Here to help

Monthly photography revenue: $5 Monthly photography audience: 9 million across Unsplash and Pexels.

Can someone check on Mark Di Stefano? Surely the trust fund babies have a price on his head now?

There’s a lot said about how we Aussies are more divided and alone than we ever have been in this country.

But when I see multiple cars across lanes of traffic work together to hilariously block an aggressive driver from getting ahead in the traffic I reckon there’s voice left in us yet, Australia.

Vote yes.

Show me a more “Aussie” Aussie, than this legit Aussie legend.

I’ll wait.

I have a confession to make: I’ve built an Australian news website that is purely created by large language models. It’s autonomous and although I can edit, delete, and stop it, I don’t unless something bad happens.

It’s been a week so far and honestly, I prefer reading it to the other news websites that inspire it.

It’s public but I’m scared about sharing it just yet.

I’ve also been having an LLM rewrite a friend’s blog and I love it.

Hoo roo, Uluru, am I even supposed to be here?

Uluru is such an icon. Its simple beautiful existence is one of my earliest memories, reading about it in encyclopaedias or National Geographic and Australian Geographic magazines. Seeing it in advertisements and in movies, Oprah and Young Einstein, but back then everyone called it Ayers Rock. Today we call it what it always has been: Uluru.

Uluru has had a complicated 200-odd years of history. Before Europeans visited Australia for the first time, the red centre was just plodding along quite well as a special place for the Aṉangu people and neighbouring Aboriginal nations.

But a few years ago everything changed. In the 1870s some white blokes sighted Uluru. 1936 saw the first tourists arrive, 12 years later some tracks that would become roads were laid, and in 1959 Eddie Connellan built an airstrip. His name’s important later on in this story.


I’ve been lucky to witness Uluru’s glory twice now and the main difference since the last time was that in 2016 people were climbing the rock, and now in 2023 every cafe, restaurant, and bar was alive with talk about Uluru from a political point of view. Some talking about the Voice to Parliament soon going to a referendum, some talking about climbing it or why we can’t now, others talking about everything you can or can not do in the area - like drinking and taking photos in certain areas, and most were talking about how the extraordinarily high prices for everything was married to a general lack of enthusiasm from staff for visitors to be present.

Most of my visit this time - aside from creating the marriage ceremony I was hired to create - was spent thinking about a comedic video I’ve seen on social media a few times recently. The premise of the video is that before a theatre performance an MC offers an acknowledgment of country before the protagonist, an audience member, asks if everyone should leave. She says “if we’re on someone else’s land, we should leave, shouldn’t we?” going further to ask if proceeds from ticket sales were going to the owners. It’s a joke at the expense of what can often seem like token or hollow effort to just be better about how Australia, the whole island and surrounding islands, were inhabited by intelligent, valid, interesting humans well before Europeans turned up and started naming things and claiming areas. Not just one group of people called Australia home, hundreds of different Aboriginal nations did.

For a few years the people new to the land were pretty bloody horrible to the locals, genocide-horrible, and in recent years current generations of leaders across the spectrum of Australian society have been throwing around the hot potato of how to deal with this generational trauma.


I was born on the Gold Coast, gifted an Australian citizenship, freedom to roam this entire country (unless there’s some pandemic apparently) and yet thrust into a political debate about being welcomed to a land, land ownership, land use, and land respect.

I’m voting yes for a voice to parliament, I believe it’s the right thing to do but I don’t think it’s the only thing we should do, there’s a far bigger elephant in the room.

As native titles are transferred, and places like Uluru fall more into line with the wishes of the owners, what should happen on that land? Should we leave?

1993 saw the Northern Territory government acknowledge the local name of the rock in a dual naming situation, eight years after the land was returned to the original owners, but still today the airport and the resort keep the names Ayers Rock. As you enter the airport you’ll see the name of the original airstrip builder on the building (Connellan) but to be sure not to confuse the tourists the airport you book a flight to and the motel you book a room at are the right ones, they carry the name Ayers Rock. Obviously they’re keen on keeping that revenue, and I’m keen to keep giving it.

But, customer service at most of the stores and businesses is by First National people and despite paying top-shelf prices I can’t help but feel that they’d be happier if we weren’t there. After all, we were on their land and after we set up shop there (and put chains up the rock) we gave it back to them as long as we could stay.


I’m invited to Ayers Rock this week in my capacity as a wedding celebrant by a German couple who want to commit to marriage in an iconic, unforgettable, location. They plan to apply for residency and wanted to have the most Aussie wedding ever: at Uluru. (Photos below)

The location they choose for the ceremony seemed to be ok in my humble Australian citizen opinion. The lines on the side of the road were white (not yellow “no stopping” lines), and the land off the road was unfenced. So, we started exchanging vows about twenty metres off the road and quite soon after an unhappy first Nations lady, driving a Toyota land cruiser and flashing a card that meant she could tell us what to do, told us what to do and to move on. We did respectfully, to the sunset viewing area that she suggested.

But the overwhelming experience of Uluru for my German friends and others we talked to, second to the rock’s overwhelming beauty, is that the rest of us aren’t really all that welcome - but our money is.

Which is a confusing position to leave all of us, including the First Nations people, in.


I have a proposal for all of us to consider. Let’s go all in. If we’re supposed to leave, please let me know. If we’re not supposed to be in Uluru please let Qantas and the motels know.


But if we’re going to stay, let’s work out how we can do that in a way where I don’t feel like I’ve committed genocide by asking for a $30 burger that the menu said I could have if I ordered it.


And if we’ll stay, let’s right our wrongs as a community, as a nation, as invaders, as citizens, and as residents. This middle ground was and is necessary, like birthing pains it has been taking us somewhere beautiful, I just don’t think anyone with the power to decide knows where we are going.

My family came to Australia in 1903, I sure hope that by 2103 the society my grandchildren live in will be one of unity and joy, not constant tension and racism.

So let’s figure out where we’re going and let’s go there.

Flying into Sydney over the Blue Mountains from Uluru this afternoon was a visual treat

Two Google conspiracy theories proven true today:

1: Google Chrome tracks and shares your web browsing for advertising purposes:

Chrome now directly tracks users, generates a “topic” list it shares with advertisers.

2: Google Assistant shares your queries for advertising purposes: Research paper.

Podcast recommendation for the media, podcasting, and tech nerds in my circles: Really Specific Stories. It’s by @martinfeld of @HemisphericViews on “the narratives of tech-podcast fandom and the role of open RSS”. Two of my favourite episodes so far are with @marco and @jsnell.

Shane Parrish on playing the long game:

Every action is a step toward the short game or the long game. You can’t opt out, and you can’t play a long-term game in everything. You need to pick what matters to you. But in everything you do, time amplifies the difference between strategies that work in the short term and ones that work in the long term. The long game allows you to compound results. The longer you play, the bigger the rewards.

Duelling Retro Roos sighting

Books hold most of the secrets of the world, most of the thoughts that men and women have had. And when you are reading a book, you and the author are alone together—just the two of you. A library is a good place to go when you feel unhappy, for there, in a book, you may find encouragement and comfort. A library is a good place to go when you feel bewildered or undecided, for there, in a book, you may have your question answered. Books are good company, in sad times and happy times, for books are people—people who have managed to stay alive by hiding between the covers of a book.

– EB White

Most of us, me included, can barely think past the next three minutes. We operate in this fear of lack, lack of good or sleep or money, that completely ignores the long arc of our life which gives us decades of evidence that we haven’t gone without yet, and all trend lines point to us being fine in the future.

That’s one of the elements of marriage I love so much.

In marriage you’re forced - by its very nature - to acknowledge that your life is far bigger than this three minute period of stress and anxiety we’re currently facing - in fact we have a whole life ahead of us, and considering that big picture, it’d be great to have someone else in it.

I’m so glad I got over myself long enough to realise that my big picture was missing you, Britt, thank you for making it so much better by simply being you.

Happy 11th anniversary xx

I’ve driven 737km today, I have 93 left, and I just want to say there needs to be a royal commission into the state of servo food in this once great nation.

I often wonder if Lin-Manuel Miranda is working on a Peggy spin-off

Many thanks to the airline gods for offering up a new CEO for our national flights of Australia for make benefit glorious nation of Qantastralia! May our new blessed CEO that is the one and only decision maker in the entire organisation, no board of directors or any other executive staff. Make good our glorious airline that can now do no wrong and only make good decisions. Whoever the former CEO was, whatever their name, sexuality, or ethnicity was - I forget - may that bad person be forever gone to go lead some European airline far, far away, from our great nation.

Qantas forever!

Guy who’s not the sharpest tool in the shed gets rolled by the world

The lead singer responsible for bringing this century its greatest motivational pop/ska punk/power pop song, All Star, has passed away.

Pitchfork:

Steve Harwell, the founding singer of Smash Mouth, died today at his home in Boise, Idaho, of liver failure, The New York Times reports. The musician was 56 years old. Harwell dealt with alcoholism and numerous health issues in the years preceding his death.

Smash Mouth undeniably left a dent on pop culture from 1999 onwards, and when I saw the band perform in November 2018 it was stale performance from a tired Steve with a team of young local musos behind him, yet the songs struck that joyful chord in my born-in-1981 heart.

But I want to leave you with Steve’s 2003 cover of Neil Diamond’s You Are My Number One.

Hold me down I’m gonna fly straight to heaven Hold me down Dont ever let go I’ve been around You know I can’t stay forever And when I leave I want you to know - When I’m finally gone, I’m gonna be gone without a trace There’s a lot of good times ahead before we’re done

As someone commented on X, with Jimmy Buffet passing it’s not a great week for guys who liked to party, but it seems like Steve was self-aware enough to know that all of our days are numbered.

I just hope the girl with the shape of an L on her forehead had nothing to do with this.

For sale: Leica Z2X vintage point and shoot film camera

Selling my beloved vintage Leica Z2X 35mm film camera for $700 AUD.

I bought it in Paris but I’d like to step up to a bigger film camera. The Leica has a 35-70mm zoom lens, autofocus is super quick and precise, so no more blurry pics, smart exposure control for a point-and-shoot film camera, shutter speed ranges from a slow 1/4 sec to a fast 1/300 sec. Plus, there’s a “B” setting for long exposures. Serial number is 2378996 and it’s got that infectious red dot.

Available for pickup on the Gold Coast (Palm Beach) or I can deliver to Brisbane, Sydney, Hobart, or weirdly Uluru over the next two weeks as those are places I’m going to be. Also driving from Sydney up to Gold Coast on Tuesday so I can deliver on the way.

Slip into my DMs if you’re keen.

Examples

Here’s some photos made with the camera around Paris this year. These images were scanned in Paris, I’ve straightened a few but the colours and exposure are out of camera.

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Can anyone I know remember the name of the modern web browser for MacOS System 9? I don’t know why this matters to me so much but I need to browse the web inside a virtual machine of System 9 just to feel something today while I wait for news to occur for today’s Sizzle.

I’m a part of the Hobart wedding trail coming up in a few weeks. I’m expecting a great crowd to fly down and come and jump on a bus or boat and check out the Tasmanian wedding scene. My friend Nina at Isle Weddings is hosting, check out her website for more info.

You’re never going to guess who Nouba interviewed.

I’m guest editing The Sizzle today. Apologies for any banana peel in the email.

I’m the guest on the most recent episode of Polka Dot Wedding’s Feel Good Wedding Podcast. My audio recording isn’t great because it was recorded in a small tiled Italian co-working office room, but the sentiment is great: getting married can be and should be awesome and enjoyable.

Listen on their website or in your podcast app of choice.

And thank you to Dorothy and Mary for having me :)

YouTube bringing that dad energy

Death to paper straws

Home

Can confirm, hearing the instrumental “Still Call Australia Home” as you’re settling in your seat as everyone boards, tickles an emotional muscle.

I’m in the Qantas Singapore Lounge and the waiter poured me a glass of Shiraz, a 2020 from South Australia, on the left.

I make the joke, “2020, not a good year” and then I laugh and smile back at him.

He comes back five minutes later with a 2016 cab sav (on the right) hoping that I like that better.

My comedy is wasted on these people.

Frames from Singapore

Four year old just now at our Singapore hotel as we’re getting ready to go to Singapre airport: I don’t want to eat here, I want to eat at ‘the club at the airport’.

Someone’s enjoying her dad’s Platinum status a bit too much.

Luna calls cable cars “plane trains” and honestly, that’s a much better name.

When we took the kids overseas everyone told us to make sure we look after them …

Hello, Qantas my old friend

Entering the Paul Kelly stage of our Europe adventure …

Arriverderci, au revoir, aufwiedersen, hasta la vista. Yeah, every fucking city’s just the same.

CDG ✈️ LHR ✈️ SIN

We’re packing and getting ready for our homeward journey tonight in Paris. We’ve got three flights left, and the longest ones just earned us a text message from Qantas letting us know that the four of us had been upgraded to business class (RIP my points balance). We’ve got a few nights in Singapore left and it’s back to the Southern Gold Coast after almost a year away.

So because I’m a big nerd, these are our family travel stats since we left home last September and listed our home on Airbnb:

  • Photos on my phone: 10,017
  • Days away from home: 354
  • Flight hours: 87
  • Airbnbs and hotel rooms: 52
  • Flights: 50
  • Airports: 23
  • Cars (rented/borrowed/owned): 17
  • Countries: 10
  • Boats: 3
  • Children: 2
  • Eurostars: 1
  • MacBooks that survived a glass of whisky being spilt on them: 0
  • Brown hairs left on my head: -6

Michael A. Fletcher reports for ESPN that the real life story behind the Sandra Bullock movie, The Blind Side, was based on a lie.

Retired NFL star Michael Oher, whose supposed adoption out of grinding poverty by a wealthy, white family was immortalized in the 2009 movie “The Blind Side,” petitioned a Tennessee court Monday with allegations that a central element of the story was a lie concocted by the family to enrich itself at his expense.

Every day I think about the fact that so much Of our culture today is built on lies. Where do we go as a people? Do we lean in to it or revolt?

I walked out of the house this morning and a man was urinating onto the street, facing in my direction, two metres away. I called out that he was disgusting and he stared at me in the eyes.

After riding a scooter across town to a store I walked upon a lady on the street bent over and attending to her monthly needs.

Just now walking to the grocery store I witnessed a man with both hands amputated smoking a cigarette, his two arms acting as two fingers.

The Parisians have really left their mark on me today.

Richard Rohr in Things Hidden:

It is amazing how religion has turned this biblical idea of faith around to mean its exact opposite: into a tradition of certain knowing, presumed predictability and complete assurance about whom God likes and whom God does not like.

We have 48 hours left in Paris. I’m I’m curious what your one awesome thing to do, see, eat, or photograph in Paris. We travel slow, don’t travel like tourists, don’t really hit the common “top 10 things to see” lists, and we’re travelling with two kids, so sometimes we miss things that everyone thinks is awesome. Give me your one recommendation.

I think I’ve spent too much time in Paris this year.

I just got into an argument with another dad about which Parisian playground is the best one.

The American fool thinks the Lourve playground is the best.

Bearly made it home last night

Another chapter in the ever-growing story of how I interact with, and use, social media:

I wrote a little while ago about choosing two social networks.

I kind of have, Mastodon and Threads/Instagram/Facebook. By which I mean that the Meta platforms all blur together with crossposting and attention.

That leaves my remaining accounts from the tier list, Facebook Page, LinkedIn, and Twitter/X.

Rather than delete them, like I’d rather, I’ve trialled throwing them to ChatGPT.

I’m still refining the prompt, but here’s what I’m asking ChatGPT 4 to do in a Zapier zap:

It starts with an instruction, or a set up which looks like this …

You are a content producer for Josh Withers the Australian wedding celebrant, a marriage celebrant famous worldwide for creating epic marriage ceremonies for adventurous people. You believe that the best kind of marriage ceremony and wedding is an intentional one, where everyone invited is invited for a reason and with a purpose, and that everything that happens at the wedding happens with intentionality and purpose. You are not necessarily against wedding traditions but you are against wedding traditions for the sake of wedding traditions. You write and speak in Australian English, and in a classic and timeless nature but with the wit and humour of Australian marriage celebrant Josh Withers. Be funny. When talking about weddings use inclusive language, use bride only if you’re talking about a female person getting married, not as the title of the wedding industry client, and explore a diverse range of topics, cultures, and kinds of people that could get married.

Then I prompt it to write a post like this …

Write another new controversial tweet as Josh Withers, do not enclose it in quotation marks, written in the style of Australian wedding celebrant Josh Withers based off his writing online and on social media, asking a question or posing an thought about Josh Withers’s wedding planning style. The tweet can be a controversial opinion about a modern, inclusive, intentional style of getting married; or an insight into modern wedding planning; or a reflection on wedding traditions of old and how they don’t matter any more. Designed to illicit engagement and a response from people who see it. Take into account all interviews and responses by Josh Withers Australian wedding celebrant, and everything Josh has written on his online. Keep the message to under 280 characters. Do not start with greetings, do not use Australian slang like “G’day”, do not use any hashtags. Be controversial and talk about all kinds of different wedding topics. Make each tweet different and unique.

There’s a 66% chance of the zap running that every hour, and 50% of the time the content goes to Facebook.

My engagement on these existing platforms has been very low for a long time, so let’s see if this moves the needle. If not, it’s a fun experiment into what a LLM can do for social media.

Just a couple of Australians having a French win. Frame from last night in Paris with yours truly.

Will the Australian government send in an SAS extraction group to save Britt, the girls, and I when France loses to the Matildas in the World Cup quarter-finals today?

Did some A-grade marrying in the rain in Paris today

A Modest Proposal; For preventing the children of poor people in Ireland, from being a burden on their parents or country, and for making them beneficial to the publick, by Dr. Jonathan Swift, 1729:

I am assured by our merchants, that a boy or a girl, before twelve years old, is no saleable commodity, and even when they come to this age, they will not yield above three pounds, or three pounds and half a crown at most, on the exchange; which cannot turn to account either to the parents or kingdom, the charge of nutriments and rags having been at least four times that value. I shall now therefore humbly propose my own thoughts, which I hope will not be liable to the least objection.

I’d forgotten how nice Facebook Paper was. What was the last great UX you experienced?

My daily steps over the past seven months

I think it’s beautiful that the one thing that binds us together as a global community, regardless of colour of skin, religion, where we were born or where we live, or wealth or lack of it, is how our days old street urine all smells the same everywhere.

Resume the conversation

My only regret from my radio career is that I never once said, whilst on air, the line that inspired my career:

Tank fly, boss walk, jam nitty-gritty. You’re listening to the boy from the big bad city. This is jam hot. This is jam hot.

An element of the wedding industry which offends so many inside and out, the part that eventually pushes many insiders out and back into the normal world where couples kissing in front of you all day at work is not normal, is the unreal nature of so many weddings. That for a single day people dress up and play pretend.

I can tell you that although I’ve witnessed it over my fifteen years in the business, I also push back against it at every chance. I’m also lucky that my clientele aren’t indicative of that side of the wedding industry.

Which is why I love film photography. It’s so raw and honest. Often imperfect, and perhaps with error, it’s a plain and simple recording of the light that entered the lens at that time.

So here’s some film photos made by my friend James at the two Italian elopements we had together last week in Tuscany.

Elopements planned by my girl, Britt.

Sari Azout’s “letter to a friend who is thinking of starting something new” is beautiful. As Sari subtitles it, ‘if you are thinking of leaving your job to start a company or passion project, this letter is for you too.’

  1. Will you use this opportunity to grow and evolve or will you use it to beat yourself up?
  2. How will you avoid insecurity work?
  3. Can you learn to enjoy the process as the end in itself, not the means?
  4. Can you learn to enjoy the process as the end in itself, not the means?
  5. Will you default to the norms of your industry, or will you be an original?
  6. What tools will you use to quiet your ego and see reality clearly?
  7. Do you have clarity on what kind of financial value you aim to create?

If I had a beef to pick with anyone in the world today it’s how so many of us let life happen to us instead of us making us happen to life.

I hope you get to know your inner world. I hope you thrive financially while living your values. I hope you focus less on what you achieve and more on who you become. I hope you learn to be kind to yourself. I hope you fall in love with the process. I hope you see the point of pursuing passion work is not to drain yourself to create work that eclipses your life, but rather to create a life you are proud of. I hope this new venture takes you far away from conformism and enables you to make a life and a living on your own terms, with your spirit and creativity unhindered.

With any luck you’re reading this article well after I first shared it in August 2023, and if this is the case I felt the need to find the link and send it to you as you consider embarking on something new.

Make this process mean something so we have a cool story to talk about in a decade’s time.

Colonel Sanders and the sadness in scaling businesses

Mimi Sheraton in the New York Times in 1976 telling the story of walking into a KFC with Colonel Harland Sanders:

You’re frying for 12 minutes—that’s six minutes too long. What’s more, your frying fat should have been changed a week ago. That’s the worst fried chicken I’ve ever seen. Let me see your mashed potatoes with gravy, and how do you make them?

The Colonel is paid $200,000 a year to do advertising and PR for KFC, but when asked about Sanders' remarks on the chain’s methods post-sale:

Raw chicken turns customers off, so we play it safe and fry at lower temperatures for a longer time than the colonel likes.

Which is fair, but this plays to my theory on scaling businesses.

When you run a small or micro business, a single storefront, or perhaps a business like Britt and I do with The Elopement Collective, or our Airbnb, or my celebrancy practice. Businesses that are anti-scale can celebrate the JOMO of business, the joy of missing out. We can’t do every elopement, or every wedding, or take every Airbnb booking on the Gold Coast.

Because of our very deliberate JOMO we can chose a different direction for our businesses where we aim to be five our of five stars, or whatever rating system is in play, we just aim to be the best.

Cabel Sasser once tweeted:

I can’t help but feel there’s a wonderful and often unexplored middle ground between “die” and “grow and grow aggressively”

And ever since I read that I’ve been fascinated on that unexplored middle ground.

When you decide to scale you very simply decide not to be the best, but instead to be the biggest, the cheapest, the most-available, and you turn your back on the best.

I remember a small hotel we stayed at in Manhattan once and it proudly boasted a 7.2 rating on one of the hotel review websites which rated hotels out of 10.

If one of our businesses was 72% as good as the best of that category of businesses we’d shut it down, or completely rework it until it was a really good business and bringing immense value to people.

But when you’re just one of the thousands of hotels in New York, maybe 7.2 is ok?

But it’s not ok for me and it wasn’t ok for the Colonel.

Tess McClure in The Guardian reports on Pak ‘n’ Save’s mealbot:

A New Zealand supermarket experimenting with using AI to generate meal plans has seen its app produce some unusual dishes – recommending customers recipes for deadly chlorine gas, “poison bread sandwiches” and mosquito-repellent roast potatoes.

The app, created by supermarket chain Pak ‘n’ Save, was advertised as a way for customers to creatively use up leftovers during the cost of living crisis. It asks users to enter in various ingredients in their homes, and auto-generates a meal plan or recipe, along with cheery commentary. It initially drew attention on social media for some unappealing recipes, including an “oreo vegetable stir-fry”.

We’re in the beautiful age of quality assurance in large language models. The giveaway is that the supermarket responds with:

(we are) disappointed to see “a small minority have tried to use the tool inappropriately and not for its intended purpose

Instead of owning the issue and revealing that the whole thing is built on a house of cards and we’re all just figuring this crap out.

After two months in London, across regional Austria, Liechtenstein, regional Italy, Puglia, and Tuscany, it is so refreshing for my soul to be walking the streets of Paris again tonight.

I could walk the streets of Paris and New York City for the rest of my days and never get bored or lose inspiration.

Why do airlines communicate a flight’s departure time instead of a “be at the gate” time? Every airport and every airline has different timings and many of us live in flight anxiety because of the lack of information.

Is there a good technical reason why departure time is communicated but not gate-deadline time?

Pro tip for flying out of Vienna Airport: you walk past a Starbucks before check-in, and you think, “awesome, a not-Austrian coffee! If there’s Starbucks at check-in there’ll be a Starbucks after security,” but there isn’t.

There is an epic kids playground though.

Over the weekend I wrote a piece about the fluff coming out of commercial radio in Australia, referencing my own time in a commercial radio station in very remote Western Australia, and considering going back last year but the wage had actually decreased.

Anyway, it was poorly written, so sitting at Gate F6 in Vienna Airport just now I edited and fixed it.

Any other errors or omissions are the faulty of your web browser.

Driving from Siena, Italy, to Graz, Austria, today Goldie and I were looking for somewhere to stop for lunch and we decided on this place named after a beach in Los Angeles.

I took Britt’s Fuji X-S10 with the 27mm f/2.8 for a play while we were there.

Commercial radio isn't "booming", it's barely paying the minimum wage

The PR-wing of the commercial radio community in Australia is getting everyone excited about a new report - that they commissioned and is weirdly in their favour - about how commercial radio in Australia is turning 100 years old this year on November 23rd.

The report tells a compelling story, which I don’t consider to be the actuality of local and regional commercial radio in Australia.

A few takeaways from the report include:

  • About three hours of locally significant content per day is broadcast in regional communities - which is pretty much just obeying the law.
  • 74% of Australians surveyed answered “sure, why not” when asked if they think commercial radio and audio build a sense of community.
  • Over 1/3 of the jobs in commercial radio are in about 1/3 of Australian society (that being, regional Australia).

And it was on the jobs issue I wanted to rebut the argument that Australian radio is “booming”.

It might be easy to try and point out that anyone born in the last 40 years doesn’t know what the antenna on their car is for, or how the Australian commercial radio industry has very poorly stepped foot into podcasting and internet distribution, especially in regards to local and regional content, one of the biggest voids in the sphere of content available today.

But instead I’ll share a personal story that might tell you how booming commercial radio is in regional Australia.


Late 2009 I accepted a role that I was so unqualified for that it was a joke. Twenty-seven years old, with only volunteer broadcast radio experience on my resume, having only even stepped foot in Western Australia once before at the other end of the state in Broome, let alone the small town of Esperance found on the far western side of the Great Australian Bight on Australia’s southern coast, 720 kilometres from the most remote city in the world, a forty hour nonstop drive from home.

The population of over 13,000 people had just shrunk a wee bit after the shock closure of the Ravensthorpe nickel mine in January of that year, but on a freezing cold Saturday morning this young buck who could not name song by The Travelling Wilburys found himself on the corner of Andrew and Demspter Street sitting at an outside broadcast studio in sub-zero temperatures (possibly).

I fell in love with the town of Esperance and its small population. It was a crime that I didn’t know who the Wilburys were considering one of its members had holidayed there, and it was a shame that 14 years on I appreciate the then Radiowest, now Triple M, playlist a lot more than that 27 year old did.

I moved on from that station to Star FM Port Macquarie just over a year later with many great friendships and a much more robust understanding of how to be a leading voice of a local community.

I bring up this anecdote because through COVID things were rough in the wedding industry and Britt and I considered changing many things in our life. One possibility was moving somewhere regional and quiet, somewhere far away, somewhere like Esperance and when the job advert for my old job as breakfast radio host popped up I got in touch. I loved the town and would have cherished the seachange, now with two daughters and now married to the girl I wrote letters to the last time I lived there.

Thirteen years on, with the Esperance population slowly growing, with industry slowly building, and the possibility for remote work in Australia slowly increasing thanks to the NBN and Starlink I thought things might be a little brighter for a modern family moving to the Great Southeast of WA.

  • The cost of goods has increased 36% since I last worked in Esperance. If you paid $60,000 for something in 2009 you were paying $86,000 for it now.
  • The average wage locally in Esperance (according to the ABS - 2021 to 2006) has increased 65% over (about) the same time period.
  • The cost of renting has actually doubled.
  • Esperance-Goldfields property purchase prices have increased about 13%.

But the wage on offer for the same job had decreased 7% and was most likely in a smaller team even though it was only a local staff of seven for two radio stations (I was the sole local programming hire) when I was there in 2009. There was the possibility of increasing the wage by also doing radio advertising sales but I’ve proven in the past that an advertising salesperson I am not.

The same role, for a slightly larger audience which would be begging for local stories and content in an ever-globalised content world, was paying $938 a week after tax - $177 more than the minimum wage.


The premise I’m making here is that the very heartbeat of commercial radio is creating a compelling story for an audience and inserting as many ads around that as possible. The fact that a community so bereft of local stories, news, and media personalities cannot support a good wage for someone to fill that role speaks to the weaknesses in the local media market, and the unwillingness of the corporation operating the media to invest there.

I remember a time at Radiowest Esperance where the technology that connects the telephone line to the broadcast console - which was already the simplest of radio technologies, old and very very simple - broke down and there was real deliberation as to whether it should be replaced. I posited the question: are we planning on taking phone calls and broadcasting phone calls and interviews on the radio station in the future? Were phone calls being broadcasted important to the job? I believed they were, but at all levels of management they weren’t sure it was worth it.

A 2009 era iPhone panorama photo of the low-tech Esperance studio

Maybe Esperance was never going to be a profitable radio station, and if so, hand the broadcast license over to a community radio organisation and let the community run it, like they do the fire and ambulance services.

Talking about the Esperance community spirit, we raised thousands (I think it was about $20,000) for the Perth Children’s Hospital when businesses could push their boss off the Tanker Jetty into the subzero Southern Ocean winter waters if they raised or donated $1000. If any community was going to excel at a community radio station it would be Esperance.


If a national commercial radio network can’t afford to pay a local content creator more than $177 a week over the minimum Australian wage to create and broadcast about 24 hours a week of local content by themselves without local assistance, then I cannot believe that commercial radio is soaring in popularity, or even breaking even financially as a business. Instead, commercial radio in Australia sounds like an industry that has ignored advances in civilisation, in communication, in broadcasting, and how societies work in 2023 and is just hanging on by the threads of people who haven’t got CarPlay yet.


Rest in peace, commercial radio. You were my first love, but at one hundred years old maybe it’s time to pass the batten to someone who understands how to be an integral part of a community.


This article has been updated because I’m a better podcaster and radio presenter than writer, plus I’m writing all this on my phone as I travel around Europe and the new autocorrect in the developer beta of iOS 17 is good but buggy

Not everything is forever. Some things are just internet onions.

This website, the-life-and-death-of-an-internet-onion.com, will live from July 26th through August 30th, 2023 — about 5 weeks total, the average lifespan of a non-refrigerated onion. — Laurel Schwulst

It’s beautiful.

The “_______ is typing” dots are unencumbered by the politics of social media because they’re a passive signifier of attention: the tech does it for you, so it’s an unusually honest message that “_______ is alive and mentally present for you.”

Things I can remember:

✅ My couple’s names in a wedding ceremony ❎ Which of my children has which name ❎ My credit card PIN ❎ How old I am? ❎ Which side of the road to drive on in which country I’m in at the moment ❎ Who our insurance is through? ❎ If the h in hola is silent? ✅ The lyrics to Wonderwall

Father of the bride yesterday asked me who’s father I was. I’m now that old.

This is your annual reminder that there is a pager emoji 📟 please don’t forget to use the emoji for all of your pager-themed conversations.

My favourite part of the wedding ceremony is when we show each other our best memes

Things I learned today:

  1. When you drive many kilometres past beautiful sunflower fields in Tuscany full of big and ripe sunflowers ready to be in a florist’s shop window, five days later when you go back to photograph them they’ll be harvested and in shop windows.

  2. Sunflowers follow the sun, so when you go out to shoot them at sunrise, they’re all looking down like they’ve been listening to Nothing Compares 2 U on repeat since they found out about Sinead.

  3. “Sunflowers at sunrise in fog” isn’t the epic photo I hoped for.

I wonder if Mariah Carey ever regretted collaborating with Ol’ Dirty Bastard?

Adi Ignatius inteviewing Karim Lakhani for the Harvard Business Review:

Just as the internet has drastically lowered the cost of information transmission, AI will lower the cost of cognition.

And he comes in with the zinger, which I believe to be true:

What I say to managers, leaders, and workers is: AI is not going to replace humans, but humans with AI are going to replace humans without AI. This is definitely the case for generative AI.

Two applications I used daily in the 90s/2000s but don’t exist today and I haven’t sufficiently found replacements for are MS Money and MS Access.

Thanks for ruining everything, Bill Gates.

For couples that book my David Copperfield package I do a cool magic trick and make your guests disappear.

Take & Leanna this afternoon in Tuscany.

WinRAR

Three years ago today I called for a new Saint to be named in Melbourne. turns out Aussies are super compliant and boring so nothing happened.

Saint Valentine of Rome was martyred on February 14 in AD 269 after he continued marrying people when marriage was banned. Weddings are banned in Melbourne from Thursday. Will there be a Saint of Batmania?

Jake Meador in The Misunderstood Reason Millions of Americans Stopped Going to Church in The Atlantic:

Contemporary America simply isn’t set up to promote mutuality, care, or common life. Rather, it is designed to maximize individual accomplishment as defined by professional and financial success. Such a system leaves precious little time or energy for forms of community that don’t contribute to one’s own professional life or, as one ages, the professional prospects of one’s children. Workism reigns in America, and because of it, community in America, religious community included, is a math problem that doesn’t add up.

If there was a major crime cast on society in the last generation it was this. The simple idea that professional and financial success reign.

I love my email. Not because I love my email but because due to the swings and round-a-bouts of modern life needing email, and because writers and publications I want to hear from send emails, I’ve figured out how to have an email account that I love. Which according to my friend Steven, isn’t possible. Perhaps it is not dissimilar to training a demon to do the housework.

But one day, I can only hope I am so unimportant, so unneeded, so unplugged from the swings and the round-a-bouts, that I can profess what Don Knuth wrote in the nineties:

I have been a happy man ever since January 1, 1990, when I no longer had an email address.

His very-90s blog post is seemingly popular for advocating that the hyphen be dropped from e-mail, but I am so inspired to reach the stage of life that Knuth quotes in the post:

`I don’t even have an e-mail address. I have reached an age where my main purpose is not to receive messages.' – Umberto Eco, quoted in the New Yorker

A former boss told me that as you become more important in a job you start getting more keys, and you seemingly start on a path to have so many keys. Keys to the front door, back door, your office, someone else’s office, the stationary cupboard, the storage room, etc etc.

But then you reach a stage in that job where you are so important that you start handing keys back, and all of a sudden you have no keys.

Being that important sounds lovely, but I’m more excited about being in such a position that my importance in the world is not an ongoing concern. Instead, my friendship, my love, my efforts would be so valuable to my friends and family that none of us would be measuring importance - or likes, views, follows, or subscriptions - but that we would be in that beautiful utopia of just being a friend.

I was today years old when I learned that the word ‘homographic’ didn’t mean what my brain assumed it meant.

homograph - noun each of two or more words spelled the same but not necessarily pronounced the same and having different meanings and origins.

Like the word bass means a fish, an instrument, and a sound range.

Not recorded images or photos of certain people doing things.

Doing God’s work over here, keeping the Gold Coast honest about it’s Super Mario koala

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but the All Saints sung, “flexing vocabulary runs through my head”. Not, “sex and the vocabulary runs through my head.” Not like I’d thought the latter for the last 26 years or anything.

📷🇮🇹 Siena, Tuscany

For an interesting NASA and Apple-related fall down a rabbit hole, start with the origin of the name of “The Whole Earth Catalog” in 1966, skip forward to 1972 when a whole earth photo was made.

Then take a turn to one of Steve Jobs' favourite sayings “Stay hungry stay foolish” which he quoted in 2005 at Stanford in his famous commencement speech.

Ad then wrap back around to how the whole earth image as an iPhone wallpaper came to be.

Welcome to my brain, where I just think about this stuff.

I, for one, welcome our new British open web overlords

The BBC has embraced ActivityPub, nice work @BBCRD@social.bbc! I’ve always thought that the long term advantage from a commercial and brand point of view is to be able to say “follow us” and the words that follow are your own brand and your own network.

The power of Mastodon, ActivityPub, the Fediverse, means that the BBC can be on Mastodon, and someone else can be on a completely different platform that supports ActivityPub (like Threads or Micro.blog for example) and you can follow them. For example this very blog, because it’s hosted on Micro.blog means you can follow @hello@joshwithers.blog on your favourite ActivityPub service, like Mastodon, Threads/Tumblr/Flickr one day soon, Pixelfed, or maybe even X if Leon gets his head right, and you can read the blog there. Even WordPress has an official ActivityPub plugin now!

In fact I could imagine that sometime in the future there’ll be a new service that perhaps is more suited to a broadcaster like the BBC and they can transition from Mastodon to it, yet the social graph remains.

When brands and companies operate their own Fediverse instances you can get the updates from your electricity company, you can follow your celebrity or known-person-that-is-a-cool-person and they all get to control their brand and their experience. Instead of mess like this and this.

They are not at Twitter’s, X’s, Meta’s, Google’s or my mercy.

They also are not at the whim of a verification service that is either a secret black box experience, or thousands of dollars a month.

We’re using social.bbc as the domain, so you can be sure these accounts are genuinely from the BBC.

This is the social media future I’d like to see. Where following someone or something is as simple as sending and receiving email.

As a large, high profile, public service organisation, we’ve had to work through a fair number of issues to get this far and we’ve had advice and support from several teams across the BBC. Explaining the federated model can be a challenge as people are much more familiar with the centralised model of ownership. We’ve had to answer questions like “Are we running our own social network?” (well, we’re kind of hosting a small section of a social network) and “Are we hosting a user’s content?” (well, we don’t allow users to create accounts or post from our server, but they can reply to our posts from their own servers, and then their posts will appear next to ours and then they might be stored on our server and it all gets quite complicated).

Does ActivityPub and the Fediverse have issues? Yes. Should that stop us from moving forward and trying to figure it all out? No.

Tuscany for a week or so

Look, all I want to do with my life is make enough money so I can afford to buy Yahoo! which owns AOL which owns Netscape so I can once more have a web browser that has an animated N in the top right again.

Shane Parrish on fs.blog with, Hanlon’s Razor: Not Everyone is Out to Get You, is such an encouraging read today. I was only thinking about how we more often than not think that everyone is looking at us as I was on a beach in Puglia yesterday considering very quickly stripping out of my swimmers into dry pants. I almost did until Britt suggested that everyone would see me. I still wonder whether they would have, and I think not. Most people don’t notice me, don’t see me, and don’t know me. Even less read this blog.

What is Hanlon’s Razor you may ask?

Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by neglect.

The fs.blog article stretches the razor out to some real world artefacts:

The media:

Modern media treats outrage as a profitable commodity. This often takes the form of articles which often attribute to malice that which could be easily be explained by incompetence or ignorance.

Not everyone is out to get you.

Years from now the people of Puglia will still talk of the strange man who came from the land down under, where women glow and the men have takeaway American coffee with cold milk. I said, “Do you speak-a my language?” and they just smiled and gave me an espresso with a cold milk drink on the side.

Imagine your audience are the stupidest people alive

About 20 years ago, somewhere early 2003 from memory, I learned the most important lesson I’d ever been taught in broadcasting and business, from Stan Hillard:

(When you’re broadcasting) imagine the audience are the stupidest people alive, but treat them with the upmost respect.

It’s an axiom employee daily. Assuming the audience doesn’t know the backstory, they don’t know your reasoning or motivation, or they simply haven’t been listening. It’s about inclusivity, with the upmost respect for them.

On a side note, in trying to find where Stan was at today, I stumbled across this piece I wrote for Radio Today ten years ago. Looking back it feels rude at the time but still true today.

I reinstalled the Twitter app when X first appeared just so I could experience this firsthand, in the flesh

Opportunity cost and Eggs Benedict

Leaving Puglia today and I’m struck by the thought, after having experienced about thirty different international communities and societies over the last year that there is an opportunity cost to every society.

I’ve left every community thinking “this was great, but …” identifying trade-offs and compromises made to build that society.

Like Puglia for example, I love it here, but there’s no breakfast culture. In fact most of the world doesn’t celebrate breakfast like Australians do, and weirdly enough that’s possibly important to me.

Perhaps utopia is impossible because it would simply be the longest list of compromises ever made? Perhaps getting a good breakfast means you have to live in a society where everyone bottles their feelings and pretends to be polite in traffic, as opposed to Italy where you find out how the driver feels straight away but they won’t road rage you?

Is that the price I want to pay for eggs Benedict and a long black with cream?

11:27pm Italy time and I’ve been slogging away for hours at the stupidest CSS thing that changed in the most recent version of the Shopify code. Felt good to feel like it was 1999 and I was a web developer again.

Any how, sugargathered.com is now open for business on Shopify, I’ve just spent the last (far too many months) amount of time moving it from Squarespace and implementing lots of cool things for my friends who run it.

If you want some donuts delivered to, or at an event on, the Gold Coast, I can recommend a great website.

A MacBook with a turntable instead of a keyboard? Shut up and take my money, DJ.

ABC Radio National’s Andrew West interviewing Ian Buruma on in The religious and spiritual ethics of wokeness:

It’s when a movement to improve certain social conditions, whether it’s about race, gender, or whatever else, turns from an active effort into a rigid ideology, then you have a problem.

Ian originally wrote about wokeness in Harpers Magazine:

Writing about “Woke” has at least two pitfalls. One is that any criticism of its excesses provokes accusations of racism, xenophobia, transphobia, misogyny, or white supremacy. The other problem is the word itself, which has been a term of abuse employed by the far right, a battle cry for the progressive left, and an embarrassment to many liberals.

Looking forward to a future where being woke is a clearer idea and status. I’m sick of wondering if I’m a sheeple or a wolk folk, and by who’s definition.

Update on the book writing: I wrote a lot and I thought it was ok, I ran it past some friends and it wasn’t as good as I thought, and on further reflection it was worse.

Then I read this in Stephen King’s On Writing:

If you want to be a writer, you must do two things above all others: read a lot and write a lot.

So I’m currently reading a lot. I used to read a bit, now I’m reading a lot.

A photographer at the water park we were just at asked a family to say “Mozzarella” because I guess formaggio doesn’t make a smile?

In Western Australia yesterday

Amanda Holpuch in the New York Times in June 2023:

South Koreans became a year or two younger on Wednesday after a law standardizing the way the government counts age took effect. There are three common ways to count age in South Korea, but the government has changed its civil code to recognise one: starting from zero on a person’s date of birth and adding a year at each birthday. This is the age-counting method used most often around the world, but it is a departure from the country’s most popular method, often called “Korean age.” Under that system, a person is considered 1 year old at birth, and a year is added to their age each Jan. 1. This meant that an infant born on Dec. 31 was considered 2 years old the next day.

Every extra square metre I experience on this planet I find new and wild ways that humans have figured out how to exist. Korean Age isn’t the weirdest, but it’s up there.

The deeper I traverse into life on Planet Earth, into fatherhood, business, weddings, photography, and friendship I am ever further interested in art, making art, and making great art.

So Matt Ruby’s deviation from his normal comedic quick wit and observation Substack into this interesting read on George Michael, his coming out, connecting Freedom with Wham and his later Freedom ‘90, captured all of my attention today.

This whole read was just really interesting.

Sometimes the clothes, indeed, do not make the man

Uluṟu, that beautiful monolith that captures the very essence of Australia. It’s my favourite place in Australia. This iconic natural wonder is far more than an awe-inspiring spectacle - it represents the rich tapestry of indigenous heritage and gathering for ceremony.

Uluṟu is intrinsically linked with the indigenous Anangu people, serving as an embodiment of their Tjukurpa - a term that captures the moral laws, spirituality, and existence of these people. Uluṟu’s formation stems from a time of ancestral beings, the Dreamtime, whose stories are etched across its vast surface in the form of petroglyphs.

For countless generations, Uluṟu has been a significant ceremonial site, bearing witness to rites of passage and important celebrations. This land, imprinted with the songs and dances of the Anangu, has been a part of their life’s tapestry, from birth to death and every joy and hardship in between.

Now, imagine breathing your marriage into life here - a site resonating with tales of love, life, and dreams, where the deep-red soil has observed centuries of human connection. A marriage ceremony at Uluṟu represents a union not only between two individuals but also a communion with our shared human legacy and the ancient rhythms of this remarkable landscape.

As a wedding celebrant, my commitment at Uluṟu is to ensure that your ceremony encapsulates your story while honouring the deep-seated heritage there. In doing so, we pay tribute to the traditional custodians of this land.

Joining the long line of stories woven into this sacred land, adding our mark to the generations of human experiences that Uluṟu has borne witness to.

Photo by Heart and Colour from Steph & Kieran’s elopement with The Elopement Collective.

Reed Albergotti in Semafor Technology:

Meta, Microsoft, Amazon, and the navigation company TomTom released a free mapping dataset in a bid to compete with Google Maps and Apple Maps. Developers can use the data, which includes 59 million places of interest, to create their own navigation products.

If a powerfully simple mapping system like What3Words can’t gain traction in a decade, I don’t think TomTom can get a foot up by giving it away.

I am curious where this leaves Bing Maps though.

Keith Richards, April 1962:

Mick (Jagger) is the greatest R&B singer this side of the Atlantic and I don’t mean maybe.

I’ve been having problems for years where my iPhone would have no space left, yet seemingly actually have space left. I’ve always felt like it was an iCloud photos library problem. So I finally downloaded originals to my Mac and I am now convinced Photos is the problem.

📷🇮🇹🏊🏼 Luna looking like she’s not having fun in the water when she’s truly having a ball.

Lefineder:

The English, said Sir John Fortescue (c. 1470), “drink no water, unless at certain times upon religious score, or by way of doing penance.”, looking at reconstructions of beer consumption from the middle ages to the pre-industrial era this was only a slight exaggeration. When estimating consumption from the amount of beer provided to soldiers, convicts, and workers or reconstructing consumption from tax revenues on beer we see that the average person consumed about a liter of beer a day, this is around four times as much as consumption in modern beer-drinking countries.

Better times, ya know

Do I get my eye scanned by Worldcoin when I’m in Paris in two weeks or do I just share my genitalia size here in public instead?

Anthony Agius in The Sizzle

The ATO is cool with scammers ripping off $557m in MyGov identity fraud. A whopping $557m has been stolen off the ATO and people entitled to a tax refund by scammers in the last two years.

If the Aussie Tax Office is ok losing half a billion dollars, I’ve just realised that I have spent about that on uniform laundry last year.

Six years of making photos and droning

Reflecting on Matt Mullenweg ten years ago reflecting on Steve Jobs/Apple’s courage to release products, I’ve been on an early morning walk down memory lane - perhaps because I woke very early and the kids are still asleep - thinking about my first few weeks with a drone camera, the original DJI Mavic Pro. It was delivered on the 28th of April 2017. I was fresh off a red eye flight from a Perth wedding the day before and straight out the door to a Tenterfield wedding that afternoon. Britt came for the drive and we put the drone up at the Airbnb.

I didn’t read a manual, or the civil aviation guides. I just turned it on and thought I’d see what it did.

I didn’t know about aperture (or lack thereof in the original Mavic), ISO, white balance, or shooting in RAW.

I just put it up in the air, mashed my fingers into the remote control, and started creating.

It always has been and always will be not only my first camera, but my favourite camera.

I’ve crashed a few drones, thank god for great insurance and DJI Care, lost one into a wave, and another into Queensland’s Great Sandy Bay. I’ve even had one fly away in Iceland due to magnetic interference!

Since these early photos - seriously, all a fluke that they’re ok photos - I’ve been so blessed to have my work experienced by so many. 24 million views on Pexels, 201 million on Unsplash, commissioned work in a handful of places like the Sydney Reece showroom or the Hilton Gold Coast boardroom, and in a gallery in London.

I’ve got my own fine art prints gallery online that’s sold about three photos, and the commissions I’ve received have probably covered the cost of the drones I’ve purchased, but regardless it brings me so much joy.

I hope my photos over the last six years have meant something to you. It makes me smile looking back at these first few photos. I had no idea what I was doing, I was just making.

Matt Mullenweg on Apple and 1.0 products back in 2010:

Many entrepreneurs idolize Steve Jobs. He’s such a perfectionist, they say. Nothing leaves the doors of 1 Infinite Loop in Cupertino without a polish and finish that makes geeks everywhere drool. No compromise! I like Apple for the opposite reason: they’re not afraid of getting a rudimentary 1.0 out into the world.

This has rocked my day. Re is its own word. It’s not short for regarding.

✈️ Flighty 3 is a private frequent flyers social network!

One of my most-used and favourite apps is Flighty, and they’ve just announced a new version that’s basically a frequent flyer’s private social network. I love it!

Flighty 3.0 is the new way to share your flying with family and friends. Keep track of your loved ones, not flight numbers. Another industry-first from Flighty.

  1. Flighty Friends - Connect with family and friends once, then you can see each other trips and get alerts — automatically and ongoing. You’ll see them on your map, can choose alerts levels, and can stop sharing anytime.
  2. Group Trip Ready - Your flights and friend’s flights appear together in the new Today view. Everyone’s live ETA and status make group trips easy.
  3. Friends Names in Flight Alerts - Now with name, photo, and custom controls per person to avoid notification fatigue.
  4. Trip Sharing - Send multiple flights at once. Receivers can add them to Flighty, or simply view them in their browser.
  5. Whose Flight is That? - See who’s on each flight in your flight list, on the map, and including their seat number if you’re sharing a plane.

Add me as a friend on Flighty, yo!

P.S.: Flighty is one of the very few iPhone apps I use on the regular which was quick to allow it’s app to be used on Apple silicon Macs, something more developers should consider enabling.

Imagine being the butt of this line in a news report “The launch of the eye-scanning cryptocurrency project Worldcoin” and you’re also the guy standing behind the main brand name related to a technology the world is shit scared of, and just thinking everything is fine.

Matt Levine on “Leon Smuk”, from X:

I guess my question is, what was he paying for? Musk didn’t want Twitter for its employees (whom he fired) or its code (which he trashes regularly) or its brand (which he abandoned) or its most dedicated users (whom he is working to drive away); he just wanted an entirely different Twitter-like service. Surely he could have built that for less than $44 billion? Mark Zuckerberg did!

I’m looking for an erratic egotistical billionaire to trust my savings and family’s future to, if you can recommend anyone, slip into my DMs

Scissor me on parenting

In a story on the book ‘Welcome to Sex’, Amy Remeikis writes in The Guardian:

The response to a sex education and consent book which was removed from the shelves of Big W stores shows how far Australia still has to go on sex education, a Senate committee inquiry has heard. Welcome to Sex, co-authored by the former Dolly Doctor and adolescent health expert Dr Melissa Kang and feminist writer Yumi Stynes, became the target of an online protest campaign. The book was pulled from shelves at Big W after staff members were abused.

I’m fairly done with the constant outrage in society today, the idea that we just need to be upset all day every day. It keeps journalists employed and right wing activist social media groups active. But I will say, I don’t want Luna or Goldie to stumble across this book in a bookstore without me there to guide them.

I have a theory that the problem with modern Australian society is that continue outsourcing jobs that families, humans, friends and partners should be doing. An example is there’s a guy in a Facebook group today hiring people to be friends with disabled kids and it’s NDIS funded. We’ve outsourced friendship to the Commonwealth. Even in COVID most didn’t understand that the reasons for the lockdowns and border closures is because we have outsourced out community wellbeing to the state, so their undertaking of the ‘contract’ is to minimise expenses.

As it is with this book, it’s a vendor looking to win the contract for the outsourcing of your parenting.

My worldview is that there are matters for the home, for the community, for the family, to deal with, fix, entertain, talk about.

An example is my controversial opinion that I don’t like abortion. I have no problem with liberal/progressive abortion laws, it’s good for it to be regulated and I don’t think people are just out there aborting babies like it’s a fun pastime, but ultimately - in my utopian vision for the world - I’d like to see no abortion. Instead as someone is presented with the crossroads where they would consider an abortion the community would help. If money was required, they’d help. If the baby needed parenting, we’d help. That there would be a personalised, tailored solution, involving community and family compromise that resulted in the baby being born and being loved. I’m aware that my utopia does not exist, but that’s just where I’d like to see society be. No need to @ me, I know that rape exists, there are medical quandaries, and sex protection doesn’t always work, but I’d really simply, almost blindly stupidly just love to see babies be born and be loved. It’s like a one in 400 billion chance that a baby would ever be born, I just don’t want to squander it.

So I have my utopian vision, and it’s about communities and families taking it upon themselves to care for and love the ones within. Of course Police and governance has its place, but we should take more responsibility in the home and in the community. If I see someone litter I call them out on it, and if they’re not there I pick the rubbish up and put it in the bin, that’s me.

So, back to the book.

The main problem I see with the book is that I don’t want my girls to pick it up, if I liked the books message, I would bring it to them. But the other problem in the story today is with the linking of the book and consent. It’s a long shot. Consent is important, should be deeply known, understood and respected by all people.

Chanel Contos, the founder of Teach us Consent, echoed those concerns. “Young people are learning about sex from pornography, which – a phrase I always use is that is basically like learning how to drive a car by watching Formula One,” Contos said.

If children are learning about sex from pornography - I’ll humbly admit that was my early “education”, not due to my own wants but a severe lack of parental input and presence (thanks mum and dad, didn’t mess me up at all) - the answer isn’t to put a children’s book about sex on shelves. Sure, make it available as a resource to parents who want to engage with that resource when they are ready to, but the gaping hole in Australian society today isn’t lack of resource, it’s leadership from parents, or as I like to call it: parenting.

Australians are parenting less and less. I can talk about this from my own experience, my mother walked out when I was five, my step-mother didn’t really like me, and my father worked often two to three jobs.

A former Channel V host should not have to parent my children, I don’t want Woolworths Group to parent my children, I want close to zero of the community group that identifies as politicians to parent my children, and regardless of education choices anyone makes the educators are not parenting our kids.

Parents need to parent. Families and communities need to step up. Parents are not the kids best mates. Parents are not caregivers or landlords. Parents are leaders, leading their kids from birth to greatness - of course that greatness does include a deep and loving understanding and respect of other people’s consent, and also an understanding of the concepts of sex, intercourse, dating, courting, etc.

We have a set of boundaries with our kids that we will not lie to them, we will not lead them astray, but we’ll also respect their need to play, rest, and learn at their speed.

I’ll let them learn about scissoring when their fragile-because-of-age minds can fully understand what it means. Not when they pick it up off a shelf in a book shop next to Paw Patrol.

I welcome resources like Welcome to Sex being made available as a resource for parents to introduce to children when they deem so, but please make a space in society for parents to parent their children in their own unique way. Don’t force our hands. We don’t live in a single-speed society. Our lives have a transmission, everyone’s driving at different speeds at different revs using different gears, on different roads, needing to operate at different gears. Making a book this graphic and forward available for my child to just to pick up isn’t the way.

Create space for parents to lead their children, and maybe they will?

📷🇮🇹 Our last Monday in Puglia

📚 After backing and reading Renai Le May’s The Frustrated State it felt like Australian governments had completed, achieved the highest level of information technology incompetence. COVID proved me so very wrong, but then today Anthony Agius writes in The Sizzle:

Services Australia has cancelled a project to create a calculator for Centrelink entitlements, after spending $191m on it over 3 years. Incredible incompetency for such a basic thing the government needs.

How many millions of dollars can the Australian government flush until we actually get real upset?

When people talk about how the 80s were better I want to remind them that there was a character on TV whose name was Gordon Shumway, called himself Gordon Shumway, but everyone called him ALF because audiences and cast stupidly needed the reminder that the alien looking dude was an alien life form.

This is terrible branding, design, and UX. How am I going to remember where to go to be an insufferable prick now?

Thirteen eggs, four pregnancies, six years, and two children ago

I shared this on Facebook six years ago, on July 24, 2017:

Something you probably don’t realise when you ask me to be your celebrant is that in celebrating your marriage, you’re gleaning a little from mine. As I prep for your ceremony I’m taking notes on you both and your definitions of marriage,m although the foundation of my belief of what marriage is and what it looks like in real life starts at home. So with that said, I ought share some personal news about our marriage. For almost five years Britt and I have been trying to fall pregnant, so today we took the next step and our doctor extracted 13 eggs from Britt so we could get some third party assistance in that area.

How cute is it that while you’re under general anaesthetic they scribble the extraction number on your hand like you’re tattooing your BFF with a biro in high school. Life doesn’t always go as you plan, that’s the beauty of marriage - it’s the two of you together forever regardless of how well the plan’s going, or not. And because of that union, we know, that the best is yet to come.

Here’s an update on those thirteen eggs today.

Michael Bierut:

No one will remember that it was on time, everyone will remember that it was bad.

Starting to feel a little bit alone over here in Italy. Trying to get some Aussie work done and it looks like Telstra cuts you off from WiFi calling after your SIM card hasn’t been on an Australian Telstra tower for seven months. Google Fi was three months.

A birds eye view of Martina Franca, in southern Puglia, where we’ve been hanging out this month.

In these photos, happening at the same time, is a funeral procession, a dance contest, and an opera, amongst whatever else the 49,000 residents are getting up to.

There’s also two 360 photos of Martina Franca in this embed, a higher and lower shot, look for the hotspots when you’re scrolling around.

Enshittification reaches the wedding industry, revealing The Knot to be rotten

Three former employees of The Knot have blown thy whitsle. Jennifer Croom Davidson, former Global Fashion Director; Rachel LaFera, former Director of Fine Jewelry; and Cindy Croom Elley, former Account Executive at The Knot, have since left, are out from under NDA, and they’re truth-telling about one of the world’s largest wedding industry companies: The Knot Worldwide.

The Knot Worldwide is the current name of the parent company of WeddingWire, The Knot, The Bump, Hitched (which formerly had a presence in Australia, and disclosure, yours truly was a paid writer for them), a series of localised wedding directory websites through The Americas and Europe, and the Real Weddings TV show. They started as an AOL channel in 1996 and went to the open web in ‘97, and just before the dot com bubble burst they raised $35 million in their first IPO.

Since then lots of corporate shit has occurred, most of which bores me as someone who prefers to be on the “tools” in the wedding industry, not in the C-suite, but the trio dropped the bomb on The Lioness in an extremely detailed expose revealing that advertisers don’t get what they’re paying for and the whole business is terribly run.

This internal chatter among The Knot Worldwide’s customers is confirmed by looking at currently available web review sites; to this day, you can see complaints of contracts unfulfilled and impossible to get out of, and torrents of fake and spam leads. A recent Business Insider article also reveals that things are still amiss, reporting that 70–80 percent of the company’s leads are scams and that little to no inbound results from their advertising.

PetaPixel sums it up well:

Whistleblowers within the company say the supposed “swindling” issues began with vendors who purchased premium ads with the promise of generating new client leads, but instead were delivered spam content and even lost rankings within The Knot’s own ad-based search results.

The enshittification of the internet spares no person and knows no bounds. It is sad to see one of the few companies that made it through the dot com bubble to be revealed as rotten.

I’ve just finished reading Burn-In: A Novel of the Real Robotic Revolution by P. W. Singer, recommended by my favourite Cybersecurity Guard, @qldnick 📚

It was a compelling and enjoyable read, and honestly, a refreshingly human conclusion that somewhat settles its disturbing and frightening chorus of a society a few years ahead of where we are today struggling with the effects of advancing technology.

Never go into battle with a bot you can’t trust and never trust a bot you don’t know how to snuff out.

The largest truth in this fictional read is that fear always takes the wheel, especially for those who have apparently been listening to the guy who said not to fear.

This is Luna, pitching you her idea for her new TV show. If you are a TV producer, Luna would like to sit down and talk about you buying the rights to her show.

Please, no tyre-kickers.

📷🇮🇹🚁 Fifteen of Monopoli’s best from my Mavic in Puglia yesterday

📷🇮🇹🏖️ Torre Canne, Puglia

One day we’ll have to explain to our grandkids that we all dressed daggy now because of Elon Musk.

Big news crew, new gender droppin

Doing the right thing is always the right thing

⛪️ I did it, I finally did it. I crucified the sun.

… and other photos from the sunset over Monopoli, Puglia, this afternoon 📷🌇🇮🇹

This might be a silly question for an old nerd to ask, but for those that know the answer, why is the book he famously write in prison, ‘The Fugitive Game: Online with Kevin Mitnick’, not really listed as a book by him on his website etc? Also, the only eBook version I can find is on Kindle. Why?!

Derek Sivers in The past is not true:

Aim a laser pointer at the moon, then move your hand the tiniest bit, and it’ll move a thousand miles at the other end. The tiniest misunderstanding long ago, amplified through time, leads to piles of misunderstandings in the present. We think of the past like it’s a physical fact - like it’s real. But the past is what we call our memory and stories about it. Imperfect memories, and stories built on one interpretation of incomplete information. That’s “the past”.

No matter how hard they try, the modern web can’t escape Wordpress.

📷🇮🇹🏖️ Family day at the beach at Cala Maka. The beach is apparently/allegedly called Torre Canne Nord Prima della Casa Grigia, which translated from Italian means, North Canne Tower Before the Gray House, which is the most romantic beach name I’ve ever read.

Good luck ever naming a beach better than that.

I shared these words from Craig Mod a year ago today. But since then we made the choice to uproot our life in Australia, move to Mexico, then leave Mexico, travel around the USA and Europe for a while, and come home to Australia in a month’s time.

I can guarantee I’m coming home changed, but like Craig, I’m also more confused than ever about why some people travel. I mean no judgement towards any of you, but I’ve been in Italy for a month now and it seems such a waste to leave in a few weeks. Even considering my feeling that I’ve barely seen or experienced anything, I still have a deeply resonating feeling that I’m selfishly taking in the culture here, and to do what with it? Just to give the girls a childhood photo album that was cooler than mine?

The romantic ideal of travel is to leave as one version of yourself and return another, changed, ‘better’ version of yourself. This trip changed me, but not in the ways you might classically expect. I’ve returned suspicious of travel, more confused than ever about why so many people travel. Unsure if most travel of the last few decades makes sense, or has ever made sense or justified the cost. It feels like some consumerist, uncurious notion of travel was seeded long ago and, like a zombie fungus, has mind-controlled everyone to four specific canals in Venice. To a single painting at the Louvre. To three streets and a square in Manhattan. To a few rickety back alleys around Gion. An eminently photogenic set of torii in Kyoto.

Regardless of my, and Craig’s, trepidations of travel being an unjustified expense or impact, I’m forever changed by 2020-2022’s travel-related traumas and 2023’s travel adventure.

🗺️ Where’s Josh’o? An update

Just going on the record for everyone who asks where we are, where we’re living now, and if we’re ever coming home to Australia: we’re in Italy then Paris and Singapore between now and getting home to the Gold Coast late August.

I’m back to work and at your service making weddings and elopements from August 22, 2023.

I’ve got travel around Australia and New Zealand for weddings and elopements through the end of this year and early next year before we head back to Europe in 2024.

I’ve also had some requests for the USA if you’re interested in having me there too.

June, July, and August 2024 for weddings and also elopements with The Elopement Collective and some of our team including Jason Corroto, House of Love Weddings, George Bowden, House Of Lucie, and Pearce Brennan.

Finally, I wanted to address something a few people have lovingly brought to my attention “I thought you only did elopements”.

I might be married to the @elopementcollective’s boss, but I create ceremony for all and sundry. Big weddings, small weddings, elopements, and corporate events as a master of ceremonies. As the band was named, I do weddings, parties, anything.

So very formerly: I do weddings as well. If you know someone getting married somewhere in the world and you reckon we’d be a fit, let them know I exist!

I think this would be an awesome idea: a mashup of a reddit-like voting system with events calendar and geotagging plus some Atlas Obscura.

Basically a “cool things near me and/or happening near me soon” web app.

Will the 2026 Commonwealth Games, originally supposed to be in Victoria, Australia, be the first ones to test the “Vancouver should be the permanent Olympic Games city” that Jonathan Fischer reignited seven years ago in Slate, of course but for the Olympic’s little sibling, the Comm' Games:

That’s why the Olympics should relocate to a city that won’t just relieve the rest of the world of hosting duties for the Summer Games but of the Winter Games, too. It would have to be a place with the right climate. It would have to be a place that could afford it. It should possess something of an international flavour. It should have a proven track record. It should be located in a democratic country but not a hegemonic one. It should be Vancouver.

📷🇮🇹 40 degrees celsius today in Martina Franca, but the second you step into the shade the temperature drops about fifteen of those bad boy degrees.

Thought I would check on the two-year-old before going to bed …

A Declaration of the Interdependence of Cyberspace:

Closed Fiefdoms of the platform world, you weary giants of stocks and small talk, I come from the Pluriverse, the new home of the Heart. On behalf of the future, I invite you to join us.

Apparently, it’s wise to let people know you have things available if you indeed do have things available … which I have neglected to do about my piece “South o' Talle” being licensed to Priints in London. It looks great on walls if you have any, any walls that is.

I really like the tiny awards

Much gratitude to @Mtt for designing a really nice and extremely useful Micro.Blog theme in Tiny Theme. I woke up this morning with a blog refresh on my mind, and the theme is great + he’s been so helpful! In addition, thanks to @vincent for Tinylytics bringing the stats and click-kudos to my blog.

I feel like not a day goes by that I don’t witness an even more Italian thing than I had witnessed previously. Today’s most Italian thing I’ve ever witnessed is an Italian driver beeping at a parked Italian ambulance to get out of the way as the medics attend to someone.

It’s always easy to differentiate Italians and tourists on the streets of Puglia. Italians are in the street yelling at each other, tourists are in the streets scrolling.

📷🇮🇹 Alberobello, Puglia

Looks like Canon is doing five blades

Aliens have come to Australia. When they ask for our leader, who do we call? Chuck, Albo, Sandilands, or Murdoch?

📷🇮🇹 Polignano a Mare, Puglia

Wild times back in the forties

Diver

Swimming in the ocean and in ocean caves with your four year old is a workout right?

This week ahead sees the Australian celebrancy movement celebrate its 50th anniversary.

50 years ago 0% of Australian weddings were lead by a civil celebrant, today over 80% are. And the entire movement has driven the Australian wedding industry forward to a point where we lead the world’s wedding industry in product, service, brand, professionalism, and creativity.

For a movement that’s grown from Canberra to the world, thank you Lionel Murphy, Lois D’Arcy, and my celebrant colleagues for making a way for me to make a job that takes me aroundd the world.

Read my whole article on the Celebrant Institute website.

I sure hope these peeps who make somewhere between $150,000 USD to multiple millions a year are going to be financially ok through this strike.

If I can be really frank, does anyone else “have parents” but honestly really doesn’t have parents relationally/socially/spiritually and when you have a down moment in life you just feel super alone? Or is this just adulthood? Or do other relational orphans just develop thicker skin?

Italian kids get way more realistic puzzles than Aussie kids

The most terrifying thing I’ve seen in Italy so far was ten Italian youths aged around 12 years old loudly chanting “gay!” and aggressively geaturing in a way that was a little bit too familiar for this Sarina High School alumni, taunting this young lad who was just laughing in their face!

He’s either gay and joyfully proud, or not gay and impervious to the bullying that brought earlier generations to their knees.

My favourite/least-favourite thing to do when travelling Italy is go to these million year old classical Italian osterias (restaurants) run by the village’s most heralded humans, and ask for takeaway.

The first reaction from the staff is a blank look on their face, as if I’ve just asked them to murder the weakest member of the wait staff.

The second thing they do is ask permission from someone in a back room. I assume it’s the pope.

The third is agree then go searching for takeaway boxes or dishes. I’ve seen them run across the road and get some.

Finally, after all this I’ll ask for a glass of vino “while I wait” and the same thing happens every time. The young wait staff member comes back and explains that they can’t do takeaway glasses of wine.

I just wish I could explain to them that we’re dispassionate about disciplining our two and four year olds in restaurants and the world’s just a nicer place if we takeaway.

But thanks to the magic of Apple Translate and hand gestures we get there in the end.

Does anyone else have weird iPhone storage glitches? I’ve had this problem for the last maybe 4-5 years where my iPhone doesn’t actually know how much storage it has. I’ve been on a 256GB iPhone for a while now, and Apple Store staff have asked me to backup and restore, I’ve even started on new installs recently.

The only thing that normally fixes it is doing a backup to my Mac.

My gut feeling tells me that there was a time maybe 4-5 years ago where I was loading in RAW images from my camera into iCloud Photo Library and editing with RAW Power and I reckon that they’re stuck in the iCloud/phone storage jungle.

My Mac’s Photos library also has this weird thing where it picks 1 or 2 photos that it allegedly cannot upload to the cloud, yet it actually originally got that photo from the cloud (it was uploaded on my phone), and the photo is still in the cloud.

I’m semi-tempted to burn this 20-year-old .mac/MobileMe/iCloud account to the ground, export everything, and start again. It feels like there’s always something small that could be buggy happening … or is that just how iCloud feels for everyone?

The most fascinating, whilst also overwhelming, experience in travel, especially when you undertake it for more than a weekend is ‘noticing’.

Almost every time I notice something I think about what Steve Jobs once said:

“When you are a stranger in a place, you notice things that you rapidly stop noticing when you become familiar.”

I sincerely love being a stranger. I think that’s a common thread in my life, that when I become too known I feel uncomfortable. I feel very comfortable being a stranger in a strange place and rather too uncomfortable being at home.

I hope I can give my kids the upbringing that would help them feel the complete opposite, but still curious about the world, still desiring to be strangers in a strange place, noticing.

I think I just accidentally haggled with a vendor in an Italian street market. I thought the fruit cost less than five euros, I gave him five euro., he looked at me and giggled, winked, and points his finger at me and took the money and gave me no change. Is that what haggling is? I’m good at life.

When I first went into self-employment over a decade ago now I set up templates for common or transactional emails and I was always aware that I didn’t want an email not from me, yet from me, to not sound like I had sat down and written the letter.

So I used to write the automated emails from our cat, Stevie.

Stevie is no longer with us, her liver went south, but she lives on as of this week. I’ve replaced all of our automated emails with ChatGPT-generated emails and yet messages written by Stevie AI. Seeing what ChatGPT/Stevie is writing is amazing and hilarious and really good.

Consider that my teaser to enquire with me for your wedding, that a cat will send you emails.

You’ve heard the phrase “Content is King”, coined by Sumner Redstone - the old rich white person behind CBS, Viacom, Paramount, MTV, Comedy Central etc who passed in 2020 - but Bill Gates popularised the idea for the internet back in January of 1996. It’s so beautiful and odd to read this essay 27 years on.

But to be successful online, a magazine can’t just take what it has in print and move it to the electronic realm. There isn’t enough depth or interactivity in print content to overcome the drawbacks of the online medium.

15 years of the Apple App Store and my first purchases are realllll nerdy

I’ve been featured in all the great newspapers around the world, the New York Times was one of the coolest. But none felt as good as having one of my photos printed six years ago in the newspaper I read as a young adult, the newspaper I got it earliest jobs from by reading the classifieds.

Why the rush to 5G?

On a per user basis, a 5G network is cheaper to operate than a 4G one. The technology is easier to maintain and more reliable. It’s not sexy. That’s something that is hard to sell to consumers, but makes a huge difference to telcos. There’s much more to this. The additional capacity may not be a pressing matter in New Zealand right now, but in time there will be more connections and 5G gives carriers headroom to cope with future demand. There may be future apps that can use the speed.

Jiddu Krishnamurti:

The ability to observe without evaluating is the highest form of intelligence.

“For everything there is a place but that of wonders is just a little more hidden…”

📷🇮🇹 We went for a drive to the little village of Ostuni today and unknowingly stumbled upon a Dolce & Gabbana fashion show. We didn’t stick around to watch the beautiful people be beautiful, but we saw the rich people trying to get into the town we were leaving.

📷🇮🇹 Sunday frames from Martina Franca, Puglia, Italy

Threads, compared to Mastodon and BlueSky, is the difference between an idea and a product.

When Steve Jobs saw the graphical user interface with a mouse at PARC, it was an idea. Apple made it a product.

Mastodon and Bluesky are powerful and beautiful ideologies. Threads is a good product.

Apple Photos face detection software needs a “tell me the date and location of that photo” button when asking which of your daughters it is if the photo is of an infant.

Programmed a Zapier zap to get ChatGPT to reply to my website wedding enquiries with an email and a text message in the form of our deceased cat reincarnated as AI. My AI assistant refers to me as “Joshy”.

Pretty much me

Can I share a weird thing that has haunted me for over a decade now? Yoko Ono followed me on Twitter 10 years ago and I forgot to follow her back. Has it been too long?

PJ Vogt’s new podcast helps me feel better about my deep desire to drink coffee mid-flight. Do you drink airline coffee?

One of my great loves in this world is the format and medium of audio storytelling. First radio, then podcasting, it’s one of the most beautiful ways to tell a story.

So it’s pretty cool to wish the modern medium of podcasting a 20th birthday this weekend. Thank you to @podnews for the writeup.

The girls say they’ll catch us dinner tonight. I’m googling pizzerias.

I think about the Malcolm Gladwell book ‘Talking to Strangers’ every day

We think we can easily see into the hearts of others based on the flimsiest of clues. We jump at the chance to judge strangers. We would never do that to ourselves, of course. We are nuanced and complex and enigmatic. But the stranger is easy.

Today I’m thinking about it in context to Threads by Instagram and how the hot takes are flying about how it’s absolutely going to succeed or absolutely going to fail.

Make room for the nuanced, complex, enigmas.

My day job is to stand in between people on their wedding day and make them smile then kiss. It’s not a bad gig tbh.

Yesterday in Puglia, Italy, with Casey and Rob.

Planned by The Elopement Collective and photographed by Pearce Brennan at Masseria Grieco in Ostuni.

Cory Doctorow was on the ABC talking about enshittification and it was beautiful. Must listen audio/radio.

Advice I read recently said “Social networks: choose two” and I can’t drop the feeling that it’s quite sage. In the overwhelm and the overbearing influx of social media content and the greater network of services there I’ve almost chosen zero instead of two, which isn’t any better than the fifteen or so you can choose from today.

I feel like today I live in between the rock of exposure and engagement and the hard place of privacy. I’ve moved so far away from Google and Meta properties to avoid the leakage of private data and my contribution to their share price, and moved toward the open web, privacy-respecting social media, and I feel really good about it - but barely anyone else in my network cares. I’m still surprised when I see intelligent friends using Twitter as if it’s the kind of bar people like us would show our faces.

Seeing the launch of Instagram/Meta’s new Twitter doppelganger, Threads, is encouraging this week as the project lead, Adam Mosseri is seemingly committed to open-web philosophies:

“We’re committed to building support for ActivityPub, the protocol behind Mastodon, into this app. We weren’t able to finish it for launch given a number of complications that come along with a decentralized network, but it’s coming. If you’re wondering why this matters, here’s a reason: you may one day end up leaving Threads, or, hopefully not, end up de-platformed. If that ever happens, you should be able to take your audience with you to another server. Being open can enable that.”

Being open also enables you to “choose two.”

Here’s how I currently “social media” (Spoiler: this is more media and less social):

Anything I want to share with the world starts here on my micro.blog, which serves a few purposes.

  1. Firstly it shares my stories with my micro.blog community, and they’re a great bunch of people. A good portion of them are people who - like me - backed Manton’s Kickstarter for the whole idea, and the rest are people who went searching for a cool glass of water in the internet desert.
  2. Secondly, my micro blogs actually post to my own blog, which is hosted by micro.blog but if I ever took issue with the service, the fee, the community, the leadership, or whatever may happen - I can very easily take my content to my own hosting. I could in fact do that today and still remain part of the micro.blog community and use the micro.blog tools. This is the power and the beauty of the open web and decentralised internet services.
  3. Finally, micro.blog pushes my content out to a number of other social networks, with the number always growing. Linkedin, Twitter, Mastodon, Medium, and Bluesky, all social networks that I look active on because of micro.blog.

I’ve had broadcasting in my genes for twenty years so that model serves me well. I craft a story, tell the story, and it shares to a few places. Today I’ll then get that story and also take it where micro.blog can’t (because of lack of API), like Facebook, Instagram, and now Threads.

And on a regular day, that’s where it stops. Opening those apps for anything other than broadcasting is such an overwhelming action. I’ve unfollowed thousands of people, but it’s still too much.

But if I had to pick two today, I’d go where I get the most interaction, and that would be the Meta properties and micro.blog. Mastodon, Bluesky. T2, LinkedIn, and Twitter are all graveyards as far as community, for me at least.

I open all the apps on a daily basis and it’s just so rare to feel seen or heard in there. I get more feedback and encouragement via emails from subscribers to my weekly blog email or text messages and conversations with people I love. You can actually publicly see how many people read my blog, and the odd post breaks out, but mostly it’s a group of 10-15 people.

Maybe that’s just the way it’s supposed to be? Maybe we’re not supposed to be on every single social network in existence? It’s just a strange thing for me to come to terms with, the gradual decline from talking to thousands of people a day on the radio, and on stages, through to being on breakfast TV and reality TV, to just being a dad who gets 10 likes on his Facebook post and calls his wife to let her know he’s going viral.

If you’re interested in reading more about micro.blog and the wider open web movement, Manton Reece’s book is great, or at least, will be great when he publishes it and takes it out of draft.

Long live Threads, maybe there’s a chance for a second breath of Twitter-like-wind there.

The shining light in the rubbish pile that is Twitter is the @HelpfulNotes service. There is so much misinformation out there, so many people so keen to share the metaphorical train crash that is the world that they don’t even care if the train crash ever happened.

Social media tier list - July 6, 2023, update

🎂 This is the official tier list of social networks, all of them, from the beginning of time to July 6, 2023. This list is not to be questioned and is wholly correct, trust me.

👼🏻 God Tier

  • IRC
  • Vine
  • iMessage
  • LiveJournal
  • Myspace
  • MSN Messenger
  • ICQ
  • Usenet/Google Groups
  • Email
  • Blogrolls
  • Jerry and David’s Guide to the World Wide Web (OG Yahoo!)
  • phpBB
  • Friendster
  • micro.blog
  • FourSquare
  • Digg (version 1 and 2)
  • Path

👑 Royalty Tier

  • Threads
  • Apple eWorld
  • Hi5
  • Instagram
  • Mastodon
  • Flickr
  • Tumblr
  • ActivityPub
  • Blogger
  • WordPress
  • SixDegrees

😶 Adam Sandler Tier (Could take it or leave it)

  • Orkut
  • Google Wave, Buzz, Shoelace, Friend Connect
  • LinkedIn
  • Pinterest
  • BBS/Bulletin Board Systems
  • Meerkat
  • AOL Messenger
  • Twitch
  • BlueSky
  • Snapchat
  • YouTube
  • Wavelength
  • BeReal

🫤 Pleb Tier

  • Facebook
  • T2
  • iTunes Ping
  • Orkut
  • Google+
  • Weibo
  • Yahoo! Messenger
  • FriendFeed
  • App.net
  • Periscope
  • Fidonet
  • Pixelfed
  • Discourse

🤮 Would rather eat cat vomit tier

  • Twitter
  • WhatsApp
  • Nostr
  • Hive
  • Telegram
  • Plurk
  • Musical.ly
  • Bolt
  • Bebo
  • Yik Yak
  • Signal
  • Diaspora
  • TikTok
  • Green bubbles on iMessage
  • Post
  • Discord
  • Reddit
  • Swarm
  • Pownce
  • RenRen
  • Weibo
  • Parlar
  • Truth Social

Shoutout to Bruno Bouchet for the tier grading methodology. All other Tier grades (like the S, A, B, C, F make no sense to me)

Normalise back to work after a sabbatical photos

First day back at work photos

After being on sabbatical for almost seven months I’m creating a marriage ceremony today.

I don’t think I’ve ever had a break from my day job for this long, I might have fogrgotten what to do.

Any tips for a fresh wedding celebrant?

🏖️ Tuesday at Spiaggia Lido Silvana, Puglia, Italy

Threads, a thread

🧵 Decentralisocial networks are cool, but you know what’s also cool? Talking to your existing friends group, and having your content enjoyed by people.

Unlike most of my late-2022 and 2023 content which hasn’t been seen by more than 10 to 15 eyes.

Prediction: Threads will win; T2, Bluesky, the others will falter; ActivityPub and Mastodon will be a fun place for niche communities.

Happy America Day

We’ve been in more Airbnb’s this last year than most people, about 35 so far I think. Most hosts mention either in person, or in their review, how it’s unique to travel with our kids (four and two) and how we don’t ask much of them, like how this host mentioned out “autonomy”.

Should we be more needy? Are we too Australian? Honestly, after driving three to five hours with kids the last thing we want to do is talk to an Airbnb host lol.

Remember when we’d suffix names with 2000 to make them feel cool and modern?

2023: when everything has to mean something.

Taylor Swift touring somewhere or not touring somewhere being a political move is wild. She’s not playing Brisbane in Australia because it was too much on her schedule, work-wise, she’s not a robot.

If anyone’s forgotten their password recently I can pick you up a new one when this store opens later today

Italian supermarkets: two aisles worth of pasta, but no rolled oats

Sunday in Puglia

My new Kobo is better than my old Kindle, but barely

📚 I’ve owned and used a Kindle for over a decade, it had been my favourite gadget for so long. But over the years I started to realise that Amazon wasn’t interested in pushing the platform forward any further and the software wasn’t going to get any better. I even upgraded to the Amazon Kindle Scribe and it was an embarrassingly bad product. The final straw was when Jean-Louis Gassée’s new book, Grateful Geek just didn’t work on any physical Kindle devices, despite Amazon happily selling me a copy.

On the ATP Marco Arment started expressing similar concerns a few weeks/months earlier in 2023 and he did the hard testing and returning work required to convince me to buy a Kobo Libra 2 while I was in Paris in May.

I love this device, it’s my new favourite gadget. But …

  • The Kobo store is in a dismal state, and/or, the publishing world is in a dismal state
  • The eBook publishing world is run by terrible humans who sometimes charge more for an eBook than a printed book, often release the print book weeks or months before an ebook, and just generally don’t know how to sell a book to people.
  • There isn’t a competing ebook marketplace outside of Amazon and Kobo.
  • And there’s a chance that the other great feature of Kobo eReaders is going away in Pocket integration, that is, unless Kobo updates its software.

So I’m now left in a weird spot, there are five books I’d like to read and buy, but I can’t buy them for my Kobo. Will anyone sell me a plain old boring ePub?

The enshitiffication of the world continues and I guess those books will just sit on my electronic bookshelf waiting for me to figure out how to read them without cutting down another tree or having two ereaders.

Looking for fiction book recommendations. Give me the name and why you think I’ll like it.

Hey Siri, prepare an edit of the Richmond FC players singing So Long, Farewell to Elon Musk.

New month, new locale. Hello, Martina Franca, Puglia.

Temple of Valadier: Refuge for sinners

Over 1000 years old, this sanctuary in Genga’s Frasassi Caves was intended to be a refuge from sinners, but when you see it from a sky, it looks like the church itself is seeking refuge from the world.

The temple you now see was complete in 1827 under the suggestion of Pope Leo XII. For all this time it was called the Temple of Valadier but recent study has revealed that Giuseppe Valadier, its namesake architect, didn’t design it at all.

Either which way, it’s nice to know that Catholic sinners get a cool place to pilgrimage to.

I caught a few moments after the sun set, in between rain clouds, to get the drone up. I’d been driving for 45 minutes and gotten stuck down two dead ends. I was making these photos tonight!

A few other accounts of the sanctuary:

Rate my desk (June 2023 edition)

For the past ten months, my and my family’s non-clothing and non-toiletries life has completely lived inside a Think Tank camera bag and it will do so for another 50 days. I took the opportunity this afternoon to do a quick audit, headcount, and make sure everything I was carrying was necessary, and inspired by the Hemispheric Views podcast segment ‘Rate my desk’ I thought I would submit my ‘desk away from home’ to the internets.

All of our life’s possessions that aren’t our actual home and the furniture in that home required for it to be on Airbnb, lives in our two July ‘Checked Plus’ bags, and two Dagne Dover bags, plus a Phil & Teds travel cot and a Baby Jogger travel pram, and this Think Tank Streetwalker camera bag pictured below.

The reason for the Think Tank Streetwalker bag is that it’s unique in being a carry bag, a backpack, and a roller bag. It’s the Optimus Prime of camera bags.

I’ll guess a few of the questions “What is that?!":

  • Panic Playdate
  • photocopies of passports and actual passports
  • parfum
  • new and identical backup sunglasses because the last place you want to be is in a strange new land without your favourite sunglasses
  • octopus straps, you never know when you’ll need to strap something to something (same goes for the tape)
  • USB-C dock with an ethernet port, because sometimes you just need to plug the damn thing in to get internet
  • my eldest daughter’s camera (Nikon Coolpix childproof potato camera)
  • my wife’s camera (Fuji X-S10 with a 27mm)
  • my splurge camera purchase in Paris (Leica Z2X which means 2x zoom, film camera)
  • my flying camera (DJI Mavic 3)
  • my camera (Canon EOS R5)
  • Native Union universal cable
  • supporters gift from the Wedding Photo Hangover podcast
  • DJI Mic kit
  • MacBook Pro M2, a new addition to the kit after my former M1 MacBook Pro got drunk on a glass of whisky
  • Philips OneBlade shaver, the best travel shaver I could find and the only one that has USB charging
  • ThruNite torch that takes AA batteries because you can’t leave emergency eyesight to a lithium USB-charged battery
  • 35mm f/1.8, 50mm f/1.8, 70-200mm f/2.8
  • Anker charger and Britt has one too
  • my friend Scotty’s latest book on my Kobo Libra 2 (I’m a recent convert away from Kindle, and love this Kobo!)

Our whole charging strategy is based on IEC C7 (Figure 8) leads and getting local leads wherever we go and they plug into the Anker chargers and the 96W Apple charger. There’s a blog post on my reasoning for this. I’m now a cable dad.

So, rate my desk.

Is the future of TV, radio? Or the future of radio is TV? Either way, it’s almost 7pm and this is what Italians are watching on TV?

The number one indicator that you’re an old dad is when your cables and leads company emails “Let’s Catch Up!” and “We miss you!” as if you’re high school buddies.

My (IMHO aweome) international travel charging situation

As a family we travel with a MacBook Pro, iPad mini, two iPhones, Apple Watch, and a series of things that require either USB-A, USB-C, or micro USB to charge. We’ve chosen gadgets and utilities that are all USB-C, with exceptions where necessary.

My DJI Magic 3 drone batteries need 65W but my current travel charger’s 65W apparently doesn’t quite meet the needs the DJI three-battery USB-C charger, so the 96W Apple original MBP charger does the MacBook and the drone batteries.

For a family of four travelling globally for a year it was hard to figure out the exact right kit, but we got there in the end.

So my worldwide travel solution has been

  • two Anker 543 Chargers (65W II), these have two USB-A ports, a USB-C 45W port and a USB-C 20W port
  • my original 96W MacBook charger.

Each of these, including the MacBook charger, takes as an input the figure 8 lead. Figure 8 leads, or IEC C7 leads as they’re technically known, are very easy to procure locally, most Airbnb’s even have multiple devices already using them, they’re inexpensive, and they’re small to carry.

So I buy three IEC C7 leads for each region we’re travelling to. If we weren’t on a year long trip I’d hold onto the leads but suitcase space is at a premium. So far I’ve needed four different leads, a set for Australia, Mexico/USA, then the European kind, and finally the best of all - the British variety. The Brits don’t get much right but they figured out electrical points and plugs really well.

I also have this assortment of cables

  • 4x Thunderbolt 4/USB-C cables about 25cm long. These suit most charging, data, plugging-in situations.
  • USB-C lightning leads for the iPhones
  • the Apple MagSafe travel dock for Watch and iPhone
  • and the get out of jail free card is my USB-A to Lightning + USB-C + Micro-USB three-headed plug.

That’s how we travel the globe keeping everything charged and no stress.

Tonight we sojourn at the Tavignano Estate in Cingoli, Italy.

Apple Vision has been 'in development' for 28 years

Tim Cook once said that “we are high on AR for the long run” and it’s true, for 28 years Apple - and the rest of the tech industry - has been noodling around on augmented reality and virtual reality.

Out of a purely personal interest, I started flipping through rumours about Apple and its “glasses” to see where the leakers got it right and wrong, and the next minute I’m back in 1995, so I thought a curated list of all the leaks, rumours, and related dates might be a nice record to make in the year of our headset, AVP 0.

Enjoy this trip down memory lane:

1981 - Steve Mann designs a backpack-mounted computer to control photographic equipment

While still in high-school Steve Mann wired a 6502 computer (as used in the Apple-II) into a steel-frame backpack to control flash-bulbs, cameras, and other photographic systems.

23 May, 1995 - Apple Technical Report #125: Volumetric Hyper Reality, A Computer Graphics Holy Grail for the 21st Century?

Such a display would convincingly create the illusion of objects with arbitrary optical properties. A metallic object depicted using the display would reflect the visual surroundings of the display. Dielectric materials would show correct refraction and reflection effects. Light shone on the display would illuminate the virtual objects within it. When programmed to depict empty space, the display would, for all practical purposes, disappear, rendering the contained volume invisible. Incremental steps towards such a device are discussed.

1996 - Apple demonstrates a prototype wearable computer system from Apple Computer with a Virtual I/O head-mounted display at the seventh Stereoscopic Displays and Applications conference

September 16, 1997 - Steve Jobs returns to Apple

March, 1998 - Tim Cook joins Apple as senior vice president for worldwide operations

March 21, 2002 - Apple: Stereoscopic Displays?

Apple is said to have other flat-panel technologies cooking in the labs, including stereoscopic displays

Arnold Kim writes:

Stereoscopic displays would presumably simulate 3d/VR environments. A bit unique for the consumer market… but an interesting area of research for Apple.

May 16, 2003 - Simon Greenwold publishes his Spatial Computing masters thesis

June 29, 2007 - Apple releases the iPhone

April 17, 2008 - Apple Researching Laser-Based Head Mounted Display

A user simply plugs their handheld video player such as the iPod manufactured by Apple Computer of Cupertino, Calif., into the compact laser engine attached to their belt, and places the headset on their head. The user then selects a video to be played at the handheld video player (viewing through transparent display elements).

Apple’s patent was originally filed in May 2008 and is based on a provisional patent application filed in May 2007

December 17, 2009 - Apple Working on 3D ‘Hyper-Reality’ Displays

August 24, 2011 - Tim Cook becomes CEO

October 5, 2011 - Steve Jobs passes away

January 12, 2012 - Apple is paving the Way for a new 3D GUI for iOS Devices

The invention covers a 3D display environment for a mobile device that uses orientation data from one or more onboard sensors to automatically determine and display a perspective projection of the 3D display environment based on the orientation data without the user physically interacting with (e.g., touching) the display.

August 2012 - Palmer Luckey launches the Oculus campaign on Kickstarter

22 February, 2013 - Google aims to sell Glass to consumers this year for less than $1,500

26 February, 2013 - John Gruber on Google Glass:

And the idea that people will wear things like this everywhere (as opposed to special specific scenarios, such as workers in an environment where their hands are otherwise occupied, like, say, surgeons) strikes me as creepy as hell.

December 10, 2013 - Apple’s Work on Video Goggles Highlighted in Newly Granted Patent

A goggle system for providing a personal media viewing experience to a user is provided. The goggle system may include an outer cover, a mid-frame, optical components for generating the media display, and a lens on which the generated media displayed is provided to the user. The goggle system, or head-mounted display may have any suitable appearance. For example, the goggle system may resemble ski or motorcycle goggles. To enhance the user’s comfort, the goggle system may include breathable components, including for example breathable foam that rests against the user’s face, and may allow the user to move the display generation components for alignment with the user’s eyes. In some embodiments, the goggle system may include data processing circuitry operative to adjust left and right images generated by the optical components to display 3-D media, or account for a user’s eyesight limitations.

November 24, 2014 - Job Listing Points Towards Apple’s Continued Interest in Virtual Reality

19 March 2015 - Gene Munster Claims Apple Has Augmented Reality R&D Team

May, 2015 - Apple hired Mike Rockwell from Dolby Laboratories

The team, called the Technology Development Group, developed an AR demo in 2016 but faced opposition from then-chief design officer Jony Ive and his team.

May 28, 2015 - Apple Acquires Augmented Reality Company Metaio

January 26, 2016 - Apple CEO Tim Cook: Virtual Reality is ‘Really Cool’, Has ‘Interesting Applications’

It’s really cool

January 29, 2016 - Apple Has Secret Team Working on Virtual Reality Headset

Juli Clover reports:

Hundreds of employees are part of a “secret research unit” exploring AR and VR

February 19, 2016 - Avi Bar-Zeev on his blog: On Holographic Telepresence

I may get around to telling the rest of the story some other time. But I just wanted to say how proud I am of the team and the vision to show the world a glimpse of our collective future.

March 30, 2016 - Microsoft HoloLens released

June 2016 - Avi Bar-Zeev joins Apple

July 26, 2016 - Apple CEO Tim Cook on Augmented Reality: ‘We Continue to Invest a Lot in This’

We are high on AR for the long run

August 23, 2016 - Apple Patent Details Visual-Based AR Navigation Device - reporting on a 2013 patent

The patent notes that visual-based inertial navigation systems can achieve positional awareness down to the centimetre scale without the need for GPS or cellular network signals. However, the technology is unsuitable for implementation in typical mobile devices because of the processing demands involved in variable real-time location tracking.

To overcome the limitation, Apple’s invention uses something called a sliding window inverse filter (SWF) that minimizes computational load by using predictive coding to map the orientation of objects relative to the device.

October 14, 2016 - BuzzFeed News Japan: Tim Cook Talks About Apple’s Augmented Reality Ambitions

November 14, 2016 - Mark Gurman: Apple Said to Explore Smart Glasses in Deeper Wearables Push

January 9, 2017 - Robert Scoble on Facebook: “Apple and Zeiss working together on augmented reality optics”

January 17, 2017 - John Gruber spitballing Apple AR’s usefulness

January 31, 2017 - Apple patents detail augmented reality device with advanced object recognition, POI labelling

February 28, 2017 - Apple Exploring AR in Israel as Robert Scoble Insists ‘Mixed Reality’ Glasses Coming This Year

June 26, 2017 - The Verge reports “Apple’s AR is closer to reality than Google’s”

Apple has often been accused of acting like it invented things that others have been doing for years. That complaint is not without merit, however, Apple can lay claim to transforming existing things into mainstream successes, which takes no small amount of invention in its own right.

June 29, 2017 - John Gruber on Genre Munster’s Apple Glasses predictions

I’m hard-pressed to think of anything we do today on our phones that would be better using AR glasses. Anything.

August 4, 2017 - Apple Experimenting With Several Augmented Reality Glasses Prototypes

November 2, 2017 - Tim Cook on Augmented Reality: ‘What It Will Be, What It Can Be, I Think It’s Profound’

December 4, 2017 - Apple Supplier Quanta Computer Teams Up With Lumus to Make Lenses for Augmented Reality Smart Glasses

January 12, 2018 - Apple Reportedly Met With Potential Suppliers of Augmented Reality Glasses at CES 2018

During CES, representatives from major players like Apple, Facebook, and Google met with suppliers that make the nuts and bolts required to power AR glasses, according to people familiar with the meetings.

March 1, 2019 - Tim Cook to Investors: Apple is Working on Future Products That Will ‘Blow You Away’

February 4, 2019 - Variety: The Inventor of the HoloLens Just Left Apple

Bar-Zeev has been working in the AR/VR space for close to three decades. Back in the ’90s, he was part of a team at Disney that worked on some early VR experiences for the company’s theme parks, including “Aladdin’s Magic Carpet” VR ride.

He then went on to co-found Keyhole, the company that later got acquired by Google to become the foundation of Google Maps. After a brief stint at Linden Lab, Bar-Zeev worked for four years at Microsoft.

“He helped found and invent Hololens at Microsoft, assembling the very first AR prototypes, demos and UX concepts, sufficient to convince his leadership,” according to his LinkedIn bio.

Avi says:

“I left my full-time position at Apple in January. I had the best exit one can imagine. I have only nice things to say about Apple and won’t comment on any specific product plans.”

March 8, 2019 - Kuo: Apple’s AR Glasses to Launch in 2020 as iPhone Accessory

June 27, 2019 - Jony Ive leaves Apple.

August 29, 2018 - Apple Purchased Akonia Holographics, a Company That Makes Lenses for AR Glasses

November 11, 2019 - Apple Said to Release AR Headset With 3D Scanning in 2022, Followed by Sleeker Glasses in 2023 & New AR Sensor Coming to 2020 iPad Pro and iPhone Models, AR/VR Headset as Soon as 2021

Plus, The Information reports on the infamous “1000 person meeting”: Apple Eyes 2022 Release for AR Headset, 2023 for Glasses

Apple executives discussed the timelines, which haven’t been previously reported, in an internal presentation to employees at the company’s Cupertino, California, campus in October, according to people familiar with the matter. Apple Vice President Mike Rockwell, who heads the team responsible for Apple’s AR and virtual reality initiatives, led the meeting, which included new details about the design and features of the AR headset, these people said. The product timetables run counter to recent analyst and media reports that said an Apple AR device could arrive as early as next year.

March 24, 2020 - Apple’s AR Glasses Could Launch by 2022 as Suppliers Reportedly Ramp Up Development

May 19, 2020 - ‘Apple Glass’ Rumored to Start at $499, Support Prescription Lenses, and More

Apple originally planned to unveil the glasses as a “One More Thing” surprise at its iPhone event in the fall, but restrictions on in-person gatherings could push back the announcement to a March 2021 event

May 21, 2020 - Jon Prosser Claims Apple is Working on ‘Steve Jobs Heritage Edition’ AR Glasses, Gurman Calls Rumor ‘Complete Fiction’

They’re also working on a prototype, a Steve Jobs Heritage Edition, similar to how we had an Apple Watch Edition, like that ridiculous $10,000 gold one when it first came out. Some like tribute to Steve Jobs, obviously just like a pure marketing ploy at this point.

Extra: Twitter thread between Prosser and Gurman on the subject.

May 21, 2020 - Apple’s Augmented Reality Glasses Again Rumored for 2021 Launch

October 22, 2020 - Apple Glasses Will Reportedly Use Sony’s ‘Cutting-Edge’ OLED Micro-Displays to Deliver ‘Real AR Experience’

January 6, 2021 - Apple Glasses Reportedly Progressing Towards Engineering Verification Stage With Focus on Battery Life and Weight

January 21, 2021 - Bloomberg: Apple’s First AR/VR Headset ‘Pricey, Niche Precursor’ to More Ambitious AR Glasses and Could Launch Next Year

March 7, 2021 - Kuo: Apple to Launch Mixed Reality Headset in Mid 2022 and Augmented Reality Glasses by 2025

April 26, 2021 - Apple Glasses Prototype Reportedly Falls Behind 2021 Testing Schedule

October 28, 2021 - Facebook rebrands to Meta, as in “the metaverse”

Mark Zuckerberg:

The metaverse is the next frontier

January 17, 2023 - Development on Augmented Reality ‘Apple Glasses’ Postponed Indefinitely

March 12, 2023 - Apple CEO Tim Cook Ordered Headset Launch Despite Designers Wanting to Wait for AR Glasses

June 5, 2023 - Apple Vision Pro announced at WWDC 2023

A must-listen on the Apple Vision Pro is Cortex’s most recent episode where Myke Hurley recounts his demonstration experience with the product.

Was just driving and stopped at a red traffic light in a small Italian village and a civilian car drives up being me, looks around, and just overtakes me and runs the red light. I love Italy.

South Carolina, you go grrl

Does Apple Vision mean 360 content is finally going to have its moment?

I’ve been playing around with 360 content for over seven years ago now and I have a few questions about where Apple is going to take the format.

If you make 360 content today, you spend a lot of time looking at content like this:

It’s not as appealing as the embeds below.

I’ve recorded my work creating marriage ceremonies in 360 video, and with my various DJI drones, I’ve been trying to create 360 still content as well.

My question and thought for today is how will the new spatial computing frontier handle consumer stills and video in 360? Will Apple standardise the media, and let it be viewed in Preview or Quick Look?

Will other devices be able to make content for the Apple Vision, will Apple Vision 3D or 360 content be viewable and enjoyed on other platforms?

How should content creators prepare for this new content-style? Is this permission to buy new gear?!!? (Please let my wife know if so).

I’ve been bullish on 360 for over seven years, I’m excited to see where it goes.

Where we’re currently staying in Northern Italy

Playa Ballandra, Mexico

Brisbane, Australia

Cabo San Lucas, Mexico

Malbun snow village, Liechtenstein

Lake Wolfgang, Austria

El Pescadero, Mexico

And where we’ll build our home one day, Tasmania

I just want to go on the record for being totally cool and not scared at all by the demonic kitten sound coming from the vineyard outside our Airbnb in Northern Italy. I am a big brave man and not scared by the feline calling out in the pitch black night.

Apple Reminders in iOS 17 is finally getting pretty useful

How Italians know whether to walk around shirtless or not

Our Italian Airbnb’s TV made me feel all nostalgic

I’m back baby!

Listening to an investor on a podcast today reminded me of how and why I do what I do. He was talking about advice that he had been given regarding his investment portfolio, and the person giving the advice said how well does that pie chart of what you’ve invested in reflect or match your interests, talents, and skills? The advice being that you should invest in what you know, invest in what you are passionate about.

So, after a solid sabbatical that has taken us through Mexico, the United States of America, and so much of Europe, I am proud to say that we’re coming back to Australia in August and I’m coming back to work as a celebrant.

It’s been a wild couple of years where I didn’t know if I’d ever want to create weddings anymore, but it turns out I just needed a few months off and some quality time with my girls.

I say all of that, to say this. There’s a book, and a principle, called the proximity principle, and it’s a simple principle. The idea is that the people that are around you, the people that are your community, are the people most likely to be able to help you.

So there are two things I would love some help with. Number one, when we get home we have to buy some cars, and buying a car today is terrible. If you or someone you know is selling your car, let a brother know. Secondly, we’re coming back to work and my calendar is wide open. So if you know someone getting married, anywhere in the world, let them know that your mate Josh is a pretty good celebrant.

Normally I’d say I’m looking forward to catching up with you when I’m home for a beer, but it turns - and I’ve researched this extensively on myself during this sabbatical - that beers make me fat and bloated and sick.

So instead I’m looking forward to an old-fashioned or red wine when I’m home.

See you soon!

Is there an AI tool around yet to help manage customer journeys? New client comes in, and the AI can take that journey on the pre-set rails we decide on in the business. Automation, but with intelligence?

I accidentally installed the developer beta of iOS 17. It’s mostly fine with a handful of annoying bugs you’d expect to see three months away from launch, but I’m so grateful for offline Apple Maps. Get me some offline Apple Translate and I’ll be set!

Whenever someone sees a photo of mine and asks me what iPhone I used my 25kg full ThinkTank camera bag weeps.

The thing that’s extremely visible throughout Europe is that there was a time that buildings weren’t just built but they were created, and created beautifully.

How did that art get lost?

A 360 view of the sunset on our last night in Liechtenstein from the Fürstin-Gina-Weg, or in English, Princess Gina memorial trail on the Sareis mountain ridge overlooking the village of Malbun which has been our home for the last week.

Snuck over the border to Switzerland to watch the sun set today

Striking images at the Lichtenstein national museum of a medieval Liechtensteiner teenager using his early-model iPhone

Weirdest thing I’ve seen in Liechtenstein award goes to …

How all men bathe

Hey, Europe. Why?

Despite being 450km from an ocean or sea, summer has hit Lichtenstein and the country’s beach is open!

It’s normally pretty hard to try and fit an entire nation in one photo. It’s a little bit easier if you’re making a 360 panoramic photo. But still, most nations don’t fit.

So I can proudly say I think I got almost all of Liechtenstein in this photo.

Showed the kids what the early iPhones looked like at the Liechtenstein National Museum

Can you spot which country FIFA left off the list of countries that play football/soccer in the FIFA exhibit at the Lichtenstein national museum?

I have a confession to make.

I didn’t know “The Alps” were a thing. I thought people referred to “the alps” when they referred to alpine areas.

This probably explains why I nerded out pretty hard when I got to the Alps and kept on typing the alps and all my computing devices would autocorrect to The Alps.

Anyway, here’s a 360 photo of a part of the Alps from Kufstein in Austria.

And another from Lake Wolfgang

From the University of Berkshire Hathaway by Daniel Pecaut, Corey Wrenn:

Buffett also shared some of his classic bits of wisdom about growing wealth. Spend less than what you make. Know and stay within your circle of competence. The only businesses that matter are the ones you put your money in. Keep learning over time. Don’t lose. Insist on a margin of safety.

AI and I just published a children's book: The Mountain Princess

About three hours ago I was putting my daughter to bed and thought it would be cute to have ChatGPT write a fairytale about Luna and where we’re staying this week, Liechtenstein.

I thought it was a cute story and something others might enjoy.

Three hours later I’ve had Midjourney make illustrations, assembled the book - very roughly - in the ‘Kindle Kids Book Creator’, and it’s now submitted to the Amazon Kindle store.

You can see the ChatGPT prompts here and download the .mobi file here. When it’s live on the Kindle store I believe this link will get you there.

Three hours from a good idea to a low-fi book being published.

Lichtenstein 3D

One of my childhood happy memories was receiving gifts from my Aunty Tracey who lived in Lichtenstein. She was always sending Liechtenstein paraphernalia and propaganda and I was here for it.

For over 30 years I’ve kept this magical vision in my mind of what the richest country per capita on earth would look like.

How safe could a country with no defence force feel? How do you even get to a country that has no airport? How small can the smallest country to win an Olympic medal be? How beautiful could the only country on earth to be completely in the alps be?

Today I got some answers.

P.S. Scroll to the bottom of the post for an awesome 360 photo!

We’re really lucky to be staying near the summits of the mountains, in Malbun, with friends of my aunt (thank you Martina and Markus!), it feels like we’re on the set of a fantastical movie. It’s unbelievably beautiful here.

The two furthest-away boundaries of the entire nation are 25km apart!

Some of the most interesting Lichtenstein facts I know:

  1. Liechtenstein is one of the smallest countries in the world, both in terms of land area and population. It covers just 160 square kilometres, about the physical size of Geelong, with a population of just over 39,000, about the same population as the town of Orange in New South Wales.
  2. It is one of only two countries in the world that are “double landlocked”, which means they are landlocked by countries that are also landlocked. The other is Uzbekistan.
  3. Despite its small size, Liechtenstein is one of the wealthiest countries in the world per capita. The Prince of Lichtenstein, the head bloke, makes $40 mil a month off his own investments and businesses, he doesn’t take a wage or anything like that.
  4. Liechtenstein is the world’s largest exporter of false teeth, specifically for dentures. This is due to the presence of Ivoclar Vivadent, a company that leads the world in false teeth manufacturing. The country is also home to Hilti the construction tools company.
  5. Liechtenstein doesn’t have its own airport or railway system. The nearest airport is in Zurich, Switzerland. For rail, it is served by the Swiss railways.
  6. Liechtenstein is a principality, governed by a constitutional monarch who holds expansive powers, including the ability to veto legislation. It is the last remaining monarchy in the Holy Roman Empire.
  7. Liechtenstein had the highest gross domestic product (GDP) per person in the world, when adjusted by purchasing power parity.
  8. The entire country is invited to the castle of the Prince of Liechtenstein for beer and pretzels on National Day (August 15).
  9. Despite being an independent country, Liechtenstein uses the Swiss Franc as its official currency.
  10. Liechtenstein has one of the lowest crime rates in the world. It has even been reported that the country’s citizens often don’t lock their doors.
  11. Liechtenstein disbanded its army in 1868 because it was too costly. In fact, Switzerland has been responsible for its defence since 1923. The CIA World Factbook for many years incorrectly stated it had a defence budget of $12. It’s actually closer to zero.
  12. The country’s capital, Vaduz, and the region of the Alps, has been recognized as a UNESCO World Heritage site for its stunning alpine beauty.
  13. Liechtenstein is known for its excellent wines. The Prince of Liechtenstein Winery, owned by the princely family, is one of the most famous wineries. I drank one of his beers today and it’s equally delicious.
  14. Despite its location in Central Europe, Liechtenstein managed to remain neutral and was untouched during both World War I and World War II.
  15. There are more businesses registered in Lichtenstein than residents, so most of the residents work in support of these businesses, or in tourism, dentistry, or working for Hilti making tools.

Be curious, not judgmental.

– Walt Whitman

From Apple IIe to AI: Embrace the Wave or Risk Irrelevance

I vividly remember all of my earliest computer experiences. I remember borrowing computer magazines from the school library that contained basic code, and then taking it to the Apple IIe in the back of my classroom. I would spend hours typing in code just to run another program. I also remember building a spreadsheet to help my dad run his business, and printing our own greeting cards with personalised messages on our black-and-white, dot matrix printer.

Even back in the 90s, there was talk of this coming artificial intelligence wave. Funnily enough, my entire experience from the very first day was about artificial intelligence. The simple fact that I could press the letter ‘a’ on a plastic keyboard and then see that letter appear on the computer screen in front of me, or even get printed out by a printer, was, in my humble opinion, a form of artificial intelligence. This might be an oversimplified view, but whether it’s displaying the letter ‘a’ on a computer screen or using ChatGPT, it’s all about computers computing.

In 1999, Bill Gates published a book called ‘Business @ the Speed of Thought’. I read it maybe a year later, and the foundational principles of “using computers for a real purpose” have stuck with me ever since. One idea was that a sandwich shop could use just-in-time ordering for sandwich ingredients based on previous order histories for different days of the week, taking into account seasons, weather, and trends - a task that a computer in 1999 could perform with some effort, but a task a computer in 2023 could handle effortlessly. This resonates with Steve Jobs’s idea that computers are like bicycles for the mind, an idea based on the fact that the fastest and most productive animal on the planet is not a human, but a human on a bicycle.

I think one of the things that really separates us from the high primates is that we’re tool builders. I read a study that measured the efficiency of locomotion for various species on the planet. The condor used the least energy to move a kilometer. And, humans came in with a rather unimpressive showing, about a third of the way down the list. It was not too proud a showing for the crown of creation. So, that didn’t look so good. But, then somebody at Scientific American had the insight to test the efficiency of locomotion for a man on a bicycle. And, a man on a bicycle, a human on a bicycle, blew the condor away, completely off the top of the charts.

This simple principle - that humans are more efficient on a bike, and that the human mind is more efficient when using a computer - has proven true in my life every day for the last 30 years.

Quickly replying to enquiry emails on my iPhone from a toilet cubicle at my last job before becoming self-employed was a key factor in my early success.

That’s my encouragement to anyone skeptical about the 2023 “AI wave”, including ChatGPT, large language models, transformer models, AI, generative art, etc. It’s just what computing is now. Embrace it and exploit it to your benefit. Whether it’s for play or for work, use these technologies to not only stay ahead of the pack, but to keep up with the pack.

A fellow wedding celebrant argued on a post of mine about AI that anyone using this technology should be de-registered. My counter-argument is that any celebrant (or entrepreneur) not using this technology will self de-register within a few years, sinking into irrelevance and inefficiency due to their refusal to adapt.

AI’s right of reply

As an AI developed by OpenAI, I’d like to add that I’m designed to assist and augment human capabilities rather than replace them. In the case of a wedding celebrant, for example, I could help with tasks such as drafting vows or organizing schedules. The idea isn’t to detract from the human element, but rather to enhance it, freeing up time for more personal interactions.

The notion of de-registering those who use AI perhaps stems from a fear of being replaced or a misunderstanding of AI’s role. AIs are tools, much like computers or smartphones, meant to assist humans in various tasks and should be seen as such. Adopting AI and other technological advancements can lead to increased efficiency and enable people to adapt to the fast-paced world we live in. It’s about integrating technology into our lives and work in a way that benefits us all.


View the chat thread with ChatGPT to see how ChatGPT helped me with this post.

I’ll always remember the day I met the late Gold Coast Mayor, Ron Clarke, and he called me Red Dog for no apparent reason.

In 2012 I was newly married. Britt and I had decided to take our wedding business somewhere bigger than 1-2 weddings a year, so we started marketing and building out content.

Every day was so exciting, going from nothing to something.

It feels the same at the moment, after having essentially dropped off the wedding industry map for a year, coming back in I feel like a newcomer.

So getting these kinds of emails is weird and beautiful and terrible and amazing.

Never change, wedding industry.

The fascinating story of Castle Itter and the last European WWII battle

Driving across Austria this week we’ve seen plenty of castles, we even stayed in one, and every sighting of one is pretty special.

There’s one near us which looks very much like a castle, and tonight on our last night in Hopfgarten I found out the history of the castle on Atlas Obscura and it’s the most interesting of stories:

In the final weeks of the European theater of World War II, an unexpected union of German and American forces guarded a select group of abandoned Nazi prisoners against the Waffen-SS. The conflict fought by this unique joint American-German alliance is frequently referred to as the strangest battle of World War II.

Castle Itter was first built in the ninth century by the Bavarians and spent many years as a private residence. In May of 1943, after the Anschluss of Austria, it was transformed into a prison. For two years, French captives considered to be of high value were confined within its walls.

But as Stephen Harding writes in The Last Battle, those prisoners eventually found themselves unguarded and thrust into a precarious position. Days after Hitler died by suicide, it became clear the war had reached a turning point. The commander and warden of the prisoners at Castle Itter abandoned their posts, knowing the end of the war was near. The remaining guards also fled, essentially giving the castle to those imprisoned within.

This left the prisoners vulnerable to the loyal Waffen-SS troops prowling the countryside in search of deserters and enemies of the regime. This is when the strange, unlikely union of German and American forces began. Kurt-Siegfried Schrader, a highly decorated SS Hauptsturmführer and Josef “Sep” Gangl, a Wehrmacht Major, joined Captain John “Jack” Carey Lee, Jr., an American Tank Company Commander, in protecting the prisoners and defending the castle.

Schrader and Gangl had become disillusioned with the Nazi ideology and both independently connected with the Austrian resistance. Upon hearing the prisoners at the castle were unguarded, Schrader went to the fortress to protect those held inside. Gangl, now serving as the head of the local resistance, was aware the forces under his command would not be strong enough to fight against the nearby Waffen-SS troops. He realized he needed the American forces to arrive, so he set off to find them in Kufstein.

Not long after arriving in Kufstein, Gangl met up with Lee and they began plotting. After a reconnaissance mission, Lee and his friend brought their Sherman Tanks to the defend the castle. But along the way, poor infrastructure caused one tank and its crew to be left behind.

Once at the castle, Wehrmacht soldiers and the few Americans prepared for battle. The prisoners were instructed to remain safely in the cellar, but many defied these orders and fought alongside the German and American troops. The stage was now set for the fight.

Between 100 and 150 Waffen-SS troops attacked the castle in the early morning hours of May 5. Though one Wehrmacht soldier abandoned his post during the fighting, the remaining American-German defenses held the prison until more American troops from the 142nd Infantry Regiment arrived 12 hours after the fighting had begun. With the help of the additional American troops, the guards defeated the Waffen-SS in what’s viewed the last battle fought in the European theater of World War II. Gangl sadly perished during the fight.

We’re taking the girls to one of the smallest countries in the world tomorrow, somewhere I’ve known about since I was a very young boy. My aunt lived in Liechtenstein and would send me books, toys, and Lienchtenstein paraphernalia every year for my birthday, I loved it! So, I thought I’d prepare for the trip by asking ChatGPT questions about the country and the journey.

Steve Jobs once described computers as a bicycle for the mind, and ChatGPT is the most powerful example of that so far.

Retiring now

It’s so pleasurable to read lovely and persuasive writing like this

I know that we have ye olde internet, but I think I’d still like to have a physical encyclopaedia at home for our kids. Check out this Ars Technica review, and the cost of a new set!

Watched the sun set into Germany across the German/Austrian border tonight.

There’s no kangaroos in Austria.

You know what’s funny about our time in Austria is that I knew nothing about the country a few weeks ago, my main exposure being when I would be in America or Mexico, introducing myself a an Australian and they’d think I said Austrian and make some stupid comments about how they have always wanted to visit Europe. But thanks to a tip from a friend who recommended renting a car in Vienna because it’s cheaper than Italy, we’re exploring Austria and loving it!

Two more sleeps til Liechtenstein!!

Travelling with children advice

I was asked recently about advice for travelling with young children.

My family including our now 4.5 and 2 year olds, left home almost a year ago and I have this advice: after about 37 accomodations and eight countries.

  • Travel light. Lighter than you think. Bring as little stuff as possible.
  • Lots of snacks. More than you think you need.
  • Make iPad/TV shows a special treat. Fish out the special treat when necessary for sanity or social goodwill like in a line, stuck in a train or plane cabin, or a restaurant.
  • Discipline your kids lovingly, positively, and well in private so they are awesome humans when in public.
  • Teach your kids to be bored and look out the window.
  • Figure out what kind of daily sleep/wake/activity routine or schedule works best for your kids and run with it so that all of you have a good day and you’re not dragging your kids through a hike they were never going to enjoy.
  • Expect to see and do far less things than you imagined. If we do one travel or touristy thing a day that’s a win. Two is a big day. Three is a mistake.
  • When in lines at immigration or other important things, and they’re really unhappy, just grin and bare it. It’s a few minutes of everyone’s life, we’ll all be fine, and all the other assholes around you have been expecting the tantrum anyway. If people look at us or comment on a tantrum, I just joke about it like “sorry, she just learned about taxes” or “sorry, this is my first abduction and it’s not really going well.”
  • Teach your kids their names, ages, and your names so that when police come for you after you make a joke about abductions you can prove they’re yours. Make sure they know not to joke about who their parents are and what their names are.
  • Bring extra dummies/soothers.
  • We swear by the Phil & Ted’s Travel Cot version 5. Not sponsored. We’ve tried the rest, the Bugaboo is awesome, Phil & Ted’s is better.
  • We also swear by the BabyZen YoYo and/or the Baby Jogger City Tour travel prams. The rest are not as good. Not sponsored. But come on guys, send us money.
  • When boarding flights ask the staff where to “put the kids” as if you’re expecting them to not sit with you. Say it with a straight face, and kind of hold the child out toward the staff, gesturing that they can take them now.
  • Book accomodation that is walkable to public transport and parks. Nothing else in your life matters more than a good playground. Also look for accomodation with cooking facilities, you’re going to want to cook at home.
  • Whatever you order for them at a restaurant will not be good enough so share meals. Encourage them to try new foods. Our mantra is that you can’t say you don’t like something if you haven’t tried it yet.
  • Almost all long queues can be skipped if you are a family, or if you accidentally go down the not-foreign-passport line, or if your kids has a tantrum. Turn that lemon into line-skipping lemonade.
  • I’ve got VLC installed on my phone with a series of old school TV shows offline like Franklin the Turtle. Old school slow TV shows are better than the visual cocaine that modern kids shows are. Damn you, Paw Patrol.
  • Take a million photos. Sync them with iCloud Photo Library so when you drop your phone in the Mediterranean Sea you’re not devastated. Buy disposable film cameras for the kids to make them feel involved.
  • Each of our girls has a plush snuggle toy that has come with them the whole journey. When you’re changing accomodation every few days a common smell and feel is a godsend.
  • I’m lucky to have travelled so much with Qantas that I have a Qantas Platinum status which gets us more luggage and airport lounges with OneWorld airlines worldwide, this is so good with kids. Everyone in the Oneworld First Class Lounge thinks they’re having a fancy aviation with champagne moment but then in runs my two year old ready to bring hell. It’s my favourite part of every flight.
  • Snacks. Water. Lots of snacks.
  • My kids like to play with tape so we have random coloured kid’s sticky tape for them to play with on flights. The water-painting kits for kids are awesome, they come with a water “brush” and it reacts with the board, so they think they’re painting but it’s zero mess apart from some water. So many books as well, we’ll buy, read, and donate books regularly.
  • Sleep. So much sleep.
  • There’s no greater experience than allowing your kids to sulk in different cultural settings.
  • I use the Anker 4-port chargers and buy the figure 8 lead for the appropriate country, then make sure everything we own is USB chargeable.

These experiences and memories will be priceless. Be in the moment for them all.

Cuddling Goldie after a late night diaper change and I was contemplating how she and Luna have slept under almost 37 roofs since we left home in September and we have seven left. Some kids won’t go to the bathroom outside of home, but these kids just take it all in their stride. I’m a proud dad.

Driving through Mondsee (Moon Lake)

Blue skies and tailwinds makes for a good day in the office/Mavic 3 at Drachenwand (in English, Dragon Wall).

I’m not sure I’ll ever feel an emotion stronger than what I felt when I saw this #iykyk

There’s a campaign to update the Australian Marriage Act of 1961 and every letter to a Federal Member of Parliament helps move the needle on getting the legislation changed and updated.

Your help is welcomed/begged-for.

www.marriageact.plus

Views of and from and above Lake Wolfgang, near Salzburg, Austria

David Cain in Everything Must Be Paid for Twice:

If you look around your home, you might notice many possessions for which you’ve paid the first price but not the second. Unused memberships, unread books, unplayed games, unknitted yarns.

I’m at a cafe in Pöggstall, middle of nowhere, Austria, and next to me are two elderly couples loudly discussing the issues of the world in German.

After an hour or so of me having no idea what they’re on about, one, mid-sentence says “Netflix, Paramount, Disney, Apple, Prime” then sighs.

Nice to know that monthly costs of streaming TV is a global, multigenerational, problem.

We flew into Vienna two days ago and didn’t even go into the city, but straight out into the hills, which despite their beauty, they are not filled with music. Unless I’m deaf?

But they are filled with the most wonderful little Austrian villages, like Pöggstall.

An important note from a local store

Tonight’s AirBnb is 770 years in the making: Pöggstall Castle, in Lower Austria.

Our 35th accomodation since we left home last August. Honestly thinking that Britt and I could bring some value to AirBnb consulting, there’s only a little bit of effort between a great Airbnb and a poor one.

Who wins the MS Publisher 2023 wars? Canva? The new Adobe Express? Microsoft Designer?

It must be lovely to be proud of where you're from

I imagine it would feel rather nice to be proud of the part of your story that you didn’t really have any choice in. The country you were born in, the state, the region. The people group you were raised in. Parents and the generations that preceded you, your family, your heritage, your culture.

I imagine that if you were so blessed to be of good stock, then you’d probably be delicate and defensive when that story comes under fire - whether it’s comedy or outright slander.

I imagine that’s why I’ve upset friends and lost social media klout this week after joking about the UK and how it didn’t meet the hype, in my ever so humble opinion.

Friends and strangers let me know how they felt about it, and it honestly left me stunned. But as I watched the changing of the guard at Buckingham Palace yesterday it all fell into place for me. These people, Brits, people who like the Brits, people who love London and the UK, all this pomp and bullshit from the royals to the status quo is an essential part of their story. It’s who they are this external force of nature.

You dare make a joke about London, and you’re attacking their identity.

I see myself as blessed because I know exactly who I am. I’m the Gold Coast born, Central Queensland raised white boy born with colonial blood, entering the world not into the lands of my people but someone else’s land. Born of convict blood, sent from England to the stolen land down under generations ago. I’m the abandoned son, a homeless teen, who got by the only way available to him, working.

My birthplace, my country, my people, they don’t know me. There is a small group of friends and family who stand with me, but we could fill a minivan. If I was to die tomorrow my funeral would be a lovely occasion for the small group attending. They’re a good lot.

But my culture, my family, my tribe is a single generation old, my generation. With my wife I have drawn a line in the sand and said it ends with me. Britt and I, we’re starting new.

I also know how few people read my words or see my art. I’m no Shakespeare or Monet.

I have nothing to be precious of but my wife and children, my work, my words and my art, my relationships and my reputation.

Make a funny joke about them and I’d probably push back hard as well.

Our pilot wanted to give us the full Heathrow tour. Never go full Heathrow.

Adios, Heathrow

The Withers family has done London

David Whyte:

The ultimate touchstone of friendship is not improvement, neither of the other nor of the self, the ultimate touchstone is witness, the privilege of having been seen by someone and the equal privilege of being granted the sight of the essence of another, to have walked with them and to have believed in them, and sometimes just to have accompanied them for however brief a span, on a journey impossible to accomplish alone.

Did you know that the Windows XP Bliss wallpaper was photographed in Sonoma? The same Sonoma this year’s macOS is named after.

People seeing the iMac, then iPod, MacBook, iPhone, iPad, Apple Watch, AirPods, and then Apple Vision, on day one: it’s stupid, not for me, too expensive, I’ll never buy it.

People seeing the iMac, then iPod, MacBook, iPhone, iPad, Apple Watch, AirPods, and then Apple Vision, five years later: yes, please, shut up and take my money.

London is a fascinating place where Big Tea™️ has convinced an entire population that garbage water is a valid hot drink.

Everyone speaks in a cute and fake-sounding British accent, whilst real people actually travel on the public transport which accepts the Apple Express Transit Card feature.

AirBnbs are priced like Paris but unlike Paris, London is in England, which is far less fancy than France. Here, they drive on the left side of the road but walk on the right side of the path, and there’s this forced politeness in the air like if you’re not polite you’ll get stabbed. Who knew Jack The Ripper could have left such a lasting impression on culture.

The people are quite proud of their flag, so much so that I could definitely imagine them sailing to other countries and giving them free British flags in exchange for the rights to the whole country.

Despite their global shirt-fronting and general we-think-we’re-cool dispositions, the people of London either commute longer than they actually work, or they live impoverished and close to the famed series of Tubes, spending their final quids on beer or denying that Europe is a cool place.

Brits have influenced more culture in my life than I’d care to admit, but I’m still not sure it’s better than their penal colony I call home.

Long live King Chuck, God knows the bunting and signage stockists and manufacturers couldn’t handle the demand for at least another few years.

Mum to kid (about 4) trying to get him to do something: … or someone’s going to be very upset with you.

Kid, loudly, in the sweetest British accent: well someone is a fucking idiot aren’t they?

Every parent in the playground just bursts out in laughter.

I needed help planning the month ahead’s travel, having not been off the beaten track too much in Europe, so I engaged everyone’s favourite help, ChatGPT. Check out the chat transcript to see how I got to this itinerary.

British things

Come together, right now

Hey Britain, why did you all get so excited about leaving Europe but still walk on the right hand side of the footpath?

Everyone’s talking about augmented reality at WWDC but no-one’s talking about sharing bodily liquid movements.

Come on Apple. Let me share more bodily liquid stats with my friends.

I’d like a 2023 version of Piano Man where Paul, the real estate novelist, upskills to writing prompts for ChatGPT, John the bartender starts a TikTok, and Billy Joel is sampling in Serato.

185 million views on Unsplash, 19 million views on Pexels, and I’ve just sold my first photo from my print store. Don’t rush and twist an ankle, there’s no queue at https://art.josh.withers.co.

Don’t tell anyone but the opening of track six on the new Foo Fighters album had me thinking that there was a Taylor Swift collab inside. It’s ok, it was Nothing At All.

I made a Steve Jobs chatbot based on the book Make Something Wonderful and asked him how he would bring AR glasses to market.

“… and we’re calling it iVision!”

Luna’s following in my footsteps!

By being a radio broadcaster to an unprofitably small audience.

Remember that classic scene from Notting Hill where Hugh Grant and Julia Roberts' characters meet at a travel bookstore and then get a doughnut from that Brisbane doughnut chain?

Overcast and 14 degrees Celsius and the Britts are so sure it’s good weather that there’s a kid at the park in their swimmers.

London things

WordPress just turned 20 years old, which means I’ve been using it for different projects for a smidge under 20 years.

My memory is that I was about to use b2/cafelog for a project and someone told me to try this new fork, WordPress.

Cheers for making the web better, WordPress!

Luna, who considers herself royalty, wanted to present at the king’s house

Someone call the fire brigade

Maggi Hambling:

It is not difficult to make a work of art, the difficulty lies in being in the right state to do it.

Withers on film in Hawaii

Withers on film at the TWA Hotel.

Man, I loved this hotel!

Withers in Mexico.

I found an undeveloped roll of film from our time in Baja California Sur. Missing Cerritos Beach!

Withers in Paris on 35mm film

What is, and isn’t, AI/artificial intelligence?

Is displaying the letter a on a computer screen, or printing it to paper with a printer, by pressing the a key on a keyboard artificial intelligence?

Every leg of this journey we drop a bag. We’re down three suitcases so far.

At this stage when we come home to Australia in August we’ll be backpackers.

Paris 🚄🚇 London

Bought Luna her first camera, the Hyundai Excel of first cameras: a Nikon point and shoot.

I believe that my kids should save for their first Canon but I’m happy to pay for their potato camera.

She called us to the church house, gin house, school house, and outhouse. She called us to the Nutbush City limits from the wedding dance floors of Australia to a little old town in Tennessee.

She was, simply the best dance floor filler.

She is the Queen of Rock, the Empress of Soul.

Here’s to the diva, Tina Turner.

AI is genuinely exciting and terrifying but most of us nerds have been thinking about it and talking about it for 30 years.

This is Steve Jobs in 1983:

…when the next Aristotle comes around, maybe if he carries around one of these machines with him his whole life—his or her whole life—and types in all this stuff, then maybe someday, after this person’s dead and gone, we can ask this machine, “Hey, what would Aristotle have said? What about this?” And maybe we won’t get the right answer, but maybe we will. And that’s really exciting to me. And that’s one of the reasons I’m doing what I’m doing.

If you ever want to hate yourself you should try writing a book, then editing the book, and then reading it.

AI is super interesting to me

A terrifying argument for paper voting in voting booths from Ready Player One:

Besides, now that everyone could vote from home, via the OASIS, the only people who could get elected were movie stars, reality TV personalities, or radical televangelists.

Do dogs understand elevators or are they just like ‘Ok it’s time to get into the world changer’?

(via @ronnui_ on Twitter via the Dense Discovery email)

Hawaii versus Paris

I

Imagine being as big as a failure as Yahoo

Dan Shipper in The Unreasonable Effectiveness of 1-1 Learning:

One of the most famous studies in educational psychology found that students who learned through 1-1 tutoring performed two sigma—98%—better than students who learned through a traditional classroom environment.

Just found out that Metallica played a concert across town last night and there were tickets available. I had Australian tickets for their Covid-cancelled concert. This is the most disappointed I’ve been since we left Australia!

Film’s not dead.

On arrival to a film lab at 3pm on a Friday in Paris there’s like seven people ahead of me and three behind me pretty quickly.

If publishers paid as much attention to how their articles were experienced by readers as newspaper editors used to, maybe they wouldn’t be going broke?

“Non-smoking Garden of Eden”

As Moses wrote in the book of Genesis, the Lord God made to spring up every tree that is pleasant to the sight and good for food except for tobacco.

A mum playing Frozen on her phone for her daughter at the playground is super confused as to why every other kid at the playground is up in her grill right now.

Watching 1980s Inspector Gadget with Luna this morning and I never realised how much Gadget influenced my life. All I ever wanted was Penny’s computer book, Gadget’s computer watch, and being accepted for being basically useless in society saved only by the woman by your side every time.

Am I a man or a muppet?

Sitting in a park in Paris watching my kids play I was struck by the idea that at age 41, married for almost 11 years, with two children, that I’m possibly an adult now.

Which probably sounds weird to anyone familiar with the concept of becoming an adult in our society somewhere between puberty and 21.

But I think we lack something in modern society - I know I lacked it in my childhood - that would not only help the 41 year old so know that they’re adults but also help all of us take ownership of our lives. Help us understand that you can either make your life or let someone or something else make it for you. Help us take responsibility for our lives, our families, and our futures.

It’s ceremony.

We shy away from it, not wanting to celebrate birthdays or anniversaries in public, or for some of us we even deny our age. We minimise weddings and engagements saying we don’t want to be the centre of attention - and this is even worse in Australia where tall poppy syndrome rears its ugly head stopping us from celebrating our achievements in life. I even hear it from people who, when they find out I’m a wedding celebrant, proudly tell me how they just went to the registry office and didn’t have a wedding.

For hundreds of generations we have celebrated milestones and achievements with ceremony and feasting.

It’s how we know where we have been, where we are, and where we’re going.

I believe ceremony is important. It’s why I’m a marriage celebrant.

Good ceremony is where we stop, collaborate, and listen. A moment for us to speak truths, smile, laugh, draw near, and share.

I hope you find the time to stop and celebrate something this week.

Evidence that the world’s first mobile phone was probably French

Excited to share another chapter of the book today:

I still distinctly remember the day after getting engaged and Britt’s aunty called with thoughts on which horse-drawn carriage company we should use for our wedding. This was odd to me because in 2012 I had been creating weddings for over two years yet I had not even conceived of the idea that once I asked Britt to marry me that we would then proceed to a wedding.

None of the current large language models/artificial intelligences understand the concept of months, or calendar months, or leap years.

So I’m sure everything is going to work out just fine.

Look, AI is great and everything, but I think we’re going to be ok

What a wonderful time to be alive: malicious-content.zip

Photos I made yesterday in Paris

I stacked a Lime scooter an hour ago to make this photo of this local tower in Paris so you better like it or share it or comment or something so my aching shin is healed by the algorithms that control our emotional well-being.

The not her damn of paris - still under construction

The Brisbane Story Bridge of Paris is what they call it

Parisian things

Fourteen

The 14th of May is my celebrant anniversary and today in 2023 I begin my 15th year creating awesome marriage ceremonies for adventurous couples who really really like each other and believe that getting married matters.

They say time is the best teacher so with 14 years a wedding celebrant, 41 years 5 months a human, 10 years 8 months a husband, 4 years 6 months a father, 3 years 1 month a silver fox, 32 years 2 months a computer nerd, 6 years 1 month a Qantas Platinum Frequent Flyer, 7 days a Parisian, and 24 years 10 months as best kitchen cleaner home medalist in my home state, ask me anything.

Paris’s final metre

You’ve heard of the final mile. This is the final metre.

Up until 1791 they’d been measuring things without any care for a standard, much like the USA today, but then the French astronomers Delambre and Méchain measured 10 millionths of the distance from the North Pole to the Equator through a Paris meridian, and then the government of the day installed 16 demonstrator metres around the city.

This is the last one in its original installation. There’s one other that’s been moved so who even knows if it’s legit ¯_(ツ)_/¯

Milton Glaser:

You feel differently towards the world when you make things.

Apple Shortcut for recording photography metadata

I’m passionate about making photos, but I have a sub-passion in recording good metadata around those photos as they enter my iCloud Photo Library so the photos become more useful as they age. Whether they are used in Photo Memories, like “Paris 2023” and “Early Mornings with Luna”, or whether I want to search on the Photo’s “Places” function to find that photo I made ten years ago, the metadata is important to me.

When I shoot on my iPhone, the metadata is collected (normally), and if I have remembered to force quit and re-open the Canon Camera Connect app that day, when I shoot on my Canon EOS R5 the metadata is recorded, but if I shoot on Britt’s Fujifilm digital camera or my Leica film camera, no metadata is recorded by the camera.

In the before times people used notepads with pens, which is a lovely prospect, but I have an iPhone in my pocket and a Watch on my wrist. So I made an Apple Shortcut that will record the metadata in time and in place for later use, either with an EXIF editor or my personal go-to app, Metapho on the iPhone. (If you know of a Metapho competitor I’d be keen to hear it, I like Metapho but it feels forgotten by the developer and is sometimes buggy)

So these shortcuts will simply make a new Apple Note for the day if there isn’t one already and record time and place, or if you use the second shortcut that dictates a note, also that text note.

Record photography location Shortcut

Record photography location and notes Shortcut

I activate them either by tapping the home screen icon which is easy, or by asking Siri to “Record photography location”.

Feel free to use, edit, mix, re-make, and share as you find useful and beneficial for the art of making photography.

Much gratitude to Kyle Lines in the Automators Forum for helping me get the shortcuts over the line and useful for the greater population.

I think this is the great pyramid of France

Introducing, an eye full tower.

Built for the 1889 World’s Fair only to be upstaged 99 years later at 1988 World Expo by the Brisbane Sky Needle.

When you order an americano with ‘some cold milk on the side’ in Paris

Stumbled into a second-hand-camera/new-Leica store in Paris and accidentally left with a Leica film camera after swiping my credit card. Oops.

Play

Luna Withers, art critic

Paris’s NFT Factory

I stumbled across and subsequently visited an NFT art gallery in Paris today whilst walking the streets with Luna and trying to escape the rain. The art curated inside was wild and beautiful, and a joy to take in, but I also had the opportunity to talk to the curator who shared openly about their business model and passion for showcasing, sharing, and encouraging art.

They typically curate the pieces showcased but they have open weeks where creators can buy a spot on the wall, and other weeks creators can rent the whole gallery.

I’m still trying to figure out how my art works and matters in the world - besides giving it away for free on Unsplash and Pexels - but after visiting the gallery today I’m convinced that NFTs will have life and purpose long after the cryptobros move their hype engine somewhere else.

I even picked up a piece that Luna loved.

It would be amazing to see my photos on a wall like that.

My favourite thing to do in the big cities of the world is to ignore the must-do lists, the must-see places, the hotspots and the icons, and to just walk around and exist in a different big city. Walking down random streets, getting bad coffee at little-known cafes, and finding the unseen parts of a city. The towers, cathedrals, arches and museums are cool and we inevitably end up there. But there’s something really interesting to me about experiencing another people’s normal.

The playlist in the French cafe I’m sitting in just went from contemporary hits to one of the songs from Star Wars. Wild taste here.

The genesis story of Apple computers

I’ve been thinking about this story from Steve Jobs, recalled in 1996 and told in the new book Make Something Wonderful, about how and why he and Steve Wozniak started Apple:

The reason we (Woz and I) built a computer was that we wanted one, and we couldn’t afford to buy one. They were thousands of dollars at that time. We were just two teenagers. We started trying to build them and scrounging parts around Silicon Valley where we could. After a few attempts, we managed to put together something that was the Apple I. All of our friends wanted them, too. They wanted to build them. It turned out that it took maybe fifty hours to build one of these things by hand. It was taking up all of our spare time because our friends were not that skilled at building them, so Woz and I were building them for them.

We thought if we could just get what’s called a printed circuit board, where you could just plug in the parts instead of having to hand-wire the whole thing, we could cut the assembly time down from maybe fifty hours to more like an hour. Woz sold his HP calculator, and I sold my VW Microbus, and we got enough money together to pay someone to design one of these printed circuit boards for us. Our goal was to just sell them as raw printed circuit boards to our friends and make enough money to recoup our calculator and transportation.

What happened was that one of the early computer stores, in fact, the first computer store in the world, which was in Mountain View at the time, said, “Well, I’ll take fifty of these computers, but I want them fully assembled.” Which was a twist that we’d never thought of.

We went and bought the parts to build one hundred computers. We built fifty of them and delivered them. We got paid in cash and ran back and paid the people that sold us parts. Then we had the classic Marxian profit realization crisis, which was our profit wasn’t liquid—it was in fifty computers sitting on the floor.

We decided we had to start learning about sales and distribution so that we could sell the fifty computers and get back our money. That’s how we got in the business. We took our idea (for the computer) to a few companies, one where Woz worked (Hewlett-Packard) and one where I worked at the time (Atari). Neither one was interested in pursuing it, so we started our own company.

I’m interviewing newly appointed marriage celebrants for a podcast project at the moment and some don’t have a fire in their belly as to why they started. Their genesis story is missing some heart and soul. I think about them and whether they have staying power like the two Steves who just built computers because they wanted one. That early fire is valuable.

12 Ancient Greek Terms that Should Totally Make a Comeback

Aidos was actually the Greek goddess of shame, modesty, respect, and humility. Aidos, as a quality, was that feeling of reverence or shame which restrains men and women from wrong. It also encompassed the emotion that a rich person might feel in the presence of the impoverished, that their disparity of wealth, whether a matter of luck or merit, was ultimately undeserved.

My review and photos of the TWA Hotel at JFK Airport

Let me spin you a yarn about my favourite airport hotel, the TWA Hotel at JFK Airport in New York. This hotel is a real beauty, with a great story behind it.

Once upon a time, in the golden era of air travel, TWA - Trans World Airlines - was a big shot in the aviation world. Their Flight Center at JFK Airport, designed by the legendary architect Eero Saarinen, was the bee’s knees when it opened in 1962. It was a true symbol of the Jet Age, with its swooping lines, massive windows, and ultra-modern interiors. But, like so much technology - particularly aviation technology - it was practically obsolete by the time it opened with the Lockheed Constellation it was planned to accommodate being swiftly replaced by jetliners. TWA sadly went belly up in January 2001 and was acquired by American Airlines, who then made most of the staff redundant later that year as September 11 left a dent in the air travel market.

For years the iconic TWA Flight Center sat empty, gathering dust and waiting for someone to give it a new lease on life. Enter MCR Development, who had the idea to turn the old bird into a swanky hotel. So, in 2018 they restored the Flight Center to its former glory and added two hotel wings with 512 guest rooms.

The building

Eero Saarinen is one of the great architects of the twentieth century and although the TWA Hotel is a little different to the TWA Flight Center Saarinen designed, it’s still got the Eero blood running through its entire fuselage.

Inside

Connie

There’s a fully restored 1958 Lockheed Constellation aeroplane called “Connie” that’s been repurposed as a cocktail lounge, where you can sip on a cold one and dream about the good ol' days. The original Flight Centre was designed to serve Constellations but as quickly as TWA put them into service and the terminal started putting passengers aboard jet planes started replacing them.

The Connie was a plane at the right place but at the wrong time.

Connie was even hosting a wedding the day I was there.

The pool

The rooftop pool at the hotel is a major attraction, firstly because it’s a pool at JFK, secondly because of the view, thirdly because on cold days it’s heated like a jacuzzi, and finally because you can sip a cocktail in a jacuzzi warm pool with your kids watching Emirates Airbus A380s land and taxi so close that you could throw a stone at the captain.

The actual hotel stay

Our inbound flight to JFK from San Diego arrived at 7am, and we had a midnight flight out to Paris, so we booked an 8am to 8pm day rate that cost $249 USD which at the time was cheaper than overnight, and cheaper than two overnights which is what we’d need to book at a regular hotel to allow for an 8am to 8pm stay.

The food was actually really good. We generally don’t dine at airport hotel restaurants because their quality is usually poor and the price high, because they know they have you cornered. The Paris Cafe food however was really really good.

The front-of-house service however was poor. The housekeeping staff were beyond friendly and lovely, but the people at reception and front of the house in food and beverage service really made us feel like we’d ruined their day.

So, there you have it, the story and photos of the TWA Hotel at JFK Airport. It’s a testament to the spirit of innovation and the importance of preserving the USA’s architectural gems. If you’re ever in the Big Apple, it’s worth checking out this iconic piece of American aviation history.

If you see my travel photos and think they’d look cool on your walls, I sell fine art prints, framed fine art prints, and canvas wraps in my online store.

Please buy a print so Luna and Goldie can afford the good croissants in Paris this week ahead, not the cheap ones dad thinks they should have.

44 hours door to door, Kona to Paris. Godspeed, us, with a four and two year old.

Ever since Twitter started falling on its face I’ve tried so many contenders, Mastodon, T2, BlueSky, Nostr, and I’ve been on micro.blog for years already and love if there, but Wavelength is the only place I’ve seen community, engagement, joy, and fun.

I can still remember my ICQ number 25 years on (49739400) but I can’t remember the joke about remembering my ICQ number

Why Nick Cave is attending the King’s Coronation:

I am not a monarchist, nor am I a royalist, nor am I an ardent republican for that matter; what I am also not is so spectacularly incurious about the world and the way it works, so ideologically captured, so damn grouchy, as to refuse an invitation to what will more than likely be the most important historical event in the UK of our age. Not just the most important, but the strangest, the weirdest.

The Withers family in the island of Hawaiʻi

🗿

🔱

Some feelings of the Big Island of Hawaii, or the Island of Hawaiʻi, or Hawaiʻi Island, or Big Island, or Kona, or Hawaii County, or just Hawaii. I don’t really know how to refer to this landmass tbh.

Unkept looking bloke who’s loudly mumbling to himself and is scaring the parents at the playground he’s circling because he looks like an addiction that hasn’t showered in a few days, says to me “weird day man, weird day” and gives me a cheeky grin.

Weird day.

If you’ve ever been the first guy to map parts of Australia and New Zealand, to witness the transit of Venus so ya bois in the lab could figure out how far earth is from the sun, or named an Aussie state, then this memorial marks the place some Hawaiians murdered you because they don’t take kindly to colonisers here.

Sitting in a Starbucks in Kona just now and a family of four Brits fresh off the Quantum of the Seas cruise ship which just arrived in town. That’s the ship that lost a passenger overboard 1400km south of here. Apparently the person’s nickname/codename onboard the ship is “Old Mate”. I guess this is what it feels like to be a minority.

Harry Belafonte finally met Mister Tally Man and had his banana’s tallied.

James Tylor and Matt Chun in the ANZAC Myth:

The Australian government has fabricated a nationalist mythology around the invasion of Gelibolu Yarımadası (Gallipoli), telling a story of heroism and sacrifice.

The saddest part about Elon Musk screwing up Twitter and Twitter Blue is that the Internet needs to install a values system where we understand things have a cost and Twitter shouldn’t be free.

But now paying $8 for Twitter is a meme, not an exercise in human betterment.

I’ve been saying crap on the internet and into microphones connected to radio and TV towers for 20 years next year, it’s a miracle that the most scandalous thing I’ve done is MAFS series one.

I need help with panoramic images made with my DJI Mavic 3 drone. The camera itself stitches the images together but the stitch is never great. So it saves the 25 individual images, but Photoshop and Lightroom can never deal with them well. What software can help with this?

For Polkadot Wedding’s Planning Issue this month I wrote an article on choosing a wedding reading and also how you don’t need one so if you have one, let it have purpose.

Well, count me surprised and dumbfounded /s that this weird crap is happening on Spotify.

Stumbled across this fascinating story of Little Richard being in Australia in 1957, seeing the Russian satellite Sputnik in the sky and thinking the world was going to end so he takes the stage to preach the gospel at his concert instead of performing so the promoter offered refunds.

My first tweet was tweeted 18 months before I even started tweeting

I’ve been reminiscing over Twitter this week, wondering what the last tweet will be amongst other things as Space Karen prepares to take away the verification tick on my profile that proves I am who I am, a tick gifted to me from my time in the media in Australia.

I started my current Twitter account in October 2009 but I was sure that I had an account before then so I went searching and searching and searching and found it: March 2008, @1073brekky.

In 2008 I scored my first paid breakfast radio gig: the morning show on 107.3 FM on the Gold Coast (at the time called 1073fm but now called Juice FM). I’d been training and prepping for this role for five years and was so keen. I was also a bread-and-butter kind of computer nerd, so ideally my non-nerdy radio show would have some nerdy elements. In 2008 the breakfast guy didn’t get access to the website - they probably still don’t today - so I wanted to find a way to post short updates to the website. Something inside of me felt like the internet might be a thing one day so it would be good to use it early. I’ve got so many stories about being the nerdiest and most future-thinking guy in the radio station that it broke my heart so many times to be honest.

I had heard things about this service in the USA called Twitter that had heralded a new kind of web publishing, micro-blogging. You could send updates to the service and they could appear in a website widget. I signed up, got the code to the web developer and before you know it, I could post updates to my show website! I didn’t care so much for the Tweeting, the replying, or the broadcasting. I just wanted to blog on my radio station website and the CRM didn’t allow blogging or micro-blogging or anything of the like.

Twitter solved my problem and I’m sure my problem was never in any of their minimum-viable product meetings.

About two months later I quit the station because at the time it was honestly a terrible place a human with a soul could want to work, but fifteen years on I only have good memories from my first breakfast show, my first Twitter account, and my experiences being unleashed on the Gold Coast community on the radio.

I’m working on a new business that is a web service - a mobile/desktop web app with video and audio upload components + email. I’ve never directly hired devs for this kind of project before. What kind of web dev language and tech should I be asking for in 2023?

I was moved to hear of Father Bob’s passing. I’ve never met or talked to a crankier, lovelier, old bloke who was thoroughly and passionately focused on loving and caring for humans without personal gain or agenda.

When I think about being Christ-like, I think of Bob.

Many publicly-known priests and ministers are loved by church leadership whilst being in the news for scandal and crime, while Bob was hated by church leadership whilst in the news for loving the outcasts of society.

I’d rather die a man lambasted by church leaders and known as a friend to outcasts, the downtrodden, the forgotten, the least of our society. That’s who Bob was.

Shared my nerd bio in my NerdyBio interview

Everything that was old and awesome becomes new and terrible, whist still whipping the llama’s ass.

My “Batman only exists because of 9/11” theory

I have a theory: today in 2023, we have a Batman because terrorists flew airplanes into the World Trade Centre towers in New York City, a.k.a Gotham City.

My premise is that timing of My Chemical Romance’s Welcome To The Black Parade’s release influenced Robert Pattison’s Batman at an influential age and made him the Bruce Wayne portrayed in the 2022 film, The Batman.

The 2022 Batman was born in 1991 or 1992, making him “about 30” when the movie was released.

The Batman’s parents died in 2001 (possibly 2002), the year that terrorists flew into the World Trade Towers and changed the world forever. One such change being that Gerard Way formed the band My Chemical Romance in response to the attacks. The other obvious infliction point here is that the death of Thomas and Martha Wayne is the motivation for young Bruce to become Vengeance personified.

In 2006 when The Batman was about 15 or 16 ‘Welcome To The Black Parade’ was released. Bruce is still rattled by his parent’s murders, growing up a young boy trying to figure out who he is and what his purpose is.

Your teenage years and the music you listen to through those years are formative to who you are and the music you love.

Look at some of My Chemical Romance’s lyrics from the Black Parade:

When I was a young boy, My father took me into the city, To see a marching band. He said, “Son, when you grow up, Would you be the savior of the broken, The beaten and the damned?” He said, “Will you defeat them? Your demons, and all the non-believers, The plans that they have made?” “Because one day, I’ll leave you a phantom…

Cut to 2022 in film, The Batman

“They think I am hiding in the shadows, but I am the shadows.”

Bruce Wayne is the Batman we know in 2022 because of 9/11.

Goldie, who just turned two, just buckled up her own airplane seat and is patiently awaiting takeoff whilst playing peek-a-boo with three different strangers and babbling to her neighbour.

So yeah, I think she’s doing ok developmentally.

Nashville, Tennessee ✈️ Phoenix, Arizona ✈️ Kona, Big Island of Hawaiʻi

The news is incentivised to be broken and terrible

I was a media and news man for over a decade, I loved being - what I considered to be - an important part of the community, telling its stories and keeping the community informed, safe, and entertained.

But the industry isn’t doing well.

The second story on news.com.au today is about a Fox News story about a recent TikTok that went viral, which the newsdesk found out about through a Twitter user sharing the TikTok in three parts, and the TikTok was just a replay of a Youtube clip from a radio show four years ago.

Serendipitously the original clip and radio show was broadcast about one kilometre from where I type this in Franklin, Tennessee, but there’s no good reason for Australia’s national news website - news.com.au - to publish this as a second story today. That the second most important story in Australia today is a four year old viral video is an insult to the wealth of stories Australia has to tell, and the global stories it could engage with.

Yes, it gets the clicks. Yes, it’s actually an important story inside the video, be debt free. But from a professional storytelling point of view it’s embarrassing for the news.com.au staff. Even the actual article is poorly written and just lazy.

This is the downfall of society, our storytellers are poorly incentivised to do good work, and over incentivised to do work that gets clicks that advertisers want even though no-one is clicking the ads.

Will, a mate of mine has written and released a guide on working in film and television production, something he’s an expert in.

I thought readers of my blog might appreciate the book if they or people they knew aspired to work in film production (it’s a great and personal read, even for me, an old man without film and TV aspirations), but also, they’d enjoy this excerpt about what technology you should own and be proficient in before you start as a production assistant.

“Seriously, people will look at you like you have three heads as you drag that eighty-pound hunk of plastic with the extended numerical keyboard from your bag and plop it on the desk.”

If you, or someone you know, wants a start in the film and TV production industry Will’s the book is a must-purchase and must-read - and it’s now on Kindle.

Because I’m a man-child I wanted to share my two of my favourite photos from photographing the horse sanctuary in Baja

I’m pretty sure I know enough old nerds who would enjoy this purely for the nostalgia.

Reckon we could get the ChatGPT guys to spend an an afternoon working on spam filtering?

Once all the adults admit that they don’t know what a conservatory is we’ll finally get world peace

Bad news for plastic kitchen good lovers, Tupperware is about to go broke. Turns out they were about seven decades too early on the influencer marketing trend.

Six months a gringo and no bad days

Six months ago to the day we arrived in Baja California Sur without even knowing that’s what B.C.S. stood for in our hotel’s address as we filled out the entry cards.

Six months on I have a wealth of stories that I feel odd about sharing. Most of them are about how different it is in Mexico compared to Australia. Who knew?! But I can’t find a way to tell the stories without admitting that they were witnessed through my own lens of how the world should be. Paved roads, hot and strong coffee, tacos with proteins other than seafood in them, and the story about the story about George Clooney the bartender told me, all really don’t matter, unless we’re a few whiskies deep around a campfire. It’s different here, not all roads are paved, and gringoes like me have been walking in for years wondering why things here aren’t like home.

The truth is that Mexico is jam-packed with amazing people. We’ve never felt safer and we love it here.

My one takeaway today is that in six months I’ve seen about six clouds. Baja really lived up to its slogan: no bad days.

Our last Baja sunset for a while

Our last day in Baja

Last day of school for the girls in Baja

Never forget the French dancing plague of the summer of 1518.

Charlie Munger on how the world actually works:

Show me the incentive and I will show you the outcome.

I’ve thought about these three points pretty much every hour of every day since I first read it three days ago in James Clear’s 3-2-1 email

The future of content: video of someone watching a video of someone who wrote a song about their low self esteem sponsored by a real estate agent I’d not do business with if only because I’m not going to click an ad to take me away from watching this train wreck of a video.

Location, location, location #playacerritos

You’ve got to get up early to catch the Mexican Coke dealers

Todos Santos, BCS, on Good Friday

Still the best food and beverage proposition in Baja

Martha!

I’m doing a redesign of a website whilst also moving them from Squarespace to Shopify and I’m pretty sure the cheeky copy sprinkled across the new homepage won’t make it past the first review, but I’m quite proud of it, so I had to share it somewhere.

Good Friday for Luna

I’m going to miss living in the desert when we leave next week. So many cactus started flowering this week and they’re beautiful.

Apple’s gotta be the company to come in and either buy or partner with StabilityAI right?

“Please lower your standards”

Baja sunset

Synecdoche

The worst sin committed by the news media, today is using synecdoches, helping simplify stories, fitting complex stories into headlines or a tweet whilst not representative of reality. People act, not synecdoches. Don’t dehumanise people, reducing their acts to those of the many.

Complex stories deserve gestation time, time for us to understand an comprehend them.

Millennial quiz: What have you got if you’ve got Sick Puppies next to Puddles of Mud with Twenty One Pilots?

How do you do fellow kids?

The moon over Baja tonight was so beautiful. Here it is captured by three lenses. Ones an iPhone 14 Pro’s 24mm lens, another is a Canon RF 35mm, and another is a Canon RF 70-200mm cropped.

Researching places to stay and this is the third sentence in the second paragraph in Wikipedia:

In 1968, five Swiss artillery shells accidentally hit it, damaging a few chairs that were sitting outdoors.

I’ve never flown Delta Air Lines, but Britt did last week, and a friend here in Baja is a frequent flyer with the airline, both, unprompted, cited the seat-back entertainment as one of the reasons they would fly them again.

Customer satisfaction win for Delta.

📷 Practice (#mbmar Micro Blog March photo challenge prompt suggested by @hollie)

My first look at the 400 megapixel mode on the Canon EOS R5

I’m a sucker for megapixels, because as much as they really don’t matter to most people - and they really shouldn’t - for me they often mean I’ve got room to crop. More pixels collected means more pixels you can delete, a post-production version of digital zoom if you like.

Other, smarter, and different, people will have different reasons for wanting more pixels, so I’m not here to pass judgement on the feature, just to share my first thoughts and two images I’ve made with the feature.

The feature is actually called IBIS High-resolution shot, apparently, it how it works is that instead of using the stabilisation for stabilising, it uses it to take a bunch of photos whilst moving the sensor, then composes one big image out of it.

So that’s why shooting handheld isn’t a great idea, partially because IBIS (In-Body Image Stabilisation) isn’t enabled, and partially because the collection of photos isn’t all taken at once, they’re taken sequentially.

So as you’ll find in my first demo, the palm trees moving in the wind didn’t quite make it through to the 400-megapixel image in the best quality.

Below you can download the original raw or jpeg, along with the full-resolution jpegs as exported from Lightroom, plus if you want to play with the files yourself you can remix them in Lightroom online.

🪟◾️ El Pescadero in regular 44-megapixel mode - 21.2 megabyte CR3 raw file, 29.8 megabytes processed JPEG from Lightroom - remix it in Lightroom online.

🪟⬛️ El Pescadero in 400-megapixel mode - 122.7 megabytes JPEG original file from the camera, 285.2 megabytes processed JPEG from Lightroom - remix it in Lightroom online.

🍌◾️ Banana in regular 44-megapixel mode - 27.1 megabytes CR3 raw file, 41.4 megabytes processed JPEG from Lightroom - remix it in Lightroom online.

🍌⬛️ Banana in 400-megapixel mode - 85.1 megabyte JPG original file from the camera, 213.6 megabytes processed JPEG from Lightroom - remix it in Lightroom online.

Get the Canon EOS R5 firmware update to 1.8.1 on the Canon website, and reports said you’d need to use Canon’s EOS Utility to import and read the files. That hasn’t been my experience. They’re just regular, really big, JPEGs. If you open up the CF or SD card in Finder, it’s the same file list, and Lightroom handled them fine, if not a little slowly.

So is it worth it? Let’s zoom in. Here’s a close-up of the same banana peel scar in the two images.

If you need a really good photo of a banana then I reckon this might be the feature for you. But if you need a really good photo of a palm frond…

Maybe a medium-format camera is what you need instead?

Ronald Sharp via James Clear’s excellent email, on how friendship transforms us (or any great relationship, really):

It’s not about what someone can do for you, it’s who and what the two of you become in each other’s presence.

“Now this being so, how much happier and better would the world not be if only it could be purged of women?”

From a March 28, 1912, letter to the editor of The Times, signed by C.S.C., one of the doomed. Who turned out to be Clementine Churchill. via Letters of Note

📷 Mirror (@Rori)

Now you’re just a music playback medium that I used to know.

(Found in an op-shop in 2017)

I’m feeling bullish on the new group-messaging app and platform, Wavelength, After reading John Gruber’s review, then using it and joining a group, I think it could replace group chats in other places, but also serve as a platform for new conversations.

If you’re interested, I’ve started a few group chats:

Jump onboard if you’re interested!

Eleven years ago I asked Britt to marry me, and honestly, it would still be my best idea yet.

I’ve written the story into my Rebels Guide draft chapter on proposals and how I think you should approach asking someone to marry you, now on the blog.

Over a decade ago Vinod Khosla wrote a series of blog posts about artificial intelligence, the forecasts hold up today, and the headline basically tells the whole story: ‘Do we need doctors?’ and ‘Do we need teachers?’

📷 Slice (#mbmar Micro Blog March photo challenge prompt suggested by @meandering)

Last week Goldie grabbed a big knife off the kitchen bench when I wasn’t looking.

Number of times a well-regulated militia has been required in the USA this year: zero.

Number of times a school student has been wanted to not be shot at this year: way too many.

Dropped a new draft chapter of the Rebels Guide to Getting Married today: choosing a person to marry.

Thinking about the Coolangatta boardriders today

Ted Gioia on becoming a Substack shareholder and why the rest of the business isn’t run like this. Why don’t the creators own the platforms?

“I’d love to live in a world in which the major record labels were owned by musicians. Or the Hollywood film studios by cast and crew. Or those five huge publishing businesses were controlled by writers.”

📷 Prompt (#mbmar Micro Blog March photo challenge prompt suggested by @moonmehta)

I cannot imagine living in a community where the word “another” preceding “school shooting” isn’t cause for rioting in the streets and major societal change.

I’m just a boy, standing in front of a couple, asking them to make out in front of their grandparents.

(I’m a wedding celebrant)

When Vanilla Ice rapped that he was back with a ‘brand new invention’, he was indeed ‘back’ after his first hit, a cover of Play That Funky Music, but was the invention the lyrics (which is kind of the whole idea of a song), his theft of the Under Pressure bass line, or was he talking about the Ninja Rap that came out the next year?

Oh, this is awkward. The artificial intelligence doesn’t know that the United Kingdom has left the European Union. If I tell it is it going to have an emotional meltdown?

📷 Support (#mbmar Micro Blog March photo challenge prompt suggested by @JohnAN)

I’ve spent a lot of time at the Los Sagrados Horse Sanctuary over the past few weeks, and the biggest take away for me isn’t just the support we can offer to horses, but the support they offer to us.

The computer at Picfair has decided that these pieces of art are the ones people are most likely to buy from my print store and hang on their wall, prove it wrong.

Printing in most countries worldwide so delivery is usually local which means it’s quick and easy.

art.josh.withers.co

Creedence Clearwater Revival’s ‘Have You Ever Seen the Rain?’ is playing in the cafe and I’m singing ‘Have you ever seen Lorraine?’ and the guy at the next table is not handling it well.

The one where Father Nathan Monk casually suggests that Jesus might of been gay.

The Christians are going to roast you, Monk. Godspeed.

22 Jump Street is going to be Kanye’s Mother Theresa moment.

Which cinematic alien or monster do you think my huevos rancheros looks like? I’m seeing Dr. Zoidberg.

I have a confession. I don’t know where to take the book I’m writing. I actually feel kind of stupid for even having thought I should write a book, when all I had was a handful of good ideas. It’s not that I have writer’s block, as much as I’m out of ideas …

📷 Instrument (#mbmar Micro Blog March photo challenge prompt suggested by @UnfocusedWanderlust)

On Friday I was photographing Los Sagrados for their new website, and a musician came out to perform the flute and percussion for the horses. It was quite a thing to witness.

All eyes on Apple’s AI move, are they going full neural?

I’ve spent the last week mulling an idea about Apple and AI then Linus goes and writes a piece which basically is what I was going to write, with the only addition, to keep an eye on Stability AI and Stable Diffusion. Apple has made a few small moves in their direction recently.

My guess is that any Apple LLM/AI move will be under the brand of Siri, albeit an extension or added product to what we know as Siri in early 2023.

Disco tech

Luna and I flexing our frequent flyer privileges this afternoon.

This week in cactus

While Britt’s been away this last fortnight I’ve had heaps of one-on-one time with Goldie while her big sister is at school.

Jose M. Gilgado on embracing a title to help you actually become, that title:

The earlier you use that new term: “athlete,” “writer,” or “artist,” the easier it will be to accept your new identity and act accordingly.

Jon Haidt in Why the Mental Health of Liberal Girls Sank First and Fastest:

There was a culture that was encouraged on Tumblr, which was to be able to describe your unique non-normative self. That’s to some extent a feature of modern society anyway. But it was taken to such an extreme that people began to describe this as the “snowflake” (referring to the idea that each snowflake is unique), the person who constructs a totally kind of boutique identity for themselves; then guards that identity in a very, very sensitive way; and reacts in an enraged way when anyone does not respect the uniqueness of their identity. On the other side of the political spectrum, there was the most insensitive culture imaginable: 4chan. The communities involved in gender activism on Tumblr were mostly young progressive women while 4Chan was mostly used by right-leaning young men, so there was an increasingly gendered nature to the online conflict. The two communities supercharged each other with their mutual hatred, as often happens in a culture war. The young identity activists on Tumblr embraced their new notions of identity, fragility and trauma all the more tightly, increasingly saying that words are a form of violence. Meanwhile, the young men on 4Chan moved in the opposite direction; they brandished a rough and rude masculinity in which status was gained by using words more insensitively than the next guy. It was out of this reciprocal dynamic that today’s Cancel Culture was born in the early 2010s. Then, in 2013, it escaped from Tumblr into the much larger Twitterverse. Once on Twitter, it went national and even global (at least within the English-speaking countries), producing the mess we all live with today.

Bono and The Edge’s Tiny Desk Concert is beautiful. In particular, the “argument between two mates”, Stuck in Moment You Can’t Get Out Of.

Missing home/Australia/Gold Coast tonight

After reading this, all I want to do is walk the streets of LA.

Helen Garner on happiness in The Guardian:

What is happiness, anyway? Does anybody know? It’s taken me 80 years to figure out that it’s not a tranquil, sunlit realm at the top of the ladder you’ve spent your whole life hauling yourself up, rung by rung. It’s more like the thing that Christians call grace: you can’t earn it, you can’t strive for it, it’s not a reward for virtue. It exists all right, it will be given to you, but it’s fluid, it’s evasive, it’s out of reach. It’s something you glimpse in the corner of your eye until one day you’re up to your neck in it. And before you’ve had time to take a big gasp and name it, it’s gone.

Virginia Heffernan in the Wired article on TSMC, “I Saw the Face of God in a Semiconductor Factory”:

In 1675, A French merchant named Jacques Savary published The Perfect Merchant, a mercantile manual that came to double as a guide for doing commerce around the world. Albert O. Hirschman cites Savary to explain how capitalism, which would have been regarded as little but avarice as recently as the 16th century, became the sanest ambition of humans in the 17th.

Savary strongly believed that international trade would be the antidote to war. Humans can’t conduct polyglot commerce across borders without cultivating an understanding of foreign laws, customs, and cultures. Savary also believed the Earth’s resources and the fellowship created by commerce were God-given. “It’s not God’s will that all human necessities be found in the same place,” Savary wrote. “Divine Providence has dispersed its gifts so that humans will trade together and find that their mutual need to help each other establishes ties of friendship among them.”

📷 Spice (#mbmar Micro Blog March photo challenge prompt suggested by @cygnoir)

It’s been four months since I’ve blasted this idea across the internet, so here’s my regular reminder that I blog before I post on social, and that blog automatically sends a weekly roundup to anyone that subscribes.

I can’t stop thinking about this RIAA story with Steve Jobs. It’s amazing how fragile - while also strong - the world is. Thank God Rogue Amoeba made it through, I use their software every day.

How to cook soup, by the late Dean Allen:

First, you need some water. Fuse two hydrogen with one oxygen and repeat until you have enough. While the water is heating, raise some cattle. Pay a man with grim eyes to do the slaughtering, preferably while you are away. Roast the bones, then add to the water. Go away again. Come back once in awhile to skim. When the bones begin to float, lash together into booms and tow up the coast. Reduce. Keep reducing. When you think you have reduced enough, reduce some more. Raise some barley. When the broth coats the back of a spoon and light cannot escape it, you are nearly there. Pause to mop your brow as you harvest the barley. Search in vain for a cloud in the sky. Soak the barley overnight (you will need more water here), then add to the broth. When, out of the blue, you remember the first person you truly loved, the soup is ready. Serve.

Shane Claiborne in The Irresistible Revolution:

Once we are actually friends with folks in struggle, we start to ask why people are poor, which is never as popular as giving to charity.

Gurwinder:

The Opinion Pageant: The rise of social media as the primary mode of interaction has caused us to overvalue opinions as a gauge of character. We are now defined more by what we say than what we actually do, and words, unlike deeds, are cheap and easy to counterfeit.

Help me name my new creation which I made for the kids for dinner tonight. It’s a quesadilla with leftover spaghetti bolognaise sauce and despite Luna’s objections, it’s great!

Coming soon to old London Town, pixels that I made in Burleigh Heads.

Rutger Bregman in Humankind:

Cynicism is a theory of everything. The cynic is always right.

Three years of hell

Three years ago today I had the wildest, wettest day at work so far. Bringing a wedding forward a day, performing the wedding ceremony I already had for that day, then doing the brought-forward ceremony in the rain, rushing back to Sydney Airport from the Blue Mountains, every store is closed in the airport and we catch the fabled last flight into Queensland before they closed the border.

Three years of hell. Here’s to never getting so silly ever again. You can’t stop people from dying, it’s inevitable, but you can stop people from living.

📷 Court (#mbmar Micro Blog March photo challenge prompt suggested by @rom)

Most people I respect or look up to journal every day but it’s not a habit I can get into. Tonight I learned about the simple and powerful 1-1-1 journalling method, and then to get nerdy with it, there’s a tutorial on making a Shortcut to make it easier. Then follow this advice from Apple on how to run a Shortcut from a Reminder, I prompted Siri to remind me of it every day at 9pm.

Had coffee at a cafe in Todos Santos today where they hand out 30-minute wifi access codes. They mixed my order up - bringing a cold americano with hot milk when I ordered the reverse - so my 30 minutes ran out in the middle of a text chat. I asked for another code and the barista said “you should have bought food if you wanted more wifi” then walked away!

A new website for Los Sagrados Horse Sanctuary

Flexed my vintage graphic design skills for the local Baja horse sanctuary recently and I’m pretty proud of the work I’ve done.

I used to do web design professionally back in the olden days when computers were stone tablets and Jesus was a boy.

Plus before now you couldn’t find the ranch on Apple or Google Maps properly, and all the search engines and AI chat models didn’t know about them.

Over the coming weeks that will all change as the databases and algorithms catch up.

The horse sanctuary is a registered Mexican charity so they can now take donations online, and they’re on the way to taking horse riding reservations online, selling tickets to events, and also operating as an event venue with online booking etc.

Plus they’ve now got email on their own domain name so they look and feel more professional to donors and grant-giving organisations.

Finally, for the first time in a web design project I got to make all the photography with Britt so we had full creative control of the project.

lossagrados.org

📷 Chance (#mbmar Micro Blog March photo challenge prompt suggested by @V_)

📷 Insect (#mbmar Micro Blog March photo challenge prompt suggested by a@alexink)

📷 Tiny {people} (#mbmar Micro Blog March photo challenge prompt suggested by @jasonmcfadden)

It was Luna’s turn to decide what we had for breakfast. Her choice? La Esquina, the cafe with pancakes and a playground.

It’s easy to laugh at Rupert Murdoch getting engaged for the fifth time at the ripe age of 92, but at least he’s doing his part to help the wedding industry after Covid. What are you doing? Have you even considered getting married again?

Maryanne Wolf on reading:

Literacy literally changes the human brain. The process of learning to read changes our brain, but so does what we read, how we read and on what we read (print, e-reader, phone, laptop). This is especially important in our new reality, when many people are tethered to multiple screens at any given moment.

She also quotes this which really makes me want to throw the TV in the bin:

When watching a screen, the infant is bombarded with a stream of fast-paced movements, ongoing blinking lights and scene changes, which require ample cognitive resources to make sense of and process. The brain becomes “overwhelmed” and is unable to leave adequate resources for itself to mature in cognitive skills such as executive functions.

You know yo’ve really embedded yourself in a Mexican community when you see a friend riding in the back of a truck on the highway.

📷 Houseplant. Did I do the #mbmar Micro Blog March photo challenge prompt right, @jensands)?

(Photo made a few moments ago on the way to get a coffee in Los Cerritos, Baja California Sur)

📷🇲🇽 Analog (#mbmar Micro Blog March photo challenge prompt suggested by @skarjune)

I made these photos on Playa Cerritos, Baja California Sur, Mexico, on a broken film camera a week ago, then a few days later they were developed in a photo lab at Currumbin Beach, Australia, and I’m posting them today from Las Tunas, Mexico. The wonders of living in a connected world. (Britt has flown back to Australia this week).

📷 Portico (#mbmar Micro Blog March photo challenge prompt suggested by @annahavrom)

From a snow day in Nashville between Christmas and New Year’s Eve just passed.

Dan Shipper’s representation of AI/GPT as a copilot for the mind harkens back to Steve Jobs talking about computers in 1990 as “a bicycle of the mind”.

Something that takes us past our inherent abilities.

Ansel Adams:

You don’t take a photograph, you make it.

📷 Early (#mbmar Micro Blog March photo challenge prompt suggested by @krisfredrick) also shared on Pexels.

Everyone move along, there’s nothing to see here.

The “crack” on Josh’s iPhone screen that has occupied his sad mind for the last two hours was actually the smallest dried strand of egg yolk draped across his screen, hard enough and thin enough to seem like a crack to the untrained mind.

If only you could’ve seen the look on my face as I scratched off the scratch like a miracle healer.

A bunch of smart people say we need to learn “‘critical ignoring’ – the ability to choose what to ignore and where to invest our limited attentional capacities.”

📷 Road (#mbmar Micro Blog March photo challenge prompt suggested by @Dejus)

There’s a saying in Baja that “bad roads bring good people and good roads bring bad people”.

So we keep the ungraded and bumpy dirt roads as an instrument of faith in the neighbours we want.

Alexander Haymen:

“Home is where people notice when you’re not there.”

📷 Patience (#mbmar Micro Blog March photo challenge prompt suggested by @amit)

📷 Horizon (#mbmar Micro Blog March photo challenge prompt suggested by @crossingthethreshold)

📷 Connection (#mbmar Micro Blog March photo challenge prompt suggested by @agilelisa)

The moment I connected with my minutes-old first child and daughter.

📷 Shiny (#mbmar Micro Blog March photo challenge prompt suggested by @odd)

The second percolator I’ve owned in Mexico. I forgot the first one was on the stove, on heat. Melted all the plastic components.

📷 Gimcrack (#mbmar Micro Blog March photo challenge prompt suggested by @jafish).

My local tyre shop here in Baja California Sur has real gimcrack vibes.

Friday afternoon in Pescadero, Baja California Sur

July: great at selling luggage, not great at supporting it

Update: July have made good on this error and sent me a replacement bag to where I was in the USA. Thanks for going the extra-mile guys.

I feel so heartbroken when I didn’t keep my word. I struggle as a parent when I make a promise - or a threat - to my girls because I want to make sure I can follow through on my word. When I fail to keep my word in friendships, family, or business, it pains me. It’s why I pore over our website copy and contracts to make sure we can and will do what we promise to do.

So I guess that’s why I’m feeling really disappointed in one of my favourite brands: July.

Flying from San Jose del Cabo to Brisbane through Los Angeles in November last year a wheel came off my Checked Plus July luggage somewhere between Alaska Airlines' check-in at Cabo and the luggage carousel in LAX. I’m no fool, I’m sure one of the gentle giants working in luggage handling delicately placed the bag where it needed to be and the faulty wheel just fell off.

I had travel insurance on the trip, and no doubt Alaska Airlines might have covered it - but I know from experience that airlines are painful about damaged luggage.

So I had one week to make the claim with Alaska Airlines, but I thought travel insurance was the sure bet, but I know they’d ask me if I’d contacted the airline for coverage or the manufacturer for warranty, so I contacted July as I arrived on Australian soil on November 21 - intent to get a quick no from them so I can make an insurance claim, buy a new bag, and be ready to go by the time I leave Australia on December 21. We have one month to solve a hopefully easy problem.

July’s ‘Happiness Team’ replies - and by the way, unless you’re actually going to make people happy, just be a customer service or customer disservice team:

“We would be happy to have replacement wheels sent out for you.”

This I was not expecting!

So I give all the details as required and requested, put to bed any thoughts of wrestling with Alsaka’s premiere airline, and even worse, my travel insurance, and await the wheel.

It shipped from July one month later, as I was boarding my flight to Nashville via Sydney and Dallas. I explicitly communicated that I was in the country for a month and it took a month to send the wheel.

Another wheel was then allegedly shipped to my Mexican address but it’s been three months and all I am left with now is a series of thoughts and no wheels.

  • going to “the media” aka social media or the news never works, until it does
  • I really like the July suitcases and kind of enjoy having a matching set of five despite one limping
  • we’re in Baja California Sur for another month until we go to Nashville and Hawaii then Europe before coming home in August, what am I going to do about this three-wheeled bag.
  • I’d really just like another big July bag but do I want to continue to do business with a company that can’t simply keep its word?
  • I wish they’d just said no back in November and I would have bought a new bag and they would have never experienced the pain of letting me down.
  • Can I even get a July bag in, or to, Mexico before April 8?

You’re a Miracle by Mike McHargue is a book that zings around the inside of my brain all day every day:

You are a miracle because 86 billion neurons in your brain form into thousands of structures and networks, built from a map created over billions of years to understand the world you live in. But sometimes, you are a pain in your ass because all these networks are running a playbook that’s been around a lot longer than you have. The cells in your body have survived through the eons by eating every delicious calorie they come across, allowing fear to make them run, and using anger to make them fight for their lives.

March 10, 1976, the first and last time “Articulate speech was transmitted intelligibly” over a telephone. For the 147 years since inarticulate speech transmitted poorly has been the theme.

📷 Ritual (#mbmar Micro Blog March photo challenge prompt suggested by @drewbelf)

Our morning coffee. While we’re in El Pescadero, it’s from La Comuna Espresso Bar at Mini Super Munchies.

Keith Richards:

To me, the main thing about living on this planet is to know who the hell you are and be real about it. That’s the reason I’m still alive.

📷 Together (#mbmar Micro Blog March photo challenge prompt suggested by @sherif)

Our little nomadic family, our most recent photo all together in Australia, in October last year.

Rancho Gaspareño

Bryan Jáuregui quotes Greg Schredder regarding Rancho Gaspareño, Baja California Sur, just south of Todos Santos, emphasis and photos mine:

Rancho Gaspareño was named after a Spanish galleon that went aground on the point, the Gaspareño. It was one of the so-called Manila galleons, Spanish ships that sailed between the Philippines and Acapulco for 250 years, bringing spices, silks and other luxuries from the far east to New Spain. All these galleons sailed the Pacific coast of Baja on their way to Acapulco, so naturally enough the area became riddled with pirates, many of them English and Dutch.

There are many tales of buried pirate treasure in the area, and local school groups still come to explore the cave at Rancho Gaspareño each year to tap into the lore. Treasure hunters have reason for optimism; in 1974 when the road from La Paz to the ferry terminal at Pichilingue was being built, a pirate chest of plundered loot was discovered by road workers.

I think of this part of the Baja coastline as the forgotten area. People drive past Rancho Gaspareño going a hundred miles an hour on the new 4-lane highway and have no idea of the history of the area.

The Guaycura and Pericue Indians were the original inhabitants before the Jesuit’s arrival in 1697, and they were essentially wiped out by the time the Jesuits left in 1768. The Jesuits built their theocracy based on a promise to the King of Spain to get rid of the pirates who were plundering his ships, and the pirates faded away with the demise of the Manila galleons in 1815. Dominican Padre Gabriel González had a ranch near Gaspareño from 1825 to 1850, and the tobacco, rum, sugar, corn, and livestock he produced there made him the richest man in Baja California. From his ranch the padre engaged in espionage and guerilla warfare during the Mexican-American war of 1846-1848, and – thanks in part to the Padre – Mexico won a major victory near Gaspareño (but lost the war). By 1855 the Padre had lost his political backing and left Baja for good. For the next one hundred years entrepreneurs made fortunes in the sugar cane industry with fields in areas like Gaspareño, but in the 1950s a severe drought and price drop lead to the demise of the industry; the last sugar processing plant closed in 1974. In that same year the trans peninsular highway made its way to Todos Santos, bringing new life to the town, and in 1985 renowned artist Charles Stewart arrived from Taos, planting the seed for Todos Santos’ current incarnation as an artists’ colony. It remains an agricultural center and surfing hotspot, only now it is firmly on the radar of major developers.

Now we all just speed past at 120km/hr on the four-lane highway and wonder how much the owner wants for it (shhh, $12M).

Charlie Warzel in The Atlantic writes on the vindication of Ask Jeeves:

Many years later, it seems I owe Jeeves an apology: He had the right idea all along.

For all the hype, when I stare at these new chatbots, I can’t help but see the faint reflection of my former besuited internet manservant. In a sense, Bing and Bard are finishing what Ask Jeeves started.

📷 Early morning beach walks with my three girls (#mbmar Micro Blog March photo challenge prompt ‘walk’ suggested by @lwdupont)

When dating apps match you up and ChatGPT writes your wedding vows, it’s like you’re part of a high-tech breeding program for computers. We’re like surrogate parents for algorithms, helping to create the next generation of AI love stories.

Ten whale soup off Todos Santos yesterday 🐋📷🚁

Just a wee little note that imma be on NBC News tonight from 8pm NY time talking about weddings with Gadi Schwartz in case you hadn’t heard enough from me lately

Ed Catmull:

We are meaning-making creatures who read other people’s subtle clues just as they read ours.

Jeff Hammerbacher, an early Facebook engineer:

The best minds of my generation are thinking about how to make people click ads.

From On Writing: A Memoir of the Craft by Stephen King 📚

“Put your desk in the corner, and every time you sit down there to write, remind yourself why it isn’t in the middle of the room. Life isn’t a support-system for art. It’s the other way around.”

📷 Whole (#mbmar Micro Blog March photo challenge prompt suggested by @val)

A whole lot of whale as I saw it from my aerial camera yesterday.

Well, that’s a wrap on another day of pretending like I know what’s happening.

Because I couldn’t get my head clear to write this morning I worked on a cover for the book instead.

If you’d walk past this in a shop and stop, like this.

Would you buy it? Let me know why.

The future of creating is damned

My greatest fear for my kids and for future generations is what it means to create within and around such specific analytics being available.

I (unfortunately) have precise readings of how many people read and view my work. Where they come from and where they don’t. How many followers, likes, and shares each social network allows me.

Honestly, it’s depressing and it is the biggest impediment to my creative work.

Efforts to remove the signals from my life have been mostly meaningless and sometimes even have adversely affected business, revenue, and our family’s supply.

I am most aware of this because my career as a creator started when its audience was measured by handwritten diaries, radio-listening diaries completed at the end of the day where the surveyed people would report on which radio stations they listened to - in quarter-hour blocks - throughout the day, usually reporting at the end of the day. Somehow entire industries and careers like mine were built on the back of less than 0.1% of the population writing in a book for a few weeks a year was representative of the entire local population, and we all took this as gospel.

Now I know exactly that one person watched one of my YouTube videos of me talking about a chapter of my book, and they didn’t even finish, and I also know that my silly Instagram Reel of my four-year-old daughter with a wavy video effect has been seen by over 100,000 people.

And even if we think that 100,000 people is a great reach, it’s only 0.00125% of the global population. Is 0.001% reach within our content goals this month?

With the slightest margin of error, we can tell you that somewhere between 25 to 35 visit our business website every day, but somehow we make enough bookings to provide for our family.

I think about the New York Times article recently published where I was quoted and our websites linked to, and it looks like pretty much zero of the article’s readers clicked those links. I wonder how many people actually read the article which had taken many hours of at least one journalist’s and one editor’s time to research, write, and publish. The most promotion I witnessed of the article itself was a small text link at the bottom of the NY Times front page. Do people read that far down? Do they click those links? Did anyone even read that article?

Things aren’t bad, but there was a mysterious time only recently when you could broadcast a radio program and have no idea how many people heard it. You could print a newspaper, and obviously, you would have some idea of how many papers were printed, but who read which articles? You never knew! It was beautiful. You could write an article you thought was worth writing, that the editor thought was worth publishing, and you would just send it off to the printer along with the headline news about that scandal and the other story about how politicians are terrible.

Do we still create beautiful things if we believe that no one will see them?

George Berkeley wrote in A Treatise Concerning the Principles of Human Knowledge,

The objects of sense exist only when they are perceived; the trees therefore are in the garden… no longer than while there is somebody by to perceive them.

If you suppose that no one might perceive your creation, do you even create it in the first place?

Are we ok with being unpopular? Are our kids ok with it?

If you asked me I’d say I am ok with it, if only because it’s my reality. But the truth is that this reality also affects my ability to create. I second-guess myself, wondering if it’s even worth clicking the shutter button or opening up the laptop to write a chapter of a book that will most likely be purchased by only my close friends and read by even fewer.

As I’ve published this piece, and added a featured image of me trying to figure out why Morgan’s Nikon camera wasn’t working (if you know, you know) I’ve realised that all of these thoughts of mine are before and almost exclusionary of artificial intelligence and large language models.

Creating really is doomed isn’t it …

📷 Engineering (#mbmar Micro Blog March photo challenge prompt suggested by @ridwan)

These are my DJI microphones, and as a travelling nerd I really appreciate how they’ve been engineered, all to stay within the little charging case.

📷 Tile (#mbmar Micro Blog March photo challenge prompt suggested by @thedimpulse)

Luna, nine months old, taking a breather on the floor of a Tuscan church.

📷 Tile (#mbmar Micro Blog March photo challenge prompt suggested by @thedimpulse)

Photo made outside a small Italian restaurant in Brisbane.

Talking to a lovely old Mexican bloke in Cabo San Lucas and he asks where we live, I say Pescadero.

He says, ‘I love Pescadero because it looks like a Mexican fishing village but it’s full of white people!’

So apparently my whiteness is like some kind of gravitational force.

📷 Zip (#mbmar Micro Blog March photo challenge prompt suggested by @miraz)

zip /zip/

verb

  1. fasten with a zipper.

  2. move at high speed.

Local Baja news includes the taco price index

If you look closely you’ll find yours truly’s name mentioned in the New York daily rag today.

U.S. petrochemicals giant Dow Inc and the Singapore government said they were transforming old sneakers into playgrounds and running tracks. Reuters put that planted AirTags inside 11 pairs of donated shoes and found them at Indonesian flea markets instead.

📷 Solitude (#mbmar Micro Blog March photo challenge prompt suggested by @circustiger)

I made this photo in Yosemite National Park.

The most interesting (to me) new app/social net-ugh-something-work is Artifact. It’s from the guys who created Instagram but it’s like a ‘TikTok for articles/blog posts/news.

I personally would much prefer to read than watch a video, so this is my kind of network.

I fell victim to a phishing scam yesterday and man, I haven’t felt shame like that in a while. Here’s what happened, and how you could avoid it if you weren’t an idiot like me.

Anthony Bourdain in 1999 before he was that chef guy everyone knew, writing ‘Don’t Eat Before Reading This’ in the New Yorker:

“Good food, good eating, is all about blood and organs, cruelty and decay. It’s about sodium-loaded pork fat, stinky triple-cream cheeses, the tender thymus glands and distended livers of young animals.”

I don’t wish to cause the editors at Atlas Obscura any stress, but why is this not titled ‘The God’s Must Be Thirsty (for Red Fanta)’

Islands, they’re always in the last place you look.

Celebrating Wayne Shorter (1933-2023) with his 2018 open letter co-authored with Herbie Hancock:

“We are all pieces in a giant, fluid puzzle, where the smallest of actions by one puzzle piece profoundly affects each of the others. You matter, your actions matter, your art matters.”

📷 Weather (#mbmar Micro Blog March photo challenge prompt suggested by @pcora)

Photo made in Newport Beach looking at Catalina on Saturday just passed.

📷 Secure (#mbmar Micro Blog March photo challenge prompt suggested by @mandaris)

They got me by talking about my main domain name and my main domain host. Even though it’s not hosted at VentraIP. I’m just so used to having to correct payments there.

I didn’t even notice the bung I in VentraIP, the bad email address, the bad domain.

I’ve locked the two credit cards I fed them. Feel like an idiot.

As Abe Simpson said, and it will happen to yoouuuuu.

One of the little joys of being great at your art is inspiring others to take part in it. So often I am asked how to become a celebrant, that I have finally published my little eight-part guide on how to become a celebrant at the ever-so-smart domain name, becomeacelebrant.au

A letter from a freelancing poet, Edna St. Vincent Millay, to her publisher, Poetry magazine, with the business inspiration we all could take, from Letters of Note.

I’m a sucker for a crazy plan of any genre, but a crazy plan to save newspapers, I’m all in, Ted.

This line from the late Rich Mullins is my inspiration for writing, but gosh it’s hard sometimes

God spoke to Balaam through his ass, and God’s been speaking through them ever since.

📷 Four frames from El Pescadero, Baja California Sur, today

📷🚁🇲🇽 Four aerial frames from Playa Los Cerritos, Baja California Sur

📷✈️🇺🇸 Four frames out the window of AA2171

📷✈️🇺🇸 Four frames from LAX on Sunday

📷 Four frames from Newport Beach this past weekend

Stephen King in On Writing:

If you’re just starting out as a writer, you could do worse than strip your television’s electric plug-wire, wrap a spike around it, and then stick it back into the wall. See what blows, and how far. Just an idea.

Debt by David Graeber:

If you owe the bank a hundred thousand dollars, the bank owns you. If you owe the bank a hundred million dollars, you own the bank.

Hey, don’t be alarmed or anything but the President of Mexico, the head honcho, the big guy in charge, has tweeted that one of his engineers has taken a photo of an elf. Just another day south o’ the border.

I’ve just had my peak Mexican moment. I delivered a dad joke in Spanish and it was perfect.

I’m at our local sushi restaurant ordering takeaway dinner and whilst waiting at the bar they offer me a margarita, and you don’t say no to a margarita in Baja.

I finish it, and he gestured towards my empty glass to which I reply “esta roto” which means “it’s broken” whilst inspecting the bottom of my glass, implying that the drink must have fallen out of the bottom.

He laughs, I laugh, I’m now a Mexican dad and can never leave.

If you want surf and snow in the same trip, I can definitely recommend Los Angeles today.

Drove past this park today and noticed something interesting on Google Maps at (33.6621623, -117.8775484).

I wonder how many aircraft the Google Maps aerial photographers have captured?

Now I’ve just got to hope the people writing memos or sending emails regarding Bel’s Guide don’t stop me.

Do you think Carls Sr. is proud of his son?

This is good content, we should podcast about it.

Visited the Japanese mothership (aka Canon campus) in Los Angeles and asked them to clean my cameras and lenses.

Steve Jobs in 1984 spotting a Macintosh in the wild for the first time.

I couldn’t begin to imagine the what he was feeling seeing a product he knew so intimately, that his team had worked on endlessly, to see from the street it just being used by someone in an office.

I tried but it turns out you can’t go Out before you go In

It’s so special to be in LA to watch the city fall to pieces with my own eyes.

‘dat light + reflection

Los Angeles bound for a few days, thankfully it’s raining so we won’t stay long enough for it to make us soft.

Goldie, taking full advantage of the Shatner Seat

What a time to be alive

Pure second child energy.

I’m going to start sneaking in to her room while she sleeps and bottling some of that excess second child energy and selling it to soldiers and personal trainers who need to get hyped up.

Hey everyone, make sure you update your … checks notes … Apple power cord

Mexican Marines

Sunday // Playa Cerritos, BCS

Mark Twain’s use of a typewriter. I wonder if AI-writing is today’s typewriter?

Steven Pressfield on going deep:

Everyone wants to succeed immediately and without pain or effort. Or they love to write books about how to write books, rather than actually writing a book that might actually be about something. Bad advice is everywhere. Build a following. Establish a platform. Learn how to scam the system. In other words, do all the surface stuff and none of the real work it takes to actually produce something of value. The disease of our times is that we live on the surface. We’re like the Platte River, a mile wide and an inch deep. Real work and real satisfaction come from the opposite of what the web provides. They come from going deep into something - the book you’re writing, the album, the movie -and staying there for a long, long time.

What’s the go with Mayor Humdinger? Is Foggy Bottom even a real township? Why does the Paw Patrol continue to rescue this evil man?

Tres es compañía (three frames of three humpback whales shot a few minutes ago in El Pescadero, Baja California Sur, Mexico)

Watched the sun set over the Pacific tonight as humpback whales came right up close to the shore so they could scratch their backs on the sand bars. What a time to be alive!

Wednesday frames

Whale watching in Baja

When you look down at just the right time // whale watching in El Pescadero, Baja California Sur

El Pescadero seafood stall

I heard you were into Jesus, so I got you some Jesus

For Britt’s 33rd birthday we went to CDMX, Mexico City, and painted the town pink.

Pro Tip: if you’re ever asked what the largest city in North America is, it’s not in the USA. It’s Mexico City.

To celebrate Britt’s birthday we took a walking food tour of Coyoacán in Mexico City with Sabores Mexico Food Tours. 10 points to our guide, Enya, for an excellent tour and secretly arranging a little birthday treat for Britt.

Zoológico de Chapultepec // Mexico City’s free zoo

Mexico City’s zoo is free to access, and weirdly, equal parts cool and scary. I’m Australia animal enclosures are 1) large and spacious, and 2) very, very, very securely separate from humans. It’s very hard for humans to touch or be close to animals.

But at Zoológico de Chapultepec I could very much just jump into the lion’s area.

Every day in Mexico I’m confronted with the stark difference between Australia’s “let’s assume you’re stupid, we’ll try and stop you from dying” modus operandi to Mexico’s “let’s assume you’re smart, we’re not going to try and stop you dying”, which honestly, from an intellectual point of view really appeals to me.

Freddie deBoer on SubStack:

“The 90s were better. They just were. I’m sorry, but it’s science.”

In a world consumed by the idea of creating content, Burt Bacharach created the most evergreen content we’ve seen in recent times: “what the world needs now is love, sweet love.”

The Rebel's Guide to Getting Married

Most people don’t know why they’re doing what they’re doing.

They imitate others, go with the flow, and follow paths without making their own.

They spend decades in pursuit of something that someone convinced them they should want, without realising that it won’t make them happy.

Don’t be those people. Don’t be those people in planning your wedding.

Reject the status quo. Reject the norm.

Embrace who you are. Embrace the idea that people like you two get married like ‘this’! Embrace your weirdness, your uniqueness, the things that make the two of you a couple.

This is the way of the rebel.

This is the way you’ll find in The Rebel’s Guide To Getting Married.

I’m unsure how many more Om Malik blog posts I can read before I trade in my Canon EOS R5 for a Leica. Please stop taunting me, @Onmyom@mstdn.social :)

Every day I experience another “Mexico moment” and I am hesitant to share them publicly because I don’t want to ruin things here, nor be a stupid gringo. But today was great.

We bought a car back in October but it hasn’t been registered to me yet because to register a car you need a drivers license and to get a drivers license you need residency plus proof of address and a blood test.

Proof of residence is hard because addresses aren’t really a thing in regional Mexico so you use electricity bills and most electricity bills are in the name of a corporation because individuals can’t own properties.

So I find out last week I can get a letter of residence instead of using an electricity bill.

It takes me like four different government offices to find the right person in a back office of an office that is full of young people talking and laughing and this lady agrees to help. We’re talking the back office of the back office of a building without a sign near the building I thought I had to go to.

I need this important letter and she drafts it up, spells my name wrong, we correct it, and then the big boss of the department needs to sign it. By big boss I mean “President of the Municipality”.

He’s busy talking to important people.

She sits there for like three minutes clearly thinking it all through and then she just forges his signature, smiles at me, and hands me the letter.

I get a blood test from a local doctor and I’m now a licensed Mexican driver.

Policy and procedure means everything and nothing over here.

Wednesday in Todos Santos

Wednesday in El Pescadero

If Marie Kondo can give up on having a tidy house you can give up on a whole range of crap. Celebrate quitting, cancelling and giving up. Not everything or everyone needs to be driven to the edge of sanity.

This is on the menu as Fresh Water or Agua Fresco.

Sometime before now Mexicans weren’t taking to actual water that was fresh and without watermelon straws, so smart boffins in Mexico City mixed in some fruit and sweetener, and hey presto, fresh waters and an obesity problem!

Ed Catmull in Creativity, Inc.:

“We aren’t aware that the majority of what we think we see is actually our brain filling in the gaps.”

Nick Cave:

“Rather than feel impotent and useless, you must come to terms with the fact that as a human being, you are infinitely powerful, and take responsibility for this tremendous power. Even our smallest actions have the potential for great change, positively or negatively, and the way in which we all conduct ourselves within the world means something. You are anything but impotent, you are, in fact, exquisitely and frighteningly dynamic, as are we all, and with all respect, you have an obligation to stand up and take responsibility for that potential. It is your most ordinary and urgent duty.”

A smart Australian government would’ve sorted their colonising the indigenous population problems out before the Internet.

UnClobber by Colby Martin 📚

“In the essentials, unity; in the nonessentials, liberty; in all things, charity.”

From Creativity, Inc.: Overcoming the Unseen Forces That Stand in the Way of True Inspiration by Ed Catmull 📚

“The best way to predict the future is to invent it.”

D.H. Lawrence:

“the world fears a new experience more than anything. Because a new experience displaces so many old experiences.”

Anthony shared this signed cover art in today’s edition of The Sizzle and very few images can conjure up so much nostalgia. I still remember visiting the shareware kiosk (computer in a box) at Video Ezy and downloading the shareware version of Doom onto two 3.5" floppy disks.

In You’re a Miracle (and a Pain in the Ass) by Mike McHargue 📚:

“You are a miracle because 86 billion neurons in your brain form into thousands of structures and networks, built from a map created over billions of years to understand the world you live in. But sometimes, you are a pain in your ass because all these networks are running a playbook that’s been around a lot longer than you have. The cells in your body have survived through the eons by eating every delicious calorie they come across, allowing fear to make them run, and using anger to make them fight for their lives.”

Spotting a scam email

The most Mexican thing I’ve seen yet is a guy who has a table to sell so he’s just carried it around the neighbourhood singing out if anyone wants to buy a table. Take that, Zuckerberg, and your stupid Marketplace.

Don’t believe everything AI tells you. This bio sounds right, but it’s not. From what I understand I’ve never been in Vogue, The Knot, or Martha Vomit Stewart Weddings. I am not a founding member of the AFCC, and I’ve not been Sydney-based for over a decade. I also don’t write my couple’s vows.

Dan Shipper writes:

“Honestly, I’m usually annoyed when something gets trendy”

and I felt seen. So his article Permission to Be Excited About AI obviously spoke to me.

From Love Matters More by Jared Byas 📚

“Social media encourages the myth that who we are is defined by the opinions we type. But the older I get, the less interested I am in how well people can script their beliefs in front of a computer and the more interested I am in how tenaciously they go about grinding out their moral existence. I’m impressed when someone can get up every single day, determined to be a better human being than he or she was yesterday. Typing out what we “stand for” is easy. But loving well isn’t. I am not down on typing out our opinions—clearly. I’m only down on thinking that typing in and of itself constitutes an ethical life. May we stop thinking that becoming the kind of person we want to be is as easy as typing “me too” at those we agree with and “stupid people” at those we don’t. That’s a distraction from the real work of being human. And I’m ready to work.”

The duo behind Instagram - who sold for good coin and then left Instagram/Facebook in 2018 - have a new thing and it’s right in my ballpark. Think TikTok’s algorithmic feed but for text: artifact.news.

Do you know the most disappointing thing about the United States of America?

That the entire narrative of and about the country is defined by a small handful of topics recycled so quickly that outsiders often don’t even know which Police Officer killing, which mass shooting, which disappointing President, or which sexually abusive old white male you’re all angry about this week. It’s hard to keep up, and you need new stories. Not new fake stories so the rest of the world thinks you’re cool again. You need new truths so the new stories just kinda flow pretty easily.

Or be like Iceland. No-one ever hears about Iceland unless it’s a photo of some cool landscape.

Luna just asked Britt, “will you ever kill me, mummy?” And honestly, at the age of four it’s impressive that she’s already assembling friends and enemies lists, and that I got an auto-invite to the friends list but her mother required some investigation first.

One Million Downloads on Unsplash

Ive always secretly thought that when I reached 1 million downloads on Unsplash I’d stop posting there.

But as I passed the landmark this week I realised that sometimes we set silly goals about silly things.

I still don’t know why I share my art there, but I know I get more messages, emails, and commissioned paid work from Unsplash than I do from any other of my networks or communities.

unsplash.com/@joshwith…

It might be 8yrs late, but you’re finally getting my book: The Rebel’s Guide To Getting Married is coming in 2023. It’s a book about planning a wedding with intention and purpose, written by yours truly, Oz’s most hated celebrant & I’m writing live on my wedding blog.

Every time Buzz Aldrin comes up in the news or conversation I think of this Rhys Darby standup piece from 15-odd years ago. Starts 2:30 in.

Current status: forgot to put coffee in the percolator.

Throwback to that time ten years ago when I had awesome not-grey hair

Judging by the many different recordings I’m hearing and also seeing pop up on the web of Rick Rubin doing the circuit to promote his new 📚 book, The Creative Act, he’s much better in conversation than the written word. I’m reading the book and I’m struggling to stay tuned in.

📚 The Art of Growing Up by John Marsden:

“A friend of mine told the story of driving along a country road one day with her little son, when he remarked: ‘Look at the beautiful tree, Mummy.’ She replied: ‘Yes, it’s a manna gum.’ There was a long silence from the back seat, broken at last by her child asking: ‘So is there a name for everything, then?’”

Current status: horizontal at El Pescadero

E.B. White in Here Is New York:

“New York blends the gift of privacy with the excitement of participation; and better than most dense communities it succeeds in insulating the individual (if he wants it, and almost everybody wants or needs it) against all enormous and violent and wonderful events that are taking place every minute.”

If you’re wondering how Starlink is going, at my local Todos Santos (Baja California Sur, Mexico) post office today there 16 new Starlink packages and they say that every day there’s “lots.”

Why is no-one talking about how most movies are just made up in people’s brains?!

Sad. The person typing this has finally given up on the dream of eternal youth and is scaling back his dream of More Space to Default.

Popped up to say hi then went back down again

Hola

I’ve lived around the ocean my whole life and I’ve never seen the ocean as angry and ferocious as I have at Todos santos, Baja California Sur, this week.

In so many ways existing on earth has never been better with threat of war or famine never being lower for so many of us. But for 339 million people in 2023 things aren’t so rosy. The New Humanitarian writes: Why these 10 humanitarian crises demand your attention now.

Currently reading: The Creative Act by Rick Rubin 📚

Rick Rubin is the guest on episode 649 of the Tim Ferris show and this is one of those podcasts you really want to listen to.

“Look for what you notice that no-one else sees.”

Robert Henri’s quote is quoted and man, this is sitting with me all day every day:

“The object isn’t to make art, it’s to be in that wonderful state that makes art inevitable”

This is a good listen.

Somehow both our girls have learned to pose like this and I have no idea how, or why, or where it’s from.

Craig Hockenberry, of Icon Factory and Twitterific fame, unloads on Space Karen.

In 1978, neurologist Dr. James Austin proposed that there are 4 types of luck:

(1) Blind Luck (2) Luck from Motion (3) Luck from Awareness (4) Luck from Uniqueness

Sahil details them in this tweet thread.

Passport Photos is a very fun and cool photo series by Max Siedentopf.

Weird ass reason why Morgan Freeman and sailors wear two earrings

Steve Jobs on how asking for help is a superpower:

“I’ve never found anybody that didn’t want to help me if I asked them for help. I called up Bill Hewlett (founder of HP) when I was 12 years old. He answered the phone himself. I told him I wanted to build a frequency counter. I asked if he had any spare parts I could have. He laughed. He gave me the parts. And he gave me a summer job at HP working on the assembly line putting together frequency counters. I have never found anyone who said no, or hung up the phone. I just ask. Most people never pick up the phone and call. And that is what separates the people who do things, versus the people who just dream about them. You have to act.”

Polina Pompliano with 15 People on the Most Important Question They’ve Ever Been Asked.

“Would you do this if you weren’t being paid?”

I’ve never felt more inadequate and stupid as a person whilst reading this essay and list of recommendations for writing good English prose by David Bentley Hart.

My favourite fiction/not-really-not-fiction book of 2022 was Russian Sleeper Cell by Nathan Monk 📚

Reading Publishers Weekly top twenty-five bestseller list is something I’m finding depressing, not because of the content of the list, but the numbers. So few books are being read. Props to Colleen Hoover, someone I’d never heard of before now, for having eight books on that list, it sounds like romance still sells.

It’s been twenty years since Bill Gates expressed his frustration at his own operating system and the team behind it on how hard it was to install Windows Movie Maker and honestly, computers are only slightly more useable today.

Ok then, photorapture it is

In every intellectual relationship there’s the person who recommends podcast episodes, and there’s the other person who doesn’t even listen to the recommended episodes.

In my and Scott’s relationship, I’m the recommending party.

But as is the fashion of the other person the two episodes of the one podcast that Scott recommended I listen this week, this is a banger.

Hallelujah, an episode of Malcolm Gladwell’s Revisionist History, is possibly one of the most thought provoking 30 minutes of my life.

The single idea that at the point of release, the moment of deliverance, the second you ship this creative work, that it’s more than likely not done yet, terrifies me.

We live a life today where I do a thing and it’s done and we move on.

Contemplating that Leonard Cohen’s Hallelujah took the journey documented in this podcast, I’m going to sit with this for so long.

Please listen to this, then message me and let me know what you thought.

The Home Owners Association is not going to be happy

🏡 at El Pescadero, Baja California Sur, Mexico

I’m not going to lie, I don’t have to hug everyone I marry when I first see them at the ceremony, but I want to.

Alani & Ethan #marriedbyjosh on the Gold Coast with the Elopement Collective

Luna asked me to play some fairy songs. So I search for such a thing in Apple Music.

Seth Godin in his post, The platform and the curator, on the difference between current platforms like Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, TikTok and traditional platforms like radio, newspapers, and TV:

“Platform leaders understood that their decision to promote something instead of everything was a key part of their job.”

Friday afternoon at Pescadero

My friend Jay has made a really beautiful documentary about being a digital nomad, remote working around the Arctic Circle.

Joe Mayall in There’s No “Woke Capitalism.” Only Capitalism:

“Profit: By any means necessary.”

“Companies seek profit. Everything else is just a means to an end.”

The spare tyre for our car sits up and under the body of the car, under the front seats. Myself and the tyre guy took quite a while to figure this all out.

Quick little shoutout for a new series of daily/weekly emails I’ve recently subscribed to and actually really like. The formatting in the email is really nice, as is the writing and content: Semafor.

Just between you and me most of the time when I’m alone and approach the car as the driver in the USA or Mexico I approach the passenger side accidentally so I still open the passenger door, pretend to look for something, then proceed to the driver’s side of the car.

Dataism, the newest religion on the block

Meghan O’Gieblyn in The Believer posits that AI is a new god, the god of Dataism.

“Science was supposed to have banished God, but he keeps turning up in our latest technologies. He is the ghost lurking in our data sets, the cockroach hiding beneath the particle accelerator.”

Going on to this banger:

“Just as according to Christianity we humans cannot understand God and His plan, so Dataism declares that the human brain cannot fathom the new master algorithms.”

Thirteen years ago I read this on Seth Godin’s blog and it’s sat with me every day since:

“One option is to struggle to be heard whenever you’re in the room … another is to be the sort of person who is missed when you’re not. The first involves making noise. The second involves making a difference.”

All I want to in this life is make a difference. Nothing in me wants to make a noise.

My 2023 challenge is to get really good at modern search engine optimisation, which is pretty different to 2019’s SEO. So I’ve got a new project using Superstash, and it’s a celebrant directory. How original, Josh.

You look at this photo and think it’s some kind of grand cathedral in Rome. It’s a storage room in Ravello.

Every week, sometimes every day, Britt and my inbox is filled with couples worrying about what happens if it rains, or if it’s too hot, or if something something. All valid worries, but they don’t stress us out too much because we always find a way. We’ll always find a storage room on the Amalfi Coast that also just happens to be an epic location for your ceremony.

That’s what we do. We look for solutions, not problems.

Any chimp can find a problem. We find a storage room, move all the things being stored, and then walk you into a sacred place where you can exchange vows intimately, in private, with joy and peace.

This is Raimie and Kelly on the Amalfi Coast in Villa Cimbrone with the Elopement Collective and Joey & Jase.

16 years ago today the way I viewed the world changed completely. I can still remember seeing that little lump of plastic and metal in Steve Jobs’s hand, watching a video stream, and thinking that everything changed. Today that remains ever so.

I believe that you can measure the meaning of something by imagining taking it away. What would life be like if we didn’t have it? Like earlier today I mused to a friend that if a certain media property disappeared, no one would notice.

Imagine a world without the iPhone. You might point to Android phones, but 16 years ago today the team developing Android ‘started over’ and despite the common argument that iPhone copies Android’s leadership, on that day, Android took iPhone’s lead.

Even comparing the two, Android was just a software platform under development. iPhone was hardware and software. Not long after it became a software development platform and the world as we know it today changed completely. Services you take for granted were enabled that day.

16 years is nothing special, but every year when this date rolls around, and the subsequent anniversaries, I reflect how years later we’ve not experienced a tectonic shift like that since.

“Make something wonderful and put it out there." You sure did, Apple. You sure did.

When you elope in a far-away destination you’re choosing a very different vibe and moment than a domestic elopement. It firmly places your ceremony - the beginning of your marriage - in the middle of an adventure. Between customs, packing, flights, delays, transfers, language barriers, different foods and weather, it’s impossible to not revel in the moment as you take a deep breath of that fresh international air and exchange vows with me and the @elopementcollective in some epic location like Italy, Iceland, or anywhere in-between.

I’m up for a European wedding adventure any day of the week, but in June and July 2024 I’ll be there with The Elopement Collective plus House of Lucie and Jason Corroto.

More info available in my email my name at my last name dot co or withers.co/europe.

This is me with Stuart and Chelsea outside of some epic villa in Tuscany, Italy, with Jason Lucas a few years ago. Epic trip.

I chose a Kindle Scribe

A few days ago I ordered a latest generation Kindle Oasis and a new Kindle Scribe with the intention of only keeping one to replace my six year old Kindle Oasis who’s battery barely lasted a day.

Today a UPS driver picks one up to take it back home to Bezos, and I’m keeping the Kindle Scribe.

Why?

Kindle Scribe Pros:

  • Nice and big
  • USB-C charging
  • notepad and pencil input for note taking and signing paperwork
  • so big
  • all the Remarkable 2 you want with the benefit of all the Kindle you want
  • new fancy product

Kindle Scribe Cons:

  • so very big
  • no buttons
  • too big
  • a little heavy
  • Kindle OS is still crappy and salesy
  • new product, 1.0 version sadness

I have a long and beautiful history of catching up with friends in weird and wonderful places. I just had lunch with someone I’m pretty sure I met in the first month or so of my radio career, about 20 years ago, in a Mexican restaurant in Franklin, Tennessee.

The rubbish being pushed by Instagram Reels is astonishingly bad. Jacob Sweet unveils some of the nonsense in the New Yorker.

Currently reading: Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters by Meg Meeker 📚

I’m only two pages into this book and already I’m sensing something important. Good parenting isn’t the theatre most think it is. It’s in the substance, not the theatre.

Steve Jobs: The thinker and the doer

Steve Jobs in 1990:

“My observation is that the doers are the major thinkers. The people that really create the things that change this industry are both the thinker and doer in one person. And if we really go back and we examine, you know, did Leonardo have a guy off to the side that was thinking five years out in the future what he would paint or the technology he would use to paint it? Of course not. Leonardo was the artist, but he also mixed all his own paints. He also was a fairly good chemist. He knew about pigments, knew about human anatomy. And combining all of those skills together, the art and the science, the thinking and the doing, was what resulted in the exceptional result. And there is no difference in our industry. The people that have really made the contributions have been the thinkers and the doers.”

Elderly lady walking her dog with a Bluetooth speaker blaring Li’l Jon’s 2002 banger, Get Low. Stay cool, Nashville.

Dear the United States of America,

I would like to submit my application to become your house’s Speaker. I’m of the understanding than you do not currently have a speaker, and you are in need of a speaker. It just so happens that speaking is one of the few things on this planet that I am really good at.

Attached is photographic evidence of me at to Kirsten and Todd’s wedding speaking quite well, you will notice them as much as I speak really good, I also slide into the background of the story if the photographer uses the correct aperture.

For references, please see my Google and Facebook page reviews, where I maintain an almost five star rating, with the exception of a few random spam accounts that have left me one star reviews without any reason.

It is possible that me being an Australian currently residing in Mexico may be an issue, but for the next week, I am still in Tennessee. If you are willing to give me a green card, I am willing to speak at your house.

I am also available for weddings, parties, anything.

Yours sincerely, the next speaker of the United States of America, Josh “Married By Josh” Withers.

Tasted fine Kentucky Angel’s Envy bourbon with a Great Indiana Man™️

Roadtrip to meet an old friend for the first time

Naval in Don’t Rely on Credibility Stamps:

“It’s a priesthood. You’re only allowed to say what the priests have approved, and you can only say that if you are a priest, and the priests get to decide who’s a priest.”

My new favourite parable: "sleep late, catch a few fish"

Just discovered my favourite parable:

A businessman is sitting on the beach of a small fishing village when he sees a fisherman approach the shore with his daily haul. Impressed by the quality of the fish, the businessman asks the fisherman how long it took him to bring in his catch.

“Just a short while,” the fisherman replies.

“Why don’t you stay out longer to catch more fish?” the businessman asks.

“Because this is all I need.”

“But then what do you do with your time?”

“I sleep late, catch a few fish, play with my kids, take a nap with my wife, and then join my buddies in town to drink wine and play guitar,” the fisherman responds.

The businessman is shocked. He explains that he has an MBA, and that if the fisherman follows his advice, he could help him grow his business. “You could buy a bigger boat,” the businessman says, “and use the proceeds to open your own cannery.”

“Then what?” the fisherman asks.

“You could move to the city to open a distribution center.”

“And then what?”

“You could expand your business internationally and eventually take your company public,” the businessman says. “When the time is right, you could sell your shares and become very rich.”

“And then what?”

“Well, then you can retire, move to a small fishing village, sleep late, catch a few fish, play with your kids, take naps with your wife, and join your buddies in town to drink wine and play guitar.”

The fisherman smiles at the businessman and continues down the beach.

Better times

This nugget from Cory Muscara is sitting well with my soul today: “We often need to get out of alignment with the rest of the world to get back into alignment with ourselves.”

Kindle Oasis or a Kindle Scribe - which will be my new normal?

My second Amazon Kindle is a Kindle I’ve owned since late 2016, my first generation Kindle Oasis. It’s been a solid travel companion but after six years its battery barely lasts a day and I’m hot for something new. I’ve been waiting for a 2022/2023 release of a new Oasis and when the Scribe was released I started thinking this might not occur.

So while I was in native Amazon territory where deliveries are quick and returns are easily done at Whole Foods, I thought I’d buy both - the latest Kindle Oasis and the new Kindle Scribe - and return the one I liked the least.

🦇

🐸

This bloke was just chilling but when he saw I had a camera he came and stood next to his sign as if he was at an animal trade show manning a booth

Monkey business

Live footage of me trying to find a better deal on insurance by comparing deals available on the market

Breaking news: not all flamingos are pink

My favourite Apple Watch feature is New Year’s Day

I’ve assembled a top 10 list of top 10 lists I’m paying attention to this year:

1-10: .

Noah Smith in The internet wants to be fragmented:

“Perhaps someday the human race will be ready to become one collective consciousness. But the experiment of the 2010s shows that this day is not today. Let the internet once more be an escape — a place where you can find your people and be happy. Let us learn to speak a thousand different languages once again. Let the Tower of Babel fall.”

Neighbourhood fireworks > City provided fireworks

Water damage and damage electrical damage to the house were housesitting thanks to frozen water pipes over Christmas means we’re bringing in New Year’s Eve with CNN via MacBook. Hilariously the internet just died.

Vale 2022

Being in Tennessee for New Year’s Eve this year has really revealed to me How annoying it must be to be an American with Australian friends. You wake up here to blurry fireworks photos from Oz then everyone goes to bed and it’s still half a day until NYE here.

Reflecting back over 2022 the one thing I can say for sure is that it’s been 21 years and I still haven’t forgotten about Dre

As lovely as it is, TikTok is candy from Chinese spies and really ought to be banned purely on national security reasons. More at daringfireball.net by John @Gruber.

Another day, another Airbnb, another part of Tennessee, another sunset. Seems cyclical.

Ted Gioia documents the story of Barnes and Noble’s rebirth and regrowth:

“Daunt refused to play this game. He wanted to put the best books in the window. He wanted to display the most exciting books by the front door. Even more amazing, he let the people working in the stores make these decisions. This is James Daunt’s super power: He loves books.”

Boring kids

A Squirrel’s tale

So a white Christmas in Nashville is pretty cool

Old mate out on the back fence of our Airbnb in Nashville this morning is a bit cold.

Merry Christmas from The Withers, Tennessee edition.

Please let it be true, that 2023 is the year of RSS. Death to big tech running our conversations, our views, our beliefs, our relationships and our careers.

That cold front hits Franklin, Tennessee and its -18 degrees Celsius but feels like negative 30.

So so cold

Where you from? Australians: Australia. Americans: Town, State, GPS Coordinates, local landmarks, name of their neighbour.

I’ve been in Nashville less than 24 hours and the Christmas miracles have already begun

It is well

and with that the 2022 wedding season comes to an end

State of The Withers union, 20 December 2022

Waiting in an airport lounge for a flight to Dallas after wrapping up all my wedding bookings in Australia I thought I’d answer a few questions.

Matt asked for Tequila ratings. Mike asked Why Mexico? Kristie asked why people fly their celebrant around the world for weddings, why not get someone local? Dan asked What’s the best low-key wedding I’ve done. Steele demanded an answer. Chantell asked how often I meet with my couples to do personalised ceremonies I can do without a script. Luke asked about any time saving tips in business. Mel asked if I was quitting weddings now?

I’ve almost escaped Australia, just waiting for that delay to Dallas to stop being a delay

Pretty proud to see our AirBnb - The Tugun Pause - featured as a best Gold Coast AirBnb beach house and also best Gold Coast pet-friendly accomodation!

Have you ever wondered what the last tweet will be?

Update on my Playdate pre-order/order that I’ve been salivating over since 2019: they were kind enough to move me to American shopping and it’s now in the mail!

You’re Being Lied to About Electric Cars writes Jonny Lieberman:

“Science has repeatedly shown EVs are better for humans, despite the meme you just retweeted.”

What a dramatic moment: Just dropped in to get a haircut from my favourite barber before I fly back to North America on Tuesday and he’s quitting his job as I walk in! Awkwardly shakes my hand then gets his stuff and leaves!

Really proud of how The Sizzle has grown. You deserve all the success, Anthony/@decryption.

“If you find yourself asking yourself (and your friends), ‘Am I really a writer? Am I really an artist?’ chances are you are. The counterfeit innovator is wildly self-confident. The real one is scared to death.”

I’m selling a 245L Hisense freezer if anyone is interested, like this totally genuine buyer.

24 hours in the town I grew up in: Mackay

24 hours in the town I grew up in.

My first ISP: still going My first job at the cinema: cinema closed down Fav restaurant: still going First nightclub: closed down Eimeo Pub: still going Sun shining on: Mackay Sun not shining on: Sarina Bridge I sat in traffic on whilst there was a bikie gang shootout: still going. School wear I became reel smart: still going. RIP: Mackay’s only space station

Growing up in Central Queensland meant your coastline was always filled with ships taking coal and sugar to the world.

I really weirdly always feel alone when I look at a coastline and see no ships.

So it’s been nice to be back in Mackay for a few hours.

Before we get too excited about fusion energy, space travel and flying cars, it’s important to remember that this is how Australia Post wants me to find a lost package, with details from a Windows 2000 screenshot and calling a national hotline.

My favourite thing about flying out of regional locations in Australia is that you can be having coffee with a mate just before the flight, watch the flight coming to land which, means you should probably get up and drive to the airport so you can walk on just-in-time.

iOS 16.2 means we can listen to music without the lyrics for focused work

Chatted to a flight attendant today who is proudly quitting and taking a job with Virgin after Christmas because of all the “negativity at Jetstar” which is hard to believe because Jetstar seems like it would be the loveliest place to work if you hate existing.

Such a Century Gothic welcome

Is flying with your pillow a thing? Half the passengers disembarking and about the same boarding my flight have pillows. It’s an 11am 90 minute flight!

How is Jetstar the only Australian airline fully utilising the Apple Wallet API with flight and gate updates and heaps of info inside the ticket info page?

Nine years ago I had an internet-enabled egg tray. I feel like technology has not really advanced past this milestone.

It’s absolutely glorious reading the reactions to the introduction of the push button.

“The fact that so often in modern America one may press a button and be served, seems to relieve one of any necessity for responsibility about what goes on behind the button?”

Oxford University was over 300 years old when the Aztec Empire was founded - more unlikely simultaneous events over at Kottke.

The invention of jaywalking by Clive Thompson.

“You have to think anyway, so why not think big?”

back in my safe place: “going somewhere”

A week in Tasmania

Hey, you guys wanna play old people’s Seven Minutes in Heaven?

Novelist Jeanette Winterson on the value of darkness:

“I have noticed that when all the lights are on, people tend to talk about what they are doing — their outer lives. Sitting round in candlelight or firelight, people start to talk about how they are feeling – their inner lives. They speak subjectively, they argue less, there are longer pauses.

To sit alone without any electric light is curiously creative. I have my best ideas at dawn or at nightfall, but not if I switch on the lights — then I start thinking about projects, deadlines, demands, and the shadows and shapes of the house become objects, not suggestions, things that need to done, not a background to thought.”

AI loves a good beach deer: “brown deer on white sand beach during daytime photo”

Imma start sending this to everyone I ever meet so they know how to rate me when the social credit system from Black Mirror finally comes into play.

Brian Eno:

“One of the reasons I have to take distinct breaks when I work is to allow the momentum of a particular direction to run down, so that another one can establish itself.”

Ted Gioia:

“Mr. Zuckerberg’s ideal Metaverse is just a panopticon—those infamous prisons where every inmate can be scrutinized simultaneously.”

Chris Dixon:

“What the smartest people do on the weekend is what everyone else will do during the week in 10 years.”

Well, that will be the last time I ever take hot or not advice from Balenciaga.

The couple I married today at Freycinet’s Honeymoon Bay married in secret (after booking me four years and a pandemic ago) so I tried my hand at double-exposures and blurry photos.

Annie-B Parson:

“Social media forms are performative solo forms with an odd conflation of friendship and marketing; the body is alone in a room performing the self, with an undercurrent of desire for applause. Without a town square to gather in and hash out the day with neighbors, social media communications have a shading of loneliness underneath.”

Today milestones:

11yrs ago Rhi and Jarryd became official. 10yrs ago Rhi found me on Instagram. 9 yrs ago I quit 4BC, went full time as a celebrant, and got on Nine’s Today Show as the “celebrant that only does cool weddings” 🤮 Today I married Jarryd & Rhi at sunrise in the Byron Bay rainstorm before flying to Hobart.

Today is day 10 away from my family. I embarked on this trip to Australia thinking I’d get lots of sleep and rest from being a dad. Instead of barely slept and miss them like crazy. Please don’t tell them, they already hold too much power over me.

Three reasons why Mastodon will succeed followed by three reasons Mastodon will fail

  1. Mastodon’s celebration of the open web, the indie web, is an evergreen celebration that enough people, me included, will always get onboard with.

  2. Mastodon is everything we’re looking for in Twitter except it’s not Twitter.

  3. No one single ego can rule the Mastodon, fediverse, indieweb, open web. Instead many many egos can, will, and do.

  4. Mastodon isn’t a complete social media product, still requiring many features to even gain parity with what the average internet user considers the bare minimum for a social networking product. Today I couldn’t upload a video because it was too good of a quality.

  5. The business model of Mastodon/the Fediverse is missing links that only generosity can complete. Which is nice amongst friends. But all of us generous admins, hosts, mods have our limits (or jobs, kids, relationships). That’s the strength begging Micro.Blog, $5 a month and you’re good.

  6. It’s actually a lot of work and resource to run a Mastodon instance still. Digital Ocean’s $200 free spend will run out soon.

Travel hack for New Zealand is to fly out of Queenstown Airport because they have a special check in counter for frequent flyers.

If you’re thinkin' of being my burger it don’t matter if you’re black or white

Glacier to Ground pop-up waterfall

The Mātukituki River valley

ZQN bound

How am I supposed to drive five hours on an Ice Break

I’m sitting in row three - the last row - of business class on this flight from Canberra to Brisbane after being upgraded overnight and the Queensland Premier just walked past me to economy.

How did the Qantas algorithm put me ahead of Palaszczuk?!

Couple I’m marrying tomorrow: We’d like to have an entertaining and funny wedding ceremony. Me: Oooh, I’m going to have to Google how to do that. Them: Awkward silence.

🎶 It must be hard for musicians and songwriters to try and produce better songs than the best song ever produced, Frenzal Rhomb’s Mr. Charisma.

The internet is more fun when you upload as much as you download. When you stop, comment, post, share instead of doom scroll. People create and also consume, not just consume consume consumer consume.

Re: Bird app

Cute. On the news that the leap second is being removed, Rev. Pavel Gabor, an astrophysicist and the vice director of the Vatican Observatory Research Group in Tucson, Arizona said that,

“atomic timekeeping was just one example of how the world was becoming incomprehensible to the average person, and that scientists had a responsibility to help people feel in control of their lives.”

And he went on to say,

“I think sensitivity to this mistrust of elites, mistrust of experts, mistrust of science and institutions, that’s something that’s a very real problem in today’s world,” he said. “And let’s not contribute to it.”

I’m so looking forward to the world returning to normalcy and peace in 2035 when the leap second is removed.

Breaking: news.

You take a six week break in Mexico and your phone gets real judgemental

Philip Glass:

”I don’t know what I’m doing. And if you don’t know what to do, there’s actually a chance of doing something new. As long as you know what you’re doing, nothing much of interest is going to happen.”

It’s not often you get Coolangatta and Surfers Paradise in the same photo. But that’s what happens when I’m back in Australia :)

Current status: Getting wasted on old fashioneds in the Los Angeles Qantas First Class Lounge.

I don’t think Trump will even make it to the Republican Nomination for President, let alone the actual Presidency. The Trump voter hates losers more than lefties and abortions.

I’ve been talking about switching social networks for a decade now …

Having my first experience of Live Activities on the latest iOS software. The app that is “live” is Flighty, and I really like this. The only negative is that 4G/3G/wifi is terrible here.

To chool for school

Experiencing the weirdest vibe right now. I’m packing to leave home for a month, and the place I’m travelling to is Australia. I never thought Australia would be somewhere I travel to, only from.

Dane Winer:

“Twitter inherited the blogosphere, in a sense, and the chaos of the company hid the fact that it was owned, all that we put into it, we owned none of it. It could all be sold.”

Sharing God’s Law from Letters of Note, as seen multiple times around the internet and on The West Wing, now in it’s original form, by Kent Ashcraft:

Dear Dr. Laura,

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God’s law. I have learned a great deal from you, and I try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend homosexuality, for example, I will simply remind him or her that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate.

I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the other laws in Leviticus and Exodus and how to best follow them.

When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord (Leviticus 1:9). The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. How should I deal with this?

I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as stated in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness (Leviticus 15:19-24). The problem is, how can I tell?

I have tried asking, but most women take offense. Leviticus 25:44 states that I may buy slaves from the nations that are around us. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify?

I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?

A friend of mine says that even though eating shellfish is an abomination (Leviticus 10:10), it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don’t agree. Can you settle this?

Leviticus 20:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?

I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God’s Word is eternal and unchanging.

Your devoted disciple and adoring fan.

I think about this email that Steve Jobs wrote to himself a lot

Touché Google Translate

Watching Seinfeld and the episode ‘The Limo’ starts. Opening scene is at a NY airport and a Trump airline Boeing 727.

Of course the only Trump cameo in an episode of Seinfeld is one from 1992, about the neo nazi.

Rancho Pescadero, the new old kid on the block, just re-opened. Keen as mustard to start making weddings there!

❤️ El Pescadero, Baja California Sur

"You are all your work has"

Maeve Brennan in a letter to Tillie Olsen via Letters of Note:

“I have been trying to think of the word to say to you that would never fail to lift you up when you are too tired or too sad not [to] be downcast. But I can think only of a reminder—you are all it has. You are all your work has. It has nobody else and never had anybody else. If you deny it hands and a voice, it will continue as it is, alive, but speechless and without hands. You know it has eyes and can see you, and you know how hopefully it watches you. But I am speaking of a soul that is timid but that longs to be known. When you are so sad that you ‘cannot work’ there is always a danger fear will enter in and begin withering around. A good way to remain on guard is to go to the window and watch the birds for an hour or two or three. It is very comforting to see their beaks opening and shutting.”

Britt & I toured around this new resort, Rancho Pescadero, last week to talk about making weddings there. Those oceanview rooms are actually built into dunes & the cactus were geotagged then replanted back into the same exact locations. Only $3k a night on the beach there!

This is Noah Sushi in Pescadero. The best sushi I have ever tasted, and I’ve had good sushi, even in Japan. It’s on a dirt road, with no signage, and no fancy tables inside. People come from hundreds of kilometres around to enjoy it.

Baja is wild.

Street names in Baja are wild, in that they barely exist. To prove my residence/address I need to show an electrical bill. So this street a few blocks from our house is hilariously named.

It’s named after a gardener who still lives in that street, and drinks multiple litres of alcohol a day. His nick name is “Litre” or in Spanish “Litro”. So a gringo who loves him had a street sign made, attached to the pole at the start of the street, now everyone calls it Litro Street.

In the future we won’t share our most intimate stories with, and through, the world’s biggest tech companies. Mastodon and blogs might not be the complete indieweb story, but it’s at least in the first or second chapter.

I’ll never forget today. The day that my 20 month old daughter, whilst holding a banana, screamed for another banana, but when she had two, realised she only wanted one.

The classic B1 and B2 dilemma.

A proposal: a social network owned by creators

Social networks have three assets: a network effect (so we can connect with people), content moderation (so we can actually enjoy using it), content (so we have something to enjoy/consume).

The content creators have always been at the bottom of the stack. Underpaid and under-appreciated," by the social network owners.

So what if we made a Twitter owned by us?

There’s a turning tide against Twitter and Meta towards Mastodon, and honestly Mastodon is pretty good. It’s decentralised in that you can sign up to any Mastodon server/instance and talk to other people on other instances, that’s called federation. It’s one of the tentpole features of Mastodon. Federation, or the fediverse, means you can sign up to, for example, the @mastodon.social instance and if I’m in @aus.social, we can talk to each other.

But if we’re both on the same instance there’s some nice ways of discovering other people and other content, in particular discovering people and content on the same server.

Plus the instance you choose to be on has a brand story. If you’re communicating how to find and follow you on Mastodon there’s a branding aspect. Imagine saying on a podcast “follow me at Josh at Mastodon dot social” as opposed to “follow me at Josh at cool name dot com.” It can’t be long until corporations and large brands take the opportunity to start their own instance.

So what if content creators got in early and had our own network?

That’s my proposal, to start a Mastodon instance owned and run by content creators. Podcasters, writers, newsletter writers, vloggers, video makers, photographers, personalities, broadcasters - creators. Because we’d own the network we’d reap the benefits, instead of sending them to VCs, corporations, or Elon Musk/Zuckerberg.

Because all the creators have existing networks - and products - we’d flex our influence to bring audiences to the new network. Also, in case it’s not obvious, nothing will be taken away from your existing work. What changes is that instead of providing Twitter and Meta with free content that upholds the network effect that feeds their shareholders/stakeholders, you’re providing free content to build and uphold your own network that operates like a co-op content farmers market.

I own the domain name ‘theradio.au’ and I reckon it’d be kind of cool to say ‘follow me at Josh at theradio dot au’ in a video or a link o my profile being theradio.au/@josh … or insert your content brand in place of Josh.

I like the generic-ish name, and the idea of “I’m on the radio” as a term of phrase for using the social media platform, particularly as actually being on the FM/AM radio means so little.

I’m open to listening to ideas around how to start, run, and do this well. There are costs to running a Mastdon instance and because the benefits run to creators I’d look to creators to fund the project. With enough people it might be $50-100 a year, and I see the incentives run in the right direction if creators fund and own it. Other business models lend themselves to other incentives and next minute you’re owned by Elon Musk.

Weigh in on the social platform of your choice or email me at josh@withers.co.

Siri, one of the foremost artificial Intelligences, thinks I should call in to the Airbnb to check out. Thanks mate.

Apparently I don’t share my photography enough (sorry, Zac) so it’s mostly on Unsplash.

There you go ya filthy tech-news-lovin animals.

Gosh it irritates me when ‘down south’ writes the national news stories as if no-one from ‘up north’ reads it // @crikey_news @emmaels

My favourite thing about Mastodon actually has nothing to do with Mastodon. It’s the experience of embracing a completely new network with a handful of existing connections but then start following new people creating a whole new social graph whilst screaming “HELLO NEW FRIENDS!”

James Hennessy in The Terminal:

“His primary motivator at this point is the absolutely daunting mathematics of the deal he signed … saddled it with $13 billion in debt and about a billion dollars a year in interest payments alone.”

A few thoughts on Mastodon at the end of day one:

The network brand name is stupid and not sticky, as is “toot”.

Running your own instance is not the best, but it’s not like there’s a perfect instance to join.

Following people is too hard.

It’s a nice system and I like it.

Fish tacos, margaritas, a mariachi band, all on the beach. A perfect night on the Sea of Cortez.

Balandra

I could imagine this hanging on a wall somewhere, I’m really proud of it. On the left there you’ve got what the Mexicans say is there best beach, nationwide.

Playa Balandra (Balandra Beach).

Fifty shades of blue

I decided I was being a grumpy old man by not even trying Mastodon - I think it has a stupid name for a modern product, great for an extinct elephant - but I’ve signed up … @josh@withers.online is me. Who should I follow?

One of us, and I won’t say who, just fell off the bed and landed face first on the tiled floor

On the Sea of Cortez, near La Paz, today

I can handle my parents being disappointed in me, my wife, children and friends. All of your disappointments will come and go.

But man, letting Duolingo down, this cuts deep.

Notes for my gravestone

“This is not a verification status; it’s an Important Blue Internet Checkmark, which in 2022 is just as legit. Also the Important Blue Internet Checkmark may turn into a bunch of crabs at any time 🦀”

Finally, the BeReal competitor I’ve been waiting for: TweetReal.

Day 30 in Mexico: Still haven’t joined a drug cartel. Fish tacos are amazing. Send coffee.

Trung Phan on the “massive” podcast opportunity he’s identified, and something I’ve thought about a lot:

“Whatever your niche, a single person on a mic in their home can create the definitive long-form audio content for whatever is their “most valuable audience”. It’s a very simple idea …but not easy.”

So apparently the Commonwealth marriage celebrants portal and database was hacked … just a program run by the Commonwealth Attorney-General’s department …

Is swashbuckling still a thing?

Why don’t we use the word “swashbuckling” more? It’s a very cool word.

The MacOS dictionary defines swashbuckling as an adjective as “engaging in daring and romantic adventures with bravado or flamboyance” and as a noun “daring and romantic adventure.”

It came to mind as I read Margaret Sullivan’s book, Newsroom Confidential, and she recalled the story of Jeff Bezos addressing the Washington Post staff:

“Even in the world of journalism, I think the Post is just a little more swashbuckling. There’s a little more swagger. There’s a tiny bit of bad-assness here at the Post.” After some applause and laughs from the exuberant crowd, Bezos elaborated on those words with some context: “Without quality journalism, swashbuckling would just be dumb. Swashbuckling without professionalism leads to those epic-fail YouTube videos. It’s the quality journalism at the heart of everything. And then when you add that swagger and that swashbuckling, that’s making this place very, very special.”

My new life goal is to be described as swashbuckling.

It’s weird to see so much talk about Mastodon and people walk right past micro.blog. I’ve been a user since @manton launched it on Kickstarter, and I think I heard about it on @gruber’s Talk Show - I love it.

Missed the eclipse, but caught sunrise this morning

We’re heading back to Hawaii in mid-January and it got me thinking about the last time I was there and I created a marriage ceremony across the bay from Aerosmith’s Steven Tyler house.

I’ll never know if Steve witnessed me in my element on Maui, but they’ve never officially said what I Don’t Want to Miss a Thing was about …

Anyway, this is just your regular reminder that I make epic marriage ceremonies from Ipswich to Iceland and everywhere between.

Apple Frames is the ultimate shortcut that most Apple computer users don't know about

Over seven years since Workflow first graced the Apple ecosystem - since then being acquired by Apple and renamed Shortcuts which makes it so easy to Google for information about - it’s still a little-known tool on the iPhone, iPad, and Mac.

My favourite shortcut - it’s the ultimate shortcut - created by the ultimate Shortcuts guy, Federico Viticci at Macstories, is Apple Frames. The shortcut has just been updated to its third version and is ever more powerful and works even better.

You feed the shortcut one or more screenshots you’ve taken on the device, and it inserts the screenshot into an Apple device frame, so the resultant image carries more context. Examples beneath of some quick single screenshots, and three iPhone screenshots shared together in one image.

Get the shortcut here.

We don't have a Trump/Musk/political problem, we have a being human problem

I am continually fascinated whilst reading Letters of Note as to how people not of this time, people who lived 50, 100, or 200 years ago talk about the hardships and tribulations of modern life - in their own context - being hard and negative.

Martha Gellhorn in a letter to Raleigh Trevelyan on boxing day 1967 wrote “Do you think it’s at all sensible to wish anyone a Happy New Year? I think the best one can do nowadays is just to wish that we all survive, year by year.”

Or as the preacher spoke to their church a few hundred years before Christ, recorded in the book of Ecclesiastes, “Meaningless! Meaningless! Utterly meaningless! Everything is meaningless!” and they continued, “I have seen all the things that are done under the sun; all of them are meaningless, a chasing after the wind.”

All of humanity, forevermore, just trying to survive, year by year.

Martha Gellhorn in a letter to Victoria Glendinning on 30th September 1987:

“Anyway, I intend to spend the rest of my life wasting time.”

There are two kinds of people in the world, people who confidently pronounce “pho” and the people who anxiously listen to those people say it because they’re sure they’re not saying it right.

I can’t believe that so much valuable conversation is {you should give me all your money} interspersed with ads and unrelated content {gamble your money away!} these days as if it’s a natural way to read and write {you’re so stupid and fat} lol.

Apple executives discussing iMessage for Android is beautifully shortsighted.

We put these people on pedestals but they’re just lucky enough to be considered winners.

Idea: The most important part of Twitter is the feeling of sending the tweet.

No-one sees your tweets anyway, so what if we made a new Twitter where all your followers and replies were just GPT-3 nodes.

An AI social network where computers affirm you and your thoughts.

I’m wondering whether “stay in your medium lane” is good advice for Elon Musk and Twitter today?

I think about Instagram starting as a still photo medium and how I like it less as it has changed lanes. Facebook started as a “friend-to-friend connection” medium, and I like it less as Adam Mosseri has obsessed over Reels and videos.

Twitter started as, and mostly still is, a text medium.

The human brain likes to catalogue and silo things. Twitter is a textual medium, and all of us on it love that about it.

If Twitter wants to evolve to take on YouTube and Facebook and leave text behind, that will be its death knell. Not headwinds in the marketplace, but the fact that those of us that like to read and write text, want to connect and share in a place that champions reading and writing text.

That’s why Imoved my writing and sharing to Micro.blog when it launched. Micro.blog champions text and text sharing, whilst also encouraging you to own your content/text.

If anything was going to take Twitter’s place today, in my humble opinion, it would be Micro.blog, because it has a business plan, it has a network, by design it’s healthy and good for the soul, but it champions the reading and writing of text.

El Arco, Cabo San Lucas

Sunday sunrise from Cabo

“Chinese restaurant”

Evan Amrmstrong at Every on How Elon Wins:

“Twitter is a perfect case study of the shifting power dynamics of the ad market and how to make money in this era of the internet.”

Drove my Chevy to the levee but the levee was dry. Them good old boys were drinking whiskey and rye.

I met Charles Wooley when I was in line to be his producer on what’s now called the Triple M regional radio network.

Smart guy, good interviewer, wasn’t going to leave Tasmania for a big radio job, so they built out the Hobart studios to accomodate him.

I never took the gig, but I was impressed that someone could love where they live so much to the chagrin of a radio job.

In the Sunday Tasmanian today:

“But here I am, after a lifetime travelling the world and interviewing prime ministers, presidents and dictators, now about to engage as deputy mayor of Sorell in what is so often considered the lowly third tier of Tasmanian government.”

Wondering about Unsplash and why my recent work isn't resonating

I’ve been uploading to Unsplash for almost five years, and people always ask why I would submit my work to a website that gives it away mostly for free?

I consider Unsplash my photography mentor and university. Because ultimately, I believe, that good work resonates with people. Firstly it has to resonate with you, but secondly with someone else. It doesn’t have to be the most popular work in the history of work, but a successful artwork resonates with at least as many people as that created it, in my humble opinion.

I started uploading in early 2018.

So back to Unsplash, I’ve shared 505 photos that have been viewed over 152 million times, and downloaded and used over 800 thousand times, making me one of the “1000 most seen contributors ever” which is lovely.

A problem though is my recent work. Work that is arguably better, shot on better cameras, with better lenses, and better colour grading … because I’ve learned and gotten better with better gear.

Of my most viewed photos “of all time” only two photos from the last year are in my top 70 images. After 70 they start appearing a little, but inside the top 70, number 69 is a boring drone shot, and number 8 was an outlier. Luna had woken up early so the two of us wanted to go watch the sun rise, and we both took our cameras.

Obviously the longer a work has been available, the more views and downloads it can get. Secondly, as Unsplash is online longer, I’m assuming more photographers are uploading more work, so the pool gets larger, and the available views and downloads may lessen.

When or why would I leave Unsplash?

I used to think I’d leave Unsplash when I reached 1 million downloads. But I think the truer statement is that I’d stop giving my work away for free, when it resonated with enough people who wanted to pay for it.

How do I reach that number? How do I find those people? I have no idea. The only thing I know to do today is step one, to create, step two and three and four can’t even happen without step one.

Money is nice, but making work that resonates with people, work that makes you and I feel something. That’s like a little bit nicer.

I’ll leave you with my most popular piece, a photo from a backroad before sunrise in Queenstown, New Zealand, shot on my old original DJI Mavic Pro, with just enough light for it to be a sharp and in focus image.

In the Gold Coast Bulletin today @AnnWasonMoore nails it making the biggest losses/mistakes the Gold Coast has experienced. But I’ll add one more: the Indy 300. It was so much more interesting than Supercars, and Aussie driver Will Powers still dominates!

Put a bag of cookies in the break room and it might sit for days.

Open the bag and leave it out, and within an hour, all the cookies will be gone.

We are happy to take a tiny slice off the thing that’s being shared, but we hesitate to open the bag.

The same is true with all of the initiatives in our culture. Design, movements and ideas are all trapped, waiting to be opened, and then the rest of us will happily pile on.

Open the bag.

By an unknown author, from the Startupy newsletter

I think a lot about the guy whose car I ran into on the first day of owning a car in Mexico. I didnt put the car in park or put the handbrake on, classic idiotic move on the first day of driving on the wrong side of the road in a new car.

Scratched his back bumper, lots of talking, making phone calls to family, googling costs to fix, he comes back ready to finish me financially, and asks for $500 pesos. $39.60 AUD.

“Good day” in Spanish is “Buenos días”, phonetically (in Josh Spanish) “beh-wan-ass dee-ass” and I now understand how Australian English must be hard for people learning English because Baja Mexicans basically say an abbreviated “bun dee”, which I guess is “G’Day”.

Cerritos

A Thursday afternoon at Playa Los Cerritos

Just a boy and his favourite seventy to two-hundred millimetres of glass photographed by another boy and his medium format film camera, Jack Fitz at Playa Los Cerritos at sunset.

John Ruskin in a letter to C. E. Norton, 4th Nov 1860:

“I find Penguins at present the only comfort in life. One feels everything in the world so sympathetically ridiculous, one can’t be angry when one looks at a Penguin.”

Computerspielemuseum

Thinking about Berlin’s computer Game Museum, the Computerspielemuseum, today.

It’s the only building in Berlin I can walk into and feel nostalgic and childlike.

Business idea: a coffee translator.

All I want in Mexico is to just order my coffee.

In Australia I order a long black with cream (pouring cream), or if they don’t have cream, with cold milk. I call it a poor man’s latte. All of the coffee, less milk.

A big cup of black coffee, and I take the temperature and black-coffee-ness out of it with a dash of dairy.

In Baja an Americano is basically a long black, but often filter coffee which would be fine if it was lukewarm. An espresso is an espresso shot. A long black doesn’t exist. I got close today, but once I asked for “like an Americano but hot”, they also brought out hot milk, and you don’t want hot milk in this drink.

My fortune for help on how to order a “long black with cream/milk” in Spanish, or in a way that local baristas will understand.

I’m reflecting on the recent Optus hack today as I wonder what to do with my phone number I’ve had for 20 odd years.

So much of modern society needs a phone number to work and to identify us.

New services register with a phone number and text message verification code, trusting that only you would have your phone number or SIM card.

When I turn off my Australian SIM card in Mexico iMessage warns me the clock has started.

It’s kind of ridiculous that something as fragile as a phone number is the backbone of identity.

I think do Dave Winer’s ten year old blog post proposing DNS as a form of ID, but I feel like that would exclude so many normies.

Funnily enough, in many parts of Mexico the police will take your number plate or drivers license back to the police station as that’s the closest the national identity systems don’t really exist here.

How are we supposed to verify who we are? Maybe a blue tick will help?

Reason no. 72 to read James Hennessy’s email:

“I decided to dig into this, because the prospect of an intersection of forgotten Australian pulp lit and Cold War tech development is, regrettably, extremely my shit”

@jrhennessy

Just going on the record before November 2022 hits to say that I had a blue tick before it wasn’t cool.

That’s right, mum. I was verified before @tealou.

Nieman Labs reckons that newspaper political endorsements might not matter anymore. I think that’s for the better?

Gary Voth’s piece, The Forgotten Lens, reminds me why I love the 50mm so much. I only have a vintage Minolta f/2 manual focus lens at the moment but now I want the Canon RF 50mm f/1.2!

Is this mural on the toilet entry wall about menstruation?

Dave Winer with the best Twitter analogy:

“Why would I leave Twitter? It’s like living in NY and not taking the subway. Sure it’s dirty and smells bad, but it’s how you get places.”

The latest in dynamic bus signage technology

Reporting for The Verge, Justine Calma says that

“Traffic jams are tied to lower birth weights.”

It’s almost like us humans are making ourselves extinct eventually.

Someone just got a fire truck for their birthday or the truck celebrated its birthday. Either way, congrats!

Tequila shot $1USD

James Cameron, artist: outside and other and alone

This New Yorker profile of Director, James Cameron, hit home with this line:

“He sees himself as essentially outside and other and alone; he bites the hand that feeds.”

Thats a solid mark of an artist, that they create from the outside-ness, the loneliness, and in doing so they bit the hand that feeds.

Just yesterday a photographer friend and I were lamenting this feeling in ourselves. It’s why I found it so easy to transplant to a new country, maybe why I feel so at home with an airline ticket.

So if you feel alone, you’re not alone, despite the fact you truly are.

Thursday’s sunset

Netflix, One Tel, and me, a nostalgic love triangle

Britt and I are watching Netflix’s new show The Mole at the moment and as that guy who knows Queensland like the back of his hand I’ve been following the filming locations keenly. (If you know what that Daintree resort is, please tell me!)

So as the team reached “The Great Barrier Reef” aka The Whitsundays I immediately recognised the location as Woodward Bay, just a few minutes' drive north of Airlie Beach. Visitors in the past include the King of Morocco, Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman, but most importantly for this story, the owner’s husband, Jodie Rich. Apparently, they all helicoptered in, but I just drove when I visited.

I’ve been brought in - pretty sure it’s 1999 or 2000 - to install two Alcatel PABX telephone systems, one that sits at the front gate, and another in the main compound, connected by fibre optic, to allow the main compound to make and receive phone calls, but also for the fancy new gate to be opened by phone call.

I worked for a local company called Business Solutions, and my experience there has always stuck with me. We were a one-stop shop where we provided actual business solutions, not just products. I still love doing that in businesses today.

Anyhow, I’m on this amazing property that Tom Cruise has just stayed at, and Japanese property developer, Kumagai Gumi, has just dropped $150 million on the property, then sold it to Jodee Rich’s wife for $2.5 million so that’s probably a totally cool and normal transaction.

The whole thing was out of reach of ASIC as One Tel went broke because the husband didn’t own the property that was attributed to him, but his wife did. That’s the kind of business sense that gets you places, like starting your own top-level domain (.CEO) and NFT.NYC, kill me now, this bloke has such an epic legacy of grifting.

Seeing the property in The Mole was cool, it looked so similar twenty years on. It is honestly a really beautiful property. Back then they allegedly had lasers across the bay to keep people out, and as a young bloke, it’s the nicest property I’ve ever stepped foot on. I remember being told that the coffee table was made from a door of a monastery.

Interested in staying the night? It’s only five figures a night.

And if you need a PABX installed in a weird situation twenty years ago, give me a call.

Good business sense tells me it’s time to sell all my beef, children, petrol, and non-essential oils, and buy more computers. Thanks for the revealing graphs, Nick Evershed at The Guardian

The moonrise over the Pacific Ocean was pretty cool tonight

It’s funny how the human brain likes little milestones and we call it “feeling real” … like just now how I put the finishing touches on a Wedding Officiant in Mexico page on my website, and enabled the Squarespace translation webpage feature.

On ya bus

Bob Dylan:

“Boy, I hurried… I hurried for a long time. I’m sorry I did. All the time you’re hurrying, you’re not really as aware as you should be. You’re trying to make things happen instead of just letting it happen. You follow me?”

Tuesday’s sunset from Todos Santos

Punta Gasparino, Baja California Sur

Finally, it happened

I’m a sucker for 360 spherical images, but the places you can view them not-flattened are few. Lightroom online is one, so here’s the link for this one of El Pescadero at sunrise this morning: adobe.ly/3f55Fp3

El Pescadero, the little fishing village we’re calling home this month

Deporte bus

El Pescadero // home

Felt cute, might delete later

Hey, if you ever can’t get a hold of Jesus, lemme know, I’ll send you some Mexican Salvo, a sin remover.

Did Bono actually encourage Tim Cook on services and subscriptions when they worked out the deal to give away Songs of Innocence through iTunes?

Tim Cook in 2014:

“But we’re not a subscription organisation.”

Tim Cook in 2022 (paraphrased):

“Services, services, services, services, services, services, services, services, services, services, services, services, services.

Bono in The Guardian on the birth of U2, that iTunes album and Live Aid:

“I don’t think I voted for the name U2, but I didn’t stop it. I definitely stopped the second suggestion – the Flying Tigers”

I’ve eaten sushi in Japan, Iceland, New York & Vancouver. Australians have made me sushi, Italians, Croatians & Kiwis.

But I never thought the best sushi I’d ever eat was down a dirt road outside of a small village of 3,000 people called Pescadero.

Noah’s was 🤌🏼

I’ve never heard of Haiku photography but I like it.

Breaking news: Luna rode a horsey and she is pretty flippin pumped about the whole idea.

The directions to the Los Sagrados horse rescue we visited today said to go through the Cardone Forest. I was curious what a forest in the desert looks like.

Welcome to the Cardone Forest outside of Pescadero.

A helpful guide to our journey so far.

We like Baja California Sur so much I’m worried we might not see the rest of the country.

Thursday in Todos Santos

A Mexican reformat

Sell everything and start again somewhere else, it’s awesome!

When I first started as a computer tech back in 1998 there was a really complex procedure we’d undertake if a computer just wasn’t working properly. We’d reformat it, wipe everything clean, and reinstall Windows.

I feel like that’s what’s happening to us. A good old fashioned life-defrag, a reinstall of our operating system, getting us back into working order.

2022, the year where Lettuce made the news twice.

My li’l mate, Luna, turns four today. She wants you all to know that she’s a big girl now.

Ted Gioia asks if smart people do books anymore?

“Goodby logos, hello brand logos.”

Sammy J on ABC Melbourne:

‘Acts like a Bureau but always the BOM to me.’

I can’t help but feel that Mark Zuckerberg is a bit off Apple at the moment.

As someone who uses WhatsApp because he’s forced to, not because he wants to, it’s an ugly app and I only get more message spam from Telegram. Every day there’s a new spam-women in my Whatsapp.

Travel money tips: Up Bank vs. Wise vs. Qantas Business Money (Airwallex)

We’re in Mexico at the moment and I have thoughts on spending Australian money abroad. Four years ago today I became an Up Bank customer, and it’s one of the best things I’ve done.

The original sell was that if you had an Up debit Mastercard you could turn up at an international ATM or EFTPOS machine and swipe away without getting dodgy international fees. The payment would be made at the current rate, nothing dodgy or stupid. They lived up to that promise, and they still do today. Britt and I have moved all of our personal banking to Up and love everything about the bank, the app, the debit Mastercards, everything.

If you’re travelling overseas soon I could not recommend Up more. I started as an Up customer for international travel only, and after using the app more and more we became full-time customers.

The only thing Up couldn’t do inside itself was to purchase an international currency and spend that currency overseas. You might want to do this if you are travelling somewhere for a longer period of time than the week or two a holiday might be, like us moving to Mexico. (Side note: Up does have a current partnership with Wise, and I understand it’s just an easier way to transfer money to Wise.)

It looked like the Australian dollar would be going down on the Mexican peso over the next few months so I wanted to hedge against this and purchase some pesos. I have already used Wise (formerly Transferwise) for many international payments for our business, but hadn’t used the issued debit cards or used the international currency bank account feature yet.

Qantas had also launched a “business-grade” version of its Qantas Travel Money product called Qantas Business Money and they had big Qantas points offer available recently, so I took the opportunity to use both products. I moved a considerable amount of Australian Dollars to Qantas Business Money to help us purchase a car here, and then moved a similar amount to Wise for spending money. Qantas Business Money is a Qantas service provided by Airwallex, a Melbourne company with a handful of offices worldwide.

A few points on the three different travel money products.

  • Up has been seamless and worked (AUD->MXN) all the time at point of sale and ATM.
  • My Australian-issued American Express has not worked (AUD->MXN) at point of sometimes.
  • The Wise card has worked (MXN->MXN) at point of sale all but once, and I’m betting that was something at the gas station, as the card worked inside the gas station but not at the attendant’s EFTPOS machine on the forecourt.
  • I transferred Mexican pesos from Wise to a Mexican bank account on a Sunday evening Mexico time and by the time I’d woken up I had received confirmation it had worked and the recipient had received the funds.
  • I transferred Mexican pesos from Qantas Business Money to buy a car on Friday morning at 11am Los Cabos time and it’s just gone 1pm Monday morning and the money still hasn’t arrived to the recipient’s account.
  • AirWallex support is operational 9-5 Monday to Friday Melbourne time. Even inside that time the phone number isn’t answered, and neither is the San Francisco office’s phone number answered. At this stage I am assuming the Airwallex and Qantas Business Money support team is a concrete block in the corner of the office.
  • After doing business in a different country for a week I could not recommend against Qantas and Airwallex more. Do not use them if you want transfers to happen swiftly and wish to have support when things go wrong. I’ve had previous issues with the Qantas Travel Money built into the Qantas Frequent Flyer card, I don’t think anyone at Qantas has actually ever used these products abroad, so neither should you.
  • After three days silence a Qantas Business Money staff member told me that they needed to check for fraud and safety which would be fine if this was communicated, but also they promised the transaction would take place as banks opened today and it has not.

Which banking products should you use?

  • If you are happy with making withdrawals and payments at the going rate at the time, I recommend using Up.
  • If you want to buy foreign currency and spend it abroad, use Wise.
  • I’ve also had success swiping my ANZ Frequent Flyer Blank Visa card but I have only carried that as a backup.
  • I haven’t tested all the Australian bank credit cards, I understand many of them are fine.

Finally, you’re welcome to Google the products and do your own research, you really should, but if you sign up for Up using this link you get $5. If you sign up for Wise using this link you get a fee-free transfer of up to 500GBP and they pay me $90 for every three of you that signs up and transfers $300.

Inherent problems in the internet of 2022

Some inherent problems in the internet of 2022, in my humble opinion:

  1. Everyone is too exposed to everyone else, for example, it’s wild that anyone and everyone can read these words I’m typing. It’s beautiful and wild, but ultimately we aren’t born ready to be so exposed. There’s the smallest number of celebrities that have successfully been in the public spotlight for their whole lives and come out unharmed, and even those that keep a positive public identity have conspiracy theories made up about them (Hi, Tom Hanks). I don’t think we were made to be in community with the whole planet.
  2. Many people want to be more highly exposed, and believe that they are not exposed enough, and think everyone else needs to be exposed to them, their thoughts, their art, their work. We don’t. I’m actually ok with not knowing what Kanye West thinks at the moment.
  3. What happens if the extremists don’t live in the light but decamp off to the shadows? Do they become a problem for society? Do they impose on your and my own safety?

Dear Kanye, get a blog

The most embarrassing thing about Kanye West buying Parler isn’t that he bought Parler, but that he (and most people) think that the world needs a new social media platform.

It’s the internet equivalent of starting or building more and more new gated communities in a town to make it safer and better.

Ultimately the town without gated communities, but the ability to operate without the walls and gates is the better town.

What does that mean on a modern worldwide computing platform like the internet? Get a blog. Use your keyboard, type some words, upload some photos, and share them with your mates. Get a blog roll. Share the love and seek out the things you love.

The future of the internet isn’t in the existing, or new, social networks or walled gardens. It’s in freedom of expression and seeking your own inputs.

At least then when Kanye does something stupid, I just get to choose to not read his blog. But if you want to, you can.

Ted Gioia in the Honest Broker:

“This is a signal that we have reached the endgame (of the internet) stage. And a new game is beginning with totally different recipes for success.”

“This could be Heaven or this could be Hell”

One week in Mexico

  • There’s a difference between good tacos and just tacos, good tacos are more likely to be in less-fancy buildings without flashy signage.
  • Processing your Mexican temporary residency is much harder than they make it sound.
  • Really should have learned more Spanish before getting on the plane.
  • Even a nice Hilton hotel is still, in the end, just a hotel.
  • It’s amazing how terrible a car can be to still be listed for sale here. I looked at a car for 60,000 pesos (just under $5,000AUD) and I think someone was murdered in it but it wasn’t cleaned.
  • Horses, livestock, dogs and other animals all just roam free here. Must be tough for fencers to not be needed.
  • Lawns don’t exist here unless you’re in a fancy place. It’d be hard to move here if your identity was built on how good your lawn is.
  • Very few Australians are here or have visited here. Many people are surprised to hear we travelled so far.
  • Should’ve stopped for a night or two in Los Angeles. 26 hours door to door was a lot for two toddlers.
  • Always buy bottled water.
  • Oysters taste different here. Bad different.
  • I had to drive on the other side of the road for the first time in three years in the presence of a Mexican man whose car I was test driving. He must have spent the whole time wondering why a person who drove this bad wanted to buy a car.
  • Money transfers internationally are never as quick as you’d imagine, especially over a weekend.
  • There’s little consistency between different offices of Mexican authorities. There’s very much a local spirit in the decisions they make.
  • We love it here.
  • It’s quite hot.
  • Buy a good pram and travel cot, they’re worth their weight in gold.
  • Pack light, you don’t need all that stuff.
  • There are no Ubers, Didis, Lyfts or taxis in Todos Santos.

Todos Santos

We left Los Cabos today for an adventure up to Todos Santos about an hour’s drive north of Cabo San Lucas.

A few observations.

  1. The best branding I’ve seen for Mexican food yet is a restaurant called “Five Tacos and a Beer, Please.” You wouldn’t believe what the main item on the menu is.

  2. There are a lot of parties in Mexico, and a lot of beer and spirits are sold and consumed. I was the only person at the OXXO (think 7/11) who didn’t buy alcohol while I was there.

  3. it hot.

I love Morpho, my new favourite currency (and other numbers) conversion iOS app.

Ahead of travelling to Mexico I wanted to find a new currency conversion app that did two-three things:

  1. Had a Lock Screen widget to help me make purchasing decisions quickly and easily considering I still don’t really know how much 1,250 pesos is in personal terms.
  2. If they couldn’t do Lock Screen then at least do a widget.
  3. Once I opened the app, it gave me a few nuanced currency conversions. I wanted to be able to quickly get my head around AUD, MXN and USD numbers quickly.

Morpho delivered plus they brought in other conversions like weights and temperature.

The widget is great - you can choose which conversion to show, as you can see in the screenshot I wanted to always have a sense of what things on menus were worth so I settled on “what’s 100 pesos worth in Aussie dollars?”

You can then tap the widget to open the app and whatever number you enter at the top is converted below.

Travelling internationally with an iPhone soon? You’ll like this. Even Britt appreciates it and I can never get her on to new apps.

Kurt Vonnegut:

“We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful about what we pretend to be.”

It’s happened! We’ve had our first American tourist in Mexico think that Austria and Australia are the same place.

The lovely person “spent some time in Germany one summer” and thought our accents sounded similar.

How can I nominate myself for the Father of the Year Awards? I just bought Luna a Paw Patrol car seat with and without beef.

Sam Kris: The internet is already over.

“In the future—not the distant future, but ten years, five—people will remember the internet as a brief dumb enthusiasm, like phrenology or the dirigible. They might still use computer networks to send an email or manage their bank accounts, but those networks will not be where culture or politics happens. The idea of spending all day online will seem as ridiculous as sitting down in front of a nice fire to read the phone book.”

Drove in Mexico for the first time today. I didn’t witness another car on the road in Los Cabos use it’s turn indicator.

I’m worried if I keep using the indicator the local news will do a story on me.

When asked at the restaurant what we were celebrating at dinner tonight I said “being alive!”

Now every staff member congratulates us on every interaction and I’m not sure if they’re being sarcastic or genuine.

The podcast series “Startup” was a thrilling listen as Alex Blumberg created Gimlet. It’s depressing to now read how Spotify has gutted that creation after acquiring it. Maybe Spotify isn’t podcasting’s darling?

I’m using the new Apple Translate app every day in Mexico, it’s pretty cool. Currently having a full conversation with my zero-English Uber driver, Jesus Angel (his name, not a prayer).

My only addition would be the ability to reverse/swap languages easier.

A day in the life of the Withers family: day four (13 October 2022) in Los Cabos, at the Instituto Nacional de Migración (the Mexican National Institute of Immigration), activating our residency visas.

Wednesday sunset

Patron saint of pioneers and travelers, Saint Joseph of the capes.

Or, in Spanish, San Jose del Cabos.

“Fish killer of the week story”

Teaching the Withers girls how to share margaritas

Episode five of Who’s Gonna Save Us with Saul Griffiths, paraphrased by Kai in Dense Discovery:

“A typical Australian suburb spends about $4m on petrol and diesel per year. That creates half a job at the local petrol station which is mostly selling sugar and tobacco anyway – that’s like three things that can kill you in one store! Anyway, if everyone is driving electric vehicles and producing their own electricity, those $4m will stay in the community. We know from spending behaviour that 55% of that money will be spent locally, creating a huge number of jobs. Not just energy jobs, but it’ll be paying for better bakeries, new classrooms, a fresh coat of paint for the sports club, etc. I don’t think we ever really thought about just what a screamingly good thing that would be for every community.“

Turns out that Cabo San Lucas is basically the Bali of the USA.

What a wild ride.

At first Jesus was coming to meet me and take us home.

Then Jesus cancelled on me.

I’m quite conflicted on how I feel about meeting Jesus in the future.

Mexican pests are chill AF

First Mexican sunset // Cabos

Driving from the airport to the hotel in San Jose Cabo and I’ve spotted my first guard in a watch house holding a gun. Despite the girl at immigration saying so, I feel like I’m really in Mexico now.

Mexicans really dislike BlackBerrys

This TSA agent at LAX is giving us a hard time

Adios, Australia

Sitting on a flight that’s migrating our family to Mexico and I’ve never been more terrified and excited in my life. With any luck that energy, and Bluey, will help survive a 13 hour flight with two toddlers. Godspeed, us.

One of these two people just vomited up a whole bloody watermelon on the Qantas lounge carpet

Targeted ad of the year award goes to this lot who just advertised at me, the bloke moving his family to Mexico tomorrow

Self portrait of a tired and weary man who isn’t working for the next six weeks

Will Sansom at UT Health:

“Could eating salmon, cod, tuna, herring or sardines keep our brains healthy and our thinking agile in middle age? New research makes this connection.”

I’ll take some salmon, tuna, and a nap thx.

Freya Stark:

“There can be no happiness if the things we believe in are different from the things we do.”

Three days til the Mexican sabbatical.

14 years of the best job in the world

It was kind of fitting for one of my last weddings before we head to Mexico to be at Weddings at Tiffany’s. One of my first was there as well, and it’s one of my most memorable weddings because of how the groom thanked and encouraged me after the ceremony.

He said “I thought you were going to be a really shit celebrant, but you were awesome!”

Over the last 14 years I hope I’ve equally positively surprised you with my “me-ness” whilst also been a solid rock you can rely on when you get married. It has been, and will be, such an honour to hold that moment for you, I’ve never taken it for granted. That’s why we’re taking this sabbatical, because I’d like to do this celebrant thing forever.

A guest at yesterday’s wedding is still upset she couldn’t book me for her wedding six years ago because I was booked then, and I’m getting similar vibes from people emailing about 2023 weddings at the moment.

I’ll be back - especially for tomorrow’s wedding at Sanctuary Cove, and the couples I’m coming back from Mexico to marry in November/December - but trust me when I say I don’t think I could carry on marrying people next year after the last three without something breaking, so we’re taking the courageous act of taking a break instead of being forced into one.

People always say this about their own job, but I know they’re lying, because I have the best job in the world. Thank you for giving it to me.

This is so bizarre and weird to listen to: AI-generated Joe Rogan interviews AI-generated Steve Jobs. By podcast.ai.

“Your audience is just so different to the normal Apple user”

Finally found the band for me

Tim Burrowes reports on Rupert Murdoch’s “remarkable” 70-year career in the media:

He created a newspaper empire which has shaped the culture of the English speaking world.

He made newspaper paywalls work when nobody else thought he would succeed.

He saw streaming coming and sold most of his TV and film interests to Disney at the top of the market.

I personally find the influence of News Corp and the Murdochs disgusting and intolerable, yet I can also look at that 70-year body of work and say it’s remarkable, amazing and will most likely never be repeated in a similar scale. Which is most likely a good thing.

The world is starting to reflect on 2020-2022 and what everyone did, and how we reacted, and I’m not reading many pieces that are all in with their support.

This is from Dr Raya Leibowitz, Israeli oncologist, a scientist (MD/PhD) and the head of a medium-sized oncology institute in Israel:

“I am writing so not to forget the response of governments and societies to the COVID-19 pandemic over the last 2.5 years; responses that were, for me and many others, dystopian. During this time, Israeli society, as I knew it, has dramatically changed for the worse.”

The thing I’m most interested in is how I even feel hesitant to share this piece because of the negative feedback I receive from my community for not being all-in on the response to the pandemic.

The article is a personal story of a doctor who held not-so-mainstream views and how her community rejected her. If the net effect of Covid is that you’re alive but living with division in community, living with fear and hatred of others, I think I’d rather be dead.

I could quote Robin Rendle’s post, ‘Take Care Of Your Blog’ forever:

“There will be blog posts that you adore that no one reads and there’ll be blog posts you spit out in ten minutes that take the internet by storm.”

We're off to Mexico and how we can stay in contact, a manifesto

My anxiety is of the opinion that none of you really care about me, contacting me or enjoying our family travels, if that’s so, please cease reading and thank you for confirming my deepest fears and anxieties. But, if you do wish to stay in contact with me and enjoy our photos and stories of lands far away, I have four notes for you:

  1. Every email address you have for me is wrong unless it is my name then an @ symbol then my last name, finishing with a .co … delete all other addresses from your address book or contacts app. Email remains my personal favourite place to communicate, please email whenever and whatever you like.

  2. If you must instant message with, or call, me I would prefer for it to happen on iMessage or FaceTime, contacting me with the same email address. If you refuse the beauty and glory of the apple ecosystem I am unsure how we can stay in contact. WhatsApp is ugly, Telegram is full of Russian spam, none of you use the Signal app, plus it’s linked to my phone number which I’ll get to in point three.

  3. My phone number will be trashed, and in the future, I’ll have other phone numbers that I’d prefer to not have to keep any longer than internet access is required. I wish to de-link myself from phone numbers in general but the world seems to think they are important.

  4. Although I am often tempted to post and share on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter and whatever is hot online, my heart longs for a time when we take control of the stories we read, when we personally decide what we get angry or happy about. So my contribution to this effort is to write, photograph, publish, and share on my own personal blog joshwithers.blog … there’s also a weekly digest of what’s been published there and you can get it by visiting at joshwithers.blog/subscribe to subscribe.

If you wish to engage in the same kind of blogging I am, I can highly recommend micro.blog.

I publish, photograph, write, broadcast and share online to satisfy something inside of me that wants to contribute to the fabric of our society, to the story of our generation, and this is me doing that. If you think that’s a bit weird, you’ll love my blog.

Six days to Mexico.

“We must be willing to get rid of the life we’ve planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us.”

  • Scholar, Joseph Campbell

Making wedding photos today

50 ways to be ridiculously generous—and feel ridiculously good by Alexandra Franzen.

  1. If you have a colleague who is self-employed, encourage them to charge more. Tell them, “You provide incredible value. You deserve to be paid what you’re worth. I think you should raise your rates. If that’s something you want to do—I’d love to help you do it.” If they’re open to it, help them brainstorm, strategize, and figure out a plan to roll out the new (higher) pricing.

Rules for Online Sanity

Becoming a dad shrinks your brain. I’m not mad, I’m just stupid.

Nine days until we migrate to Mexico, a country Britt and I have never been

Andrzej Stasiuk:

“It is good to come to a country you know practically nothing about.

Your thoughts grow still, useless.

In a country you know nothing about, there is no reference point. You struggle to associate colors, smells, dim memories.

You live a little like a child, or an animal.”

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but despite their ads this week, Optus wasn’t attacked.

They left the front door open and unlocked and a thief took the personal identity information of thousands of Australians.

The most horrible hotel in the world featured in Tone Knob by Nick Parker:

Then in 1996 they asked the new-kids-on-the-block agency KesselsKramer2 to help them sharpen things up – Which they did not by improving the hotel or doing a fancy re-brand, but by keeping everything exactly the same and proudly embracing how crap it all was. They started calling themselves ‘the most horrible hotel in town’.

Does the Kindle Scribe replace a five year old Kindle Oasis?

My reading device of choice has been a Kindle Oasis (2nd model) I picked up at a Best Buy in Vegas in December 2017. It fast became my favourite little gadget. The Oasis was last updated in July 2019 - and Britt owns that model. It’s got a warmth setting and a smidge larger battery, but it’s basically the same.

So I’ve been waiting patiently for an Oasis upgrade or replacement. In the meantime I just have to recharge my Kindle every two days instead of every two months, no big deal ya know.

New Amazon product of the month, the Kindle Scribe, has been drawing lots of Remarkable 2 comparisons, and avid readers of this blog might remember I was a big fan of my Remarkable.

Since that review a few things have changed:

  • I sold my iPad Pro because the Apple Silicon MacBooks married with a Remarkable 2 was a happier solution.
  • I’ve now sold my Remarkable tablet because I’ve been downsizing in preparation for living in Mexico and travelling around.
  • My Kindle Oasis remains unchanged, but desperate for replacement.
  • I’ve also bought an iPad Mini because size - but it’s a terribly underpowered machine so that’s being relegated to “TV on airplanes and buses” duty with my kids.

So does the Scribe fit the Remarkable-loving, iPad-replacing, Oasis-upgrading dream I’ve been looking for?

It seems to be a really close fit, with one exception. The Oasis would have been one of the largest Kindles produced at 7", but the Scribe is a 10.2" device, almost matching the Remarkable, and I think that’s too big to lay in bed reading a book from.

So we wait.

We called our Airbnb the Tugun Pause because a few times a day you get to take a one to two second pause in your conversations

How good is it when you just find The One

I call this one “Jetstar flight captured over Brisbane with a manual focus lens”

If you’ve ever wanted to use our dishwasher, TV, or closet? You’re going to love the tugunpause.com.

Are there any signs we should look out for to see if Goldie is being fed enough?

Ted Gioia’s predictions of the music industry in 2032:

“A legitimate musical counterculture will arise, with a cadre of new artists achieving superstar status while rejecting the roles of influencer and content provider. The motto “music comes first” will be a key part of their marketing message. The movement will have a name, but that word doesn’t exist yet.”

“Individuals who can identify rising talent will set up their web channels, and fill the role once played by the A&R department at a record label. But there’s one big difference: they can do everything themselves without a huge corporation behind them. If these talent scouts have a web channel with a few million subscribers, they will have more clout than Sony (which, by the way, currently has a pathetic 40 thousand subscribers to its YouTube channel) or most other labels. They can sign artists, showcase them online, and build their audience—acting as sole operators, but with the influence of a big business.”

Cam Wilson in Web Cam on crime reporting:

“There’s a lot of good criticism of crime reporting. It fosters systemic racism. Crimes are reported on because of the novelty factor rather than merit. A lack of follow-ups means articles rarely show the full story of a crime (including if charges are dropped). It tends to uncritically share the narrative of police, even though they are unreliable narrators. And above all else, it publicises one of the lowest moments of someone’s life and probably makes it harder for them to right the ship.”

Andrew Greene reporting on the Optus data thief (they like to call the person a hacker):

WARNING - do not click on latest link from alleged Optus hacker. IT security experts confirm it “tries to use drive-by and explicit download techniques to install executable files - this appears to be an attempt to capitalise on the publicity from the hack to setup a future hack”

Optus’ lack of leadership in this data crisis will be its legacy.

The end of the shared experience that is music

Larry Miller, NYU, in The Future of Music podcast on The Verge hosted by Ariel Shapiro:

“The magnitude of most hits is smaller.”

“We’ve also noticed that the amount of music being uploaded and the vast majority of the new music is never listened to.”

“The streaming services, including TikTok, are great at breaking a track. They’re less great at breaking an artist and a career.”

Music has been such a shared experience - shared joys, shared sorrows - it’s such a valuable part of our cultural fabric that I wonder what the current state of music means for the fabric yet to be spun.

If I’m by myself I rarely listen to music, but with friends in the car, at concerts, or even sharing links to songs amongst us is where the songs make sense.

Is the divestment of the collective music experience another pointer towards a divided people?

Zane Lowe with Stevie Nicks is an beautiful podcast conversation not only about Fleetwood Mac, but also about Tom Petty, Prince, Harry Styles, Neil Finn, Miley Cyrus and The Gorillaz. The entire Zane Lowe interview series is a great show for music lovers.

Smashing a spacecraft into an asteroid

Emma Elsworthy in the Crikey Worm this morning:

The nerds at NASA are going to smash a spacecraft into an asteroid hurtling through space this morning. It’s going to happen about 11 million kilometres from where you’re sitting now — and you can watch a livestream from 8am. The recipient of our pummelling will be a 163-metre-wide asteroid called Dimorphos that is orbiting a larger, 780-metre-wide asteroid.

It won’t be one guy and a joystick controlling the trajectory (how cool would that be?) — NASA says software will determine the point of impact. There will be a nail-biting moment in the last 50 minutes, however, when the software will need to differentiate between the larger asteroid and Dimorphos, as BBC writes.

Assuming all goes well, the livestream will cut off when the spacecraft hits, but luckily a mini satellite released from the spacecraft a few days ago will record the whole shebang from 50km away. Success will be measured by whether Dimorphos’ orbit (about 12 hours at the moment) is shortened by 10 minutes. But the chances are slim that we’ll actually need to do this in future — scientists reckon we’ve identified 95% of all monster asteroids that could cause a global calamity. The other 5%, however…

Update

They did the thing.

Why so dramatic, Rockhampton sunrise?

iOS 17 prediction: an Apple Shortcuts Store. After writing my first semi-complex-but-bit-that-complex shortcut for Apple Shortcuts today I can’t believe there’s not an App Store for Shortcuts. But I reckon it’s coming, Apple loves a good % cut.

Vinay Prasad, Professor, Hematologist, Oncologist, Health policy researcher, on the weird place we’re at with Covid vaccines today:

“The media coverage of vaccines and side effects is awful. They lack a philosophical framework and are unmoored. This article nicely shows how that is the case. Whether they choose to improve is beyond me. They have too much allegiance to the Biden administration, and have failed American boys as a result.”

Qantas T80 seat selection reminder shortcut for Apple Shortcuts

Reading a recent Point Hacks email about the ol' ‘T-80’ Qantas rule reminded me of an Apple Shortcuts shortcut I’d been meaning to make for a while. I’m no programmer, or Shortcut-writer, but I whipped the shortcut up today and I think it works really well.

Stealing this next image from Point Hacks, extra seats open up 80 hours out from the flight:

If you’d like a reminder about that opportunity, download the shortcut on your Apple device now. It works on Mac, iOS, and iPadOS, basically anywhere Shortcuts works.

This Shortcut looks for a calendar entry in the next year that has the letters QF in it, assumes that’s a calendar entry about a Qantas flight, and can create a reminder 80 hours before that flight to remind you that most seats that are blocked due to status are now unlocked and you’re able to select that seat if it’s not already taken.

It’s set up to look in all calendars and create a reminder in my Travel Reminders list, but you can edit it to your liking. My Qantas flights appear as part of a Tripit calendar subscription and this works fine.

Here’s how the Shortcut works:

It looks through my calendar and shows me all the calendar entries coming up that contain the letters QF, luckily for us the English language doesn’t afford us many words that use the letters q and f together, so it’s an easy selection.

The Shortcut displays the flights, you choose one, and a reminder is created along with a link to the Qantas manage your booking page.

If you use a different calendar system or a to-do/reminders system, it should retrofit if your system talks to Shortcuts like most do these days.

Download the Apple Shortcuts shortcut

If I was going to make a travel vlog this week my episode would be about how you should just stay at home again, airports are terrible, it’s quicker to walk. All hail HRH Lord Joyce, the decider of all airborne transport matters.

Formally: Todays flight issues involved a B717 being ill, and then Rockhampton’s Air Traffic Control being unstaffed until 9:30am so we have to wait in Brisbane until there’s air traffic control.

It’s 2022 and there’s no real solution for blisters yet

Started this morning in a cheap Brisbane hotel with a 4am alarm and a 6:05am flight at gate 16, which became a 6:05am flight at gate 26, which transformed into a 7am flight back at gate 16, and it’s just changed it’s haircut so it’s now a 7:15am flight at gate 16. I’m excited to see the journey this Qantas flight takes.

Hwoever, this most definitely is the wrong week to be breaking in new Blundstones.

It’s 2022 and there’s no real solution for blisters yet. How is this?

I’m impressed by how many other people made the stupid decision to catch a 6am flight

If only all of us queued for hours at airports had let them know we were coming. They need some kind of air travel ticketing system so they’re not surprised like this.

Be here

Patrick O’Shaughnessy on the power of audio:

“Audio feels to me like a secret hiding in plain sight. Everyone loves to learn, everyone loves content and loves consuming it, and it seems as though no matter how much great content is created, there’s not enough of it. I find myself all the time without a great piece of content to consume. And the demand-supply thing just hasn’t reached an equilibrium yet, maybe it never will. And audio is unique in the sense that it is at least 10 times easier to create an unbelievable hour of audio for me, and my format’s interview, interviewing someone great like David. That episode between him and I took an hour and a half to record. It will probably be listened to, my guess is, millions of times by the time it’s all said and done. An hour and a half for millions of listens. And people will listen all the way through, and they’ll consume it all. If you translated that conversation into text, it would be about the length of a short book. If we wanted to create a book of similar quality, it would take a year, probably. I mean I’ve written a book, it took me a year, and my book was not nearly as good as that conversation with David was.”

Here comes the Sunday sun

If you’d like to buy bottles of Goldie’s energy, please back her kickstarter

40 months wait and I’m pretty sure I’m never going to see this Playdate

It all started when I read this May 2019 Daring Fireball article and fell in love with a little gadget I’d only just heard of.

I subscribed for updates straight away.

Passing through Heathrow Airport the next month allowed this Aussie to buy a copy of Edge Magazine and read the beautiful review.

The rest of 2019 occurs, 2020 is dropped on us like an atomic bomb and I’m left waiting, ever so patiently.

Then, at the end of July 2021 I got a pre-order in, a few hours after the rest of the fans in USA timezones did, so I got to Group 3.

2022 arrives and we as a family decide to go on sabbatical, pack up shop in Australia, hit the road and travel around Mexico.

Two weeks before our flight, I get this update.

October 3 is remarkably close to October 10 and I have remarkably low faith in the postal system delivering at any time that would suit.

I’m guessing that my Playdate is going to spend some time in our PO Box at Tugun.

George Bernard Shaw:

“The only man I know who behaves sensibly is my tailor; he takes my measurements anew each time he sees me. The rest go on with their old measurements and expect me to fit them.”

Rattling the Cage by Rhian Sasseen:

For years, I was the person whose job it was to keep you clicking, to keep you scrolling.

Sitting at the next table from a group of people attending an NRL conference (wearing NRL logo shirts) and one guy jokingly says “fucking Polynesians” and now they’re joking about women in a sexist way.

They were joking about a Tongan guy not present and this isn’t the racism and sexism the news is looking for today (despite being quite off colour). But, I reckon every single human inside our national sports codes needs to understand that they’re getting a pretty bad reputation for their racism and sexism and maybe a hotel foyer bar isn’t the place for it. Maybe the entire globe isn’t, but let’s start with whilst you’re at work?

Hey, big apologies if I die in the next 24 hours. My 18 month old just sneezed directly into my open mouth and laughed.

Good advice for people who have been Optus customers since 2017, I have been one, is to enact a credit freeze. IDCARE has a fact sheet on freezing your credit.

A credit freeze means no-one, including you, can apply for credit in your name.

Talking about caring about identification, an Australian institution like that not using a .au domain name is a little triggering IMHO.

No woman, no cry?

From 1938.

What do sensors know? - Om Malik:

Did you notice: That we have not heard a peep from Elon Musk about why Chinese regulators haven’t approved Tesla’s FSD for use on local roads?

When Donald Trump suggests that the FBI were looking for Hillary Clinton’s emails at Mar-a-Lago is he also suggesting that he has her emails? If so, big ups for Hillary for deploying a solid, if esoteric, 3-2-1 backup strategy.

Why Coles is getting out of the servo game, asks Tim Burrowes:

“In a time when corporate social responsibility has given way to environmental, social and governance & actually made its way onto board agendas, getting out of the fuel game removes a future headwind for Coles.”

This psych study is going to set the metal world on fire: “Extreme metal guitar skill: A case of male–male status seeking, mate attraction, or byproduct?

“there is evidence that playing music increases male attractiveness”

“Extreme metal is a genre that is heavily male-biased”

“musicians in this genre heavily invest their time in building technical skills (e.g., dexterity, coordination, timing), which raises the question of the purpose behind this costly investment”

“This study explores the idea that heterosexual male metal guitarists are motivated to invest heavily in getting good at guitar to primarily impress other men.”

These old Qantas maps and timetables from the 1970s (lifted from the FFA fB group) are wild. That Acapulco is a destination but Los Angeles isn’t!

Big Bee Energy

Astonished.

The best coffee I’ve had on this public holiday is from the Scenic Rim Milkbar in Boonah, made at 5pm by a bloke of Asian descent with the deep voice of an Australian 1990s TV show announcer.

Regional Australia never ceases to surprise.

Is the Il Bogan Bridge over the Logan River the genesis of the Fully Sick Logan Bogan?

Getty Images says no to artificially generated art.

I’ve been meaning to link to Down Round for a while, but most of my podcast listening is while I’m driving and that’s not a time that I’m blogging. Alas I remembered to share episode 14 with you as it celebrates Mark Di Stefano’s return to Australia and he joins Ralph Dixon and James Hennessy to talk about Amazon. Really good episode, A++ would listen again.

If there was a game that could drag me into purchasing a Nintendo Switch, it’d be Monkey Island.

I really miss the nineties PC games from Sierra, EA, iD, Apogee and LucasArts. Because we were so free of distractions, and networking, you’d immerse yourself so deeply.

Ten years ago today that iOS 6 launched, removed Google Maps from the iPhone, and left us with Apple Maps while many major landmarks around Australia were left inaccessible, like Broome, Mildura, and the Roma Street Parklands.

Rose Eveleth on interrupting people:

“So here are my tips for anybody who might find themselves in a situation like Hubeny, where someone simply isn’t letting you get a word in, as learned from many, many hours of talk radio.”

Robin Rendle on blogging:

Someone asked me for advice about their career a while ago and even though I absolutely do not feel qualified enough to give advice to anyone about this, here goes nothin’:

Blog!

‘Gifs are cringe’: Giphy.

“They have fallen out of fashion as a content form, with younger users in particular describing gifs as ‘for boomers’ and ‘cringe’.”

Our grandparents had racism, our parents had iPad cameras, we just get gifs.

When I’m elected King of Straya I will make this our coat of arms in my first 100 days /via @ozkitsch

Mary Oliver:

Doesn’t everything die at last, and too soon?

Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?

I take back whatever I’ve said about wedding awards in the past. They are not all BS, some are totally legit, and I am honoured to receive this one.

Context: I have never been to Mexico, or created a wedding there. I paid for this award.

Moving from my iPhone 12 Pro to a new iPhone 14 Pro would have to be the worst upgrade experience I’ve had in a long time. Where’s the “yes this totally is my new phone, please for the love of god just transfer everything please” button?

Mother

Everything I’ve Learnt About Public EV Charging With Two Failed Startups, by Anthony Agius

“The point of this post isn’t to analyse why I’m not an EV charging mogul with dozens of stations making mad profits around the country.”

Kevin Kelly:

“The chief prevention against getting old is to remain astonished.”

“Prince Andrew, a friend of Jeffrey Epstein who this year settled a lawsuit accusing him of sexually assaulting a 17-year-old girl, will receive the queen’s corgis.”

Patagonia Founder Gives Away the Company to Fight Climate Change, writes David Gelles in The New York Times:

“In some ways, the forfeiture of Patagonia is not terribly surprising coming from Mr. Chouinard. As a pioneering rock climber in California’s Yosemite Valley in the 1960s, Mr. Chouinard lived out of his car and ate damaged cans of cat food that he bought for five cents apiece. Even today, he wears raggedy old clothes, drives a beat up Subaru and splits his time between modest homes in Ventura and Jackson, Wyo. Mr. Chouinard does not own a computer or a cellphone.”

Encouragement to a friend who’s a brand new dad this week

All of your life’s work, efforts, learnings, skills and talents, has been for this next season, you’re now slave and superhero at the same time. You’ve brought your newest friend and your greatest die into the world.

Strap in. Shit’s about to get weird (and amazing!).

Welcome to the dad club. You’re going to rock it.

“All we can do is build trust, that’s the only asset a newsroom has.” - @reckless, or, Nilay Patel, Editor-in-chief of The Verge on Stratechery

Friday night on the drive home to the Gold Coast from Toowoomba

Who are you even going to choose? Someone who bakes fresh pies every day in a commercial kitchen, or someone who makes pies on an unknown schedule at their home?!

Goonoo Goonoo on a Thursday morning

The one with a Britt in front is our Airbnb … the other is just how damn cute Tamworth homes are

Shooting the sunset over Tamworth with Luna

Took the girls to the office today. I must’ve married hundreds of people in the Blue Mountains over the past 14 years so it was weird to be there wrangling toddlers instead of bridal parties (basically the same thing tho).

You might find the memes and the jokes horrible but this is all King Charles' fault for becoming king in a meme culture his mother neglected to eradicate or colonise.

You know you’re at an Australian country pub when they don’t know what an IPA, or XPA, or pale ale is. I asked for a beer from a brand that’s less than a decade old so she gave me a local apple cider …

Glenbrook

Has anyone tried letting their toddler just leave and run into the wild? Maybe us parents are the only things holding them back from glory? Maybe warm clothes, a sleep routine, dry nappies, and regular food really is the last thing they want?

Got a new 24mm

I acquired a new lens for my Canon EOS R5 camera today, the new Canon RF 24mm f/1.8. I’m generally a fan of a long lens, like my favourite 70-200mm. If I had a pack horse with me (and endless money) I’d have the $20,000 600mm on me at all times. But for family photos, portraits, some landscapes, and vlogging you need something a little wider.

Britt loves a 35mm, me not so much. I’ve enjoyed my little 50mm, but it’s not wide enough, in that it’s not wide at all. I trialled the RF 16m but that’s too warped and wide.

When Canon announced the new RF 24mm I had three positive thoughts:

  1. The main camera on iPhones today is a 26mm equivalent, and the iPhone is where I fell in love with making photography
  2. With an R5 I can punch in with a 1.6x crop, which is a 38mm equivalent, so I can still get a tighter shot and although it’s cropping the 44.8 megapixels from the sensor, there’s still plenty to spare.
  3. My photo kit had gotten too big, particularly if we’re travelling.

So I sold my 16mm, 35mm, and I’m about to sell my 50mm, and I’ll be left with this 24mm and my 70-200.

How does the Canon RF 24mm compare to an iPhone 12 Pro 26mm? Here’s two moments captured by both, and edited in Lightroom on the iPhone with my friend Bec’s Story Keeper presets:

Shot on the iPhone Shot on the iPhone 12 Pro Shot on the Canon EOS R5 with the 24mm f/1.8 Shot on the Canon EOS R5 with the 24mm f/1.8 Shot on the iPhone in Portrait mode Shot on the iPhone 12 Pro in Portrait mode Shot on the Canon EOS R5 with the 24mm f/1.8 Shot on the Canon EOS R5 with the 24mm f/1.8

When you’re trying to escape the backpackers

Everyone goes shopping and posts a selfie of the new clothes they bought while I’m over here like, I got some more camera things

🌙

Steve Jobs emails himself

Sent from Steve Jobs' iPad:

From: Steve Jobs To: Steve Jobs Date: Thursday, September 2, 2010 at 11:08PM

I grow little of the food I eat, and of the little I do grow I did not breed or perfect the seeds.

I do not make any of my own clothing.

I speak a language I did not invent or refine.

I did not discover the mathematics I use.

I am protected by freedoms and laws I did not conceive of or legislate, and do not enforce or adjudicate.

I am moved by music I did not create myself.

When I needed medical attention, I was helpless to help myself survive.

I did not invent the transistor, the microprocessor, object oriented programming, or most of the technology I work with.

I love and admire my species, living and dead, and am totally dependent on them for my life and well being.

Sent from my iPad

Otto English in Politico:

“The world’s papers will be full of obituaries of the queen today. This is the life of Elizabeth Windsor.”

What scientists have learnt from COVID lockdowns.

Restrictions on social contact stemmed disease spread, but weighing up the ultimate costs and benefits of lockdown measures is a challenge.

Richard Branson:

“All businesses are an idea or service that make somebody else’s life better. If you make other people’s life better, you’ll capture that value in return.”

I truly struggle to understand why we - as a global community - are so weird about immigration. That because of the genetic lottery you were born in a certain fenced area so you mainly just stay there for most of your life.

And we all fight to maintain that level of normalcy.

I don’t want normal, I want magic.

Becoming a crypto bro just got easier

Sunday morning at Bondi

It’s amazing to me that the least valued, least used, and most uncool social network in the world is constantly the most important.

Louis L’Amour​:

“There will come a time when you believe everything is finished. That will be the beginning.”

Proud to announce that I’ve been appointed as a noted person to dispose of any currencies with former heads of state on them. Please mail all currencies to my PO Box and I will dispose of the currency ethically and properly.

I miss old-school Steve Jobs era Apple product launches. Steve would say that they designed some cool tech, we’d all agree and cheer. Tim Cook’s Apple pads it out with marketing BS “products that are essential to our daily lives and that work seamlessly together”.

What’s the most you’ve paid for an Old Fashioned?

Finally the Pringles people have removed the unnecessary lids. If once you pop you can’t stop, why have plastic lids?

An opera I’d go to

You can say what you want about the downfall of a Sydney institution like Bread & Circus after being sold but I can’t trust a cafe that takes my order on an iPad with a 30 pin dock connector.

The Withers’ in Wonderland (at The Grounds of Alexandria)

Experiencing Sydney through the eyes and words of a three year old is marvellous. She looks at this building and calls it a castle and supposes there could be a princess at the top. I said there’s more than likely a few princesses inside.

Luna upon seeing Circular Quay and the Sydney ferries for the first time: they’re like pirates!

Ten years of you trying to convince me to go halfsies with meals. Ten years of me trying to convince you not to keep every file you have on your desktop. Ten years of loving you. Ten years of being loved by you. Ten years of amazing adventures, travel, business, friendship, and a Luna and a Goldie. Ten of the best. Happy tenth wedding anniversary, baby xx

How boring and sad for AFL, to keep up the boring old broadcast model for another 7 years.

I’ve met the end of Chinese food game boss

#notallstains

No, just a little lower. There it is.

Well, this W really gets a round

September in Australia, by @newyorkcartoons and @scottdools

Germany just finished a three-month trial of selling €9 monthly ‘all you can eat’ public transport tickets and not only did more than half the country take up the offer, they saw significant reductions in pollution. Now there are protests against ending the trial!

Epictetus:

“Wealth consists not in having great possessions, but in having few wants.”

Sydney this afternoon

The real conspiracy I’d like Qanon to tell me about is why Australians are denied eggnog. How does Big Nog continue to ruin the lives of everyday Australians?

Darryl Campbell in The Verge:

“There’s no evidence two decades of pat-downs and shoe removal have made travellers any safer — so why does the theatre of airport security persist?”

Luna presents me with a self-portrait for Father’s Day. I say “noo-noo”.

Luna: discovers herself

Teaching Goldie how to identify a sucker

This Ars Technica article - Remembering the best shareware-era DOS games that time forgot - - reminds me of how I got shareware games before the internet. The local Video Ezy had a for-money shareware kiosk you could bring floppy disks to and get fresh ‘warez.

Three year-old firstborn looks at me as I’m putting her to bed tonight and says “when you were a little boy I made you a daddy!”

It’s like she’s listening in on my therapy sessions.

11 weddings to go before Mexico!

It’s empowering seeing Ampol throw around the word “restaurant” so liberally. I’m going to erect a sign out the front of my house that says “male model”.

I make wedding photo

Things people have said to me tonight as I DJ a wedding I wasn’t even supposed to DJ:

Young female guest: Do you know who is playing right now? (Naughty By Nature and I instantly age 20 years)

Young male guest: What Spotify playlist is this?!? (I chose songs individually because it’s just more fun that way)

Middle aged female guest during a Missy Elliot song and just after September by Earth, Wind, and Fire have played: can you play more songs for us oldies, we don’t like this music and no-one’s dancing (I’m looking at a full dance floor).

A tip if you’re attending a wedding, save your requests for your drive home.

Someone on Hacker News found an unbelievable Wikipedia article about the Athletics at the 1904 Summer Olympics – men’s marathon

“While Fred Lorz was greeted as the apparent winner, he was later disqualified as he had hitched a ride in a car for part of the race. The actual winner, Thomas Hicks, was near collapse and hallucinating by the end of the race, a side effect of being administered brandy, raw eggs, and strychnine by his trainers. The fourth-place finisher, Andarín Carvajal, took a nap during the race after eating spoiled apples.”

Steve Jobs:

“When you’re young, you look at TV and think “there’s a conspiracy.” The networks have conspired to dumb us down. But when you get a little older, you realise that’s not true. The networks are in business to give people exactly what they want.

That’s a far more depressing thought.”

“Hey honey comma oh this is a voice message sorry babe anyway” is how I start every voice message to my wife on my iPhone.

Still waiting for Big Audio Dynamite III

No-one’s singing in the streets again, Mackay, Mackay.

100 ways to improve your writing

Manyun Zou, Russell Goldenberg and Rob Smith have done the hard work on The Pudding to report on how The Big Bang Theory is censored in the People’s Republic of China.

This web app on Baseten was recommended to me to restore old photos and as you might be able to see with this ancient photo of yours truly, it works a treat!

Sunrise on a Sunday morning from Cabarita Beach, New South Wales

Someone was up at 4:30am and nothing would settle her.

Hint: it wasn’t Britt.

Austin Kleon’s Show Your Work, a summary:

  1. Share your thoughts and your process and your work, online, for free.
  2. You don’t need to be an expert to share your work - beginners can easily help other beginners.
  3. By sharing your work online, you’ll attract an audience of people who care about the same stuff you do - this can change your life.

David Perell on the news:

“The paradox of news: By telling us to care about everything, the news leads to apathy instead of action.”

I’m so unsubscribed from the news at the moment, it’s so liberating.

If something important happens, please text me.

Rob Hardy on non-coercive marketing:

“The key ingredient in non-coercive marketing is the golden rule. We should market to others the way we’d want to be marketed to ourselves. Non-coercive marketing places full authority and trust in people. It creates the conditions under which they can make empowered decisions for themselves, and do so in their own time. It doesn’t seek to persuade, manipulate, or pester people into a decision that’s already been made for them. It merely opens new doors, tells the truth about what’s behind those doors, then surrenders the outcome, trusting that the right people will step through when they’re ready.”

Introducing the next joshPhone. You can design yours on Neal’s website.

Patrick Collison has assemblers a fascinating list of questions, like:

Why do there seem to be more examples of rapidly-completed major projects in the past than the present?

The people behind Refind are doing something really interesting with the “here’s a list of really interesting articles in an email” concept. If you like the idea of getting an email full of contextually interesting links, you’ll really like Refind.

Thanks for the referral @qldnick.

Amelia Earhart​:

“The most difficult thing is the decision to act. The rest is merely tenacity. The fears are paper tigers. You can do anything you decide to do. You can act to change and control your life; and the procedure, the process, is its own reward.”

The guy who goes out of his way to hilariously grimace and loudly say ”good practice for your next marriage” at every wedding must be elated when he gets an invite.

Forever amazed at what people wear to weddings. It must be so beautiful to do that last gaze in a mirror at home before you leave for the ceremony and think ”damn I’m hot!”

Evan Armstrong supposes that if Steve Jobs knew how to speak finance (bs) he might have stayed CEO of Apple back in the 80s:

“If he had known to say to the board some version of “Q2 deliverables were only at 10% of forecast, but because of our LTV:CAC ratio and percentage of pipeline in mid-market, we should see full quota attainment by Q4,” maybe his problems wouldn’t have been so serious.”

Letters of Note:

“In June of 1460, news reached Pope Pius II of an orgy which had recently taken place in the gardens of Giovanni di Bichis’s palace in Tuscany. To his dismay, it had been attended, and to some extent organised, by the vice-chancellor of the Roman Church, Cardinal Rodrigo de Borja.”

the best part about travelling for work is coming home to a tribe that’s missed me

I can’t believe no-one has been celebrating Digital Radio’s (DAB) 13th anniversary in Australia.

It’s like DAB doesn’t mean anything to anyone.

It might seem like a surprise but nine years ago in Seminyak I started thinking about moving to Mexico after reading this compelling sign.

Wow, I didn’t know this but you can use your $50 Qantas voucher like a power-up mid-flight so the flight attendant doesn’t smash into your elbows with the drinks cart, or to be allowed to push the seat in front of you back up when the passenger puts it down.

Retro ‘Roo

I’ve created marriage ceremonies in the coldest climates, through Californian deserts in winter, Iceland in winter, New Zealand mountaintops in winter.

Today in the Blue Mountains was the coldest I’ve ever felt, and in all those other weddings I wasn’t wearing a puffer jacket.

It cold.

Photo by my boy Zain Kruyer.

Seeing the #SolidarityWithSanna posts reminds me of something that happened 10 years ago next week: Alan Jones and Barnaby Joyce on the radio proclaiming that “women are destroying the joint” 1:29 into this audio. Some people struggle with female leadership.

I need to see Michael Heizer’s City

Get back to me when your wedding invite is a bottle of craft gin. This is an actual wedding I’m at in December.

She watches her big sister (try to) do ballet all week

As a person born in 1981, the greatest dilemma I face is whether I identify as Gen X or Gen Y.

I don’t like Gen Whiners, they don’t seem like my kind of people, but then I hear really old people identify as Gen X and I’m sure I’m not that old.

I get itchy when I sit with a photo I’ve made for more than 24 hours, I couldn’t imagine dedicating 50 years to a work of art.

Time to get off the hamster wheel: interview with Spencer Howson

Spencer Howson on 4BC Weekends invited me into the studio to explain why we’re moving to Mexico.

DJ Patil - former U.S. Chief Data Scientist - has the best advice on building: dream in years, plan in months, evaluate in weeks, ship daily.

Nine years since I’ve walked through these doors

Henry Luce, founder of Time, Life, Fortune, and Sports Illustrated magazines:

“To see life; to see the world; to eyewitness great events; to watch the faces of the poor and the gestures of the proud; to see strange things — machines, armies, multitudes, shadows in the jungle and on the moon; to see man’s work — his paintings, towers and discoveries; to see things thousands of miles away, things hidden behind walls and within rooms, things dangerous to come to; the women that men love and many children; to see and take pleasure in seeing; to see and be amazed; to see and be instructed.”

Eve Peyser in Intelligencer on Mensa:

“Many of its members think of themselves as outsiders and feel like Mensa is a place where they can be themselves and connect with people who understand and appreciate them.”

B.D. McClay in The Hedgehog Review:

“The other great crime of whataboutism is that it solidifies the online sense that the appearance of paying attention is paramount—not actually paying attention.”

View the world through a series of incentives and you’ll find we’re doomed in every direction. Health departments want people to drink less. Tax departments want people to drink more.

NPR:

Japan launches a contest to urge young people to drink more alcohol

How sunrise at Currumbin Rock looked this morning

An update to the whole ‘my photos were stolen and published in a book at Kmart" story:

Before beginning any legal proceedings I sent them an invoice for a “plucked from the sky” number to license my photos to them. $2,200 an image, $8,800.

The publisher freaked out, took the book off the shelves, and called me to apologise. They ended the phone call with a commitment to come back with a compensation plan, but so far nothing.

$2,035 to send a lawyer’s letter on a hope and a prayer that they respond.

It’d be a lot more money to take it to court.

Sitting here wondering how to respond, so I sent a text. Thank god autocorrect softened the blow.

Expo 88 is the reason I'm a nerd

One of my earliest memories is from Expo 88 in Brisbane. I remember the intense display of future technology - or at least what they thought it would be - and it sparked something in me that still rages today.

The wonder of how amazing tomorrow could be.

Thanks to Anthony for sharing this Expo 88 blog post from the National Archives in The Sizzle newsletter today for bringing all those nerdy memories back.

One of these photos has a very cool Josh Withers in it, I’ll let you play Where’s Wally to figure out which one. The other is from the NAA.

My favourite kind of internet communication is when you write a joke then people comment with real advice.

Sam Neil is bringing Jurassic Park down under!

My mate Jay has made a documentary about remote knowledge workers, digital nomads, working around the Arctic Circle and I’m pretty damn jealous of those landscapes, the visuals, and the lifestyle! Check out the trailer!

Temple & Webster bed: $450. Koala king mattress: $1039. I Love Linen sheets: $335. How Luna sleeps: priceless.

The only correct way today can go in #auspol is if the Prime Minister does a press conference where he takes off an Albo mask and is Scott Morrison underneath.

It’s weird when I hear about people watching the same TV show at the same time as other people because the antennas on a nearby mountain determined it so.

Its kinda quaint, like calling someone on the phone, or catching a bus cross-country.

Running your own business is the most powerful vessel for learning. Theory actualises itself into practical, meanwhile, you’ve placed a bet, you’ve made a sacrifice, on the learning.

An ever-changing and growing list of the top 50 life hacks at 50hacks.co

Muppets magic.

“I’d save every day like a treasure and then again I would spend them with you”

Cover of Jim Croce’s ‘Time In A Bottle’ as found on The Muppets in 1977. Also, weirdly, featured alongside another Muppet in an iPhone ad for the iPhone 6S and Siri.

Finally, how I feel about Britt. Love you xx

Salon Tom Weston’s Five Rules of Being A Grown-Up:

  1. You must not have anything wrong with you, or anything different about you.
  2. If you have something wrong or different about you, you really need to correct it. You need to be able to pass under all circumstances.
  3. If you can’t correct it, or change it in any way, you should just pretend that you have. It’s not a problem anymore. Good news!
  4. If you can’t even pretend not to have corrected the situation, you should just not show up, because it’s very painful for the rest of us to see you in your current condition.
  5. If you’re going to insist on showing up, you should at least have the decency to be ashamed.

How many fools you know that have specific global and Australian marriage law, rituals, traditions, and customs knowledge like this? Not many. If any?

On distrusting Instagram

Tavi Gevinson in NY Mag’s The Cut:

“There are plenty of well-documented reasons to distrust Instagram — the platform where one is never not branding, never not making Facebook money, never not giving Facebook one’s data — but most unnerving are the ways in which it has led me to distrust myself. After countless adventures through the black hole, my propensity to share, perform, and entertain has melded with a desire far more cynical: to be liked, quantifiably, for an idealized version of myself, at a rate not possible even ten years ago. I think I am a writer and an actor and an artist. But I haven’t believed the purity of my own intentions ever since I became my own salesperson, too.”

Outside our front door just now

A solid opportunity to transfer some of your wealth to me and for me to transfer some of my art to your walls at www.joshwithers.art

Y’all bringing your outdoor furniture inside after using it?

As an old nerd I find it fundamentally offensive when tech podcasts publish a 404th episode instead of skipping it, or maybe publishing a no-audio audio file.

Saturday morning coffee date

I’d rather have no phone than an Android phone.

Why is it ok for William Joel to be professionally called Billy Joel but it’s not ok for Joshua Withers to be professionally called Joshy Withers?

Jerry Saltz is a gift to this generation, and his Vulture article: How to Be an Artist should be required reading for humans on planet earth:

“33 rules to take you from clueless amateur to generational talent (or at least help you live life a little more creatively).”

Matt Ruby (plus every wedding photographer I know):

Your grandparents have photos in a shoebox, but we’ll have nothing. Reminder: Just like every hard drive fails eventually, every business goes under eventually. Get a hard copy of anything you want to actually own and keep forever.

Answers to the 10 most common questions people ask about us moving to Mexico

Answering the most common questions I’ve been asked about Britt and I moving to Mexico with our two kids:

  1. When do you go? October 10, 2022, then I come back for a month’s work around Australia Nov-Dec and then I’m back in Mexico before Christmas.
  2. Where will you go? I’ll let you know when we get there. We’re going to float around and do some housesitting gigs and try to find our place in the country. Honestly, it might not even be Mexico in the end. The goal isn’t to go to Mexico, the goal is to leave our normal routines and life, and Mexico seemed like as good as any place to get a residency visa. But of course, we are going to Mexico and I always think of the people that move to Australia and go to Sydney, I reckon those internationals miss out. I don’t want to end up in the Sydney of Mexico, or the Surfers Paradise. I’d love to end up in the Tugun of Mexico, somewhere small and beautiful and unique.
  3. When will you come back? We’ll let you know when we’re back.
  4. How will you afford it? Please book our house, The Tugun Pause, on Airbnb … plus I’d love for my photography to mean something financially - you can buy prints at art.josh.withers.co. Also, we’re still running the Elopement Collective and also mentoring celebrants at The Celebrant Institute.
  5. What about the cartels? What about the snakes, spiders, crocodiles, and dropbears in Australia? Mexico is a really big nation, the whole place isn’t Narcos. I would encourage you to develop a wider view and taste of the world if you think that Mexico is all drug cartels and people smuggling.
  6. Why Mexico? Why not?
  7. What will happen to our existing businesses? We’ll still lead and operate The Elopement Collective remotely and I’m still in partnership with Sarah at The Celebrant Institute so my celebrant training and mentoring efforts will continue. Being a celebrant, that’s on ice for a season. Consider it a sabbatical.
  8. Why? The last two years have destroyed us. This is an effort to take back who we are, who we want to be, and what kind of childhood we want our kids to have. We’ve lost more than our accountant could count through this pandemic, and we’re still on the same hamster wheel. I tried changing the hamster wheel to real estate, but the truth is I needed to actually get off all hamster wheels.
  9. Will you do weddings in Mexico? I’m currently without a work visa in Mexico, so no, but I’m exploring options. Nothing will really matter until I reach my goal anyhow.
  10. What’s your goal, seeing as though you just mentioned it? My goal is to not know what to do tomorrow. When I don’t know what to do tomorrow, I’ll allow myself to start planning for the next season with Britt and the girls as a team.

Finally, if you’ve gotten this far you probably care about us as a family and are interested in our story. I’m fairly whelmed with the state of social media’s business models, algorithms, data abuse, and advertising these days so I’m publishing and sharing everything here on the blog first. If you’d like a weekly digest of everything shared here, throw your email into the subscribe form here. One day if enough of my community is subscribed here I might even just delete all the social media accounts.

A fascinating element of modern web design is that developing/producing for the open web has actually gotten harder, not easier.

I remember the promise of Microsoft FrontPage, Apple’s iWeb, Macromedia Dreamweaver, that normal people could just make websites then upload the boring old HTML, CSS, and images to a directory on a web-facing file server and bam you’re online.

But today you’ve either got Squarespace, Wix, Wordpress.com or installing Wordpress on your own server - but then shit gets weird. Like someone I know was all excited for Astro and I look at the website and in the hero image area is the instruction to “npm create astro@latest” and I have no idea what that means?

Where’s the cool and hip web content creator of today?

Never forget that time the two largest mobile phone software companies partnered together and the Australian federal government said, yeah nah, and instead blew $21 million on an app that found two cases and is being deleted today.

Sunrise this morning from Snapper Rocks

Photos were created by me, on the sunrise of Wednesday, 10 August 2022, at Snapper Rocks and Greenmount Beach at Coolangatta, Queensland. Photographed on a Canon EOS R5 with a 70-200mm lens.

Ok, this is cool: makemydrivefun.com

Can confirm this is true. Please refrain from messing with me:

“I don’t mess around with anyone over 42, they built different, their families had them formally trained in something by the time they were 2, they had keys to the house by age 5, could cook full meals at 7 and were pretty much self-sufficient at 9.

They left their house at dawn every Summer morning and didn’t come back til nightfall and survived all day on water from garden hoses, they might get a sandwich on the off chance somebody’s parents had went shopping, they spent three quarters of their lives by themselves with a parent maybe checking on them twice a month, most of them have evaded at least one kidnapping attempt, and, they know 15 different ways to remove blood stains from clothing. They the real fuck around and find out people.

My favourite weekly email newsletter - Dense Discovery - just clocked over 200 editions. Give it a read and subscribe.

You know what the most disappointing element of the Trump presidency has been is finally finding out that Area 51, aliens, werewolves etc, they don’t know. If they knew, then he’d know, and he would’ve blabbed by now.

Who knew that Trump would confirm that we’re all alone.

Australian weather data on the iOS 16 public beta doesn’t look to be any better than previous incarnations. The leftmost app is Weathergraph which is using the Apple Weather API. The middle app is Apple’s stock weather app and it’s weirdly still using The Weather Channel (USA). The right most app is the Australian Bureau of Meteorology app, the arguably one true source of Australian weather data.

Finally it’s happened! Millennials are old too!!!

Jideofor Onwugbenu on his Leverage Thoughts Substack wonders if doing a lot really does much:

In our world where the current zeitgeist is of being productive(hustle culture), where our calendars and hours are filled with events in the aim of succeeding, and where productivity channels have grown on mediums such as youtube, have we truly become productive?

I found the ‘Soon Horse’ at The Ekka today

Ekka 2022

The Withers kids hit Brisbane’s Royal Queensland Show for 2022.

All Luna wanted was a “Skye Puppy” from Paw Patrol.

John Dickerson in Slate:

“My children are vampires. I don’t mean that they are going to dress as vampires for Halloween. I mean that, like vampires, they cannot be captured on film.”

I’ve been working on getting my Instagram account back to friends and family, after a decade of “better follow this account for brand and business reasons.” Turns out that unfollowing a thousand odd accounts over three days gets you locked out of Instagram for a week.

Where are the most notable people on the planet from? This really cool mashup of Wikidata and Openmaps shows you, on a globe. Looks like I’ve got to do something pretty notable to knock my local celebrity off her mantle.

28

TikTok Moderators Are Being Trained Using Graphic Images Of Child Sexual Abuse, in Forbes:

“Nasser expected to be confronted with some disturbing material during his training to become a content moderator for TikTok. But he was shocked when he and others in his class were shown uncensored, sexually explicit images of children.”

How annoying are cold fries

Port Dougie this afternoon.

Port Douglas, Far North Queensland.

Spain says no to nice aircon temps:

“A decree published on Tuesday morning in the official state gazette and scheduled to go into effect next week mandates that air conditioning in public places be set at or above 27 degrees Celsius (about 80 degrees Fahrenheit) and that doors of those buildings remain closed to save energy.”

It’s the crocodile you don’t see you have to worry about.

Crocodiles found on the Mowbray River, just south of Port Douglas in Queensland. Photographed with a DJI Mavic 3.

Write one blog post every day that scares you

If you’re uncultured swine like me, you probably thought that Baz Lurhmann gave this commencement speech and it was released as a song.

The truth is far more boring and interesting at the same time.

Advice, like youth, probably just wasted on the young

Wear sunscreen.

If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long-term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience. I will dispense this advice now.

Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth. Oh, never mind. You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they’ve faded. But trust me, in 20 years, you’ll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can’t grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked. You are not as fat as you imagine.

Don’t worry about the future. Or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubble gum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind, the kind that blindside you at 4 p.m. on some idle Tuesday.

Do one thing every day that scares you.

Sing.

Don’t be reckless with other people’s hearts. Don’t put up with people who are reckless with yours.

Floss.

Don’t waste your time on jealousy. Sometimes you’re ahead, sometimes you’re behind. The race is long and, in the end, it’s only with yourself.

Remember compliments you receive. Forget the insults. If you succeed in doing this, tell me how.

Keep your old love letters. Throw away your old bank statements.

Stretch.

Don’t feel guilty if you don’t know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn’t know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives. Some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I know still don’t.

Get plenty of calcium. Be kind to your knees. You’ll miss them when they’re gone.

Maybe you’ll marry, maybe you won’t. Maybe you’ll have children, maybe you won’t. Maybe you’ll divorce at 40, maybe you’ll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary. Whatever you do, don’t congratulate yourself too much, or berate yourself either. Your choices are half chance. So are everybody else’s.

Enjoy your body. Use it every way you can. Don’t be afraid of it or of what other people think of it. It’s the greatest instrument you’ll ever own.

Dance, even if you have nowhere to do it but your living room.

Read the directions, even if you don’t follow them.

Do not read beauty magazines. They will only make you feel ugly.

Get to know your parents. You never know when they’ll be gone for good. Be nice to your siblings. They’re your best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.

Understand that friends come and go, but with a precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle, because the older you get, the more you need the people who knew you when you were young.

Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard. Live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft. Travel.

Accept certain inalienable truths: Prices will rise. Politicians will philander. You, too, will get old. And when you do, you’ll fantasize that when you were young, prices were reasonable, politicians were noble and children respected their elders.

Respect your elders.

Don’t expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund. Maybe you’ll have a wealthy spouse. But you never know when either one might run out.

Don’t mess too much with your hair or by the time you’re 40 it will look 85.

Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia. Dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it’s worth.

But trust me on the sunscreen.

Free business idea: Instagram, but for photos.

Many think that “the elites” or “the media” are pushing an agenda. They’re not, it’s actually worse. They’re just giving us what we want so they can sell it to us and become wealthier.

Heck, if I was them, I’d do it.

Seth Stephens-Davidowitz in Everybody Lies:

Many have viewed American journalism as controlled by rich people or corporations with the goal of influencing the masses, perhaps to push people toward their political views. Gentzkow and Shapiro’s paper suggests, however, that this is not the predominant motivation of owners. The owners of the American press, instead, are primarily giving the masses what they want so that owners can become even richer.

“When you hit a wrong note, it’s the next note that makes it good or bad.”

– Miles Davis

Brisbane on a Tuesday afternoon

It was a good month for me on Unsplash. Zero dollars made, but millions of feel-good bucks.

More Aussies - 18% - are going to be investing in crypto in the next 2yrs than real estate - 17% - so it’s going to be a pretty good 2yrs for A Current Affair. In fact, I might invest in ACA, they’re going to have some great li’l ozzy battler ripped-off stories.

TikTok's talking points are totally cool, nothing to see here, move along now, everything's cool ya see

It almost seems like TikTok is the great globalist company we’ve all been waiting for, to save us from the boredom of our everyday lives, and to connect us - not with our friends - but with some kind of massive data store in China that I am totally sure is totally ok and nothing to stress about at all, ya know.

TikTok’s public relations talking points via Gizmodo:

  • downplay the parent company ByteDance
  • downplay the China association
  • downplay AI
  • TikTok is a global company
  • The TikTok app doesn’t even operate in China
  • TikTok is highly localised in its experience and operations, which means … insert country here … has a lot of independence in the day-to-day operations of the platform

insert everything is fine gif

Tugun Beach tonight

What we measure is often not what matters

Byrne Hobart, in The Diff:

“If actors are getting older and the music we listen to is getting older, it may be because TikTok stars, Twitch streamers, and Roblox creators aren’t being counted among entertainers, even if they have a similar-sized audience. One thing that drags down the average age of Fortune 500 executives is when tech startups with young founders go public, but many of those startups don’t have the revenue to qualify for the Fortune 500, even if their market cap puts them in the S&P.”

This is the kicker, this is where the story is going. What we measure isn’t always what matters:

“Revenue is a lagging measure of impact, just as box office results are an output from fame.”

What else are we measuring that doesn’t matter as much as something we’re not measuring at all?

🌙

The radio is dead, long love the radio

Tim Burrowes in Unmade:

The meat of the event came in the panel, which included SCA CEO Grant Blackley. As is regularly the case, he was refreshingly less guarded than most of his peers. He actually told us some of what he was thinking about the company’s future direction.

It included acknowledgement that the day will come when the transmitters will be turned off, and all audio is delivered digitally. While an obvious observation, there was a time not so long ago when that would have been sacrilege coming from the person who is also chairman of Commercial Radio Australia.

Slightly to the surprise (I think) of his colleagues, Blackley also confided that he is thinking about making Listnr the main company brand. “One day you might no longer see us called SCA. You might see us called Listnr. I could see a world where if it is in fact at the centre of our universe and it is driving all of our growth and ambitions, and it houses all of our product, maybe there’s a natural extension there… who knows?”

He knows. Given that he told the audience he’d made the same point on stage at the Radiodays conference in Europe a few weeks back, I think the answer to that is that he’s already decided.

Although this is a very obvious path for the radio industry to take, because it’s where the eyes in the ears and the attention has moved.

The one remaining issue is that as a technology, AM/FM radio, DAB digital radio, and digital television broadcast, are actually quite beautiful technologies.

High definition delivery of audio and visual signals across an entire city and there’s no ISP charging per gigabyte. The only thing required to listen is a simple radio or TV receiver. As much as radio and TV as we know it today will die, it will never go away, I wonder what form it will take in the future?

I wonder what will fill the FM channels in 20 years time?

I’ll always love the radio, it was a beautiful medium in 2009 when this photo of me was taken. Today, the same radio stations are playing the same tune in a different world. That season needs to end, but what does the next look like?

Reels is less than half as successful as Stories was on the same theft timeline

Nathan Baschez in Every:

Is Reels even working?

Yes and no. Reels is now two years old and, according to my reading of the data, it’s only working about half as well as Stories was two years after it launched.

Back in 2018, when Stories was as old as Reels is now, Kevin Systrom was asked about the proportion of time spent in Stories. He declined to give a number but claimed it was “almost just as important” as the main feed. So I’m assuming it was probably somewhere in the 40–50% range.

Reels, on the other hand, only accounts for 20% of time spent—despite the fact that Instagram is pushing it a lot harder. The only thing they did to get us to use Stories was put that little row of circles at the top of our feeds. But now they’re actually sprinkling Reels directly inside our feeds so they’re impossible to ignore. If it was just a little row you could quickly scroll past, I bet that 20% figure would be much lower, perhaps below 10%.

Zuckerberg and the rice playpen

As I write this I’m standing in what used to be a seed, or maybe rice, playpen at a local indoor play centre.

Used to be, because this last week they’ve removed the seed/rice and left the floor in this playpen bare like the other areas in the centre. Apparently the upkeep of that one playpen resulted in a whole extra staff member, so the seed pen just wasn’t good for business. They’re now saving a wage, and the business plan

It was good for play, though. My three year old was very worried about its absence, and honestly, it was the main drawcard for this play centre. I’ve never seen it empty, and every toddler in the room desperately wanted to run their fingers through the hundreds of kilograms of other-kid-germ-infected seed. The seeded play pen was good for so many things, just apparently not for business.

This, seemingly, is the art of business. What can I add to my vehicle driving toward our North Star that makes the product or service more valuable, more desirable, more wanted. What can I take away that would not detract from those same elements.

How can we be driving towards our North Star with the least amount of baggage, and the most amount of joy and soul intact?

I wonder if letting that staff member go and removing the rice increased joy, soul, satisfaction in the play centre?

Which makes me think of this line from Mark Zuckerberg of Meta/Facebook/the metaverse this week:

“Our north star is can we get a billion people into the metaverse doing hundreds of dollars a piece in digital commerce by the end of the decade? If we do that, we’ll build a business that is as big as our current ad business within this decade. I think that’s a really exciting thing. I think a big part of how you do that is by pushing the open metaverse forward, which is what we’re going to do.”

What a soulless and boring North Star. Get back to me when your metaverse has a germ-ridden rice pen, Zuck.

Another dose of inspiration for my family’s 2023:

Seneca:

“Everybody agrees that no one pursuit can be successfully followed hoping I by a man who is preoccupied with many things.”

Warren Buffett:

“The difference between successful people and very successful people is that very successful people say ‘no’ to almost everything.”

My 2023 goal in Mexico is to no longer know to do.

Wendell Berry:

“It may be that when we no longer know what to do we have come to our real work, and that when we no longer know which way to go we have come to our real journey. The mind that is not baffled is not employed. The impeded stream is the one that sings.”

May god save any of you who find this book in your family homes

Scott Rosenberg in Axios:

“Mark last week as the end of the social networking era, which began with the rise of Friendster in 2003, shaped two decades of internet growth, and now closes with Facebook’s rollout of a sweeping TikTok-like redesign.”

Taylor Lorenz on why you don’t want the old Instagram back:

“It’s tempting to think that if Instagram simply reverted to a previous design or reinstated a chronological feed, that would somehow bring us closer to the people we care about. But we don’t forge personal connections by sharing or commenting on highly personal public-facing photos that are permanently displayed on a grid anymore. These days, intimacy is fostered through features like DMs, group chats, or ephemeral posts to Close Friends.”

A fancy hotel in Brisbane is trying to engage the Streisand effect by asking that these photos be removed from my Unsplash profile. It’s funny that brands are still trying to discourage user-generated content in 2022.

I might not be TikTok cool, but I’m Grammarly cool

Paul Ford in Wired mag might be onto something

Where is trust growing?

It’s often remarked upon that trust is dropping. Trust in government, science, corporations, media, journalists etc.

But where is it growing?

I feel seen, @gruber

Where the hell is she?

One of the key elements to parenting is knowing whether to say “wow” or “no, don’t do that” when your kid screams “Hey, dad!”

The co-founder of podcast host Anchor has written about his perceived issue with podcasting in the Standards Innovation Paradox, and James Cridland has responded that it hasn’t remained stagnant in its 19/21 years.

The most prominent issue I see in podcast standards today would be in forming a distinction between a serial show, an episodic show, or a one-off show, like a feature story or a documentary. Serials and episodic shows are covered already in the RSS, but I could see a type of audio story that is a single “episode” of either fiction like a feature film, or a single story like a documentary.

Instagram is embarrassing itself because it didn't steal, it copied

Five days after Instagram launched in October 2010 I graced the new photo-sharing service with this gold nugget.

[Instagram screenshot from October 2010] (https://www.instagram.com/p/-iO/?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=)

4,301 days later who knew that I could have summed up the entire social network in four words.

“Make me feel better!”

Instagram made me feel better for the longest time. The simple act of making and viewing photos was lubricated to the point of a simple addiction. I could make photos and share them so easily, and you could share your photos and I could experience them so easily. We would doom scroll wanting to see more of each other’s world through the film-filtered Instagram app. Instagram, having stolen from Hipstamatic, did what the hispters never achieved - they made photo sharing easy and beautiful on our new fandangled Apple-branded telephones.

I still remember the early months of Britt and my relationship when she learned about Instagram and when she found out it wasn’t available for Android phones we bought her an iPhone. She switched to an iPhone to use a free photo-sharing app.

Making people feel better is the key to success in business, you’re solving people’s problems, making them feel better. Instagram made us feel so much better.

In the almost 12 years since, the service has adapted new features, like video, IGTV, Stories, and Reels. Each step along that path of evolution has become more and more embarrassing for it.

In 2015 when it adopted Snapchat’s Stories feature the theft was seen as an act of survival, and we generally all went along with it. After all, we wanted Stories but didn’t want to change to Snapchat and risk getting sexted by some young person along the way.

2018’s introduction of IGTV was a hedge against YouTube on mobile. Turns out that portrait/tall video was a few years too early for us.

But in the first year of the Covid pandemic when Instagram replicated TikTok’s video service as an Instagram feature called Reels, that’s when the social network started losing its soul. The desperation to kill TikTok by replicating, copying, the whole service as a feature has brought us to July 2022 when the entire app has evolved into an Instagram-shaped TikTok.

There’s a difference between stealing and copying.

Great artists steal. When an artist - I’m not sure Adam Mosseri would identify as an artist - copies, they replicate, duplicate, they make a facsimile of something else. It lacks soul, and it lacks care. Copying is not what an artist does. Copying is what a lazy corporate slave does.

Stealing, however, is key to being a great artist. If I steal from you, I take your thing and it becomes mine. I take ownership of it. I care for it. It has my attention, it has my soul. Great artists steal. They take your idea and make it their own. If Instagram stole TikTok’s video feature, it would look different to Reels. Reels wasn’t stolen from TikTok, it was copied.

The easiest way to see if Instagram stole or copied TikTok would be to open the recently updated app and see if it carries the craftsmanship of people who care. Is the user experience beautiful, is it thought through? The content being posted on Instagram as a Reel, does it have a Tiktok watermark on it or is it original content made for Instagram?

Also, what’s the deal with some parts of the app being black like a dark mode, and some being white. The recent update is just so poorly implemented.

I often wonder about what the future looks like, and the only data we have to work with is the past. Which major brands, companies, and products ceased to exist in the past - and why? Why am I typing this on a MacBook instead of a Compaq? Why is my phone an iPhone, not a Nokia? Why is my car a Mazda, not a Holden? Why is my internet connection provided by Aussie Broadband, not OzEmail?

For all the P&Ls, corporate mission statements, leadership changes, and org charts, I humbly believe that products/brands/companies that continue to exist, exist because they carry soul and bring purpose into the world, they continue to solve our problems. For all the complaints you can have about Apple Inc., there is a mountain of evidence that the individuals inside the company care about the products they ship. They might have different priorities than you or I, and what they care about might differ from what you’d like them to care about, but it is inarguable that they care.

It’s clear, without a doubt, that Meta, Mark Zuckerberg, and Adam Mosseri, do not care about Instagram. They care about eradicating - or at least neutralising - the competition and now that they can’t simply buy their competition, the goal is to strangle them out of the marketplace. Welcome to modern capitalism, and Meta is welcome to engage in it, but I’m also at liberty to comment that it’s embarrassing and I can’t help but feel that this recent copying won’t result in the goal they are shooting for.

My friend, Scotty McDonald, accused me of becoming a ratchety old man who doesn’t like change, tweeting: “I remember when you were the fearless, early adopting, shining light in my life”. I honestly hope this isn’t the beginning of my slide into the old man yells at cloud meme. But that’s why I blog, to document my eventual demise into a senile old man who might of had a few correct insights along the way.

Regardless, the July 2022 “TikTokfication” of Instagram doesn’t make me feel better, and that was Instagram’s one job.

Coffee. Coffee is what’s at the end of the rainbow. There, I solved it all for you.

They’re showing off Wisk’s flying cars at King George Square in Brisbane today.

Craig Mod (devastatingly) on travel:

“The romantic ideal of travel is to leave as one version of yourself and return another, changed, ‘better’ version of yourself. This trip changed me, but not in the ways you might classically expect. I’ve returned suspicious of travel, more confused than ever about why so many people travel. Unsure if most travel of the last few decades makes sense, or has ever made sense or justified the cost. It feels like some consumerist, un-curious notion of travel was seeded long ago and, like a zombie fungus, has mind-controlled everyone to four specific canals in Venice. To a single painting at the Louvre. To three streets and a square in Manhattan. To a few rickety back alleys around Gion. An eminently photogenic set of torii in Kyoto.”

Monday morning from Main Beach, Surfers Parasise, and the Broadwater

Only 80s kids will know the answer:

  1. CGA
  2. EGA
  3. TANDY
  4. VGA

But …

The story behind “She’ll Be Coming ‘Round the Mountain”:

“Most foremen working at that time were chiefly hired for their musical abilities, as singing automatically lifted the spirits of the workers and made the whole process smoother”

#bringbacksingingforemen

Consider me sold on water filtration. Six months ago we got a complete home water filtration unit installed. I wasn’t against it, I just didn’t consider it necessary.

Today I replaced the filters for the first time.

See if you can pick which ones are the six-month-old filters.

I still believe this 10 years on

The one where Charlie Day beats up Ben Abraham. If I Didn’t Love You, the Music Video.

Jim Rohn:

“You don’t get paid for the hour. You get paid for the value you bring to the hour.”

Do banks call debit cards, credit cards, and credit cards, debit cards? Because if it’s a credit card for me, it’s a debit card for them. Right? We both can’t call them credit cards, that’s not how accounting works.

I swear I’m the only person who googles “New Amazon Kindle Oasis” every week waiting to see if I’ve missed the announcement I’ve been waiting for. The second I buy a new current generation Oasis will be the day they release a new one, I know it.

I’m fascinated by this idea: Vickrey auction as price discovery mechanism

“If you run a sale at $X, the most you can learn is that Y people were willing to buy there. Actually, not even that: If your entire inventory sells out, you learn only that at least that many people were willing to buy — you don’t learn how many would’ve bought your kit, had it been in stock.”

Queensland woman sacked for not including an emoji in a text message:

Ms Wang stated repeatedly that the Applicant “didn’t add any smiley faces! There are no emotions!”

Tuesday sunrise from Tugun with Luna (and a visit to Highline Palm Beach for espresso afterward)

I’ve convinced Luna that Hall & Oates’ “Rich Girl” is actually “Big Girl” and that it’s about her. She now requests the song about her. I don’t know what I have done, but I’ve probably made a mistake.

This story about Disney - and Hollywood - in China is wild:

The other fascinating part about Disney’s strategy involves the string of English language schools that they opened in the country.

When they were building their theme park in Shanghai, they knew that a child won’t beg their parents to go to a theme park unless they love the characters that they’ll see there. Disney said, “Well, okay, we don’t have decades of movies to do this with.” And they were not allowed [by the Chinese government] to get a Disney Channel onto Chinese airwaves.

So what they decided to do was to launch a string of schools called Disney English, which would essentially teach young Chinese children English, but using Disney characters: Mickey wants an apple, or Luke Skywalker is 30 years old. I walked by one of these schools when I was there, and I remember that Toy Story 4 was coming out that week; all of the teachers were wearing Toy Story 4 T-shirts. So it doubled as a really effective marketing tool as well. Not only did these kids learn the English that their parents wanted them to speak, but they also left with an affection for these Disney characters that they had been introduced to.

Read more at Big Hollywood movies are being made with Chinese audiences in mind - Vox

James Clear:

“Many people are not ready for their lucky break when it comes to them.

Develop your skills. Study your craft. Save some money. Build a network before you need it. Lay the ground work.

The prepared person is positioned to benefit from unexpected opportunities.”

🕵️ Fresh air

Police are now targeting:

  • People who don’t know to walk away from the counter after they’ve ordered their coffee.
  • Americans who think that America is the only country on earth.
  • Anyone named Boris.

Facebook, weve been married for like 15 years now, I really thought you’d know me better.

Also, Brittany, this is 33% your fault.

Not everyone is an artist

James Dale Davidson:

“In the future, wealth will be measured not just by the amount in your bank account, but in your ability to structure your affairs to realise complete individual autonomy and independence.”

A Josh-eyed view of Pullerbopulloke, or as the brits called it, Bacchus Marsh, named after Captain William Henry Bacchus and the marsh he brought his Tassie sheep to.

Love Gets Weird

God is love but love gets weird Said the flea to the ant in the devil’s beard We are passengers here, and it’s as we feared That God is love but love gets weird

Yes, God gets weird and so does love Said the flea to the ant and gave him a shove And came down upon him from above Crying, God gets weird and so does love

Well, Weird got Love and God got Weird And in the monstrous morning there appeared The very thing we’ve always feared That God is nothing, but love gone weird

Words by Nate Lane/Nick Cave

It’s great that Google’s automatically deleting location history to keep people safe, it’d just be nice if they extended it to include me buying ice cream.

Watching Melbourne wake up this morning from the Maribyrnong River

Nothing says “you’re awesome at decisions” like purchasing a $2 service station coffee at 5pm on a Saturday.

A few observations on flying out of the Gold Coast this morning.

  1. I departed through a new fancy boarding gate, they have scales in the floor to weigh carry-on stealthily. The new gates are also a bit confusing to reach.

  2. for the first time in over 350 flights over 20 years with Qantas my carry-on luggage was weighed and subsequently checked in as luggage, aka taken off me. Which is fine, it’s the rules. But it’s also why professionals fly Qantas, because they won’t touch our carry-on. If that bag doesn’t arrive in Melbourne, I can’t marry a couple this afternoon.

  3. the Qantas staff seem to be sick and tired of … gestures at everything … and can you blame them?

I had 14kg over two bags and was travelling only carry-on because I have a quick transfer and I’m low on faith in the Sydney and Melbourne baggage handlers. Here’s hoping for luggage success.

Over the microphone one of the crew has announced that it’s great to have us onboard, I’m sure it’s not.

Dr. Gabor Maté​:

“The road to hell is not paved with good intentions. It is paved with lack of intention.”

Tom Johnson on realising his attention span has become fragmented:

“Sometimes, I’d occasionally pull out my phone without any particular reason, unlock the screen, and just stare at it dumbly, not sure about which app to open.”

I’d like to start a coffee shop in Cupertino called Appel Perk

The Queensland government is rolling out a plastic ban, which is going to be detrimental to the Gold Coast surgical improvement market.

It’s hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they always take things literally.

I don’t know which PAW Parrol parents need to hear this but: Mayor Goodway is the mayor of Adventure Bay and Mayor Humdinger is the mayor of Foggy Bottom with a population of one - which is him.

Both are current mayors in the generally same location.

“Hopefully this makes you really angry or confirms your preexisting biases and worldviews. Best of luck xoxo”

  • The Algorithm

Off to the lawyers we go

I’ve always wanted to see my work published, so when my friend Justin suggested I had been in a photo book called “Australia: A Celebration”, I went investigating.

$16! What a bargain!

Oh, there I am.

If you’re liking these photos, I reckon you’d really like my Unsplash portfolio where you can use all the images for free.

You just can’t sell them.

And there I’m not. No attribution, at the least.

No permission sought, or license payment made.

Off to the lawyers we go.

"Make known the unknown; murder your fantasies

Craig Mod to Kai in Dense Discovery 194:

“It’s easy to be seduced by the world of potentiality. A book is always greatest before it’s written. You are intoxicated by what it can be. That’s very dangerous. You want to kill those seductions as quickly as possible, and one way to achieve that is fast iteration.

Make known the unknown; murder your fantasies.”

From my boy @JayT0pp’s email:

“The tourist seeks out culture because in our world culture has disappeared into the maw of the spectacle. Culture has been torn down and replaced with a mall or a talk ­show. Because our education is nothing but a preparation for a lifetime of work and consumption-because we ourselves have ceased to create.”

Gold Coast winter’s sunset

View to Surfers Paradise in 1986 versus 2022.

1986 photo by Leo Meier, published in Above Queensland in 1986, purchased in an op-shop for $1 in 2022.

Allow yourself the uncomfortable luxury of changing your mind

Kevin Kelly in The Need for World Government

“It seems obvious to me that planetary problems demand planetary government.”

owner

Some personal news: we’re moving to Mexico later this year. It’s time to get off the hamster wheel.

“I want something more concise, more simple, more serious; I want more soul and more love and more heart.”

– Vincent van Gogh

The audio is dead, long live the audio!

Audio is such an intimate medium.

I was lucky enough to catch the final half hour of Laurel, Gary & Mark’s final breakfast show on Brisbane’s 4KQ. A station with 75 years of history, and a breakfast show that’s been on air for 16 years, and one of the hosts has been there for 31 years. It was beautiful hearing the stories and the way the show has impacted lives.

In a world so heavily motivated to move to short-form video the intimacy of audio won’t be long forgotten.

AM and FM radio might have to change business model, but the beauty of audio being freely broadcast across the airwaves will find a new home.

I would posit that one day in the near future someone is going to reinvent audio and it’ll be a game-changer. Podcasts aren’t the final solution - they’re fine but they’re a transition medium not the next medium, nor is Spotify or whatever Apple has at any time. Maybe radio has a hand in it, but some smart person is going to blow our mind with audio in a similar way that TikTok and Reels and YouTube have made impressive gains in video.

And I am here for it.

The audio is dead, long live the audio!

Please sign my petition to have butter knives demoted to flat metal sticks. They’re clearly not a type of knife.

Get behind me, devil!

The British Embassy versus the USA Embassy versus the Iranian Embassy in Canberra.

Fav YouTube of all time: New Yorkers missing the train

I don’t want to be the one to tell them that’s not how podcasts work

What a Story // Brisbane

Spent today making profile and branding photos for a Brisbane cybersecurity firm which failed to protect these bread rolls from pigeons so I’m not sure if they’re any good.

Stolen valour: Christianity Today’s Mike Cosper publishes a damming review of some Christian leaders that have made news of late.

“an interesting evolution of what it means to be a pastor”

Good morning, Gold Coast

Sign me up for this reading

Just a note for my obituary, if you’re looking for extra things to mention: every time I encounter a wrong address, or entry, or error on Apple Maps I report it.

Adults, we must rise up.

We have the power, we have the means, we have the skills, we have the tools.

We must delete, remove, stop the Baby Shark.

For five years the shark has tormented us, enough is enough.

Flying my drone to capture the sunrise this morning and on the way back home I stumbled across these magnificent creatures

The moonrise tonight over the Paciifc Motorway at Ormeau

Derek Thompson:

“work is not life’s product, but its currency. What we choose to buy with it is the ultimate project of living.”

Not gonna lie, Internet Explorer peaked at version 3. It’s been down hill for the 26 years since.

My in-depth review of the new Eclipse ‘Comfort’ mints in honey, lemon, and ginger flavour:

Chew these mints to open a portal to hell in your mouth.

Heaven is the right USB-C cable

Funny way to spell Straya

A re-release of Nickelback’s Photograph but it’s about Facebook Memories.

iOS 17 Idea: Screensavers for iPhone. Specifically After Dark.

She did this all on her own 🍆

Posting this photo because I’m simply pretty proud of it. I’ve been carrying this 16mm lens around for a while in-case I was stuck between a rock and a hard place trying to get an interior shot. But yesterday I challenged myself to use it all afternoon.

99% of asking for advice is just confirming what you already wanted to do.

‘You only have one shot’: how film cameras won over a younger generation. Imogen Kars in the Guardian:

“The lack of instant feedback is important”

It’s whack to think that 329 million people’s identity and culture is built on a document written by a few rebellious 29-year-olds wearing wigs in 1776.

Friday afternoon in Wentworth Falls, NSW

Josh Spector on writing a newsletter that helps you sell:

“You’ll never become the center of a community by only talking about yourself.”

The world as 100 people over the last two centuries. Spoiler: things are looking good.

This is cool:

“Sleep stories from First Nations storytellers.”

Dreamy.

This is the weakest take. (See screenshot)

A groom’s role in a wedding is in equal nature to the other person being married.

A wedding is not a “bride’s day” or a single person’s day.

A wedding is an event hosted by the couple - together, where they actually do get married, but more importantly, they broadcast to their closest friends and family that this is who they are. That people like us, we celebrate and commemorate important things like this. You’re erecting a billboard in your community that tells everyone what your values are and what kind of life you are building for yourself and your family.

In this Quora post David is saying that exact thing. When important things happen to him and his wife, he closes his mouth, and doesn’t look regretful, so his wife can be happy for just a moment, before she returns to her boring life where she has to put up with this downtrodden husk of a man.

This is the actual real-life manifestation of toxic masculinity.

"The world is a museum of passion projects"

Three collected thoughts on what the world, all this around us, is:

“As you become an adult, you realise that things around you weren’t just always there; people made them happen. But only recently have I started to internalise how much tenacity everything requires. That hotel, that park, that railway. The world is a museum of passion projects.”

– @collision

“Everything requires maintenance to avoid decay, and this ongoing cost is commonly underestimated and unappreciated by the inexperienced, ambitious, or distracted. Hence the virtue of focus and humility.”

– @saylor

“That’s a very limited life. Life can be much broader, once you discover one simple fact, and that is that everything around you that you call life was made up by people that were no smarter than you. And you can change it, you can influence it, you can build your own things that other people can use. Once you learn that, you’ll never be the same again.”

– Steve Jobs

“Pessimists sound smart. Optimists make money.”

— @natfriedman

It’s Time to Bring Back the Away Message, Lauren Good in WIRED:

I miss Away Messages. This nostalgia is layered in abstraction; I probably miss the newness of the internet of the 1990s, and I also miss just being … away. But this is about Away Messages themselves—the bits of code that constructed Maginot Lines around our availability. An Away Message was a text box full of possibilities, a mini-MySpace profile or a Facebook status update years before either existed. It was also a boundary: An Away Message not only popped up as a response after someone IM’d you, it was wholly visible to that person before they IM’d you.

And Away

Today in Sydney

It’s now Six Guys, I’m that invested

“Once upon a time people were born into communities and had to find their individuality. Today people are born individuals and have to find their communities.”

— K-Hole

It’s really nice to see the Queen finally make Platinum, but I thought @Qantas would’ve just given her an honorary frequent flyer status considering who she is.

Whose pockets is Big Honeydew in so tht honeydew continues to be included as a token fruit salad filler. (Six months later I have an investigative podcast on this topic)

Elon Musk sentiment is slowly swinging negatively, but in a Trump-like fashion, where it’s not so much about a swing, but a widening, gaping, divide between camps.

A divide that I would argue isn’t healthy, despite what anyone thinks of Musk - or Trump. Deep cultural and societal divides are unhelpful because the issue stops being the issue, and the divide becomes the issue.

I’m more and more convinced that everyone having the same size microphone and font on the internet is a bad idea.

But how do we come back from it?

Today in the Numinbah Valley

“So what’s the Original Sin of the Internet? Nearly all business models it supports require spying on consumers and monetising them.”

— Bob Sullivan

Say what you will about brand activations and capitalism ruining the world, I am 100% here for the Bondi Bigfoot and whatever has happened to The Sydney Morning Herald/The Hawkins Post this morning.

Norman Greenbaum’s Spirit in the Sky but it’s about coffee.

“Lust for the future, treasure the past.”

— Jimmy Buffett

Went to Sydney for 10 hours today and tried to go to Luna park which could honestly do some yard work.

Sydney today

Is it tho?

Simulating your life’s finances like a computer game is depressing

A cyber security article published twenty years ago.

Envisioning a Cyber “Center for Disease Control”

Was blessed to actually see colour in the sky this afternoon. Had to ask Google whether colour in the sky was a shepherd’s delight or not.

Anyone who isn’t embarrassed by who they were last year isn’t learning enough

"He will take your daughters to be perfumers and cooks and bakers"

We, we the people, reframe and view government as a god. Which is quite unhealthy. We position our prime ministers and presidents as idols, put them on a pedestal, and expect a lot from them.

Ultimately, those positions - from the top to the bottom of the organisation chart - are not gods, they are servants. They serve our community. We render a select number of social services to this service provider and ask them to look after them. We’re talking roads, border control, hospitals, those dinky little health brochures, and everything in between.

We essentially outsource all these things to the state, federal, and local governments. This is great because I don’t want to be responsible for maintaining roads, bringing justice to situations, or manning the borders.

In doing this we are making the same choice the Israelites made when they asked Samuel for a king. So we get a king and we “render unto Caesar the things that are Caesar’s, and unto God the things that are God’s”.

Not everything is the government’s job. They are not a god, or God and some things shouldn’t be outsourced to the government.

Abortion, for example, I see abortion as a symptom of an unwell society. If abortion is occurring and it is unsafe then there should be safety regulations around it, but ultimately these laws or regulations are just bumper bars on the ten pin bowling alleyway.

When you are unwell, you don’t treat the symptoms, you treat the cause.

What is the cause of abortion? Who are these people wanting/having abortions? Do they really actually want an abortion, or would they have a child if the circumstances were different, either residentially, financially, or relationally? Maybe if they weren’t abused or tricked, they would want to become a parent?

Maybe there are people who genuinely want an abortion. Perhaps the baby is the unplanned result of a sexual encounter, what life are they leading where they want this? Surely there is something below the surface? A pattern of abuse, sexual or otherwise, that lead them to this place? Surely if families weren’t broken, and if we were vulnerable with each other, if we had tighter communities, we wouldn’t be reaching this endpoint?

I’m a middle-aged white guy, so I’m sure I’ve missed a case for abortion, but I struggle to believe that anything more than a few people are genuinely out there “murdering babies” with murderous intent. I imagine that most, almost all, would be regretful and mournful but seemingly without choice and between a rock and a hard place.

Legislation, machine-learning, artificial intelligence, and even Ceasar (the government), don’t know how to deal with complex issues like abortion, because they are human issues, with complex routing, complex incentives, responsibilities, and longterm effects.

But in his grace and glory, Christ does, and his ambassadors can. Let us render unto God what is God’s.

This position will anger pro-abortion and anti-abortion people because it actually requires you to care, listen, and lean in. It might even require some of your money or your resources. People aren’t ready to take personal responsibility for it.

But as Samuel warned the Israelites:

“These will be the ways of the king who will reign over you: he will take your sons and appoint them to his chariots and to be his horsemen to run before his chariots; and he will appoint for himself commanders of thousands and commanders of fifties, and some to plow his ground and to reap his harvest, and make his implements of war and the equipment of his chariots. He will take your daughters to be perfumers and cooks and bakers. He will take the best of your fields and vineyards and olive orchards and give them to his courtiers.

Kings can be real bitches.

“Listen to the voice of the people in all that they say to you; for they have not rejected you, but they have rejected me from being king over them”

If I can end on a real note, I really struggle when Christians get so excited about governments, electing the right governments, having the right kings, and I’m like, you read 1 Samuel mate?

Yes, I do want to report the problem now. Boots and swimmers is illegal I think.

Apple has rebranded “Apple Pay Cash” to “Apple Cash” and launched new splash pages for the service, along with new pages for Apple Wallet and Apple Pay. Is the money transfer amongst iMessage users launching globally this WWDC?

I think about this daily. It really challenges my default setting of hitting life like a to-do list:

“Life is not a problem to be solved, but a reality to be experienced.”

— Dutch Theosophist Jacobus Johannes van der Leeuw

Anyone else just really want to see Louis Theorux’s Fiat?

Well, I’m so glad that we got the correct result with the election and all of our problems are solved and we can all just share cat videos online for the next three years, no more angry tweets right?

The “day after a federal election” vibes

I, for one, welcome our new DJ overlord.

If I am elected President of Australia tonight, in my first 100 days I will bring back the stirring spoon to McDonalds McFlurries. I will make McFlurries flurried again.

Luna was really upset. She thought we were going on a boat when I said that we were going to vote. Teach your kids the difference between floating on water and enacting change.

Name a better collab, I’ll wait

As someone who attends weddings professionally, I find it amazing that in ‘woke 2022 where we’ve #metoo’d, we’re feminists, living in a diverse community with global internet access, that Millenials are getting married & half the weddings I arrive at are culturally 1960s themed.

“Leaving everything up to the publishing industry is not the best way to run a culture.”

– Brewster Kahle

“It is far easier to critique than to create”

– Laurence Endersen

Grandpa

I think it’s beautiful that guys with crazy eyes who only wear gym shorts find love.

Who had Louis Theroux being the most popular rapper of 2022 on their 2022 bingo card?

I, for one, welcome our new sunny and shining overlord

David Thorne was doing NFTs well before everyone else

One of the best things about the internet is how you are distincitly awards how few people are listening to you.

For a decade I worked in an industry where we broadcast from soundproof rooms playing music and talking excitedly under the guise of everyone listening to us.

Here on the internet we have verifiable proof that most people aren’t listening.

So if you feel alone here, you’re not. But then you weirdly, kind of, really are.

Rest In Peace, still images on Instagram

Ok, I’m a little bit sad because the Internet is changing and I don’t like it.

My favourite thing to create outside of marriage ceremonies, are photos. Video is fine, but there’s something so beautifully finite about a photo.

A photo says everything it wants to say and no more. You don’t need volume up, and you can give it as much attention as you like. You’re not forced to spend a certain amount of time on it. You can spend all day looking at and thinking about a still photo, or half a second.

The medium requires nothing, but everything off you. You can just as easily swipe past it as much as it can change your life.

High quality and colour graded is nice, but I think about the first computer I owned. The entire screen was 640 pixels wide, and 480 pixels high, and each pixel could be one of 256 colours. Nothing fancy, but I saw photos that changed me on that screen.

So Instagram, Facebook, and Meta are pretty much moving away from still photos. Recent changes mean the entire company is deprioritising photos and prioritising Reels. Think about the last time you saw something on a Meta platform that wasn’t a moving picture.

So if we want to stay in touch, it’s gotta be over video. Unless you’re on somewhere cool like Twitter, Glass, or Micro.Blog I guess.

Video killed the photograph star.

When a wedding vendor emails you prices and you don’t reply

Talking to a celebrant friend this morning and they have a funeral this afternoon where there’s only one family member attending because the deceased pissed off everyone she ever knew.

The celebrant has a reading that’s “good for people who pissed everyone off.”

Apple Photos’ memories feature can detect when I’m at a Foo Fighters concert but categorises the photos from the hospital at Southport where both our daughters first appear in the library as “Southport over the years”.

As an Australian who consumes far too much American content in the form of podcasts and emails, let me echo Douglas Adams:

“American audiences do not need to feel disturbed by the notion that places do exist outside the US”

When I’m not marrying people, or shitposting on social, I write a weekly email for the southern end of the Gold Coast called The Tugun Pause. In [today’s issue I wonder if a monorail would be better than the light rail everyone takes issue with](Do you think a monorail would be better than light rail? https://www.tugunpause.com/p/its-a-bit-wet-innit?s=w).

Whenever I hear people talk about the Christian/Catholic vote I always wonder why it has nothing to do with Matthew 25.

I reckon if Jesus was a registered Australian voter today he’d probably vote the Greens first based on Matthew 25.

Staff member of the 24/7 convenience store next to nightclubs in Fortitude Valley tells me that the clothes and footwear are how they make bank. The drinks and food are for the daytime crowd.

Playing with motion in Fortitude Valley tonight

Filed under “odd anniversaries” today is the 13th anniversary of the first time I saw a Newton in real life and also the Robina Apple Store opened.

It’s funny that the term “PC” aka personal computer has been essentially been burned describing Wintel computers when the truest and most-personal computers today do not run Windows nor do they run Intel chips.

🦋

So, like, this wasn’t a thing before?

Currumbin

At first I was stridently against the idea of combining a hen’s party and a marriage ceremony, but honestly, it worked out fine. A++ would recommend.

Elyse & Jon #marriedbyjosh in Byron Bay.

OOL

“Let everything happen to you: beauty and terror. Just keep going. No feeling is final.”

– Rainer Maria Rilke

Moon. No editing or filtering. Just the boring old moon standing there looking glorious tonight. As seen from Byron Bay.

A new issue of the Tugun Pause is in inboxes with my proudest headline yet: 416 crimes and a beach ain’t one.

A friend just reminded me of that time I was on Sunrise for a Star Wars wedding on … May the fourth. God bless the internets, may you always archive my weird business endeavours.

Tintenbar garden

“Everyone has talent; what is rare is the courage to follow the talent to the dark places where it leads.”

– Erica Jong

“To keep young kids behaving on a car road trip, have a bag of their favourite candy and throw a piece out the window each time they misbehave.”

– Kevin Kelly

I love a sunburnt country

SYD

Photography from space was an afterthought. Astronaut John Glenn bought a Minolta 35mm from a drugstore.

“At the beginning of the space program hardly anyone thought of photographs from space as anything more than a branch of industrial photography.”

329km driving. 807km flying. 11km hike. All to create a marriage ceremony on a Monday afternoon.

12 French submarines < 255 French-ish aircraft

That’s not a Qantas flight … that’s a Qantas flight.

An Airbus A350-1000 in Hangar 96, Sydney Airport, for the announcement of Project Sunrise.

That face when the situation is not escalating

Back at my Ryan Bingham impersonation this morning.

🏖

Rich people need it. Poor people have it. If you eat it, you die. And when you die, you take it with you. What is it?

Hastings Point this afternoon 📷 playing with a 45 year old 35mm manual focus Canon FD lens on my Canon EOS R5.

☀️

My three year old loves making photos, has a Micro.Blog! Her username is @lunawithers, her blog is here, and this is the kids camera she’s using.

Tom Cruise #notshotoniphone

Is love of aviation photography a hereditary thing? I guess we’ll never know.

6:42am this morning // Brunswick Heads // Susara & Jake

Set an alarm to get up for sunrise this morning ….

What’s the story with hot air balloons carrying advertising? Is it a layover from former deals? Do the advertisers pay once, or a regular rate? It seems odd today.

Here’s some hot air balloonists over Brunswick Heads this morning.

Sunrise elopement at Brunswick Heads this morning

Wategos Beach this afternoon

Do you guys need me to pick you up anything while I’m here?

Whenever I am out in public with either or both of my children I always carry their birth certificate with me so that I can easily and quickly prove that I am a Certified Practising Parent and not some hooligan that just walks around pretending to be a legit adult with children.

How my body feels after the last two years of life and parenting

Everyone stop looking. I found them.

My thoughts on Elon Musk buying Twitter

A friend asked “Thoughts on Musk Twitter?” in a message, I replied, and thought, that should be a blog post:

The man’s not an idiot, and Twitter hasn’t thrived as a public company. He’s one of the few people who could buy it without antitrust issues whilst also actually uses the actual product and has an interest in it.

I reckon it’s a potential net-positive.

Worst case scenario: Twitter fades into obscurity as it has been for a while.

Best case scenario: Maybe there’s a social media platform with a better platform than “we know everything about you and use that to sell ads.”

As for the people who think Elon could of spent the money better, spending other people’s money is easy, spend your own on charity.

How old do kids have to be to ride on the dash? Asking for Goldie.

Everyone’s worried about what @elonmusk is going to do to Twitter the social network, but no-one’s talking about how he’s going to get printed copies of all our draft tweets every morning and if he thinks they’re good he’ll just post them on his own account.

I just can’t believe a rich guy bought the free bird website off other rich people. It’s like non-rich people only get to use the free bird website, not own it, I guess.

☀️

I’m a little bit obsessed with strapping this 50 year old Canon FD 50mm f/1.4 lens onto my Canon EOS R5 mirrorless camera with an Urth adaptor.

Canon FD 50mm strapped onto a Canon EOS R5 ⛽️

Police are now targeting podcast producers who say that they will put a link in the show notes, yet do not put that link in the notes.

VH-VPE, VH-VPD, VH-VPH at Wellcamp Airport

Former Virgin Australia Boeing 777-300ERs, VH-VPE, VH-VPD, VH-VPH, hanging out at Toowoomba’s Wellcamp Airport.

Queensland Regional Accommodation Centre. Or as Scotty McDonald calls it, The Steven Miles Centre For Excellence, or as I’ll call it, The Queensland Labor Money Pit.

Just three Boeing 777’s hanging out in a field.

💨

If I had to choose, I’d give it all away for the simple joy of being their dad

This is weird, but I need your help finding a ball.

KMart used to sell these little massage balls that look like a virus emoji 🦠. About 12cm in diameter, and really hard plastic. They’ve discontinued the product and I’ve bought about 4 similar ones from Amazon but they’re soft rubbery plastic and not what I need.

I need hard plastic, something I can dig my heel into and bring peace to my plantar fasciitis.

It is so weird to experience old white male sexism in the flesh. I am pushing a pram through a shopping centre with my one-year-old daughter in it and a guy who I’ve never seen before says to me “that colour purse really suits you.”

DF: Biden Administration Looks Gift Horse in Mouth, But Can’t See It Because the Horse Is Wearing a Mask

CDC guidelines suggest, for example, that nobody should eat rare steak or runny eggs, and that a woman should not have more than one alcoholic drink a day.

Danny Elfman, creator of The Simpson’s theme song, performs The Simpson’s Theme Song at Coachella and it’s beautiful.

Flight attendant said that if we “hear the words e and vacuate” then those of us in the emergency row have to do something with the window and it’s all I can think about now. Do I let her know it’s one word? If they say evacuate do we still pop the window?!

Making like ScoMo and Canberra’s in my rearview mirror

At the risk of outing myself as a business guy and customer journey nerd, why don’t cafes and shops just increase their prices by 1.5% instead of plastering signs like this across their business?

Finally someone answers the big question: Where has Yahoo Serious been?

Drove the dirt road from Tumut to Canberra this morning.

Is it street photography if you made the photo in a car?

Argalong - population of 29 - at 6am this morning

Yes, I would like fries with that

Waxing Gibbous from QF1765 tonight

Damn Qantas gamifying being green so I feel incentivised to achieve an arbitrary goal.

The Good Friday commute

Pretty good Friday

VA534

Game night at the Gabba

Tonga’s triple disaster - Expsoure:

“We felt very vulnerable because our island, Lifuka, is so low. We just ran for the highest point, the hospital. Later we were warned not to drink the rainwater as sulphate from the ash had contaminated everything.”

I still have a bit of a traumatic reaction crossing this border to go to work.

Cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool.

A list of principles for a class taught by artist and educator Sister Corita Kent in 1967-1968:

Nothing is a mistake.

If I’m making photographs for fun - aka not for money - I’m often shooting with a 41 year old lens that was passed on to me from my aunty, a Minolta MD 50mm f2 strapped onto the front of my Canon EOS R5.

There’s nothing technically special about the lens, but I love that it’s seen so much of the world. Plus I like the images it makes

But because it’s a manual focus only lens, it’s a nice trick if any images are in focus.

Recently started playing with Topaz Sharpen AI and that software really helps me where my manually focusing fingers fail me.

“We’re the Aristocrats!”

RIP Gilbert Gottfried.

This weekend I’m in Gundagai for a wedding, and I’ve got a little bit of Saturday and Sunday morning exploration time. Where should I go exploring in this area this weekend?

I don’t know how to say this without sounding a bit up my self, but I just spelled ‘poignantly’ correctly on the first go.

My fuel and drink at BP just came to $100.01, so I asked the girl behind the counter if I have a one cent discount so I could get a really nice number in my accounting software. She looked at me as if I was a crazy man.

Twitter’s asking a lot of questions about longer form writing today

Can we, or more to the point, will we innovate our way out of gestures at everything?

“So long as we keep choosing to create. If we keep doing what it is we do as people. We are explainers and constructors. We are creators. We are resource makers.”

Brett Hall

I hope for a future where our thoughts, our conversations, our relationships, and our transactions are not handled by a handful of the largest companies on the globe.

I just think it’s a nicer world that way.

So I blog at micro.blog and that shares to some places, and I manually share to Facebook and/or Instagram sometimes, but ultimately I’d love to become acquainted with you outside of a corporate algorithm.

One way to achieve that is email. Apart from Google’s every attempt to ruin the experience for us, you subscribe to an email list and it appears in your inbox. You can reply to me, I can reply to you. It’s good.

If you like what I share, and you’d like to get it in an automatic weekly digest, chuck your email address in here joshwithers.blog/subscribe.

Mark Fisher, in k-punk, on naming things like music genres:

“Naming is not a neutral act of referring. Naming produces surplus value, something that wasn’t already there in the first place.”

One of my favourite aspects of the world wide web and the internet, is the process upon which we find people who think the same as we do. People whose minds vibrate on a similar frequency to ours.

So I present to you: Jameson Orvis’s ‘the essence of place’

“The more I think about this label placement the more it pisses me off. Perhaps I could forgive the label for being so far from the geographic center of Brooklyn if the intersection of Brooklyn Ave and Atlantic Ave were at all remarkable. But no it’s just a random intersection along the A/C line with a 7/11 that the Google Maps label for Brooklyn just so happens to be positioned directly on top of. Why not just put it in the actual center of the borough? What purpose does this serve? Who or what algorithm is responsible? I descended a rabbit hole.”

Seems to have worked out ok for them tho

Kim Beazely - former Deputy PM of Australia, Ambassador to the USA, and current Governor of WA - on the general operational capacity of the United States of America:

“I think it’s brilliant the US actually works.”

Fun podcast listen at Hemispheric Views.

One of those weeks where I was on FaceTime a lot

You guys need anything while I’m here?

The difference 80km and a Ukrainian/Russian border makes in what you see on TikTok.

Ned Kelly’s legacy in tatters.

I booked a two night stay at this motel hoping for stay based on Ned Kelly’s principles of stealing livestock, denouncing the British Empire, and shooting Victorian police.

Not comfortability and cleanliness.

1 star.

Just in: the new rankings for reading a book:

  1. Acquire the book and read it with your eyes.
  2. Acquire the book and intend to read it.
  3. Listen to a podcast with the author about the book.
  4. Acquire the book without intent to read.
  5. Listen to the audiobook.

we’re all looking for someting, not knowing exactly what it is. then one day you’re driving toward the sunset with your window down, and wind running through your hair, as you think, “this is it, this is everything." and all you had to do, is open the window and let it in.

  • jose chaves

I’ve got a hunch that this week will be the last one where Australia has a bloke named Scott Morrison as its Prime Minister. That election looms and the coalition wants someone else at the top.

And that makes the team at 6 News' interview with ScoMo even more important. Consider it an exit interview.

The view from Kirribilli last night

This week is one of those weeks where I’m reminded that I’m actually quite good at being a wedding celebrant and I really enjoy it despite a pandemic tearing out my soul. Just completed wedding 3 of 5 for the week and it’s only Wednesday.

It wet.

Pilot just explained that he and the other pilot were flying up from Melbourne for this flight and baggage loading staff were low at Melbourne because people in baggage were off work with Covid so the delays just multiplied from there.

2.5hrs late so far.

Layers

Now that vaccinated segregation is coming to an end in Queensland why should we give up on classism now?

I propose we start separating people based on race.

Like, I don’t want to eat at the same cafe as a really fast runner, or F1 driver.

Bedtime views

Feels good to be back in Sydney/the Blue Mountains today. Feels like I’m back in the office like the good ol’ days.

Life with a three year old and a one year old feels like a blur

FINANCIAL LOSSES CAUSED BY DIVORCE

Souht of ‘Talle sunday afternoons

Australia

Why the original iMac had a handle

Arrived home from work late tonight to a vomiting toddler. She managed to soil two compete bed settings, a bunch of Britt and my clothes, two pyjamas, and some fluffy animals.

In other news, laundromats have really upped their price.

Eight hospitality trends/opportunities that could emerge from Covid:

  • Towns for remote workers
  • Home swapping
  • City getaways and glamping
  • Coliving in lifestyle locations
  • Staycations
  • Neighbourhood coworkings
  • Campervans
  • Hosting company offsites

… Peter Fabor

2022: Mac Studio 2023: iPad Studio 2024: AirPods Sussudio 2025: iPhone Studio

Cows with a beef

Turns out I’m very much not ready to see photos of my kids growing up. Luna’s 3.5 and I’ve got happy tears looking at photos of her from 2 years ago.

Charlie Munger:

“Show me the incentive and I’ll show you the outcome.”

Steve Albini to Kurt, Dave and Chris, aka Nirvana:

“I like to leave room for accidents or chaos. Making a seamless record, where every note and syllable is in place and every bass drum is identical, is no trick. Any idiot with the patience and the budget to allow such foolishness can do it.”

VA531 SYD-OOL @virginaustralia Boeing 737 landing at @gcairport this afternoon.

Virgin aircraft offers me just the tip in my bathroom

One month ago, on the 28th of February we enjoyed 268mm of rain and our pool and lawn met for the first time.

Today’s brought 168mm so far, enough to bring the lawn and pool back together again.

That’s after I released about 4000L onto the lawn earlier today.

It wet.

Free business idea: software that monitors your email and to-do list and tells a stranger to call you when you get through all your emails and tasks - like, just doing your job - to let you know they’re proud of you.

Hearing about Chris Rock and his mate today reminded me to watch Bel Air, the modern remake of The Fresh Prince of Bel Air. It pushes The Batman way down the list in the gritty remake championships.

There was a really well known wedding photographer who was talking to Britt about shooting for The Elopement Collective, and on the phone to her (my wife) he told her that he hopes she fails in business along with some other rude things.

Not long after that phone call there was a dress up wedding industry Halloween party that I knew he would be going to, so I attended in the hopes of confronting him at the event, possibly even punching him.

The good news for all is that not only do I not really punch people, but on arrival to the event I realised how stupid it would be to publicly assault someone to defend my wife’s honour.

He is still a douche - always will be - and my wife is always worth protecting, defending, fighting for. But assaulting him isn’t the answer.

Instead we send him glitter in the mail every now and then. Plus when people want to hire him I tell them how mean and horrible he is and he doesn’t get the booking.

What Chris Rock said was horrible. What Will Smith did was worse.

The Polestar O₂ concept car that will never ship has a built-in drone and now I hate every other car

“Cinematic drone, standard. Polestar O₂ doesn’t just elevate the driving experience. It also allows you to record it. Housed in the rear is a cinematic drone that can lift off and land while the car is in motion. It operates autonomously, allowing the driver to select atmospheric or action-filled sequences. When the O₂ is parked, videos can be edited and shared directly from the centre display. Deploy the drone. Document the drive. And capture the fun of premium electric performance.”

The most unforgiving part of password parenting is needing to take your passwords to the gym so the other passwords don’t bully it for being weak.

That, plus the brutal murder you have to commit when someone else sees your offspring and you must change it.

Pop quiz: name a song about New York in the year 1776

Against Right Liberalism, Adrian Vermeule:

“The old right liberalism finds itself short on fresh ideas but very long on donors, dollars, second-tier publications, and institutional control.”

Please sign up for my OnlyDads. $9.99 a month for all of my best dad content.

Every ‘c’ in Pacific Ocean is pronounced differently

The shopping centre across the road was on fire, so our real estate office is now a temp daycare centre for the 70 kids from Busy Bees. Because I’m a father of two I know how to be responsible around children so I’m sneaking packet sugars to the children.

Goldie and the light leak at Tallebudgera

A tourist is driving on the wrong side of the road on the Gold Coast Highway. It’s so beautiful now that the international borders are open again, nature is healing.

A real estate colleague asked me yesterday how I marketed myself in weddings. I said, I just did really good work and then people enquired. Like this couple.

Breaks my heart to say no to international work at the moment, but it’s not sustainable whilst there are still border variables.

Marriage celebrants get all the cool stories.

100% Bruce Wayne was influenced by “Son, when you grow up, would you be, the saviour of the broken, the beaten and the damned?” in 2006 when My Chemical Romance dropped the The Black Parade and he was about 14 and decided to become the Batman we’re seeing in cinemas today.

In light of the Hillsong news getting around, I’ve been reading Beyond Belief: How Pentecostal Christianity Is Taking Over the World by Elle Hardy on Pentecostal faith:

“A powerful and globally connected religious movement, its resurgence in the twenty-first century also represents a crisis of spirituality in today’s world—one founded on consumption and individualism that replicates the social and political chaos of our time.”

Steve de Shazer:

“Problem talk creates problems. Solution talk creates solutions.”

In 2003 Pusha T wrote the McDonald’s “I’m Lovin’ It” jingle, and because he wasn’t properly compensated he’s now worked on a collab with Arby’s and it’s amazing

Good, good, the metaverse has a volunteer police department full of randos planting weed on people and arresting people using annoying avatars.

I’ve always wanted to be able to watch planes land from my toilet. Now that our bathroom renovation is finished, I can!

A few more hours of doing absolutely nothing for a week in Cairns until I go back to figuring out how to convince someone to sell their house with me, plus doing all the postponed weddings from Covid and the floods

Substack’s idealogy by Nathan Baschez in Every:

“The history of modern publishing (can be traced) back to the decision in 1833 of a guy named Benjamin Day to offer his newspaper, The New York Sun, for a sixth the price of his competition.

His strategy was to focus on sensational journalism to get broad reach, and make up for the losses in subscription revenue through advertising.

That model has dominated media to this day, except it’s now broken, because Facebook and Google and Craigslist took all the advertising revenue.

The answer is to build a new ecosystem where individual writers or small teams offer hyper-focused subscription products that add genuine value to readers' lives, rather than merely trying to trick them into clicking.

What a novel idea. News media that adds value instead of tricking people.

“We believe that journalistic content has intrinsic value and that it doesn’t have to be given away for free. We believe that what you read matters. And we believe that there has never been a better time to bolster and protect those ideals. Now, more than ever, publishers of news and similar content can be profitable through direct payments from readers. In fact, we are so convinced by this notion that we have started a company to accelerate the advent of what we are convinced will be a new golden age for publishing. The company is called Substack.”

Good news, the iOS Photos Look Up feature now works in Australia.

Bad news, it can’t see crocodiles.

At what point can I add photograoher for @DealStreetAsia on my LinkedIn?

For everyone that’s thought Apple iCloud email didn’t have server-side rules/forwarding, they apparently do now.

Great. Now I’m part of the “use a correct aircraft type” problem.

Qantas doesn’t fly Boeing 717s to New Zealand m8.

Haycock Island

Smile from a crocodile

Smile at a baby crocodile

A morning on the Daintree River with some baby, and not-so-baby crocodiles

Can confirm, the Canon EOS R5’s eye-autofocus for animals, does not work on baby crocodiles

That’s it, I’m done. I’m moving to Mars.

Apple event March 2023: We’ve put an M1 in the Polishing Cloth and it’s available for pre-order this Friday for $229.

From where you’d rather be, if where’d you rather be is a tropical paradise in the middle of a really rainy week

Home for the next few days // Clifton Beach, Qld

People who like to party on ice have moved to my neighbourhood

Hanging the boots up

Well there goes my plans on starting an airline based around coitus once we reach cruising altitude.

“The realization that life is absurd cannot be an end, but only a beginning.”

– Albert Camus

I uploaded 72GB of data for a project today and it only took a few hours.

I’m reflecting on that today as we berate the NBN, and government internet policy, the speed of computers, and how things are too slow, or too expensive.

The first MP3 I downloaded in 1997 went overnight.

My dad gifted my 1 year old a commemorative 50c coin for her birthday. I don’t know what this means. Is this a secret code, like when someone leaves a pineapple in your bedroom when you’re visiting?

Two years ago this week, we were all walking into the last normal week we’d see in a while. We were so innocent and unaware.

auDA is celebrating the 36th birthday of .au today, a few weeks away from the launch of .au direct.

One of my earliest memories of .au is how expensive Melbourne IT’s prices were compared to .com so my employer at the time decided a .au.com domain name was the better bet.

So many of you have been asking how much money I make. I make a Medium income.

I’ve been thinking a lot about the current disaster situation north and south of our home in flood devastated areas and how “the government” isn’t doing anything. I don’t think I want a government to do things. Governments have historically not achieved anything close to what regular people have.

I’d like you and I to do things, instead of putting our faith in a bureaucracy structured around a democratic election. The incentives are out of whack, and our want for “them” to do something doesn’t help the political process. It gives them easy wins by promising money but not delivering, and easy opportunities for a photo and a handshake whilst helping no-one.

I think it would be much more powerful for our communities to find their common unities, for those communities to band together with finances, services, love, care, hugs, cooking, whatever is needed. Not to wait for a old white guy in the capital city to help us, for us to help ourselves. Outsourcing care to those people gets us nowhere except for more taxes and less care with less help.

We’ve been outsourcing caring to government for too long. They don’t do it well.

We asked the government to look after our poor and we got Centrelink’s robodebt. We asked the government to look after our health and we got the last two years of whatever 2020-2021-2022 was. We asked the government to look after our financials and we got the GFC, current house prices, and ZIRP (zero interest rate policy). We asked the government to regulate the media and we got nightly news bulletins that somehow are the same length every night, and newspapers that hold power in government, not holding government to account. We asked the government to come and help in the floods and we got a PR and social media marketing campaign. We asked the government to lead and we got Scotty from marketing.

Let’s stop asking the government to do things, and ask ourselves to do things, ask each other to do things. It might be scary, but let’s be vulnerable, let’s ask for help. Let’s be real.

The government is good at building roads and collecting rubbish. The government isn’t good at care, love, or help.

James Greig in Stop making the Ukraine war about you:

“Social media isn’t necessarily the source of this tendency, but it has accelerated the impulse for people to be obsessed with their own subjectivity; unable to process global events outside of the prism of their own emotional reaction and the relatively minor ways they are affected.”

A solid amen to Arne Bahlo on his article: You’re using email wrong.

“If I look at my inbox, it’s a joy.”

I’m really good at sales

Just attended my eight court mediation hearing because of Covid cancelling someone’s wedding plans. If you ever want to feel sad come shout me a beer or eight and I’ll tell you the stories.

The Hustle via Kyle Westaway:

“Sixty percent of IKEA purchases are impulse buys. And IKEA’s own creative director has said that only 20% of the store’s purchases are based on actual logic and needs.

How does IKEA trick you into buying more stuff? (1) Store layout. Inside, customers are led through a preordained, one-way path that winds through 50-plus room settings. The average IKEA store is 300k sq. ft.—the equivalent of about five football fields—and their typical shopper ends up walking almost a mile. This forces wider product exposure, creates a false sense of scarcity and creates mystery. (2) Low prices. IKEA often follows a “price first, design later” philosophy: It starts with a price target—say $6.99 for a new stool—then reverse-engineers the design process to meet that goal. IKEA seems to adhere to a “survival of the fittest” pricing model: If a product’s price can’t be reduced over time, it tends to get discontinued. (3) The IKEA Effect. We have a cognitive bias wherein we place a higher value on items we build ourselves, regardless of the quality of the end result. (4) Cafeteria. A survey of 700 shoppers found that those who ate at the food court spent an average of more than two times more on home furnishings than those who didn’t.”

Evan Armstrong:

“There is perhaps no more colossal waste of human potential than Netflix. An algorithmic content feeding tube, designed by Silicon Valley engineers to deposit dopamine into our lizard brains at the exact point that we would churn, Netflix’s final form will be a pair of wires shoved directly into our eyeballs giving us personally crafted reality television. I love it.”

Every time I pick up an AFR lately and the front page headline isn’t “World is Fukt” I’m honestly surprised.

Lismore and the New South Wales Northern Rivers needs help.

Skilled labour, stood down unvaxxed workers re-employed and resourced, fresh water, perishables, probably a coffee break. Through Brisbane it’s the same.

Britt just dropped off a bunch of supplies to some friends in need, this is their house, there is so much work ahead for the whole community.

Could you imagine your house going under?

Please find real and generous ways to help.

Most advice is people’s own lost dreams disguised as good advice.

“I think it’s important to live in a nice country rather than a powerful one. Power makes everybody crazy.”

Kurt Vonnegut in a letter to his daughter, Nanette. 20th November 1971.

Kevin is listening through every album of every band he loves:

“Even the great treasure of music can seem dull at times. I’ve found that giving over real considered time to an artist’s work has taught me so much–about art, about creative decisions and really just about how we all get up in the morning and have to make that day happen in a way that it mattered.”

This Eater story of how a New York restaurant took the unpopular route of closing on Saturdays plus they increased profitability is the kind of business I want to create and run.

We often presume to understand restaurant economics because we know what a chicken breast costs at the supermarket. “I could make this dish at home for $5,” goes the refrain. Could we?

“Thinking is the hardest work there is, which is probably the reason so few engage in it.”

– Henry Ford

“He mooed we must fight, escape or we’ll die. Cows gathered around, cause the steaks were so high.”

Sunrise Surfers Paradise shoot this morning for a construction client

Our precious Goldie turns one today!

Luna’s taken it upon herself to put the front page of Spectrum from the weekend’s SMH on the fridge because she likes the bird.

Tugun got a bit wet today

#floodlyf

Why You’re Christian, by David Perell:

“If you believe in human rights but don’t believe in God, you need a logical explanation for why they’re self-evident.”

Todays a good day to announce that we’re extending the pool and colouring it the same colour as the lawn

Quiz

Friday 13 Mar 2020, and the ABC quotes an F1 fan in its report on the Melbourne F1 Grand Prix being cancelled:

“Are you going to close schools and supermarkets and everywhere else where people gather?”

Just one moment

Eric Karjaluoto on the fallacy of individual wins and benefiting from the one force that every great business success has leveraged: The Wave:

Henry Ford didn’t invent the automobile; he rode the assembly-line wave.

Mary Kay Ash didn’t invent cosmetics; she rode the direct-sales wave.

Andrew Carnegie didn’t invent steel; he rode the building wave.

Steve Jobs didn’t invent computers; he rode the digital wave.

Anita Roddick didn’t invent soap; she rode the ethical business wave.

Larry and Sergey didn’t invent search; they rode internet wave.

Chip Wilson didn’t invent stretchy-pants; he rode the yoga wave.

Jeff Bezos didn’t invent book sales; he rode the ecommerce wave.

Day four no bathroom.

Old Spice has been drafted for service.

Chuck Klosterman on the 90s:

“It feels as though the 1990s weren’t just the last decade of the 20th century but sort of the last decade, period — the last decade with a fully formed and recognizable culture of its own.”

David Ogilvy:

“The best ideas come as jokes. Make your thinking as funny as possible.”

“Wonderful things can happen when your brain is empty.”

– Maira Kalman

The Russian Military website is down with HTTP error code 418, which means it is a teapot #nottheonion

“The HTTP 418 I’m a teapot client error response code indicates that the server refuses to brew coffee because it is, permanently, a teapot. A combined coffee/tea pot that is temporarily out of coffee should instead return 503. This error is a reference to Hyper Text Coffee Pot Control Protocol defined in April Fools' jokes in 1998 and 2014.”

I do appreciate how impossibly hard Kanye West has made to listen to Donda 2. It’s like Schrödinger’s album.

What ever happened to the Golden Arches Theory of Conflict Prevention?

Crime in Tugun: Cromulent. A new issue of The Tugun Pause is in inboxes.

“Whatever you are, be a good one.”

– Abraham Lincoln

Day three without a shower and bathroom and I’m considering starting using Lynx Africa.

I impulse purchased a Stem Player a while back because I convinced myself I needed something this weird in my life. Now I’m probably one of like ten people in Australia who will be able to listen to Kanye West’s new album. What a time to be alive.

Most of you wouldn’t know about the disappointment I carry that my first personal computer was a 486SX and not a 386DX. All my friends had 386s and my dad rented a Packard Bell with a 486SX.

Our bathroom, a photo series.

Sometime around the turn of the century (before we owned it) vs. 7am today vs. 11am today.

It’S TWOSDAY! Tuesday 22/2/22.

Guy in a Palm Beach cafe this morning:

“Anything north of Mermaid Beach is Logan, love”

In my humble opinion, one of the most under-appreciated literary works of the past 25 years are Chuck Lore’s vanity cards

One day boomers are going to learn about Option + Shift + Command V and then us Millennials are going to be really screwed.

Dear Vanessa Carlton,

Despite your willingness to walk a thousand miles to see me, I regret to inform you that you cannot fall into the sky.

“Show me the incentive and I will show you the outcome”

– Charlie Munger

If NCIS: Sydney can get off the ground

Blue Heelers: New York. Surry Hills, 2010. ER: Covid Ward. Buffy the Prime Minister Slayer. Law & Order: W.A. Unit. JAG: Garden Island. Grey’s Anatomy: Brisbane-Team. 3rd Rock From The Border. Everybody Loves Dan Andrews. The Ibrahim’s. It’s Always Sunny in Adelaide. Orange Is The New Black (a travel program about going to Orange, NSW).

And I just want to point out without bringing too much attention to myself, that Sweden, Poland, Israel, Germany, India, France, Chile, the Czech Republic, Canada, Finland, and the god damned United States of America have had their own versions of The Office.

The Office (Australian TV series).

Successful Man 2022 BC: Killed animal for family to eat.

Successful Man 2022 AD: I’ve emptied three of my four email inboxes and there’s only seven emails left in that one so they can wait til tomorrow because it’s almost 11pm.

Good and new music alert: Ben Abraham - If I Didn’t Love You

Smiling for photos is largely the result of marketing campaigns

From this week’s Dense Discovery email:

When looking at older portraits (first painted, then photographed) you would notice that very few subjects smile. As this piece explains, up to the beginning of the 20th century, “a grin was only characteristic of peasants, drunkards, children, and halfwits”. In the first half of the 21st century, camera company Kodak tried to make the experience of having your photo taken less awkward and more fun, and thus created a marketing campaign to emphasise the pleasure of photography. The photographic smile became a byproduct of an increasingly sophisticated advertising culture focused on telling cheerful stories about products.

René Girard in Wanting:

“Humans don’t desire anything independently. Human desire is mimetic – we imitate what other people want. This affects the way we choose partners, friends, careers, clothes, and vacation destinations. Mimetic desire is responsible for the formation of our very identities. It explains the enduring relevancy of Shakespeare’s plays, why Peter Thiel decided to be the first investor in Facebook, and why our world is growing more divided as it becomes more connected.”

A wild Filet-O-Fish spotted near Hinze Dam on the Gold Coast

Hey, feel free to join me, imma storm Meta HQ.

I’m taking a convoy to Menlo Park to demand that the Business Suite app work better.

If you didn’t watch the 2010 banger of a film, Valentine’s Day, tonight, you’re actually not in love. Trust me, I’m a celebrant, I’d know.

SMH reports that we are on the way to the darkest timeline:

“Premier Dominic Perrottet said the information was uploaded in error and the bungle, which has alarmed privacy advocates and women’s safety advocates, shouldn’t have happened.”

Ya think, Dom?

Business idea: a screening of the Super Bowl for people like me who like to stay culturally relevant but don’t care about the football - and also have jobs. Just a little catch-up video. Help a brother out?

The sunset over Tugun tonight was all levels of madness.

Advice to a friend travelling Europe with a baby

A text message I thought was worth sharing as a blog post:

First stop, I reckon you need to get into a camera. Look at a Fuji X100 or a Sony RX100 as a start.

Secondly, have you figured out your travel kit? For a trip like this, with a kid, I’d urge you to not take a laptop, maybe an iPad, and to work out a charging solution like an Anker multi-port USB/USB-C charger with an international plug on it.

Thirdly, have you chosen a travel cot and travel pram? The BabyZen YoYo travel pram is a cool glass of water in hell. You’ll give me a sainthood for making you buy one. Choosing a travel cot is tricky, we have the Phil & Ted’s which packs smaller, but the BabyBjorn and the new Bugaboo travel cots are still small but much quicker setup. Choose your poison.

Basically, there’ll be lots of dragging this stuff around, particularly in Venice where you have to carry everything, so take as little as possible.

Have you phoned Qantas to request a bassinet seat?

Here’s my city tips:

  • London: get into the palace and take out Prince Andrew.

  • Oxford: get an education.

  • Paris: have as many Nutella crepes as you can physically stomach and do the Big Red Bus tours, buy your wife nice things in the nice shops so that when you’re home and you have forty kids you can look at that nice sweater and remember that time you travelled the world.

  • Berlin: do a walking tour or two, the real Berlin is seen from street level, learn about the pedestrian crossing lights, look for bullet holes in the side of buildings, be surprised at the location where Hitler died, walk into every cool shop just because it’s cool, visit Computerspiele Museum - the computer game museum - it’s a lot of fun, stand in awe at the monuments, memorials, and existing parts of the wall. It’ll move you.

  • Unless of course you mean Bern in Switzerland in which case I have no idea. Same for Lauterbrunnen. I did not know these places existed until I googled them wondering if you didn’t mean Berlin.

  • Venice, I hear it’s lovely, but get up to Santa Monica while you’re there. Seriously though, I don’t know. Apparently you need to walk everywhere in the Italian version so pack light.

  • Florence: Get out into the regions, like San Gimignano, Siena, or Chianti or so many others, just get in a car and go. Italy’s regional areas are the opposite of Australia’s regional areas, which is to say, they’re really good. The main surprise is that they eat late and they don’t understand the concept of takeaway food, which is great if you’ve got a crying baby. That said, feel free to pass her off to a nonna for a hug, this also applies to bub.

  • Rome: There’s a small handful of landmarks you’ll probably recognise when you Google the town name, but my tip is to never eat in a palazzo. They’re full of tourists and bad food. There’s so many great restaurants there, but you have go to Trattoria Der Pallaro purely for the experience. Visit the Via del Corso Apple Store because its beautiful.

Every day I wonder why when I was a young boy my father never took me into the city to see a marching band. Just something else for me please thank romanticise over as I take these chemicals.

It seems like the path to podcasting success isn’t to create good new content, but to have old good content

Sliding into the weekend from Burleigh

Some people donate to good causes, my personal contribution to world peace is wasting time for scam callers. Rosie here just spent 30 minutes trying to get me to install the Anydesk app so they could help me with my NBN.

Isaac Asimov:

“It is important to remember that the viciousness and wrongs of life stick out very plainly but that even at the worst times there is a great deal of goodness, kindness, and day-to-day decency that goes unnoticed and makes no headlines.”

What ever you do, do not google goats eyes.

“He who jumps into the void owes no explanation to those who stand and watch.”

– Jean-Luc Godard

Elle Hardy talking her new book and the global Pentecostal movement with James Hennessy in The Terminal

“Pentecostals are basically eating everyone’s lunch”

Alex Ross with Reasons to Abandon Spotify That Have Nothing to Do with Joe Rogan:

“I don’t know how to explain to them that it has never been ethical or sustainable to expect to have unfettered access to the entire history of recorded music for $10/month.”

The only thing more terrifying than a Black Hawk rocking up on you in the middle of a battle with a load of bad ass soldiers, would be a ghost Black Hawk, just looking at you, ready to charge.

I’d bet $10 that the image was created on a Mac and saved without a .jpg extension. Can’t wait for the link that proves this and the headline is about how a Mac broke a Mazda over the air.

Ars Technia: Radio station snafu in Seattle bricks some Mazda infotainment systems.

“The problem, according to Mazda, was that the radio station sent out image files in its HD radio stream that did not have extensions”

If you say “website dot com” when it’s a .com.au, you’re a boomer.

Why?!

Kaitlyn Tiffany in The Atlantic, “When Multilevel Marketing Met Gen Z”:

“She has more time and wealth than she knows what to do with—and so now she will pause to bathe an elephant. Wait a minute, you say to yourself. Could this be my life too?”

When I moved to Tugun four years ago we paid half what is now marketed as “Tugun’s most affordable home” … what a time to be alive.

Georgia O’Keeffe //

“I said to myself, ‘I have things in my head that are not like what anyone has taught me…shapes and ideas so near to me…so natural to my way of being and thinking that it hasn’t occurred to me to put them down.’ I decided to start anew, to strip away what I had been taught.”

Before he became CEO of the Trump campaign Steve Bannon made his living selling virtual gold on the Internet … Bannon managed to convince Goldman Sachs to plow $60 million into imaginary goods in an imaginary world.

I think about this a lot

James Clear:

“When considering a new project or opportunity, one of the first questions to ask is, “How do I want to spend my days?”

C. S. Lewis in a letter to a young fan:

Don’t use adjectives which merely tell us how you want us to feel about the thing you are describing. I mean, instead of telling us a thing was “terrible,” describe it so that we’ll be terrified. Don’t say it was “delightful”; make us say “delightful” when we’ve read the description. You see, all those words (horrifying, wonderful, hideous, exquisite) are only like saying to your readers, “Please will you do my job for me.”

Via Letters of Note

How Telegram Became the Anti-Facebook, Darren Loucaides:

“As I sat with him, I thought back to the conversation Zuckerberg and Durov allegedly had more than a decade ago. Both saw their nascent social networks as transcendent structures that would free communications from control by the state: governments and regulators reduced to the level of nuisances, rendered obsolete before the liberating force of a platform. Thinking this under a waning winter sun as my conversation with Telegram’s VP concluded, I felt a chill.”

How much are they paying for this myGov thing again? I got the notification email overnight, I’ve been anxious about it all day, finally got the guts to log in and find out what was wrong, and I owe them $0. Can I sue the ATO & myGov for anxiety inducement?

The Final Comeback of Axl Rose, by John Jeremiah Sullivan in 2006, referenced in the Rubesletter by Matt Ruby, today:

Axl has said, “I sing in five or six different voices that are all part of me. It’s not contrived.” I agree. One of them is an unexpectedly competent baritone. The most important of the voices, though, is Devil Woman. Devil Woman comes from a deeper part of Axl than do any of the other voices. Often she will not enter until nearer the end of a song. In fact, the dramatic conflict between Devil Woman and her sweet, melodic yang—the Axl who sings such lines as Her hair reminds me of a warm, safe place and If you want to love me, then darling, don’t refrain and Sometimes I get so tense—is precisely what resulted in Guns N' Roses' greatest songs…

And what does she say, this Devil Woman? What does she always say, for that matter? Have you ever thought about it? I hadn’t. “Sweet Child,” “Paradise City,” “November Rain,” “Patience,” they all come down to codas—Axl was a poet of the dark, unresolved coda—and to what do these codas themselves come down? Everybody needs somebody. Don’t you think that you need someone? I need you. Oh, I need you. Where do we go? Where do we go now? Where do we go? I wanna go. Oh, won’t you please take me home?

Sitting next to a couple on a first date (over lunch at a kebab shop) and the poor girl is really trying to make this work. After about 30 seconds of silence she asks “so do you read books?”

He’s hesitant with an answer.

This is gruelling!!

Miles Davis:

“If you hit a wrong note, it’s the next note that you play that determines if it’s good or bad.”

One day I’m going to open a restaurant called Alice’s Restaurant so that the three other Arlo Guthrie fans have somewhere to come and take photos for Instagram.

English writer and poet, D.H. Lawrence (1885–1930):

“The world fears a new experience more than anything. Because a new experience displaces so many old experiences.”

If there was a 24/7 streaming channel of just Rhys Darby talking about things in his funny manner, you could just pump that directly into my brain.

Finally made it to Buzzfeed

Every cricket season I think about the couple I met with who didn’t book me because I didn’t know who the groom was.

I asked what he “did”, he said “play cricket”, to which I replied, no I mean like a career or a job.

He replied “I play cricket.”

Still don’t know who he was.

Also currently reading: On Reckoning by Amy Remeikis 📚

Currently reading: Things Hidden by Richard Rohr 📚

Chemical emitted by babies could make men more docile, women more aggressive:

The study provides “pretty convincing evidence that HEX can modulate aggression in humans in a sex-specific way,” says Dayu Lin

Yossi Ghinsberg is speaking to my Harcourts team today, this early statement about him reading books during school classes ignoring the teacher captured me all afternoon:

“No matter what you do, make a story out of it”

Then this one on dreaming:

“Nothing exists if you don’t imagine it first”

Readers and viewers aren’t dumb, via The Why Axis email.

I’ll probably do your wedding for free if you walk down the aisle to Goldfinger’s cover of 99 Red Balloons.

Thinking about Citipointe Christian College in Brisbane this afternoon …

“Bless those who persecute you. Don’t curse them; pray that God will bless them. Be happy with those who are happy, and weep with those who weep. Live in harmony with each other. Don’t be too proud to enjoy the company of ordinary people.

And don’t think you know it all!

‭‭An excerpt from Romans‬ , chapter 12:14-16‬ from the New Living Translation.

Has Spotify had a deep clean yet? I’m staying out until everything on Spotify is 100% sanitised.

“You can do it like it’s a great weight, or you can do it like it’s part of the dance.”

– Ram Dass

The year is 2034 and your 12 y/o is getting ready for school. She starts the day with classes on empathy and then human connection. After lunch she has class on using social media to diagnose mental health concerns, and finishes with a class on post-algorithmic living.

Any other old school nerds ever just feel like re-visiting astalavista dot box dot sk?

Are you even from Brisbane if you don’t come to the Gold Coast on a long weekend and arrogantly proclaim to your partner that (insert beach suburb name) has really come into it’s own.

Notice how we keep on hearing from people who claim to be silenced?

Jen Ortiz, The Cut on weed’s last taboo, pregnancy:

Those bong rips did the trick: “I fucking thrived after I felt better. I had the best pregnancy — like, glowing.”

Whites Beach, New South Wales

Gm Byron Bay 👋💪

Wategos Beach for sunrise this morning

“When rain falls, it flows downhill. If desired, you can collect the rain in a bucket and carry it uphill, but the natural tendency of water is to flow toward the lowest point.

Most situations in life have a tendency—a direction in which things want to flow. You can choose to go against the flow (just as you can choose to carry water uphill), but your results tend to be better when you find a way to work with the gradient of the situation.

Position yourself to benefit from the external forces at hand and you will get more from the same unit of effort. Energy is conserved and results are multiplied.”

— James Clear

Name a banger more bangish than Orgy’s Blue Monday. I’ll wait.

What which craft is this? Surfing without waves!? #witchcraft #byronbay #wategosbeach #surfing

If you’re interested in joining my new rectangle scheme we just give each other the same amount of money for doing nothing. Plus we get name badges.

You know how we’d all hate a guy who annually celebrated the anniversary of that time he raped someone. Now think about January 26.

Why Agatha Christie could afford a maid and a nanny but not a car, Timothy B Lee:

“It’s one of the most important economic mysteries of the modern world. While the material things in life are cheaper than ever, labor-intensive services are getting more and more expensive. Middle-class Americans today have little trouble affording a car, but they struggle to afford a spot in day care.”

A story of hope, that the old internet might be coming back, the old internet was when the internet was a wonderland. Not a computer generated echo chamber.

Brian Koppelman:

“To an artist, rejection, at first, feels like death. That’s how personal the work is. And that’s why we’re afraid to do the work. Because then we have to show it. And then they might reject it. But rejection is only a death if you let it stop you from doing the work the next day.”

"If you can live your life without an audience, you should do it"

I don’t like a lot of what I see on Instagram Stories.

Nick Catucci says the same in Embedded this week:

“Instagram Stories had been an IV drip of validation for the past five years, and giving myself permission to live my life not as a constant performance, but for myself, has been liberating. It also means I’m not viewing other peoples’ performances, either, which has brought another unexpected benefit: I’m a better friend.”

It really bothers me that Logan City Council uses Lobster font for its entry to the region motorway signage.

What lays beneath … // Cook Island, off Fingal Head

Fingal Head this afternoon.

Was nice to visit and not have to convince a police to let me go home afterward.

A million dollar sunset over #Tugun tonight

A relationship is about inventing your own language, says Céline Sciamma:

“You’ve got the jokes, you’ve got the songs, you have this anecdote that’s going to make you laugh three years later. It’s this language that you build. That’s what you mourn for when you’re losing someone you love. This language you’re not going to speak with anybody else.”

Is a LIDAR capture of a person a photograph? Wired asks what is a photograph.

This is nuts:

“CoreLogic’s Quarterly Auction Market Review shows 42,918 properties were taken to auction across the combined capital cities in the three months to Dec 2021, an 85.1% increase from the previous quarter and more than double (109.5%) the Dec 2020 figures.”

Why would you make new music when all the growth in the industry is from old music

At a wedding recently I heard my mate Hutcho belt out an old school banger with more energy and passion than the original artist could of. I jokingly asked afterward, “why do people make new music?” There is so much good music, how do you even get the guts to release a new song and meekly tell the world that you’ve made new music despite there being so much good music.

Then once you actually make new music, you’re hoping that the algorithmically-driven music industry today accepts your offering and feeds it to the masses, so much so that you can put food on the table.

Then I read about the actual state of the music industry. Ted Gioia writes a few days ago:

“All the growth in the market is coming from old songs. The 200 most popular tracks now account for less than 5% of total streams.”

And if you enjoy reading about the death, and rebirth, of pop, you should read Adam Singer as well..

I just want to get out ahead of any rumours being spread by our almost 11 month old and go on the record saying that we do feed her enough food, and some would say too much food. She’s well fed, don’t believe what she tells you.

I have issue with Apple’s Texas Hold’em game. Do they not have a graphic designer on staff? Could they not just get a photo of a bunch of Macs on a shelf in a garage from @ismh?

Sea breeze

Make taxi ranks car parks again. Return the taxi tanks to the people.

If only he’d been like a bat out of Wuhan, still here when the morning comes, when Christmas comes, when the wedding comes, the funeral comes, still here, a few years on.

“Like a bat out of hell I’ll be gone when the morning comes”

If you’ve ever worried about robots rising up and taking over, have no fear, they’re a long way off.

I’ve used brooms smarter than our Roomba i7.

Toowoomba’s, Gabbinbar Homestead, on a Thursday afternoon

A Jewish scholar I once heard speak talked about how his people viewed life and death not as one season followed by another, life and then death, but that throughout your day they were states you would enter. That your decisions and thoughts and actions would take into life or death.

That for a people so obsessed with life after death and whether we could get into heaven - or if there was one at all - we could be focused on bringing heaven to earth today through our words, thoughts, and actions.

The one truth everyone that has ever existed can testify to is that you cannot stop people dying, but you can stop them living.

Who do I have to talk to about making the next Mission: Impossible movie about stolen NFTs.

Mission: Impossible - Right Click.

She turns around to tell me to make sure I take a photo of her on the scooter, “take photo of me!” My firstborn, @lunawithers.

January 2022 in the Associated Press:

“A bill … that would prohibit public schools and private businesses from making white people feel “discomfort””

That face when dad makes you leave the beach

South of Talle’ on a Tuesday afternoon

I’m not antistacks, I’m just saying, when you’re on the bottom of a stacks-on it sucks. It’s all well and good if you’re on the top of the stack, but the rest of us have a large weight on our shoulders, torso, legs, etc.

I’ve upgraded my MacBook this week to a new MacBook Pro, and a friend asked me how it was.

I said it’s unnoticeable, like a good marriage celebrant, or a good real estate agent should be. That good that you don’t notice.

When your computer is slow you notice, and you moan about it. When your celebrant isn’t confident and delivering a great ceremony, you notice it and joke about it at the reception, and when your real estate agent is a dodgy one, you really notice, and tell all your mates.

My hope is that I’m that good that you don’t notice. That I’d be like my new MacBook, so fast, efficient, and plain old good, that you don’t notice how good until you think about all the other computers you’ve used and you realise you’ve got a real powerhouse of a computer in front of you.

@jkleske:

“A signal is not a trend. A trend is not a future. A future is not THE future.”

The Algorithmic Trap by David Perrell:

“If you want to find emerging and under-rated ideas, stop using algorithms … and improve the quality of what you consume.”

Luna got a camera for Christmas from Uncle Harley & Ainsley, so tonight she wanted to go and make photos of planes taking off.

You couldn’t understand how proud I am of her. Her little brain astounds me and impresses me every day!

In 2022 I want to be a lot more deliberate about my inputs. Garbage in, garbage out. I’m continuing to craft my newsletters and subscriptions, detailed on my inputs page. Plus I’m now documenting books I want to read, books I am reading, and books I have read.

Small atomic changes should put make sure I’m walking down the right track.

I’m not anti-tax, I’m just saying that we don’t know the long term effects of giving these politicians half our cash. How do we know they’re not going to make stupid decisions with it?

Breaking news: Novak Djokovic wins the Australia Closed grand door slammed tournament.

When Britt and I were dating we lived in different cities the whole time as I travelled for radio work (Port Macquarie, Mackay, Cairns, Sydney, Brisbane) so we spent heaps of time at night on the phone.

We’d go outside and ask each other if we could see the moon.

Ten years on we have a daughter named Luna.

And we named her sister Goldie so we could have our sun and our moon.

Finished reading: Volcanic Winter by Mark Rutherford 📚

Currently reading: Fortune-teller Told Me: Earthbound Travels In The Far East by Tiziano Terzani 📚

“Your goals are meant to honour you, not fix you”

“As soon as you decide to do without planes, you realise how they impose their limited way of looking at things on you. Oh, they diminish distances, which is handy enough, but they end up diminishing everything including your understanding of the world. You leave Rome at sunset, have dinner, sleep a while, and at dawn you are in India. But in reality each country has its own special character. We need time if we are to prepare ourselves for the encounter; we must make an effort if we are to enjoy the conquest. Everything has become so easy that we no longer take pleasure in anything. To understand is a joy but only if it comes with effort, and nowhere is this more than in the experience of other countries. Reading a guidebook while hopping from one airport to another is not the same as the slow, laborious absorption- as if by osmosis- of the humours of the earth to which ones remains bound when travelling by train.

Reached by plane, all places become alike- destinations separated from one another by nothing more than a few hours flight. Frontiers, created by nature and history and roots in the consciousness of the people who live within them, lose their meaning & cease to exist for those who travel to and from the air-conditioned bubbles of airports, where the border is a policeman in front of a computer screen where the first encounter with the new place is baggage carousel, where the emotion of leave taking is dissipated in the rush to get to the duty free shop- now the same everywhere”

— A Fortune Teller Told Me by Tiziano Terzani

Proposal: Let’s drop the metaverse, and go all in on the meatverse. Less virtual reality meetings, more steak.

Dear Me,

If, in future years, anyone asks you to give advice to your sixteen year old self… don’t.

Make your own unique messes, and then work your own way out of them.

See you,

Alan Rickman

Molly White: blockchains are decentralised but not really, immutable but not really.

Cows can be in the metaverse.

This is disturbing.

I missed this New York Times piece on my hometown, Mackay in North Queensland, about how the mayor is almost single-handedly trying to turn the community around on climate change.

“Over the past year, Mr. Williamson, a fifth-generation Mackay local, has tried more outreach and education, meeting frequently with residents to discuss why the trees are needed, and whether a lighter mix of vegetation might be allowed for partial ocean views.”

If Mackay was going to be in the New York Times I always thought it would be because they ship about 100 million tonnes of coal out of the region every year.

Things we were very worried about in our youth that turned out to be non-issues:

  • using algebra
  • the Bermuda Triangle
  • snakes on planes
  • quicksand
  • monsters under our bed
  • remembering phone numbers
  • what’s in Area 51
  • becoming prime minister

2021, the year in typography, if you’re into that kinda nerdy thing like I am.

Om Malik on the lethal and constant feeling of self-importance we walk around with:

“With all the conversation of breaking free from big social platforms, owning your own digital identity, and being independent, I have been asking myself: how can all of us who have slowly become online performance artists ever be post-social?”

Since March 2020 I’ve thought a lot about what it means for us to think we’re so self-important and what that means for us living in a community with a virus like the spicy cough.

I’m sure it’s not only me, but the moment a sense of self-importance enters my soul I start feeling sick. This photo of a chicken with a mullet often helps me get over myself.

“I used to think the top global environmental problems were biodiversity loss, ecosystem collapse and climate change. I thought with 30 years of good science we could address those problems, but I was wrong. The top environmental problems are selfishness, greed and apathy – and to deal with these we need a spiritual and cultural transformation and we scientists don’t know how to do that.”

– Gus Speth

My mate @scotty_mcdonald knows Brisbane better than you, and he’s writing an email about it called Brisbane is Weird and you ought to subscribe.

West Philadelphia born and raised, and now rebooted, much more dramatically

Morgan Cooper made a fan-trailer of a dramatic reboot of The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air in 2019:

Will Smith saw that video and now there’s a real trailer and a real show!

That’s one of the best things about this new world without as many gatekeepers, and falttened lines of communciation and promotion. You can just have an idea, run with it, and see where it lands.

Reflecting on the original show, there’s obviously a darker storyline underneath the lighthearted primetime television show, but the 90s were never ready for that.

Will Smith talks about that idea in this video about the new reboot:

Where’d I get this rainbow fudge? The Country Non-Binary’s Association stall at the markets this morning.

A weird celebration: we won our first Covid court case

Today, on the 683rd day of March 2020, we won our first Covid wedding cancellation court case, a court hearing I attended from the carpark of a service station in Maryborough which had erected a statue of Ned Kelly in front of it. A weird culmination.

The first six were frustrated contracts which meant the contract was basically torn up and the judge had to make a decision as if they were a “man on the Clapham omnibus” which is pretty much the common law definition of the pub test.

Today, our contract stood up and was not frustrated, and the couple had cancelled the contract.

So the real winner in this pandemic is my original lawyer, who I fired after his legal advice when people started cancelling was for us to just refund everyone, something we couldn’t afford to do.

Wedding vendors are not wedding insurance, but for the past 683 days we’ve been treated like it.

The gestation period for new MacBooks is past the two month mark #joy

15 years of iPhone

Currently reading: Atomic Habits by James Clear 📚

Your Animals With Attitude artists were so preoccupied with whether they could make a Super Mario Koala, they didn’t stop to think if they should make a Super Mario Koala.

Why don’t they make phone screens out of the same glass they make fridge shelves out of?

I’m just saying, if you can’t trust people who spend billions of dollars to get fit good looking people to run around aggressively in arbitrary rectangular boxes, who can you trust?

Isn’t it wild to imagine that if everyone on the whole planet just stayed at home until February there’d be no Covid.

No deliveries, no takeaway, no construction or maintenance, and in Feb it’s 2019 again.

The government response to Covid this month seems akin to trying to stop a large boulder running out of control down a mountain.

I, for one, welcome our new geological overlord.

‘The most powerful person in the world is the storyteller.’

— Steve Jobs

W.L. George in The New York Herald in May 1992 didn’t think that “the little girl who sells candles at Grand Central Station” would be too impressed with 2022:

“The year 2022 would have to produce something very startling to interest her ghost”

I really thought that by this age I would’ve found Carmen Sandiego. Life is just a series of disappointments.

I remember my friend Clifford showing me these photos and us waiting for them to render. Seeing a girl’s naked shoulders was a big deal back then.

Heresy from @jayeless:

“Cricket and ten-pin bowling ultimately derive from the same sport. It makes sense if you think of the wicket in cricket as analogous to the pins in bowling.”

Olivia Laing in 2015 on the future of loneliness:

“the cure for loneliness is not being looked at, but being seen and accepted as a whole person”

The most disappointing element of modern society is the insistence that all stories (including the news, and celebrity or sport stories) must be completed as soon as possible so we can establish tribal battle lines and figure out if our tribe is winning or losing.

Most stories require hours, if not weeks, or years to bake in the story oven.

It’s highly likely that the stories you’re reading or hearing are actually half-baked and require a lot more time in the oven.

Reject half-baked stories. Reject the need for every story to have a tweet or post attached to it. Embrace slow stories where the storyteller has spent time researching, listening, asking, and they’re delivering a well baked story.

Not some bullshit your mate or a politician tweeted.

In 1931 ceilings in movies was impressive.

The 10 best films of 1931

A group of enterprising and nostalgic nerds want to take Blockbuster back.

“Our mission is to liberate Blockbuster and form a DAO to collectively govern the brand as we turn Blockbuster into the first-ever DeFilm streaming platform.”

There are only 25 blimps in the world, but this guy is trying to bring them back. Can you imagine standing in front of a venture capitalist telling them that you’re taking blimps back.

The Australian people for the last 30 years: “We want - and will vote for - smaller and governments, with lower taxes, which means less tax revenue, so less money to spend.”

The Australian people in 2020, 2021, 2022: “Arghhh, our government is so small and useless!”

The UX on this Small Child Is Terrible, McSweeney’s:

“It’s as if this Small Child was not designed with accessibility in mind”

Week one of writing an email about life on the southern Gold Coast is that poor that @revue isn’t sure how to communicate it to me.

“Yeah, no-one really cares, kid.”

I don’t understand magazine publishing in 2022. Today, January 4, a few minutes ago, someone published a pdf to Apple News and it’s about Macs released on November 10 with a release date of next month.

One more Tokyo memory. No man has ever made me as happy as this man, as he handed me the nicest coffee my body has ever experienced. Japan is missing from me.

Whenever Brittany talks about having more kids, I start thinking about buying us a children buggy like this mum in Tokyo I saw in 2019.

I think about this bloke I saw out the front of a Tokyo train station in November 2019 reading a book with a magnifying glass quite a lot.

Nick Cave on Kanye:

Making art is a form of madness – we slip deep within our own singular vision and become lost to it. There is no musician on Earth that is as committed to their own derangement as Kanye, and in this respect, at this point in time, he is our greatest artist.

The trick with life is you have to actually mean it, which can be the hardest part.

I’ve got an old friend and we share ideas with each other. Then years later we share a news article about how someone “stole” our idea.

James Clear’s distinction between our sharing ideas and working on them, stings:

“If you’re not working hard, ideas don’t matter. The best idea is worthless without execution. If you’re already working hard, ideas are crucial. Most effort is wasted on mediocre ideas.”

In Praise of Conspiracy Theories, David Perell:

It’s easy to hate on conspiracy theories, but what are the best arguments for taking them seriously?

Here’s one: At a recent dinner, we started talking about John F. Kennedy assassination theories. One guy remarked that historical conspiracy theories are worth studying because they illuminate so much about the culture of the time.

Studying the JFK conspiracy theories is a fun way to learn about the tension between Cuba and America, America’s rivalry with the KGB, the won’t-stop-at-anything political motivations of Lyndon B. Johnson, the mafia’s influence, and the power of America’s Central Intelligence Agency.

Peter O’Dowd and Kalyani Saxena:

“When you were a kid, it seemed like you could walk up to just about anybody and be best friends the next minute. But somewhere along the long, winding road to adulthood, making new friends became an impossibly hard thing to do.”

Understand the rules so you can break them

One of the wisest things I was ever taught about radio broadcasting … and life … was that you needed learn the rules so you understood them so you could break them.

Learning that rules were so you could understand not so you could be be limited, broke my mind and made me, me.

I feel like Seth Godin was on a similar vibe in this post:

One sort of job requires people to follow a recipe. Another, better sort of job requires people to understand the recipe. If you understand it, that means you can change it. You have resilience and insight and the leverage to make it better.

Storytime with Seth Rogen is a new fav podcast and it’s going on my inputs page. The most recent episode, The Ballad of Mount Doogie Dowler, is a grizzly bear epic!

Drafting up an email for my #southoftalle email list right now with all my photos from today where Ex-Tropical Cyclone Seth was hitting the Gold Coast beaches pretty hard. Into that kinda thing? email.southoftalle.com to subscribe for free.

Gold Coast afternoon

Ex-Tropical Cyclone Seth brings some surf to Snapper

Ex-Tropical Cyclone Seth is bringing some wind to the waves at Tugun and Snapper Rocks today.

Expect streaming TV consolidation in the coming years

Matthew Belloni in Puck

A good model is Peacock-WWE. Last March, NBC Universal took over the pro wrestling outfit’s WWE Network and its 1.1. million subs, offering them a deal on Peacock for their Roman Reigns fix. Check out these internal Peacock stats that came to me from a source:

  • Of the 1.1 million subscribers to WWE Network, one million successfully converted to Peacock subscribers.
  • More than 3 million Peacock subs have watched WWE content since it moved over in March.
  • More than half of those 3 million subs indicated that they signed up “because of WWE.”

Rights and branding issues are thorny, but consolidation makes sense, even if it’s not a major merger like Comcast or Netflix or Roku picking off Lionsgate/Starz, or some of the other buzzed-about potential deals.

I wonder what Australian consolidation we could see?

There’s no way that Youtube, Amazon, Netflix, Disney, or Apple will cede their position or brand, and maybe they could suck some streaming providers in. Viacom CBS seems set on playing the long game so they could be in the same lineup as the big five.

That leaves SBS, ABC, Seven, Nine, Telstra, Stan, Kayo, Binge, Foxtel, Hayu, Optus Sport in the Australian market wanting credentials or money, and HBO Max, Hulu, Peacock, Fubo/ESPN not in the market … yet?

Who’s left in 2025? Is there room for 20 subscriptions? Potentially $200 a month on TV.

I noticed a Jetstar Boeing 787-8 coming into Gold Coast Airport in some pretty strong winds and broke the camera out quickly.

Happy 120th birthday to the Federal Government, its birth of course being an issue for the states.

Joan Didion on being in the world:

“I’m not telling you to make the world better, because I don’t think that progress is necessarily part of the package. I’m just telling you to live in it. Not just to endure it, not just to suffer it, not just to pass through it, but to live in it. To look at it. To try to get the picture. To live recklessly. To take chances. To make your own work and take pride in it. To seize the moment. And if you ask me why you should bother to do that, I could tell you that the grave’s a fine and private place, but none I think do there embrace. Nor do they sing there, or write, or argue, or see the tidal bore on the Amazon, or touch their children. And that’s what there is to do and get it while you can and good luck at it.”

I never thought I’d be in such a winning position, but if anyone is trying to buy a rat, the ones under my house are of good breeding and honestly I’m happy for you to take as many as you can hold.

Sliding doors.

Daily Mail, 5 December 2000:

“The internet may be only a passing fad for many users, according to a report.”

In 2016 Leonardo DiCaprio finally won an Academy Award. Many scholars believe this upset the gods and brought torment on our people and the only worthy sacrifice would be Betty White. May her sacrifice lead to peace in our land.

Some personal news, I’m changing the definition of fun to things that take less than four hours to do.

James Cameron walks into the boardroom and “wrote the word Alien on a board. Then he pluralized it, making it Aliens and insinuating he was about to up the ante on this planned sequel. Finally, he drew two lines through the S he had added, turning it onto a dollar sign.”

I'm selling my car, if that's the kind of thing you're looking for

2018 Volkswagen Polo Launch Edition AW Auto MY18

Sixth-generation 2018 Volkswagen Polo Launch Edition in Limestone Grey metallic, five door hatch, 4.9 L/100km three Cylinder 1.0 Litre petrol engine with a sports automatic dual clutch transmission.

Apple CarPlay and Android Auto built-in.

Adaptive cruise control, stop/start engine for fuel efficiency, rain sensing wipers, power windows, autonomous emergency braking with pedestrian detection, driver-fatigue monitoring and automatic LED headlights. Viofo dashcam installed.

Just renewed for another 12 months of Queensland car registration, expires 10 January 2023.

Never been in an accident and has paid membership too VW Assist which includes free roadside assistant.

Available today, price includes GST as it’s being sold by a private business (not a car yard, my business).

$19,100 inc GST located in Tugun, Qld.

Song idea: Nugget Connection.

A song about why there are so many songs about chicken nuggets and why they look like little maps of Australia if Australia would just let Tasmania be free from its reign.

This is the first episode I’ve heard of Seth Roger’s Storytime podcast, but it’s a beautifully made podcast, and this episode is gripping and the story is so good! • The Ballad of Mount Doogie Dowler, Storytime with Seth Rogen

Productivity inversely affects creativity, and vice-versa. So, welcome to the lowest productivity week of the year. May your creativity flourish.

A letter to a newborn child, requested of Desmond Tutu by the girl’s father, July 2016:

Dear Juliet

Hello, little sister.

You don’t know me. I am a very old grandfather from South Africa nearing the end of my journey on earth while your journey—on another continent many miles away—is just beginning. We may never meet on earth, so I thought to send you a secret. Well, it’s not really a secret because we should all know it. So I don’t mind if you tell everyone else.

Did you know that all people belong to one family, the human family? That although we may look nothing like each other, live in separate homes, practise our own cultures, subscribe to different religions—and some of us have more money than others—we are all sisters and brothers of God’s family?

You and I, and everyone else, were born with the same purpose. For love, for goodness and for one another.

God Bless You.

Archbishop Emeritus Desmond Tutu

Cape Town, South Africa

Whenever I hear Carol Of The Bells I have this tribal urge to run home to protect it because I think it’s about to get robbed.

Disney+ thinks that Iron Man 3 is a Christmas movie. Is everything a Christmas movie now?

Bob Lefsetz, self-proclaimed boomer, on boomers:

“Going to see McCartney, the Stones and the Eagles has become a ritual. Because their music reminds us of when we were our best selves, when what we had to say was important, when we were against the man before we became the man, when we wanted the new instead of the old and familiar, when we wanted change instead of stasis.”

“A tribe without enemies is, almost by definition, not a tribe. As a consequence, tribal dispute and warfare is part of what defines humanity.”

“Things have changed a lot since. The biggest enemy we have to fight against right now is our tribal past. What served us so well for thousands of years is now an obsolete concept. It’s no more about the survival of this tribe or that one, but about Homo sapiens as a species. … For the first time in our collective history, we must think of ourselves as a single tribe on a single planet. … We are a single tribe, the tribe of humans. And, as such, not a tribe at all.”

— Marcelo Gleiser in “The Trouble with Tribalism” via Tim Ferriss’s email.

I met a Betty once and told her that when she calls me she can call me Al.

She just nodded in reply.

I think about this a lot.

If you got your professionally shot wedding, couple, or family photos printed at Officeworks, Harvey Norman, Big W this Christmas, know that you broke your photographer’s heart.

Kate Lindsay in Embedded:

“In the not too distant future, learning video editing will be the new learning cursive.”

When I’m elected your President I will legislate that bakeries are allowed to make and serve real rum rum balls. None of this bullshit chocolate ball stuff.

A lot of people whinge about Jesus being taken out of Christmas, my issue is much more important. My two local grocery stores have zero Christmas food. Who took the rum balls out of Christmas?

There’s a very late model MacBook Pro on my kitchen table and aside from all the power in that chip, I’m getting serious PowerBook Titanium G4 vibes from the body shape.

I’m that old that I’m having nostalgia for old computers.

Sophie Zhang and a Honduran disinformation researcher on Facebook’s election problem:

“We don’t expect Philip Morris to solve tobacco addiction”

Read on Rest Of The World

The British Medical Journal fact checks Facebook’s false fact checking of the BMJ’s “news blog”.

I can’t help but feel that the skill of knowledge, the skill of knowing something, will be a superhuman skill in the future. Because we can’t leave it up to algorithms.

PSA: next year isn’t actually 2022, it’s 2020 Two. It’s the sequel.

2020 II: 2020 and the Chamber of Secrets.

How grunge started

From today’s edition of Josh Spector’s For the Interested email:

“At the start of the 1990s, no one cared about the Seattle music scene.

That was a problem for the founders of indie record label Sub Pop, who couldn’t get any LA or New York music journalists to pay attention to their bands (including Nirvana).

So they got creative.

They flew out a British music journalist for a few days, set up a bunch of shows and introduced him to the Seattle scene.

He found it cool and wrote a big story about it.

That piece caught the attention of US journalists who suddenly thought they were missing something in their own backyard, and that launched the Grunge era.”

I really want to help this guy find this photo of Leonardo DiCaprio at the University of Sydney student bar, but the websites he mentions - 2Day FM and others - have all been re-made os many times there’s be no archives.

Is Santa coming on a one horse open sleigh, or with nine reindeers? Why are there so many holes in a fabricated story? Does Christmas need better writers?

Chinese spies infiltrated Aussie telco using Huawei gear and installed malware

Anthony in the The Sizzle via the old mates at Bloomberg who keep on reporting solid tech news despite screwing up ‘The Big Hack’ all those years ago:

According to Bloomberg the reason for Huawei’s exile from Australia was based on a “software update from Huawei that was installed on the network of a major Australian telecommunications company” in 2012.

A new religion is being formed on the Internet

Rebecca Jennings for Vox

“Call it the religion of “just asking questions.” Or the religion of “doing your own research.” It’s still in its infancy, and has evolved in an attempt to correct a societal wrong: that the world is a pretty fucked up place and it doesn’t seem like the current system of dealing with it is really working, so maybe something else is going on, something just out of reason’s reach.”

Our newest god is an algorithm.

COOKIES.TXT in 1994 according to Microsoft

Reading through this beautiful 1994 email remnant of a Microsoft that was trying to beat Apple and Unix from owning the Internet, apart from the zinger after zinger, my favourite element is the very innocent 1994 version of a COOKIES.TXT. The file was about baking cookies, the food ones. So sweet and innocent.

“The word on the Internet is that if you want to bring a server online, buy a Unix. If you want to get a cool Internet client, use Unix - or better yet buy a Macintosh.”

Some personal news: in the new year I’m also going to be studying a diploma in the difference between the “Auto Intensive”, “Auto Wash”, and “Super Wash” modes on my dishwasher.

What a time to be alive. When Dawkins defined a meme as “unit of cultural information spread by imitation” he was definitely thinking of Sidetalk NYC’s Thanksgiving on IG spreading to the Jonas Brothers in the Whitehouse on Tiktok. Bing bong.

What exactly is Crazy Frog riding? Is it a spacecraft, a motorbike, a bicycle, an Imperial Speeder Bike?

"Some worker’s preferences and lifestyles may have shifted after a year and half out of the labor force"

James Hennessy’s The Terminal on the rise of anti-work

“It’s not just media talking about the brewing revolution. In a November note to investors about the slow pace of recovery for US labour force participation, Goldman Sachs specifically pointed (with some evident concern) to the growth of r/antiwork, which it described as a possible bellwether of a developing distaste for employment among Americans.”

Ira Glass on beginners

If you’ve been in a car with me for for more than 30 minutes I’ve probably told you this story by Ira Glass, adlibbed by me. Here it is in full:

“Nobody tells this to people who are beginners, I wish someone told me.

All of us who do creative work, we get into it because we have good taste. But there is this gap.

For the first couple years you make stuff, it’s just not that good. It’s trying to be good, it has potential, but it’s not. But your taste, the thing that got you into the game, is still killer. And your taste is why your work disappoints you.

A lot of people never get past this phase, they quit.

Most people I know who do interesting, creative work went through years of this. We know our work doesn’t have this special thing that we want it to have. We all go through this.

And if you are just starting out or you are still in this phase, you gotta know it’s normal and the most important thing you can do is do a lot of work. Put yourself on a deadline so that every week you will finish one story. It is only by going through a volume of work that you will close that gap, and your work will be as good as your ambitions. And I took longer to figure out how to do this than anyone I’ve ever met. It’s gonna take awhile.

It’s normal to take awhile. You’ve just gotta fight your way through.”

Alan Jones’ “audience didn’t go anywhere. It’s still there and it’s still being fed the same old shit to serve the same old interests of the truly wealthy, madly powerful and deeply, deeply unaccountable.”

From JB’s Alien Sideboob

Spiders, mannn looks large over Brisbane

📈

Calile-rise

Astral Codex Ten on the potential threat of ancient plagues emerging:

“I think if something goes wrong, the third most likely vector will be curious Siberians who see a corpse half-hidden in the ice and go investigate. The second most likely vector will be archaeologists. And the most likely vector - by far - will be scientists investigating to see whether something could go wrong.”

Stand back, imma fix email

Why people hate their email but also why they should love it.

I think it’s a crime that not many people subscribe to The Sizzle. The idea of paying $5 a month for it still scares lots of people away. Which is crazy, because for $5 you get immense value from the desk of @decryption. I referred my mate Nick to The Sizzle and he said “The Sizzle is one of the best things I regularly read. Can’t believe I didn’t know about it til now.” In that group chat another friend replied “Most people hate email. That’s a huge hurdle.” Which is true, but I have a theory about email.

People saying they hate email is like people that say they hate church. There’s actually nothing wrong with church as a building, an idea, the gospel as a whole is a good guide for living, it’s just that some people have majorly abused elements of church. Seriously, please stop, Christians. So should we burn church as a concept to the ground? Churches don’t kill people, people kill people. Or something like that. Should we burn email to the ground?

On the “burning email to the ground” note, a recent episode of Hemispheric Views interviewed Rob from Fastmail on the topic /cc @hemisphericviews @canion @martinfeld @burk

IMHO it’s the same with email, emails aren’t bad, but the way people use email can be bad.

I look at my mate Ash’s iPhone screen and see the red badge on his email app and it terrifies me. What’s the current unread count, Ash? The thing is, most people don’t love their inbox because it’s their internet yard … and most people don’t like looking after their own backyard.

They like going to restaurants where waiters bring the food and take away dirty dishes. We like going to public parks where the council mows the lawn. We love theme parks where the employees maintain the rides. In this analogy, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Apple News, LinkedIn, Snapchat, TikTok, are the third parties.

It turns out our homes & our yards are pretty cool, we just need to invest into them, maintain them, clean them, and if we do, we might enjoy living in them, and we can do whatever we like there because it’s our backyard.

Email is the backyard of the internet. Your inbox is yours, you own it, and most of us leave it to rot because it’s not on public display and most people won’t see it.

  1. Hit the unsubscribe button on as many emails as you can. Be brutal, if you miss it, you can go back and resubscribe, but you don’t let just anyone camp in your backyard.
  2. Have a personal inbox, hopefully on your own domain, so you’re not beholden to a big tech provider. I recommend Fastmail, or for my personal email I use iCloud/MobileMe/.Mac, I have for maybe 14 years.
  3. Separate work and personal. Get personal emails in your personal inbox, work in your work inbox. Don’t look at your work inbox if you’re not working.
  4. Explore other email apps, technologies, and plugins, like Spark or Sanebox.
  5. Listen to this episode of Mac Power Users to get a little jumpstart on email.
  6. Regularly check your spam fodler and mark as not junk or move it to your inbox so the junk mail filter learns what is good and bad. On GMail learn how to use the Promotional tabs etc, and even disable them if you like.
  7. Actively look for emails to subscribe to. If you do have emails you love to receive, share them as a reply to this so others can experience the joy of receiving good, nice, helpful, relevant emails in their inbox.

Here’s my mostly up to date list of emails I subscribe to.

Email is one of the few agnostic, device-independent, big-tech-independent, communication channels that you can easily and lovingly own. Learn to love it. Mow your internet backyard, and maybe even do some landscaping.

Science:

“Researchers have identified an odorless compound emitted by people—and in particular babies—called hexadecanal, or HEX, that appears to foster aggressive behavior in women and blunt it in men.”

Just a heads up and reminder - because @scottymcdonald reminded me - that maybe you’re walking around with excess blood this Christmas, so why not donate some and they’ll pass it onto some peeps that really need it.

Nature is healing!

The Queensland border has been open to other people for 12 hours and our roads are filled with tourists who don’t know the roads again. It’ll be a good week for tow trucks.

Business idea: Home Alone 6: Too home, too alone.

Name the song with lyrics and without searching:

“You serve me up with cake and that’s your big mistake”

How you know email communities are a real threat: when Facebook enters the game.

James Clear:

“Someone else living a good life does not prevent you from living a good life. There are many ways to win and plenty of space.”

Some personal news, December 2021

The past two years has rocked us to the very core financially, mentally, emotionally, and to think it’s still not over yet. We’ve been trying to keep moving towards our north star of not being old, grumpy, tired, burnt out, angry, people that the old panny-demmy ruined. That’s not the news, that’s just me setting the scene.

1. New job!

The main news is that I’m diversifying my career and I’ve taken an opportunity to join the team at Harcourts Property Centre and over the next season I’ll be training and learning how to be a gun real estate nerd. Britt and I have bought two homes and sold one so I have some opinions on how I think I could bring a Josh-like-vibe to the real estate game.

I’m actually really excited about my future career placing people in their new home. On that note, getting new listings is the hard work in real estate. I plan on being authentic on that journey, but if you’re local to me and looking to sell, call a brother ;)

2. Still creating marriage ceremonies!

As far as weddings and elopements go, nothing is changing. Anyone who has me booked in, we’re all still good to go. Nothing to stress about, I am still your celebrant. Could you imagine finding out the opposite on social media?!

I’ll still take new wedding bookings into the future, but maybe less, and probably more local. I’ve lost more money to airlines, Airbnb’s, and hotels in the last two years than most people have spent so I’m fairly gun-shy about gallivanting around the universe in the near future. That’s why I’m adding real estate to my resume, because I think I can do a great job, and it tends to be a little closer to home.

Want me to be your celebrant? withers.co/celebrant

3. About this instagram account!

So [my wedding Instagram page, @hellojoshwithers](https://instagram.com/hellojoshwithers) will broaden out and I’ll share my weddings, elopements, family, and real estate story; and my old personal Instagram, I’ve decided to start sharing my love for the better end of the Gold Coast, the GC south of Talle' so I’ve renamed that account @southoftalle.

I’ve been making photos for more local businesses and myself recently, if you’d like some photos of your business or home get in touch at withers.co/josh

4. About @southoftalle!

About four years ago our family made the move south of the border, that is, the border to the Southern Gold Coast: Tallebudgera Creek. I was a proud North Gold Coaster but Tugun, Palm Beach, Currumbin, Cooly, Snapper, all won my heart.

I’m a storyteller at heart and I want to tell the story of the better end of the Gold Coast, the GC south of Talle'. So I’ve converted my old “here’s random photos of stuff” Instagram account to @southoftalle and started an email newsletter, sharing the stories of the Southern Gold Coast. I’d actually love to work that old radio muscle and podcast with my neighbours down here, other entrepreneurs, and locals that have a cool story, like the bloke that plays the didgeridoo at Snapper Rocks. So if you want to fall in love with the promise land south of the Tallebudgera Creek, give me a follow over at @southoftalle and throw your email address in here.

I’m keen to get my new drone up, and to fire up my camera, and share my ‘hood.

5. Britt’s making photos of families and couples!

I’m super proud of Britt, she’s picked up the camera and started making photos that really rock families and couples’ world - she’s sharing them over at @brittanywithersphoto and you can book her in at withers.co/britt.

Mavic 3’s 1x versus 28x zoom.

Somewhere in my nerdiness - born in DOS, grew into Win 3.11-XP, morphed on over to macOS sometime in 2006 - I missed the workshop that explained how websites work in 2021.

It’s like website admin has gotten harder since Frontpage and Dreamweaver, then Wordpress, not easier ….

I’m so keen I reckon I’ll double these numbers before 2022

After being grounded for over a year - since the great wave vs. drone fight of 2019 - some of my favourite people bought me a new bird to commemorate my 40th birthday.

I am beyond pumped to get back in the air making art!

Cherian George for Nieman Lab:

“China’s and Russia’s global influence operations won’t need to resort to fake news to exploit the genuine dysfunctions in the American system.”

Photoshoot with a spider

The most depressing take on the state of “the media” today is the one in Max Read’s email that basically suggests that Buzzfeed’s public listing failure will be its biggest success because it will prove that there’s no market for more new media.

Happy Pretend to Be A Time Traveller Day!

(Yes, this is a real international day, Google it.)

Ever seen a goanna scale a brick wall?

“So let’s sink another drink, ‘Cause it’ll give me time to think, If I had the chance I’d ask the world to dance, And I’d be dancing with myself, oh-oh.”

With every drop of news about Omicron I feel sicker about our future. The pandemic is strangling the life out of a business we’ve spent 10 years building. Even just on Saturday with the closure of the Queensland and Tasmanian borders to Adelaide, that cost me $3130.

“If you want a golden rule that will fit everybody, this is it: Have nothing in your houses that you do not know to be useful or believe to be beautiful.”

— William Morris

Spouses, as you cross the 75% completion mark of cleaning up after dinner, be like: “oh, honey, I’ll clean up, leave it to me”

Hello! I’m Josh Withers. You may remember me from such movies as Regional Breakfast Radio Guy, Weird International Wedding Celebrant, Super Zoom Photographer, and 2022’s Newest Real Estate Agent.

All the world’s a social feed, and all the men and women are merely variables in an algorithm.

That time Microsoft tried to buy Nintendo

“They just laughed their asses off. Like, imagine an hour of somebody just laughing at you. That was kind of how that meeting went.”

– Kevin Bachus, the former director of third-party relations for Microsoft’s Xbox unit, recalling (for the 20th anniversary look-back at Xbox) the time when Steve Ballmer sent a team to see about acquiring Nintendo.

via M.G Siegler’s Happy Hour email

I find it interesting that this important research of 60,000 Australians released as a YouTube video has only been watched 154 times. It’s fascinating data on Australian consumers trust, and also separately, distrust of Australian brands, companies, and industries.

Southern Gold Coasters wondering what’s happening at the old Pizza Hut beachside pavilion, it’s called Siblings, and I’ve been documenting the build.

“Ninety-nine percent of who you are is invisible and untouchable.”

– Buckminster Fuller

My 2020-2030 prediction

A friend, hi Andy, was talking about business and investment opportunities in the coming years. I blurted this out as a text message but thought I might record it here on my blog to look back on in 8 years time.

The 2020’s - in Australia and the western world - Will be marked by a couple of significant factors.

– Number one will be high interest rate policy, HIRP, after a decade of low interest-rate policy, LIRP, interest rates will start to rise and this is going to change a lot of things economically - hopefully positively - for the world. My uneducated guess is that it’s going to be a time of slightly more wealth distribution. Low interest-rate policy takes the wealth out of the centre, high interest policy will spread it around more and create more opportunities financially.

  • Secondly, there will be a very significant change in the mindsets of people to live for the moment. This means short-term gratification, short-term wins, short-term growth, will be favourable and long-term success will be less popular. There are opportunities here to take advantage of those people.

  • Thirdly, experiences like travel and other in person experiences will have a very high growth rate after we’ve been locked up for a while. We want and need to connect with our history, our people, our families and friends.

  • Finally, media and communication, social networks, and how we use technology to live, is going to change dramatically with a shift away from Facebook and Google and Microsoft, and there will be a move towards deeper online experiences in smaller niche communities. This is another real opportunity for investment and growth. A good example of this is the company unity who is listed in America under the stock code U. They just purchased Weta in NZ and that positions them amazingly to creat in real time 3D worlds, entertainment experiences like a movie or TV show, and of course games which I already involved in. In the past where you would think of an idea like a TV show and then you would write it, and then you would have to cast and film it. In the future with technology like unity is working on your then just program the script into the system and then you’ll have a TV show. So many massive opportunities in how we experience life and entertainment.

One bonus point: weed. As that’s decriminalised there’s big opportunities imho.

Thought I’d share something I’m proud of today: I’ve consolidated all of our family’s brands and business ventures under the one website/domain name: withers.co

You’re Probably Not Late

From David Perell’s Monday Musings email:

Whenever you find yourself thinking you’re late to a new technological trend, remember that Walt Disney thought he was late to animation in 1923. ​ On the same theme, Marc Andreessen thought he’d missed the Silicon Valley boom when he arrived in 1994. He said: “My big feeling was I just missed it, I missed the whole thing. It had happened in the ‘80s, and I got here too late.” ​ According to one of my Twitter followers, some of the earliest written fragments from Sumer in 3,000 BCE show people complaining that all the good subjects had already been covered by earlier poets.

We’re proud to announce that we’re expecting. Santa that is. We’re expecting Santa.

I also told Luna this week that Santa’s not alive any more, but people dress up like him … soooo I’m a great person.

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but we don’t use whisky stones, save your money

Epidemiologists: Omicron’s not a big deal guys. News media: NEW FLESH, LET’S GO BABY!

1859 or 2021?

“It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of light, it was the season of darkness…”

Finally, ScoMo will keep me safe from you all.

We’ll that’s the last time I try to rent a hit man through RentAHitman.com, the guy behind it just forwards all the enquiries to the police and they aren’t proper hitmen. shout out to all the hitladies that also feel excluded.

Business idea: drone birth photography.

Britt: You’re not going to be able to get the cactus inside once you’ve repotted it. Me: Trust me honey, I’ve got this. Narrator: And yet he did not have “this.”

Got fizzy photographs // documented the build of Hard Fizz’s first home here on the Gold Coast.

#toiletsofthegoldcoast #hardfizzhq

My secret superpower is telling people that the lyrics in the chorus of George Ezra’s Budapest are “I’d leave it all”.

Welcome to the Withers Cinematic Universe.

What’s the @qldpolice definition of illegal littering?

Because every week a kid drives past my house and throws this rubbish on my driveway.

And is it the driver littering, their employer, or @woolworths, @TAFEQld, @bunnings, @JBHiFi and co?

I’m on a conference call right now with Dally Messenger and other leaders of the celebrant community with the Attorney-General’s office, and he’s made a big claim: That people who aren’t Australian First Nations, or Jewish or other religions, don’t have a culture. Thoughts?

A tale of two burghers

One of the best things about working in the wedding industry through Covid is that I’ve finally become the disappointment my step-mother said I was. #kickinggoals

My three most embarrassing celebrity interview stories

You’ve probably heard about Seven’s Matt Doran’s not listening to Adele’s new album before interviewing her. Classic “you had one job” kinda material. I’m not defending Matt, but I’ve got three embarrassing celebrity interview stories of my own from my time on radio if you’d like to hear them?

Story number one was my first interview with someone famous. Not my first conversation, that was with Diesel, aka Johnny Diesel, as I answered the call in the 4CRM reception and put it through to the announcer on air. This first story is about TISM.

TISM had just released 2004’s The White Albun was described to The Age as “basically what Jet are doing, which is taking The Beatles ideas and changing them a little bit at the end. If it’s worked for Jet, it’s going to work for us, that’s what we’re hoping.”

Their record company had emailed out opportunities for phone interviews and I, volunteer aspiring radio announcer at 107.5 FM Stereo 4CRM Community Radio Mackay keenly replied in the affirmative.

At the allotted time the phone rings, I put the phone in the second studio in speakerphone mode, point a microphone at that speaker, decide not to wear headphones, click record on the Sony MiniDisc recorder, and answer the call.

It’s my first phone interview, I’m nervous as hell, I have lost my paper notes, and I’ve forgotten the name of the person I’m interviewing. I think on my feet and pretend that we’re live on air. My thought is that I can make out like we’re live and get them to tell me their name.

Ron Hitler-Barassi is a smart man and he senses my screwup. He’s got his notes. He interrupts my spiel about how I’ve got my good mate from TISM on them phone and I’d like them to introduce themselves to my (very small) audience.

Ron Hitler-Barassi says “if we’re such good friends Joshua Withers from 4CRM Mackay, why don’t you introduce me to everyone listening.” The interview is me stumbling over myself the whole time and it’s terrible.

Luckily because I wasn’t wearing studio headphones I couldn’t hear that I had left the horse racing satellite channel up and the interview was me, Ron Hitler-Barassi, and the horse racing. Sadly lost to the archives.

The second story is from a few years later when I’d gotten a paid job in commercial radio - as a broadcast engineer/nerd/IT guy for Sea FM on the Gold Coast - but I actually wanted to be on air so I was volunteering hosting breakfast at the station now called Juice 107.3FM.

It was really running me down, on air from 6am to 9am as a volunteer and then working a full-time job after. Tired does not begin to describe my state of being. This morning I’d gotten off air, forgot I had a phone interview, and fell asleep on a couch.

I’m asleep, and the radio station receptionist wakes me up and tells me that Guy Sebastian is on hold for me.

I remember that I was supposed to listen to his new Memphis album, and I was supposed to have researched his motives behind recording the album, and what it all meant - I had done none of this.

Fudged the whole interview, revealed to Guy Sebastian that I hadn’t listened to the album, didn’t know what Memphis music was like, and I was a fish out of water. Guy’s management banned me from doing future phone interviews. Rightly so.

Embarrassing story number three is from my very first day on air at what was then called Star FM Port Macquarie, formerly Rox, now Hit. I had a fill-in co-host for the week til my actual co-host was home from mental health break after the last co-host almost drove her mad.

It was International Men’s Day 2010, so my pitch was that we try and get as many international men on the breakfast show as possible.

I start tweeting and mentioning people furiously figuring if I asked lots of people, a handful would reply. One of them was @russellcrowe.

I don’t know why Russell Crowe called. My guess is that he thought I was a kid pranking him and he’d freak me out by actually calling.

Either way, here’s the awkward and uncomfortable recording on Soundcloud.

I die inside listening to that.

"More evidence suggests that nature does something essential for our mental health"

“More evidence suggests that nature does something essential for our mental health. Specifically, we have learned that nature tends to result in reduced circulating levels of the stress hormones adrenaline and cortisol, lowered blood pressure, blunted “perceived stress” after stressful life events, and lower short-term levels of anxiety and depression. We also appear to ruminate less after we’ve spent time in nature, a phenomenon distinct enough to appear as differences in neural activity during brain scans. One recent study selected 541 vacant lots across the city of Philadelphia and randomly allocated each to either receive no intervention; receive regular trash removal and mowing; or be turned into open pocket parks, with trees and a pleasant, short wooden-perimeter fence. Survey teams blind to the intervention were sent out to question residents at random before and after the great experiment, eventually interviewing nearly 450 people about their mental health. When the study was complete, its architects found that residents of neighborhoods where lots had been greened were much healthier psychologically than those whose lots had merely been cleaned. Around greened lots, neighborhood-level rates of feeling “depressed” dropped by 42%, feeling “worthless” by 51% and having generally “poor mental health” by 63 percent.

Read the whole article in Outside via Kyle Westaway’s Weekend Briefing email.

I turn 40 in a few weeks. There was a time where I never believed I’d make it past 21 as I saw friends and people around me dropping like flies.

Between 21 and 39 I mostly felt immortal.

But for the past year all I have thought about is what will happen to my blog when I die.

There’s a new Terminal command in macOS Monterey: networkquality.

It’s an internet speed test in the terminal.

Is this how Apple News is supposed to work? I make an active decision to not engage with content from a certain brand, and in its place I just get a full page notice that I’ve chosen to not engage with that brand?

I don’t know who need to hear this, but the young male voice that says “Welcome to McDonalds, we’ll be with you in a moment” as you pull up at a McDonalds drive through is a pre-recorded message.

You don’t need to say “thanks” like I do each time.

“Most people in life want one-of-a-kind outcomes.

The problem is, in the quest to get there, most people follow the same path as everyone else.

Lesson: If you want an n-of-1 result, don’t take the 1-of-n road.”

– @RomeenSheth

You need to know about, and install the Shortcut for, 12ft.io if you browse the webs and don’t want to have a subscription to every flipping news website on the planet.

Presenting the Hard Fizz HQ Gold Coast toilets … shot for zero 9.

Taking expressions of interest in a Slightly Interested Koalas Yacht Club from any of you that have too much money.

“Over the last couple of years, governments have been telling Australians what to do, now there has been a need for that as we have gone through the pandemic, but the time is now to start rolling all of that back.”

Prime Minister Scott Morrison

If you’re waiting for a sign …

“I realised that anything I did long enough to master was no longer useful to me.”

– Designer, Milton Glasser

A mate mentioned pirating software and it took me right back to 20 years ago where we had a keygen or a hack or serial number for ecverything.

They really were the good ol days, access to the world’s software, entertainment, and media, the only cost was time, so much time waiting for the painfully slow internet to bring you the goods.

It’s a hard position to advocate for - piracy - but letting kids have free access to software created a generation of modern creatives and tech professionals. Back then, to learn Photoshop or CAD or programming we’d pirate it, now you’ve got to pony up dollars every month. How do kids today learn this stuff without paying thousands of dollars they don’t havre for it?

This thread on antivaxx rings so true right now in my own life 🧵

“Rich people need it. Poor people have it. If you eat it, you die. And when you die, you take it with you. What is it?”

From: The Nothingness of Money, By Lawrence Yeo

The “Simple Sabotage Field Manual,” declassified in 2008 and available on the CIA’s website, provided instructions for how everyday people could help the Allies weaken their country by reducing productivity.

Sounds like a regular office.

Introducing Luna to the great Australian tradition of running through sprinklers naked in summer

I’m not an anti-vaxxer I just enjoy typing those five words to trigger you.

Currently reading: Inside Steve’s Brain by Leander Kahney 📚

Will driverless cars do burnouts?

It’s cool that there’s a Catwoman, Batman, and Spider-Man, but where’s all the stories about Possumperson, Koalaman, and Wombatwoman?

Reminder today of the best coffee I’ve ever drink in the whole planet, two years ago in Tokyo: Sarutahiko Coffee, outside a train station. Their classic French blend will forever be my gold standard for coffee.

Seven years ago since Kim Kardashian broke the internet. Hopefully they’ll start fixing it soon.

Is this like climate change? How long have they been recording it? And by what measure do they define it being good or bad? I have so many questions.

1991 tech ad from Brashs

What’s the best New York street?

If I can be real for a bit, I find it extremely disconcerting that the unvaccinated are being treated like this. Seriously. It’s scary how a society and government can decide to ostracise like this. Imagine if it was the same thing on a different vector.

The Metaverse already exists, it's just currently called the Internet

Here is the punchline: the Metaverse already exists, it just happens to be called the Internet. Consider the seven qualities Matthew Ball used to define the Metaverse; the Internet satisfies all of them:

  • The Internet is persistent
  • The Internet is synchronous and live
  • The Internet has no cap to concurrent users, while also providing each user with an individual sense of “presence”
  • The Internet has a fully functioning economy
  • The Internet is an experience that spans both the digital and physical worlds, private and public networks/experiences, and open and closed platforms
  • The Internet offers unprecedented (although not perfect) interoperability of data, digital items/assets, content, etc.
  • The Internet is populated by “content” and “experiences” created and operated by an incredibly wide range of contributors

Read more at stratechery

“Doing small things with love is the atom of bravery.”

— Mark Nepo

Listening to radio on the Sunshine Coast and the announcer plays three grabs of three songs then says “find out which one we’re going to play after the break” so it’s good to know they’ve not invented any new ideas for daytime radio.

Proposal: Reclassify the Logan Hyperdome to a Logan Dome.

“Most people optimise for the day ahead. A few people optimise for 1-2 years ahead. Almost nobody optimises for 3-4 years ahead (or longer).

The person who is willing to delay gratification longer than most reduces competition and gains a decisive advantage.

Patience is power.”

– James Clear

Something no-one talks about is how if you’re really cool in the metaverse, you’re actually not really cool in real life.

Just minted an NFT of the current vibe in my house after I’ve sole-parented all day. Critics are calling it a “hollowed out tree trunk of a man”, others are saying “I would not spend 1eth on that.”

Available now on OpenSea.

I don’t want to be Elon Musk Rich, I just want to be Extra Guac Even If I’m Not Sure Rich. I

Cool story

The year is 2051. All of us but the elite are working for below minimum wage in the Farmville metaverse tending to digital crops and feeding metaverse animals in overseas countries so we have a metaverse visa to access a different metaverse than the one our parents were in.

Local barista wrapped up our conversation saying “see you next week!”

Am I allowed back tomorrow because I assume she works on a Sunday to Saturday calendar where I personally see Monday as the first day of the week?

It was an overcast morning for shooting the build of the new restaurant at Kirra Pavilion but they wanted it to look bright and sunny.

Lightroom is evil, and its new sky selection tool is even naughtier.

Editing the image in three screenshots …

In the metaverse there are no clothes. Just pixels.

Proud of you Scotty, you’ve now written 100% more books than most other people on the planet. You join the ranks of Seth Godin, the Apostle Paul, John Green, Stephen King, and of course Nick Earls. Party on, Wayne 🤘🏻

Sharing a little highlight gallery from a property I’m documenting for Zero 9 Constructions. We’re a few weeks away from handover at this stage.

I’m kind of in love with this Japanese style soaking tub.

If our parents disown us in real life do they disown us in the metaverse?

Shoot day for a bunch of Gold Coast businesses today

Please do not worship me, but I just wound up a dish cloth tightly and whipped a fly to its death.

Age groupings

Imagine being on the Q train from Brooklyn into Manhattan, a regular Tuesday morning in September 2001, the train comes above ground and the World Trade Towers are just on fire then it sinks underground again and you don’t know what’s going on.

Snapper Rocks

One of my earliest memories - and there’s only a few from this traumatic time in my life - is watching my new step-mother, Selena, pile up all of our childhood photos, memories of my mother, and the family before Selena arrived, and burn them in the backyard. It was quite ceremonial and I imagine it must have felt quite nice for her. But I’ve always wondered what the significance was.

Burning the photos didn’t make my mother burn, despite her absence at the time, but it wasn’t until later in life that I recognised what she was burning: my story.

My first camera was a Nokia 7600 with an almighty 0.3 megapixel sensor and the magic of capturing photos overcame me.

Which leads me to today.

I make photos today, they’re ok, but I’m really interested in discovering how photos matter to people, how my photos can matter to people, and if they would.

My plan

The plan is to document these learnings, what I’ve experienced and learned so far, dive into equipment, techniques, and talk about money, in an email/blog called “Shudder Speed” and you can subscribe, all free, shudderspeed.co

I’ll share what I’ve learned, ask questions of my friends that are practising photographers, and reach out to strangers to ask the same questions.

Sometime in the next decade or so maybe I’ll figure out how to make photos that matter to people other than me, and I’d love to drag you along for the ride.

I’ve been lucky enough to create weddings all over the globe and I’ve been trying to make photos that matter that entire time. Generally speaking I’ve been mostly unsuccessful at reaching this goal, but the few times one of my photos has mattered to someone will be documented in upcoming emails.

I’m still creating weddings and elopements, and intend to continue until people stop asking me to.

How do floorboards work?

Like, if your toddler vomits and there’s vomit between the floorboards, is that no longer my responsibility now that it’s out of my paper towel’s reach?

What are the floorboard rules?

Real talk fam, are people really paying $50 or $75 a month for LinkedIn?

A little demo of Adobe Photoshop 2022’s Neural filter on one of my photos

Qantas: Yeah, look, there’s been a slight delay with your flight, you’re going to be four weeks late …

I hope one day I can look back on my life and say I was wrong more than I was right.

That will mean I wasn’t on the sidelines, but I was on the field, fighting, having a go. I’ll not be proud of being wrong, but admitting it when I am.

That distinctive, earthy odour that is associated with rainfall is called petrichor. When raindrops land on a porous surface, air from the pores forms small bubbles, which float to the surface and release aerosols. Such aerosols carry a scent as well as bacteria and viruses from the soil. The scent is called petrichor.

Via the very good Dense Discovery email.

“I heard that Warren Buffett addresses the early drafts of his shareholder letters to his sister, Dorothy. Once he finishes it, he replaces her name with “Shareholders.”

The lesson: Writing for a huge audience is a fast track to getting writer’s block, so write for one person instead.”

via Monday Musings

How I’m feeling through this season:

“Each time you stopped, you would descend into a depression, believing that you had hit a wall and lost the ability to work, that you would never work again.”

From: The life and the work are equally important - by Shaun Usher

Can you believe that we’ve turned Australia off and on again a few times, but we still have this silly Melbourne Cup virus running around our system.

Surely after the last two years we could of learned how to get drunk and eat roast chicken without needlessly killing horses?

Boy, am I feeling this after the last two years of hell in my business.

Tim Ferriss tells the crowd at South by Southwest in 2007 that:

“their professional lives were unsustainable, and that they should consider doing something more interesting with their time.”

I’ve never been more interested in quitting work and becoming that crazy man that lives in the bush.

Netflix says 142 million households have watched Squid Games. Wikipedia says there are 2,178 million “households” in the world. So, 6.5% of the households have seen the most popular Netflix show ever.

You don’t need to win everyone, you just need to win a few. Be unpopular. Be niche.

People across the liberated democracy of Australia celebrate as they are now liberated to visit other countries muted cheers as everyone realises they’ve got to go through LAX customs in a few hours

“I just want to fucking make it one more day.”

Dave Grohl on Foo Fighters, His Memoir, Life After Nirvana in Vulture

Chinghee Creek on a Saturday Night for Travis & Christie

“Some people die at 25 and aren’t buried until 75.”

Benjamin Franklin

Happy 50th Sea World

50 of my and Luna’s favourite photos at Sea World for their 50th birthday today

Not in a million years could I of imagined Miley Cyrus, Elton John, WATT, Yo-Yo Ma, Metallica’s own Robert Trujillo on bass + Red Hot Chili Peppers’ Chad Smith on drums covering Nothing Else Matters - and that I’d love it.

Remember that time that the Black Eyed Peas hadn’t hit the big time yet, but when they did they had to re-record one of their songs? I’m prepping for a wedding I’m DJing tonight and wondering how people would react if I pulled out the OG.

On @danilic’s prompting I’ve installed DaVinci Resolve and am trying it for the first time this morning. I don’t know what this does but I am frightened at how it could edit me.

My favourite macOS Monterey feature is the bug when you spread your four fingers to expose (Mission Control) the Desktop but the Desktop isn’t usable to drag and drop onto, or into folders.

Luna’s learning the ancient story of Saint Vincent de Paul, the mysterious saint that roams the homes of naughty children taking their favourite toys to sell them for a gold coin.

Friday sunrise at Snapper Rocks

Corporate headshots don’t have to look like you were just dragged in front of a photographer to get a photo for the website.

Created for Lightning Broadband.

One story out of many on how the Sydney Covid lockdown currently ending has cost me so much money

On the first day of the Sydney lockdown that’s currently ending, I had a wedding booked in the Blue Mountains. I was driving down (flights had been cancelled twice) at the time the lockdown was announced and I told the couple I couldn’t attend their wedding because:

  1. The couple lived in one of the four local government area’s that had been ordered to stay at home, the NSW Premier said at the time “if you live or work in those four local government areas you should not leave your home unless you have to.”
  2. Sydney was entering a pretty severe lockdown and weddings were banned, there was literally four reasons given to leave the house. Weddings were allowed “for compassionate reasons” on the day they were married and I didn’t think that an elopement with no guests for a local couple who hadn’t communicated any compassionate reasons was more important than public safety.
  3. I would need to quarantine on arrival back to Queensland for two weeks afterward which is super fun for work and leave me making a financial loss on the wedding.

I offered to freely postpone to a time when they were allowed to marry, and if I couldn’t be there, I’d hire a celebrant in my place.

They rejected that offer and found a celebrant and photographer who would flout the stay at home orders.

Today a NSW Civil & Administrative Tribunal member issued them a full refund because I told them I couldn’t come, instead of just leaving them high and dry and not turning up, because then it would have then been a force majeure event.

So just in case you were curious, lockdowns mean nothing to consumer action, law is an ever flexible and changing ball of goo, the wedding industry really is not going well after two years of this, and apparently I now it’s my job to report a couple to NSW Police for breaching stay at home orders.

Covid sucks. Covid has almost completely killed my passion for weddings.

Zuckerberg chose Meta over Oasis?! That’s $100 to the bookies I’ll never get back.

Dreading the day that I see in VR a friend commit real-life suicide in the middle of a metaverse flame-war because they’re antivax or think pineapple on pizza is important.

It’s super cute when people talk about national debt like it’s not a completely made up concept, not a scientific force of nature like gravity.

Sunrise elopement at The Calile Hotel this morning

Sorry sir, I am all out of way

It’s hot, damn hot. If you’re getting married when it’s hot: 1) Bring cold water, so much flipping water, 2) Get married as late in the day as your venue and photographer will let you, 3) find the shade, for the love of god put us in the shade.

All of my Apple devices are upgraded and now there’s a openthread.thread.home.arpa on my network. Nest Smoke Alarms, or HomePod Minis?

FCKGW-RHQQ2-YXRKT-8TG6W-2B7Q8. 20 years of Windows XP #neverforget

Monday afternoon in Burleigh Heads

Luna’s birthday week comes to a close. Now we have 51 weeks of mourning until her fourth birthday celebrations can begin.

When Apple started using the phrase “there’s an app for that” in 2009, they were definitely not thinking of an app that simulates a cat purring on your lap being released today.

Uh, oh, watch out petrol cars, the Chief Health Officer is coming for ya!

Two iPods are some of my favourite computers of all time

These two computers are two of my favourite Apple computers. The iMac G4, the white Intel MacBook, and my current Apple Silicon MacBook Air are up there as well, but these two were the first computers I fell in love with.

The first, the iPod Shuffle. A computer without a screen with seven buttons and two ports. 512MB of my favourite songs shuffled. I have vivid memories of walking to work with this wonder of a computer.

The second, the iPhone I bought when I couldn’t buy an iPhone, the iPod Touch, released in Australia while the iPhone was USA only.

Happy 20th birthday, iPod, you’ve run a good race.

Panic’s Cabel Sasser shares a prototype original iPod on the iPod’s 20th birthday.

Steve Jobs’s resume:

“I’m looking for a fixer-upper with a solid foundation. Am willing to tear down walls, build bridges, and light fires. I have great experience, lots of energy, a bit of that ‘vision thing’ and I’m not afraid to start from the beginning.”

My Kindle Oasis is starting to get a bit long in the tooth, almost four years old and it’s battery barely lasts a day or two.

Is there a new Oasis on the cards or do I just replace it, considering the battery is non-replaceable?

“I’ve long thought that the destruction of time in which to think – and do nothing else – is a much more massive problem than anyone cares to think about, nor has time to.”

M.G. Siegler in his email today, and then links to his 2015 piece: The Death of Thought.

Just some personal news, I’ve decided that I know about the same amount about epidemiology, public health policy, firearms, the movie industry, bushfires, human rights, sexuality, religion, climate, and nuclear submarines.

But if you want any ideas on which MacBook to buy 🤙🏼

Facebook’s algorithm automatically sent a bot “full-on Qanon” within 48 hours.

One day I’ll write an essay about how the Facebook algorithm’s tendency to send people this way has made my life rather painful.

Life status: my three year old lives on my shoulders.

I’ve got 99 problems and they could all be solved with a new MacBook Pro, a DJI Mavic 3, and maybe a new 35mm lens I think.

Seeing as though my social media influence is waning on the daily I have some personal news, I’m starting a Withers Media & Technology Group. You’re going to love it.

How do you know things?

I think all day every day about the world I want to leave Luna and Goldie in.

I spend so much time wondering how to teach them how to know things. What they know will forever by growing and changing, but how they know things. How they learn, and how they research, and experiment, that’s so important to me.

So I’ve decided to create email accounts for them and to start writing to them. Because my words matter to them.

Your words matter.

Share them, with anyone, everyone, with me.

I don’t really care about fitting in with cool buzzwords and virtue signalling. But tell me how you lived in a tense moment today and how it was weird or awkward, but we learned more about each other.

Tell me about how you didn’t know something and you said you didn’t know.

Tell me about how you were scared and you said you were scared.

Life’s too short for platitudes and fitting in. Let’s be scared, daft, vulnerable, and authentic together. I don’t care what you know, but I’d love to know how you know it.

“The committee recommends that the Australian Government establish a new Decentralised Autonomous Organisation company structure.”

In the Australian Financial Review: Senate report proposes model to regulate the crypto economy

Every day I wonder when the day will arrive when it’s the last time I ever pick Luna up. What I mean is that when she’s 35 I’m probably not going to pick her up and throw her on my shoulders. So when, between three and thirty five will that day be?

“You always know when you’re doing something for the first time, and you almost never know when you’re doing something for the last time.”

Via The Last Time Always Happens Now

Explaining stocks to NFT kids

“I collect shares of businesses … I use a certain type of non fungible token called a stock certificate for this.

Speedtest’s quarterly Australian internet report shows that Aussie Broadband outperforms everyone else, including Telstra. I’m an Aussie customer, I’m getting about 900mbps down, if you signup using my refer-a-friend code we both get a kick off our next bill: 5272836.

The most annoying position anyone can take through this season is a religious devotion to vaccines, or anti-vax, or lockdown, or open up, or whatever fucking position you think is correct.

We’re all mostly wrong and have no idea.

Screenshot from today’s NYT email.

GG

Guy on the phone with me right now from Australia Post is trying to convince me that Australia Post does other things on top of delivering mail, I’m like “just deliver me my mail, mate” and he’s not too sure what to do with that information.

Ben Sherpherd’s “The Commercial Experience 21.11: Programming the news media” dissects how the news has changed over the last three years

“My view is news media was more like SVOD, but COVID has made it more like TV.”

It really has been a blockbuster season of tiring news.

A walking disappointment to his mother

The Gold Coast gets one case of Covid, the first in 15 days in Queensland, and the whole state breathes in through its teeth.

“An intellectual says a simple thing in a hard way. An artist says a hard thing in a simple way.”

Charles Bukowski, click through for 94 more

“The stated mission of a company worth almost two trillion dollars is to “organize the world’s information” and yet the Internet remains poorly organized.”

Re-Organizing the World’s Information: Why we need more Boutique Search Engines

Happy third birthday Lu, I’m so proud to be your dad

Me, telling friends about the Hamilton soundtrack being re-released in spatial audio

What the actual? The notification takes you to the iCloud Backup section of settings to make sure you’re backed up before you switch to a new iPad?!

I have not purchased a new iPad, do not intend to, nor do I need to, this one is months old.

I know that ultimately this is a tech error inside Apple, but damn you’re looking creepy Apple.

“The measure of a commercially successful newspaper is not simply how well it reports the big events, but what it does when there are no dying statesmen, bloodthirsty desperadoes, or heinous crimes to write about. Hearst succeeded in New York not only because he knew how to report the big stories, but because he was a master at constructing news from nothing.”

From The Chief: The Life of William Randolph Hearst, via David Perell’s email.

David goes on to say,

“Newspapers aren’t any shorter on a slow news day. People need to stay busy. Advertisements still need to be fulfilled. The revenue needs to keep rolling in.

To that end, the biggest source of bias in the media industry isn’t the perspective a newspaper takes on a story, but its decision to report on a story in the first place. Knowing that, Hearst was a master at taking inconsequential stories and turning them into must-reads. He knew that events only become news once journalists and editors commit to publicizing them.

Are things any different today?”

Avis Car Rental brings “car as a subscription” to Australia.

Have you ever wondered who coined the term “Content is King”? The year was 1996, and Bill Gates published an essay.

Apple Prediction in October 2021: the Apple Music Voice/Siri plan lasts no more than two years.

Going down market never looks good on Apple. “Here’s a cheaper crappier version of our thing if money’s really important to you, whatever, we don’t care”.

The year is 2061, @Anthony_Wiggle with a long grey beard is sitting on a large wooden throne in Wiggle Town making an announcement of a new Wiggle coming & an old Wiggle leaving; people in virtual reality are booing and slapping the elderly Wiggle, screaming for good ol days.

I’ve just finished the seven episode podcast, 9/12, which tells the story of a post 9/11 America, and crescendoes to a beautiful finale. It’s a valuable story to engage with, not just what happened on 11 September 2001, but how the world responded, and why we “never forget”.

Sunday was a doozy. Over the past few months we’ve shared photos on social media from trips when travel was allowed and legal, in a time when it wasn’t allowed. So the Queensland Police received an anonymous tip to Crimestoppers, and that was the start of the day. Luckily I keep great photo and travel records and we didn’t actually breach travel restrictions. So thanks, anonymous.

To end the day last night’s groom got aggressive and threatening because as his wedding celebrant, MC, DJ, I played songs not on his playlist, as he called it “my standard list”. My music selection had people dancing. I guess he wanted his wedding to be a show of his music taste instead of the red flag he kept on waving: “it’s her day.”

If you’re ever curious why late night activities that include drinking alcohol are more expensive, it’s because life’s too short to deal with irrational drunk people.

Ben Shepherd is asked a question that I think about often:

“If you were to start a media company right now, what would it look like?”

And he shares his insightful answer (that I really liked) on his Substack: The Commercial Experience

“I find it hard to understand in my mind what it means to love you after you are dead — but I still want to comfort and take care of you — and I want you to love me and care for me.”

I adore you sweetheart - by Shaun Usher - Letters of Note

“The human race is likely to be wiped out by a doomsday virus before this millennium is out unless it starts to colonize space, top British scientist Stephen Hawking warned on Tuesday.”

Stephen Hawking, 15 October 2001

“We are born with only one obligation – to be completely who we are.”

– Mark Nepo

Turns out that in 2005 I was the 312th person to register for an account on the new website, Reddit, and today I’m one of 30 of that 312 still registered users.

This is what old age looks like.

In 2055 I’ll be interviewed on 60 Minutes for the 50th anniversary of Reddit.

I’m that insecure the password to my heart is my first daughter’s first name, capital first letter, followed by the number 1 and an exclamation mark.

Please tell me there are more than 30 people that have been on Reddit for more than 16 years?! I

Hey, I don’t like to discuss medical freedoms on here, but what is Apple TV+’s insistence on viewers watching the show’s credits to the end? Every other streamer shows the “watch next” selection straight away.

“The best business ideas have yet to be tried. The best books have yet to be written. The best relationships have yet to be formed.

It’s not too late. The space of possibilities is endless. The most interesting terrain remains unexplored.”

– James Clear

Your top 20 songs by plays says a lot about who you are

“We are a revolutionary cloud-based website” says this guy selling virtual staging to real estate agents.

Why does everything in sales have to be dodgy and buzzwordy.

Are humans not capable of being sold to without bullshit?

Hey nerds, I was not aware of how nerdy we are. Someone in my Certificate IV in Real Estate class right now just asked the trainer “how many people do you think are moving to smartphones”.

Lodge

Brisbane as the clouds subsided today at sunset

JQ940

I auditioned to join the Kyle & Jackie O show in 2011 & was flown to Sydney. In the interview the EP asked if it was ok for Kyle to call me a c**t, so him defending Denis Handlin isn’t surprising. I was ok with ‘the name’ but quit radio soon after cause life’s too short.

I was so excited for the gig and remember walking away thinking that if that was the top of the ladder, I didn’t want to climb the ladder anymore.

Buying a property soon? I’m hearing some crazy stats about meth and what it means for your personal health if you live in a house where meth has been used. The trainer is recommending people sign contracts under condition of not only building and pest, but now, also meth.

Over the last 18 months of the spicy cough tearing apart the wedding and events industry, confidence has never been lower.

So I’m in a classroom today studying for a Cert IV in Real Estate.

🌵

For the first time in history, Robert Palmer’s Simply Irresistible has been followed in a playlist by Feel Good Inc from the Gorillaz. Attending this real estate course this week has been a wild ride of experiencing the trainer’s playlist tastes.

My greatest fear, as recognised in 1947 by ad-man, Bill Bernbach:

“I’m worried that we’re going to worship techniques instead of substance.”

If there was a vaccine for “sameness, a mental weariness, a mediocrity of ideas” I’d be first in line.

Bond Can’t Take On Beijing

“No major Hollywood release has portrayed China’s government in a negative light since 1997’s Seven Years in Tibet, as analyst Matt Schrader has shown.”

QR898 B777 8 Oct 2021

Dear, tonight’s hotel, two things.

Firstly, thank you for taking some of the covidsafe precautions.

Secondly, 75 emails?!

Can you recommend a relationship manager/app that’s very iOS/iPadOS/Mac/internet native.

In particular, it’d be super cool if a contact was in the CRM and when they called, Phone.app would display the name because it integrated with the CallKit Call Directory app extension.

I’m still really proud of this photo. It was my first photo that “went somewhere” … it was printed on the side of a Queensland Rail Citytrain. Taken from what is now @hotagc.

Three years ago I pontificated that the future of the iPhone was the Apple Watch, @markgurman lent that way today in his Power On email … should’ve put some cash down on it

I’m in training all week this week and it’s fascinating to be reminded that not everyone is all in on the Apple ecosystem. 20+ people, me and 2 others on Apple.

You are not an aspirant. You are as complete as you can be today. None of us are finished. All of us are aspiring, so none of us are.

A Primer on the Parasocial Economy - Cybernaut

“One aspect of the creator economy I’ve found curiously under-explored is precisely why fans pay their favorite creators; both indirectly in attention”

Revenue generating idea for Facebook: I will pay lots of dollars a month, maybe even $3, for any of your apps to never show me a red dot or notification ever again.

Honestly, if you saw Nate become (redacted) in the season two finale of Ted Lasso you’re officially smarter than me.

Luna just found out that polar bears and dogs can be friends and it’s like that scene in Ted Lasso when the billionaire tells Banksy and Sam that they both just met a cool person.

I’ve been on the job hunt for a while now and I’m open to new roles that might benefit from a set of skills someone like me has. Here’s my resume … I figure that if you follow me here you might have insight into who I am and maybe that’s helpful?

Fairlane

Thanks

Ever since they named me Person of the Year 2006 I knew that this Time magazine thing might go somewhere

Why You Should Stop Reading News

“We spend hours consuming news because we want to be informed. The problem is news doesn’t make us informed. In fact, the more news we consume the more misinformed we become.

Continue reading…

“The more you create, the more powerful you become. The more you consume, the more powerful others become.”

– James Clear

There are two ways of making a living. The familiar, predictable way, and a Pareto style payoff.

“This Pareto world is extremely competitive, random, and highly unpredictable.”

Tyre shop guy: we’ve got tyres in that size from brand blah blah we’ve got the bluh bluhs and from brand ughh we have their gobble gobbles and the crapshoots.

Me: I’ll take the whatsamacallits from whosiewhatsit, because trust me, I know a lot about tyres.

“Either we are the makers of our future or we’re the victims. And if we don’t understand these fundamental components of how the world works, our actions may undermine our goals as well as the people around us.”

Tools for modern citizens by Seth Godin

There needs to be some sort of 1300 Hotline situation for people whose partners and families are antivaxxers. They are dealing with so much bullshit it’s like fighting a bushfire. We need pamphlets people!

This website is doing god’s work canyonmid.com … please enjoy

“There is always more surface to a shattered object than a whole.”

Djuna Barnes to Emily Coleman, 1960, The Book of Repulsive Women and Other Poems.

If you’re wondering what it looks like when you take your wife’s keys and they’re on the Find My Network …

I would pay at least $5, maybe even $6, to be able to log in to my old ICQ account (49739400), IRC servers, or my old MSN Messenger account, and scroll through those awkward chat logs. I’m barely confident today. Back then I was a hot mess.

Why is it called a podcast? I love that the iPod hackers paved the way. Thanks @podnews for compiling everything together,

Deconstructing Christianity

Deconstructing your Christianity. A few links for friends.

Four episodes of The Naked Church podcast, episodes eight, nine, ten, and eleven.

The Irresistible Revolution by Shane Claiborne started ruining everything for me over a decade ago.

The Universal Christ, by Richard Rohr.

Finding God in the Waves, by Mike McHargue.

Rob Bell’s Everything is Spiritual.

Love Matters More by Jared Byas.

Comedy Sex God by Pete Holmes plus everything Pete Holmes has ever done including the TV show, Crashing, which is amazing.

And finally, The Liturgists podcast, which went full deconstruction years ago and came around again. Listen to it all, it’s a wild ride.

Deconstructing and rebuilding your faith is an interesting journey, and the best is yet to come.

The Mind Body Prescription is blowing my mind. About to read the book and become “that guy”.

20 years ago in Australian tech news, Australian composers, Nigel Helyer, aka Dr Sonique, and Jon Drummond, copyright every possible phone number as a touch-tone tune. As reported in The Age at the time.

I’m no saint, but whenever I get a scam call I’ll lead them on for as long as I can just to annoy the scammer and to waste their time. I also ask them if they tell their mother what they do for work, that’s usually when they hang up. Making the world better one call at a time

Ten years on we’re all still bitching about iPhone launches, still looking for that 2007 iPhone feeling

Goldie, there’s nothing silver about her.

Everything will be hacked, today it’s roaming text messages for the last few years

A quick Google search would say that Australia’s Optus, Telstra, and Vodafone are clients: Company That Routes Billions of Text Messages Quietly Says It Was Hacked

“whoever hacked Syniverse could have had access to metadata such as length and cost, caller and receiver’s numbers, the location of the parties in the call, as well as the content of SMS text messages.”

“Take the money and run” is the title of a blank canvas currently being exhibited that cost the museum $84,000 because the artist took the money, and ran

Harris Farm: Due to Covid-19 please do not touch the fish. Everyone: Due to everything ever please do not touch the fish until you’re buying it: and

The final words of a newspaper man with 8 decades of published words

“Editing the final details of one’s life is like editing a story for the final time. It’s the last shot an editor has at making corrections, the last rewrite before the roll of the presses …

It’s more painful than I anticipated to throw away files and paperwork that seemed critical to my survival just two weeks ago, and today, are all trash …

I just wish I could stay a little longer.”

Jack Thomas in the Boston Globe - Archived on archive.is

This podcast episode by Rob Bell really helped me understand the antivaxx movement.

Palaszczuk, Berejiklian, quarantine. Words I still need to Google to make sure I’ve spelt them right. That will be my Covid legacy.

My top played songs … a peek into who I am

For no real reason, here’s the top three lunch-time radio station boardroom performances from my time on commercial radio.

  1. Hanson - Mmmm Bop
  2. Russel Morris - The Real Thing
  3. Pete Murray - Beautiful

In the name of efficiency, why don’t we turn our Australian corruption bodies to finding politicians that aren’t corrupt and are without sin.

We could make it a game.

Australia’s Next Top Model Citizen.

My internet speed in 2021

Blogging this so that somewhere in my internet history is a record of a time when I was really impressed that for multiple days in a row I actually got broadband speeds close to what was being sold: 1000/50.

I hope that in 20 years when I read this it will be a laughable joke that such pitiful speeds were the best you could get in 2021 on former Telstra HFC (Hybrid fiber-coaxial).

My bet for today is that after yesterday being teased for not locking Southeast Queensland down because of the NRL Grand Final, Mumma Palaszczuk grounds us for a week with no TV privileges or something plus we have to mow the Outback.

The year is 2061 and your local “Golden Oldies" radio station is playing Limp Bizkit and honestly, I am here for it.

But for 2021, Wall Of Sound + Browny report on the latest Bizkit.

Wedding planning red flag: when the wedding venue/vendor refers to clients as “brides” instead of couples. Run for the hills.

Hey, just some personal news: if the rest of you could completely align with my values and not say anything asynchronous to them, that would make my existence so much easier. Please delete all internets that aren’t totally aligned with my biases.

[Happy 10th birthday @patrickc + Stripe](https://twitter.com/patrickc/status/1443289393695911938?s=21), about six and a half years ago we took the bold step to take credit card payments through our website, bold because almost no-one was doing it in the wedding industry. It worked out well.

Aside from making the world’s best weddings, I’m also the 3rd best photographer in my home, so I’ve decided to make the not-so-radical call & launch a print store.

Do me a solid & buy a print so that I can convince Britt that buying a DJI Mavic Pro 3 is worth it.

I’m becoming increasingly good at avoiding death by truck

Not so gold, Coast

My social media notifications are busy because I dare wade into anti-antivaxx conversations with “let’s not be dicks to anitvaxxers" types of statements, and honestly, I’m probably ok with dying on this hill. Burn me at the stake for employing empathy please.

Law & Order Season 21, episode 1, opening scene: A restaurant in Chinatown and a CGI Detective Lennie Briscoe is checking vaccine passports on people’s phones. This continues for the entire episode.

I’m just saying, if Sharon the team psychologist, and Coach Ted Lasso don’t end up together romantically, I’m burning my AFC Richmond jersey in a symbolic disappointment ceremony that will be live-streamed on Bantr.

Some personal news, I’ve been photographing and filming construction projects for Zero 9 Construction and I’m getting addicted.

“The page loads, and a little video ad box rises from the bottom left of the screen and begins buffering. Then a big box pops up over the small one with an offer to subscribe to the paper at a special promotional rate. As you contemplate it, the video begins to play in a muted spasm. This throws a scrim of gray over the rest of the page, making it impossible to read.

Before you can deal with any of this, you’ll need to close this subscription box. You can achieve this by clicking either a tiny “x” or a passive-aggressive statement like “No, I don’t want great articles.” But while you’ve been triaging a second small video player has floated up into the middle left of the screen. A sedan silently snakes along a road hewn into a mountain and forces itself into your consciousness. It switches to a video of the Mets’ new manager, which you do not really want. Also, you now have to close a new rectangular ad at the bottom of the screen, advertising the same subscription offer as the first pop-up box.”

David Roth

“Life should be a marvel, not a habit.”

Damn, I’ve only got Diners Card.

The memo between advertising agency DDB and Avis Rent A Car that took Avis from a $3.2 million loss to a $1.2 million profit within the year.

Splash

The best watch face in WatchOS 8 is the Portraits face because it looks really cool with this photo of Goldie. The worst watch face in WatchOS 8 is the Portraits face because it doesn’t actually tell the time, which is its only job really.

Doing my part for the Gold Coast rumour mill today by creating and sharing this

Have you noticed a rise in Facebook posts asking questions?

Luna // under the bed // showing off her “baby belly”

If you’re interested in taking better photos, this is a great starting piece to read and be inspired by.

Author Anne Lamott on imperfection:

“Almost everyone is screwed up, broken, clingy, scared, and yet designed for joy. Even (or especially) people who seem to have it more or less together are more like the rest of us than you would believe. I try not to compare my insides to their outsides, because this makes me much worse than I already am, and if I get to know them, they turn out to have plenty of irritability and shadow of their own. Besides, those few people who aren’t a mess are probably good for about twenty minutes of dinner conversation.

This is good news, that almost everyone is petty, narcissistic, secretly insecure, and in it for themselves, because a few of the funny ones may actually long to be friends with you and me. They can be real with us, the greatest relief. As we develop love, appreciation, and forgiveness for others over time, we may accidentally develop those things toward ourselves, too.”

Not-so-main distribution frame

Burleigh Heads: a bin chicken story

Aviation nerd win: I heard a plane landing over my house, thought, it’s stop big to be a B737 or A320 as would be normal into OOL, too loud to be a B787, is it an A330. Yes it is.

Welcome to my Ted Talk.

I hope all the computerised facial recognition systems around the world are freaking out over face masks. I wonder if the facial recognition companies are the ones pushing anti-mask propaganda?

Bridal table > guest tables > the kids table > the wedding vendor’s table

Me: time to edit this video Siri: this could go one of two ways

Why haven’t there been more waxed/vaxxed puns? Are all of you in Big Pun’s pockets? Are you just anti-waxxers?

Negative 5G

Mt Coonowrin + Mt Beerwah, from Mt Ngungun

Mt Ngungun at sunset yesterday for an elopement

Hut rules

Otto von Bismarck said “Politics is the art of the possible, the attainable — the art of the next best” … I wonder if the Victorian government is willing and able to find the possible, the attainable, in the middle of the whole situation in Melbourne?

“We’ll never go to war”

When one of the Ted Lasso writers is a comedian and a parent

Social media: mentally toxic. Social proximity: physically toxic. Being alone: emotionally toxic. Mainstream media: intellectually toxic.

We’re all going to need a bit of a detox after this. Whatever this is and however or whenever it ends.

Found my six month old sucking on my thong (flip flop). My father of the year trophy is now in question.

If there’s a real silver lining to Covid, it’s the resurgence of roadmaps. Apps like @googlemaps and satellite navigation were putting the final nails in roadmap’s coffin, but thanks to the pandemic, they’re back! #longlivetheroadmap

Global platitude supplies are reaching an all time low. At this rate we’ll be completely out of platitudes by Christmas 2021.

My favourite people are the people who look at protestors and see hurting people.

Instagram 2011: Let’s make that shitty iPhone photo look acceptable.

Instagram 2021: Girls dancing whilst hard truths appear on screen in captions that aren’t related to the song or the dance.

Hey, I was wondering if any tech bloggers were up to the task of telling me which iPhone I should buy, or not buy, or whatever, today?

So disappointing, we were only three submarines away from unlocking our own Statue of Liberty achievement for Rundle Mall.

Malls Balls 4eva.

Shit. I just ate my toddler’s entire supply of sultanas. I’m going to need a new passport with a new identity. Can any of you take me in?

Global misinformation study: The best fact-checking tries to anticipate questions that audiences have, she said, which is why she recommends explainers that address audience questions

“As it is with things that are mysterious, things that we consider enigmatic, we tend to fill in the void using the information that we already have. Things like assumptions, beliefs, and biases come into play. And we know that if these things go unchecked, then they end up going viral.”

Nieman Lab

Go be amazing

There’s something about bolting 35 year old lens onto a brand new image sensor that feels cool

I think the wedding industry is changing. My first 2023 wedding booking is for a lunchtime wedding on a Monday in May.

The mighty bin chicken

I ❤️ Russel #swell2021

The tech press’ obsession with Ming-chi Kuo and Mark Gurman took a hit today as Apple leant into the idea of annual incremental upgrades while Kuo and Gurman have been talking a big game. We love a good rumour though.

Merry king of the bush is he

The Gothamist: Why We United After 9/11—But Less So For COVID?

“Unity needs division”

Do you ever wonder whether we miss the old school prejudices so much that we’re actually kinda excited about vaccinism because it’s like a cool and popular prejudice that won’t get us cancelled?

I don’t wonder that of course.

Please don’t cancel me.

“If my hands are fully occupied in holding on to something, I can neither give nor receive.”

– Dorothee Sölle

“With its stock characters, punch-lines, reversals and running gags, ancient humour worked in much the same way as its modern counterpart.”

What the Romans found funny

Are conspiracy theories/anti-vaxxers, a personal problem or a social problem? The Boston Review suggests they are a social problem.

“Debunking is a distraction. Instead, we should address the dearth of political vision on which conspiracism feeds.”

ok wow… unfollowing now. was a big fan of their music but i was not aware they were using it because their happiness was slowly creeping back now you’re at home.

Well, the more you know #foofighters

Triggered!

“In a 2020 study in the journal Clinical Psychological Science, researchers found that trigger warnings also encouraged people to view trauma as an essential part of their personhood, a belief which correlates with increased symptom severity and poorer overall mental health outcomes”

Gawker

Triggered!

“In a 2020 study in the journal Clinical Psychological Science, researchers found that trigger warnings also encouraged people to view trauma as an essential part of their personhood, a belief which correlates with increased symptom severity and poorer overall mental health outcomes”

Gawker

SimCity and car parks just don't get along

While you were making those measurements of different real-world cities, did you discover any surprising patterns or spatial relationships? Yes, definitely. I think the biggest one was the parking lots. When I started measuring out our local grocery store, which I don’t think of as being that big, I was blown away by how much more space was parking lot rather than actual store. That was kind of a problem, because we were originally just going to model real cities, but we quickly realized there were way too many parking lots in the real world and that our game was going to be really boring if it was proportional in terms of parking lots.

The Philosophy of SimCity: An Interview With the Game’s Lead Designer

I’m proud to announce that our lawns are mowed, gardens are tidy, and we’ve cleaned our house, so we’re now accepting visitors until our toddler comes home from kindy.

When we asked an algorithm to decide humour we should’ve known that income inequality was going to be deemed hilarious soon

Are you that rich that you’re not immediately aware of your net worth? There’s an app for that.

RU Even Aware Of What OK Looks Like Anymore?

I think aliens visited Burleigh Beach today and left a message. Can anyone help decipher this?

You bloody fool

– Australian duck

Heads up, tomorrow is RUOK Day, so make sure you are prepared to pretend to have your shit together for a day.

Swell is back, 1.8km from the border

Have you ever considered that we’re all just flying around the universe on a big rock making shit up and taking made-up currencies off each other for the pleasure of making shit up for each other?

If you’ve ever read my shit and thought “it’s a crime that I’m getting this for free” then here’s a chance to pay for it.

Tomorrow, any of you who subscribe to @decryption’s $5 a month Sizzle email will receive the crumbs off my table.

A+ nerdy, techie, crumbs, xoxo.

For nine years I’ve been lucky enough to call you my wife, Britt.

In my vows I said “we’ll write a beautiful story together” and boy is that true.

Happy anniversary, Snow x

And thanks Molk for ignoring any of that unplugged ceremony nonsense and filming our first kiss.

Sunrise from Tallebudgera Creek this morning

Instead of labelling antivaxxers or vaccine-hesitant people as stupid etc, could we consider how we as a society have contributed to the rapid distrust of elected officials and pharmaceutical companies?

I’m married to a vaccine hesitant person and she’s not stupid. But she finds valid and real reason to distrust the choir of voices singing the “just get vaccinated, ya know” song.

Honestly, she brings more reading material, albeit embroiled in conjecture, than the “hey idiots, blindly believe the govt and just get vaxxed” crowd.

I’m tired.

Welcome to my TED Talk.

I’ve finally come to the realisation that the wedding industry can’t provide for my family for the near future, so I’m taking on small business clients to tell their story. Recorded and produced my first piece of content this morning!

Something no-one really tells you about adulthood is that it’s mostly just waiting.

Going, going, goonnneeee

Ten years ago today Sea FM Gold Coast fired it's drive and night radio shows

Ten years ago tonight, September 2nd 2010, the 90.9 Sea FM Gold Coast studios created a local afternoon and evening show for the last time.

This story means little to most Australian radio listeners, but there used to be so many more people employed in the creation of radio. In 2010/2011 that number dropped significantly as radio networks merged, like Macquarie Regional Radio with Austereo did and RG Capital with DMG Radio before it. In the last decade the number of people engaged in the creation of local radio would have reduced to be a fraction of what it was in 2003 when I started in the industry.

I feel like columns like this generally provide a slanted view of it being good or bad, but I truly don’t know. It isn’t like The Benchwarmers were creating radio that mattered, or that the Big Kahuna was making radio that changed people. We were just a bunch of humans being paid to have fun for your enjoyment. We loved it, you loved it, advertisers loved it, we got paid.

Through Covid people who “have fun for your enjoyment” have suffered through the absence of live shows and events, and I wonder if we will ever know the true loss we’d be left with if we keep on minimising the number of people who have fun for our enjoyment.

I hope we can always find a business model for fun. Traditionally fun was paid for by advertisers, but in 2021 we as a society feel less comfortable with that business model, but the only other one is one where we the consumer pay up.

Photo of me in a radio studio over a decade ago having fun.

“When you’re young, you look at television and think - There’s a conspiracy. The networks have conspired to dumb us down. But when you get a little older, you realise that’s not true. The networks are in business to give people exactly what they want. That’s a far more depressing thought.” - Steve Jobs

Spring’s first sun has sprung

Even the Illuminati has to deal with the hell that is Gmail’s Promotional folder.

x% of all sales go to a good cause. The remainder goes to me, a not-good cause.

Channel 4’s tribute and favourite moments YouTube clips in remembrance of Sean Lock are solid gold.

Choices

Kesha, the artist, is a prophet: Her ’09 debut single Tik Tok turns out to be quite the business plan for the 2016 social network bearing the same name. 2010’s Blah Blah Blah describes, well, it describes everything. 2017’s collab with Macklemore, Good Old Days? Enough said.

🛹

In the last 18 months, how have QR codes taken off but Touch-Free Copper Keys not? I feel like 2020 was the Copper Key’s year but the key missed it.

An ode and a farewell to my Apple iMac G4

Today I said goodbye to my prized and precious, the oldest and longest owned computer I’ve ever had the privilege of caring for, my Apple iMac G4.

It might not be the ideal computer for modern work, but I haven’t seen, nor owned, a more beautiful computer yet. I’ve used faster, more helpful, more able computers. But none that have been so simply beautiful, to the eye, and to the touch.

20 years on, never serviced or repaired, it still boots, the PowerPC CPU still computes, the hard drive still works, in-fasct all of the components still work. The optical drive, ethernet ports, all the USB ports still work, along with the USB tech accepting brand new USB keyboards, mice, and touchpads.

Who would of imagined that an almost 20 year old computer would mostly work today?

The only real negative impact 2021 had on this computer was browsing the modern web, the main problem being SSL.

If I was a wiser and richer man, I’d keep her in pristine condition and in a box, ready to take out and show my grandkids in 30 years, alas, I have not the time or the space, so instead I’ll leave them this 2021 blog post about a 2002 computer released in the aftermath of the Y2K bug, the Dot-Com Boom, and the fall of the Twin Towers.

A computer that was not matched in style for at least 20 years.

On in-person education:

“The Nobel laureate economist Friedrich Hayek had a phrase for the kind of awareness it’s hard to capture in metrics and maps: the ‘knowledge of the particular circumstances of time and place’.”

from “How to Make the World Add Up” by Tim Harford

record scratch yup, that’s me, catching a ride out to attempt a drone rescue after a bird attacked it and sunk it into the Gold Coast Broadwater

Number 2

Highline // Palm Beach

The wedding industry is weird, it’s one of the few workplaces where you’re encouraged to make your clients cry,

☕️ Merlo

The Calile

“In times of change, learners inherit the earth, while the learned find themselves beautifully equipped to deal with a world that no longer exists.” - Eric Hoffer

39 images, all glued together with digital sticky tape 🌳

As a native speaker of Strayan’ English, I feel like our own whistled language has been ignored by the Smithsonian Magazine here. The great Australian wolf whistle is a complex piece of kit.

Ira Glass on loving the gap

“Nobody tells this to people who are beginners, I wish someone told me. All of us who do creative work, we get into it because we have good taste. But there is this gap. For the first couple years you make stuff, it’s just not that good. It’s trying to be good, it has potential, but it’s not. But your taste, the thing that got you into the game, is still killer. And your taste is why your work disappoints you. A lot of people never get past this phase, they quit. Most people I know who do interesting, creative work went through years of this. We know our work doesn’t have this special thing that we want it to have. We all go through this. And if you are just starting out or you are still in this phase, you gotta know its normal and the most important thing you can do is do a lot of work. Put yourself on a deadline so that every week you will finish one story. It is only by going through a volume of work that you will close that gap, and your work will be as good as your ambitions. And I took longer to figure out how to do this than anyone I’ve ever met. It’s gonna take awhile. It’s normal to take awhile. You’ve just gotta fight your way through.”

― Ira Glass

🚙

🐮

Secret beach

A weak link in Microsoft's Power Apps portal service has exposed 38 million personal records. Great.

”More than a thousand web apps mistakenly exposed 38 million records on the open internet, including data from a number of Covid-19 contact tracing platforms, vaccination sign-ups, job application portals, and employee databases. The data included a range of sensitive information, from people’s phone numbers and home addresses to social security numbers and Covid-19 vaccination status.”

Wired

“…there is no ladder of intelligence. Intelligence is not a single dimension. It is a complex of many types and modes of cognition, each one a continuum. … we have no measurement, no single metric for that intelligence. Instead we have many different metrics for many different types of cognition.”

“A squirrel can remember the exact location of several thousand acorns for years, a feat that blows human minds away. So in that one type of cognition, squirrels exceed humans.”

Australia’s Channel Seven’s The Morning Show, explaining how Apple’s The Morning Show is called Morning Wars in Australia: “lawyers”

Happy third PM anniversary, Scott Morrison

🌺

🌊

Sunshine Beach

The worlds greatest scientists: do you think we can combine PPE and speed dealer sunglasses?

Other scientists: no, it’s impossible

World’s greatest scientists: mission accepted

New moon Sunday

A lot of people who don’t live in a border region posting big words regarding the protest from those living in border regions today. I live 1km inside the Queensland border to NSW and if you cared, I can tell stories for days of people who are affected, you’d be speechless.

” I worry about a world in which many people will believe anything, but I worry far more about one in which people believe nothing beyond their own preconceptions."

Currently reading “How to Make the World Add Up: Ten Rules for Thinking Differently About Numbers” by Tim Harford

The protested-against take issue with the protestors, who aren’t in lockdown, and are allowed to meet and peacefully protest. Cool story, Nazi Queensland.

🏖

Well guys, I think that just about wraps up our first dress rehearsal for humanity. Let’s come back tomorrow and start a fresh and try and do it properly then.

BREAKING: Netflix Secures Exclusive Broadcast Rights To NSW Premier’s 11am Press Conference

“The Premier’s 11am press briefing is literally the only thing people watch on free to air these days except the Olympics and maybe State of Origin football.”

🚲

🌙 Luna

🎢

Ok, real talk, in Paw Patrol, why does Ryder, a human, get a Jetpack, but the pups have to drive or fly with their paws? Also, why don’t they deploy all pups to all jobs? Through each episode they all eventually get called out. It’s just inefficient patrolling.

🐬

Spammer has given me the name of my next podcast, “Voice Massage”

Come on Australia, we can do this, just keep on posting about Covid and we’ll solve it once we reach heard immunity.

“Unravel from toxic individualism. You do nothing by yourself. Your whole life is a collaboration.”

– @TheNapMinistry

Phone call starts with a recorded Australian accent speaking “This call is from National Crime Authority, the legal department of Services Australia” and I’m probably one spam phone call away from never answering a call again.

Hometown

Magnetic Island

Proposal for a name for a new Gold Coast region: SoTal.

“South of Tallebudgera”

It encompasses Palm Beach, Currumbin, Tugun, and Coolangatta, along with the Currumbin and Tallebudgera valleys.

In a sentence: “no, I can’t meet you in Burleigh for drinks, I don’t leave SoTal.”

🐄

Sunday

Real talk, it’s been 17 months today since the first restrictions on what I call, the Australian Beforetime. Since then our every day has simply been different.

How long until we all collectively lose our minds?

I keep on seeing signs of the dam wall breaking.

Hey, does anyone know how Sia feels about cheap thrills?

#shotoniphone

Hey, if masks are going to be a thing, could we at least use them to remind me who you are and how I know you?

The most ignorant thing I read these days isn’t from conspiracy theorists or anti-vaxxers.

It’s the phrase “believe in science.” As if science is a belief, a faith, or religion.

Science is a pursuit, an experiment, an adventure. I love science. It requires not, my belief.

For most Australians, before March 2020 we’d never identifed as a Queenslander or a West Australian, outside of the odd game of sport, or in a fleeting moment of pride.

We identified as Australian.

Will the new Covid-lead state-based patriotism continue after Covid?

A few hours on Magnetic Island, Queensland

🧲 Island

Thursday morning // Brisbane

Whatchulookinat

Yo

Alright, real talk, how far from an airport can you be and still call yourself an airport hotel?

Everyone has their little covid skill they’ve learned. Some of you might have sourdough, or knitting. I have the ability to clearly and concisely respond to emails from the Office of Fair Trading in under 6 hours.

On ABC radio this morning I predicted that the cost of weddings will rise post-covid because the wedding industry has been one of the hardest hit by Covid and received the least amount of support, financial, or political.

I haven’t got a job because of a resume in over 18 years (thanks Ali and Sea FM Mackay!) but I made one today because I think the pandemic has fired me from being self-employed ¯_(ツ)_/¯

When consumed moderately, whisky’s many medicinal benefits include preventing the “head from whirling, the tongue from lisping… the hands from shivering, the bones from aching.”

— Sixteenth-century English chronicler Raphael Holinshed

As the Gold Coast left lockdown today

Follow-up to

I’ve been extraordinarily blessed to have so many phone calls, messages, offers of help regarding my recent post, I’m not ok.

I wanted to offer a few follow-up remarks:

  1. Donations: Some of the world’s most generous people have made offers of finance to us. I won’t say no, that’s rude, but I also am not asking. We’re provided for today, and luckily we have things to sell.
  2. Getting a new job: I have very mixed feelings about this. One one hand, I’m a really good celebrant, and people like what I create, and I’ve been blessed to create weddings around the globe, literally from Iceland to New Zealand and everywhere in between, and I really enjoy(ed) celebrancy before March 2020. On the other hand I have a responsibility to provide for myself and my family, and if one job isn’t available, get a new job. I’m honestly open to job offers for those who know my background and skills, the problem is that I have a large backlog of weddings and elopements that have to get done some day, and that would seemingly be a large burden to a new employer, to have me having random days off.
  3. My mental health: I think I’m ok mostly in that regard. I know that the last 17 months have been traumatic and left me scarred, but I’m not sitting here thinking bad thoughts. That said, I could do with seeing someone, I just don’t want to see the kind of psychologists I’ve seen in the past who seem quite clinical and have great breathing techniques - they’re fine - but I know how to breath now. I don’t know who I need to see, or if I can afford that, but if you know, let me know.
  4. Gratitude: A former colleague from when I was on breakfast radio, was kind enough and generous enough to lend me his ear over the phone recently, but he had a hidden and kind motive, to introduce me to The Resilience Project, so I’m working my way through that idea and working on a gratitude journal, and trying to get into that headspace. It’s not natural to me, but I’m getting there. Thanks Mat, you’ve always been so good to me.
  5. Further gratitude: As I’ve mentioned, so many have been kind enough to share, comment, tweet, message, DM, email me. You guys are the real MVP. I wanted to share for the same reason Britt and I shared we were pregnant with Goldie before the “time” you’re supposed to tell everyone. When we lost our first baby we told everyone a few days before we found out that the pregnancy wasn’t continuing. That sucked, but it was the best situation, because our friends and family were on the journey with us. Thank you for being on the journey with us. I don’t share for pity or to ask for donations. I share because we’re all in this together, warts and all.

TL;DR:

I’m ok, but not ok, and I’d like new work, but it’s complicated, and I have skills. I should talk to someone, but I talked to Mat, and I’m grateful. Thank you.

A wedding celebrant’s Covid story: I’m not ok

I see so many of my friends, and randoms I follow on the Internet, talking about lockdown and Covid has affected them.

Stories of woe like having to takeaway instead of dine-in, holidaying in Australia instead of overseas, and some people have even been forced to share their home and their office with partners and children. Horrible stuff. And maybe for some of the unlucky ones you’ve had hours cut and some have lost jobs. It’s a tough time for all.

The average Australian online complains about things I could dream of. How I would love to just go to work today.

Over here in wedding-world, things are not looking good. The whole industry, all of us, are barely alive.

Due to the nature of the wedding industry, payment is made before the wedding, often more than a month before, sometimes many months. Which was lovely for a period there, because although we couldn’t work, at least we had money. JobKeeper brought some relief early on as well, though with mixed results, also JobKeeper wasn’t built for an industry that is in perpetual postponement. See how it ended in March?

That’s the issue with weddings compared to the entertainment and hospitality industry. Weddings are planned well in advance with very particular attendees coming from across the globe, and they are extremely intimate and personal events deeply shrouded in emotion and feeling.

You might be upset to not see a comedy or music show, but when your wedding is postponed for the second and third time you start to wonder whether the coronavirus is actually reading your wedding invitations.

Here in August 2021 I’m seeing 90% of the next three months of work being postponed to next year, and I’m getting calls from couples well into next year asking if they can postpone later. Most of these couples are on their third, fourth, and for at least one, their sixth wedding plan.

Most paid me a year or more ago. Some are just calling quits on the whole thing, demanding a refund - that I can’t afford to give - so they’re taking me to court. I’ve had over $90,000 of cancelled work across our two brands tht my wife and I manage.

The extra vector of pain for us is that for the last decade we’ve been stupid enough to build an international and interstate brand. Most of my work, almost all of my work in 2019 and 2020, was a flight away. So in rescheduling we need the couple, myself, their guests, and the state government’s to all co-ordinate. Hell.

Plus no-one in their right mind is booking a wedding today. I wouldn’t. With rolling lockdowns being announced with six hours notice on a Saturday (thanks Queensland, you lovely asses), there’s no way in hell I’d be planning to host a wedding today.

And the beautiful thing is that I can’t even take a new job today because the couples who have already contracted me for their wedding or elopement expect me to turn up next week - unless they postpone because then they expect me to turn up next year.

So what do we do?

I’m studying a Certificate IV in Real Estate so I can take a new job if there is one, we’re selling our investments, and depleting our savings. We apply for the $750 Covid disaster payment and wait for any other assistance my 24 years of taxation might be able to provide.

I guess the only main takeaway you should have is that if you’re getting married in the next few years, expect to be surprised at the cost - you’ll be paying for the covid-injuries the industry sustained.

And when events are back on, go support the legends in the arts and entertainment industries, they’re hurting like the wedding industry is.


I’ve published a follow-up here.

Recreating the After Dark screensavers in CSS is a strong, super strong, nostalgia kick. I’d pay good money for a Flying Toasters screensaver today just to steal my mind away from 2021 for a minute.

Luna Hawk Amateur Skater

Friends often ask what it’s like to cross the border from NSW into Queensland so I filmed today’s border crossing after collecting essentials from Tweed Heads icon, Bread Social (I have a permit to cross the border)

I’m studying for a Certificate IV in Real Estate at the moment, and there’s a whole section on how real estate agents can be human.

Must be a new section.

Meme, circa August 2021.

Hey Siri, please remind me of this every day

“People hate their own art because it looks like they made it. They think if they get better, it will stop looking like they made it. A better person made it. But there’s no level of skill beyond which you stop being you. You hate the most valuable thing about your art.”

Elicia Donze

“A writer—and, I believe, generally all persons—must think that whatever happens to him or her is a resource. All things have been given to us for a purpose, and an artist must feel this more intensely. All that happens to us, including our humiliations, our misfortunes, our embarrassments, all is given to us as raw material, as clay, so that we may shape our art.”

— Jorge Luis Borges

Toying with the idea of flushing my entire digital identity down the toilet for my 40th birthday later this year and starting a fresh. New phone number, email, domain, Apple ID, Google Account, blog, all new social accounts. It feels like a grand idea.

I’d pay money for an iOS upgrade that acknowledged swearing in autocorrect. I’ve never in my almost 40 years wanted to get tucked or ducked.

On paying more

“Most people try to negotiate the lowest possible price when paying for a service. That’s a mistake. Because if you “win,” you may save some money but are likely to be the lowest priority for that service provider as a result. On the flipside, if you pay a bit MORE than the typical price, you become that service provider’s highest priority. You’ll wind up getting way more value for your money.”

James Sepector’s newsletter

Please check surroundings

Good news, I finally get to leave the quarantine I never went into, but have been texted about every day for 14 days, despite calling the Victorian Dept of Health to let them know I left Victoria an hour after arriving and never even came from a hotspot and they said all good …

Failed to save a spider

James Gandolfini, aka Tony Soprano, was paid $3M by HBO to reject a $5M offer to be the new boss on The Office. We should really be paying people like @darrenhayes to not sell out our high school memories for food mountain.

Forty years ago today, August 1 in the USA, 1981, MTV launched by playing Video Killed The Radio Star.

Everybody, through this lockdown, please think of the birds

The lockdowns will continue until morale improves

You used to call me on my landline, late night when you neeeed my love

She’s my daughter

Hey Siri, are there less people believin’ these days because there are less midnight trains goin’ anywhere?

Tugun

It’s been made aware to me that some of my social media broadcasts over the last year might paint me as some sort of person, politically etc.

Please do not look to me for epidemiological advice or policy. I am a hurting man who has lost much and continues to lose more.

I’m not the one to look for on whether borders should open or close, or if you should alter your DNA to survive a pandemic.

However, if you’d like specific advice on how to not look like you’re crying in public please DM me. It’s basically about pretending you were laughing instead.

Hey, do you remember that time our Australian state and federal governments drove us all so far apart to the point of madness and hatred of those we love and even strangers we’ve never met?

Pro-vax, anti-vax, pro-lockdown, anti-lockdown, everyone’s trying to join a team, but so few people are understanding the hurt that others are feeling. Whilst you might be annoyed by wearing a masking, or other people not-wearing a mask, all whilst your income, stability, and quality of life hasn’t changed in the last year, many have lost more than they’d care to mention, or even have the words to describe.

We don’t need to be right. No-one cares if you’re right.

We need to care, we need empathy, we need consideration and understanding.

Because in 300 years when we’re all dust, no-one’s going to be telling stories about how right you were. But they’ll speak about our legacy of empathy and care.

JQ133 to Auckland this morning. I think the sun was rising as well. @jetstarairways

The @iocmedia: The winner is Brisbane!

Brisbane: Sheppard, put us down for one opening ceremony.

#Brisbane2032

The Olympics are coming home!

MSM

The Australian states in 2020/2021.

“Death is only the end if you assume the story is about you”

A year on year decrease in traffic might lead one to say that the media is incentivised to encourage Trump-like politics.

Yes

Forgive me for thinking that the Victorian government doesn’t know what is going on.

I just transited through Melbourne Airport from Tugun (Gold Coast) to Hobart.

Applying for a transit permit: fine. Getting the travel permit: you’ve been in an orange or red zone (no I haven’t) Arriving in Victoria: “let me check with my supervisor, I think we need to escort you” An hour after arriving in Hobart: You need to quarantine.

Get it together guys.

One of my favourite views is from a few thousand feet above earth at sunset

“By their fruit you will recognize them. Do people pick grapes from thornbushes, or figs from thistles?”

I hope people will recognise us by our children. That knowledge of their kindness, joy, and peace would go before them.

Transiting through Melbourne Airport this afternoon

Widgets on iPadOS 15 are glorious. A year late, but glorious.

Apple Photos thinks Britt and I had couple photos taken in Tenerife to commemorate a day Australia celebrates killing horses because we gamble on them. Algorithms are fun.

Off to court today for the third couple who had booked us for an international ceremony wedding but would now prefer a refund over a reschedule.

This pandemic is a daily nightmare for us, but hey, we’re all this together, we can do it Queensland, so things will be ok eventually.

The fun thing is trying to convince future couples that our expenses have gone up so our prices have gone up.

Fuck covid.

“For peace of mind, resign as general manager of the universe.”

– Physician, Dr. Larry Eisenberg

Curtis Falls

I’m going to start trying to make wedding photos professionally

I really enjoy making photos.

This photo is one of my favourites, it’s of an unknown hiker taking a breather at Taft Point in Yosemite National Park.

Something I’m struggled with for the longest time is that I identify as a celebrant, that’s what I do, but I really enjoy making photos of, and for, people.

If you’ve been married by me, you’ve probably received a text message after your wedding with a sneaky photo, and an apology to your photographer for cutting their grass.

That’s my modus operandi, I’m already at an epic location for a sweet wedding, and there’s another photographer there directing, creating, expressing, and I steal a shot in the background. Most are pretty cool with it, and some, like my mate James Day, have been encouraging me in it for a while now. But it’s a bit cheap of me to steal other people’s shots, the real thing to do, is to make my own.

So today when I met with a couple about making photos at their wedding I felt so excited at the prospect of a new avenue of creativity for me, and the possibility of creating meaningful and enjoyable work for you.

I don’t have a photography website, or portfolio, or packages, or prices. I’ve been a wedding celebrant for over 12 years now, and I love doing that, but somewhere along the way I’ll figure out how me making photos can be a thing I market, but for now, feel free to check out the really quick portfolio I made with Adobe today so I had something to show the couple today, at www.joshwithers.photos and if you’re willing to take a bet on a celebrant making photos at your wedding, slide on in to those DMs

I just want you all to know that I did intermittent fasting four days this week and I’m still not skinny, so it clearly doesn’t work.

thank u, next.

Sunrise at The Spit #goldcoast #sunrise

Walk like a Goldcoastian

Lockdown Effectiveness: Much More Than You Wanted To Know

“Various policies lumped together as “lockdowns” probably significantly decreased R (Josh: spread). Full-blown stay-at home orders were less important than targeted policies like school closures and banning large gatherings.”

Astral Codex Ten

There's a conspiracy theory for everyone, and hence very few people are immune

“Many dismiss conspiracy theorists as a bunch of crazy people, or a bunch of stupid people, or a bunch of crazy stupid people. Yet in many ways the belief in a conspiracy theory is as American as apple pie, and like apple pie it comes in all kinds of varieties, and all kinds of normal people like to consume it.”

‘We are all conspiracy theorists’ on Big Think

The six causes of burnout are:

  • Lack of control.
  • Lack of reward.
  • Absence of fairness.
  • Lack of community.
  • Conflict in values.
  • Work overload.

I’m burned out reading that list of things that feel like I’m reading my gravestone.

FaceTime - 6.0/iOS15/Monterey - links to join a chat are easy and beautiful, and much more elegant than a Zoom link if it’s just a simple chat. I can see them taking the place of many a meeting.

Screenshot from iPadOS 15 Photos.

Somehow Photos has figured out from location and date metadata these photos are from a ticketed event, a Foo Fighters concert. But the hero image is of Weezer opening the show, and if you tap through to the slideshow the music is Fleetwood Mac.

”The core idea behind the Metaverse proposition is to create an immersive digital place that duplicates reality without physical constraints.”

Micaela Mantegna on the metaverse.

After the pandemic I’d like to start a comedy band called Pearlmite where we sing Australian parodies of Pearl Jam songs.

Our first song: Elderly Man Behind The Wheel Of A Landcruiser In The Right Hand Lane.

Billy Joel on his farewell tour

“I’ll have created a bond between me and the audience where I know they will never pay another nickel to see me again.”

Vulture

Vale Alan James Snow

Today, Britt and I attended - remotely via live stream - the memorial service of her grandfather, Alan James Snow.

Alan’s life story is wide ranging and interesting, from his time in the NSW Police through to his large and international legacy in his family.

On the 1st of November 2013, while Alan was visiting his son in Queensland, I took the opportunity to record a podcast episode with him. I’ve always wanted to record the stories of people around us, but as often happens, time and priorities get in the way. So today, I’m proud to share this hour-long recording today with our family, and anyone else wanting to.

Click here to play.

Apple Weather in iOS 15 is still wrong in Australia

Since the moment Steve Jobs introduced us to the iPhone, Australian users have had bad weather data.

The Australian Bureau of Meteorology is the only true source of weather data in Australia, but Apple sources it’s data from Weather.com, even though it owns Dark Sky now. That said, Dark Sky’s data doesn’t seem accurate in Australia either.

But it doesn’t matter how you skin it, Apple Weather has had bad data for a long time, and it continues in iOS 15.

Here’s comparisons from three apps, Apple Weather, Carrot Westher which is sourcing its data from Willyweather which I’m guessing it licensed from the BoM, and the one true BoM app.

Apple Weather developers, if you want to source true weather data, this is a great place to start.

Take me to Iceland … or if you can’t, let’s just look at Andre’s photos

As Brisbane goes into lockdown - 6pm June 29, 2021

Brisbane for the next few days

Every day, since whenever the feature launched, my iPhone has generated a set of Featured Photos from my 27,000 odd photos in the library. Since June 22 it’s stopped.

What have I done to deserve this?!

It’s nice how things are precedented now. Remember back in 2020 when it was this whirlwind of unprecedented stuff, nowadays we hear that a state premier is warming up a new announcement and we put our cloth masks back in the washing machine ready to don again.

“Starting from zero can be a gift. If you don’t have much to begin with, you don’t have much to lose. You can be bold when you aren’t trying to protect something.”

  • James Clear

Do you ever wonder who the Ambulance calls if they’re sick?

Good news, Australia has twice as many cults as Arizona!

Who knew you could report junk spam to Apple. Where does that data go, and how does it play out?

I would literally give Apple more money to stop spam texts and spam phone calls.

If Google was serious about organising the world’s information, the Lano and Woodley episode “Mother” would be on Youtube, but here I am describing the skit to a friend instead of sharing a link.

Nostalgia – its delicate, but potent. Teddy told me that in Greek nostalgia literally means ‘the pain from an old wound.’

A Mackay sugarcane fire is my ‘pain from an old wound’.

Honestly, is there anything more Australian than dropping in to see family while you’re on a work trip and claiming it as a travel expense?

So apparently the tax department website has a queue now. Does the ATO know websites don’t have queues?

TF when Google invites you to sit at the Knights Round Table

I believe my fellow young people would call Luna a “vibe”

Felt fatherly, might delete later

I’ve decided to follow my dreams and become a nonfluencer. Please don’t follow me.

Good news: AirTag works Bad news: my bag is in a different airport to me

TF when you accidentally get the Covid-09 vaccine and only get 4G.

Remember when everyone’s method to cope with Covid was Tiger King, sourdough, and the Hamilton soundtrack?

Better times.

We, the people of Australia, have spent $6.7 million dollarydoos detaining the Murugappan family, instead of spending zero dollars and letting them earn a wage and pay tax.

We, Australians, decided this. That family, these 2 little girls, are there because we decided it was ok.

I might not amount to much in this life, so if I die and that’s the case, please put this on my gravestone.

Conspiracy theory: The spicy cough was invented by Tourism Australia to stop Aussies from holidaying abroad.

We are a nation of believers. If only Americans could begin believing in politics less fervently, realising instead that life is elsewhere. But this would come at a cost—because to believe in politics also means believing we can, and probably should, be better.

Shadi Hamid in The Atlantic

Sony AirPeak S1 … want.

Weezer’s Buddy Holly, from Windows 95 to Apple Music 2021

I first heard this song on in August 1995, discovering it on one of the Windows 95 installation CDs in the ‘Fun Stuff’ folder - left there to demonstrate the video-playing capabilities of Windows 95.

To listen to it in Dolby Atmos spatial audio today is quite a stretch from whatever low-res MPEG codec I heard in 1995.

The hotel quarantine system is obviously not working, I say we move to a motel quarantine system where we lock people in highway motels in the Australian Outback for two weeks. Nothing like Free Foxtel and packets of two biscuits with instant coffee to ward off Covid.

Parenting hack: Let your kid join other families at the playground and eat their food. It’s money in your pocket.

“Once you become informed, you start seeing complexities and shades of grey. You realise that nothing is as clear and simple as it first appears. Ultimately, knowledge is paralysing.” - Calvin, of Calvin and Hobbes, via Bill Watterson.

flicks through his bible furiously trying to find the verse about content delivery networks (CDNs) going down meaning that this is the beginning of the end times

“(A recent) audience survey showed that the word podcast is becoming linked to the word interview. So here we are.”

I can’t say who said this, or which Oz network they work for, but for the love of God an interview is not a podcast.

Can words just mean something please?

As a geriatric millennial, I feel seen

Looks like someone in ASIO has finally experienced booking a Qantas flight at the last minute.

All these years on I’m still no wiser as to what it is that the fox say.

Mare of Easttown spoiler: it was the adult female horse of Easttown.

The 2007 email that spawned Uber, Snapchat, Tiktok, Instagram, and trillions of dollars worth of other companies - via @techemails

Is this the year for editable iMessages?

What’s the secret to not getting text message spam? This phone number is my wedding celebrant number and I’ve had it for over 15 years, so I’m not in a position to change numbers or turn on Filter Unknown Senders. It’s so annoying.

It just occurred to me that I could personally profit off the Victorian lockdown, so here goes.

Please buy our beachside Gold Coast apartment at a good price, if it helps, we’ll call it CelebrantKeeper, now that JobKeeper is over but the lockdowns and travel restrictions aren’t.

Instead of calling it “the jab” what if they called it a “dad joke”? That way everyone would get it?

Police are now targeting people who lose all sense of time whilst ordering at a cafe and feel the need to share long stories with the uninterested barista.

If you’re curious how commissions and incentives shape the technology retail sector, JB HiFi at Robina doesn’t stock Apple TV units on the shelves, they’re “out the back”, because Apple’s sales incentives are less than all the other boxes which I guess make coin on tracking?

”Convincing someone to change their mind is really the process of convincing someone to change their tribe. If they abandon their beliefs, they run the risk of losing social ties. You can’t expect someone to change their mind if you take away their community too. You have to give them somewhere to go. Nobody wants their worldview torn apart if loneliness is the outcome."

– James Clear

Revved up like a deuce, another roller in the night

Strangers really underestimate how much I want to receive a phone call.

The humble Australian ritual of gender reveal via a burnout.

“The driver burned out on a secluded road on the Gold Coast. As the drone flies upwards, the car continues its burnout until it turns sideways. Then a lot of things go sideways.

– Drone DJ

Photographing a blood red supermoon, a lunar eclipse, is seemingly outside of my skillset. I made many photos and all were degrees of terrible, these two - one shot on my 25mm and the other on my 70-180mm lens - are the ones I hate the least.

Life is so busy, complex, and tiring right now, that the US government has confirmed that UFOs are a thing and everyone that finds out just shrugs and moves on.

Did you know there’s no wombat emoji? I’m calling the president.

Three fun wedding facts you probably didn’t know:

  1. I’m a pretty awesome wedding celebrant
  2. I could be your wedding celebrant
  3. why are you still reading this instead of emailing hello@joshwithers.com.au

Moses?

Sk8r grrl carving up the skate park

My top three favourite songs about meeting your newborn child:

  1. With Arms Wide Open - Creed
  2. Closing Time - Semisonic
  3. Think About Things - Daði Freyr

I just watched a retail worker wash her plastic gloved hands with hand sanitiser. Curve flattened!

TF when you think someone is going to steal your stick

The kind of rainbow that would make YouTube’s Hungrybear9562 weep with joy, a double rainbow.

Pot of coffee at Highline Palm Beach at the end of the rainbow

For the first time in many years I took what I thought was common advice and wisdom and I’ve started using Mail.app on MacOS (Big Sur on Apple Silicon MBA). Three email accounts, one with 170,000 odd emails, another with 40,000 odd, and another with about 1000 emails. Mail.app is barely useable, so slow and it takes minutes to refresh when I change mailbox. Is this just Mail.app now or am I doing it wrong? Googling isn’t helping as there are so many bland articles on speeding up Mail.app. I’ve rebuilt the mailboxes, and I’ve even done the deleting index thing. Any ideas?

Your stripper name is the first 16 digits of your credit card number, then the month the card expires, and then the year, and then the three digits on the back lol.

Australia’s Department of Defence: Defence announces Space Division

Australia: please let it be ARSE

We decided to sell our Covid-escape-beach-unit in Palm Beach on the Gold Coast. If you’re currently looking to escape to a beachside apartment, I highly recommend it.

Why is it called a wedding tax when wedding vendors decide to not undercut each other, and instead focus on being profitable and sustainable?

Why are people in small businesses so afraid of making an profit, having a day off or even a holiday? Why is sustainability and profit demonised in our society?

Wedding planning pro tip: Choose a wedding vendor team, then a date, instead of spending your whole life trying to find a team available on your date.

If you inserted a MYST CD-ROM into your computer sometime in the early 90’s and found yourself entrenched in the wonder that was MYST, then this Soundcloud is going to do something to your nostalgia.

John Mulaney getting getting divorced is the kind of celebrity news that makes me want to take the week off and empty some ice cream tubs whilst crying.

📷 Friday sunrise on the #GoldCoast

Hanging with useless nipples Withers.

Captioned by her mother who is 20 minutes away.

View out my window right now

Bitey McBiteFace

“The big money is made not by exposing the truth but by papering it over or concealing it.”

NewRepublic

Hey, bye @heyhey

Don’t forget that we’re all competing in a game where if we hit the right keys on the keyboard in the right order at the right time we win money and get donuts.

The worst thing about having an AirTag in your luggage is that instead of guessing that your luggage is about to come out, it removes any doubt that it isn’t.

Burleigh Heads on a Monday morning

If you’ve ever wondered how weird you are, if you don’t eat the deceased at their own funeral, you’re not that weird.

“In many villages, when a person died, they would be cooked and consumed. It was an act of love and grief.”

via NPR.

Who would’ve ever imagined that the BBQ-lovin Covid guy was actually trying to buy the whole chain of Barbecue’s Galore stores!?

Just say that after the traumatic 14 months behind us, we were considering selling everything and travelling Australia in a caravan with a toddler and newborn and you had prescient advice, what exactly would that advice be?

An old friend of mine from like 20 years ago has released an album and I found out because someone had a typo in their email address which landed the newsletter intended for Paul Withers' into my old Hotmail. Serendipity 2.0?

I’m dying of dystentery over this announcement.

Photos from inside my house identify as photos taken at houses down the street, from a GPS angle I understand this, but my iPhone knows my home address, and the wifi SSID I’m connected to overnight every night, surely we could bring that data together and say “if he’s on this wifi SSID, and GPS is weak or non-existent, maybe the actual photo and AirTag location is ‘home’”?

I am going to move my personal/non-wedding email account away from Hey. I don’t want to go back to GMail for privacy reasons, no to Outlook because of UX, and I don’t want to go back to Fastmail because it feels like the 90s over there. Any recommendations?

Sunrises at airports are my theme of 2021

Melbourne weather: cloudy with a chance of Josh.

If you’re curious about AirTag use through a flight whilst on inflight wifi, Find My believes that Qantas dropped my luggage from a great height somewhere over Armidale.

Someone’s been to the salon

Cows on buns

Yarra.

The valley, not the river.

The one where Pete Townshend from The Who recorded an anti-smoking song while smoking cigarettes.

I’m sitting opposite a person in the Qantas Lounge who is eating so violently. Like she’s abusing her mouth with her fork of food. I can’t help but watch and I wish you could all experience this passive aggressive treatment of a cake hole.

Mel

Four different weather reports in Lilydale, Australia. How is weather reporting still so hard?

Seeing John Gruber’s recommendation of a new weather app, Hello Weather (it’s a beautiful app, just feels a little weird that two Basecamp devs are involved, that brand name is tainted after the last week).

I noticed its primary weather data provider is Dark Sky, the now Apple-owned American-focused weather data source.

So I checked my four installed weather apps to see how they reported the current weather in my location right now (Lilydale, Victoria, Australia) and not one current temp lined up.

The first screenshot is Hello Weather sourcing from Dark Sky. The second is Carrot Weather sourcing from the Australian source, WillyWeather, which also gets data from BoM. The third screenshot is the built-in Apple Weather app sourced from the American Weather.com, and the fourth is a screenshot from the Australian government’s own official Bureau of Meteorology official app.

How is weather data so hard?

“As I reached for my Hasselblad, suddenly the Earth popped up over the horizon”

Earth Restored

Name a more important Australian institution than the Great Regional Aussie Pub. Where would these acts play if not for the local?

You probably don’t know this about me, but the main reason I’m a happily married man and wedding celebrant, and not a professional footballer is so I don’t have to explain consensual threesomes to judges

QF

Doing my part for USA and Australian relations by making a photo of a @united B787 kissing a @qantas A330

My first photography commission: Reece Bathroom Life

Pretty proud of this.

For the first time since it was built last year, I’ve witnessed my first and only commissioned photo in person, at the Reece Bathroom Life showroom in St Leonards, Sydney.

One of the staff tell me that someone was asking about it last week because their bathroom has no windows and they wanted it in their bathroom.

No-one thought that I could go from cow photographer to bathroom photographer so quickly.

🚙

Luna approves of the Sydney Qantas Business Lounge

“I’m studying to become a lawyer for my friend’s upcoming court case” said no-one ever.

So apart from “because Joey from Friends did it” why are people spending thousands of dollars and more than a year of their life becoming a celebrant instead of hiring a professional?

The only bridge climb in Australia better than the Storey Bridge Climb, of the two available

Take me hommmmeeeee, country airline

Syd

That shining glint in the Crown of capitalism

Hey, guys who decide how comfortable Uber Comfort is, it’s not a Toyota Camry

If you’re in Circular Quay this afternoon, the playlist is mine

Sarah and Michael’s awkward start to their wedding ceremony included a promo for the Gold 104.3 Christian O’Connell Breakfast Show

“This is lockdown’s near forbidden secret and terrible truth — that at the heart of grief, and midst mayhem, carnage and deep sadness, people do beautiful things.”

– Nick Cave

It was not my final destination

Important noodle information

When I grow up I’m going to run a cafe and an AirBnb, both of which have functional and high speed wifi.

School’s out at Lismore Primary

Daylesford

What did Ausnet do?!

In sad tech news, my favourite Melbourne store - Mac Addict - has shut down through 2020. I literally booked a hotel across the road so I could check it out today. Heres a 2017 review from EFTM to showcase how beautiful the store was.

Trying out the NKOTB to Melbourne today

Conspiracy theory: Hungry Jacks has never had thick shake machines. The whole idea of a shake from HJs is a ruse. They’re under the control of Big Softdrink.

“I’m only posting about @ARationalFear so @DanIlic sends me a prize pack”

Oh that burns @decryption

“Today we pay with both money and attention according to the direction of artists”

Non-Fungible Taylor Swift, on Stratechery

If you want to hate the world and Twitter at the same time paste “lang:en” in a Twitter search bar will give you live and direct access to the firehose of tweets that is the entirety of English speaking Twitter’s consciousness. I need to have a shower.

Childhood screen time and attention problems not so closely linked

A link between childhood “screen time” and attention problems has failed to replicate in this study.

We evaluated 848 models, including logistic regression as per the original paper, plus linear regression and two forms of propensity score analysis. Only 166 models (19.6%) yielded a statistically significant relationship between early TV exposure and later attention problems, with most of these employing problematic analytic choices.

The funny thing is that I know that Luna’s mood changes when she has spent time in front of the TV, she’s less co-operative and less joyful, despite really enjoying TV, and strongly desiring it at various times.

So maybe TV as a child doesn’t affect their attention, but it does affect their sensibilities, in my humble opinion as a father of two.

Can the new city of Próspera be the better world we dream of?

Is it possible to build a better world? That’s what is being attempted in Honduras. Is it full of problems? Yes. Does it look promising? Yes!

Dive deep on Astral Codex Ten’s Prospectus

“If I can’t be within driving distance of Daniel Johnson’s Monkey And Sloth Hangout, I don’t want to be a part of your revolution.”

Very very few stories are worth telling in their infancy. Most require research, understanding, context, empathy, and nuance.

For example, what if a story about girls twerking on a navy ship in front of the Governor General was held onto for a a day and some research was done?

But we as a society have decided not to invest in that research. We complain if a news website needs us to pay a subscription, and we scream about defunding the ABC if they don’t say what we want.

So we end up with an angry story that’s not entirely true, based on the premise that girls shouldn’t dance on boats.

If you think about it, aren’t we all twerking seamen on the navy ship of our lives? Thanks for getting to the end of this, I really just wanted you to consider yourself as a twerking sailor.

So, you saw a video of girls twerking on a navy ship

Just imagine if somehow, if there was some way, we all had the power to not laugh at Australian indigenous girls dancing on a navy ship.

The problem isn’t with twerking, especially considering how misleading the ABC was with the story, the problem is with our insistence on finding problems with things that really aren’t problems.

We’re so angry.

Luna’s first phone/block of wood

Toddler, living her best life, sitting in a Coles Supermarket trolley, eating tuna sushi. Circa April 2021. iPhone 12 Pro 4.2mm lens, f1.6, 1/50 sec, ISO 200. Photographer: Joshua Withers.

Google “where does vanilla flavouring come from”

I’m going to be an Icelandic pop star, what are you going to be?

The economics of COVID-19

In 2014 the Prime Minister’s Office published this report noting that the statistical value of a human life was $4.2M in 2014 terms - which is more like $4.6M today.

I wonder how this factors into the equations around covid-19 reduction measures?

Whether the measures enacted over the last year are “within the budget” or if they “over spent”?

Five years since DJI has handed down an Inspire or Phantom from on high, and three years since a Pro Mavic has been bestowed upon us. What, oh Chinese lords, what will you gift us this week?

The Blue Mountains before the sun rises are a flippin treat

This is a 13,000 word essay most Australians won’t read, or even if they click through to it, they’ll find it “a bit long”, but it’s actually important, and will deeply affect you.

Defending The Indefensible: There’s No Case For Keeping A Justice System That Fails Half The Population

“A new generation of Gen Z investors are willing to take risks to counter a deck that may be stacked against them”

The death of HODL and the rise of the moon

Top three songs to listen to on your headphones whilst walking off an airplane through an airport:

  1. Mr Brightside
  2. Lose Yourself
  3. Party in the USA

This list is final.

sunday flyday

“The reason that most of us are unhappy most of the time is that we set our goals not for the person we’re going to be when we reach them, but we set our goals for the person we are when we set them.”

— Jim Coudal

An author’s view of the next 25 years on earth, published in January 1997

Accidentally tested the water proof capabilities of the iPhone 12 Pro today. It survived a 10 minute pool swim without a hiccup.

That was quick, Find My, considering there’s no items to add or find yet

This is a powerful read: How doctors die

Wearing your mask hanging off one ear is the 2021 version of kids riding their bike with their helmet hanging on the handlebar.

“I promise you that no-one is coming for your son’s head. The data is clear, the number of false accusations that stick is negligible. If your son does not cross the line, if he doesn’t teeter on the “edge of consent”, if he doesn’t misuse his power to control or belittle others, he will be just fine. But it’s not bad behaviour we should be getting out in front of, extinguishing potential fires. We should expect more of our boys. We should be expecting good behaviour, because when it comes down to it, we all want our men to grow up feeling powerful and strong, but in their values of equality, respect and dignity.”

Zac Siedler, on the ABC

Nothing says you’re staying at a fancy hotel like naming it after Australia’s shiftiest bird then putting the word budget afterward.

It’s been a while since I’ve taken the 6am Saturday flight to Sydney for a wedding, it feels good. I feel dribs and drabs of normality returning to my life.

Person next to me in the bottle shop finally chooses a carton of cider and I say “so that’s decider” and got nothing. So now I’m telling you.

What a brave, cunning, and linguistic call for Tourism SA to make.

Gold Coast Mayor calls in Evergreen to cause our own Suez Canal incident on the M1 to stop Brisbane people going “down the coast” for Easter.

#notthebetootaadvocate

When the time comes, I will 100% support mandatory vacations, those who don’t should be forced.

You think that after the last year I’d be able to spell qarantein without using spellcheck.

Really surprised the humble salute didn’t make a comeback in 2020. It’s better than an elbow bump, and far more socially distanced, in fact the mere gesture implies that you should take a step back.

If cancel culture was real

“If cancel culture were real, Daryl Somers, who built a career and life on the back of a show where he did and said a lot of questionable things, would not feel comfortable publicly complaining about cancel culture. If cancel culture were real, Somers would not be giving an interview in a newspaper while doing press for his new job hosting a popular show on national television.” - The Age

Turns out that the Queensland Government just thought having five people together in a house at the same time was what they image a really awesome and fun and large party would be like if they ever got invited, just saying.

I feel like the marketing team at Zarraffas have never had breakfast, they just saw an Instagram Reel about it once

You haven’t lived until you’ve live texted a Covid press conference with all of your wedding clients getting married in the next few days.

Cheers to the freakin weekend

In a way, aren’t we all boats stuck in a Suez Canal called life?

1yr ago today Queensland closed its border to other states with Police manning that border. That day was the beginning of a year from hell for our family and talking to a friend yesterday I realised I haven’t even mourned the last year yet. That’ll be something nice for future Josh to deal with.

We’re only one or two more “Covid ruined my wedding and now it’s your problem, Withers” away from collecting the whole set.

Good thing I’ve got great contracts that mean nothing in court.

Have you been overseas in the past 14 days? Have you been in a Covid hotspot or been in contact with someone who has Covid? Do you have a fever, runny nose, or a cough? Have you felt like visiting a Bunnings, K-Mart, or a Thai restaurant recently? You may have Covid.

Time to fly, Melbourne

“I’m working in Epping, Epping is barely Melbourne, and I’m working with a group of engineers that don’t smoke!?” is literally a sentence spoken by a Collingwood supporter walking to the MCG through Richmond and I think that’ll be the most Melbourne thing I experience this trip.

If you’re wondering if airports have spent the downtime they’ve been gifted over the last year to make their coffee better, they haven’t.

I keep on finding this weird smudge on the top of some of my photos when I get them back from the film lab. Anyone know what’s causing it?

If you’ve ever been disappointed, know that you’ve not been truly disappointed unless you have prepared food for a toddler to not eat despite telling you that they wanted that exact thing you just made, and you made it really well, am I raising a psychopath?!

For all intensive purposes words don’t matter, right?

I, for one, welcome our new unable to understand actual consent so we’re using a sexual consent app overlords.

PSA: Your kiwi fruit experience will improve once you realise you don’t need to spit out the seeds.

Just say, hypothetically, that you were married to a heavy rug user, what are some things you can encourage your partner to do to stop buying rugs and eventually kick that rug addiction?

Asking for a friend.

In the first two months of both our girls lives we’ve moved house. Oddly enough, into the same house both times. Tomorrow we’re out of the Palmy Crew and back into the Tugun Flight Path!

Police are now targeting a part of the people who misuse the word apart.

Did one person a million years ago cross their fingers and magically their situation changed for the better, or are we all just crossing fingers for feels?

It's not all men, but it's only men.

“It’s not all men, but it’s only men.”

Those are some tough words to read, thank you for sharing Damien Johnson.

It’s not all men, but it is all people who look like me, who identify like I do, it is people who I could be mistaken for, or more importantly, people who I don’t fear but are fearful to other people.

I was thinking about the time that Dale and Barney and I were bashed up by a bunch of guys only meters from the cafe strip in Broadbeach, that was the first and last time I’ve ever been scared for my life, and I’m lead to believe that so many women feel that level of fear a lot more than I ever have.

I believe that a real inhibitor in the conversation about all this

To my brothers who feel threatened by the current movement, my encouragement would be that if you’ve done no wrong, if you’re not abusing your position by suggesting or insinuating sexual motives towards women who you have no right to do so to, then we have nothing to fear.

Stand by our girls and let them know you’re sick of it to, because I sure am. We can’t go back from this, we can’t go around it, or over it, we need to go through it.

Girls, I’m with you, it is ridiculous that you should feel fear to be in public alone, for it to be our default position that you are not safe in the presence of unknown men, and even worse than that, for you not to be safe in the presence of known men.

It’s not all men, but it’s only men.

Most Aussie shop ever

Boooo

“Many of us don’t have enough stories of being taken advantage of or of having something stolen because we don’t take enough risks. Any time we love someone, we risk being hurt. But it’s worth the risk.”

Shane Claiborne.

Remember when internet things were called cyber?

Crypto is the new cyber.

Whenever someone says crypto it means we don’t fully understand it yet.

Someday in a few years we’ll call it by a different name and that’s how you’ll know it’s matured.

Shiver me timbers.

The latest Adobe Photoshop release which is Apple Silicon native just loaded in 4.13 seconds on my MacBook Air, and I’ve got heaps of other apps open etc.

I can’t wait to see what they do with Lightroom Classic, I might have to go back from Darkroom.

I remember reading about wireless networking technology in computer magazines in the 90s.

When they said wireless I didn’t think they’d mean on a 7mm thick glass & metal slab, 160g handheld touchscreen computer, travelling at 800km/h, 11km in the air.

Sitting next to a couple at the airport lounge who have just completed a whole photo shoot, different angles, poses, trying the different camera lenses on the phones, to capture the beauty of their free Qantas continental breakfast.

Years ago, when I was a younger man, you’d get your car serviced and they’d put air in your tyres for free, but I guess that’s how inflation works.

Life’s never going to be the same once you realise what the Barenaked Ladies song “One Week” is really about.

🏄‍♀️ Bells Beach

🐨 For once, the sign didn’t lie

Something not quite right?

I want the photographer that does the McDonalds menu photos to do my headshots.

Not many people know this, but Gotye’s Somebody That I Used To Know was actually written about Melbourne and I through 2020.

let’s fly jetstar tonight

After our year of “travelling” we’ve got our keys back. We’re going home!

Hey world, why are we giving kids middle names if every time - as a marriage celebrant - I ask one of my couples for the full name of someone, they don’t think the middle name is part of the full name?

You might be surprised to find out that Harry & Meghan are not the first people to get married before they got married.

I’ve married so many people who have wanted to take back their getting married moment from their family, then gone along with the family wedding weeks/months later just to keep everyone happy.

Kind of sad that family would impose so heavily, in my humble opinion.

“My interactions with Bartercard (Qoin) have not raised any red-flags, and as a blockchain tech enthusiast I appreciate its efforts to onboard many non-crypto users.

James Zaki on Qoin

“We just wanted to get on Zoom with you to make sure you’re as much of a smart ass as you look like on social media”

I book the nicest couples!

Luna is a really coming around to this big sister vibe

First films

I for one am shocked to find out that the Colonialist White British Empire’s Royal Family is racist.

Goldie Grace Withers' birth

If you complain that you phone is listening to you, but use Google Chrome as your web browser, you’re a hypocrite - quite possibly innocently - but Google Chrome is becoming the least private web browser, despite already being terrible.

🌞

When Luna met Gracie

Let me introduce you to Goldie Grace Withers

No-one’s betting on a 2% chance of winning anything. If there’s a 2% chance of anything happening, that basically means the thing isn’t happening. Our doctor said there would be a 2% chance of us ever falling pregnant, and an even lower chance of us having two children.

But by God’s grace we’ve won that lottery twice now, so I’d love to introduce you to our little girl born yesterday, 4kg and healthy as you could ever hope for, please say hello to Goldie Grace Withers.

Thank you so much to our friend Bec Zacher for these amazing photos.

🌙

Funny looking Old Gum Tree there m8

I just picked Luna up from her trying to play with some rude kids who didn’t want to play with her, so in front of the kids and their yucky mother told her that “we don’t have to play with yucky kids.”

Parenting has really brought out my inner bitch.

What’s with midwives not going all the way and becoming full wives? Asking for a friend.

Luna, we’re taking a photo for mummy, just hold on for a second

I’m at the markets talking to a friend and Luna walks off, treks across the whole market, to go to the stall she knows has watermelon. She gets a basket, puts a watermelon in it, and a carrot, and goes to the cashier.

I think she’s ready to leave home.

I love how Mentos stubbornly believes that people at service stations know what “Chewy Dragees” are.

I know that worrying works because nothing I’ve ever worried about has happened

Saturday morning, February 27, 2021. Baby still going through customs.

Sounds like a Pearl Jam song

I would like to make a public statement regarding the most recent episode, number 175, of the Wedding Photo Hangover podcast.

If you listen to that podcast you may hear me say stupid and offensive things. Alas, that was not me. My voice was hacked. I was just dropping the kids off in the podcast. Jenny and I spoke last night and she said to me, you have to think about this as a Prime Minister, just say you were hacked.

This is a link to the episode I was in no way on - please do not listen.

Palm Beach Boardriders

The Gold Coast property market right now …

Use Vegemite.

If domestic violence killed as many men as it does women, and if it the threat was higher to older people, would we fight domestic violence like we are fighting COVID?

Or would we just keep on letting women get burned alive in Queensland?

You know you’re reading an article not for you when the first interview question is answered by beginning with “we millionaires”.

“We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.”

– Bryan White

If your preferred mode of transport is your Facebook profile pic, I live for your Facebook comments, keep them coming.

This story is my favourite story of today, plus, the update makes it even better.

“I accidentally created an army of crow body guards. Am I liable if my murder attempts murder?”

Minutes before this screenshot I was on the front page of Hacker News, which is all a nerd honestly wants in his life.

I can die happy, affirmed by the nerd community now.

Sometimes when I want to feel fancy I imagine my car is a private jet, but for roads.

Tap your phone at Gold Coast bus stops to access my website

My February 2021 Apple Fitness challenge is to walk 227km in the month. So I was out late last night closing in on the target when I stopped and looked at the bus timetable sign at a local bus stop.

That NFC tag piqued my curiosity. I wondered if it worked on iPhone?

So I tapped my iPhone 12 Pro up against the NFC logo and a website hyperlink notification popped up like when you scan a QR code.

And TransLink, the local public transport provider, had neglected to renew the domain name used in the NFC tag.

I now own the transl.in domain name and the people of the Gold Coast now have easy access to my website. 🤷‍♂️

As an example, a local bus stop links to http://transl.in/k_300428

Just checking because I don’t want to screw up this vaccine thing: Are we all supposed to wear the green and gold for our vaccination selfies? Did ScoMo wear his under his formalwear? Did he change? What’s the protocol here?

“People fall so in love with their pain, they can’t leave it behind. The same as the stories they tell. We trap ourselves.”​

— Chuck Palahniuk

I’m titling this sad piece “July 2020, an infrequent flyer”

The Facebook news ban hammer fell on our training business a day after I posted an article on surviving a Facebook ban lol … you’re great Facebook, thanks m8

The Foo Fighters were AIDS denialists?

How has it taken 20 years for me to know that a) AIDS/HIV denialiam is a thing, and b) my favourite band - The Foo Fighters - were backers of the thesis & have never officially walked it back? Thank you to Martin McKenzie-Murray in The Monthly, John Safran’s Music Jamboree, and Goat

Who should be a politician and why?

I bet you have an opinion on politicians and who is a terrible one.

Do you think the incentives that used to exist to become a pollie/leader have evaporated while the work/accountability has (rightly) increased significantly, so less of the best people in our community want to stand up to lead today?

I’ve honestly considered serving in government, and aside from rabid imposter syndrome, and not knowing if I’m the kind of person that I think should be a leader in the community - like a MP - the incentive for me to stand up is ever reducing.

I can think of it now, journos or keyboard warriors scouring over my years of internet history. Past clients who didn’t like me weighing in on podcasts, and imagine if they started talking to my family about politics or even me. Like my first step-mother probably still thinks I’m a gay priest like I overheard her telling someone a few years ago. All whilst earning a less than corporate wage but not having the liberties to act like a corporation but instead, acting in the best interest of the electorate - not just those who elected you.

Dear DJI,

I’d like a new Mavic model please.

In late 2016, five years ago, you set my heart on fire. I’d been watching the Phantoms ghosting through the sky making aerial photography for three years. Your Inspire line had inspired me for over two. But the Mavic, the sweet little foldable package with a great camera, won me over, be still my beating heart.

That first relationship with the Mavic Pro was like the first time I drank whisky neat. I knew everything before then was wrong, and only this was right. I saw the Platinum and the Air taxi onto the UAV runways of our hearts and knew something bigger was coming.

And in late 2018 that Mavic 2 boarding call sounded. I fell in love all over again. With the choice between a Zoom model or a Pro model with that fat ‘Blad camera, I knew the Mavic 2 Pro was for me, and boy did we see the world. That Mavic 2 Pro and I, we travelled far and wide. Through America, New Zealand, Bali, Iceland, and all over my home that they call Downunder, we made photos and videos and had so much fun.

In Iceland in late 2019 my little Two Pro got a little bit confused - I think we were too close to the Arctic polar cap - and despite my best piloting, the compass wanted more, and she flew into the distance, and I’m guessing the side of a mountain about 25 minutes flight time away. Luckily for me, the DJI Go app data saved my bacon and a warranty-replaced Mavic 2 was in the mail.

In late 2020 the drone and my relationship had blossomed to the point where I felt like we could expand our boundaries and try new positions. On this one sunset afternoon one of us got a little too close to a wave, and then amidst the confusion, we got a little too close to a rock pool, and the rocks, and the pool, and things didn’t end well.

Alas, now I am drone-less.

I even received spousal approval for a new purchase as a birthday present last year.

But I look at the DJI product lineup and can’t help but feel like it’s missing a Mavic 3. In the intervening years new Airs and Minis have been released, so your passion for small has not waned. Yet the Mavic line of spectacular cameras, rocking some sweet sweet Hasselblad glass on a small and foldable aircraft, has gone wanting.

Please put a new drone into my hands, DJI.

Please don’t make me buy whatever Sony is selling.

“Why Josh was never invited back onto Studio 10”

A screenshot, circa late February 2021.

Note: First recorded use of the term PoN, an acronym for People of News.

What a beautiful time to be alive in Australia

James Clear’s 3-2-1 regular email is such a nice format, I have to recommend it. 3 ideas from him, 2 quotes from others, 1 question.

“I wish Australia would take Facebook’s rejection as a sign it should rethink its approach to media regulation entirely. It could just tax companies based on their revenues, for example.”

via Platformer

Well that was quick, Zoom

I’m looking for someone in a full-time, or maybe almost full-time, role as a content creator working almost explicitly inside Wordpress. They need to know Wordpress, writing, photo blogging, and have a personal interest in weddings and marriage.

So I’ve been thinking about this a lot.

There really aren’t that many songs about rainbows, and even less that would lead us to think about what’s on the other side.

Weird flex, Kermit.

Luna vs. Shark

Hanging out on ABC radio this morning

I’m (apparently) the celebrant you call when you want to find out if you have to have sex with your new spouse on the wedding night …

Everything you’ve just read here, and everything you’re about to read, including this, is a performance.

On a personal note, as of midnight tonight my borders are closed to people from the Greater Border Closing region. If you have closed a border in the last 14 days, you’ll need to quarantine for 14 years if you want to visit me.

Guys, I can’t stress this enough, real life snakes are nothing - I repeat, nothing - like Allens Snakes. Do not eat.

The most fascinating element of big tech is when a newcomer has such a good idea that it’s deemed stealable by the incumbents.

Twitter launches Spaces, a Clubhouse copy.

I’m looking for the cheapest possible prices to get ‘Make Poverty History’ shirts manufactured please.

Please forward all quotes and appropriate comedic responses to my inbox.

Butterfly on inside of the windscreen. Circa February, 2021.

Babymoon @ The Calile

Tuesday sunrise because sleep is overrated // Jolly’s Loookout, Mount Nebo

6:29am and the staff member at the hotel lobby bar & cafe says to the barista, “you know what I like” and smiles.

Yet the barista did not know what she likes.

Thankfully I said, “long black with cream, please” and then smiled.

Hey, be real with me, do you guys ever wear your daughter’s dresses?

February 2021 would have to be the most visually pleasing month I’ve ever seen.

Sunrise

Jumping into Sunday like …

May, the EK

How good is it watching the elected leaders of the different Australian states squabble like children in a playground whilst they sink their states into financial distress.

Peggy

Fried chicken

Do we want our journos tweeting or not? NYT asks the big questions about bias and opinion

Running the numbers on great writing

“Hemingway, Morrison and Steinbeck, their best books, the ones that are held up and have the most attention on them now, are the books with the fewest amount of –ly adverbs.”

One Writer Used Statistics to Reveal the Secrets of What Makes Great Writing

What if I’m not smart enough to know if my thoughts are correct?

Not a 5G tower, bro, but cool birth story

🌈

What the hell is going on with guys who don’t tie up their shoelaces?

If there’s one thing the month of January 2021 has taught me, it’s that the Australian celebrant population (9000 odd celebrants) isn’t emotionally prepared to have received two emails from me in the same month.

On today’s business to-do list:

  • Answer a complaint from the Office Of Fair Trading about a couple who changed their 2020 wedding date to a day I wasn’t available for, and then was available for but then they didn’t want me, and who weren’t eligible for a refund, but got a 50% refund any way and they’ve taken us to the OFT for the remaining 50%.
  • Respond to a credit card chargeback for an elopement that was supposed to be in New Zealand last September but they moved it to April 2021 and just recently decided they wanted to get married now in Western Australia while the borders were closed.
  • File another couple’s wedding cancellation.
  • Freak out about the calendar for the rest of the year because almost every new enquiry I’m not available for because last year’s weddings are now in this year’s calendar unless of course they’re taking us to court because COVID ruined their wedding and they expect refunds from small businesses when even Qantas only gives credit vouchers.
  • Apply to a court to actually hold a hearing regarding a refund complaint for a Brisbane couple who had booked us for a Western Australian elopement but because WA closed their borders we all couldn’t get there so instead of planning something in the possible they took us to court and the court didn’t hold a hearing it just ruled in their favour so I now need to ask them to set that ruling aside wtf?
  • Take more photos of Luna.
  • Get in-house legal counsel?
  • Procrastinate on social media.
  • Wonder if there’ll be a SanityKeeper? I don’t want your money, ScoMo, I just want to go to Hawaii whilst this bushfire burns.

🌙 Our two year old adult

That face when mum has moved your stash

You know newsletters are a thing when Facebook feels so threatened by them that it needs to develop it’s own newsletter product. Via the Techmeme via the NYT

I can’t help but feel that Margot Robbie in a bathtub would explain Gamestop better than most journalists.

Robin Rendle’s beautiful essay on newsletters and the original sin of the internet is that, beautiful, and inspiring. Please view the essay.

"To disrupt legacies of exclusivity, institutionalized racism, and complicity. To build a culture of inclusion and accountability."

This article by @mayags floated into my timeline today, challenging American storytelling gatekeepers to consider their gatekeeping position. It’s timely as Australia wrestles with its racist past.

Happy Australians-arguing-about-a-public-holiday-whilst-not-doing-anything-actually-good-for-the-country week! It’s a real invasion on my senses.

Sunsets // a new way of measuring each day until it’s gone

This is the kind of drone video I wish I made, one where a crocodile attacks the drone whilst making the film.

Install Hush on your Mac and iPhone/iPad to get rid of all those annoying banners, pop ups, distractions asking you to approve or accept cookies. Hallelujah.

I can honestly say the most exciting stage of parenting a toddler for me so far has been when she learned how to use door handles.

How cheap money and algorithms shaped the last decade and the opposite will shape the next

This is a powerful read for people trying to mentally tie a bow on the 2010s. Ranjan wraps it up saying that the cheap money thanks to near zero interest rate policies we’ve had since the GFC, and social media algorithms, are what shaped the last ten years of our lives.

“I’m incredibly excited about the coming decade because I am genuinely hopeful the two core trends I outlined will be reversed.

Algorithmically-optimized lying has prominently entered the conversation to the point our ex-President was kicked off. There’s simply no way money can remain this cheap for a prolonged period of time. What that unwind looks like is an entirely separate post, but there will once again be discipline imposed on the allocation of capital. Financial and technological regulation is far more imaginable than just a few years ago. Change is coming.”

The Margins, on Substack

10 seconds of pure iPhone exposure

With all the science, research, wisdom, and love in the world well never stop people dying. But we can stop people living.

The most misunderstood element of the internet is how you or I can just post things there and they become truth. At least that’s what I was aiming for when I created the internet.

Guy freaking out a little bit a disco: I should write a song about having a sense of poise and rationality.

A friend kindly and jokingly mentioned that life for us looked to be all fun going by social media recently.

And life is pretty fine, but …

So I thought I’d share what the first half of just today has been for me.

  • 2 couples cancelling.
  • 3 couples moving to new dates, two of those in different cities both moved to dates next to each other so that’s four weddings in a row that week in July.
  • 1 couple who have had 2 New Zealand bookings with us already, and we’ve been working with them since November 2019 on their elopement bookings, are now fighting for a refund because they just want to get married now despite WA closing their borders again.
  • 2 flights cancelled, with new tickets issued after a call to Qantas, but with one of the flights we now need to fly in a day earlier - so I’m not home for Britt’s birthday - but the accomodation isn’t available a day earlier so we need to get extra accomodation and of course, at our own cost because imagine if I asked the couple to pay for it because Qantas isn’t flying out of Gold Coast that day.
  • 3 wedding enquiries replied to.
  • 4 mentoring and support replies to Celebrant Institute members needing business support.
  • Plus our home which we haven’t been in since March last year because we rented it out so we could travel to weddings and elopements around the globe for a year, has a pool problem so I’m on the phone with the pool company and the real estate trying to not spend thousands fixing a pool problem that wouldn’t have happened if we were in our home.

Which is all fine, seriously, this is just my job, and I’m doing it.

But this is simply four hours of a Friday morning in my life sitting in a Hobart Airbnb about to drive two hours to an elopement that was supposed to happen in Tuscany last year for the loveliest couple who I legally married last March when we were sure we’d be in Italy in July for them.

I’m honestly just really over it all.

It’s been 319 days since we were in our home and our business was 100% fun and I feel like we’re being forced to apologise for running a successful international wedding business.

“As the automotive brand with likely the highest name recognition across all demographics in spite of not having a new product in 40 years, we still believe that none of the above is insurmountable and believe that others will see value in it, as well.”

Via DeLorean

Thing I’m just casually dropping into conversation today then laughing: “more like QA-wrong, am I right?!”

Podcasting turns 20 today. @podnews tells the story with Eric Nuzum.

Luna, presented without caption

I don’t like to boast, but sometimes I use occasional chairs frequently.

President Trump has just pardoned my passing of gas that everyone’s been talking about. I’m a free man.

Podcast you should sample: Queens of the Drone Age

New podcast recommendation: Queens Of The Drone Age!

It’s a new podcast, two episodes deep so far, and it’s hosted by four Australian tech journalists/nerds in media.

It’s a well recorded and produced show, and really accessible. It might be about tech and the culture surrounding tech, but it’s not a nerd-show. It’s really accessible to listen to for people who might like and appreciate tech things but aren’t nerds like me.

Search for, or click through to, Queens Of The Drone Age.

What a time to be alive

Honestly, you haven’t lived until you’ve watched from afar as your daughter interrupts a beautiful little Instagram moment a mother is capturing of her own child. The mother looks around for an adult to take responsibility while I pretend I can’t see. It’s everything.

Luna (runs around the house screaming): Noo pooooo! Narrator: And yet there was poo.

7:30pm Queensland time tonight (GMT+10) I’m hosting my first @joinClubhouse room and it would be absolutely grand if my friends would join me for a chat. I’m hoping to record it as a podcast and drop it on The Rebels Guide Podcast as well.

With most new relationships being the result of algorithmic matching, does that mean computers are breeding humans?

The DJI Mini 2 couldn’t deliver the still images I was hoping for. Who would of ever thought that a drone lighter than an orange wouldn’t deliver great photos ¯_(ツ)_/¯

Thank god for the Apple return policy!

Have any M1 Mac owners recently tried to install an iPhone app .ipa file (circumventing the developer not making the iOS app available in the Mac App Store)? It worked for some apps when I first upgraded, but the iOS App Installer is erroring out now.

Let’s be honest guys, in this algorithm driven world, it’s only going to be a matter of time until the word ‘ducking’ is classified as a swear word.

Do yourself a retro favour and search for “SOL.EXE” in the iPhone App Store

This is one of those articles I think I’ll read a few times over the next few weeks.

“Everyone reacts, few respond.”

“McDonald’s Theory On How Best to Rescue Conversations” by Karthik Rajan

“Whenever you poo or pee, sterilise it for half an hour before flushing, this is to protect our city’s sewage.”

SCMP

I’m two days deep Clubhouse and I’m feeling bullish about its potential.

It’s a powerfully personal medium, with deep accountability (live voice). It’s like the child talkback radio and social networking.

I’ve got one invite left if you’re interested.

Show me a more Australian meal than a Chicken Schnitzel shaped like mainland Australia, served with veges, chips, and gravy.

I’ll wait.

We brought a Peugeot to a V8 fight …

Feature request for iMessage, Facebook Messenger, Instagram DMs, and Facebook Page Messenger: FOR THE LOVE OF GOD LET ME SEE UNREAD MESSAGES SO I CAN “READ” THAT ONE UNREAD MESSAGE WHICH I CAN’T FIND ANYWHERE. Maybe a simple “filter by unread” or somethn?

Just googled “Is it ok to just leave the toys out spread across the lounge room floor overnight like does it even matter” in case I was wrong.

Homo sapiens won the evolutionary race because we were connected

Research shows that Homo neanderthalensis (otherwise known as Neanderthals, the species of people that didn’t survive where we did) was more intelligent and had a bigger brain than Homo sapiens, but Sapiens, Humans, were connected. We were social.

We won not because of our intellect but because of our sociability.

“If Neanderthals were a super-fast computer, we were an old-fashioned PC – with wi-fi. We were slower, but better connected.”

From the book I’m currently reading, “Humankind: A Hopeful History” by Rutger Bregman.

I’m speaking at the Wedding Business CEO Summit

Registration is officially open for the Wedding Business CEO Summit!

This summit is hosted by, and created by my friend Heidi, to help wedding business owners go from overwhelmed & overworked to streamlined & more profitable than ever.

I’m speaking along with 24 other incredible speakers with topics ranging from finances, pricing, integration, going full-time and everything in between. I’m talking about creating a meaningful and fun customer journey!

The summit kicks off on Australia Day and it’s going to be 5 action-packed days that you won’t want to miss!

Click through my short link josh.show/summit to learn more and get your free ticket!

When I’m president imma make it illegal for kids to crawl or climb up slippery slides.

How, in the 2021st year of our Lord, do we still need to go to two different huts for sunglasses and pizza?

You know what’s really underrated? Cookies.

I can’t help but feel that the rice must have had a really good PR team early on.

To go from “looks like dead maggots” to “most eaten food on the planet” is a grand effort.

record scratch freeze frame “Yup, that’s me. You’re probably wondering how I got into this situation…”

Today was the wrong day to want to legitimately want to buy toilet paper in Southeast Queensland.

Googles bidet

Little bit morbid there, Apple Photos

When Orange Hair says to his followers that their journey is “only just beginning” does that mean they’re all about to drink Kool-Aid before the alien space ship comes and collects them?

“(Trump) has refused to accept the basic bargain of democracy, which is to accept the result, win or lose.”

WSJ

“Tech level determined using Qsin”

America, our love story, and how we fell out of love

19 years and four months ago today, when I was just 19, I woke up on the Gold Coast and discovered the United States of America.

Before the 12th of September, 2001, I knew of a foreign nation north of Mexico, south of Canada, where a few of my favourite TV shows, movies, and bands were from. I’d heard of ‘Bush’ or The White House', and between friends we’d joke about “not having sexual relations with that woman.”

Seinfeld was tied with South Park as my favourite TV show, and I thought I did a pretty good US accent for a gag.

But as Australia awoke on the 12th of September, 2001, we learned of the attacks on the USA.

I was glued to the TV news for days. I had a computer at home without an internet connection and couldn’t afford a phone line plus dialup Internet, but found out that Telstra offered prepaid telephone landlines and prepaid dialup internet, so within days had my own personal internet connection I could spend endless hours on (until my credit expired) discovering this ‘America’ that was under attack.

I subscribed to Time Magazine and started reading stories of the American people coming together, being together, joining together, in the days and weeks after the attack. I was hooked.

I wanted to know everything there was to know about these people, and this country, that was so united despite the terror that rained down on them.

Over the years I’ve been blessed to visit the ‘home of the brave’ many times. I’ve spoken at conferences there, and even married many couples in Hawaii, New York, Oregon, and California. I was even supposed to be there this week for a wedding in Orlando - but thanks to covid I’m here, home, in Australia.

In 2011 when Donald Trump questioned if Barack Obama was “made in America?” it was simply comedy fodder for an Australian on breakfast radio. We all laughed.

But in the nine years since that tweet, through to today where Trump literally encouraged mobs of people to storm the US Capitol, that America I idolised has changed so greatly.

America was a place I dreamed of ‘making it’ and a country I always wanted to explore. I dreamt of living there and building a life a-fresh in the land of the free.

Today however, it’s a whimper of the country I researched so earnestly in 2001.

Today it’s divided, angry, and ignorant of the plight of the persons of America, so heavily focused on the synecdoche America, so ignorant of the American.

Oh, say can we see, that America I fell in love with 19 years ago?

A shop displayed a sign announcing that they were “only excepting card payments at this time” and it’s really sitting with me hey.

Day one of Baby Drone making photos and we’re back into lockdown because of fear of getting wet.

Watching this wombat sleep today reminded me that the wombat is my spirit animal

👩‍🚀 I always wanted you to go into space, mannnn (photo not by Babylon Zoo, only the caption)

We can dance if we want to. We can leave your friends behind. Cause your friends don’t dance, and if they don’t dance, well, they’re no friends of mine.

‘Nice’ doesn’t sell ads

I’ve found the most quotable book I’ve read in a while.

“Imagine for a moment that a new drug comes on the market. It’s super-addictive, and in no time everyone’s hooked. Scientists investigate and soon conclude that the drug causes, I quote, ‘a misperception of risk, anxiety, lower mood levels, learned helplessness, contempt and hostility towards others, and desensitization’. Would we use this drug? Would our kids be allowed to try it? Would government legalise it? To all of the above: yes. Because what I’m talking about is already one of the biggest addictions of our times. A drug we use daily, that’s heavily subsidised and is distributed to our children on a massive scale. That drug is the news.”

Ruther Bergman’s book Humankind was recommended to me by my Aunt over Christmas as we talked about the light subject of saving the planet and bringing peace to planet earth.

Tracey recommended the book and in the first chapter Rutger is straight in for the attack on the news.

“I was raised to believe that the news is good for your development. That as an engaged citizen it’s your duty to read the paper and watch the evening news. That the more we follow the news, the better informed we are and the healthier our democracy. This is still the story many parents tell their kids, but scientists are reaching very different conclusions. The news, according to dozens of studies, is a mental health hazard. First to open up this field of research, back in the 1990s, was George Gerbner (1919–2005). He also coined a term to describe the phenomenon he found: mean world syndrome, whose clinical symptoms are cynicism, misanthropy and pessimism. People who follow the news are more likely to agree with statements such as ‘Most people care only about themselves.’ They more often believe that we as individuals are helpless to better the world. They are more likely to be stressed and depressed. A few years ago, people in thirty different countries were asked a simple question: ‘Overall, do you think the world is getting better, staying the same, or getting worse?’ In every country, from Russia to Canada, from Mexico to Hungary, the vast majority of people answered that things are getting worse. The reality is exactly the opposite. Over the last several decades, extreme poverty, victims of war, child mortality, crime, famine, child labour, deaths in natural disasters and the number of plane crashes have all plummeted. We’re living in the richest, safest, healthiest era ever. So why don’t we realise this? It’s simple. Because the news is about the exceptional, and the more exceptional an event is – be it a terrorist attack, violent uprising, or natural disaster – the bigger its newsworthiness. You’ll never see a headline reading NUMBER OF PEOPLE LIVING IN EXTREME POVERTY DOWN BY 137,000 SINCE YESTERDAY, even though it could accurately have been reported every day over the last twenty-five years. Nor will you ever see a broadcast go live to a reporter on the ground who says, ‘I’m standing here in the middle of nowhere, where today there’s still no sign of war.’”

With a careful note on journalism versus the news:

“Of course, by ‘the news’ I don’t mean all journalism. Many forms of journalism help us better understand the world. But the news – by which I mean reporting on recent, incidental and sensational events – is most common.”

And then he slides right into Facebook and Silicon Valley’s current obsession with buying and retailing our attention.

“This modern media frenzy is nothing less than an assault on the mundane. Because, let’s be honest, the lives of most people are pretty predictable. Nice, but boring. So while we’d prefer having nice neighbours with boring lives (and thankfully most neighbours fit the bill), ‘boring’ won’t make you sit up and take notice. ‘Nice’ doesn’t sell ads. And so Silicon Valley keeps dishing us up ever more sensational clickbait, knowing full well, as a Swiss novelist once quipped, that ‘News is to the mind what sugar is to the body.’

I believe that ‘Humankind: A Hopeful History’ by Rutger Bregman is required reading for anyone who’s upset, angry, our generally uncomfortable about the state of our people entering 2021.

In case you’d heard the outrage and you weren’t sure who he was, I just wanted to clarify: I am not the bean dad. I only make Luna wait her entire life for baked beans.

No-one is born with a passion, or a dream. Passions and dreams come from and are nurtured in our community, which is why we need to fight for and protect our common unities, our community.

The fact that Uber achieved the same growth in 10% of its $150 million as spend is one thing, the story of how they got there, that’s something else entirely!

How to overcome Phone Addiction [Solutions + Research]

“Phone addiction is one of the biggest non-drug addiction in human history. Studies show that excessive phone use is linked to procrastination, suicide (example), spoilt sleep, food and water neglect, headaches, lower productivity, unstable relationships, poor physical health (eye strain, body-aches, posture, hand strain), and poor mental health (depression, anxiety, stress). Some of these problems can be both causes and effects of phone addiction (procrastination, anxiety, unstable relationships, etc.).”

via cognitiontoday.com

It’s cute to see New South Wales and Victoria playing a game of State Of Origin. It’d just be sad to see NSW lose at the Covid football version tho.

With many of us grounded, has anyone had a play of PC Globe to try and scratch that travel itch? You might need to upgrade to a 486 to run it well.

“Dadda, not Josh” is Luna’s new way of introducing me to strangers. She’s a weird Hype Girl.

Guilty as charged

This American itch—that we must “DO SOMETHING” and “DO GOOD,” as Banfield put it—also fosters a psychological-sociological trap, wherein Americans take the view that society “could solve all problems if it only tried hard enough; [and the fact] that a problem continues to exist is therefore proof positive of its guilt.”

The Perils of “Doing Something” in City Journal

“A prank attempt went terribly wrong for a 14-year old boy from Boise, as he was raped by a 700-lb grizzly bear while walking around in the woods in a sasquatch costume.”

via Designs Salad

If you’ve been following for a while you might have sensed a tension between the joy I find in being online and the disappointment I find in news feed algorithims.

So I’ve been curating my own media diet for a while now and thought you might like a peek inside.

A podcast I first heard a year ago today still sits with me a year later, and I’ve listened to it maybe five times over. Cooking As an Art, With Jerry Saltz and Dave Cheng. It has almost nothing to do with cooking, or art, but more to do with life.

The future of music journalism is on (wtf) TikTok (sad face)

“TikTok music blogs have thrived during quarantine, and they’re helping to blow up new acts”

Simon Owens on 'the Substack problem'

“2021 will be the year that publishers start to form strategies to deal with the Substack Problem. By that, I mean they’ll need to find ways to discourage their star writers from leaving to launch their own Substack newsletters. In the most likely scenario, they’ll make deals with writers to launch the newsletter under the banner of the media company. They might structure the deal so the writer gets to keep their current salary and then some percentage of the subscriber income they generate – similar to the advances and royalties that book publishers dole out. This will be enticing to the writers because they get to maintain job security while also benefiting directly from their success. They can also grow their audience much more quickly with the help of the media company. It’s a win win for both parties.”

Simon Owens, on his Substack, which I highly recommend subscribing to

My issue with Spotify and Amazon muscling in on podcasting and how Apple has failed as well

Life on the internet, and in podcasting, is a game of middlemen (middlepeople?). The middlepeople actually really benefit from being in the middle, more than we imagine, and it’s an easy position to hold, one that most of the middlepeople hold in secret. Spotify is muscling it’s way into becoming the middle person between you, your favourite podcast, and the 246 companies that receive that data. Meanwhile big-spending Amazon is muscling it’s way into our listening habits, and even my podcast app of choice, Overcast, is a middleperson by design in that the Overcast servers know what podcasts I listen to, and those servers are continually polling the different podcast servers.

Spotify and Amazon I take issue with because they want to put a toll booth, even if it’s a free toll booth, on an already open road. Overcast is operating a booth on the road, but it’s not taking a toll. Whilst all of that is going on, the original champions of the podcast space, Apple Podcasts is - more than possiblly unknowingly - oversharing to the nth degree about who is driving on the free road, and I feel like that sharing needs to be reduced.

Have you played the hottest new web game of 2021? School or Prison

Much applause to the people behind Pentax cameras for this seemingly crazy idea to not go mirrorless. The unpopular route is often not filled with riches of finance, but it is full with riches of art, joy, and soul.

This is a fascinating story about an Australia man with an illness discovering horology

Algorithms are destroying our communities and what can we, or I, do about it?

There needs to be a better way to Internet

Maybe it’s because 2020 gave me many opportunities to think through the implications of which technology companies I’m quite beholden too, or maybe it’s because 2020 brought to light so many of the unhealthy business practices so many technology companies are embroiled in, but I’ve been trying to make big changes in my lifestyle in response to either, or both - because I believe that tech company algorithms are destroying marriages, friendships, families, and communities. I believe our privacy is important.

Social Media

I find so much connection and joy in the social elements of the web today, be it Facebook or Instagram, Twitter or YouTube, but I’m increasingly aware that anything more than a passing view into any of these portals is unhealthy for my soul, and an increasingly unhealthy place to “spend my data.”

I feel less and less comfortable with having my friendships, interests, politics, faith, and philosophy influenced by algorithms.

There’s a real tension here because I enjoy publishing and broadcasting stories - my own, my family’s, my friend’s, and the stories in my greater circle of life - plus I love listening to and reading your stories.

There’s just an inherently unhealthy aspect to a non-human deciding what you should hear about from your community.

Podcasting

I have a 25 year love story with the audio storytelling medium. It was 1996 when Paul McDermott, Mikey Robbins, and the Sandman were on Triple J for Breakfast and I feel in love with the idea of telling stories and entertainment purely through audio - no pictures, no words, no video.

As we skipped into a new millennium Dave Winer invented really simple syndication, RSS, and Adam Curry and Cameron Reilly started making podcasts, I witnessed the democratisation of audio away from broadcast radio despite forming and then walking away from a career in the artform.

Today as I witness Spotify and Amazon work hard at putting podcasts behind data-collecting, algorithm-driven, firewalls I honestly feel sad for the loss of the open industry of podcasting. I’m not saying all podcasts should be free. I personally pay for a number of podcasts, I’m just saying we should be able to access them without sacrificing personal freedoms, liberties, and without sharing excesses of personal data like what podcasts I listen to, which ones I listen all the way through, and the ideas algorithms can derive from that data.

Our entertainment and our information should be democratically available and curated by people, not by algorithms.

News, information, and articles

If you search on Google today for “The first podcast” you’ll see Google News articles for Prince Harry and Meghan Markle’s first podcast episode.

Our news and information, our thought-pieces and studies, our stories and anecdotes deserve better than being submitted to an algorithmic in the hopes that the mathematics decide they’re worth being read.

Communication

I don’t like the idea of the algorithms feeding me news, information, funny videos, and podcasts, to also be reading my messages and communications between people I love.

Photos

I have so much love for the art of photography. I would love you to enjoy my photos, and even more so I’d love to enjoy your viewport to the world. Maybe some of mine can hang on your wall as art, and vice-versa.

But I don’t want Facebook, Google, and Amazon to degrade that experience, and worse, abuse it for their own data-gathering needs about where we all were, and what we did.

Hardware

I don’t use Google Android phones because I don’t trust Google to run an operating system I could trust, and I use Apple computers because of the opposite, I enjoy knowing that my data is mostly processed locally - not in a data-overlord’s cloud. It’s an expensive choice, but until I know any better, I’m using Apple computers and mobile phones.

Entertainment

So many TVs today are selling our viewing data to advertising companies, and purely because Amazon and Google’s names sre in the product title, the Chromecast and Fire sticks are products I don’t trust.

The fix?

I’m leaning back into the open web, reading blogs on people’s own websites like mine where you’re reading this to hear my friend’s and family’s stories, listening to open podcasts that are available to whoever would like to listen to them, articles and news organisations. I’m communicating via phone call, iMessage, and email - not via comment fields and discussion boards, or if I am commenting and replying to posts I want to do it on a social network whose business model is clear and open, like Micro.Blog. Instead of waiting for entertainment, information, news, and articles to be recommended by an algorithm, I would like to see it in my RSS reader, or even better, see you link to it from your blog, and if I want you to read it, I can link to it from mine. I’m taking my photos back from Google and Facebook and sinking them deep into Apple Photos because I feel like I can trust them to be stored safely and enjoyed beautifully there.

I’m not insisting that my choices are the only and best, but with what I know today, and with the resources I have, and what I’d like to do and enjoy, I think these are pretty good choices.

Why should we care?

I’m writing all this so I might encourage you to come with me. I love the idea of us not talking over Facebook Messenger, and finding out about your pregnancy via an Instagram Story. I relish the idea of you listening to a podcast and thinking I might enjoy it so you share it with me. I dream of a day where local news and information is broadcast and published without fear of it not performing well in the news feed or without generating enough advertising revenue.

I hope for a day where the internet and our relationships live harmoniously - not in fear of each other.

We might never get there, but we can try.

Thriller idea: As the year 2020 is escorted from the courthouse to a life sentence in prison, after a solid 365 days of wrecking havoc on the earth, a terrorist group hijacks the cavalcade and releases 2020 back into the world with a new hairstyle and a different colour jacket.

We’ll call it “2020 Vision.”

In my almost 40 years on the planet, and most of them in Queensland, I’ve never kissed a stranger on NYE, or any other time. Am I doing life wrong or is the Chief Health Officer saying that sexually abusing strangers is the norm on New Year’s Eve?

Don’t let anyone tell you today is December 31st, 2020.

Today is March 306th, 2020.

If you thought everything else that happened this year was scary, 2020 is going out with a bang with delightfully terrifying dancing robots from Boston Dynamics

Don’t even talk to her before her morning oat milk froth.

There’s a mum sitting in the conductor’s seat of the playground train Luna wants to drive. Do I have jurisdiction here or do I have to just sit here and let her ruin my kids day?

A new family and travel photo workflow

For my personal travel and family photos, I’ve started a new photos workflow, and I thought other people who are beginning their family photo journey like I have in the past few years might be interested.

The premise of the workflow is that photos begin on my iPhone, Britt’s iPhone, or my Sony A6400. They are processed, and then iCloud Photo Library is my one true family photo library.

I’ve put loads (months) of work into clearing and culling that library down to about 21,000 photos now, and just recently finished geotagging every single last photo in the library using Metapho.

Because I like the idea of capturing as much data as possible so I have wiggle room afterward, I shoot on my iPhone and Sony A6400 in RAW, and previously I’ve used Lightroom to process photos then export to Photos. Recently however I’ve moved processing to Darkroom. I wasn’t comfortable with paying for Lightroom CC storage, and then having to make decisions about keeping originals either on a hard drive, or to increase my subscription and size for Adobe’s Cloud, so I’m keeping them in Apple’s iCloud - a product I already use and pay for.

The workflow simply looks like this:

1. Import: I import the photos to my iPhone’s camera roll. If I’ve already taken photos on my phone, they’re there. I ask Britt to Airdrop her photos to me. For photos from my camera I have the Apple Lightning to SD Card adapter, and import the raw DNGs straight into the camera roll.

2. Cull: I delete photos I don’t think I’ll keep. They stay in the Apple Photos deleted items for 30 days, more than enough time for regret to realise itself, or for me to realise I never needed those photos anyway.

3. Process: I open Darkroom and because I’ve got access to my Photos library within Darkroom I can edit these new photos as I like. Darkroom has some great inbuilt presets and you can build your own as well.

4. Modify Original: Once I’m happy with the crop, straighten, clour grade, edit, and what-not within Darkroom this is the impotant step. In the top right hand corner is the share icon, and I choose “Modify Original” so that the adjustments are stored inside the image file. It’s actually not stored inside, it’s essentially a little zip file, with the .ARW raw DNG file from the camera, a .plist file with the adjustments made in Darkroom, and then a rendered .JPG which is the image we all see, share, and enjoy. This means that there is a package in the iCloud Photo Library which containts those three files, totallying 40.4MB, instead of maybe 15.2MB. I don’t know why this is important to me apart from my inner burning knowledge that once data is gone, you don’t get it back.

5. Location, location, location: Aside from the image itself, there are three pieces of metadata important to me. The first is the location, the geotag. I love how Apple Photos brings you memories inside the Photos app, and also on my homescreen using the new iOS 14 Photos widget, and those memories are often location related. So I use Metapho as discussed at the top to assign a geotag to every photo that doesn’t have one. Metapho is smart in that it looks at images shot at the same time and date and tries to help by pivoting off that data. Photos taken on my iPhone generally already have a geotag, and photos taken on my Sony might be geotagged if the terrible Sony Imaging Edge app was working that day. Images taken inside often have a slightly incorrect geotag as well, because GPS doesn’t work in the house, so I’ll correct those images.

6. Who’s in the photo?: This step needs some time, because your iPhone literally needs to be plugged in, and in sleep mode, generally overnight, sometimes for a few nights. The process is about allowing Apple Photos to read your photos and detect faces. This all happens on device and at its own pace. I’ll go back to photos and see what faces have been detected and I’ll assign, or re-assign, the person name to that face so I could then search for photos of someone and find all of those photos in once search. This also adds into the memories feature. If Apple Photos hasn’t detected a face after a few days and I’m feeling pedantic, I’ll open Photos on my MacBook and in the Get Info window you can add faces manually.

7. Captions and Albums: I’ll be honest, I have been lazy in this arena, but my goal is to caption photos accordingly, and if possible to also group them into manual albums based around events.

8. What if they’re professional photos?: We take as many opportunties as we can to have our photos taken professionally, and those photos are often delivered weeks later, often with not-correct date or time information, and with no geotag. I’ll import all of these photos to my Apple Photos app and manually correct date, time, and geotag using Metapho.

9. Backup: A final and important step is to make sure that Apple Photos on your device, and iCloud Photo Library in the cloud isn’t the only place these photos exist. You always need a backup. Mine is Google Photos - which I regret - and also in Backblaze. Ideally I’d have a physical backup but I’m just not there yet. A really good backup is to also print the photos. You’ll never regret hanging them on a wall or having the prints available to thumb through, like this photo of me as a toddler hanging at my aunty’s house.

I hope this helped you formalise some sort of photo workflow for your own family and travel photos. It might not seem important today, but I can’t kick the feeling that in 30 years time it will really matter.

Luna. Takes no bull.

An interesting thought exercise is to imagine that something was being introduced fresh today, how would we approach it.

Much like how COVID-19 was introduced fresh just over a year ago, and we reacted as we did.

How would we react to cancer-causing cigarettes being introduced today? Or worse, road-accident causing cars, or violence and abuse causing alcohol?

Money shot

Turns out the TARDIS gets it’s time travelling power from books. Important lesson for us all to learn, ya know?

Calling all true crime podcasters, I’m desperate to know the story of Henk and Lane and how the small Tasmanian town of Penguin got two IGA supermarkets next to each other.

2014 article on ‘Silicon Valley data’ being the new ‘Wall Street debt’

“Built by geniuses, both products end up being deceptively cheap, morally corrupting, and of questionable long-term economic utility.”

Live Free or Try

I try to avoid hot political issues here, but if Paw Patrol is a police officer, clumsy firefighter/paramedic, some tradies, & a pilot, how is it that they “always get the job done?” Surely they’d need a barista or a wedding celebrant or other assorted necessary type people.

“Life is short, like Joe Pesci.”

— Chance, the rapper

Tasmanian Devil time

Emu

Wombats

Galah

Luna vs Kangaroo

“One of the most significant facts about us may finally be that we all begin with the natural equipment to live a thousand kinds of life but end in the end having lived only one.”

The New Yorker

🐧

How to spot a good fish and chip shop.

  1. it has the word ‘shack’ in its name
  2. there are lobster pots hanging for styling
  3. it’s near the ocean
  4. it’s located at a wharf
  5. Chico Rolls aren’t on the menu
  6. there’s a grumpy fisherman on premises

Bonus points for the shack being a seafood type of shack, for example this one is called ‘The Lobster Shack’

All I want for all of you is to enjoy life as much as Luna enjoys ice cream

I don’t like to boast on here, but I wanted to silence all the haters and the non-believers.

Yes, I totally can fit nine potato chips in my mouth at the same time.

So it sounds like MONA is celebrating being open again, this is the view from Dodges Ferry.

Nothing to see here, just an Independence Day-alien-ship-style laser beam going into Hobart …

Hello Coles, it’s modern news media here,

I hope you’re keeping well.

It’s the 26th of December, and now they’re ringing the last bells …

Dodges Ferry.

With a fake sunset.

This is the first photo I’ve ever published with a synthetic element like a sky. But I’ve been colour-grading and removing things in the edit for years, and somehow this feels worse.

Who knows?

Proud to be racing in the Salamanca Place to Hobart pram race today. Photographed is my First Mate taking us over the starting line.

Bloke at the pharmacy tells me that this is the second highest selling fragrance in Australia this Christmas

My personal answer to this thought is that I’m barely “on Facebook.” I publish any and all thoughts, opinions, photos, et cetera, to my personal blog which is managed and published here on Micro.Blog, a social network that is beautiful in nature and inherently keeps my data personal. It’s business model isn’t sharing my personal data, it’s business model is to be a social networ, and it costs $5 a month, because if something is free you’re not the customer, you’re the product being sold.

The Damage Has Been Proven, So Why Are We Still on Facebook?

“If a host of reports, studies, articles, commissions of inquiry, books and films were produced about the dangers inherent in the use of a certain product – let’s say a medication or an automobile – the likely result would be a public outcry demanding the elimination of said product. But that’s not the case with Facebook. Why?”

Haaretz

Quote I’m pondering thanks to Tim Ferriss’ pondering it …

“If we can forgive what’s been done to us… If we can forgive what we’ve done to others… If we can leave our stories behind. Our being victims and villains. Only then can we maybe rescue the world.”

— Chuck Palahniuk

Spending Christmas in the Switzerland of Australia’s south

Shop inside a regional Tasmanian town’s local shopping centre. The professional life coach on staff on Christmas Eve is wearing knock-off AirPods.

Our li’l traveller

I’ve just watched an episode of The Wiggles where they’re singing about, and boating in, The Big Red Boat. In this episode Anthony is assuming the position of captain, which is confusing, because for the first time in the entire show this is clearly a place where Captain Feathersword was the most qualified person for the job.

Why is Captain Feathersword landlocked even when The Wiggles go on the seven seas?

What’s the real story with Captain Feathersword?

✈️

Santa forgot a DHL sleigh at BNE

A Christmas wish list from, and to, the wedding industry. Give the gift of algorithmic love this Christmas, to your favourite wedding vendors.

Ballin’

Me at age 2: has never heard of sushi. 1993: first sushi train comes to Queensland Luna at age 2:

Welcome, newcomers. The tradition of #Festivus begins with the airing of grievances. I got a lot of problems with you, 2020! And now you’re gonna hear about it.

Australia's NBN declared finished, not because it is, but because we need to say it's finished

Politics, infrastructure, and the national broadband network, known as the National Broadband Network is an absolute joke.

“The Minister for Communications, Urban Infrastructure, Cities and the Arts has made a formal declaration under section 48 of the National Broadband Network Companies Act 2011 that the National Broadband Network should be ‘treated as built and fully operational.’”

“Under the Act the Minister must make such a declaration by 31 December 2020 – or formally extend the period within which such a declaration can be made.”

So even though 35,000 properties aren’t connected, thus the network is not ‘built’, we’ll declare it built, otherwise that’s a bit too much work.

When are you publishing an update to The Frustrated State, Renai?

A South Australian Christmas

How the people of Kuitpo, outside of Adelaide, celebrate Christmas.

Photographed December 21, 2020.

Even at the age of six I was a media tart, I just whanted you to know about me.

South Australia is literally issuing tickets for admission to the state. (Not a joke, you get a ticket for answering the border questions correctly)

Every airline’s business class is just an upper class hostel in the sky, and the frequent flyer lounge is just an upper class hostel kitchen, free to those who frequent the hostel.

Convince me otherwise.

Thirty years of the World Wide Web

Thirty years ago today the first website, recreated at http://info.cern.ch, was born.

Thirty years earlier than that, the internet - the global system of interconnected computer networks - was conceived, but it wasn’t until the hypertext markup languag, HTML, lead the way to a HTML viewer - a web browser - and the first website became viewable on the 20th of December 1990.

Almost a century earlier we started realising the power of machine as a computer, and thirty years after we started connecting them in a network, we gave birth to a method of publishing and sharing knowledge, stories, information, on “the web.”

We’ve never been more connected, and more divided. Who knew that when we smelt so much of each other that it all wouldn’t be like roses.

“All of humanity’s problems stem from man’s inability to sit quietly in a room alone”

The Guardian

Collection of my favourite photos of 2020 // 🖼 Cactus Country // The closest I got to a desert this year, regional Victoria’s Cactus Country. It’s one of the framed prints I’ve made available in my online store

A storm is brewin’

Berrrd

“Facebook’s argument is along the lines of arguing that the police shouldn’t crack down on burglaries because it might hurt pawn shops.”

@gruber on Daring Fireball

You’ve got to read this LA Times report on how toxic jet engine fumes have been making their way into airplane’s air supplies FOR DECADES AND THE AVIATION INDUSTRY KNEW?! wtf.

For decades, the airline industry and its regulators have known about these incidents — called fume events — and have maintained that they are rare and that the toxic chemical levels are too low to pose serious health risks.

If you’re flying into Gold Coast from today expect to stand in the sun for a while as they screen everyone entering.

🦅

🍄

I never knew I wanted a Trump Presedntial Christmas Address deep fake for Christmas but here we are.

On Thursday’s we fly in the rain

Collection of my favourite photos of 2020 // 🖼 Blue Mountains // I’m going here today, one of my favourite places in Australia. It’s one of the framed prints I’ve made available in my online store

I don’t know what crime Remember The Milk committed to be left off this App Store list, but it must’ve been bad

Collection of my favourite photos of 2020 // 🖼 Birds on a wire // I think this is how the internet worked before computers. It’s one of the framed prints I’ve made available in my online store

Kinda feel embarrassed about my previous 38 Decembers where I’ve proclaimed something stupid about how it’s been a “big year” or something philosophical about how next year’s “our year.”

If I worked at a newspaper in the buy, swap, and sell section, I would tell people my job was classified.

“Flight capacity into Gold Coast Airport has soared, with Melbourne to Gold Coast gaining traction as the busiest route in Australia for Jetstar and Virgin Australia. Sydney to Gold Coast also tops Jetstar’s two busiest routes in the country.” - Destination Gold Coast

Collection of my favourite photos of 2020 // 🖼 Olive // Olive this photo of an olive tree. It’s one of the framed prints I’ve made available in my online store

Search on the web is a broken system

Search is broken.

When a local doctors surgery needs to run ads on its home page so Google is incentivised to rank that page higher - because Google makes money from displaying ads - then the whole thing is broken.

I understand the how and why of how and why were here. And the rankings on Google’s homepage are precious and meaningful to so many businesses, including mine, but what is the fix? It’s not like the Yellowpages were any better, if anything, the somewhat democratic algorithmic management of search rankings is better for the world.

But this is broken.

The only fix is possibly just walking down the street and asking for a appointment at reception.

Collection of my favourite photos of 2020 // 🖼 Cows // This photo is one of Luna’s favourites, because she loved seeing cows so close. It’s one of the framed prints I’ve made available in my online store

Collection of my favourite photos of 2020 // 🖼 Surfing // My classic favourite photo is a top down of a surfer. This one’s at Palm Beach. It’s one of the framed prints I’ve made available in my online store

It’s almost a crime how good Instagram works on a Mac (Apple Silicon + Big Sur) considering Instagram doesn’t allow it to be installed without a bit of hard work. You can just drag and drop an image onto the Dock icon to post.

Collection of my favourite photos of 2020 // 🖼 Valley // Particles that have travelled at the speed of light for 8 minutes and 20 seconds, just to fall here. It’s one of the framed prints I’ve made available in my online store

Collection of my favourite photos of 2020 // 🖼 Lorikeet 🌈🦜 // Hungry li’l Rainbow Lorikeets. It’s one of the framed prints I’ve made available in my online store

Collection of my favourite photos of 2020 // 🖼 Dunedin // The only international travel I made this year was to New Zealand. On a day off in between elopements Harley and I went to Dunedin and found this gem. It’s one of the framed prints I’ve made available in my online store

Currumbin Foam

If you’re not onboard with a password manager already, then you’re leaving yourself at risk using the same password or password-ish for every website. I mention this because there’s a deal right now for 10 months free for 1Password for Families. Do it!

Collection of my favourite photos of 2020 // 🖼 Burnt // Literally hours before rushing back to Queensland before the border closed, I made this photo from one of the regions affected by bushfires at the start of the year. It’s one of the framed prints I’ve made available in my online store

Collection of my favourite photos of 2020 // 🖼 All of Brighton // Well before @karenfrombrighton3186 did all of Brighton, back on the 5th day of March this year, I was in Melbourne making a photograph of all of Brighton Beach. It’s one of the framed prints I’ve made available in my online store

Palm Beach at high tide this morning, no wonder it’s closed

Finally convinced the Apple Silicon (fanless) MacBook Air to heat up. 45 minutes of 4K video render in Final Cut Pro in an Australian summer.

I’d like to say that I’m doing this due to popular demand, but the truth is, only 3 people asked. So based on that small cohort I’ve assumed that everyone would like to purchase on of my favourite photos I made from 2020

Next month I’m talking at the Wedding Business CEO Summit. But because I can’t be there in person, I recorded it today. Start saving your pennies though, I’ll post about it when there’s tickets available to attend online.

Is the @remarkable the best tablet for a wedding celebrant? Here’s my Celebrant Institute review.

Best Australian TV ad of 2020 has to be this banger from BCF

🌖

When Melbourne threw the kitchen sink at a coronavirus

The Age looks at the 2020 Melbourne lockdown with a modicum of hindsight.

‘‘No one had done lockdown before coronavirus. Maybe we wouldn’t have even thought of it had Wuhan not done it. There are still enormous gaps in the science – how much do you need to do, what is redundant and what really makes a difference? It is a very murky scientific area because most places, including us, threw everything at it at the same time.’’

Prof. Sharon Lewis in The Age on the Melbourne lockdown

“They try to get their users to do things that their advertisers want them to do, because that’s how you sell advertising”

Matt Stoller in ‘We can have Facebook, or we can have democracy, but we can’t have both’

Just Britt and Luna two years ago breastfeeding mid-walk on the Venice Pier as Britt mothers our two month old daughter in Los Angeles as if it’s her twentieth child. You’re a wizard, Britt, I’m so proud of you.

the difference between a wedding and an elopement and why that’s important

Call me biased, but I’m really proud of what Britt has created in The Elopement Collective. Not just because she’s my wife or because I’m her celebrant for her elopements.

I’m proud of what she creates because it has heart, soul, and purpose. Tune in below for a hot take on elopements.

2020’s really been the year for eloping, and I’ve watched on as everyone in the wedding industry has a go. It’s been interesting seeing what people have made, and how couples have gotten married.

Here is the thing. An elopement is purely and only about two people getting married. It’s not a small wedding, it’s not a micro wedding, it’s not a pop up wedding. Elopements aren’t a photo shoot with a ceremony at the start, they aren’t a styled shoot with some vows, they aren’t about catering, styling, furniture, photos, film, florals, dresses, or venues. An elopement can have witnesses, but it’s not about them, it’s not about entertaining them, feeding them, occupying them, or hosting them.

An elopement is 100% and only about two people transitioning into marriage. If someone sees it, that’s cream. If it happens somewhere lovey, that looks pretty, what a bonus. If we get a photo or two, and a film, we’re in luck.

A wedding is about your guests, family and friends. An elopement is about the two of you.

I’ll selfishly and proudly say that because The Elopement Collective was born out of a strong belief in the power of marriage and ceremony, we make the best elopements.

I’m proud of you Britt, you’re my rockstar.

There are two types of Australian online stores. The first doesn’t ship to PO Boxes and doesn’t take American Express. The second is everyone else.

What made Airbnb, Airbnb

“As a money-making scheme, this was pretty lousy: a year’s work and all they had to show for it was a binder full of maxed-out credit cards. So why were they still working on this startup? Because of the experience they’d had as the first hosts.”

A powerful read from Paul Graham of Y Combinator

I’m pretending like everything is fine, please hold your applause til the end of the performance.

Palmy Army

Light and cameras explained in the most technical but easily understood way. If you want to actually understand how a camera works, read this through.

I could watch this YouTube channel all night long

Finally mapped out my talk for next month’s wedding business summit, now I just need to find a quiet place to film it

Just received an awkward phone call from someone contracted by a real estate agent, to wish me a Merry Christmas “on behalf of” the agent.

I’m not as well financed as the agent, so can I ask each of you to randomly dial a phone number and wish that person a Merry Christmas on my behalf please.

I’m forecasting that within 12 months the remaining non-greys will be turned to the grey-side as we embark upon what will be our busiest and most taxing year ever. 2021 sees Britt and I with a newborn, a toddler, new 2021 weddings and elopements, and also most of 2020’s couples.

My friend Geoff at Motion Art Cinema said we should take before and after photos to see how 2021 ages us.

Bring it on 2021!

Whatever your wedding photographer is charging you, Luna will beat their packages by 10%.

Wedding has to start after her midday nap and she’ll need a never ending supply of Smarties.

Nashua

If AirPods Max offend you, that is the correct response ... for you

An aspect of Apple’s strategy - marketing and business growth/sustainability - that is often forgotten when they launch products is this: filtering.

Not all of Apple’s products are for everyone. They’re for some people. If the AirPods Max as a device, or at that price, offend you - you’re being filtered out. Your response is the correct and desired response Apple wants you to have. If these were headphones for everyone they’d be $20 at a service station.

Honestly, it’s a good reminder for anyone and everyone. You can’t be the person, the service, the product for everyone. Even the world’s most popular drink, or social network, or car, or phone, cannot reach the entire addresable market.

It’s ok to be unpopular. In fact I would argue that being unpopular is the only way to happiness, financial sustainability, and the ability to sleep peacefully at night.

Popularity is eventually depressing, and mostly, a myth.

and roundabouts

🌸

Report: Humanity not ready for aliens to be ready for humanity to be ready to find out that aliens have told the USA and Israel that humanity’s not ready for aliens.

In honour of my birthday today, please make a donation in my name to the Human Fund, money for people.

Photo by human, Jason Corroto.

Three weeks into taking a shot on Qoin, an Australian crypto currency launched by Batercard that you can actually use in retail and for services, and although I have not spent money yet, I’ve sold a few second hand things and from that injection of AUD I’m 12% up on Aussie dollar valuation over three weeks.

I wish I knew more about crypto currencies, but then whenever I look I feel like I know everything there is to know, so maybe it’s just all Wild West?

The reports of my 39th birthday are greatly exaggerated. I’m actually only 12.

A story about an Aussie athelete who posted himself in a crate from the UK to Australia, disappeared from Adelaide after he was charged with conspiracy to import cocaine, sentenced to death for drugs offences in Sri Lanka, but only spent five years in jail in Australia.

I’d neglected to mention weight/size in my reMarkable 2 review - so it’s been updated. The reMarkable is 18% smaller than the iPad Pro and weighs 15% less. When you’re talking about gadgets held in hands, that’s a difference.

I’m starting to focus on self portraits

Can the reMarkable 2 replace my iPad Pro?

When the first generation iPad Pro was released I saw two opportunities for my personal workflow. One was the easy, and simply beautiful, method for my couples to sign their Australian marriage paperwork electronically. The other was for me to leave my Mac at home with my heavy travel schedule and make the iPad the computer I took away from the house.

The iPad served both of those roles quite adequately, even more so as I upgraded to the 11" iPad Pro and the second generation Apple Pencil.

The niggling feeling I’ve had for the past year though, has been that I was too closely involved with the iPad, so much so that I couldn’t see it’s flaws, and the unhealthy relationship we’d developed.

Things like: finding peace with transferring a 4K video off an SD card into the iPad and there being no status update as to how much of the file has transferred or how much longer it will take; struggling with the multi-tasking two-three apps open at once strategy called Split View and how it never really worked that well; how so many developers seemingly don’t actually use an iPad despite developing apps for it, displayed usually by the lack of iPad feature support, or forcing us to use it in portrait mode when there’s a keyboard attached and it’s in landscape mode; and finally, so many developers just refusing to develop for the iPad, Instagram most notably.

So two products were launched this year that had a real shot at replacing the iPad and my entire computing setup.

The first was the MacBook running on Apple Silicon. It runs iOS-only apps better than an iPad, and it brings the responsiveness and the speed of the iPad, to the Mac, rendering my 16" MacBook Pro with an Intel chip, obsolete. The only thing the MacBook Air with Apple Silicon did not do was give me touch and stylus.

Enter, reMarkable 2.

So I gave in and ordered a reMarkable.

First looks

The reMarkable 2, or the Remarkable as I’ll refer to it from here on out, is a beautiful product, packaged beautifully.

Set up

The Remarkable syncs with the propriety cloud service, reMarkable Cloud.

And is supported by desktop and mobile apps.

Files can be uploaded to the cloud, and when the device connects to wifi, it synchronises back and forth.

Using reMarkable

The device is beautiful to use. It’s a simple, single-use, device. It displays documents and allows you to mark them up. Imagine a regular paper notebook married to that stack of documents on your desk.

The handwriting detection is pretty amazing well, considering my handwriting is more like a scrawl.

The unit also dabbles as a PDF reader and eBook reader, a task it handles well despite not being a Kindle. I’d love to have access to my Kindle library!

Compared to the iPad Pro 11"?

The Remarkable is 100% a nicer device to hold in your hand, and to write on. I’m using the stylus that has an eraser in the head of the stylus, and the screen is what Paperlike has been trying to bring to the Apple tablet family.

I find the Remarkable easier to write on, annotate with, and hold in my hand - with or without the leather case - the only problem is that it’s not running iPadOS and it doesn’t have an LTE modem.

If you’re trying to imagine what it feels like, imagine a large and thin Kindle you can draw on.

Size and weight

The Remarkable 2 is 187mm wide, 246mm high x 4.7 mm thick, compared to an A4 piece of paper, 210mm wide, 297mm high, and you know how thick it is. Compared to the iPad Pro 11", which is 179mm wide, 248mm high, and 5.9 mm thick.

The iPad Pro 11" is actually the thinnest Apple computer ever made, but it feels like a brick after holding the Remarkable in your hand.

The Remarkable weighs 404 grams, and the iPad is 473 grams, 69 grams heavier, a 17% increase in weight as you weigh them up in your hands.

It’s certianly nicer to hold the Remarkable, and especially when you factor in covers, cases, or keyboards. The Smart Keyboard really bulks out the iPad, whilst the Remarkable’s leather folio is still quite slim and lovely to hold.

Problems

The reMarkable 2 will only connect to “regular” wifi networks, not public wifi networks requiring authentication through a website, like the Qantas Free Wifi.

And the Mac software is the slightest bit buggy, but the developers have promised fix.

Will it do the job?

The reMarkable 2 is replacing my iPad Pro. It might not have a 4G modem, Dropbox sync, or the Kindle app, but it is the best electronic ink tablet with a stylus money can buy right now.

If the reMarkable guys are reading this, I’ll throw in a last minute request for a Safari extension as well, not all of us use Chrome :).

Luna, teaching bubba to swim

Bullish on Airbnb in a post-Covid world

Airbnb’s strength today and in a post-covid travel world is in it’s flexibility to offering a different kind of travel.

“Airbnb’s “gross daily rate” was pretty flat at the end of last year, hovering around $110. This, too, declined in April. But by June, it had increased to $146, and has since settled to a rate around 20% higher than last year — $128 in September.”

Airbnb in 2020 would be one of the least affected-by-Covid companies on the planet.

“One of my favorite taglines in recent memory was Airbnb’s “Live There,” a campaign it launched in 2017 with the agency TBWA. It’s as cheesy as any earnest brand campaign. But it feels true. A real representation of the Airbnb spirit, something its frequent customers can appreciate. Airbnb-ing isn’t remotely the same as staying in a lame chain hotel in a tourist quarter.”

And he shares an interesting story about why Airbnb probably isn’t the best and biggest travel content creator today:

“In late 2012, Airbnb launched a product called “Neighborhoods”,” he wrote, “which offered users incredibly rich and unique content about individual neighborhoods around the world. Visitors loved it. Almost too much. It turned out the content was so interesting that it distracted visitors from actually booking. When the team removed it from the home page, bookings went up.”

From Dan Frommer’s New Consumer newsletter

This is Maddie and Casey’s elopement, with me creating the marriage ceremony, photographed by Bec Zacher Photography for The Elopement Collective on the Sunshine Coast.

What do I actually do?

I lead my whole life in preparation to be your celebrant. Living the joy in my own marriage, leading my family, enjoying my friendships, travelling, living, drinking, sleeping, and eating, preparing for this succinct and breathtaking moment in your wedding. We’ll have meetings, breakfasts, lunches, dinners, coffees and beers. We email, talk, text, and DM, over months and years.

You walk down this aisle, everyone cheers, and then the crowd hushes.

You’re standing here, holding hands, and everyone waits for me to start talking.

What do I say? How do I say it? What vibe do I leave? How long do I speak for? Will it be too long or too short? Do I say and pronounce your name correctly? Will my PA speaker system actually work? How will everyone feel? Will I do anything awkward or weird? Do you trust me? What kind of marriage are we talking about?

It all comes down to that moment where I bring the microphone to my mouth and starting dropping syllables.

Someone watching me create a ceremony recently said that I just “ad-libbed” the ceremony because I didn’t read from a script. It’s so much more than that. I have to stand there confident about what I’m going to say after asking myself all those questions I just mentioned, and do it with a calm and happy demeanour, without burying my face and voice in a script.

I arrive an hour or more early, and I wait while you’re late, then stay around after to help with group photos or to help your Nanna to the reception.

I live an entire life preparing for these 18-minute-long moments we call a marriage ceremony. And it’s amazing, I’m so grateful I get to be that guy. Thank you for inviting me in.

Looks like a glasshouse …

Aircraft doing hard time

Do you think the COVID-19 vaccine should be mandatory?

“I don’t think in the case of COVID we’re in a position to be mandating because, one, we don’t have enough of them yet and you can’t mandate something that you’re not ready to deliver equitably. And I also think mandating something right now, where I think publics are really at their wits’ end with the amount of externally imposed controls—even when you know it’s meant to be a good thing, there’s a limit. And I think right now, one more thing that’s mandated by government will not be well tolerated.”

Heidi Larsen, anthropologist, interviewed on Slate

Feels good to be back, standing outside the Gold Coast Qantas Club with a bunch of other members moments before it opens, as each new person who would imagine the lounge to be open by now, stridently - almost aggressively - walks past the congregation, gets to the automatic sliding door and their face sinks as it doesn’t open.

It’s been nine months, I miss you Qantas frequent flyers, you bring me joy.

Sunset from Mooloolaba to the Glasshouse Mountains

Ok, it’s competition time, let’s do this.

Best palindromes, go!

The first rule of drone club is don’t take your drone swimming.

Today we find out if my iPad Pro is for sale

Did you know alcohol is a carcinogen?

I’ll be honest, I knew alcohol isn’t good for me, but in moderation I love a beer or a whisky.

I think I could slow down on the drinks though after reading this article.

🥭 ❤️

On being woke with conspiracy theory

”For those awash in anxiety and alienation, who feel that everything is spinning out of control, conspiracy theories are extremely effective emotional tools. For those in low status groups, they provide a sense of superiority: I possess important information most people do not have. For those who feel powerless, they provide agency: I have the power to reject “experts” and expose hidden cabals. As Cass Sunstein of Harvard Law School points out, they provide liberation: If I imagine my foes are completely malevolent, then I can use any tactic I want.”

Another piece from that NYT article

What if we banned the comments section of the internet?

Would the world be a better place if public comment functions were outlawed on the internet?

Imagine exactly the same internet, and social media, we know and love/hate today - the only difference being that you cannot comment on posts in a public manner.

You can still engage in private conversation with people, maybe even in groups up to 5 or 10. But above a certain number even group chats are banned.

The incentive is to split the broadcast of information, news, and opinion to either the masses, or micro-community.

Freedom of speech and freedom of broadcast is maintained, it’s just the comments section that is doomed.

Thoughts? Feel free to privately contact me or your friends about it.

What to do? You can’t argue people out of paranoia.

What to do? You can’t argue people out of paranoia. If you try to point out factual errors, you only entrench false belief. The only solution is to reduce the distrust and anxiety that is the seedbed of this thinking. That can only be done first by contact, reducing the social chasm between the members of the epistemic regime and those who feel so alienated from it. And second, it can be done by policy, by making life more secure for those without a college degree.

David Brooks in the NYT

There is a cult of ignorance in the United States, and there has always been. The strain of anti-intellectualism has been a constant thread winding its way through our political and cultural life, nurtured by the false notion that democracy means that ‘my ignorance is just as good as your knowledge.

– Issac Asimov

Start a Ponzi scheme!

Are you tired of your boring 9-to-5 job? Wouldn’t you rather be in Thailand toasting on the beach with your nomad homies?

Start a Ponzi scheme!

Zoom slaughters the Apple Silicon Macs' batteries. Every time I jump off a Zoom call I’m surprised at how much it’s dropped compared to regular usage. The circled part of this screenshot was a 25 minute Zoom call.

🍦❤️🐢

Pixelmator made my 11 year whale photo look a little bit better, about 10mb better

I dropped Pixelmator’s machine learning “zoom, enhance” feature called “ML Super Resolution” onto an 11 year old iPhone photo of two whales off the beach, along with all the machine learning colour grading options.

It’s still a low-fi photo, but now it’s a high-res low-fi photo.

Here’s the 35kb original. And here’s the 11mb machine learnt super res version.

Not all iOS apps are terrible on macOS running Apple Silicon

Much has been written and podcasted about how terrible the iOS apps running on Apple Silicon situation has been a pretty poor show. But my experience has been above average.

I thought I’d showcase the apps I’d installed and used that were pretty good considering they weren’t developed for use with a keyboard and mouse/touchpad.

Instagram

Despite being disallowed by the developers, a little .ipa workaround saw Instagram’s iOS app easily install on the Mac. The app is flawless from my using, scrolling, posting, and clicking around. The two glaring issues with this experience are that iPadOS’s dealing with iPhone-only apps is dismal, and that Instagram’s developers have a deep need to keep Insta off the desktop and tablet.

LumaFusion

The iPad’s and iPhone’s best linear video editor just works simply and beautifully on the Mac now.

Air Hockey (the OG)

When the App Store launched on the iPhone there was an intial blood rush of apps that took advantage of being able to develop applications on a colourful mutlitouch pocket computer. Air Hockey was one of the early releases and I remember showing it to a mesmerised friend. It plays beautifully!

DJI Go 4

I haven’t flown with it yet, but I’m excited by the idea of using my MacBook as a monitor for the DJI Mavic 2 Pro remote.

Qantas

My airline of choice has so far allowed it’s booking and account management app, and it’s inflight entertainment app to be installed on Mac and it’s mostly fine.

Overcast

The iOS apps that will shine on Apple Silicon Macs are the ones developed to the very spec of Apple’s Huamn Interface Guidelines and everything else ever preached at a WWDC session. So of course Marco Arment’s Overcast app works flawlessly, with a resizeable window, and it’s just a joy to use.

AirBnb

I don’t know if an app will be better than a website, but hey, AirBnb works.

Skip

My local coffee shop’s coffee ordering and line skipping platform of choice, Skip, works a beaut.

Cowbell

Sometimes you just need to be able to announce to people in the same room as you that more cowbell is required.

On top of this list I’ll add Good Sodoku, my little girl’s kindy social network - Storypark - and Lumy.

I’m only speaking for myself, but 2020 was going ok until I found out that when I think I’m putting wasabi on my sushi I’m almost totally actually putting horseradish and mustard with food colouring in it.

Instagramception #AppleSilicon

Stellar little Black Friday deal from Aussie Broadband: 250mbps down and 25 upstream for the price of 100/40 for a few months.

In a year where it’s been closed off to wasteful-on-holiday interstate and international tourists, Tasmania has declared itself 100% powered by renewable energy.

24 hours with a MacBook Air sporting an M1 Apple Silicon chipset

This is a black magic machine that is fast and beautiful and literally what I want in a computer.

The reviews are all true and accurate. Even for the bottom tier of Apple’s computer lineup, this is the speediest, most responsive Mac I’ve ever owned or used. Early in the year I moved to a Macbook Pro 16" to get the speed and responsiveness I’m getting from this MacBook Air, and the 16" feels like a dinosaur.

It’s whimiscal to be running iOS/iPadOS apps right on my Mac. It makes me wonder why it’s such a terrible user experience for iPadOS to run iPhone apps when it’s downright lovely on a MacBook Air.

The slow onward progression of security makes my audio apps by Rogue Amoeba feel like I’m hacking a mainframe, but we got there in the end.

The only thing to wait for now is for developers to move their apps from Intel to Universal architetures so they run even faster, and to see what on earth more professional, progressive, and well cooled Apple computers can look like.

I’ve gone from the highest spec’d portable Apple portable computer running an Intel processor, to what will undoubtedly become the slowest Apple Silicon Mac ever released, and it’s like I’ve gone from crawling to walking.

The future is bright for Apple computers.

Brisbane

The 2019 marriage statistics have been released and there’s been a bit of a drop ...

The latest Australian marriage statistics have been released, strap in for some nerdiness! Thanks to my Celebrant Institute colleague, Sarah for her help deciphering these numbers.

Saturday October 19, 2019 - that was the most popular day to be married in Australia last year. In the most popular season, whilst March was the most popular month, and all marriages were down 4.5% from 2018 to 2019.

The big change was that marriages by civil celebrants continue to increase, with 80.3% of all marriage ceremonies in 2019 created by a civil celebrant.

And the early data from the ABS shows an almost 32% drop in marriages for the first half of this year.

When comparing counts of marriages between April and June with averages for the same period over the past five years (2015-2019), in 2020 marriages were down 62%.

Quick side note, queer marriages were thought to have boomed in 2018 and settled down in number in 2019, but they’ve stayed about the same, from 5.5% in 2018 to 4.9% in 2019.

This is Olly and Emily and me in Port Macquarie on the 19th of October 2019, photographed by Mitch Pohl and you really ought to see their li’l motion picture by Bottle Brush Films

If you really wanted to take issue with macOS Big Sur you should be protesting on the streets regarding the external drive eject icon #wethepeople

Takeaway

Who’s house? Run’s house!

This afternoon I sold my 16” MacBook Pro so I could buy a MacBook with an M1 CPU. I prayed to the ghost of Steve Jobs and said “please don’t let me buy the wrong computer” as I struggled whether to buy an Air or a Pro and now the Apple Store is down, so if that’s not a sign …

Parking lot

Heard it on the wire

As John Gruber said when he linked to this page of vintage Soviet control rooms, these would make for some cool Zoom backgrounds

🏄‍♀️

Today’s office: Byron Bay Airport.

🌊

The Gig Economy Is White People Discovering Servants

“The core functionality of these apps — despite all their fancy technology — is not significantly different than having a servant. What the technology has done is pool the servants, make them available to more people, make it easier to communicate tasks, and — most importantly — make it possible to not think of them as servants at all.”

Read the article by Indi Samarajiva

🌉

Fire on the water, a smoke in the sky

Someone asked me recently what my personal brand strategy was.

I just see go to places, see cool things, make photos of them, and post the photos online where they get 2-3 likes.

I’m not very good at being strategically cool.

Instead of calling a parmigiana a parmi or a parma, let’s call it a parmo #worldpeacesolved

Sunset over what we call Summer Bay, despite the map saying Palm Beach.

One of my oddest hobbies is cloud watching. I can spend whole flights just staring out the window. These are some odd clouds over Scott’s Head this afternoon. I probably should read a book on clouds so I can give a better descriptor other than “clouds”.

Two daughters and a wife

I think the book is about marijuana

Qarrtsiluni

Inuit / v. / kartz-sih-loo-nih – Sitting together in the darkness, perhaps expectantly (e.g., waiting for something to happen or to ‘burst forth’); the strange quiet before a momentous event.

Privacy and free can’t co-exist online

The USA military buys your data from all three free apps we love. Nothing is free. Pay for your apps.

“The U.S. military is buying the granular movement data of people around the world, harvested from innocuous-seeming apps, Motherboard has learned. The most popular app among a group Motherboard analyzed connected to this sort of data sale is a Muslim prayer and Quran app that has more than 98 million downloads worldwide. Others include a Muslim dating app, a popular Craigslist app, an app for following storms, and a “level” app that can be used to help, for example, install shelves in a bedroom.”

Via Motherboard

Houseporn

Woman, circa 2020

🐝

Poncho time

Self-portrait

Victorian and South Australian COVID outbreaks have both been linked to problems with security guards at quarantine hotels.

Australia could be travelling around Australia today if the hotel quarantine program was managed better and the guards were paid well.

Via the ABC.

Apple Photos’ Memories feature is getting a bit desperate when it’s like, “remember that time you crossed the border into NSW?”

Tony Damn is my favourite person to receive emails from

To con-vey one’s mood

In sev-en-teen syll-able-s

Is ve-ry dif-fic

A haiku via The Red Hand Files

Mullockdown

Are there any nerd-like people that can point me in the direction of how to upload an image to micro.blog from a macOS automator action, and an iOS Shortcut. I’m nerd smart but not code smart, but figure I can learn. I’d love to be able to right click and upload an image/images.

Happy 100 year birthday, Qantas

If you see me dancing in an Instagram Reel or on TikTok, know that this is a call for help because I will have been taken hostage and I need to be rescued. Please screenshot this and put it on your fridge as a reminder.

Scrolling through our wedding photos and remembered a time when people had pocket computers with physical keyboards …

This little photo I made two years ago in Burleigh has gone gangbusters on Unsplash! Over 10,000 downlaods, and over 1 million views!

Created with a DJI Mavic Pro (the OG)

Which country do you think this photo was made in?

“How many fingers am I holding up?” Before every ceremony I conduct a quick and easy eyesight with your guests. It’s all part of the #marriedbyjosh service.

Me at Alex and Laura’s wedding in Adelaide, photographed by Mike Hemus.

The Macstories macOS Big Sur long read review

“There will always be and should be differences between the Mac and an iPhone or iPad because the hardware and input methods are different. Still, for the Mac to remain a healthy, important part of Apple’s lineup, it needs to adapt to the computing landscape of 2020 and change while remaining true to what makes the Mac uniquely suited to specific tasks. That, in a nutshell, is Big Sur’s objective.”

The Macstories macOS Big Sur review

Troy: “That’s one of my biggest fears.” Abed: “What is?” Troy: “If I ever, like, wake up as a donut…” Abed: “You would eat yourself? Troy: “I wouldn’t even question it.”

I miss Troy and Abed, in the moornning.

If you’re looking for me this weekend, I’m just waiting in my building’s elevator so when people get in it looks like I’m trying to tap to play these videos.

Luna’s upgraded to a big girl bed.

Please don’t tell her that a big girl bed is just a cot with a side taken off. She thinks we bought her a new bed.

How did salt and pepper take pride of place on our tables from all the seasonings available? Another cruel blow from Big Condiment.

Why do you want to end the world?

Q: Why do you want to end the world? A: CAE is devoted to practical, pragmatic solutions. We’re interested in the how, not the why.

— The Centre for Applied Eschatology (CAE)

All of Luna’s friends were getting orange phones so Britt and I buckled and got her an orange phone #badparents

I’m applying for a new Qld/NSW border pass and they’ve somehow made an already complex system, more complex. Oh the joy to live and work around the border this year.

When I’m president I’ll make Ted Lasso president.

“An assertion of will and personality,” much like pro-wrestling. That is the Donald Trump presidency, it’s been a pro-wrestling presidency – @gruber on the November 6 episode of Dithering.

3051 drones in a drone show in China! My bet is that by New Years Eve 2025 the Sydney New Years' Eve fireworks will replace the fireworks with a drone show.

I can confidently tell you that the Apple Leather MagSafe Wallet fits three cards easily, no more, not even three cards and a $20 note folded up.

Apple’s underdogs series is marketing at its best.

April 2019: Apple releases “Apple at Work — The Underdogs

July 2020: Apple release “The whole working-from-home thing — Apple

Working on story telling at this height would honestly be so cool!

Golden shower

In other audlting news today, Britt and I just fist-pumped on a baby name subject to certain condtions.

Luna and Dad’s first shakedown

I asked my friend James Day to photograph Luna and I shaking down Jake because he owes me money*. I shook him up and down hoping coins would fall out but his mum said he only uses Apple Pay now so there were no coins.

As far as shakedowns go, I’m proud of Luna and I, we brought a pretty strong game for our first one. James also made lovely photos. 5 out of 5 shakedown.

*by money I mean a cookie.

So, who ever knew that Australian states were kind of a “thing”. It’s like in 2020 we all had a lesson in realising that the “Commonwealth of Australia” is pretty much just a passport issuing and tax collecting authority

🌈 Rainbow, where the bow is actually full of rain.

One of these is an iPhone 12 Pro shot, ones a Canon 5D shot.

Gary Vaynerchuck’s take on the Apple of today and why he thinks they’re leaving money on the table and should buy Target (the US one) - Listen to the whole podcast.

Wanna join Luna and my scooter gang? Aside from terrorising the residents of Palm Beach we also smuggle dogs across the New South Wales border.

There are two things in this world that take no skill, spending other people‘s money, and dismissing an idea.

If you were wondering, I’m a massive advocate for colours and emojis in calendars.

Hypocrisy in conservative politics in Australia

Only a few moons ago here in Australia the conservative and rather religious politicans embodied by the oddly named ‘Liberal Party of Australia’ fought tooth and nail against marriage equality. A former leader of that party, who also once identified as the Prime Minister of Australia, Malcolm Turnbull, said on Four Corners:

“There is no question that some of the most trenchant opponents of same sex marriage - all in the name of traditional marriage - were at the same time enthusiast practitioners of traditional adultery. The controversy over same sex marriage was dripping with hypocrisy and the pools were deepest at the feet of the sanctimonious.”

Before this marriage equality debacle, a rabbi who has never made any comments on marriage equality, despite his heavy teachings on so many other topics, commented on these politicans. Originally hailing from Nazareth, Jesus said:

“Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You travel over land and sea to win a single convert, and when you have succeeded, you make them twice as much a child of hell as you are."

When I grow up I’m going to start a Hall of Fame for band names and the first inductee will be Reel Big Fish.

“Nothing is permanent in this wicked world, not even our troubles”

— Charlie Chaplin

This is a Warning. Mount Warning.

The first issue a Josh Withers presidency will address is this crap with health balls looking like rum balls. These two things need to be kept separate and sacred.

A power full picture

It’s Luna’s third mango season, or as she calls it, Mangomas.

When John McCain lost the presidential election to Barack Obama, he made this humble speech. Humility is an attractive element of any person, especially a leader.

Netflix staffer: so, it’s like Netflix, but you don’t get to choose what you watch, it just shows up automatically.

Netflix execs: wow

Rest of humanity: are you just describing TV?

Unknown bride looking person

“Social media encourages the myth that who we are is defined by the opinions we type. But the older I get, the less interested I am in how well people can script their beliefs in front of a computer and the more interested I am in how tenaciously they go about grinding out their moral existence. I’m impressed when someone can get up every single day, determined to be a better human being than he or she was yesterday. Typing out what we “stand for” is easy. But loving well isn’t. I am not down on typing out our opinions—clearly. I’m only down on thinking that typing in and of itself constitutes an ethical life. May we stop thinking that becoming the kind of person we want to be is as easy as typing “me too” at those we agree with and “stupid people” at those we don’t. That’s a distraction from the real work of being human. And I’m ready to work.”

From Love Matters More by Jared Byas

When you lose the wings you gave yourself

9 hours in Tokyo, November 2019

One year ago today, Harley and I spent nine hours in Tokyo. Shortest Contiki tour ever. Favourite photos are the bloke squatting and the other bloke selling electronics.

Trying to run a non-local business in 2020 = early grave, silver hair, deep familiarity with how Australian governance works, looking forward to a future of never hearing the words Annastacia Palaszczuk again, regrettable subscription to the Courier Mail.

As a wedding celebrant, this is my 2020 email template:

Hi! We start the email with factual text that sucks because COVID is ruining more wedding plans. But then conclude with a sentence ending with an exclamation mark & a smiley face so we still seem like nice people! :)

Loch Ness Duck

🏄

When Australia elects me as its president, the first item on my agenda will be outlawing the use of the term “The Coast” in regards to anything else but the Gold Coast.

No other coasts will be “The Coast”.

Vote 1 me.

Nothing reminds you how much of a gross and disgusting person you are more than your AirPods case.

US news today via #thesizzle & I thought it was interesting to read that the use of a risk algorithim to determine bail was rejected. This issue was covered in Malcolm Gladwell’s book, Talking To Strangers, and overwhelmingly the algorithim made better decisions than people.

6am hustle

25 week mama

Maggie

“There is an awful lot of anger in the world and there is a real need to be creative with it rather than destructive.”

— Alice Walker

🌙 More attitude than a professional wrestler

Photo of the current president of the USA on stage.

It’s a galah taking flight.

Just to be sure we all got the joke.

Mountains aren’t just funny, they are hill areas

Six years ago, on this day in 2014, I saw the most and best American thing outside the White House, with my own eyes. Nothing that happens in America today will trump this performance.

Business idea: Thirdhand bookstores, so your secondhand books can be sold and not just thrown out like you currently are.

It’s a rare day when you get to love animals and capitalism in the same action

Life hack: save the money on building a toilet, just pee in the ocean.

🚣‍♀️

When Fox News references problems with Mainstream Media you know the phrase, and the conversation, is broken. Fox is MSM. They are part of the problem.

”A crisis doesn’t have to be a negative event. A wedding is a crisis–one ceremony, one day, over and done. All eyes, all attention, all on this moment. That’s why we do it–even though the chronic condition of the marriage itself is always more important.”

Seth Godin, on a useful crisis

Beach daze

The next Apple Event webpage has an AR Easter egg, tap on the Apple logo in the hero image

It’s that time of year agin for me to be that wet paper bag of a man I am and say that Melbourne Cup, horse racing, gambling, and the entire culture in Australia that supports and celebrates the three is embarrassing and sad.

Please continue eating your roast chicken and drinking your wine knowing that I like wine and chicken, but don’t like what gambling or horse racing does.

Nerding out on putting a MagSafe case on an iPhone 12. It’s a peach case and obviously that’s communicated to the phone so it does this cool animation.

Going through old files and I found a 2009 iPhone 3GS rumour mock-up and I thought it would be interesting to see it next to an iPhone 12 rumour infographic

I don’t like to get political on here, but how have we let butterflies be called butterflies for so long when they have nothing to do with butter, it’s just an amalgamation of flutterby and buttorfleoge and boterflye.

Grace

The first two things I saw in the outside world this morning were about Sean Connery. One post was announcing his death. Another was reminding us of his misogynistic past.

It’s a weird thing to reconcile the day after someone dies. To see that they were a person, loved by so many, yet they were flawed and broken in so many ways.

I think Sean Connery needs our grace.

My hope, my prayer, my meditation, my personal goal, the thing I’d ask you to embrace in 2021, is grace.

Grace as a secular concept embodies a courtesy. Goodwill extended to you even though commonly it might not be. The Christian concept extends it further, allowing mercy without merit.

Grace isn’t forgetting, it’s not even forgiving really. It’s not an eraser or coverup. It’s not a cancel and it’s not imagining that nothing happened.

It’s acceptance of what has been, allowing for the consequences of those activities, and building a bridge to the now.

It’s an acknowledgement of humanity, our weaknesses and our insecurities, and an olive branch through them. Not past, or over, or under, but through.

May grace lace my every word in the year ahead.

It’s what I need. It’s what my marriage, family, business, and friendships need. I’m willing to bet it’s what you need. Let’s give it freely.

Grace.

This is why we will never want to stop travelling

“The human condition is designed for travel. Our brains evolved to geotag memories, initially to find or avoid predators, food and mates. When we recall memories of people, songs, dates or events, they are returned with their associated locations. While we normalise our oft-visited locations, it’s the novel locations that remain highlighted along with the travel experiences we had there which re-invigorate our interest in business and recreational travel. This is why we will never want to stop travelling.”

— Captain Richard Champion de Crespigny, aka the Qantas A380 pilot from that Singapore incident, in Traveller

Why did Damon Wayans Jr leave after the pilot of New Girl

Sharing because I feel like I’m not the only person wondering where Damon Wayons Jr went after the pilot episode of New Girl.

the reason behind this change was that Wayans was also part of the cast of Happy Endings, and as he was expecting it to be canceled, he joined New Girl. However, Happy Endings was renewed for a second season, and he had to leave New Girl.

via Screenrant

I wanted to see how much the iPhone camera had changed between the iPhone 6 and iPhone 12, so I took the same nine photos with four different iPhones, and blogged the results

Comparing the cameras on iPhones 6, SE, XS, 11, and 12 Pro

I upgraded my daily carry computer, or what us old people call a phone, to an iPhone 12 Pro this week. Upon clicking the shutter a few times I could see there was a big difference in the new camera, but I wanted to compare photos to former iPhone cameras. So I pulled out all the old iPhones in the house and took the same photo on each one. It worked out pretty good as the four cameras were each mostly two years apart in release dates.

Control notes

All photos were taken on the iPhone with a fresh install, no apps, or settings changed, no iCloud logged in. I simply tapped to focus and expose inside the default camera app, and turned off flash for consistency. All phones were held in a Peak Design Travel Tripod with the phone attachement. I tried to keep the framing consistent, but if it’s not, either the iPhone lens placement changed, or this free blog post doesn’t live up to even my standards. The iPhone SE is the first generation SE, the 12 is a 12 Pro. Taken with default settings including HDR/Smart HDR/HDR 3, on the 1x lens. The only edits made are to the HEIC files taken on cameras which save HEIC, those files have been converted to JPG using MacOS Automator.

You may want to right click on images and open in a new window to see full resolution, and honestly, I’m unsure if micro.blog actually compresses and/or resizes files so if you can still read this line I haven’t edited with original uploads to somewhere else.

Cameras used

  • iPhone 6, released September 19, 2014, 8MP f/2.2
  • iPhone SE, released March 31, 2016, 12.2 MP f/2.2
  • iPhone XS, released September 21, 2018, 12MP ƒ/1.8 lens
  • iPhone 11 (for one Night Mode photo), released September 20, 2019, 12MP ƒ/1.8 lens
  • iPhone 12 Pro, released October 16, 2020, 12MP ƒ/1.6 lens

Here’s a comparison of the four cameras as Apple sees fit.

Let’s look at the photos…

Landscape photo

iPhone 6 Landscape photo

iPhone SE Landscape photo

iPhone XS Landscape photo

iPhone 12 Pro Landscape photo

Sunset photo

iPhone 6 Sunset photo

iPhone SE Sunset photo

iPhone XS Sunset photo

iPhone 12 Pro Sunset photo

Self-portrait

iPhone 6 Self-portrait

iPhone SE Self-portrait

iPhone XS Self-portrait

iPhone 12 Pro Self-portrait

Selfie camera

iPhone 6 Selfie camera photo

iPhone SE Selfie camera photo

iPhone XS Selfie camera photo

iPhone 12 Pro Selfie camera photo

A detail photo

iPhone 6 detail photo

iPhone SE detail photo

iPhone XS detail photo

iPhone 12 Pro detail photo

Portrait mode

iPhone 6 Portrait

iPhone SE Portrait

iPhone XS Portrait mode

iPhone 12 Pro Portrait mode

Blue light

iPhone 6 Blue light photo

iPhone SE Blue light photo

iPhone XS Blue light photo

iPhone 12 Pro Blue light photo

Maximum digital zoom in blue light

iPhone 6 zoomed to maximum digital zoom

iPhone SE zoomed to maximum digital zoom

iPhone XS zoomed to maximum digital zoom

iPhone 12 Pro zoomed to maximum digital zoom

Night Mode, or a night photo for cameras without Night Mode

iPhone 6 Night photo

iPhone SE Night photo

iPhone XS Night photo

iPhone 11 (not Pro) Night Mode photo

iPhone 12 Pro Night Mode photo

Video

iPhone 6 video

iPhone SE video

iPhone XS video

iPhone 12 video

This really good report from El Pais not only tells you how coronavirus spreads through the air, but thanks to ther interwebs and computers, it shows you. This is a really good and informing read.

What was happening just before the 2016 US election?

2016 really does feel like a lifetime ago. I was in Iceland, having just been to Berlin and we were enroute to Paris, the first time I had ever married anyone in Europe. It was a pretty epic trip. I remember landing in Hong Kong from Paris and everyone got phone service. It was like landing and finding out a national disaster had occured, but Donald Trump had been elected President of the United States of America.

Meanwhile, “Closer,” by the Chainsmokers, was the country’s No. 1 song, as it had been since August. Not to read too much into that or anything, especially considering the duo’s troubling recent history of social distancing violations, but this lyrical snippet is standing out as pretty meaningful to me in 2020: “Four years, no calls/ Now you’re looking pretty in a hotel bar.” What if the thing looking pretty in the hotel bar … was democracy?

Heather Schwedel in Slate

How is it allowable and legal for a political party to text message me blatant lies today?

Look, I’m not going to tell you who to vote for, but I’ll happily tell you that dinosaur owner and political party creator, Clive Palmer, is spending a lot of money spreading lies about a death tax that doesn’t exist.

Luckily/sadly their website can’t handle the traffic …

How can lies like this be spread so easily without reprucussions?

Here’s a news piece about the death tax lie.

In their most outrageous form, the ads feature Palmer’s United Australia party candidates (such as his wife) urging electors to “Stop Labor’s 20% Death Tax”. Labor has no policy to reintroduce a tax on bequests, however large the inheritance, anywhere in Australia. The framing, the rising inflection in the speaker’s voice and the faux specificity of the claim are all designed to arouse emotion and credulity, by diverting attention from its factual baselessness.

I’m a guest on the podcast, Book(ish)

I’m a guest on George Dimarelos’s podcast, Book(ish) talking about Malcolm Gladwell’s latest book, Talking To Strangers. So it’s not just about the book, it’s about my life’s experiences that basically leave me an anxious wreck thinking that no-one understands me. It’s pretty much a therapy session recorded for your entertainment.

The official Josh Withers iPhone 12 Pro review after using one for eight hours.

The iPhone 12 Pro in-hand feel is remarkably different to the past six generations of iPhone with the rounded edges. The 90 degree edge of the iPhone 12 makes it feel better in-hand and I could imagine using it case-less.

12 Pro camera quality increase is so noticeable from an iPhone XS, the HDR is borderline “too much” as far as regular photos go, but it’s also representative of what we actually see with our eyes.

MagSafe is but another entry to the lineup of Apple things that “just works” and you’d hope it would.

MagSafe cases and accessories are in low supply this early, but I’m excited to see how vendors innovate, like Peak Design is on Kickstarter.

Considering the rounded bump is no longer pushing out the width, the screen feels more edge to edge, the entire phone just looks beautiful. I’m rocking the new deep blue colour.

Moving from an iPhone XS, the only thing I’m mourning is 3D Touch/Force Touch. I apparently used it a lot more than I could remember. Long touch isn’t quite the same.

If you’re on an iPhone 11, the 12 is a splurge. If you’re moving from an iPhone XS/XR, it’s real nice. From a X or 8, or earlier, you’ll be grateful for the numerous improvements. If you’re on Android, congrats on reading so far into the review!

Seeing as though I’m not an influencer, I don’t get many influencer opportunities, but when I do …

Life hack: sugar.

You know you’ve built a great society when every few years the most civic-minded of the society are forced to publicly beg, cheat, lie, and steal to get a job in management and guidance of the society. A system which eventually eats their souls.

The girl is addicted to sparkling water

There is no perfect twee…

recalcitrant berd

It’s the most, magical time, of the yearrr

She stops to wave and say hi to bush turkeys. We raised her well.

I see 2020 has a side hustle

On the off chance that there are people that can’t make it to your wedding, I stream your wedding with epic video and audio quality, so everyone feels like they’re right there … even though they’re at home.

Video streaming is included for free for everyone that books me!

Look at the flowers, look how they shine for you, and everything you do. They were all yellow.

Nothing says “you’re a weak little nancy boy" like an Instagram ad for some flippin cool gadget that is algorithmically designed to get me to purchase it. Tonight I might have won the battle, but cool-ass gadgets showed to me through social media ads, you may yet win the war.

The sun’s version of making a grand exit

It’s really good that one of our local Brisbane wedding venues can host your little footy final this afternoon, Melbourne.

We’re glad to help any time you need.

Lots of love,

Josh, Queensland.

What a novel method of podcast promotion. /cc @podnews

There’s probably a horror movie at the end of this road

🌙

So energetic

The anthem of Melbourne, 2020. Melbourne by Slowly Slowly

Why have I listened to 400 episodes of ATP?

One of my earliest memories is listening to Play School on the ABC because I’d been given a TV that didn’t show a picture.

The medium of audio storytelling has been a passion of mine for so long, I found a career in it first in community radio, then in commercial radio as a techie and then as a breakfast announcer.

As podcasting became a thing, thanks Cameron, I have held a steady interest the entire time.

As the market for podcasts developed, the market split in half can be roughly described like this:

The first kind of podcasts are well-produced news, entertainment, and information podcasts. They’re sharp sounding, and well made.

The second kind is my favourite kind. They’re simple, people in conversation, drawing me into that conversation without ever knowing me. I’m unashamedly standing in an audience, yet I feel connected to those people. It’s a nice connection.

Accidental Tech Podcast is one of those second kind of podcasts, and in their 400th episode, at the end of the episode, in the post-show, they talk about this kind of podcasting and why people like me have been listening for 400 episodes.

It’s come to my attention that I need to clear something up and I’m so sorry if you have been following me here for the wrong reasons.

I’m a celebrant, not a celibate.

These are completely different things.

”Hyun, if you are living a life that is content my advice is to learn to live inside it, examine it, relish it, and most of all remember it — this extraordinary thing, a happy life:”

Nick Cave in reply to Hyun’s question on creativity only flourishing in a state of loss and longing.

Anyone else struggling getting their head in a good and peaceful place at the moment?

Luke Fletcher just sent me this pic of Luna from this time last year when we were in New York together for an elopement with The Elopement Collective.

My brain is in a constant state of change, one minute thinking about how nice it is to be at home and to pick Luna up from kindy, next minute I’m thinking about the 44 of our couples who have booked us but don’t have a new date yet and the 180 movements our couples have made to their wedding and elopement plans around the globe, then my mind wanders to the administrative nightmare that is my computer and my inbox and how I should probably accidentally drop the MacBook into a pond to save me cleaning up the files on the desktop, and before long my mind wanders to the reality of our 2020 and where we were supposed to be have been right now, and how a little virus has changed all that. From there it’s not long before I start thinking about the government policies around it all, and what that means for the state of our society and how our futures will all be dramatically different.

I feel such an emotional burden for our couples, for the people contacting me about new wedding plans, and so many of my friends that are battling the same burdens.

Like my own personal antenna in my mind is tuning into everything going on everywhere, so much noise, chaos, and pure humanity. It’s beautiful, and strange, and chaotic, and weird.

It’s a weird 2020, and I feel like it’s going to be a weird 2021, I’m not sure my head will ever be in a peaceful place again.

Shout out to Rob Bell for his podcast about our antennas. It was a weird embrace to acknowledge where my head is at today.

It’s a strange time to be a guy who stands in the middle of your marriage ceremony and breathes your marriage to life.

Got troubles? Solve your troubles. Get the MASSAGE GUN!

Highway robbery

Flag berds

I don’t like to talk politics on here, but what’s with lasagne not being a popular dish anymore?

Rob Bell {through his podcast} encouraged me to talk to my friends about our antennas.

If you’re feeling overwhelmed (like I majorly am) through this year, I think this podcast episode might soothe you.

Look, I’m not saying anyone should do this, but has anyone considered getting some horses to race around a Melbourne wedding to make it legal?

Tree

Mask fashion > mask wearing?

Hey, has anyone pinned the pandemic on the guy who invented QR codes yet? I reckon he might be responsible.

The most friction in my life this year is my longing desire to see the sun finally set on 2020, whilst also acknowledging my deep desire to be present today, to be aware of what I am learning as running a wedding business becomes ever harder, how I am developing as I attend court mediations on the phone or have hard conversations with people, what weaknesses are being exposed when it all becomes too much, and which relationships really matter when you decide who to call or text about what’s going on, through this pandemic.

Not that the actual illness has affected me, I’m healthy apart from bloody hay fever, but in protecting ourselves and our community from the virus, we’ve lost so much else.

It’s a weird situation. Every day I see people commenting about Covid policies, and I can’t help but feel that if we stopped and took a deep breath that we might draw closer together as a community through this instead of forming deeper divisions between us depending on which politician you think is better.

I think I’m the only person on the Canberra Airport free wifi network right now - I haven’t seen anyone else in the airport - because I just uploaded a 12gb 4K video to Dropbox so quickly that I’m not even sure how long it took. Maybe 3-5 minutes?!

Bernt

🌄

🌳

With the decrease in tourists flooding the Australian outback, native Australian beers are being spotted again in the wild #lifefindsaway

Well grounded beef

Posting this photo online for the next time there’s an alpaca related scandal and someone searches Alpacagate, or Alpaca Gate, or #alpacagate

The greatest shame in my life today is how the Apple Watch hand-washing detection doesn’t detect my hand-washing. How can I convince this little computer that I am cleansed?

Today our Luna becomes a two year old and you know what the worst part about it is? That all the cliches are true. They do grow up so fast, they will grow out of it, it does get easier, this too will actually pass, and she really is the light of my life.

I’m in awe of Britt’s ability to be a mother whilst also being a friend, businessperson, wife, and human - a skill I’m yet to master.

And Luna, I’m so proud to be your dad. You’re a beautiful person and you’re going to be an awesome big sister in a few months time!

Opinionated ‘gulls

“It’s an article of faith in the United States that more speech is better and that the government should regulate it as little as possible” - The First Amendment in the age of disinformation. By Emily Bazelon, in the New York Times

Today is the first, and I’m guessing probably the last, flight I’ll take from Gold Coast to Canberra on a) a 717, and b) with Qantas. What a time to be alive.

I’m the father of a two year old (well tomorrow I will be)

Let’s get some real talk happening.

Is this bit crosswalks, or is it not crosswalks?

Out of all the books I’ve read that are not about the 45th president of the United States of America, but are about climate change, Volcanic Winter is the most enjoyable one of all!

A helmet might seem a bit extreme for cake, but we’re taking no risks after the dancing incident a fortnight ago.

Politics takes up a lot of our mindshare today.

Lots of people agreeing with a policy, politician, or party, or disagreeing with.

I don’t think that’s how it’s supposed to work. The joke about “there’s only two types of people” is a joke for a reason.

It’s not supposed to be an us and them situation, where you’re either for or against Dan Andrews, or the Liberal Party, or Trump, or lockdowns.

It’s so lazy to outsource our societal creativity, community problem solving, love for others, to a select group of politicians.

I want to be in the room, wrestling over the ideas, lovingly disagreeing, or not even disagreeing, but agreeing through gritted teeth because we can see the greater good despite the pain it might cause elsewhere.

Don’t put yourself, or me, against others over politics. The policy, the community, our society, deserve better than two teams battling it out to be right.

The truth is, if all you want to be is correct, to be cheering for the right team, prepare to be disappointed.

I don’t want to be on the right team. I’d just like to be the annoying guy on your team.

You know, over the years, we’ve all made a lot of fun of Melbourne. But I’m pretty keen to experience a Melbourne cliche sometime again real soon.

Mon, Dec 21, 2020. Victorian Premier Daniel Andrew’s takes the podium

Hello ScoMo, it’s Dan here, I hope you’re keeping well. It’s the 21st of December, and now they’re ringing the last bells. If I get good behaviour, I’ll be out of here by July. Who’s gonna make the gravy?

📷 #ADayInTheLife of Luna.

Gold Coast, Australia.

4:51pm, Wednesday, October 14, 2020.

Marketing isn’t that hard, you just need to put the right story in front of the right people.

When’s the right age to start pile driving your daughter?

Asking for a friend.

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but Rove McManus’s actual first name is John.

One year ago today I dressed my daughter like a nerd after visiting Cupertino. I have no regrets.

Companies collecting data for pubs and restaurants to help them fulfil their contact-tracing duties are harvesting confidential customer information to sell.

– The Times, UK

Marilyn Nonroe

Hollywood Stunt Driver Show, still the best show at Movie World

A little FYI that we’re going to be socially distanced from contemptible people until scientists do the impossible & develop a vaccine for fools.

I know this will be hard on the contempt industry, but we will not be offering any support despite rumours of a FoolKeeper subsidy.

📷 The Covid lockdowns and restrictions have resulted in far less tourists in Australia so we’ve seen the native Australian blow up animal flocking back to Gold Coast hinterland homes in great numbers this year.

📷 Rearview sunsets

A guy off a local Facebook Group tried to bash me up at a cafe today

I’m not one to try to remember the darker, weirder, less enjoyable moments of life.

But today, while I was having a meeting with a couple I’m marrying next year, an angry bloke named Mark walked in and threatened to bash me up in the middle of the cafe.

Mark posted in the Facebook Group about how Coles Supermarkets were closed today because of a computer issue, and commented that this is why we need to always carry cash etc.

I bantered with him a bit, became quite cheeky, and teased him for being a boomer. I was a bit of a douchebag.

He threatened to find me and fight me.

I saw a hurting middle aged guy named Mark, not some violent thug. So I offered up that I would be at my local cafe, Sisterhood Coffee, and although I would not and could not fight, I was available to meet and chat.

He arrived and made a big scene. The Police came and we made a report.

I posted the below in the Facebook Group before leaving it, and the sentiment remains for all. I don’t have much to offer this world, but if your alone and angry - online or off - I’m often available to be your friend.

Facebook Group Post:

A thing I never thought would happen, happened today. A member of this Facebook group walked into Sisterhood Coffee threatening to bash me up. A formal report’s been made with the Police and I guess they’ll find him and talk to him. But I’m seriously saddened by the state of our community. That some banter on a Facebook group about how Coles was closed and about a cashless society, resulted in a middle aged man resorting to violence. We make big claims in this Facebook group about the light rail, youths, or tradies, ruining Palm Beach, the truth is, we’re ruining Palm Beach, by being so emotionally disconnected, so spiritually void, that we feel the need to go into a fist fight in a cafe over cheeky Facebook comments. Mark, if you see this, my call to come to the coffee shop to talk was genuine. If you want to fight, I can’t and won’t, you’ll be bashing up a useless guy. But if you want a friend, I’m guessing you’ll be able to find me again. Seriously, if any of you are feeling that alone, sad, and divided that we resort to inhumane violence, I live in Palm Beach and I’d like to be your friend. Please don’t bash me up though. You’ll be leaving a pregnant wife and two year old daughter with a wounded dad, and you’ll be left with the legacy of missing out on having a real connection with another person on the planet.

Study reveals link between internet access coming to people and scepticism of government - The Economist

“Discovering things is clumsy and sporadic, and the results don’t at first compare well with the glossy and lauded works of the past. You have to keep reminding yourself that they went through that as well, otherwise they become frighteningly accomplished.” - Brian Eno

I have a memory of seeing someone eat avocado on toast and it being something I couldn’t have.

Skip forward 30 years and my almost two year old requests it for breakfast.

My new favourite iPhone game, Upspell It’s like your own personal 2 minute game of scrabble without a scrabble board, plus you can duel others.

On the chance that you were wondering how the different levels of government in Australia worked, in the 19th century all the states we now know as Australia (and for a second there, almost Fiji and New Zealand) agreed to federate, but all the states would keep their governments.

They agreed to give these powers to the new federal government though, as you can read in section 51 of the Constitution. Local governments are different again, each state’s Local Government Act determines what the councils can do.

So that’s the weird thing about Australia. The Prime Minister parades around like he’s Kingpin but he’s basically working for the states on a little to-do list put together 120 years ago.

Every now and then the PM has a nuanced little opportunity to flex some muscle with money, but basically the state Premiers are the real MVPs.

In hindsight it’s quite the odd system. If you were starting fresh today you’d probably design a country very differently.

“Here’s a deal to a place you can’t fly to right now, but maybe soon, but who knows, look, I don’t know, I’m just in charge of sending emails and convincing people to buy tickets to places, my job is hell, is there a state election soon?”

People in an airplane. Circa October 2020.

You wouldn’t know she has six stitches under that bandage. She’s back at full speed!

A rather lonely planet

“Build a good name. Keep your name clean. Don’t make compromises, don’t worry about making a bunch of money or being successful — be concerned with doing good work and make the right choices and protect your work. And if you build a good name, eventually, that name will be its own currency.”

  • Patti Smith

There is only one coffee I’ve ever had that I still think about today, and I was served it in Tokyo

Tiny, Luna’s BFF, isn’t doing so well though. Went in with literally zero symptoms and walked out with antibiotics, a splint, and a bandage around the head.

Luna’s doing really well today, thanks everyone, and @cheesemaker @maique @Munish 💪🏽

Proof of life, and smile

Due to Withers family government restrictions, dancing is not allowed in the Withers house until further notice.

Just a reminder for Australians that before you go to bed tonight, to change your clocks back to the future, I’m thinking August 2021 personally, it should all be over then.

Science … the microcovid.org website calculates the risk of you contracting COVID-19.

This is my risk profile for “going to bars regularly” in Queensland, talking to random people for 20 minutes at a time if we’re all not wearing masks and at normal standing distances (3ft).

0.7-in-a-million.

Oh good, someone’s figured out how to make TikTok worse.

Autobiographies are just word selfies.

So many of my couples are on their third, fourth, or even fifth wedding plan.

The couple I am marrying today had originally booked me and The Elopement Collective for the Amalfi Coast.

When we all realised that Italy 2020 wasn’t happening, we kept on hearing talk of a New Zealand travel bubble so we planned for a September elopement in Queenstown.

Then when that bubble was never realised, and Jetstar cancelled our flights, we brought it closer to home, and planned to elope in the Blue Mountains. Then NSW was cut off.

So this afternoon in good ol' Queensland, in the Sunshine Coast hinterland they’ll finally get married.

I’ve got similar stories for so many people, with so many emails, so many text messages and phone calls.

The interesting part is that they’re not overly sexy stories, nor are they terribly sad stories, I can imagine some people thinking “Wah wahh, you can’t get married in Amalfi”, but these are real stories out of 2020. Between the bushfires, the pandemic, the travel cancellations, the lockdowns, the people who have shut down their businesses - some for good - and those who are out of work, hold a heavy trove of stories. Britt and I are supposed to be in California today getting ready for an elopement in Yosemite.

It’s a weird old year.

Are we living at the ‘hinge of history’?

What makes our time hingey is that we have created threats that our ancestors never had to face, such as nuclear war or engineered killer pathogens. Meanwhile, we are doing so little to prevent these civilisation-ending events.

Conundrum: a confusing and difficult problem

Today is March 210th, 2020.

whatdayofmarchisit.com

Bellicose: demonstrating aggression and willingness to fight

We live in the age of general. Where the average is enough.

Where we make great arguments over Brand A versus Brand B, dismissing the million shades of gray between them.

Where we call people and politicians left and right, like there really are only two types of people.

Where conversation about nuanced ideas, be it faith, politics, authors, ideas, medicine, or family, are dismissed if they aren’t your own beliefs.

I long for the age of nuance.

For a time where we could just chat.

In the literature underpinning the Christian tradition, the main character of the stories, asks 307 questions. He is asked 183, and he directly answers three.

I wonder what that means?

Hi, I’m Josh.

I’m a marriage celebrant.

I believe that the best part of your wedding should be your ceremony, and I work my ass off to make one that fits like a glove.

I think that if you had no arbour, cake, flowers, cars, photos, seats, decorations, suits, or white wedding uniforms/dresses, that it’s still an epic day because you are loved. Everything else is just sweet sweet sugar on top.

I think personal vows are powerful, and personalised dressing robes are cool.

I fly a drone (DJI Mavic 2 Pro) and I like making photos of things that aren’t people. I like 90s pop and alt rock and 2000’s Foo Fighters.

I’ve got a 23 month old daughter named Luna, another little girl here in February, and every day of mine is brighter because of Britt, my wife. She’s the brain behind the The Elopement Collective!

We live at Palm Beach on the Gold Coast, and if there’s not a pandemic I normally travel the globe creating epic marriage ceremonies.

I’d love to make yours!

#celebrant #celebrantinstitute

iPadOS 14 would be one of the more disappointing released of iPadOS/iOS for iPad.

No App Library, and no widgets outside of the widget area is an honest disappointment everytime I pick up my iPad now.

I’d bet/hope that the early 2021 release changes that.

New tree mulch from this upstart author/uncle, @markrwriter

Did you know there’s an Australian journalist on the 16th day of his US extradition court case in England at the moment?

You probably wouldn’t because it’s not being reported on, and it’s being algorithmicly pushed down online.

What a time to be alive.

Relax, just do it

Anyone else have an issue with the idea that we as a people struggle to do the right thing in a pandemic unless our civil liberties are severely restricted by legislators?

The idea that collectively we struggle to make good decisions for the community we live in without a bunch of rules written down on stone tablets, is getting a bit old.

But maybe that’s the only way we can succeed?

Did you know the Apple Watch comes preloaded with the last time and date that a free U2 album would’ve been cool instead of a meme.

It’s Intermational Talk Like A Pirate Day so make sure when you visit a store, restaurant, cafe, or airport today you talk like a pirate and casually drop that you’ve been sailing through Victorian waters this last fortnight.

My hobby is to comment “booo” on anti-progress boomers in local Facebook groups.

I’m clearly going to Bunnings too much if I’m getting photos of Luna on the same date sitting in a Bunnings trolley.

“Transport bosses in Greater Manchester confirmed a snake was not a valid face covering.”

She thinks we’re playing, I think we’re training, we’re a great team.

I’m worried that the world doesn’t know how much I really don’t want my little black pocket computer to randomly start vibrating and making sounds because someone’s decided how I should spend the next five minutes of my life.

Thought you might need to read this as well if you’re making a speech at a wedding

The story of how Air New Zealand tried to sell Ansett to Singapore Airlines or Qantas for just $1.

🐮🐮🐮 #shotoniphone

For security reasons, we try to change our Prime Minister every six months, and to never use the same Prime Minister on multiple websites.

From: When you browse Instagram and find former Australian Prime Minister Tony Abbott’s passport number

In 20-40 years our kids and grandkids will host COVID-19 lockdown themed weddings and parties and they’ll think it’s so cool.

Anyone else getting fat-wrist-shamed by Apple?

Day one of being a bike person. Cycling sucks.

🐄📷

Every year there was a less than 1 per cent chance of experiencing a similar event. “However things can change, so we need to be vigilant,” he said.

From a story in the Melbourne Age newspaper, five years ago

The September of the penguins

The moment Luna knew she wanted to be a Toddler Mutant Ninja Turtle

Keith: serious Murwillumbah business

Luna: “this TV is way better than Mum and Dad’s”

That’s the way it’s gonna be, little darlin'

Your phone is your castle

Self portrait at Keith’s

Now showing, at the Murwillumbah Cinema.

Culture behind bars

Orange Floyd’s wall

Calile-lyf

Here it is

The berds are growing in numba

It’s actually crazy that public policy for resuming work and life in Australia is hinging on an unknown, possibly non-existent, possibly not effective, not tested, Covid vaccine.

It’s like me saying I’ll stop punching you once an alien spaceship arrives.

You’re going to have some bruises and you’ll probably never see an alien.

Outbak Straya

Burd

I love Luna loves to read

Burd

🥃🏡🏔🌅📷

Boat & chopper looking for a Great White Shark that killed a surfer yesterday.

Reminds me of the ep of Chappelle’s Show where the Police call it an open & shut case of break & enter because they found a black man in a house where he’d put up pictures of his family everywhere.

What? I’m just standing here watching my kid sleep and posting photos of it on the internet,

”Relentlessly prune bullshit, don’t wait to do things that matter, and savour the time you have. That’s what you do when life is short.”

Semi-intimate is the relationship status everyone wants to be reported as when your semi-boyfriend is caught out after curfew.

Hey, is adding “Really strong gif game” to my resume worthwhile?

Asking for a friend.

Scientific American on what it means when we have unlimited access to information.

Technology is blurring the lines between consumers and producers, amateurs and professionals, and laypeople and experts. We’re just starting to understand the implications.

Hey world, it’s (pretty much) beach weather, according to

Dear whitegoods manufacturers, no one on God‘s green earth ever requested a feature where your machine would beep when finished. Please remove the beeps from all whitegoods in the future.

Yours sincerely, Josh.

I’ve just tonight finished reading Malcolm Gladwell’s book ‘Talking to Strangers” and I’d safely call it one of the most important and helpful books released in 2020.

If you talk to strangers in your work or life, you need to read this book.

Important Father’s Day topic

Doctor Luna

Of all the things I’ve achieved in my life, all of the places I’ve been, people I’ve met, things I’ve said and done, they are all pale in contrast to being dad.

What everyone wants to belong to is a community but they keep winding up in audiences instead and I think this is the cause of a tremendous amount of suffering right now. – @girlziplocked

You don’t realise how much parenting changes you until after you put your daughter to bed you find yourself standing in front of the TV to find out how this episode of Peter Rabbit ends.

Saw these guys, far from home, in Darwin, the Young Tigers.

What if, perchance, we weren’t all in this together?

The reason I’ll stay a wedding celebrant as long as they’ll have me, despite pandemics and BS, is because of the bizarre and beautiful relationship I have with our couples.

Emailing with a couple at the moment and they’re literally looking into ways to get an exemption for me to be with them at their wedding in California.

Despite 2020, the wedding industry is still the best place to be employed.

Except for working at KFC of course. The easy and direct access to fried chicken is obviously really cool.

What an ad.

Also, as much as I’d like to have that fancy new Microsoft Android thing, I’m firmly we’d to the idea that I don’t want Google’s fingers in my pockets.

Best karaoke song to sing if you want to establish that you didn’t start the proverbial fire, but also, that you’re really knowledgeable about world history?

Guy on the flight on Wednesday wore his AirPods like this. Is this a thing? 📷

Just one guest at today’s wedding 🍻 #victoriabitter

📷 Sleeping giant

It’s been 183 days since the first postponement email. The longest 183 days of my life. 154 displaced weddings and elopements. Some couples are onto their third, fourth, and fifth wedding or elopement date or location. 46 cancelled flights to 15 different countries. $67,200 in cancelled invoices for future elopements or weddings. Thousands more lost to non-refundable accomodation, ferries, etc and about $20,000 tied up in travel vouchers. If anyone wants to fly Brussels Airlines before December 31 I’ve got some vouchers. Who knows the actual real cost to our business (me + The Elopement Collective). 3 court appearances coming up because we couldn’t refund and the couple didn’t want to reschedule.

1 virus.

I’m ready for all of this to be over now. How has Covid-19 affected you?

Five Darwin observations:

  1. Where the goal for people in many cultures is to become a doctor or a lawyer, in Darwin it’s to become an air-conditioning salesperson or refrigeration mechanic.

  2. The true status symbol of greatness in Darwin is to drive a dust-stained Toyota 4WD. Everyone else is a lesser than.

  3. There are an inordinate number of retired airstrips in the region, which would be really helpful if you had lots of planes you needed to land at once.

  4. The flies here are much more motivated than the common fly in the rest of Australia. The territory flies have a deep-rooted belief that your skin is merely masking the best thing a fly could ever want, like searching for the proverbial pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, flies are intent for getting literally under your skin.

  5. There is a coffee conspiracy in Darwin. My current understanding is that a mean person banned good coffee beans from ever coming to Darwin and if you are visiting there is a thriving black market for smuggled quality coffee beans. This is a guaranteed method of instant wealth.

📷 Burd

Everyone talks about a Darwin sunset. Charlestown delivered.

📷 I appreciate clear and concise signage as much as the next guy, but …

I just read the line in a headline “Oprah’s favourite life coach” and all I want to know is how to remove the taste of vomit from your mouth if you’re not carrying mints.

📷 Florence Falls, NT

Hey can someone just quickly explain literally everything to me. I think I missed something.

”The (US) debt isn’t going to be repaid; it’s going to be refunded.” - Warren Buffett

📷 In the Northern Territory of Australia termites have been exiled from the urban areas and forced to make their own homes in the bush.

Abandoned by humans and the government the termite people gather dust from their surrounds and build cathedrals, sacred mounds that these vermin call home.

I thought I’d take the time to tell you an old story from the first time I ever thought about a wedding, it was actually 25 years ago this month.

So on this one faithful August night in 1995, I was about to propose to my girlfriend when my roommate Joseph barged onto the verandah out of nowhere, tripped and fell over, breaking a glass outdoor table with his face.

Totally ruined the mood.

Now, I didn’t know Joseph that well, I can’t even remember where he was from, but I’m sure you could imagine I put my plans on hold to help get him to the hospital.

Joseph had gotten big glass shard in his eye leaving him completely blind in that eye. He was walking around with one of those cotton pads on his eye for a couple of months. Then suddenly, he disappeared, along with my girlfriend!

Apparently they’d bonded during the time after his injuries, and they eloped together, leaving me behind without as much as a note. I tried to track them down, but never could.

As happy as I am today, if it hadn’t been for cotton eye Joe, I’d have been married a long time ago.

Where did you come from, where did you go? Where did you come from, cotton eye Joe?

Humble brag photo post about travelling somewhere

I don’t think I’ve ever wanted an Android device as much as this one

So I hire a car from Avis for the night because that’s the easiest and most simple way to get to Brisbane Airport early tomorrow morning, and only $10 more than an Uber and the Airtrain.

Now someone’s crashed into the hired car.

My life is so exciting.

“People pay money to see others believe in themselves” — Kim Gordon, Sonic Youth

August photo micro-blogging challenge day 28 📷 Emotion(s)

“Out there things can happen And frequently do To people as brainy And footsy as you.”

August photo micro-blogging challenge day 27 📷 Overcome - as the Australian burnt bush fights its way back to green after a bushfire

Hey guys I would like to invite you all to join my multi level marketing scheme for beer. If you can convince 10 of your friends to drink beer, and they can convince their 10 of friends to drink beer, then I think we’ll be rich.

If Google was really committed to not being evil, they would remove pre-roll ads on Rick Rolls

August photo micro-blogging challenge day 25 📷 Relentless

Fill ‘er up, mate

This is so awkward, I misunderstood. I’ve been preying for you, not praying for you. I don’t know what I’m going to do with these dead animals.

Never forget the day ScoMo became PM

Anyone else find themselves trying to lead a really exiting life so when the COVID contact tracers release the list of places you’ve been, everyone would think you’re cool?

Just me?

The year is 2020.

Some have died from a pandemic, millions others are economically and mentally affected.

Meanwhile young and attractive humans are dancing for free to pop hit songs in 15 second segments on an advertising and government propaganda network.

Helping my friend Tatiana Neumuller with a new website tonight :)

The best part about Luna learning the word ‘no’ is that when she says ‘no’ loudly to my face in no way does that trigger any deep-rooted rejection trauma and I’m totally ok with it. Parenting is so easy.

A lady has just taken a photo of me and obviously thought I couldn’t hear her speaking. She thought it was beautiful and sad that I was the only person on the whole beach, sitting by myself, reading.

In case you see me go viral, I want to state that I’m quite happy.

August photo micro-blogging challenge day 21 📷 Crunch 🦈

One of the best things about colonialism and white people is that sometimes you can just have sharks swim next to you at breakfast without any fear of harm.

August photo micro-blogging challenge day 20 📷 Change (of scenery for a day)

Are islands called islands because they “is land”?

August photo micro-blogging challenge day 19 📷 Ribbon (of islands I just flew over)

Thinking about rejigging all my marketing to just pictures of me shirtless, grinning, holding up fish. It seems to work for guys on Tinder.

This wasn’t a collaboration with Bechtel with a contract and payment; it was Apple doing a favour under the table for the Department of Energy. But access for that favour went only so far.

-Tid Bits

August photo micro-blogging challenge day 16 📷 Stationary

Nick Cave on Cancel Culture, and mercy.

”Mercy is a value that should be at the heart of any functioning and tolerant society. Mercy ultimately acknowledges that we are all imperfect and in doing so allows us the oxygen to breathe — to feel protected within a society, through our mutual fallibility. Without mercy a society loses its soul, and devours itself."

“Cut my life into pieces, this is my last resort” – Clive ‘Papa Roach’ Palmer, looking at Palmer Coolum Resort.

August photo micro-blogging challenge day 15 📷 Silhouette, from the last time we were in Bali, for our babymoon with Luna

What’s the etiquette around putting handcuffs on toddlers?

Asking for a friend.

Microsoft Flight Simultor is a 11 months younger than I am as a human, so this montage is a crazy and fantastic display of how computing power has changed in my lifetime.

Did you know that if you bury a flatearther when they die, they actually pop out the other side of the disc because the earth actually rejects them, like when you get a little splinter in your finger, your body pushes it out.

You wouldn’t know this about me, because I don’t like to boast, but I once stopped eating a tin of Pringles.

In 2011 Redfoo proclaimed “now stop … hatin' is bad” in the middle of LMFAO’s breathrough banger, Party Rock Anthem, and I can’t help but wonder why people still hatin’.

“Very little art arose out of the Spanish flu” a guest on a podcast recently commented.

Have we seen any great art come out of COVID-19? Has a great podcast, movie, TV show, photo, painting, song, sprung out of the depths of 2020’s pestilence?

Can we talk about indoctrination?

What’s everyone’s thoughts on indoctrinating your toddler with The Muppets?

August photo micro-blogging challenge day 12 📷 Sound // photo from me operating sound for a jam sesh

August photo micro-blogging challenge day 12 📷 Sound (love this sound)

August photo micro-blogging challenge day 11 📷 Transport, take two. I just flw past this on my drone.

📷 The song of the marmoset

The Peggy character in Hamilton is such a Peggy, saying responsible things like “Daddy said to be home by sundown,” reminding the sisters to not go downtown, and just popping in to remind everyone are exists “and Peggy!”

I think Luna needs a Peggy as a sibling.

“Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature, nor do the children of men as a whole experience it. Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing.”

  • Helen Keller

How much of our understanding of reality is shaped by algorithmically-curated, ad-funded digital for-profit products?

I thought Scooter was an antisemitic band. They’re not.

In 1998 the German electro pop band, Scooter, released an absolute banger of an anthem called “How Much Is The Fish?”

I enjoyed this track immensely serving its place as the post-alt-rock 1990’s soother my library was in need of.

Somewhere around 2003 I realised I wasn’t ok with a (misheard) lyric “transforming the Jews” and i filed Scooter away as nazis.

Today Supertramp’s Logical Song was referenced in a podcast, so I turned to my music library to relive the 70s melody. From there I remembered that Scooter released a remix/cover of that song which I revisited, and then pivoted to that scar of a song, How Much Is The Fish?

Turns out Scooter aren’t nazis. They’re transforming the “tunes” and they’re ok with Jews.

I still don’t know how much the fish is.

August photo micro-blogging challenge day 9 📷 Black and white

August photo micro-blogging challenge day 7 📷 Daytripping

🚲 Cherub takes up cycling 📷

August photo micro-blogging challenge day 6 📷 Bisect (maybe? probably not?)

Someone’s thoughts on collective responsibilities

Freedoms and liberties versus trust, society, and community.

“Before we get too hung up on blaming the state govt, or the federal govt, or China for our covid situation let’s review some facts:

  1. We had to bring in mandatory quarantining in hotels, because we couldn’t trust people to stay home after returning from overseas.

  2. We then had to bring in security, because we couldn’t trust people to stay in those hotels.

  3. We then had to bring in ADF, because we couldn’t trust the security guards not to have sex with those in quarantine in the hotels.

  4. We had to get police to door knock and check up on people, because we couldnt trust those who were meant to be self-isolating to actually stay at home.

  5. We also have to have police and ADF reinforce the metropolitan melb zone and state borders, because we can’t trust people to follow the restrictions.

  6. We are now being asked to use masks, because we cannot trust people to social distance when they are in public.

  7. Through it all, our supermarkets have had to introduce shopping restrictions because we couldn’t trust people to not to take more than what they needed.”

Just got out of the car and for the first time in over a decade I thought about having cigarette.

This is the level of stress I’m living at through all this, that my brain thought a cigarette might help.

August photo blogging challenge day 4 📷 Peace (at Coolangatta Beach)

August photo blogging challenge day 3 📷 Bug, but probably not the bug they’re expecting

Saint Valentine of Rome was martyred on February 14 in AD 269 after he continued marrying people when marriage was banned.

Weddings are banned in Melbourne from Thursday.

Will there be a Saint of Batmania?

“But of course there are all different kinds of freedom, and the kind that is most precious you will not hear much talked about in the great outside world of winning and achieving and displaying. The really important kind of freedom involves attention, and awareness, and discipline, and effort, and being able truly to care about other people and to sacrifice for them, over and over, in myriad petty little unsexy ways, every day.”

— This Is Water: Some Thoughts, Delivered on a Significant Occasion, about Living a Compassionate Life by David Foster Wallace

Everyone’s having the great mask debate and I’m over here just dancing by myself.

Feeling horny but might delete later idk tho

Look, if you’re wondering when to get married, Tuesday the 22nd of February, 2022 is pretty cool, because we’ll call it a Twos Day Wedding.

My local UberEats selection becomes super boring/corporate after 9pm.

In case any of you guys wanted to join the illuminati, I’ve got an in

The one thing I know for sure

The one thing I know for sure is also the one thing I am sure I am wrong about. It’s that I am the most important person in the world. That my experiences, thoughts, possessions, and relationships are the most important of them in existence. I have a lifetime of evidence proving it true, but I also know with great certainty that I am not the most important person on the planet, nor does the universe orbit around me.

If I am so sure that the one thing I know for certain, is incorrect, how can I ever be sure of anything ever again.

I feel like a new man after leaving the house to be creative today.

Remember the good ok’ days when we’d leave the house all to make things like photos?

Do people not offended by #cooncheese even buy anything other than supermarket-brand cheese?

Asking for a friend.

Get back to me when your daughter has a PLU on your local cafe’s point of sale system.

Whenever someone talks about closing the boarder I’m always impressed that so many people are renting out spare bedrooms to people who don’t mind being opened and closed.

Check out our Europe 2020 travel photos!

Syncing to the cloud

Watching Luna chase a reluctant mum + 2 kids around the public playground hoping that they could all play together is bringing me much joy.

The mum left the house today certain that the only person her kids would be playing with today would be her.

It took ten minutes but Luna won. She’s now leading the other kids around by hand.

Germs, Withers DNA, dirt and all.

Nice flex, Qantas

Britt and I argue over getting news and information from Instagram or memes, and this is my argument, as written by Terence.

”The whole investigation took me 5 minutes. A Web search, a few clicks, and some ctrl+f‘ing. These are basic skills, and you should use those skills before you share something which sounds too good to be true. Treat any claim without a URl as suspicious.”

- Terence Eden

Luna upon seeing a polar bear IRL. I think it might’ve been a nicer experience if the polar bear was in the wild and we were running for our lives, but here we are folks.

I was tracking flights for January for a wedding I have/had booked in Orlando. I think it just got a little more expensive/impossible.

Luna us leaving home and moving to Sea World

To save you the awkward work of calling your dentist asking if you can pay with exposure, let Ryan Jon do it

Now taking applications for people wanting to join my Mindful Clown Posse. We meet on Tuesdays at 6am for chai tea.

Breaking: Yacht club memberships are rising suddenly in Victoria as the premier rules masts to be compulsory for all Victorians

A music video “filmed” all in a screen recording on a Mac, pretty cool!

That feeling when you’ve done all of Brighton.

What’s everyone’s thoughts on forewords and introductions in books? If they were supposed to be part of the book they’d be chapter one, right? Am I a bad person for skipping them? Am I missing out?

The lockdowns will continue until morale improves

The new FlyerKeeper initiative is a winner, thanks ScoMo ✈️

150 people at a wedding in NSW, but, everyone seated, no mingling, no singing, no dancing. Make sure you invite Kevin Bacon to your wedding.

I’m no psychologist but I’m willing to bet that the elderly man driving his 1970s Mercedes Benz with the windows down through the streets of Palm Beach loudly blaring Iris by the Goo Goo Dolls is having a bad day.

“In Iceland, we are lucky enough to have vast open spaces and beautiful nature that is the perfect place to let out frustrations, we feel this is just what the world needs.” says Sigríður Dögg Guðmundsdóttir, of Visit Iceland. You can send in your scream to be released into the Icelandic wilderness. I highly recommend. lookslikeyouneediceland.com/

Them’s fightin words

She learned how to toilet from me, by sitting there reading for half an hour.

“New York blends the gift of privacy with the excitement of participation; and better than most dense communities it succeeds in insulating the individual (if he wants it, and almost everybody wants or needs it) against all enormous and violent and wonderful events that are taking place every minute.” — E.B. White in Here Is New York

Anyone else in the “out before midnight closing the three rings club?”

The biggest giveaway that my only military service was a school term of Army Cadets is when I need to use phonetic letters on a phone call.

J, for Jackson 5. O, for Oh my god! S, for Sara Bareilles. H, for hold on. U, like you but just the letter. A, for all the letters.

Qantas’s last 747 on it’s Farewell flight past Surfers Paradise this morning.

The @Qantas #747 is a plane that has taken Britt and I so many places around the world, but greater than that, its legacy means that this boy can create marriage ceremonies around the world.

Get the down-low on The Virtual Wedding Fair this weekend by listening to my podcast, The Rebels’ Guide To Getting Married

I’m always asked if I can tell whether a couple will ‘make it.’

I can’t, but the closest I’ve come is right now and the lady in front of me is married to a guy who just texted her ordering a margarita pizza for dinner.

I don’t think margarita pizza guy is also a marriage guy.

Most Australian’s don’t even know that Nelly and Kelly Rowlands' 2002 hit ‘Dilemma’ is about how Kelly was with 2020 but all she could think about was 2019.

Those small business vibes are real. Every day I fantasise about working for some big corporation who doesn’t know who I am but at least I wouldn’t get anxiety opening my email.

One of the hardest things about living in Queensland is that through the depths of winter you often walk outside in shirt, shorts, and thongs, and you’ll think to yourself “it’s a bit cold, I should of worn a thicker shirt”

My inbox is a wonderland, by Josh Mayer.

Hey, just a question from the audience.

How are scammers still in business? How do they afford the phone calls, caller ID spoofers, computers?

How are they still profiting? Doesn’t everyone know that if your phone rings it’s at least a 50% chance of it being a scammer?

Please come to my comedy show

Based on the laughs I’m getting from our toddler as she watches my rehearsals I’m betting that my move into stand up comedy is going to be a raging success, so I’m proud to announce my first touring comedy show.

Come and watch a 38 year old man put a dummy in his mouth, even though he isn’t a baby; watch as this father pretends to take your food if you won’t eat it; be amazed as a Gold Coast marriage celebrant dances with you in front of a mirror.

Tickets are $30.

Luna is upset that I cut an apple up, and she’s now trying to mend the apple by holding it all together, while calling for her mumma.

A metaphor for 2020.

I’ve been trialling the news iOS 14 Back Tap feature and every single activation has been accidental, and any intentional activations fail. So I’m turning it off.

I know I’ve been a whinge guy about COVID lockdowns, and that’s because financially and in our business we’ve had a rough time with it. But reading this …

My iPhone buzzes me, alerting me of some photos it’s curated into a cool album named “Celebrate Good Times”, so I excitedly tap the notification excitedly and it shows me a blank photo album.

Sick 2020 burn, Apple.

For those of us worried our phones are listening, the next version of iOS due out in a few months let’s you know in Control Centre exactly which apps are listening, or have been.

Boat people found

I’m very good friends with 25 letters of the alphabet, I don’t know y.

I’ve been making websites on php based content management systems for over 20 years, mostly Wordpress for the last 17, so I’m struggling to understand JAMstack.

On the chance that you’ve made the move recently, how can I understand it better?

Hey, has anyone made a ‘Victoria - Garden State’ into ‘Victoria - Basket State’ joke yet?

Is this the future of the media? Hot topic opinion pieces by people who don’t exist.

Anyone else in beta club?

It feels really nice and normal to hear flights back into Gold Cost Airport this afternoon.

There’s a new episode of my podcast out, and honestly, I’m pretty bloody proud of it.

Just search for ‘Rebels Guide’ in your podcast app and you should find something around the lines of ‘The Rebels Guide To Getting Married’.

What is a Virtual Wedding Fair? Here’s a snippet of the most recent Rebels Guide To Getting Married talking about it.

Listen/watch on YouTube

Good news everybody, the people in charge of time have decided to not make 2020 one second longer than it has to be. That’s the kind of leadership 2020 needs.

I think it’s time someone called 7-Eleven on their shit. They are open way outside those hours.

The real cost of the travel restrictions is in my sunglasses acquisition and ownership strategy,

Every Bali trip I buy a collection of knock-off Ray Bans and then slowly lose them or break them inbetween trips.

I’m now down to my last pair.

If I’ve got to wear a mask, I might as well look good

Be warned that despite the name, the Disney+ production ‘Hamilton’ has absolutely nothing to do with the Whitsundays island, and instead seems to be about a man who literally published a book about his own sex scandal.

Is this an Alan Jones advertisement or a reportage of a sad story about Alan Jones?

Asking for a friend.

Channel 7 announces it’s glad that Pauline Hanson will be more available for Sunrise now that the Today Show has finally let go of her.

The border township of Albury–Wodonga is set to become the duelling towns of Albury versus Wodonga as the border closes tomorrow!

I’ve got $10 on a Wodonga win, because they have zombies.

I've been pwned, and my password used to be becool88

This screenshot contains two passwords I used to use, maybe 10 years ago. The username and passwords were released in a data dump, and because I am registered with haveibeenpwned.com they let me know today.

I haven’t used those passwords for ages, because I now use a password manager - 1Password - which generates unique passwords for each website I use.

I’m a smart guy, and I know if I’m being scammed or phished, but sometime in the past decade or so I was had - and that that username and password is now available to the general public.

Two things I’d love for you to take away from this:

  1. This is why it’s important to have unique passwords for every service, because if one service is breached, then the potential fallout for you personally is limited to that one company. If you use the same username and password for everything, then if one company is breached, hackers now have access to all of your websites and logons.
  2. Have a look through the publicly available list of usernames and passwords just to get a feel of how unique your password for all of your life is.

America, just think of Kanye West as your rebound president. You don’t need to love your next president, you just need to spend some time with someone else for a while so you can learn to love yourself.

I, for one, welcome our new Yeezy overlords.

How do you break it to your mother-in-law that you eloped in secret?

I’ve got some ideas and they’re in this week’s Rebels’ Guide To Getting Married podcast. Search for ‘rebels guide’ in your podcast app, or find the links at therebels.guide.

If any out of state friends need to get into Queensland to watch an AFL match, or to witness affordable house prices, my cartel is taking expressions of interest in a tunnel.

Apply within.

The year is 2020 and Victorians being smuggled into Queensland is a concern

A change of format to The Rebels Guide To Getting Married

Throughout this COVID time of life I didn’t know where to go with my podcast, The Rebels' Guide To Getting Married.

Then I was listening to my friend’s podcast, Trevor Long’s EFTM podcast, and he’d started taking calls helping people with tech support and tech buying decisions, and I realised that I used to do that for a living - take phone calls on the radio. So I’ve taken The Rebels' Guide to a talk radio kind of format. Think of it like talkback radio for weddings!

I’m a bit rusty on my radio skills, it’s only been a decade, but here’s my first episode back, I hope you love it :)

Search for ‘The Rebels Guide To Getting Married’ on your favourite podcast app, including Spotify, to listen on your phone.

Listen and subscribe here

“‘Right,’ she nods—because there really isn’t a great way to try to respond to an older, popular male talk show host telling you that all men have sexual thoughts about underage girls.” - Elle Magazine on Megan Fox

Because Victoria can’t control it’s Rona, Queensland, hilariously, is now the ‘Home of the AFL’. As a proud Queenslander, let me join the statewide chorus of Go Lions!

Weren’t the eighties a different time. Could you imagine The J. Biebers Band releasing a song today about how Justin’s found his high school crush on the front page of Pornhub.

Having never attended an orgy, and not being educated on orgy culture, is The Beatles’ Come Together an anthem for orgies or is it too obvious an inclusion so dumped from the orgy playlist?

Nothing grounds you more than an email from a potential client apologising for a delay to an email because “this week is a chemo week”

Made the news today

Apple’s Beats 1 radio station launched five years ago today

Five years ago today Apple launched a radio station, Beats 1.

If you were to ever listen, you’d find that it’s a really good international radio station.

It’s just hidden in the back of the Apple Music app, instead of just being present when you turn on your car.

Position is an underrated element of product.

In case anyone asks, I’m listing all of you as deductions on my tax return this year.

It said I can claim any tools I need in my life to do my job.

Name a better Wiggles song than The Wonder Of Wiggle Town.

I’ll wait.

I feel like I’m going through a break-up with the best-laid plans of mice and men.

Hello? Is that the police? I’d like to report a group of people youthing outside my home. It’s past my bedtime and they’re just out there being youth.

If it’s good enough for the finance bros, it’s good enough for me, I’m starting a new year on July 1.

Maybe that will help my mental health?

Just remember guys, we’re all in this together, except Victoria.

Not many people know this about me, but I’m not an astronaut.

‪An email from @Walgreens and @Channel9 about an @abcnews report on @BillGates and @richardbranson investing in #Bitcoin was plausible until I realised the ABC can’t afford this kind of investigative journalism anymore #RefundTheABC‬

I hope there’s someone still employed in media to do one of those cool end of year wrap up videos to enjoy as we all drink ourselves into oblivion on the evening of December 31st, 2020.

I don’t talk about this much, but I used to be married to the idea of sleeping past 7am. Now that I’m a dad, and because Britt wanted us to be exclusive, we had to divorce, but I really do miss sleeping around 8am.

I think the girl walking ahead of me is in real trouble. It smells like she’s drowning. Drowning in perfume. She may be on the way to buy more perfume.

Nestle, why not just rename Chicos to ‘Small Dark Skinned Children Lollie That Has A Racist Undertone’.

Luna’s all about new apple products this week

Things you never think you’ll say to your child: “Do you want to wear a hat while you do a poo?”

I feel like a lot of the opinion on lockdowns is coming from people who’s businesses and incomes haven’t actually really been affected.

When COVID-19 took the stage, the Australian government/s simply wanted to flatten the curve, so we shutdown society and put people out of work. Today the curve has flattened, they’re talking about waiting for a vaccine. Is anyone steering the ship? Where’s the leadership?

Some people think the Hackintosh is dead after today’s Apple announcement about moving to Apple Silicon.

I think Hackintosh will just move to, are you sitting down? Apple Pi.

Try the veal.

#applepi #hackintosh #applesilicon

Luna & I are walking through a local shopping centre when she points at a girl & loudly proclaims “Mumma!”

I look at the teenager & sincerely say “you are the chosen one!”

This is the most fun you can have with a toddler and a terrified girl before the police get involved.

Has anyone considered how the Flight Centre captain is doing through all this?

Melbourne during COVID-19 or the Melbourne Zombie Shuffle?

Only Apple would, and could, run an advertisement encouraging me to watch a keynote presentation at 3am.

Remember that time that K-Pop Twitter and Alt TikTok worked together to make the President of the USA look like a fool?

If Donald Trump is campaining to make America great again, is that hinting that he didn’t succeed the first time round?

“From schools to workplaces, we are told that ordinary negative emotions and experiences—fear of failure, or sadness over a breakup, maybe—should be treated or eliminated. Feeling bad is bad.”

A beautiful article on how it’s ok to feel down

You won’t see this covered by the mainstream media

“Viewers are seduced by the promise of access to hidden knowledge, which will ensure that they alone know what’s really going on.”

Day one running Windows 10 on a 16

My mother-in-law asked for my help seting up a new laptop, a Dell XPS 13 2-in-1, and for the first time in a long time I was sat with a Windows laptop in front of me.

My intial impressions using her machine was that it wasn’t all bad.

And having used a new 16" MacBook Pro for the past few weeks, and finding more and more that MacOS wasn’t the JesusOS I thought it was, I wanted to give Windows 10 a go.

So Boot Camp was run, Windows 10 was installed, and I’m a few hours into the experiment.

A few thoughts: Microsoft Edge is a silent achiever; Windows is a mostly ok operating system these days; mouse/trackpad in Windows still sucks; the 16" Macbook Pro trackpad is very large and Windows doesn’t have palm-rejection so I hate it and want to throw the laptop away everytime my right hand’s palm graces the bottom right of the trackpad; there’s many cross-platform apps available, but apparently I love a lot of Mac-only apps (like Drafts, Tot, Spark); Touch ID on MacOS is a missed feature; Preview.app is a silent achiever on MacOS and is dearly missed; Apple’s Windows software is pretty good on first look; remapping some keys on the keyboard will make life easier; 1Password on Windows is actually a better experience than on Mac … how did Windows get a better 1Password than Mac?; I need to remap the Apple Command key to the Windows CTRL key immediatly after publishing this post (use Sharp Keys for this one); who knew that Windows had a built-in clipboard manager?!

One takeaway anyone should have reading this is that Microsoft Edge is actually a really good web browser, a non-Google but Chromium-based web browser, and it’s worth you trying.

The biggest thing I’m missing today … iMessage. That little “social network” is a powerful ecosystem lock-in.

Turns out I’m a rockstar. I just started riffing on a song about puppies today, the lyrics simply being the word “puppies” repeated over and over and Luna danced along. Please contact Britt for any gig opportunities or interviews.

Audio tweets you say. It’s almost like this isn’t the first time that Twitter has had that Odeo’ea.

Amish on holiday

I don't want to be 'that COVID-19 guy', but ...

So look, I don’t want to be ‘that guy’, but two of the higher profile cases of COVID-19 test in Australia - the bloke in Blackwater, and the Black Lives Matter protestor - are people who’s initial tests were positive, then secondary tests came back negative. Is there at all the slightest chance that this whole COVID thing needs a bit of critical analysis done on it? Slightest possibility that we, as a people, could apply critical thinking and maybe pull back on the fear and the craziness? Reckon we could open some borders, and get some businesses back to work? I’ll be over here in the ranty corner, have a great day.

This is amazing, someone has recreated online one of my favourite things to do, drive through cities listening to the local radio

People: Mainstream media . Also People: wouldn’t subscribe to any media ever

I’m pretty chuffed today. My first commissioned photo was accepted and invoiced today. You’ll see it in the Reece Bathroom Life Showroom in St Leonard’s in Sydney real soon!

Ahhh they took my frickin kidney

The non-believer continues to be shunned. Fifteen years ago Charlie the Unicorn went to Candy Mountain, and now the Grand Finale is rolling out in parts, part one was released last year, part two just dropped, and part 3 is “coming soon”. What a time to be alive.

Proud to announce my campaign to run as President of Australia. My whole message is “that COVID lockdown was a bit much, right?”

I was never prepared to love her this much

Is there an iOS app that looks up telephone numbers through the CallKit Call Directory app extension in a CSV or spreadsheet or something super simple? I’d like to know the name of the caller if they’re in that list, but not enter them in my address book.

You’re going to need to secure your lightbulbs

She loves a book 📚📷

If you’re interested in 1) 2020; 2) financial things; 3) Hertz Car Rentals; and 4) how batshit crazy the world is today; then you’ll enjoy this read.

As a husband to a wife, let me give you some advice:

Don’t let your wife develop a rug dependency. It’s an expensive habit that eventually floors you.

Rugs, not even once.

Black mould is really fighting to win the war on fear against COVID-19

Super proud of Britt for launching The Modern Studio with our friend Harley. A fresh take on the photography studio concept.

A rare photo of a pilot and her aircraft preparing for travel In the COVID-19 era

Dun dun

If you’re missing the luxury of flying economy and inflight meals …

“It had become their daily ritual to check out the shelves of the store for life’s essentials.” – Stripped Bare, by Mark Rutherford

‪Business idea: what if we paid for people to follow politicians and leaders around and hold them to account for their words, and then the reports of these accounts were given to those of us paying for it, and we then made leadership decisions based on the reports?‬

Photo that I love, and Britt hates, from the new Photoshop Camera iOS app.

I can (not at all) guarantee all terrorism would be eradicated within a year if the punishment for terrorism was being forced to move house consistently for the rest of your life.

‪I could never in a million years have predicted CrossFit and JK Rowling being cancelled in the same week.‬

The Withers’ are moving to Palm Beach

When’s the right time to start talking to my toddler about body-shaming dachshund’s by pointing at them and calling them bubbas when we stroll past?

Isn’t it weird how we went grom learning how to cook sourdough bread to learning how to dismantle systemic racism so quickly.

I’ve got $10 that says Howard Stern signs with an Internet-based company by December 31.

And a bonus bet on that company being Spotify.

There’s a virtual wedding fair coming up soon, and I had to record a video for it. I feel like Luna’s really starting to pay her way with this debut.

Happy Queensland Day // June 6, 1863, is the day that Queensland separated from New South Wales. We’re celebrating today by not letting any Rona-Carryin’ New South Welshmen in.

Coolangatta in 30 seconds

Focus has left the building

Dear Jesus/Adobe, how much memory and cpu is enough for you to liberate my people?

Someone: Racism isn’t an issue. CNN: Get Big Bird on the phone.

Ok, so Russell Brand can travel to Erinsborough for a chat with Toadie but I can’t dine in at a restaurant without booking in six years in advance. Who thought Neighbours would be the TV show to drive Australia to riot in the streets.

This is devastating news for Brisbane and Perth alike

Australia’s Media Has To Share The Blame For Our Racist Culture

“Some things are out of our control — like a global pandemic — but some things are very much in our control, like the ability to say no to a story intended to divide people or stoke outrage, the ability to promote more diverse voices, and the ability to not give a platform to the voices that want to divide us.” … read on

‪Wow.‬

‪I’ve just walked out of my apartment and there’s a whole archive of personal data just leaked onto our letterboxes.‬

‪Who’s going to answer for this information breach?‬

It’d be really nice if the solution to hundreds of years of racism, and the dismantling of system that gives people like me boatloads of privilege, could be nicely packaged for me in some kind of online store, maybe even with some bonus frequent flyer points, please.

Walking away from the playground with a screaming baby I tell the other parents, “it’s my first kidnapping, how do you get them to stop crying” so look out for my photo on the news.

Well before John Goodman screamed “you are wasting your time with this garbage” to Macaulay Culkin, and ever since, humanity has been struggling with black or white. Maybe this week we can start ending that struggle.

I saw an old friend’s name in my address book and looked him up on Facebook. He shares an account with his now wife. Rest in peace old pal.

If you've ever wondered what an awkward phone call would sound like

If you have ever wondered what the day’s most awkward phone call would sound like, imagine that you’re a wedding celebrant calling a wedding venue co-ordinator to thank them for referring couples to you recently because you’ve had two bookings there this in the last few days. And the wedding co-ordinator not only doesn’t recommend you, but doesn’t know who you are. I am the one who knocks … awkwardly.

Wouldn’t it be weird if Washington DC protestors drained the swamp.

Censorship and freedom of speech

Lots of talk about censorship from this week from people who must think that its ok for me to come to their house, write hateful and/or untrue things on their wall, and because of free speech they have to leave it there when I leave.

Freedom of speech doesn’t mean freedom of distribution.

Particularly when the speech is a lie or hate.

Take note of the businesses that make it out of COVID-19 alive

Take note of the businesses that get through COVID-19 alive. In the years prior, they saved their money, they played the long game, minimised debt, employed assets and fired those that did not bring value. The businesses still alive and kicking in 2021 were charging what they were worth, and then some, in 2019. They know how to run a sustainable business, and they’re worthy of your trade.

America the brave

Photo from the Associated Press

Lu and I spent some quality time watching COVID-19 press conferences today over bowls of porridge.

Posting this because there’s too many cute photos of her, so this one balances them out.

Who stole the cookie from the cookie jar?

And headline of the year goes to The Atlantic for “The Karen In Chief”

Post of the day

Is the closed borders thing kind of like a grown up version of The Floor Is Lava?

Asking for a friend.

Woah, ok, so sugar daddy means something completely different to what I thought.

Also, how do you get sugar out of your knit sweater?

One man’s rubbish is another man’s photograph

Big lights will inspire you, hear it for Gold Coast, Gold Coast, Gold Coast

The goldenest coast

I think it’s become abundantly clear that Bullock is holding up the general Sandra population.

Stacked it

FYI peppermint is different to pepper with mint.

🌅

Crutch-less nickers sported in Coolangatta

Cool story

Who invented pop up weddings?

Six years on, there are wedding industry peeps still saying they invented pop up weddings, and although everyone is welcome to the phrase (we missed out on the trademark) I wanted to honour Britt in staking our claim in thinking of it.

Who disrupted the wedding industry with pop up weddings? Britany Withers invented pop up weddings.

Britt, aka my wife, thought of the idea in late 2013, I went live with them in early 2014 flailing about trying to figure out how to make them work, and then Britt left her job and joined me full time.

We transitioned from the brand Pop Up Weddings to The Elopement Collective because the brand was so heavily copied and we’d missed the opportunity to trademark it. Plus, Britt didn’t like my graphic design. Businesses were popping up every day using the words “pop up wedding” and most meant something different to what we intended, plus all of them were cheap and tacky, lacking the class, simplicity, and beauty we brought to the space.

Everyone else that does pop up weddings today is welcome to them, but don’t claim to have thought of it and disrupted the wedding industry yourself.

Here’s a few news articles from the time: WAToday, The Daily Mail, Hitched, Intimate Weddings, or just scroll back to the very start of the @elopementcollective Instagram account, it used to be called @popupwed.

I also just did the old scrolly back through Instagram and here’s some highlights, December 6, 2014, when we started transitioning to what we now call The Elopement Collective. That time we took pop up weddings to Hawaii, visited the White Magazine offices, but most importantly, that February 1 first post on Instagram that told the story of the fabled first pop up wedding, where we actually made a loss and could only convince one couple, one lovely couple, to get married at a pop up wedding. The second event, set for Star Wars Day had zero bookings but it did get us on Seven’s Sunrise TV show.

I’m allowed to boast about my wife, it’s socially acceptable to cheer on your favourite human, so I wanted to end on this note. Most people only have the chance to revoloutinise an industry once, but Britt, she not only brought pop up weddings to the wedding industry, she then went on to specialise in elopements with The Elopement Collective. The EC is a market leader, she was first, and she’s the best in her field. Every major market now has someone packaging elopements and you can draw a line back to Britt from all of those innovators.

She’s a pretty amazing girl my wife.

Britty with the good camera

The great hypocrisy in our society today is that we have the privilege, freedom, and the technological ability to publicly condemn Bill Gates, 5G, and China, from our 4G internet connected personal computing devices from not-China.

Through this time where businesses have been shutdown or sent home, and so much connection and communication has been forced online, there has been a real misunderstanding of how to simply be valuable.

Hey I’ve got a passport with stamps on it plus I have a recent model iPhone and MacBook, so does that make me a Global Elite?

Asking for a friend.

You’re A Miracle (And A Pain In The Ass) is a really important book

You’re A Miracle (And A Pain In The Ass) by Mike McHargue is an important book for the humans of Planet Earth.

It’s not important for the ground breaking research or scientific findings it contains, they’re accurately credited to the many smart people that found them in years past.

This book is important because of the important narrative that Mike weaves through the understanding that we humans are beautifully fantastic miracles, yet in so many countless ways thanks to our brains, childhood trauma, and the hyper connected world we live in today, we are massive pains in the asses.

Reading this book has given me so much insight into my own behaviours and just plain old stupid stuff I do everyday.

Thank you for writing this book, Mike 🙏🏻

When reading a book by a podcaster I’ve spent a long time listening to, I’m pretty much listening to an audiobook recorded live inside my head.

My secret superpower is being able to spot someone who sells essential oils from 100m away.

Coolangatta colours tonight

I just realised that the poker night I’m going to tonight requires me to know how to play poker. If you want to know how to play poker, don’t read these three books, they’re useless.

Picked up an iPhone 11 for Britt today.

One of these photos is from my iPhone XS and one’s from her iPhone 11, both shot from our balcony just now, no processing.

I’ll let you guess which is which.

“For example, over 500 businesses with ‘1’ eligible employee reported a figure of ‘1,500’ (which is the amount of JobKeeper payment they would expect to receive for each fortnight for that employee).” www.ato.gov.au/Media-cen…

COVID-19 threatened to take our breath and even our life, but the greatest threat will be that it takes away our common unity, our social nature, our creativity, or simply, our humanity. I hope we can preserve that through the disdain for the other felt in public today.

What a beautiful time to be alive

I love how the internet walks around like the html tags <marquee> or <blank> and things like Under Construction gifs never existed.

“In recent years, there has been a lot of talk about what might come along to “save” the news business from the ravages of the internet. But I think that’s the wrong framing. It’s better to ask: How can we use the internet to reinvent the entire business?“ - Substack

Just went for a drive and listened to a Wiggles album but Luna wasn’t even in the car. Save me.

Today’s Google homework for everyone: Cottagecore.

An easy call to action would be to tell everyone to download the What3Words app, but ultimately, I’d like to see Apple, Microsoft, Google, and other mapping services integrate the service natively. This Tasmanian rescue story is a great example of its power.

It’s a popular theory that Facebook/Google/Apple is listening to our conversations. They’re not, they don’t need to. The data we share everywhere else, like on Untappd, tells a bigger story. Like where an Air Force drone pilot is working.

What does a financially viable media look like?

Most people seem to have a wide gamut of opinions on media, MSM, and how it’s failed, not worth paying for, or there’s too many ads, or al journalists are .

So when it comes to telling our stories, what’s the best business model?

A correct map of Australia, via Reddit

An incredible article on the severely broken economics of food delivery, á la Uber Eats, DoorDash, Grub Hub

Toddler joins in Zoom calls

Toddler threatens to flatten me

As 150+ Australian journalists have been let go today, it’s important to note exactly when the Lynch mob out against “mainstream media” won, and whether that date aligns with when “the bastards” ceased to be kept honest. Funny timing with the new ASIO surveillance bill IMHO.

The internet used to be beautiful IMHO

The internet used to be lovely.

Call it nostalgia, but two of the “former generation” tools that I think made the internet so lovely was RSS and blogs.

Of course, both still exist today, but they’re most definitely not the primary means of sharing and storytelling. So this week when TTThis shared “If I could bring one thing back to the internet it would be blogs” and Daniel Miessler wrote “It’s Time to Get Back Into RSS” I felt like I wasn’t alone in those nostaglic feelings.

Feelings that hark back to a time when the internet was inherently beautiful, with some ugly parts; whereas today it feels like it’s inherently ugly, with some beautiful parts.

As guilty as I stand here being the Facebooking, Tweeting, Newsfeeding, Redditing, boy that I am, I can’t help but feel like all those services are just adding to that vibe that WALL-E predicted, where we’re all just fat content absorbing sobs on hoverboards, instead of the intellectual humans we were born to be.

I think it’s really sad that most Australians can’t even recite the second verse of Fruit Salad #YummyYummy

Throwback to 2009 to the first viral wedding clip on YouTube most of us ever saw

The Rainbow Lorikeets are glad that they’re allowed to gather again

Luna’s loving these new blocks // from Raduga Grëz via Eve of Indigo (nothing I have is sponsored, just shouting out because they’re making beautiful work)

Busted

“The Great Awakening”

Wowowow. This has existed since June 2018 and only now do I get the chance to laugh at it.

Not many people know this but the 1997 All Saints hit Never Ever was actually written about a MacBook that wouldn’t connect to an iPhone’s wifi personal hotspot even though they’re on the same iCloud account.

Business idea: Screenshots of your greatest tweets on your gravestone. Cemeteries become a real world favstar.

Out of all of my issues with Q, of which Adrienne addresses thoroughly in this piece in The Atlantic, the main one is how Q is revered for dropping bombs about child abusers, but Q doesn’t just call the police or FBI on them.

Hey, I’ve just downloaded a random date generator app to my phone if any news agencies want to interview me about when everything’s going to be back to normal again.

I’m so proud to be her dad

11 years a celebrant, 11 things I’ve learned

Tomorrow is my 11th celebrant birthday, 11 years a celebrant, wow, and today I’ve been thinking about all the funny/stupid things the wedding industry bought into my world over the last 11 years.

Here’s a few that have been rattling around in my head.

  • It’s hilarious how far photographers and videographers will go to make it look like no vendors, including the celebrant, were ever at the wedding. I see some wedding photo galleries and films, and there’s not even a slither of my arm in frame lol. What’s with the weird fantasy that no-one was working on a wedding?

  • You’d be surprised how much time of my time is spent confirming which year a wedding enquiry is for, and where the wedding is going to be.

  • There’s a heavy link between people who won’t pay a fee that allows me to maintain a sustainable business, that will still be operating when their wedding comes around, and people who are in Facebook groups after their wedding bitching about how terrible their wedding vendors were.

  • Facebook Groups are the devil.

  • The best wedding vendors have an inner drive to be better. They’re attending workshops, listening to podcasts, upgrading their gear, learning, teaching, mentoring, being mentored.

  • Wedding vendors who aren’t doing those things are probably in a Facebook Group undercutting everyone on price then leaving the wedding industry in a year because “brides are expletive

  • I once had a groom’s dad threaten to beat me up before a ceremony. I’m always keeping one eye on the groom’s parents at a wedding, statistically speaking, they’re the crazy ones there.

  • I think a lot about how in the context of planning a wedding, the words “traditional” and “formal” actually don’t mean anything. People say they want a completely non-traditional wedding then do all the traditional things, and people say they don’t want a formal wedding but state a dress code as black tie.

  • At weddings, more than half the time I’m there I’m trying to patiently wait for things, without looking like I’m waiting. At these times I’m normally singing Wiggles songs inside my head.

  • Finally, beware of anyone who says they “love weddings”. No sane person “loves weddings”. Sane people love that person A and person B are getting married, and that is being celebrated at a wedding, but across the board weddings can be some of the strangest, weirdest, and most wonderful things you could ever see. I’m surprised there aren’t more reality TV shows about weddings. In-fact, I’m surprised I haven’t paid a camera crew to follow me around, it’d be a rip-snorter of a TV show. Sane people don’t love weddings, but they love being a part of the creative process that makes a moment where two people can get married in a special and meaningful way.

  • Facebook Groups are evil.

  • Listen to my podcast, The Rebels' Guide To Getting Married, because honestly, someone has to listen to it otherwise it’s probably just going to get archived by the podcast host.

Beach babes @ Tugun

“Someone in the apartment block is cooking lamb” is the reason I’ll probably be locked up tonight for scaling the balconies of this apartment block trying to find some lamb chops.

🏄‍♂️

Very GC

When a bushfire ravages a land

I drove through a recently bushfire affected region last week. The ground was still blackened, but not as much as the tree trunks. The foliage and grass that would normally cover the bush floor was slowly achingly coming back to something that resembled life, and those trees that survived, still stood tall.

The stand out from the drive though were the two things flourishing today.

The weeds. The surviving trees.

I’m guessing the weeds were the first ones in after the fire trucks rolled out. They love abusing the voids in our society, the empty holes, the spare ground, the unused lots. There will always be weeds, in the bush, and in business. We can’t change the weeds, and history tells us that any concerted effort to introduce other species to eradicate weeds, is a plan fraught with danger and failure. The best way to get rid of weeds is to make the rest of the garden/forest/marketplace as healthy as possible because then there’s no room for weeds.

As for the surviving trees though, they were the most impressive displays.

Obviously their trunks were burnt, and their spirits were dampened, but they metaphorically held their breath long enough for the bushfire to burn through and today thanks to their deep roots, and their strong trunks, they had the leaves just inside them ready to spring out back to action when the fires calmed, the rains came, and the sun shone again.

Any efforts to regrow during the bushfire would have just resulted in more burns. But today those deep rooted, strong trunked, trees are alive with the deepest colours springing out of their leaves.

Be the surviving tree. Be a part of a healthy forest. This too shall pass.

The first and second world wars weren’t called that when they happened. 9/11 wasn’t called 9/11 on the 11th of September 2001.

What do you think this pandemic will be called in 20 years time?

The path less travelled

Version one of May 10, 2020, was supposed to be flying business class as a family to Rome.

Version two sees us with a first class beach upgrade.

So much legroom, and the passengers up the front here are much friendlier.

“Every one of us is, in the cosmic perspective, precious. If a human disagrees with you, let him live. In a hundred billion galaxies, you will not find another.” — Carl Sagan

The Blue Mountains on. a Wednesday sunset

For a guy who boldly asked “how many dudes you know roll like this” and " how many dudes you know flow like this" and then answered “not many, if any” you’d really think Scribe would have released at least a few popular albums.

Apple and Google will both ban location tracking in apps that use their contact tracing – Reuters

Sun, set

South by South West Rocks

Australian street gang approached me last night

For the first time in my memory, this weekend you could see South Stradbroke Island from Point Danger, 45 kilometres away.

I couldn’t get a good photo from Point Danger so this photo is from Currumbin Creek.

If you’re worried about the machines taking over, don’t be too worried, they won’t be able to win us over with their art.

This is AI created heavy metal.

Luna approaches an elderly lady on the beach, I look at them both smiling and say “say hi!” The lady looks my in the eyes and says hi.

So that’s how we got our second child who’s also an elderly lady.

Pizza Hut. Dine In Restsurant. Kirra, Queensland, Australia. 2020. Sad face.

Father of the year, photographs his daughter picking up some seaweed. Seaweed is actually a bluebottle jellyfish. When do I get my medal?

Snapper Rocks in April

Coronavirus hitting the wedding industry isn't all abd

In the first year of going full time with the business of being a celebrant each time someone booked me I’d elatedly call Britt with this overwhleming feeling of joy and emotion that someone would choose me, plus I’d be secretly crying.

After a few years it becomes a little bit normal, still special, but I generally didn’t cry when people booked me.

Just got a booking. Got emotional, told Britt, cried a wee bit. Feels good.

See you in December, Adelaide!

If COVID-19 doesn’t get me, rescheduling weddings and elopements probably will. Welcome to my TED Talk.

Breathing from a hole in my lung, I had no one. With faces in front of me racing through the void in my head to find traces of a good luck academy // Straight Lines

If you’ve ever thought that Facebook was listening, it is, just not through your phone’s microphone, but through your activity. Everything you do, everything you click, everything you like, gives away more than any app released by a government.

Just after the Coronavirus first hit the economy bad, I invested savings, a house deposit, into a managed fund. Today we withdrew that cash so we could buy a house (because we’re currently living in an Airbnb) and I made a 1.9% profit. The Milky Bars are on me.

Australia: Uses their child’s name with a capital first letter then a number at the end as a password, and also has strong feelings about the COVIDSafe contact tracing app’s privacy implications.

The iPhone SE is the last hurrah of each generation of iPhone

The range of hardware seemingly now known as iPhone SE is in some ways the last hurrah for a generation of iPhone.

The iPhone SE 2016 was the ultimate of the iPhone 4/5/5S line, and the iPhone SE 2020 is the ultimate 6/6S/7/8.

John Gruber says it well in his 2020 model review, “Like the iPhone 5-style 2016 iPhone SE before it, the new iPhone 6-style iPhone SE feels like the canonical ideal of the form factor it embodies.”

The iPhone SE of 2023 or 2024 will no doubt be the ultimate, best-of, version of the iPhone X/XS/11 range.

Today in old white male news, one old white man claims that his use of a smirking pose on a dark background with his name in an all caps serif font has been copied. Old white men nationwide are outraged.

New Wiggles > OG Wiggles

What do you think we should build? - Andreessen Horowitz

anyone murdered at all during self-isolation

Homocide Detective: Yeah, it was definitely the wife.

About 10yrs ago I had a burger at a small town in Western Australia whilst driving across the desert to Perth and I haven’t received an email from that burger artist yet to find out how they’re responding to COVID-19. This is super disappointing. It’s like they don’t even care.

I’ll know this virus has gotten really bad when the Qantas On-Hold Music Band start doing free concerts on Instagram Live.

Considering that all of the pubs and bars are closed, is now the time for all of them to agree on a national beer size standard?

I wouldn’t worry about even getting COVID-19 when COVID-20 is going to be released in a few months and it will support 5G.

Walked to Twin Towns for a Checkpoint Charlie (Queensland’s closed border) photo and all I got were these JPEGs.

Don’t forget to wind your clock back to 2021 when daylight savings ends this weekend. Maybe that will help end this?

Could I please ask you to import that fact into Photoshop and blur it a little. I only trust information I read in low-resolution images shared on social media.

I just found out that there’s a dog food called Applaws so everything’s going to be ok guys.

Coming to channel Seven soon: Border Security: Queensland Edition, taking the cool out of Coolangatta.

If everyone is working from home and social distancing, who’s in the Wiggle House? Who’s in the Wiggle House? Who’s in the Wiggle House today?

Who ever imagined that when the apocalypse arrived we’d all be fighting it by standing at the sink washing our hands thoroughly to the beat of I Will Survive?

95% of content on social media this week is pure Coronavirus-related speculation, I reckon.

iPadOS’ machine learning has finally figured out what I do for a living.

After hours mascot

OMG did you hear that everyone is stocking up on wedding celebrants because of the Coronavirus?!

(Just go along with this one guys, it’s a sales technique 🤫)

If I started fake coughing and sneezing on this full flight I’m on right now would that be a hilarious prank or would I be the worst person alive?

Trying to make a photo of a sweet sunset moon and in sneaks a Qantas Boeing 717.

Do you think we haven’t met aliens yet because one time someone didn’t invite them to a wedding and they’ve held a grudge ever since?

Spaghetti is pronounced bisgetti. Prove me wrong.

The ABC (Australia’s for my international friends) has done an outstanding job of documenting the Australian bushfires in this single article. I haven’t seen reporting like this from anyone.

The first bushfire mentioned is 30km/18 miles inland from our home, but we were fine.

Holden, found on rubbish dump.

Holden, found on rubbish dump.

We must abandon the language of the market to reclaim our humanity - Thomas Keneally’s 2020s vision

This podcast with Dave Cheng and Jerry Saltx changed me

When I open an airport hotel, my slogan will be “we don’t smell like an airport hotel plus we have those mattresses that come in boxes”

I’m sorry guys, apparently you can’t trust my glowing Star Wars review because, according to Britt, apparently I’m “too sunny about shit things”

Any other parents carefully curate playlists so it looks to your toddler like you wrote all the songs? Just me?

11:51pm, Wednesday night, Hoyts Sunnybank, current status:

Arguing with two strangers, at the cinema urinal, about the plausibility of jumping between spaceships.

Also, Rise of the Skywalker is an A+ Star Wars movie, and I will fight you over this.

Cr8zy if tru

Li Jin has beautifully named the current era of creative work: the passion economy

If you ever see me being arrested by the Police it’s probably because I tucked in the tag on someone’s top and they didn’t appreciate it:

I felt seen but not herd in today’s ceremony

How to prepare for the 29 Days Club content challenge

Considering getting a full body tattoo to save on clothes. Please discuss.

My idea of a luxury car is one that does not beep.

Luna: Can I ask you an equestrian?

The 29 Days Club, a content challenge for businesses

I’ve heard a few people say that they run out of ideas on what to post on their business' social media accounts.

I’ve got a long history in daily content creation, I did it on breakfast radio for three hours a day every workday for a decade, and today I do it across all of our businesses.

My strategy is to be multi-discipline in my creation, to aim to reach people in many places in many different ways, whilst aiming to be at least inspiring, educational, entertaining, relevant, and demonstrable, if not all five.

If you’re one of those people looking for a kick up the content butt, commit to a 29 day challenge in February

$29 for 29 days of content creation challenges in the 29 Day Club. Sign up at 29days.substack.com and the first email goes out on February 1.

May your day be Australian, your onions be on top of the sausage, and your empathy for Australia’s First Nation people be full.

Imagine if there were no casinos today, and someone tried to introduce the first casino. They would be protested out of town for building a business on the backs of everyone’s financial insecurities.

The day you vote me in as your Primal Munster I will mandate that all toilets will always be available. Wait, you shalt not.

I’m not at liberty to disclose how I know this information, but the Airpods Pro case is remarkably waterproof and soap-proof for something that is clearly not waterproof.

When elected as your Primal Minister, I will standardise coffee cup sizes. No more fancy names. You’ll either get a small, medium, or large.

Honestly, I’m ok with the music industry just pumping out covers of Higher Love from here on out. Why would anyone try and make more or better songs?

If you choose me as your leader, in the first 100 days of my government, we will eliminate all middle seats on aircraft.

As your Prime Minister I vow to make turbulence illegal. We are helping Qantas and Virgin all of the time on so many other issues, and yet they refuse to fly smoothly. They will have to step up to the plate and help our great Country, NOW! MAKE AUSTRALIA GREAT AGAIN.

This is a really well written and even more importantly, well researched, article on the ‘whole 5G thing’ and whether or not it (or wifi or 3G or 4G or radio) causes cancer

When you, the fine burghers of our town, Australia, elect me as your King, I promise that all coffee cup handles will be big enough for at least one, if not two, fingers to go in.

“One of the biggest challenges we face is staying kind with profound disagreement—and staying kind when a mechanism has been set up to make money and power out of hate.” — Penn Jillette

University of SoCal has a class on friendship. It has the longest waiting list for enrolments. This is the world in 2020

Broken Heads Beach, Blackened #AustralianFires

The beach at Broken Head, NSW, is blackened by the soot from the Australian bushfires

It’s all ok guys, everyone settle down. The massive spider I was going to burn down the house to kill, is just a gecho. Nothing to see here, move along.

An idea for Apple and the law enforcement agencies wanting access to the iPhones of criminals.

Here’s a (hopefully) possible and good idea for Apple and the FBI. Instead of Apple building unhealthy encryption-breaking backdoors and the FBI generally complaining about iPhone security, what if iOS often looked for a wifi network that it could always backup to.

Maybe it’s called “Apple Backup” and if a phone has power and it sees that network, it knows the password because Apple has decided the password is something like P@ssw0rd, and when all those stars align the phone backs up to iCloud. Law enforcement agencies can then take the opportunity to take the regular route of making a request through a court to Apple for that data in iCloud.

It seems like a good time to tell you that Britt, Luna, and I are also taking a step back from our royal duties. Don’t @ me bro.

Imagine being the person that created a situation which required people to clarify exactly what kind of farewell they were issuing.

“Bye!”

“Which kind of bye?”

“Oh, sorry, a really good bye!”

Man, John Mulaney’s Sack Lunch Bunch is pure magic.

Great dietary advice

Taumarunui, New Zealand

New Zealand thus afternoon

Welcome to the Twenties, the decade where your Twenties themed wedding will take its inspiration from The Jetsons instead of The Great Gatsby.

Starting 2020 on the Gold Coast

Last sunset of 2019

Last sunset of 2019

Me at the end of 2019.

Me at the end of 2009.

Luna’s about three flights away from starting her travel tips blog.

‪The year is 2200, an elder has gathered children to tell them the story of how many generations ago we would light the sky with fire on the last night of the year, every year, but on one fateful New Year’s Eve we didn’t, and society fell apart and now we all live in caves.‬

A Sydney Morning Herald crime reporter is reporting on one of my family members

Unsplash: zero dollars, millions of feels

Just under three years ago I flew a drone for the first time, and started clicking the shutter button. I had no idea what I was doing, and luckily the original Mavic Pro camera operated at about the same level of tech as an iPhone camera.

I never knew what to do with the photos I made.

I shared them on social media, which was lovely. Some of them even got 10 likes!

I invested in an online gallery, well, a few online galleries, and I sold about three prints.

I submitted photos to stock photo libraries, but nothing really sold there. You can find me on Getty, iStock, Stocksy, all making about zero dollars a year.

So then there’s Unsplash, which feels like a melting pot of loser photographers like me, where the photos I made have earned me zero dollars, I know that over 40 million people have at least seen the photos. About 200,000 people have downloaded and used my photos. This particular one has been viewed over 4 million times in the past 4 days.

Money’s nice, and exposure doesn’t pay the bills, but there’s something about my nothing becoming something, something about being seen, that fills my heart up.

A really intelligent and moderated 15 minute report on the decade ahead in Australia regarding domestic issues, politics, and our position in the global ranks. Must listen.

Please send help, I think our village is being gentrified.

A failing cafe has reopened as a trendy bar with a meaningless name, and this afternoon trendy people wearing colourful bodysuits and fancy earrings are walking out streets.

What should I do?

Journalists are just grown up dibber dobbers. Discuss.

12 months ago we bought a house, today we have a home

Luna’s becoming less and less keen on this Santa bloke

‪Guys, Big Exercise just wants us to keep on doing exercise so we live longer so we can do more exercise. This whole exercise thing is a corporate scam! #BigExercise‬

Finally, a hero has risen, to liberate nerds from the shackles of conventional manliness by making an offering of a ute, but for nerds.

All hail, Master Elon Musk, saviour of the nerds, the Steve Jobs of utes.

#tesla #cybertruck

“If a friend is in trouble, don’t annoy him asking if there is anything you can do. Think up something appropriate and do it.” - American Novelist, E.W. Howe

The Mandalorian is like a soap opera for nerds. I have spoken.

Tasmania, November 2019

I’d like to dedicate this award to the gent sat next to me on this flight, in the middle of three seats, who chose to sleep on the other guy’s shoulder.

Breaking news: Qantas flight attendants to start wearing body cameras.

A local truth teller has scribbled out the T off the Tweed Heads northbound exit sign off the Pacific Motorway.

A few years ago I had that blog and podcast called Unpopular, and what @cabel is talking about is what I was trying to explore.

For context, this tweet is about @1Password taking on $200M investment for growth.

I think about this “often unexplored middle ground” daily.

Here’s a #VeryGC story. In Apple Store, dodgy guy next to me was owed $150, so the debtor gives the guy (I reckon he’s a dealer) an Apple Watch & the alleged drug dealer is in the Apple Store looking for a valuation. He “doesn’t really do Apple stuff so I’ve got no idea”

Finally, a piece of mobile computing hardware that could drag me from the Apple ecosystem.

If only it didn’t run Android.

www.inverse.com/article/6…

Peeps interested in podcasting will really enjoy this state of the union chat between Jordan Michaelides and James Cridland on the Uncommon podcast - overcast.fm

The real life of social mediaing

On the road again // Iceland

Dynjandi, Westfjords, Iceland

I’m a sucker for an Icelandic hot pool

Zain, Luke, me, slowly broiled

This hot pool is the only source of water for a local farm, so to get cold water they have to literally cool down the natural hot water!

Icelandic horses are so beautiful

As emo as they look, Icelandic horses are still pretty cool.

Did you know that Iceland has the most purebred horses on the planet? Google has better info on it than I do.

Loo with a view. Ísafjörður, Iceland.

Buoakirkja Black Church, Búðir, Iceland. Not the boudior church, rookies mistake.

Friday

Watch out fellow youths, I spotted a wild boomer this morning just walking around the shopping centre stealing our homes and futures.

Carry an avocado on you to smash in their face in case they approach you wanting to know what their Apple ID password is.

Reykjavik, Iceland

Tuesday

Wednesday

Friday

Vick’s black sand beach, which is next to the famous Black Sand Beach. Iceland is confusing.

Iceland‘ s Black Sand Beach

Police are now targeting people who taste too many ice-cream flavours before ordering at Baskin Robbins, like, they’re all ice-cream dude, there are literally no bad flavours, gosh.

According to the recipient of a domestic violence at the Coolangatta Court House just now, there is just too much paperwork around DV.

Have you considered not violently offending you partner, DV boy?

Jetlag is real. Welcome to my TED Talk.

Icelandic moss

Found some Icelandic volcanic activity on the drone

Öxarárfoss, Iceland

Bridge over icey waters

Selfie with Harley

Around þórufoss, Iceland

þórufoss, Iceland

Reykjavik, Iceland

PSA: the next two weeks of Josh-flavoured spam will be Icelandic, Finnish, and Japanese in flavour.

Luna’s first birthday party!

Insert an interesting comment here about how the most popular Christian worship album this weekend won’t be heard in churches because it has Kanye’s name on it.

Dads love bringing backpacks to weddings.

Would you rather fight a Hillsong sized Kanye or a Kanye sized Hillsong?

Photos From Drought-Stricken Kerry In Outback Queensland

The first meeting of earth’s most disrespectful people wraps up today at Uluru.

The news in Australia is under siege

Well-produced, true, meaningful, helpful, locally relevant, news and information publishing/distribution that isn’t rooted in fear or control, is under siege.

Four stories about the news are on my mind today.

The first is about Newsweek, once a stable of American news publishing. Today however, the publication is fighting, not for life, but for clicks, views, and dollars, all whilst whittling away what trust anyone had in its pages. The lede for the story tells it all: “No one working at Newsweek can tell me why it still exists.” Newsweek used to set the agenda, now it writes viral headlines that Google will throw searchers to.

The second is about a radio station where I worked for about two years, Brisbane’s news and talk radio station 4BC. The Courier Mail reports that the automation computer that identfies as a ‘radio station’ is moving to its new owner’s premises, Channel Nine’s Brisbane studios. When I was there the radio station was local from 5am to midnight, with every single hour on-air being dedicated to creating content that informed and helped the Brisbane community. Now it’s just a Sydney radio station that plays Brisbane ads in between. There was a team of producers scouring the region for great stories to tell, and a newsroom dedicated to describing the current state of Brisbane. The radio station once had a massive staff, and now 4BC is literally a computer with a soundcard.

The third is from Stratechery’s Ben Thompson in his article The Internet and the Third Estate: “The first three estates are commonly thought to be the three branches of government: the executive, legislative, and judicial. It is the press that holds all three accountable, and in Zuckerberg’s telling, the Fifth Estate that gives everyone else a voice.” Ben goes on in great detail about how the first, second, and third estates, across America and Europe have not only evolved over time, but been the cause for great changes in power. Mark Zuckerberg is really pushing for Facebook to lead the fifth estate revolution that can only end terribly, because social media doesn’t make you an asshole, you already were one and social media can shine a light on it.

The fourth story is simply how Australian newspapers this week redacted their front pages in protest to the limitations our federal government has been imposing on the press.

Many of us are indulging in retrospection as we mourn the news as we knew it, but the fourth estate, and the fifth, as we once knew it wasn’t the healthiest lion in the pride. 4BC was launched so that John Chandler, of Chandlers fame, could sell more radios. Many Australian newspapers find their roots in manipulative power and control, instead of the noble cause of telling the news as it is. Facebook started as Mark Zuckerberg’s answer to finding out whether girls really were hot, or not.

Meanwhile there is a community trying to wring something good out of the bloody cloth that we have known as the news. Organisations like The Guardian, New Matilda, and Crikey, are working on new and different business models for the news while Australia’s publicly provided media, the ABC and SBS, are being defunded quicker than our Prime Minister can ask ‘how good is the media?!’

In an industry plauged by so much corruption, failing business models, and excessive noise, the future of the news looks bleak and on fire.

But I wonder if what we need is for the entire house to burn down so we can actually rebuild on the remaining foundations?

Billy’s dealing with the real issues.

A home day (Tugun, Australia)

Australian newspapers today … #righttoknow

When I’m rich I’m going to email airplane manufacturers asking for quotes on new planes whilst letting them know I’m on a budget.

Friday night road trip

The hardest thing as an adult is to push a shopping trolley through the supermarket without lifting yourself up onto it after a good push screaming ‘weeeee!’

When Britt leaves Luna alone with me for a week…

Pixar is simulating real camera lenses and mimicking techniques like split focus diopters in its movies and it’s amazing. The real fake cameras of Toy Story 4

This is the garage where Apple Inc started. It felt surreal to stand here today, a place of so much myth. An origin story like many, that actually resulted in the world’s biggest company today.My favourite part is how the iPhone wasn’t even a thought at this stage.

The first rule of wifi club is that you don’t upload or download on wifi club

I put effort into my AirBnb reviews

Bad news about Donald Trump, he’s high in calories

The best thing about sharing a Lyft ride is the look the riders give each other when they enter the car, all knowing that none of us are as cheap as all of us.

Le Labo

Broads

Echoing the thoughts of every other basic b* that has bought a Series 5 Apple Watch: always on is a game changer. Even after a few hours you appreciate the watch more. Also, because I bought it in the USA, I’ve got an ECG!

🦆 for dinner

On travelling to New York with a baby

Many have messaged us about travelling with a baby, so I thought I’d share a few thoughts about bringing Lu to New York.

So firstly, we’re not travelling with a baby, we’re travelling with Luna, she’s almost a fully formed influencer with diet shakes and essential oils ready to sell you. Seriously though, Luna’s just one of us, eating the food we eat, going to the places we go.

Secondly, prams in New York are a bit tough if you want to take the subway. We’re rocking a Babyzen YoYo which I recommend highly, but you’ve got to carry it up and down the stairs. The rare subway station has an elevator, but most don’t. Lord knows how people in wheelchairs get around.

Thirdly, the drug stores and supermarkets here have some pretty good baby food. At home we make her food, but out here she’ll eat off our plate but mainly she’ll demolish/suck the organic goodness out of the plastic sleeves Whole Foods sells.

Finally, I appreciate the slightly slower pace a baby brings. Too many people want to see New York in a day. It just doesn’t work like that, and having to stop for nappy changes, sidewalk bottles, or not leaving the Airbnb until after her first nap is a reminder to take it slow and to smell the roses (or the stench on the sidewalk).

Georgia & Tim + me marrying them + Luke Fletcher shooting them @ the Wythe Hotel, Williamsburg

Williamsburg

🚲

🏨

🍺

🚇

⌚️

Not many stores in New York have a line simply to enter and peruse

The bus

Casa Magazines with my two

The proprietor of Fashionable Male

🐦👤

Luna, in the hood

Me, at work, in the greatest city in the world

🍦

🌙

🤮 Street Photography

⚰️

NYC streets

1WTC

Google Maps AR is super helpful in NYC

🥰 // Britt

🌙 Luna // In New York before her 1st birthday

Call mum

Content creation

🐘

Slide to the left, slide to the ride

Subway: wedding transport

I miss Mr Robot

Coney Island

Please donate to this guy’s GoFundMe

“Hi, can I please speak to the It’Sugar CEO about correct grammar?”

Went to camera heaven & a Jewish guy sold me a lense

If you want a photo of the Brooklyn Bridge, ask Ash

NYC subway crew

The Pope, on adjectives

“We have fallen into the culture of adjectives and adverbs, and we have forgotten the strength of nouns … beauty manifests itself from the noun itself, without strawberries on the cake" — Pope Francis

Who ever thought we’d be quoting the Pope on adjectives. But here we are, and I like it.

Does anyone have a mum or a grandma (even in a nursing home) in Leura, Katoomba, or Wentworth Falls? I’ve got an extra (unused) an amazing bridal bouquet that needs a home tonight.

Please, please, please, subscribe to my Youtube channel so I can get past 100 subscribers and get a youtube URL. xoxo www.youtube.com/channel/U…

That face when you’re pooing on your father

Do it yurtself

I’m sick of being judged by dogs in cars for not driving with my head out the window and tongue out of my mouth.

Police are now targeting people who call the phone or computer wallpaper, a screensaver.

To celebrate our almost 200th member at the Celebrant Institute I’ve redesigned our home page … I highly recommend hiring a web designer …

We live a few hundred meters from Gold Coast Airport T1 & T2 so I’m a little worried about finding this spray painted on our kerb this morning.

“He had some rote knowledge of cockpit procedures as handed down from the big manufacturers, but he was weak in an essential quality known as airmanship.”

This piece in the NYT is not dissimilar in narrative to stories I’ve heard from two Qantas pilots.

This story 😟 One man’s 33-year fight for his daughter takes him to second royal commission

For Yoey, that move would be the start of a three-decade journey.

In May 2018 I theorised that Apple’s ultra personal computing platform would diverge into a Wrist-first CPU and an Apple Camera. As I read @gruber’s iCamera piece I wondered whether my theory might not be far off.

They said I could be anything

The makers of Mini Metro have made a new game for Apple Arcade called Mini Motorways. Shut up and take my money, Apple.

One day, when I grow up, I’m going to open a cafe where the tables do not wobble. I’ll call it ‘The Good Cafe’ because that’s obviously what it is.

Swell Sculpture Festival 2019

A sunrise tour of Currumbin Beach’s Swell Sculpture Festival

Whatchathinkbout?

The latest in private cloud storage technology // Swell Sculpture Festival

The city that rocks together stays together 🤘🏻 #brisbane #theamityaffliction

The new ABC Head of Editorial is being shown around the ABC Gold Coast Studios.

What a time to be alive. You can watch a live stream of Ikea furniture making it’s way from Sweden to Australia. It takes two weeks, today is day two. Captivating.

www.youtube.com/watch

The number one thing I’m asked for help on is writing wedding vows, so here’s a rebel’s guide

Wednesday sunset at the Gold Coast fires

‪On August 10 someone in Brazil made a $1.62 AUD payment through my manual payment page on my website. It allows people to pay their invoices in ful or part by entering their details and how much they want to pay, and Stripe processes the payment.‬‪It seemed weird at the time.‬This week the assumed scammer has disputed the transaction.At the time of the transaction I notified Stripe that I believed it was a scam of some sort, and now that they want to charge me a $25 dispute fee I’m reminding them of that conversation, but …What do you think the scam is? I’m always fascinated by internet scams and how they actually make money. How is paying me $1.62 then disputing it actually making the scammer money?

Mount Warning // Monday afternoon // sunset// bushfires nearby

Monday morning on Australia’s Gold Coast as the bushfires continue to destroy our hinterland

Chasing

I guested on the Wedding Photo Hangover podcast with Steven & Dustin, I think you’ll like it: Adventurous Elopements and Drone Photos

My series three Apple Watch decided to become vulnerable and reveal itself to me today

Sunrise at the Glass House Mountains

Neighbourhood Watch, reporting for duty

Mackay, September 2019

Live from Mackay, it’s Thursday night!

Sunset from Lamberts Beach, Mackay, Queensland

Burleigh Heads

“Mature people choose joy, immature people chase joy” - Dan Gorry

So glad to be a dad on Father’s Day 😊

‪I think I’m now involved in a game of internet Chinese whispers? Pass it on?‬

Good morning, Gold Coast

Good Coast Show Day #goldcoast #goldcoastshow

Relinquishing my unused wedding business names

I saw recently that Ricky Gervais recently let go of the band names he’d been holding on to and I felt inspired to do the same.

Here’s my wedding business names I’ve realised I’ll never start. Feel free to use them.

Isle Marry You – for celebrants who do weddings on islands.

Aeiou – a stock standard vow service.

I Donut – a rebrand for the celebrant trying work less so they can spend more time with their family and donuts.

I Due – a celebrant who specialises in weddings for pregnant women.

Something Burrowed – for the Cooper Pedy celebrant.

Canaloupe – a celebrant who can offer elopements and also likes fruit puns.

Meowied By Name – if you’re a cat lady and a celebrant.

Maui’d By Name - for celebrants on the island of Maui.

In Tents Ceremonies – a celebrant service that offers really intense ceremonies but is packaged with a tipi.

For Butter Or Worse – for a celebrant who is out of the ordindairy.

Pitcher Perfect Weddings – one if you’re a wedding photographer who also brews beer and serves it in your photo shoot.

The Rodecaster 2.0 upgrade is really good … I wish I had more time to use my unit, I’m just abrely at home at the moment.

Green mountain blue II 1978 - more details

Home time

🌲

🏔

🏔 Kosciusko

❄️

🚗

Today’s office

🏔

Can you see your first phone in this collection at the Telstra Heritage Exhibition?

Can you see your first phone in this collection at the Telstra Heritage Exhibition?

T

I love a sunburnt country, A land of sweeping plainsOf ragged mountain rangesOf droughts and flooding rains.I love her far horizons I love her jewel-sea,Her beauty and her terror,The wide brown land for me! — Dorothea Mackellar

Surprise, I’m an #avgeek

On Saturdays we airport (with @qantas because I’m not an animal)

12:46amBrisbane AirportWhy am I awake?

❤️ Lake Tekapo

🏔

Why is NZ architecture so much more delicious than Australia’s?

Tekapo

Blue

Sunset at Lake Tekapo

🚣‍♂️

The seagull wants a closer look at my drone, so I cropped in a closer look at him

🌲

🌲

When I told her she was 10 months old today

Britt as we drive home from a date night out in Queenstown: when we get home can you remind me to Google if Cameron Díaz and Benni Madden are still together?

🔺

‪Who amongst us hasn’t had a few Presidential tweets and gone on a late-night Greenland run?‬

DragonDictate has admitted it has listened to audio messages, claiming it was an effort to improve its voice recognition systems.

Arrowtown

🏔

Dolphins seem to use Pufferfish to get high, via the Smithsonian

Last light in Arrowtown, New Zealand, tonight

Last light #arrowtown

Adobe really missed an opportunity here for there to be Lightroom Girls. via NBC

What if Area 51 was every Victoria’s Secret store? That’s some Men In Black level secret hiding going on there.

I started thinking about Britt and my wedding, seven years ago next month, and what we would have done differently. It’s something I’m asked by most couples.Honestly I’m picking at straws to think of things I would change. We had a ball!I often tell people that if I could go back I’d probably change our decision to have a bridal party. Ours was full of fine people, but it’s probably the only slack I’d cut off. We’d still get ready together with the same people, and I’d still get Scotty to pray for us and Ash to make a speech, but I just wouldn’t force them to stand up with us in matching clothes.Oh, I would also get Michael Eotvos to come and play live music through the ceremony instead of getting our mate Andy to DJ the ceremony.What would you change about your wedding?

Talking about retail figures, this guy’s a genius, and might just be the saving grace retail needs, not sympathetic news articles about it’s decline — Barnes and Noble’s New CEO Just Revealed a Brilliant Plan to Save the Company

Every day there’s news reports about retail figures being low. Is that how we measure our success as a society? By how much money is spent at David Jones and Myer?

You are what you measure.

I’d suggest we measure something other than sales at cash registers.

It’s like measuring the number of phone calls made to see how healthy we are as a society.

“Imagine this: A shooter has entered a public place, where you are walking with your family. You have but a minute to realize you can save your 2-month-old by using your own body to shield him from the bullets raining down around you. Mere days later, your baby, the youngest survivor of the El Paso massacre, will appear on television with the very man who inspired the terrorist who killed both you and your husband. A photograph is taken, for posterity.” // Trump’s Horrific Photo with El Paso Victim Paul Anchondo

If you ever lose some something and have to report it to Queensland Police, know that they have a category for everything.

🏖

Paradise

Gloucester Island

🌴⛰

🚤

🦷

🐍

Seven’s Sunrise breakfast TV show is on in the hotel lobby so I’m watching it for the first time in years.

It’s essentially Kochie and friends giving rolling commentary of the daily social media feed.

It’s a live call of the internet.

Sand bunkers gone wild (abandoned golf course)

Sand

Ocean

Low tide

The abandoned Laguna Quays Resort

Laguna Quays and the Turtle Point Golf Course is classical 1990s Queensland foreign investment gone bad. My favourite is the international airport which got as far as a runway missing bitumen. It went into receivership and it hasn’t changed much since I first saw it abandoned in January 2012. Photos shot today, August 11, 2019.

Airline Beach, according to autocorrect // this weekend’s office in the Whitsundays, Qld, Australia

Airline Beach, according to autocorrect

“Don’t worry Wilson, I’ll do all the paddling. You just hang on.” // Airlie Beach, Qld, Australia

The Gold Coast is a pretty special place to call home

“It’s pleasantly ironic that some of the internet’s oldest open protocols are shining through, with email newsletters and podcasting standing tall” Podcasting is media’s slow food movement

If there’s something strange in you neighbourhood who you gonna call? Alien Patrol!

We got to the chopper

Luna // Bunnings

Was I feeling scared, scarred, or sacred. I’m still unsure.

A lot of you have been asking where I get my under-arm deodorant from, and this is totally not sponsored, but it’s the grocery store.

Yesterday’s office // Skipper’s Canyon, NZ

Rubbing the sleep out of my eyes over a morning coffee has seen some of the “sleep” fall into the coffee. Do you drink the coffee?

From Coronet Peak to the Crown Range

The Remarkables truly are remarkable

I think I’d like to stay here a while

I have the best job in the world

Shot, blocked

❄️ First snow // Queenstown NZ

Cardrona on a Sunday

Cardrona, New Zealand, on a Sunday in July

Coromandel Peak on a Monday

Whenever I see people using a Microsoft Surface in the wild, I always think they’re filming an ad for Microsoft Surface or they’re influencers.

Our unborn baby just looked up at me and said “Daddy, why do people make up things their kids said and post them on the internet?”

Now that my barber blew the cut hair off my shoulders with her coffee breath I know for a fact I’m having a worse day than you.

Most people wouldn’t realise that before Thomas Edison invented the light bulb, moths and insects were the dominate species on earth. Edison was the first person to finally control them with light bulbs.

Flying business class on Jetstar today, which is pretty much like walking with socks on instead of barefoot #JQ57

🏄‍♀️ like ants to a crumb

Ok, so I’ve got an idea, it’s like porn but the videos are of people replying to then archiving the last few emails in their inbox until it’s empty.

Saturday surfers at Burleigh

Nothing unites Australians more than a speed camera as we all double-flash our headlights frantically.

“One of the penalties for refusing to participate in politics is that you end up being governed by your inferiors.” — Plato

Hello, Saturday, from Australia’s Gold Coast

“The simple fact is that you most likely don’t know why your competitors are priced the way they are.” - ThinkSplendid

I wonder if motorcycle riders with loud exhausts find the polite and subtle sound of regular city cars really annoying? Or is it only us?

“There is not a religion in the world that asks you to tolerate thy neighbor” - Justin Trudeau

An Apple Camera, a fan theory

Posting a hot Apple theory I just imagined because in 5 to 10 years time, when it comes true, I want to link back to this post to proclaim how right and intelligent I was for a second.

The iPhone has a short life ahead of it. The iPad is encroaching the iPhone’s purpose on one side, and the Watch on the other. On the side of that note, the iPad is also taking up the oxygen in the market the MacBook is leaving, and the MacBook is going to retract to a desktop/home computer. So, the Apple Watch is becoming more and more powerful, and will take the “central processing unit” elements the iPhone currently provides to your personal computing life and interconnectivity.

The iPhone fades away, you’ve got an Apple Watch on your wrist, and an iPad in your backpack, and the breathing room left in the market is a camera. You don’t want to be taking photos on your 10.5" iPad and the Watch is too small to take a good photo. Does Apple leave cameras to third party manufacturers like it has monitors and wifi routers? No, it loves the camera.

From May 2018, my bold prediction for the future of Apple is an Apple Camera.

That #NappyConsent person replies, this is good: #NappyConsent Woman Deanne Carson On What She Meant

First real attempt iPad podcast remote recording - recording on an iPad Pro, on an Apogee Mic+, into Ringr, will edit on Ferrite

Fascinating long read on the commercial side of the eyeglass market and the global monopoly behind Aussie brands like OPSM, Laubman & Pank, and Sunglass Hut: The spectacular power of Big Lens

“No one in the world ever gets what they want and that is beautiful”

Why do old guys with crazy/weird hats also wear crazy/weird vests? Are crazy/weird clothing items only available in that combination deal?

Which show is the designated survivor for Designator Survivor?

Delays and cancellations through the roof in Sydney due to strong winds, thank god I jumped on an earlier flight in

Last Thursday my iPhone went into a continous restart loop, and trying to restore on iTuens doesn’t fix - it needs an Apple Store - and I’m not going to be at one til Thursday. So my Series 3 Apple Watch with LTE has become my phone. It’s not a great phone …

App idea: It’s like an ad blocker, but it’s a royal blocker. I know that reporting on the royals is how some media make money, but honestly, please just show me more ads. Maybe as I visit your site hit me with a popup begging me to opt-in, or whitelist you for royal coverage.

It’s always exciting when you find out a call centre is using a Cisco PBX. That on-hold music is everything.

Autumn // Arrowtown, NZ

tennis here

The iPad life just got a little sweeter: test recorded a podcast on my iPad Pro today using Ringr to record locally on each end, with an Apogee MiC+ on my end, and then Ringr gives me a ZIP file which Ferrite can unzip in the app, and boom, we’re editing!

Hi, my name is Josh and I’m a Kanyewesttweetsholic. I’d been clean for almost a year, but something happened this last week.

My otherwise intelligent and lovely accountant has started regular email news updates about business related laws and news, but the email subjects are in ALL CAPS. So now I’m looking for a new accountant.

April 25th

Please support my Kickstarter to raise $50,000 so we can holiday underwater.

This podcast edition is a really important conversation for wedding celebrants (and humans) to have, because the words, the conversations, communications, inside a wedding are our responsibility: “Gay weddings” are not a thing, they’re just “weddings”

Straw poll: Have you ever hired a photographer or bought a photo, because of a watermark on a photo? I wonder if they’re not there for marketing reasons why else we would watermark. Copyrighted work owners deserve the right to decide how their work is used, but watermarks?

At their wedding I officiated over one year ago, it was illegal for Brendon & Brad to marry in Australia, but not today!

Great way to highlight to the public that there is a home-alone Japanese woman inside a house: a shadow boxer on closed curtains #idiocy

Hot tin roof // Kalbar, Qld

Bow of rain // Kalbar, Qld

Up standing performance

Your marriage should be better than your wedding.

For over two years I’ve been enjoying a daily tech news email with an Aussie slant plus a bit of snark called The Sizzle. While the editor is on holidays I’m one of three producing the email and we’re doing work I’m proud of + I think you’d love it.

The Monocle’s Urbanist podcast today features Brisbane’s CityCat ferry network and now I’m thinking, I’d love to catch a CityCat to BNE.

Amazon Australia has started casually leaving stuff around your house.

She likes me for meee, not because I look like Tyson Beckford

Making a big change to our business today, which I’m a little bit scared of, so if you could just reply with a “this won’t fail” comment that’d be great, thanks 🤜🏻

Byron Bay, Australia // Wednesday

Inspiring Elon Musk read via Electrek

Most of the design tolerances of the Model 3 are already better than any other car in the world. Soon, they will all be better. This is not enough. We will keep going until the Model 3 build precision is a factor of ten better than any other car in the world. I am not kidding.

Our car needs to be designed and built with such accuracy and precision that, if an owner measures dimensions, panel gaps and flushness, and their measurements don’t match the Model 3 specs, it just means that their measuring tape is wrong.

Some parts suppliers will be unwilling or unable to achieve this level of precision. I understand that this will be considered an unreasonable request by some. That’s ok, there are lots of other car companies with much lower standards. They just can’t work with Tesla.

I ❤︎ Patterns

I spent most of Ready Player One trying to figure out who was voicing i-R0k. Erlich Bachman, of course.

If you ever want to fall down a rabbit hole of wonder, just think about how someone loves you … and how that doesn’t make sense, but they love you for you. Thank you for loving me, Britt xx

📽 Ready Player One 💯

At the age of 36 I’ve found out that my last name is an “Old Norse personal name Viðarr, composed of the elements víðr ‘wide’ + ar ‘warrior’”. Joshua Wide Warrior. Ancestry dot com is the website equivalent of a high school bully.

If you’re booking VA flights here’s a 10% off economy and 30% off biz seats promo code valid for the next week: KLT69

The Blue Mountains // Sydney // Australia

When I’m president I’m going to regulate the pillows that serve no purpose industry. They’re out of control.

If you’re wondering about the exotic dream life of a marriage celebrant, last night I spent the entire night in my dreams trying to find a hotel room in Bundaberg because in my dreams I was performing a wedding there …

Proud to announce that “Navigating Sydney roads with an Apple Watch because the phone is in for repair” is the title of my next horror movie production.

Will tablet computers replace desktops/laptops? This analogy from Steve Jobs pretty much sums it up.

sunset.friday.sydney

I’m travelling for six nights with an iPad only, if that kind of thing interests you, read this

How are more people not freaking out over the Australian government’s facial recognition deal

Qantas vs Virgin

In the last year I’ve been trying out both Qantas and Virgin. I simply wondered why so many of my friends were Virgin frequent flyers.

After reaching Virgin Gold thanks to a status challenge from Qantas Platinum, I’m pretty sure I’m going to continue to keep status with Qantas. Before I list the issues with Virgin, a positive note is the extra flights and lounge opening times out of Gold Coast airport. The Qantas GC lounge isn’t open for early morning Jetstar International flights and even only opens one hour before the early morning Qantas flights. But on every other note Virgin is only an average airline. My biggest complaint being the 23kg luggage limit even for Gold frequent flyers (my PA system is 32kg). But other issues are the protein bars they call meals, their inflight entertainment app is buggy, and their iOS app is buggier. Plus, the Sydney Virgin terminal, T2, is a pain compared to Terminal 3 for Qantas in Sydney.

If you’re a Virgin flyer, you might want to know about the Qantas Tier Accelerator

According to the ABC Quiz, I’m not that fancy

Thursday In Port Douglas

On the off chance anyone cares I wrote a little piece for #TheSizzle about how I’m taking a step back from Facebook and going all in on Micro.blog

Vodafone thinks its mobile network is better than the NBN for lots of Australians #guffaw

Australian wine region, the Hunter Valley “set” to become the new, New Silicon Valley of Australia /sarcasm

This sequel to The Social Network doesn’t seem to have the consistency and production values as the first movie.

record scratch freeze frame yup. that’s me. so you’re probably wondering how I got myself into this situation

Can’t believe I forgot to celebrate Rex Manning day this year

Very GC #GC2018 #GoldCoast

Oddly proud to see the Gold Coast light up this week. It’s not the ghost town it was last week. #GC2018

Ok, I hope you’re sitting down for this banger: Chicken salt, the musical. And someone call Hugh Jackman, he’s needed back home for a career defining role in Peter Brinkworth.

🌲🛁

It’s like the Skype product team have realised that the only reason people use Skype anymore is for recording podcasts

Look, I’m not going to tell you how to live your life, but if you delay feeding a cat by 30-60 minutes they get super affectionate.

I’m unsure if the Scam Artists Industry will ever recover from Tony Robbins misogyny.

African news crew in my #GC2018 car this morning asked what the crime rate on the Gold Coast was, and “where is the ghetto?” I’ve never considered how low our crime rate was, nor how blessed we are to live here.

Roy & HG praising the #GC2018 merchandise on the radio this morning: “I love the Peter Beattie doll, you wind him up and he just starts talking!”

🛶

David Letterman with Malala Yousafzai is so beautiful. ‘My Next Guest Needs No Introduction’ is a 10/10 show!

Proud to see the Gold Coast featured in the Monocle magazine’s daily email

What are weddings for? A piece by me on Medium.

Billion dollar business idea: a restaurant with all the markings of a hatted restaurant, but when the menu comes out, there’s only Coco Pops available for dinner. Rare, medium, or well done? Soy, almond, or full cream milk?

Anyone in any good Slack groups they think I should be in?

Reading Jonathan Kim’s Medium piece on the three stages of April criticism and all of my anti-Apple mates come to mind. Read this, you’ll love it.

I think @agenda might be the calendar/notes combo app I’ve been looking for, once there’s a good iPad/iPhone app. Khoi’s review is pretty much what I would say about it.

What do people not on social media get anxious about?

A year ago today, Stevie went more viral than any of us

Do these #GC2018 opening ceremony bongo players with Delta Goodrem have the required permits?

Jingeri #GC2018

Someone recently asked me what makes me who I am, why would people invite me to fly around the globe to be their marriage celebrant?

I think it’s because I care. I believe that your marriage matters, that it’s a once in a lifetime kind of love, and I think your wedding ceremony matters. But I think your marriage should be better than your wedding. And I think that the best part about a wedding is the ceremony.

Today’s the day #GC2018

I’ve written my first edition of The Sizzle! It’s heading out to inboxes soon :) subscribe at www.thesizzle.com.au

I think hustling might have jumped the shark.

In August due to a flight change I now have six hours in San Francisco, and I’m pretty excited having never been. Where should a nerd like go in six hours? Apple Park?!

Diving into another perfect Gold Coast day volunteering at #GC2018 Commonwealth Games

All of the big Internet companies want your private data, but Cloudflare’s business model looks transparent and I think this is a service worth using your protect yourself online: 1.1.1.1

My kind of April Fools gag is a Seth Godin April Fools gag

Watching Qld Police officers, highly trained in bringing down criminals, embarrassingly bring down the letter of the law on rogue bongo drummers in Burleigh Park.

The USA is proposing reviewing social media of nearly everyone seeking entry and I’m really looking forward to their riveting critique of my 3GB Facebook archive, almost 80,000 tweets, and 6,000 Instagram posts.

There is nothing more exciting on earth today than this Twitter thread

There’s a primary school in Torres Strait, the far northern tip of Queensland, Australia, that has no books for the students. It would be so cool if everyone sent them a children’s book!

A startling review of stock photos on Medium

People are losing their mind as Pope Francis says ‘Hell does not exist,', which is great and all that, but why don’t we just ‘fess up and say we simply don’t know & the information we’ve got on the subject is sketchy.

A 2007 article by Victor Keegan arguing that MySpace had a monopoly and it was too hard for it’s users to leave.

Your fortune teller isn’t as good as David Gerrold

I’ve just checked into my hotel for the night and I think I’ve been drafted to represent Scotland in the #GC2018 Commonwealth Games

Seeing this photo makes me feel extraordinarily proud

“The truth is, we could make a ton of money, if we monetized our customer - if our customer was our product. We’ve elected not to do that.” - Apple CEO, Tim Cook, commenting on Facebook’s business model.

Apple’s constant efforts to win over schools and students isn’t a silly effort. My first computer experience was an Apple IIe in Grade Five, then using my uncle’s Macintosh in the early 90s cemented it. I wanted an Apple computer.

Humans, we aren’t going to beat the computers if it takes this airline staff member 14 minutes to figure out there’s no direct Vancouver-Gold Coast flights.

Doc Searls makes a pretty good point about what the rest of the year is going to look like in the news (OMG Amazon is tracking me!)

This piece in the NYTimes on teachers has my brain going down a different tangent. What do “professions” and “degrees” mean in a society that values them less everyday?

I wonder how many small or independant businesses are prepared for a 38% drop in Facebook favourability, which for some may lead to a 38% drop in business.

One of the best local podcasts going around is Scotty Mac’s Brisbane is Weird, and the latest ep about the the Battle of Brisbane is about Brisbane’s shameful American past.

Is there an award for the most number of times you’ve left your Kindle e-reader in a hotel room or on a plane? Asking for a friend.

If you invoice with Xero, did you know that for free you can connect it to Stripe, and let your customers pay you with credit card? It even lets you on-charge the credit card fee #pleasedothiseveryone

J&C #marriedbyjosh #photographedbyjosh

An issue more people should consider is that your content and your data, is yours. You should own it. But it’s all locked up in Facebook (and other networks) and competition is severly limited because of the high costs of switching to a new network. This needs to change.

There’s a new edition of the most niche podcast we could think of, an Australian marriage celebrant podcast. But hey, you can listen if you want.

Remember back in the olden days we had day themes for social media content, Micro.blog has that in the form of Micro Monday and I’ll nominate @ismh if only because he’s at least active here ✌🏼

It’s an easy week to bash social media, even I’ve been doing it, but it’s brought all of us closer together, so it can’t be all that bad.

But if you want to know how I’m changing up my social media habits, lets chat offline about it.

Sleep, an eight hour album on Spotify to listen to while you sleep

The most exciting thing about Trump’s presidency is that all future world leaders can say “Look, I don’t threaten porn star’s children’s lives” and we’ll be so overjoyed with their high-level morals.

Driving out of Sydney Airport feels just like leaving Denpasar Airport now. Same road designers?

How to cook soup. First, you need some water.

They tried to make me go to rehab, I said, no, no, no

“The name Christian now aligns me with gun-toting preachers, damnation-wielding social media trolls and predatory Presidents. It now aligns me with the least-like-Jesus stuff I can imagine.” — John Pav

As the bible says, “Let any one of you who has not thrown around the idea of possibly destroying a nation’s ethics over a long lunch, be the first to throw a Cricket ball at him.”

13 reasons to believe tha aliens exist … click through to get your conspiracy theories on!

Before you sink/lose your life-savings on crypto currencies, read “Attack of the 50 Foot Blockchain: Bitcoin, Blockchain, Ethereum & Smart Contracts

I can’t lie to you, I like the idea of hitchiking the world - story in the NY Times magazine

Officials in Schuylkill County (USA) are teaching students to throw rocks at school shooters … not The Onion, actual real news

Humbled daily by the couples that invite me into their marriage ceremony. A couple from Montreal have just asked me to be their celebrant in Vancouver!

“Our job now is to find new tasks, human tasks, faster than the computer takes the old ones away. Too often, people are displaced and then give up.” – Seth Godin

Neapolitan Mountain

How long can you sleep on a display bed, via Vice

Outriggers

I wish everyone in my world would invest the 20min to listen to this podcast ep about social media & mental health so we could all be on the same page - Ask Sciene Mike episode 145

Want Facebook to stop using your name in vain? Turn the setting off at facebook.com/settings/…

Apple has proposed new inclusive emojis. The inclusive nature of Apple’s business culture inspires me.

The last conversation you’ll ever need to have about eating right - bookmarking this one.

“Keto gives people the impression they’ve lost fat” - @juliaoftoronto in Vox

“80 per cent of homes are selling at a loss”The mining boom’s biggest legacy seemingly will be the mortgages worth more than the houses.

“Where’s the line on hate speech? I mean, who chose me to be the person that did that?” - Mark Zuckerberg realising the responsibilities of popularity

“Facebook will never stop collecting and exploiting that data. It is all they have.” - John Birmingham’s Alien Side Boob, 23/3/18

“Business wise, a brand would benefit more from working with a thought leader, who has 5000 real and engaged followers, who could become real and paying 5000 customers, than a buzzword thrower with 20k-50k followers (or more) who are only following thanks to herd behavior and who are not likely to pay for a product or a service. Real thought leaders care and make a point to be knowledgeable about the topics they cover.”

It’s time to address the elephant in the room: Influencers don’t really influence anything or anyone!

This ‘welcome to the Gold Coast street lights sign/artwork’ is no better when you’re looking at it straight on and in the air … I hate to jump on bandwagons, but this is a pretty supreme waste of public funds. I love the Gold Coast, I’m 100% behind #GC2018, but this sign is silly on so many fronts.

“Up until the early 2000s, the only people that lived here full time was me and my family and the people in the Big Brother House. That and a few retirees.”

Did You Know? There’s Actually A Community Of People Who Live On The Gold Coast Full-Time

Sydney

Just a casual submarine hanging, casually

Honest Wes Anderson trailer Youtube link

Sydney is now more expensive to live in than New York and LA. (It’s actually cheaper for me to fly there every week than live there)

www.bloomberg.com/news/arti…

1989's Macintosh Portable

I could spend the rest of my days watching old technology product releases and IK’d be a happy boy // this is from1989, the Macintosh Portable, being introduced by Jean-Louis Gassée who still today writes a really great email called the Monday Note Watch the Macintosh Portable launch

Pro Marriage Tip: Stress = low libido. Enough said.

Sing us a song, you’re the Piano Man t.co/U4T7VJXm6…

Love

Is this thing on?

Literally, adding value and demanding loyalty t.co/vHplNmZbV…

City Cat On A Hot Tin Roof t.co/9Wf5gUsz4… t.co/lQu2QakNh…

That’s the Josh Withers guarantee.

A&amp;K come in for a meeting about their marriage ceremony and we end up talking about getting a haircut for 30 minutes.

One thought per break t.co/ojuRCoEq4…

Cranes on the skyline 🤑 t.co/ZCHTawMCu… t.co/flKXoBZXr…

Literally, adding value and demanding loyalty t.co/xC3t0T7jx…

From the @unpopularist💡 Literally, adding value and demanding loyalty t.co/DYBaMVkLS…

One thought per break t.co/4suLBZwvx…

Best bot ever t.co/ITvSxWY90…

Everyone isn’t terrible t.co/RoRBLVDEN…

“Josh kicked off our special day by conducting the ceremony exactly as we described to him” - Joel + Liezl 📷 Hannah Blackmore Photography t.co/gzKElbdSK…

It’s just me and Blacklist t.co/Ik1H8vchD…

🏄🏾‍♀️🚁🌊 t.co/DdDbrEqTm… t.co/W1TsI2k0A…

From the @unpopularist💡 One thought per break t.co/fPGBNJlwk…

Everyone isn’t terrible t.co/cxpOBxkqE…

Everything’s swell t.co/FXWXNy124… t.co/HC8Uq6LmG…

As if Islamic State isn’t going to claim this … even if it didn’t it’s a hot grab for their “cause”

We’re paid to give a … t.co/d0aH0jpW7…

Is it ok to show off my girl on here? :) t.co/XL4BggNvk…

🏄🏾‍♀️ Surfer was nice enough to wave this afternoon while I had the 🚁 Mavic out at Nobbys' 🌊 t.co/FbeD5XakF… t.co/bLBOr2eIb…

From the @unpopularist💡 Everyone isn’t terrible t.co/J6cDQiU6j…

“Stand firm: Resisting the self-improvement craze” by @abcnews t.co/8WiQWTLY1… t.co/K68fYJSAB…

Minamilism in business, it’s unpopular t.co/7v2JmCR3t…

Someone’s excited! 📷 Love Is a Place Photography ⛰ Midginbill Hill t.co/6l8COQ45a…

Proud ♥️ @hellobrittanyjane t.co/eKZDQdrRG… t.co/0aQTEIZYB…

Hey @rodemics here’s my dream product: Rodelink Newsshooter BUT the receiver is a USB interface for a phone/laptop or the best: @mevocamera

Minamilism in business, it’s unpopular t.co/fqD54yXOq…

A couple from China were having photos taken on the Gold Coast Seaway last week and they asked for some photos.

I… t.co/Qn4FwgvSD… t.co/QFjdb8sC5…

Decision making t.co/eYHQBSI76…

What could I say to help guests know that their phones and cameras are not for the ceremony? It’s hard convincing everyone to go unplugged!

From the @unpopularist💡 Minamilism in business, it’s unpopular t.co/N3MRfCvmq…

I’m telling you this because I don’t want to let my love of song to tear us apart.

Almost every marriage ceremony I’ve performed has an obscure song lyric in it.

Fun fact: for over eight years I’ve been marrying people and dropping song lyric Easter eggs into their ceremonies.

Talking about bridezillas t.co/37QbcYN3d…

Unpopular businesses are fuelled by strong opinion t.co/O9QJgi5Hf…

Unpopular by profession t.co/T8GhNHeBq…

Ignore the computer, sometimes t.co/ekG6c1ghg…

Melissa found the guy who bugged her the least 💯 Michael &amp; Melissa #marriedbyjosh at @albertriverwine with @sunlit… t.co/ZAmFVcXVr… t.co/eG2l2zMUA…

Ryan promised to spend the rest of his life trying to understand makeup 💄 Linda promised to spend the rest of her … t.co/7DI1WogAc… t.co/BpZbzhEkV…

Where does your learning happen? t.co/8HgNs4hMW…

Ignore the computer, sometimes t.co/pVsw2rnrd…

Fighting for a break t.co/RyVpcGOsl…

On bridal parties t.co/aJ7JS8YUk…

Andrew + Natalie #marriedbyjosh 📷 Finch &amp; Oak ⛳ Summergrove Estate 🎉 The Elopement Collective t.co/QtvvViKjb…

The shrink issue t.co/IemlQbxMh…

Pro Marriage Tip: Give your spouse your undivided attention soon. Quality time is quality.

Terms and conditions apply t.co/8GGVCbOGb…

Say hello to my little wet friend t.co/ZMVpd831P…

The shrink issue t.co/M3C7Jju0f…

🍻🐂🤓😂💯 t.co/NOQrq48Ja…

Facebook Live video opinion polls are dead t.co/xrOnePNSK…

Wanna be unpopular? So does my podcast guest today 🤓 Episode 8: Heidi’s unpopular book t.co/PLoVNH7CF…

Taxi drivers can’t see the automation forest through the Uber trees t.co/oV6crvwEF…

🆕 Unpopular podcast 🎙Episode 8: Heidi’s unpopular book 🎧 t.co/Gl6f7IflV…

From the @unpopularist💡 The shrink issue t.co/esxCfeM5D…

“Every time I see you, you make me happy!” 👀 😊 Suze &amp; Dara #marriedbyjosh with @jamesdayweddings #sydneycelebrant … t.co/1jZE3q4rv… t.co/CmdRSgmCQ…

Stan told me to imagine that you are stupid t.co/AXicAtlSY…

“Josh’s ability as a speaker is only surpassed by his ability as humorist” Melissa &amp; Chris #marriedbyjosh 📷 KCL t.co/d4gyylJnY…

🎶 Sunrise to sunset, imma not forget all that you’ve done for me 🥁 @paulwrightmusic t.co/7gtVmmKEb…

Official weird Brisbanian, @Scotty_McDonald’s new podcast @BrisbaneisWeird is good!!! t.co/rfZIOIiPN…

What are you doing, Skip? t.co/DmksScCuf…

“Stan told me to imagine that you are stupid” — @JoshuaWithers t.co/YEEPbbOaY… t.co/Zi7FlxOAG…

Stan told me to imagine that you are stupid t.co/O4rh8SFxQ…

From the @unpopularist💡 Stan told me to imagine that you are stupid t.co/50MwzKW9A…

Jerry: What’s wrong, Skip? What’s happened?

Skippy: Tchk tchk tchk.

Jerry: a flying robot? That’s crazy, Skip!

Skippy: Tchk tchk tchk. t.co/TLWgTnuvm…

Self-diagnosis: why I’m not a billionaire yet t.co/GIYshOPrk…

Honoured to have been in this moment with the @elopementcollective and @lucasandcophotography // Reviewed: If ther… t.co/PY9b59FYY… t.co/MzETNAjE0…

Iceland + Holly + Tom + The Elopement Collective + Heart and Colour = ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ t.co/JuWank9O5…

Addicted to sunsets t.co/LA4ORPO7q…

I just uploaded “Why your wedding vows are important and how to make them awesome, by Josh Withers, marriage cele… t.co/3U9XWqXFe…

Self-diagnosis: why I’m not a billionaire yet t.co/a22XsuaIA…

Sand, pumped t.co/p9FNebx1z…

From the @unpopularist💡 Self-diagnosis: why I’m not a billionaire yet t.co/8NDfUeBPz…

🎶 Somewhere, under the rainbow, somewhere, just there t.co/MD3lrHjuO…

After hanging out with super smart photographers every day I eventually got a taste for the art myself.

So, I’ve … t.co/vLdaB5hKj… t.co/0eLI6anRm…

Andrew + Rebecca #marriedbyjosh 🍃 The Elopement Collective ⛰ Byron View Farm 📷 Morgan Roberts 🌺 Pack a Perfect Party t.co/ly2WVNzch…

Li’l red riding hood t.co/4i0puY1QO…

Kane &amp; Julia asked this morning “How do you make our marriage ceremony not-awkward?” and I’m glad to report that i… t.co/MzFzlM7av… t.co/gR5IhuRdT…

“If you’re not paying for something online, you’re the product being sold” t.co/jDigUpbKG…

What songs have you asked your DJ not to play?

“Shit just got real” — Dorcas, as she exchanged vows with Amos in the Blue Mountains #marriedbyjosh with the @elop… t.co/3jscAE0qZ… t.co/Xw435kNMo…

That two people can conquer their own impatience &amp; selfishness, and instead seek love and devotion, forever leaves… t.co/qqpGWhNSH… t.co/5aMqr66Z8…

You can only charge what you’re worth t.co/i49ZbDgsE…

The benefit of a plan t.co/UTrOjrYGL…

The convert is more passionate t.co/jxhujhMNF…

When laws and regulations block your path t.co/TM8qO4R3X…

Carly &amp; Amanda #civillyunionedbyjosh with @morganrobertsphotography on the Sunshine Coast 🤘🏼 t.co/octXgTEFJ… t.co/NCI4RYDep…

Should the ‘failing media’ fight or flight? t.co/Vt4nmY9PY…

Including, or excluding, the new expenses of doing business t.co/mfcJzssZe…

The car I’m in is ok - It’s for a car at home t.co/KVJ7N7ZwN…

I’m driving from Esk to the GC - where can I buy a car battery?

“You were a ray of sunshine on a very rainy, stormy day!” Gavin + Natasha 🎉 #marriedbyjosh 📷 Aaron Shum 🏖 Noosa t.co/7onyiSTHO…

Matt &amp; Kristen #marriedbyjosh at their home in Kingaroy!

When they first enquires with me they were looking at di… t.co/gDHHvN0EO… t.co/uKO2Xtfh9…

Everything we know about quitting is wrong (and happy birthday Ori) t.co/lRGMt9RzF…

Your marriage isn’t a destination, it’s not a goal you can reach or something you can achieve or finish. It’s a journey. A process.

When you say nothing at all t.co/w1KeerEwz…

Getting better isn’t autmoatic t.co/ngv6aegKu…

When Maddie married Jack 🏆 photo by @thefollans at @hillstonestlucia #brisbanecelebrant #brisbanewedding #hillston… t.co/ioQL1PN9E… t.co/ZaQeLKxZO…

I’m pretty sure Google search is dead t.co/PVfUZ6c3x…

That face when you’re all about the #dronelyf - as photographed/busted by @heartandcolour t.co/gPSjnCsBX…

An elopement has no “guests”. There’s no-one there that doesn’t have to be there. It’s your favourite humans, the … t.co/lhYpgIPO7… t.co/w4YKvFucQ…

That moment when you realise that you’d be left behind if your friend was friends with Men Without Hats.

Don’t push me, cuz I’m close to the eddgggeeee t.co/5H4W9cfZX…

I’m pretty sure Google search is dead t.co/TFvBMcDOU…

From the @unpopularist💡 I’m pretty sure Google search is dead t.co/kH8izlICH…

Where did you come from? t.co/kNPC83CxR…

Amos + Dorcas t.co/owq93Yon9…

From Singapore to the Blue Mountains // Dorcas + Amos#marriedbyjosh with the @elopementcollective @posysupplyco &amp; … t.co/tkT1nAuDv… t.co/mErfxQwce…

“Here’s a photo of everyone with a double chin from laughing so hard” - Mitchell &amp; Hannah 📷 Jessie Dains t.co/qdMiAUs4K…

Getting better isn’t autmoatic t.co/gaBzqmzFu…

From the @unpopularist💡 Getting better isn’t autmoatic t.co/9sYff2Rr0…

Legends at @Mastercard need you to double verify your email and a Captiva before they let you escape their spam t.co/KHocPq80c…

Carlye and Trent featured on @polkadotbride today! “Josh had a few jokes and stories which really signified the da… t.co/uk6vpF8ca… t.co/afAOIojju…

Where did you come from? t.co/cUXUmN7Sl…

My name is Josh, I’m from Queensland, and I’m here to help" 📷 @jimmy_izophotography #perthcelebrant #celebrant #ma… t.co/WPCKxzay1… t.co/yReX0eQPh…

Have you started yet? t.co/93UFwEuh4…

Hayley and Thesh #marriedbyjosh and styled by Ivy &amp; Blue at Osteria 👌🏻 t.co/xahbEas7k…

From the @unpopularist💡 Where did you come from? t.co/J7w3SsBDr…

EVERYONE LOGS ONTO TWITTER LIKE THEY START CALLING EXS WHEN THEIR GIRLFRIEND LEAVES THEM

ARGHGHGHGHGHG t.co/rrzaDKj9s…

Have you started yet? t.co/9iUYkvFfG…

When was the last time you asked ‘why?’ t.co/Hcq95rZD2…

From the @unpopularist💡 Have you started yet? t.co/T1a74gXYH…

Ben &amp; Khya #marriedbyjosh t.co/jCJWMBOK5…

141.21

141.43

Now streaming: Carly &amp; Jon’s marriage and Bub!

Reviewed: Talk about cool, calm and collected with a touch of chee… t.co/n8CmwV9ZP… t.co/KuvrUSOAp…

“ASS” – Elon Musk t.co/0C9kOckXM…

Cash bars at weddings are more and more popular - are you having one?

Amey got a new shed! @theperfectpartyco has a new home in Enoggera and we spent the afternoon there drinking all o… t.co/tAPkkiY3F… t.co/HYaAy36Xs…

Zoe &amp; Mitchell #marriedbyjosh at Ecostudio Fellini with the talented @wilde.visual behind the camera t.co/JpP3oDYCi… t.co/PIjdZep6J…

“We’re number one on Google” t.co/sSf3Yn1fC…

I’m not busy, but I understand priorities t.co/QwUny93DM…

Can I get a discount? t.co/KOBLAcszI…

What if everything wasn’t about your price? t.co/PuLnooguU…

Let’s ‘bump the lamp’ t.co/1W5A0N7gu…

Mitchell &amp; Zoe #marriedbyjosh at @ecostudiofellini today with the legends @wilde.visual in tow :) t.co/gBluxZxCF… t.co/6JJIUqQGo…

Everyone is making terrible video t.co/7UbDasFNU…

Taking the drone out for a sunset photoshoot is a real win! t.co/sjgVNpgY8…

Craig and Lisa #marriedbyjosh 📽 Whitedress Productions 🏠 Osteria t.co/CjrIjD6Sy…

Pacific rain t.co/OGrqSehGc…

It’s free advertising! t.co/d7e6TrUFz…

You’re either bundling or unbundling, Fairfax is slowly, unconciously, unbundling t.co/FLnJg1r4l…

Pro Marriage Tip: Vulnerability is integrity’s best mate - and integrity is your marriage’s BFF.

You’re either bundling or unbundling, Fairfax is slowly, unconciously, unbundling t.co/dkM44ojCp…

Better questions gets you better answers t.co/zKlf2ufmH…

Better questions gets you better answers t.co/HjUP2M8tH…

The not-so-popular section of a market t.co/glWghfI8m…

The not-so-popular section of a market t.co/Qzea60LQB…

From the @unpopularist💡 You’re either bundling or unbundling, Fairfax is slowly, unconciously, unbundling t.co/s9hTjT7mG…

May the Fourth be with you Wookiee &amp; Leia #notmarriedbyjosh photographed by @jessiedains #maythefourthbewithyou #s… t.co/lHRAV1G1R… t.co/eHyZ4xCN0…

From the @unpopularist💡 Better questions gets you better answers t.co/oi8lB0BxO…

I think I’ve got a haircut appointment t.co/FPfkWCoci…

Everyone is making terrible video t.co/bLHJCGKsi…

From the @unpopularist💡 The not-so-popular section of a market t.co/ePuWbBCkh…

In this world you will have trouble t.co/Rk1sPI1Wi…

Thank god Roost were there to capture this - take me back to Iceland! t.co/YeV2H5YyV…

Jemma + Thom awesomely #marriedbyjosh in Bali 🤘🏼 #balicelebrant #baliwedding #baliweddings t.co/l164yTtyx… t.co/zQ9LFobyp…

Marriage is sticking up for each other and enjoying each other’s weak puns.

Graeme + Amy #marriedbyjosh with the … t.co/tsYSf00Jq… t.co/2f0NcPwno…

From the @unpopularist💡 Everyone is making terrible video t.co/8rxVUg1dq…

I just published “Everyone is making terrible video” t.co/5ADQvk2YW…

It’s free advertising! t.co/G23mPV9vy…

From the @unpopularist💡 It’s free advertising! t.co/X73Y2c5iw…

In this world you will have trouble t.co/eNh6nyxS4…

All awards are stupid t.co/zkNlyl8Gq…

Sam Gilmore Photography interviewed me for his blog! t.co/FV0vEOzxD…

What people mean when they say “I’ve got your back”

Amy + Graeme #marriedbyjosh with the @elopementcollective in … t.co/RVpDpBoiH… t.co/loEhJ12al…

From the @unpopularist💡 In this world you will have trouble t.co/2wRxQFJBt…

That’s why it’s cheap t.co/2AyRXNpYQ…

Justin and Annika’s epic Bells Rapids elopement outside of Perth t.co/cxIRj3SHO…

That’s why it’s cheap t.co/jnM88Scug…

Not see Steve Bannon

From the @unpopularist💡 That’s why it’s cheap t.co/qUCSZM5mA…

I just published “That’s why it’s cheap” t.co/1UXXKXLpS…

Trading your cares t.co/Geij7xG32…

I’m looking for date-night ideas? Care to share?

Angela &amp; Nathan love each other almost as much as they love chocolate. I know those feels!

Nathan + Angela #marri… t.co/LB1PWPEVu… t.co/iu6vZ8iMG…

When people ask me what I do I’m probably going to start telling them I go to epic locations with profound people … t.co/tJ28sKecW… t.co/dWDvInmsD…

What are you measuring? t.co/8AoOX3i3E…

Trading your cares t.co/sVZlx66HQ…

Thinking is the hardest work t.co/kQCOb01aQ…

From the @unpopularist💡 Trading your cares t.co/SutfUyqUQ…

Can we say the same thing, but differently? t.co/RKhaJ3dUC…

The saddest things businesses say t.co/lJiLP8eIh…

A story of two kids and their drone travelling the world taking selfies t.co/TwYWiEXLB…

Why does this exist? t.co/dqyB5Dh21…

My life is simply a series of moments where I either am kissing her or I’m thinking of kissing her t.co/emUuHzIyT…

My first automation t.co/9rE18I4Ru…

Laura and Mitch #marriedbyjosh and photographed by Shane Shepherd and also featured in White Magazine! t.co/qA9UbB67o… t.co/HwCLRFHPr…

After the redeye flight home from Perth this morning Britt and I made the trip out to Tenterfield to help Geremey … t.co/irZojc9yJ… t.co/seOrZKPs4…

Dilute or double down? t.co/NH4ZN2pZ8…

We’re moving to the country, gunna eat a lot of peaches … for one night only, in Tenterfield t.co/DC0aRDt9i…

To love without knowing how to love, hurts the ones we love.

Just unsubscribed from the saddest of Mailchimp lists. It’s name was “&lt;newsletter name&gt; first 2k users”

How to tell t.co/qRaArR3hh…

Amy + Graeme + Arnie #marriedbyjosh (Arnie’s not married though FYI) t.co/dNIvcWW9V… t.co/sOASq8Jc3…

Does this hurt? t.co/yKFsn0uYa…

How to tell t.co/vF6ZBVK5s…

I just published “How to tell” t.co/wcb344Du6…

There’s only a handful of emails I look forward to receiving, and I even pay $5 per month to get @decryption’s t.co/2IqOUnZWN…

Cottesloe, 6:50am, as the iPhone sees it t.co/1t0mnbWP7…

Does this hurt? t.co/phjDABobp…

If I was starting it all over again today t.co/TTunXVAuZ…

When the feels express themselves through your faces.

Andrew &amp; Tamara #marriedbyjosh at @byronviewfarm with the @… t.co/cWsW9dLyu… t.co/fITLKcS8N…

Talking ‘bout love on North Straddie ☀️ Josh &amp; Skye #marriedbyjosh 📷 by my old friends at Evernew Studio! t.co/ZU5E3cCrT…

I just published “‘I’m never getting married!’” t.co/n6qXYmpyE…

From the @unpopularist💡 Does this hurt? t.co/LzLv6vZK6…

I just published “Does this hurt?” t.co/Jb4NznNQ7…

If I was starting it all over again today t.co/oLbnzEMlC…

An easy thing every retail business should do on social on public holidays t.co/PvDSa1JC9…

From the @unpopularist💡 If I was starting it all over again today t.co/sDLFgC4Kg…

Check out Honeywed to find some other wedding people like me :) t.co/hk0i0aw5p…

I just published “If I was starting it all over again today” t.co/KzjVegOjA…

Hey Perth 🙋🏻‍♂️

Kylie &amp; Glen #marriedbyjosh at the #canberrapopupwedding with the @elopementcollective @laurelandlace and @laurenc… t.co/H9mBVRFio… t.co/HyJaLGTo7…

Good morning planes t.co/jdbbxayt3…

Under who’s authority? t.co/UldUe3srA…

Can I interest you in a late-model husband? Free floormats? 💒 Lauren &amp; Michael #marriedbyjosh at Coolibah Downs with Evernew Studio t.co/OcFk9icDS…

Goodnight Brisvegas . . . . . #skyporn #sunsetsniper #skylovers #sunrise_and_sunsets #sunsets #sunset_hub #sunsetlovers #instasunsets #all… t.co/WOqWjYe2F…

John &amp; Kellie looked at the calendar and saw an opportunity for a long weekend for all their wedding guests by get… t.co/c0phja2d7… t.co/NA90Bk1Bd…

Dealing with failure t.co/bjhCjs8vD…

Where would you elope to, if you could?

A marriage ceremony should be a place of ✌🏼Anyone, anything, anyplace, that destroys the ✌🏼 should🖕🏻🙋🏻‍♂️📷 by @lau… t.co/juNt8vAmJ… t.co/dwuXlCfoy…

Runaway and elope to Bali - add that to your list of awesome “getting married” ideas that are focused on having a … t.co/qBGholSX4… t.co/fMoXqOhLt…

Love Norman t.co/RRqWUI5bQ…

You know what the best thing is? Personally written vows, simply because they mean something. They’re your own wor… t.co/S0bCKeZzx… t.co/pY7oIZr07…

Unpopular to change the date? t.co/SBj0qlfeL…

The long tail t.co/6IflL1QZM…

Seth Godin on being unpopular t.co/pYhMM2BPi…

I ♥️GC t.co/3eQ5wXFdh…

Ant &amp; Jess are awesome! #marriedbyjosh at Eco Studio Fellini on the Gold Coast this afternoon 🤘🏼 t.co/MtFVPjDTL… t.co/tbfxBh8dB…

Welcome to the Unpopularist t.co/xRKelWAMW…

World changing awesome idea: hash browns in the @Qantas Club for brekky. How can we make this happen? Will retweets alone be enough?

What your email address looks like t.co/5FvQw4Le4…

Rebecca and Simon #marriedbyjosh t.co/QlvkOZUwq…

How lucky am I to do this thing I do with the coolest people all over the globe. Thanks for having us, Canberra! t.co/2NK1Sldsb…

August 10 // if you would like to elope in New Zealand with the @elopementcollective we’ve got a day free around Q… t.co/aksV9uIwN… t.co/CfaiidNNa…

Before your ceremony I let all your guests know how it is: no long faces, this is the best part of the day, please clap, cheer &amp; scream! t.co/eHptiGxaI…

Owen &amp; Kate #marriedbyjosh at our Canberra Pop-Up Wedding event today at Fitters Workshop #popupwedding #canberrap… t.co/ZXN39tznF… t.co/achVqGZid…

Pip &amp; Nigel #marriedbyjosh at our Canberra Pop-Up Wedding event today at Fitters Workshop #popupwedding #canberrap… t.co/SVDMKESs6… t.co/3FX1LBBFW…

Bec &amp; Sam #marriedbyjosh at our Canberra Pop-Up Wedding event today at Fitters Workshop #popupwedding #canberrapop… t.co/4phPwkuKm… t.co/X7NfJMAmm…

Lauren &amp; Samantha #marriedbyjosh t.co/uV5jLi6VL…

Glen &amp; Kylie #marriedbyjosh at our Canberra Pop-Up Wedding event today at Fitters Workshop #popupwedding #canberra… t.co/4p8ZhIkYL… t.co/J5PSD8COB…

I’d aim to have zero “guests” at your wedding but as many witnesses as required. For such an intimate occasion guests can stay at home IMHO.

Brett &amp; Lauren #marriedbyjosh at our Canberra Pop-Up Wedding event today at Fitters Workshop #popupwedding #canber… t.co/L0qVrkQz8… t.co/CaoOZJRQx…

Did you see us in the Collective Hub magazine?! t.co/LEyKoXtiN…

Could I have a gin &amp; tonic please?

Yes, but you’ll need to make it yourself. t.co/B3t1PZb4S…

Do you have any whiskey? t.co/S8Nrskw1z…

Melanie &amp; Don #marriedbyjosh with The Elopement Collective and Morgan Roberts on Mount Tamborine t.co/AmGwBAmBr…

Sitting in front of a blank page trying to write vows? Here’s some questions to ask yourself t.co/lGG7Z8Ss3…

Magic // Alyse &amp; Jay in paradise #marriedbyjosh with the @elopementcollective @crimsonweddingflowers &amp; @heartandco… t.co/5zkbdY4tk… t.co/IkJT1BiHJ…

The wedding tax, and how to avoid it t.co/CeC9a4Guo… t.co/X7jPpRvBQ…

Why are people getting married? @katherinefeeney &amp; @ErinWilling9 asked me on the @9HoneyAU Sweet Spot podcast t.co/5fzKY8EZB…

Put your hands up if you’re planning on Snapchatting Fraser and Caitlyn’s wedding ceremony 🤳🏻 no need, Col Hockey’s on the job today t.co/kNNVp2EVw…

Finally got my shit together t.co/814dol7Oa…

Lake Hayes t.co/VdFerCNs5…

In a world, where there is so much noise, a newsmaking hero emerges t.co/AHYLv3XB9…

The iPhone takes an ok photo these days . . . . . #purenewzealand #queenstownnz #destinationnz #discover_newzealand #capturenz #queenstown… t.co/5Ml0SwOHa…

Here’s a pretty sweet idea we baked up t.co/OcGoFvJRQ…

Jay &amp; Alyse eloped! t.co/3LDZWHn8a… t.co/jYaCsGh82…

In a world, where there is so much noise, a newsmaking hero emerges t.co/qVnA6rQKq…

Thinking about wedding creation differently - t.co/RQm31psoq…

Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to say something fresh, to do something new, to not just say things the… t.co/JzfKfrawx… t.co/MYk7RxR0S…

Brides, throwing cats … that’s right t.co/8r50i2RyI…

From the @unpopularist💡 In a world, where there is so much noise, a newsmaking hero emerges t.co/obEH4C259…

Mount Cook t.co/6HHD4pSDY…

It’s far too early for adventuring 🇳🇿 GC✈️Queenstown

Wedding mistakes you didn’t know existed - t.co/VckisoBrX…

Which flowers should I get Britt? I know NOTHING about flowers!

Thanks, sugar t.co/f2W3EdJhM…

16 for 2016 - t.co/bMsUk5Jlt…

Britt was interviewed by The Wellbeing Collective! t.co/p5mn8cS2N…

The five people you want at your wedding to make it awesome! t.co/h3dZOcxFZ…

Gather round people let me tell you a story, a two year long story of power and pride. Australian Lord Harland and… t.co/zxOTGrP2k… t.co/Uozo7SHdC…

2017 weddings by the numbers - t.co/VXHLijp2Y…

1 of my secrets on how I speak at weddings w/o a script &amp; why there’s always a @FieldNotesBrand notepad in my pocket t.co/HWMPAT5WJ…

The one simple thing you can do to make your wedding speech awesome - t.co/vvsYAcdj8…

Even the world’s richest and biggest computer company prints it’s photos - t.co/WDL9A3Z39…

Kailah promised to always support Qld in the #StateOfOrigin - we talk about important things in your wedding ceremony 📷 Evernew Studio t.co/C9BwJmBMC…

With so many people going to church today, Maddie thought she’d marry one: Jack. Jack Church.

Me &amp; Mrs Church #ma… t.co/b8X5muZ5e… t.co/IlosAnk3X…

A list of ideas for what to do when you get to the end of the ceremony t.co/8KOZcUqmi…

“I can’t thank you enough for a perfect day, you absolutely nailed it. Perfect, perfect, perfect!” That’s the kind… t.co/pqtfbuvEC… t.co/OfuxWv77b…

Screen time &lt; face time.

Lazy #aggiewithers . . . . . #cats_of_instagram #catstagram #cutecat #instacat #catlove #kitten #meow #katze #catlover #catwalk #catofthed… t.co/ac38hxMkp…

A little blog interview where I say controversial things to wedding DJs :) t.co/fA7YVixOl…

Questions you can ask yourself to help you write amazing wedding vows t.co/lGG7Z8Ss3…

I’m never going to play Wedding Police and tell you how to get married the right way, but I think that if your cer… t.co/IKjhVwUZf… t.co/EQydRyi9N…

Creative ways to finance your wedding - t.co/DE0ReWuzo…

Clint and Kasey #marriedbyjosh with Mount Warning behind us, a small handful of family in front of us, and two oth… t.co/G0dwx4i3v… t.co/fTsF5wMnc…

Two people saying “we want to leave a mark on this world, we want to leave a legacy, and we want to do that togeth… t.co/50ofFNmL9… t.co/7prDWiQ3P…

Me on the Today Show! t.co/RTixjy9Bp…

When you cross the line a winner 🥇Caitlin and Tim #marriedbyjosh 📷 by Finch &amp; Oak t.co/v7QFshopG…

I’m at Canberra’s Qantas Club if anyone else is sitting here trying to avoid working like I am?

Alex &amp; Danielle eloped to Canberra without any witnesses, however, to get legally married in Oz you need two, so n… t.co/fZNT1U5tp… t.co/Tso4HiiY0…

We’re at the Pialligo Redwood Forest t.co/QBCdycJt0…

I need a second witness to a marriage ceremony in Canberra right now. Anyone out and about in the capital with 5 min spare?

… but secretly delivering it to the fridge where I’ll have no choice but to eat it because it’s already there.

I hope everyone respects my religion this weekend by not giving me halal-certified chocolate to my face …

Hi, democracy t.co/DhidUgRea…

.@typeform So I’m inclined to think that @amaysimAU aren’t going to have anyone to win the phone t.co/dXAHvsyml…

But the @typeform “entry page” doesn’t actually collect any personal data t.co/nN0svP7ND…

They have registered the competition t.co/CVkQyXvlK…

Anyone able to be at Amaysim’s offices at 2pm on the 27th of April to see if there’s an actual draw for their NBN competition?

Actually not a terrible plan t.co/N0Y0KWMYF… t.co/aS55T97ow…

A forgotten expense of Taskforce Maxima was the digitisation of the QLD BDM. The funds for taking the BDM online were reassigned. t.co/4vDZyb7sA…

✈️ Canberra

Believe it or not, wedding ceremonies can be fun t.co/Y15QdoNJx…

Yo @OxfamAustralia your unsubscribe links don’t unsubscribe me. This is kind of against the law. t.co/qrqk2y3Gw…

Rob and Each #marriedbyjosh with white+white in Brisbane! t.co/ZaUZnqpxl…

Warm moonlight over my horizon, she’s a slice of heaven t.co/MZbL030w5…

Her love shines over my horizon, she’s a slice of heaven t.co/DojXMYAAC…

Hot tip: when you’re throwing petals at a couple walking down the aisle, don’t throw them AT them, throw them in t… t.co/RVIxrafCW… t.co/lcnADZoQ5…

What do I do? I’m your cheerleader in the marriage ceremony, leading your tribe in a massive round of applause bec… t.co/MHoJP8fWI… t.co/5Q9lkcsKp…

Longest wedding ceremony ever, we started it on a Wednesday in Carlton before Jess' brother was deployed in Janua… t.co/p5EyiKXJ8… t.co/xxhBIdYjO…

Next time I fly @united I’m taking a can of @pepsi to give to the staff

Instead of getting free nuts onboard a @United flight, you simply are nuts for boarding a @United flight.

Join the @united frequent fighters club today to start earning points now!

“Sir, you’re actually three feelings over for your fare, it looks like you’re still holding on to that time we beat you up.”

After this United incident are airlines going to have to start offering emotional baggage allowances?

I once said ‘Cocks’ on air, instead of ‘Clocks’, the Coldplay song t.co/1p7GDpwGW…

Scott and Kirsten #marriedbyjosh t.co/cTnN0UEI4…

Selfie: the photo that looks awesome even if it’s terrible! 📷 @justforlovephotography 🍔 @churburgerbrisbane t.co/P2mm7LBUD… t.co/6fmIEkZLw…

“It’s everyday that you stun me with your beauty, laughter, your fiery passion and just simply being you” - Mitch just loving Laura t.co/PisQhnuz1…

I believe the marriage ceremony is the best part of any wedding or elopement Darren &amp; Nikki #marriedbyjosh in Tas… t.co/oQZNarBJg… t.co/XlYVDJNv8…

Mobile phones off the bedside table, and for the first time in over a decade, an alarm clock comes in t.co/7bhx0AhM4…

How to create vows that wow (the most cliche thing I’ve said in a while) t.co/HL249oVgu…

We just surprised everyone at Scott and Clare’s rooftop engagement party with a wedding. Surprise weddings are the… t.co/tDtIHhkDD… t.co/pcMPiBLVk…

Marriage Amnesty day 2016 in photos - t.co/NUh1b2F7e…

Anthony and I dressed almost exactly the same. Don’t worry, Sam knew who to kiss.

Sam &amp; Anthony #marriedbyjosh on… t.co/qHXNs7hoD… t.co/jBWfBJ3a1…

Gavin &amp; Natasha #marriedbyjosh t.co/C3T0qN1gp…

Lauren &amp; Andrew #marriedbyjosh today at my local, @hitchedattheboomerangfarm with @paulbamford 🤘🏼 #goldcoastcelebr… t.co/8bF5vTe9L… t.co/Izq4DHcZm…

How [I think] driverless cars will positively impact marriages t.co/axCJQfSj5…

In the future we’ll trade in AFs t.co/jYAzQXydJ…

In the future we’ll trade in AFs t.co/AXsxrkboo…

From the @unpopularist💡 In the future we’ll trade in AFs t.co/VD0OlZVsw…

Vas and Felicia #marriedbyjosh with The Elopement Collective t.co/PIhcQluQk…

A notice of your intended same-sex marriage … a form that means nothing and everything at the same time t.co/cKjqe3Lje…

“Thank you again so much for giving us the awesome wedding! It was fun, meaningful and very ‘us’” - Pearly &amp; Brantly #marriedbyjosh t.co/oXfD8ZzlX…

Stuck on your wedding vows - here’s some examples of really boring vows t.co/Fi01dfO1F…

Have you considered ditching the seating plan? Place a sign saying ‘Sit where you’d like"

Answering all the questions: does a marriage need to be consummated? Also helpful if you don’t know what that means t.co/OjmFuhSbT…

How much does an Australian wedding cost? t.co/KnxMVY5US…

How my complainants bless me t.co/NlkGjpmoY…

If you think about it, we’re all Kendall Jenner and our memes are cans of Pepsi

If you follow the flock … t.co/X9htx752W…

A&amp;J eloped in secret, so here’s J’s florals by She’s A Wildflower instead of a photo of them 🌺🎉😁💯 t.co/oz5HFQ8dZ…

There is no union more profound than marriage, and Sam and Anthony just created one on the shores of Lake Wakatipu! t.co/QpgEHb5B5… t.co/J5KJW9cKY…

Wanaka last night 🌫 t.co/DSwjFVUuw…

How do we end? t.co/M6srMZQa3…

Career defining moment, from today. Ana &amp; Lauren, thank you for inviting me into your world you beautiful humans. t.co/RtRo8o9jM…

Chelsea &amp; Shawn #marriedbyjosh t.co/GKMucTOPB…

I did that thing you do when you do a thing like this t.co/TGbGx8DTG…

Ana &amp; Lauren #marriedbyjosh on top of a freaking mountain, Roys Peak, near Wanaka. This is the new career highligh… t.co/bFmUSTe1E… t.co/txYdBKRYU…

Ana &amp; Lauren #marriedbyjosh on top of a freaking mountain, Roys Peak, near Wanaka. This is the new career highligh… t.co/GabqXUAkx… t.co/aJRm5ZYbk…

Queensbury t.co/4c2EPSnDa…

How do we end? t.co/FEuGiUjAw…

From the @unpopularist💡 How do we end? t.co/xvEIyAq6P…

I just published “How do we end?” t.co/zv9hYi6Bm…

“Love is better than no love, though it can hurt so much.” - Iris Murdoch

That face when you just eloped in New Zealand! Sam &amp; Carly #marriedbyjosh in Arrowtown with the @elopementcollecti… t.co/bBi7chFvG… t.co/AJ1TdZUsN…

real life emoji 🌄 t.co/QsXKMXLpc…

. . . . . #instagramaviation #ptk_vehicles #instaplane #airplane54 #instaaviation #aviationlife #megaplane #planephotography #aviationphot… t.co/t5IhL8pBt…

I ♥️ QT . . . . . #naturephoto #watchthisinstagood #artofvisuals #awesome_earthpix #landscape_captures #rsa_rural #natureaddict #nature_wi… t.co/hwJWtTHU8…

Good morning, Queenstown! t.co/p67LuSpCO…

Either I don’t know how to buy a car, or the car industry doesn’t know how to sell me one t.co/XjCSRn9mA…

What’s your favourite thing about the person you’re marrying?

The last time we were in New Zealand I explained to Stephen &amp; Natasha how excited I was to be in the snow for a ma… t.co/rMec1du8L… t.co/6G4EnSrCC…

I’m in so much debt t.co/Be79ukn1h…

New Zealand bound today with the @elopementcollective and @laurencampbell today! The last time i worked with Laure… t.co/9M6ij1C8H… t.co/vtQGygq4G…

Just send the email t.co/z7OUxJZ7X…

Star ratings suck t.co/WRMfFzSJf…

Dara &amp; Suze saucily #marriedbyjosh with @jamesdayweddings &amp; @bigdayof #sydneywedding #sydneycelebrant #celebrant #… t.co/8oszfEqac… t.co/LWwlxTzuu…

They might not get the joke t.co/m4OE9b3zh…

#thegrounds, the most Instagrammable place in all the cosmos t.co/KyIC0d76J…

We already know we screwed up t.co/kYHIebsC4…

Chinderah this morning t.co/Tn5MdRp5W…

QLD Flood warning issued at 5:22am EST | Issued: Saturday at 5:22am ESTDescription: Flood warningSummary: Final Fl… t.co/Y0EFXVUaJ…

Either I don’t know how to buy a car, or the car industry doesn’t know how to sell me one t.co/TloV6zdyh…

As of today, 1/4/17, all of my marriage ceremonies will be in French to increase the sexiness of my weddings.

À p… t.co/h4StjyeBS… t.co/lYCRDob8C…

À partir d’aujourd’hui, le 1/4/17, toutes mes cérémonies de mariage seront en français pour augmenter la sensualité de mes mariages.

As of today, 1/4/17, all of my marriage ceremonies will be in French to increase the sexiness of my weddings.

The reality is that everyone has different realities t.co/8OgUIVVpT…

Tap and slide to experience Carly &amp; Jon’s elopement!

They eloped on Monday in Byron Bay at Newrybar’s @harvestnew… t.co/QhAIYY7Kp… t.co/9wm5wx1BS…

QLD Flood warning issued at 5:58pm EST | Issued: Friday at 5:58pm ESTDescription: Flood warningSummary: Major Floo… t.co/3RxHGxClo…

Tap and slide to experience Carly &amp; Jon’s elopement!

They eloped on Monday in Byron Bay at Newrybar’s @harvestnew… t.co/5R3FtoIVH… t.co/96gtND751…

“No one else will have the same wedding as us as you made it an original!” - Courtney &amp; Shaun t.co/rA8TSaI58…

Looking in all the right places t.co/5FauJcynK…

Debbie does marriage t.co/jiOzuhoOQ…

Shout out number two to @trevorlong in today’s piece on @unpopularist t.co/4hORDkjY3… t.co/BsuGObn2A…

“Either I don’t know how to buy a car, or the car industry doesn’t know how to sell me one” — @JoshuaWithers t.co/YAvLjxCi0… t.co/d19AkMqN8…

From the @unpopularist💡 Either I don’t know how to buy a car, or the car industry doesn’t know how to sell me one t.co/2UGzOA8Oy…

I just published “Either I don’t know how to buy a car, or the car industry doesn’t know how to sell me one” t.co/pw9YYhn7B…

Crazy/awesome idea: Sunrise ceremony, brunch party. Sunset drinks with just the two of you.

Answering the question “Which side do I stand on?” t.co/ZdaX7RdVm…

If you loved the move, you can steal the vows! t.co/76ChPReh3…

No flood, storm, cyclone, or drop of rain could stop us because our “wet weather backup” was also our #popupweddin… t.co/3dgluftiO… t.co/Q0QagYHUm…

If you want to go right back to basics, here’s the bare minimum required for a marriage ceremony in Australia t.co/4HJX2EnGL…

Adam &amp; Kendra just exchanged the most amazing vows at the #brisbanepopupwedding in the middle of the floods and po… t.co/gIEDh8v61… t.co/HU5vlRoJ9…

They arrived together, walked in together, and got married together. That’s how you do it! Shannon &amp; Kenneth #marr… t.co/aCV7DBwLr… t.co/uARXabaSu…

Keziah made the most powerful vow to Jared today. The vow to wait until he could save his game. Then we all took a… t.co/iBevLry0N… t.co/SdyLkS2mK…

QLD Severe weather advice issued at 10:50am EST | Issued: Thursday at 10:50am ESTDescription: Severe weather advic… t.co/lGrGUiprD…

Despite the flash flooding, Martin &amp; Morgan just wed at the #brisbanepopupweddjng at @lightspacebrisbane with @elo… t.co/VEaMUSfUg… t.co/bUxlQFFDH…

How my complainants bless me t.co/SryergsZf…

From the @unpopularist💡 How my complainants bless me t.co/l1rbVgrfd…

“How my complainants bless me” — @JoshuaWithers t.co/EnfBngzU5… t.co/oKQJ3R19t…

I just published “How my complainants bless me” t.co/4OFrPPeGu…

My tips on how to be the best wedding reception MC - tag your MC in this one t.co/UK3PRauLe…

“I always thought I hated weddings, but I just hated how everyone else did it” Eric &amp; Rachel #marriedbyjosh t.co/yqRu4JZex…

QLD Flood warning issued at 12:30pm EST | Issued: Wednesday at 12:30pm ESTDescription: Flood warningSummary: Flood… t.co/saT53ZKy4…

You ok over there mate? 🐈 #steviewithers t.co/bx4xMo4gZ…

I got to brainstorming and wrote down some crazy wedding ideas t.co/qdmvhUDCn…

Danni and Rich #marriedbyjosh in Oregon and featured by White Magazine! t.co/qPGbEMY2L…

A good marriage celebrant starts the party on a high note, and fades into the background a… t.co/twVldRV4P… t.co/BAjiG0d01…

““When we first saw Josh, it was at a wedding expo. We were drawn to his outgoing nature, … t.co/dtwWJNuUb… t.co/db9aqqGlB…

If you follow the flock … t.co/N6y9RkrAi…

A good marriage ceremony is me, you, a couple of friends having a chat about marriage 🙌🏻 B… t.co/rrnyOCvhj… t.co/LRBQRcq7W…

Adrian + Elizabeth #marriedbyjosh with The Elopement Collective and Finch and Oak photography t.co/ZorDv8tZC…

You’ve got to click and scroll, but I did this with @hellobrittanyjane (what @thegraygang … t.co/WLLIWhkPK… t.co/8DXjE48Cb…

Carly &amp; Jon eloped to Byron Bay! #marriedbyjosh #elopementcollective #elopement #byronbayc… t.co/E56SpdMMj… t.co/3o96TJCuI…

From the @unpopularist💡 If you follow the flock … t.co/rBZzMNMZs…

Stuck for songs for your wedding? Here’s as massive list t.co/IP9vYiy5R…

“Josh is the absolute best of the best when it comes to celebrants. We love him so much th… t.co/jB4ODzPPg… t.co/ff3et1fBL…

I’m open to blog post ideas - anything you’d like help with that I could write about?

Breakfast with old friends ☕️🍳 t.co/hyxIYydxL…

Why marry? (or, what are the legal ties of marriage?) - t.co/A3jcg1WlI…

“Josh went above and beyond to make our wedding day extra special. He took the time to get… t.co/1sBjPTGZC… t.co/1EhviWAEU…

What is it like to hire Josh Withers? t.co/wZ99bOEwQ…

Saturday in Brisbane t.co/r5W8IRgyU…

What’s left over - t.co/UlVJfP3LH…

Rob promised to not get angry if Amanda brings more animals home. Amanda promised to try n… t.co/Wkr2QIf1k… t.co/6q0JCl8rR…

No union is more profound than marriage, for it embodies the highest ideals of love, fidel… t.co/1u7av6oVR… t.co/LF6ojFB4L…

The gift that keeps giving… - t.co/tmCvYkrhV…

From the @unpopularist💡 Say no t.co/64QnHFZed…

An issue with “Say ‘I do’ Down Under” - t.co/xMal74Znp…

Oh hey West Australia! t.co/OjQWg50mU…

Real // authentic // true // marriage ceremonies by mwah.

Danni &amp; Rich #marriedbyjosh wit… t.co/OY5khwyeZ… t.co/bgIPRP5lG…

“We are so thankful for you kind words &amp; wisdom during our ceremony” Russell + Brianna #marriedbyjosh 📷 We Are Twine t.co/8f32IsMrI…

The marriage ceremony: the best part of any wedding, elopement (or even a surprise engagem… t.co/LOvGW3CHQ… t.co/FuJ9ogLO8…

Where there’s a will there’s a pun about getting a will - t.co/BrbDVGg2u…

Choosing music for your wedding tip: Good music acts as a guide to good living. Let your wedding music be the soundtrack to your marriage.

Star ratings suck t.co/ak3yZBsKa…

My favourite iOS app has been bought by Apple and is now a free app! t.co/khcgrvr0b…

“The ‘0 to 1 Trap’ and Seven Other things I learned from Peter Thiel” — @farnamstreet t.co/3ZHcoUsAL… t.co/QbRtmI02K…

I’m in so much debt t.co/CxSgLrjFa…

A ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ review from Nikki and Darren, a million thanks you two! It was so amazing to … t.co/uj7DmzoLb… t.co/KTXleRrz1…

Just send the email t.co/dJ1DP3ifv…

💼 My favourite iOS app has been bought by Apple and is now a free app! 📰 t.co/G8VFnn4hp…

I’m in so much debt t.co/vWPupxY4P…

From the @unpopularist💡 I’m in so much debt t.co/gUurLFM5k…

Just send the email t.co/qeiQvUvWK…

Goodnight, Lancelin t.co/jsLgOGHH6…

They might not get the joke t.co/QvcTMsalN…

Corey &amp; Iana told us they wanted to elope on a different kind of beach. So we took them al… t.co/2S3GmPMTL… t.co/rv6SYMMH4…

Quite literally, his father. Ryan (and Meika) #marriedbyjosh 📷 Red Apple Photography 🏠 Glengariff Historic Estate t.co/q8mA86BZN…

From the @unpopularist💡 Just send the email t.co/dbFqDITd9…

Star ratings suck t.co/w0kEtikMF…

When it’s ok to send me that email t.co/NZP3elJjE…

Ebony &amp; Jake #marriedbyjosh with The Elopement Collective and Morgan Roberts! t.co/0MuyNRyP6…

From the @unpopularist💡 Star ratings suck t.co/EXpXdIbGE…

They might not get the joke t.co/xCW6i50QB…

A sneak peek at Ebony and Jake’s wedding vows t.co/6p2mOSDsT…

Ian and Irene #marriedbyjosh t.co/IrH2IliRJ…

“Josh was the first thing I booked, I needed to make sure I had him” Jamie + Di #marriedbyjosh 📷 Life, Love &amp; Light t.co/RE5olbiWO…

From the @unpopularist💡 They might not get the joke t.co/EfZP6f1wm…

New wedding TV show idea: Crossing Over with Josh Withers.

Love a good 90’s TV reference.… t.co/1tAszdgYB… t.co/bGduKBMZb…

On Saturday Ward &amp; Kirsty wanted a marriage but not a wedding, so we booked a table at @cu… t.co/ZymBSKIuZ… t.co/rfHp64Nlw…

Can wedding dresses stop being a thing? t.co/nUet9Ks6I…

Ward and Kirsty wanted to get married but they didn’t want a wedding, so we had lunch at @… t.co/yrRnFdguG… t.co/bmY7lPa6X…

Where did you meet your bride/groom/husband/wife?

Next week I’m joining some super smart people at the @eventmanagersnetwork event for wedding &amp; industry people in m… t.co/loAMBqcTY…

Weddings: not as important as marriages! t.co/dFANgJkF0…

Ann &amp; Alex asked me to not only be the voice of their ceremony, but their whole day. The … t.co/Ii5TJlmU0… t.co/NFvnwS3E4…

Vas and Felicia #marriedbyjosh t.co/XWxiklTOh… t.co/Z1M1AxxxX…

Tara and Will #marriedbyjosh t.co/x6bE9IJjJ…

Melanie &amp; Don #marriedbyjosh t.co/AmGwBAmBr…

Secret Brisbane River elopement! #brisbanecelebrant t.co/hHHOWf5r6… t.co/85hv2Mhfh…

This week’s @unpopularist #podcast is me + @JamesCridland talking about the business of being a futurologist t.co/Rz8VxEAqG… #trypod

Wanna be unpopular? So does my podcast guest today 🤓 Episode 7: Meet an Unpopular Futurologist, James Cridland t.co/s3c6lqrt6…

Social media is just a slang term for the current state of the internet t.co/tTlLyyZBy…

🆕 Unpopular podcast 🎙Episode 7: Meet an Unpopular Futurologist, James Cridland 🎧 t.co/ywsCsfzjb…

Cash is an old person’s way of paying t.co/Rwqb3BU5J…

I want this just because t.co/iMKKWExsd…

Jade + Lewis #marriedbyjosh with The Elopement Collective and Michael Briggs Photography! t.co/wQ5xzVYo0…

I know how hard it can be t.co/g2FCqRGoH…

Collaborating on a styled shoot with @lyndalcarmichaelphotography @ivyandbleuevents @petal… t.co/2s34zwX5X… t.co/XV8uuBmD5…

The world doesn’t need another Facebook Group t.co/gqiM7BwZ9…

Another day, another airport t.co/HqQnlMwNd…

“Nothing awakens us to the reality of life so much as true love” - Vincent Van Gogh

Australia - what a place to marry! This is Kieran and Steph, two legends that chose Uluru … t.co/xHIYW4xbl… t.co/K8WaGMRQh…

💼 Cash is an old person’s way of paying 📰 t.co/zWga8iMM4…

We already know we screwed up t.co/7kic0X2dC…

Social media is just a slang term for the current state of the internet t.co/hMN2z3KCf…

Such an amazing day on the east coast of Tasmania on Tuesday! Darren &amp; Nikki became husban… t.co/ET84obJka… t.co/j36OF7MD3…

The reality is that everyone has different realities t.co/ms8ydjfli…

Looking in all the right places t.co/jZyWahTaZ…

💼 The world doesn’t need another Facebook Group 📰 t.co/oBsOUjQgl…

An introduction to Zapier t.co/JpiHLWKEe…

From the @unpopularist💡 We already know we screwed up t.co/AwO08Gpc3…

Table next to me is a job interview, grade nine girl interviewing for a job at the cafe … I remember being way more scared than this girl

💼 How to download images to share (or: How to stop screenshotting photos for ‘gramming) 📰 t.co/Gdjm77Yf6…

Sing us a song, you’re the Piano Man t.co/U4T7VJXm6…

“Josh made our ceremony a fun part of the day, rather than necessary” Layton &amp; Laura #marriedbyjosh 📷 James Day t.co/nXfeLzpbf…

Bonus: I know the safety demo word for word now

Not feeling very woke // flight 3/3 for today, take me home to the Gold Coast, QF

Baby busted me creepin t.co/QYLcpMkX9…

From the @unpopularist💡 The reality is that everyone has different realities t.co/dsHmTfQ7H…

The best part about watching #maddow on Periscope is listening to the broadcaster’s comments t.co/Q9niJhtge…

If you’ve got some news you need to release, you’ve got about 10 minutes to get that press release drafted 9pm NYC and the world collapses

This is hilarious! @elonmusk as the Simpson’s monorail salesman! t.co/UeeNIBSM3…

Mere minutes until the world get’s to see Trump’s tax returns and I’m pretty sure Twitter’s gearing up the fail-whale

Silly ppl t.co/ZxLV8l7mf…

Pretended to be a wedding photographer today t.co/2T3ll0rnJ…

We’re paid to give a … t.co/d0aH0jpW7…

Courtney &amp; Andy #marriedbyjosh and featured in White Magazine! #lovemywhitemag t.co/76fHrdTP2…

In Nikki’s vows: “I’m so glad I extended the age range (on #Tinder) and swiped right on yo… t.co/etchmNyo4… t.co/S9alpBpQT…

From the @unpopularist💡 Looking in all the right places t.co/mRFoeKgYw…

Honeymoon Beach t.co/TkDaDA5HO…

My kind of post office t.co/pC3Cx56nS…

Decision making t.co/eYHQBSI76…

“It’s so refreshing to find a celebrant that doesn’t talk in hushed calming tones” Danielle + Lindsay #marriedbyjosh t.co/xRDqJ0cq3…

How we used to ‘gram, back in the good ol’ days t.co/JhXvawYyS…

From the @unpopularist💡 Sing us a song, you’re the Piano Man t.co/ypy9OZu2j…

Vanessa &amp; Hugo #marriedbyjosh photographed by @thebowphoto! “Everything Josh does is seaml… t.co/WxCBtJOrQ… t.co/yB7MP9Bbc…

💼 My greatest temptation, and why it should be yours 📰 t.co/kyxqTld8u…

From the @unpopularist💡 Decision making t.co/JVqU2Tx3c…

Talking about bridezillas t.co/37QbcYN3d…

Up above the t.co/4zMmWUq0a…

Bali’s a pretty awesome place to get married - if it’s on your list, check this out t.co/3unOSWn7j…

TFW the steaks are high 🐮👰🏼 Brittany &amp; Sean #marriedbyjosh with a herd of cows, the @elope… t.co/rhTgdkk2Y… t.co/LL0g3TkEQ…

☮️✡️💟⚛️ t.co/0fYvKhqnH…

Excited to be back in Far North Queensland a few times this year! This is Nina &amp; Gavin #ma… t.co/Ac2PtN64h… t.co/Rnbe2ByK4…

Confession: I have a playlist called ‘Great song’ that only has Dave Dobbyn’s Slice of Heaven on it. I’m cultured like that.

#urbex #streetshared #aov #weekly_feature #createexploretakeover #shotzdelight #mkexplore #gearednomad #rsa_streetv… t.co/c3Mqc561L…

Unpopular businesses are fuelled by strong opinion t.co/O9QJgi5Hf…

Unpopular by profession t.co/T8GhNHeBq…

Where does your learning happen? t.co/8HgNs4hMW…

Longest #marriageceremony ever! I started marrying Jess and Connor on January 4 in Melbour… t.co/JizE7MssX… t.co/0wzUZZ5Hg…

Terms and conditions apply t.co/8GGVCbOGb…

Courtney &amp; Andy’s wedding is featured on the #WhiteMagazine blog today! “You were absolute… t.co/jmKJiKh6N… t.co/mBEoPDDWr…

Facebook Live video opinion polls are dead t.co/xrOnePNSK…

Taxi drivers can’t see the automation forest through the Uber trees t.co/oV6crvwEF…

Adrian &amp; Katie 🎤 #marriedbyjosh 🎉 The Elopement Collective 📷 Finch &amp; Oak 🏠 Summergrove Estate t.co/XfvyEUZff…

I’m launching the Unpopular Business Workshop t.co/qRMThcBKy…

Step 1: Put effort into your marriage. Step 2: Enjoy your marriage. Step 3: Go to step 1.

From the @unpopularist💡 Where does your learning happen? t.co/ylBMglEGs…

#aggiewithers t.co/SbTCjgSXW…

“If you’re not paying for something online, you’re the product being sold” t.co/jDigUpbKG…

#teniellegetsold t.co/Cwro4cQQc…

Instead of a wedding rehearsal, I’ll come out and greet you at your wedding and make sure … t.co/GklPsWDEm… t.co/jg1OSsz1S…

You can only charge what you’re worth t.co/i49ZbDgsE…

The benefit of a plan t.co/UTrOjrYGL…

I said “if anyone has any objections to Britt &amp; Sean’s marriage, please come forward” and then this happened. A kin… t.co/mvU7D5wBI…

Mid-ceremony a kine of cows joined a handful of family to witness Brittany &amp; Sean exchange… t.co/b8DCJsSqU… t.co/rbBFLgzxE…

Why doesn’t everyone get married in the Gold Coast Hinterland? Seriously?! This is Tilly &amp;… t.co/cg8FP2hjz… t.co/fNYi7nWg6…

From the @unpopularist💡 Terms and conditions apply t.co/zBny5ChtP…

#aggiewithers t.co/KHswdttyc…

The simplest way you can begin your #marriageceremony calm and empowered? Walk in together… t.co/wfia08n5g… t.co/I2gHHGjjE…

The convert is more passionate t.co/jxhujhMNF…

Because I’m Happy! Ricky &amp; Amy rockin the aisle with Pharrell #marriedbyjosh 📷Ethereal Photography 🏠Flaxton Gardens t.co/QLq2wSoiQ…

I’m surrounded by so many spectacular woman, I’m even married to one - and as much as ever… t.co/QorTP2z2L… t.co/kveWdkZwh…

I think @GlennontheGC mistook me as a talent scout for one of a weekend TV show showcasing local hotspots. Also, Mudgeeraba isn’t terrible.

Because webcam hacking fear got to me t.co/gNQkwExfw…

RECORD SCRATCH

FREEZE FRAME

“Yup. That’s me. You’re probably wondering how I got into this situation.” t.co/2IvvgBCSg…

From the @unpopularist💡 “If you’re not paying for something online, you’re the product being sold” t.co/0Q0VmCceV…

From the @unpopularist💡 You can only charge what you’re worth t.co/Wbr50UcWp…

When laws and regulations block your path t.co/TM8qO4R3X…

Georgie and Simon #marriedbyjosh and filmed by Matt Barwick Films in Brisbane! t.co/iFym6LpvZ…

Tilly &amp; Connor came to Australia from the UK to get married but I couldn’t let them leave … t.co/ZFMWz8Vpr… t.co/DjbJZp1Kw…

Every day I dream of these donuts, @thecommonsmith @michaelbriggsphotography t.co/k4eGIV6xY…

Don’t be surprised when you see me admitted to rehab for my inbox zero addiction.

From the @unpopularist💡 The benefit of a plan t.co/BYLrCljEx…

Should the ‘failing media’ fight or flight? t.co/Vt4nmY9PY…

TFW you have @shortstopmelbourne donuts after the #marriageceremony #notasponsoredpost #bu… t.co/xrvPbRmNy… t.co/LpZq5ndvs…

“Josh encapsulated our philosophy to a T, we could tell that he really paid attention” Jess &amp; Ben #marriedbyjosh t.co/CV8wWf9jD…

Wanna be unpopular? So does my podcast guest today 🤓 Episode 6: The Unpopular creative, Tess McCabe t.co/nqingaEbC…

The word ‘wedding’ flared up Irene’s anxiety like oil to a flame. So we said, let’s scrap … t.co/aLDMoVOR0… t.co/NUVeggRDC…

💼 Podcast Episode 6: The Unpopular creative, Tess McCabe 📰 t.co/pyxOY7LQx…

🆕 Unpopular podcast 🎙Episode 6: The Unpopular creative, Tess McCabe 🎧 t.co/rb0ImWLN9…

Hell. No. t.co/5kK0IWfzw…

From the @unpopularist💡 The convert is more passionate t.co/se3NYFWMh…

A kid three rows up just screamed “I need a nap!!” We all dude little bro, we all do. SYD ✈️ OOL

From the @unpopularist💡 Should the ‘failing media’ fight or flight? t.co/Mrfixn2uc…

If you zoom right in on my face you can see it crystallising in the below zero temps. Hash… t.co/RGTBkHiSu… t.co/ikZiN6S7F…

Voicemail message: “Hi, it’s James, I’m out doing all the things you’re dreaming about doing so leave a message”

#humansofmyinbox

Dropbox begins alienating pro users, but renaming Pro to Plus. I trust this means at sometime I need to hire staff or change to @BoxHQ?

I’m with @PaulineHansonOz, hearing only @shakira on the radio would suck.

I like the talent vending machine idea. It delivers a real sense of worth and value /s t.co/1DasyzltE…

Meg and Shane dressed how they wanted, arrived to their ceremony together, without a brida… t.co/bS4oDFNCK… t.co/aHs9ohT39…

Including, or excluding, the new expenses of doing business t.co/mfcJzsbnP…

Still alive #88evil

Just beeped at a guy who cut me off and then I read his number plate. This may be my last tweet. t.co/S2gIgMHBJ…

I answer the question on the WedVid talkshow “personal vows or Googled vows” t.co/Iqh7LlbRv…

Sydney 🌈 March 5, 2017 t.co/AIG2ymsiq…

We set fire to the rain and it went away for a few minutes so Wayne and Dianne could wed i… t.co/IQehRHeMH… t.co/bsBFZ47MT…

#WeThePeople t.co/BwwN4h5AL…

Hey @gravityforms and @stripe - when will we be able to #ApplePay with the two of you?

Everything we know about quitting is wrong (and happy birthday Ori) t.co/lRGMt9RzF…

When you say nothing at all t.co/w1KeerEwz…

When was the last time you asked ‘why?’ t.co/Hcq95rZD2…

“ASS” – Elon Musk t.co/0C9kOckXM…

“We’re number one on Google” t.co/sSf3Yn1fC…

#brookeandjoshgetmarried #marriedbyjosh #celebrantselfie #letsonlyusehashtags #captionsare… t.co/YfsCQGwZe… t.co/52BTyJ4ov…

I’m not busy, but I understand priorities t.co/QwUny93DM…

Weddings are for happiness 🎉Vikram and Jemma #marriedbyjosh t.co/rui50sCf7…

#brookeandjoshgetmarried #marriedbyjosh #celebrantselfie #letsonlyusehashtags #captionsare… t.co/UkQDUbcKI… t.co/uRHsbgl9J…

From the @unpopularist💡 “ASS” – Elon Musk t.co/7hfhkW9uR…

Can I get a discount? t.co/KOBLAcKaA…

10 tips on dealing with the in-laws t.co/yKIXsoA81…

What if everything wasn’t about your price? t.co/PuLnooguU…

Personal wedding vows trump any other personalisation you could do at a wedding or elopeme… t.co/bXNdIbrhd… t.co/5JZPnVW8S…

Let’s ‘bump the lamp’ t.co/1W5A0N7gu…

All awards are stupid t.co/zkNlyl8Gq…

My little #podcast with a really popular name just hit its first 1000 http requests for it… t.co/dMZQp2dnu… t.co/OoYIg3AsX…

❤️ Warehouse Weddings with @jimmy_izophotography in Perth #perthcelebrant #perthwedding #p… t.co/Plv0WKfNu… t.co/pX2zCNSMN…

From the @unpopularist💡 Can I get a discount? t.co/BxoBvoxlM…

Wanna be unpopular? So does my podcast guest today 🤓 Episode 5: Holt me, thrill me, kill me, meet the Unpopular Director of Connections

Have I ever told you about my mate Briggsy? He takes epic elopement shots like this one. J… t.co/kzyeBAvgg… t.co/nvK8WNB4a…

Come ‘ere you 🙏🏻 Eric &amp; Rachel #marriedbyjosh in a private elopement in Byron Bay with the… t.co/Cjzo8RRFL… t.co/hX2kzNbbB…

🆕 Unpopular podcast 🎙Episode 5: Holt me, thrill me, kill me, meet the Unpopular Director of Connections 🎧 t.co/d1lx77pkz…

💼 Podcast Episode 5: Holt me, thrill me, kill me, meet the Unpopular Director of Connections 📰 t.co/o4IgEhiaU…

What are you measuring? t.co/8AoOX3i3E…

Come ‘ere you 🙏🏻 Eric &amp; Rachel #marriedbyjosh in a private elopement in Byron Bay with the… t.co/Cjzo8RRFL… t.co/JZFPRPFtS…

Felicity + Mark eloped! #marriedbyjosh 🏞 Wendy’s Secret Garden 📷 Emma Hampton 🎉 The Elopement Collective t.co/bWn072Q6r…

From the @unpopularist💡 What if everything wasn’t about your price? t.co/SFKTxY5wV…

From the @unpopularist💡 Let’s ‘bump the lamp’ t.co/dTwEnMP75…

Megan’s pumped! #JointAddress

This would be a great time to drop a press release you wanted no-one to read #jointsessions

Airpods in, angry face read, let’s #jointsession

Bali 🏝 Wedding 👰🏼 Questions answered:

Q) Can we get legally married in Bali? A) Yes, but… t.co/6SR2TTFUb… t.co/6OdrtOPef…

Sooo, @kissmeyoufool_dilhari - do you guys even celebrate your first wedding anniversary t… t.co/TOIQHrrXT… t.co/XzCtnn8MB…

I just saw @pheeeel24 post a romantic post about a bottle of scotch and my mind went right… t.co/Pn7RVdMuU… t.co/YhKRXBMYI…

Thinking is the hardest work t.co/kQCOb01aQ…

From the @unpopularist💡 All awards are stupid t.co/qeKWMMGAP…

Watch Sarah and Wez’s elopement film t.co/LxMVYkDO6…

💼 1-click creation of voicemails with Workflow 📰 t.co/6in6O91gK…

Nothing I ever say at your wedding will be as good as what you say to each other in your v… t.co/5omnxIVjH… t.co/9952fZxVF…

I just uploaded “Two tap recording of a voicemail into Dropbox” to #Vimeo: t.co/aYmcWZ8u4…

Aggie hears her name in a Facebook video from @bekgrace_ of Sharli screaming “AGGIE!” #aggiewithers t.co/gFi7dJCnf…

I really like the idea of all of the world leaders having a group chat where they all just share gifs and memes

From the @unpopularist💡 What are you measuring? t.co/oxxpcAuwc…

We’re super proud to see Shawn &amp; Chelsea’s Icelandic elopement all over the net today, tha… t.co/6GvubRj3i… t.co/5gg6MhfIJ…

My favourite Kiwi met my favourite person t.co/rLPNNuGeQ…

Can we say the same thing, but differently? t.co/RKhaJ3dUC…

Is it ok to like your own photo on Instagram? I just really like this photo. It’s Shawn + … t.co/6YzTKB7rH… t.co/lLkmwbp39…

“You made it more of a celebration than a formal event” - Kirsten &amp; Scott #marriedbyjosh 📷 Heart &amp; Colour t.co/rmBfhhGSS…

Why I don’t mind that @trevorlong emails me t.co/Xroh4BIvV… and why you should write emails that matter t.co/GBQFMKal4…

From the @unpopularist💡 Thinking is the hardest work t.co/XkdllTLmu…

Over on the @hellomaymagazine blog today is a little epic elopement in Iceland 🇮🇸 featurin… t.co/agmgPqOKM… t.co/jHqhNsSks…

I think the #ceremony should be the best, most fun, most meaningful, most enjoyable part o… t.co/lBq2WO2sA… t.co/DAADUiH0y…

Beautiful one day, cloudy with a chance of a thunderstorm, the next #palmbeach t.co/U6pIzvyMz…

This week it’s forecasted rain all week … glad I saw a drop of sun today at #currumbin then 🏖 t.co/qU5rdJGWZ…

The saddest things businesses say t.co/lJiLP8eIh…

You might notice if you go back through my photos that’s you’ll never see me reading from … t.co/vO3LXsY5I… t.co/vnuXoCbmD…

“Behind every complaint there is a deep personal longing” - John Gottman. What is your spouse longing for from you?

That time I made a marriage at a music festival 🎸 t.co/7DjJBE9om… t.co/UYlLhh2Dk…

Why does this exist? t.co/dqyB5Dh21…

My first automation t.co/9rE18I4Ru…

Confused ring bearer t.co/OuWJL2IJc… t.co/k2uoQPtfz…

Neil &amp; Vanessa just tried to surprise everyone with a wedding … but I think everyone alr… t.co/TNIA0dRAT… t.co/yr5SydvPZ…

Dilute or double down? t.co/NH4ZN2pZ8…

Goodnight, Brisbane t.co/saHy1prge…

Kayla &amp; Kieran #marriedbyjosh at the @treasurycasino and now they’re 🗽 NYC bound for their… t.co/FsTvLpAUk… t.co/wuo6JQApT…

4 years ago today I made a radio t.co/llZNEbMz0…

I was funny 2 years ago t.co/gp23KWubh…

An easy thing every retail business should do on social on public holidays t.co/PvDSa1JC9…

The amazing @tenistolt has been a great friend to me for over thirteen years, so I’m super proud to have sat in the… t.co/wEjzMmGKN…

Under who’s authority? t.co/UldUe3srA…

Spending tonight with @uber_australia’s @tenistolt and their creative legends at @4040creative talking about #AllTh… t.co/AXQxe0kYr…

Selfie: the photo that looks awesome even if it’s terrible! 📷 Just For Love Photography 🍔 Chur Burger t.co/IgXqA2V4K…

Dealing with failure t.co/bjhCjs8vD…

Pro Marriage Tip: Perfection is impossible. Don’t aim for perfection in your marriage or home. Instead, aim for progress.

From the @unpopularist💡 Under who’s authority? t.co/encbv05AH…

Unpopular to change the date? t.co/SBj0qlfeL…

The long tail t.co/6IflL1QZM…

Seth Godin on being unpopular t.co/pYhMM2BPi…

I just earned the ‘Night Out’ badge on @untappd! t.co/ON8KW4V6q…

Drinking a Hāpi Daze by @garage_project at @grillmeatsbeer — t.co/qZHQ8GF9L…

💼 What if they don’t reply to my email? 📰 t.co/WcEUbAPMq…

From the @unpopularist💡 Dealing with failure t.co/LaDE9xVA4…

Welcome to the Unpopularist t.co/xRKelWAMW…

Almost lost @philrogg down a crevice t.co/NgWJjgsNg…

Explored the Paths of the Dead today, aka, the #PutangiruaPinnacles, a few hours outside of #Wellington #NewZealand t.co/J2pU1o4uI…

Life changing beer. That should be New Zealand’s new slogan. - Drinking a BitterBitch by @ParrotDog - t.co/GCpFck2Jr… #photo

Simone and Evan had riverside delight #marriedbyjosh t.co/wsmg0SyNz…

💼 Join the Unpopular Slack community 📰 t.co/lNwdlSkJ4…

Things I should see while in Wellington, NZ?

From the @unpopularist💡 When laws and regulations block your path t.co/71w2hv8Uw…

10kg of carry on luggage with a 7kg limit

OOL✈️WEL

hashtag gangstatravla hashtag jetstarlyf

Alex &amp; Jon eloped seconds from their home in Wollongong, at the peak of Mount Kiera - and … t.co/WAeK9EMBE… t.co/tjIjqrwq8…

Whenever I have an early flight I summon the alarm clocks of travel past t.co/DfJe4T7fg…

Tilly and Connor detoured off their Asian holiday from the UK to tie the knot on Australia… t.co/zWCtKi1uK… t.co/smcaUbLUu…

What your email address looks like t.co/5FvQw4Le4…

… and the bride wore, Grace Loves Lace t.co/nOJlMjnR4…

From the @unpopularist💡 Welcome to the Unpopularist t.co/vwGgS7izx…

From the @unpopularist💡 The long tail t.co/vTY4HK2n7…

From the @unpopularist💡 Unpopular to change the date? t.co/7Bv7uWBJk…

From the @unpopularist💡 An easy thing every retail business should do on social on public holidays t.co/p991if7vk…

From the @unpopularist💡 A sign t.co/Q6UzvHI0X…

From the @unpopularist💡 Dilute or double down? t.co/uPyUnc6nL…

From the @unpopularist💡 My first automation t.co/IUMsSkUO4…

From the @unpopularist💡 The saddest things businesses say t.co/vkI7Vwwj9…

From the @unpopularist💡 Why does this exist? t.co/0lMr0VR25…

From the @unpopularist💡 Can we say the same thing, but differently? t.co/mjwF9XGrQ…

From the @unpopularist💡 “We’re number one on Google” t.co/5er5uTugm…

From the @unpopularist💡 I’m not busy, but I understand priorities t.co/X9C7KrwP7…

From the @unpopularist💡 Everything we know about quitting is wrong (and happy birthday Ori) t.co/MBFHQV5IC…

From the @unpopularist💡 When was the last time you asked ‘why?’ t.co/RHK1bTeZC…

From the @unpopularist💡 When you say nothing at all t.co/p4bp9GmCx…

From the @unpopularist💡 What your email address looks like t.co/AaAZ9WnwQ…

From the @unpopularist💡 Social media is just a slang term for the current state of the internet t.co/DgAEgGIqF…

💼 An introduction to Zapier 📰 t.co/lpygHsu76…

Three things on vows: 1️⃣ I don’t do ‘repeat after me’, I’d prefer you to read from a card… t.co/uvtxvWQOH… t.co/F3zY1TJAl…

Apparently we’re ending all jokes with the words ‘sad’ now. Sad!

Kirsten and Scott got casual at Casuarina t.co/I4v4mnTsa…

Connor &amp; Tilly, two Brits travelling Asia, decided to drop in on Australia to get #married… t.co/MgzHrYmNm… t.co/TyEmV39Q9…

From the @unpopularist💡 I want this just because t.co/Tf2WSJwSw…

💼 What is Facebook even for? 📰 t.co/oEal7tiir…

Wanna be unpopular? So does my podcast guest today 🤓 Episode 4: An Unpopular cup of Tea (Smith) t.co/5T1WLL945…

💼 Podcast Episode 4: An Unpopular cup of Tea (Smith) 📰 t.co/1iWAKprbz…

🆕 Unpopular podcast 🎙Episode 4: An Unpopular cup of Tea (Smith) 🎧 t.co/uVJnO8unc…

This is … it’s just … beautiful t.co/vM67laWuC…

“Josh is just the best. We eloped a few weeks ago and it was perfect. Josh was fun, charmi… t.co/50fHDDVSn… t.co/UwOvabkvQ…

Did you choose your wedding photographer based on price or photos?

SSL Check: scan your website for non-secure content t.co/dcq7G6t9C…

I’m launching the Unpopular Business Workshop t.co/DwipatKEp… t.co/myZAuCz3H…

I just uploaded “Create a right-click and resize service on macOS” to #Vimeo: t.co/jOdWrTZSw…

I tweeted about t.co/2IqOUnZWN… purely to see my tweet on a business card - also, don’t be afraid to sign up for nerd emails

From the @unpopularist💡 I know how hard it can be t.co/l42azce28…

Marrying family! Aunty Sue &amp; Jon #marriedbyjosh with @paulbamford making photos t.co/aSYt0e7xR… t.co/8jUYYSy6W…

I just uploaded “Introduction to Zapier!” to #Vimeo: t.co/uWEOeyFR3…

💼 Lifting your social game 📰 t.co/jf0tn2iZL…

“I promise to face every day as a new day – to fall in love with you all over again every … t.co/InBpiQ1nt… t.co/LdQbF5noO…

The Florida part brought me relief t.co/IhFkgLTar…

Rebecca and Simon #marriedbyjosh t.co/QlvkOZUwq…

Wedding in a 🍔 shop! Why not? 📷 @justforlovephotography #brisbanecelebrant t.co/3A203JE1s… t.co/Jva5rzdIt…

From the @unpopularist💡 We’re paid to give a … t.co/Ca7c59Sn2…

💼 Zero cost, quick, and easy way to accept credit card payments 📰 t.co/leLe8RtiN…

☑️ epic hill ☑️ epic view ☑️ Iceland ☑️ two feet and a heartbeat = elopement ceremony prep… t.co/42gCQUgR9… t.co/AMIKtPILs…

Full-time #celebrant, part-time Mortal Kombat coach.

Rob &amp; Ambre #marriedbyjosh with swee… t.co/Uhdevgi9K… t.co/sSMm7gy5P…

Joel &amp; Liezl partied at Sirromet winery! t.co/VhfjiNgC3…

💼 Donald Trump is asking terrible questions, we need to ask better questions in our contact forms 📰 t.co/A8GuGeK3q…

Pro Marriage Tip: Never stop being curious about your spouse. There’s always more for you to learn about them.

From the @unpopularist💡 Talking about bridezillas t.co/sDycAH4Rx…

Who exchanges vows first? A quick game of #paperscissorsrock to find out.

Kim &amp; Ama #marr… t.co/f7h5eoEzB… t.co/NGEgl8pEc…

Lauren &amp; Samantha #marriedbyjosh t.co/uV5jLiox9…

💼 Introduction to the Slippery Dip method of creating a customer journey 📰 t.co/rYmyu3UCQ…

💼 Setting up awesome keyboard shortcuts on your Mac and iOS devices 📰 t.co/P3JQgLB5D…

From the @unpopularist💡 Unpopular businesses are fuelled by strong opinion t.co/81HSP6duV…

Will accidentally fell in love with a hippie from work, Sarah. The Peggs #marriedbyjosh 📷… t.co/I2ifEV0Pp… t.co/uZYlsM5ue…

Notice how you can’t see me in this photo? That’s because I’m not a terrible celebrant tha… t.co/GgCoY0noB… t.co/alku951XL…

“You’re so open about what you stand for, &amp; they come across in your wonderful ceremonies.” - Simone and Evan #marriedbyjosh 📷 Tara Croser t.co/uq0ZOuLEb…

From the @unpopularist💡 Unpopular by profession t.co/hJ8BQYSVB…

Trying to find flights to Bali for a wedding &amp; my schedule is super tight

Is there a tool to see which flights are arriving into an airport days/months in advance? Like a reverse flight tool?

As a stakeholder in @QueenslandRail, a QLD taxpayer, I vote the free wifi is shutdown - it’s a poor use of resources t.co/9wnewiYpZ…

It took four minutes 😂 @QueenslandRail t.co/cTtu2mHN3…

This is so true. Source: I’m a marriage celebrant. t.co/mOsvzJDEk…

Every time I jump a @QueenslandRail train I’m reminded at their archaic view of wifi usage between Robina &amp; Bris t.co/etOM8o81r…

“Look, you want to know what marriage is really like? Fine. You wake up, she’s there. You come back from work, she’… t.co/GAf8kipaX…

🎼 I can leavvveee, my clothes on 🎷 photo by @heartandcolour in the #bluemountains for the … t.co/sFZScjMMV… t.co/pY5imHOei…

Emma and Marcus #marriedbyjosh and made up by The Beauty Lineup 💅🏼 t.co/xtUjUAzk8…

From the @unpopularist💡 Facebook Live video opinion polls are dead t.co/UCoYQtDlF…

Better together // Valentine’s Day

Photo by our friends @lukeandmallory in Portland t.co/1csFfhBax… t.co/kzBO9o7Qf…

From the @unpopularist💡 Taxi drivers can’t see the automation forest through the Uber trees t.co/OT9mqWN0s…

Yesterday (yes, a Monday) these two wed in secret overlooking Wollongong with the @elopeme… t.co/zWfkjftcY… t.co/xBfHo9Pkv…

Good wedding vows make the recipient feel // photo of Jake exchanging his vows with Ebony … t.co/9T5Bw2BEA… t.co/opTjIQNEO…

When I grow up I want to be a punny Thai restaurant t.co/twVL7TcJJ…

“Josh kicked off our special day by conducting the ceremony exactly as we described to him” - Joel + Liezl 📷 Hannah Blackmore Photography t.co/zbODKGMUV…

Goodnight, Wollongong t.co/bpjALYeuW…

It’s not a real elopement if there’s no ⚠️ Danger sign t.co/SxwvYX0Y3…

Wanna be unpopular? So does my podcast guest today 🤓 Episode 3: An Unpopular Day, James Day t.co/T5gGRTYId…

💼 Podcast Episode 3: An Unpopular Day, James Day 📰 t.co/FRcSUAgbJ…

🆕 Unpopular podcast 🎙Episode 3: An Unpopular Day, James Day 🎧 t.co/YuuTVaRdf…

Nice ride, Gunners t.co/tsWoGOpnJ…

From the @unpopularist💡 What your email address looks like t.co/mWJamCGOI…

No, I am fake news t.co/ZiU8oozwe…

Answering the question: Am I a priest? t.co/YcuPwJ0dL…

💼 Email templates (often) suck 📰 t.co/SVQ9kAxmm…

From the @unpopularist💡 Everything we know about quitting is wrong (and happy birthday Ori) t.co/RfkDJq82m…

Radio people/audio people/podcasters … you’ll want to spend this $1.90 t.co/YhwBnWEXw…

Did you see us in the Collective Hub magazine?! t.co/LEyKoXtiN…

☄️ Hot Smoko today 😱 38℃ t.co/OMZB1dOUN…

I wonder if @QuickBooks @QuickBooksAU thought about this hero image on their landing page? t.co/Csuga5vuv…

From the @unpopularist💡 When was the last time you asked ‘why?’ t.co/YgrOBxYS7…

“You sponsored by Apple or something?” asks the barista, delivering a solid burn to the visiting marriage celebrant

Goodnight, Albury/Wodonga t.co/5CBcg94ww…

Someone’s excited! 📷 Love Is a Place Photography ⛰ Midginbill Hill t.co/wXbfrZkjn…

Every time I see an A380 I can’t help thinking what a big sexy frikkin plane it is.

QantasLink Dash 8 that is supposed to take me from Sydney to Albury broke down on the runway … good thing I’m fl… t.co/9tCUX7q5e…

QantasLink Dash 8 that is supposed to take me from Sydney to Albury broke down on the runway … good thing I’m flying a day early :/

Srsly?

First America came for our non-existent President Trumble, then they came for our Koalas. Is this war yet? t.co/TgGS5ZoJk…

Subscribe to my audacious/awesome/exciting/well described wedding blog on your iPhone or iPad with Apple News at t.co/jA4c80TlJ…

I smelt this smell on Wednesday, it’s a nice smell t.co/b440Ud6af…

From the @unpopularist💡 “We’re number on on Google” t.co/7TQJarT3Q…

From the @unpopularist💡 I’m not busy, but I understand priorities t.co/2dsEMDwKE…

Up at 4:30am this morning to drop my little bro off at the airport, so I’m on a morning walk earlier than normal – … t.co/ebADaYqjN…

Wedding industry events: the only guy, at the back of the room, drinking t.co/ff4YvxK0R…

Most wedding industry events. Me being the occasional guy 😆 📷 by @artefact.photography.stu… t.co/D5TmGDcZY… t.co/cL7wptvhQ…

My two brothers, Emmett &amp; Zac, and my dad, Clint 😊 t.co/9SrgzBi2k…

Melanie &amp; Don #marriedbyjosh with The Elopement Collective and Morgan Roberts on Mount Tamborine t.co/AmGwBAmBr…

We said goodbye to my grandpa today from his legacy, the Gold Coast Seaway t.co/DhgWi2dH9…

From the @unpopularist💡 Can we say the same thing, but differently? t.co/kKL6qUT0g…

🌈 Beenleigh: the rainbow connection t.co/WPI6rpdHn…

Andrew + Natalie #marriedbyjosh 📷 Finch &amp; Oak ⛳ Summergrove Estate 🎉 The Elopement Collective t.co/LRvKlHmXs…

💼 See your website through someone else’s eyes 📰 t.co/TnCYBzVDO…

From the @unpopularist💡 The saddest things businesses say t.co/wOlAHftGF…

Brunch at @balconybyronbay’s launch of their new pre and post-wedding events 🍹 #byronbaywe… t.co/nTgrc8d61… t.co/xv8NZNrso…

Less Stuff // More Meaning t.co/MHLMuFNZ1…

Huge if true t.co/LhyZNk76h…

Huge if true t.co/G2vs5OdBG…

So @warehouseno5 doesn’t do the cafe/coworker thing anymore apparently 🙁 t.co/OByRI6lcE…

Not sure where I’m going, pissed that no provider can take responsibility for a $600 unwarranted/extra charge because of a group failure

It’s the perfect storm of responsibility - I’ve pursued every company for reimbursement

Really care that it cost me $600 to stay the night in the only hotel, and now @QBEaus don’t cover ‘taking an hour to get to the gate’

They delayed taxiiing to the gate for about an hour so I missed my connecting @airberlin flight. @qantas, @emirates and @airberlin don’t …

Travellers, can you offer any help? Last October my @Qantas ticketed @emirates flight landed on-time but @dusairport delayed taxiing for …

I call my own shots, largely based on an accumulation of data t.co/bWfACD3Jg…

When you sign your marriage paperwork with me, it’s all digital with an #ipadpro and an #a… t.co/WrSJddZxo… t.co/9uZ6jk82v…

“Josh’s ability as a speaker is only surpassed by his ability as humorist” Melissa &amp; Chris #marriedbyjosh 📷 KCL t.co/EdMoKj1CK…

How many cats you know roll like this? Not many. If any? t.co/KXqWpXapU…

“Without music, life would be a mistake” - Nietzsche

Who’s playing the music at your wedding?

The groom’s brother roasts everyone bar his new sister-in-law. He’s not stupid.

Photo by … t.co/KtwoQAIWM… t.co/gXdix8QIU…

After the turbulent week in Australian and American politics, Australians have had enough and we’re sending a diplo… t.co/tqP72Gs0Z…

President of Australia, Malcolm Trumble t.co/Emb26Amm9…

Sitting in front of a blank page trying to write vows? Here’s some questions to ask yourself t.co/lGG7Z8Ss3…

I didn’t even ask if anyone objected 👅 photo by @nicksimphotos t.co/JX71xOegb… t.co/t0zkmGRWY…

#PutOutYourSmartcards t.co/xhq4UmKfg…

We lost my grandpa this week, on the random chance that someone on Twitter knew Dal Withers (who knows, right?), here’s the memorial details t.co/cPgwRDOhi…

From the @unpopularist💡 Why does this exist? t.co/2NYJVvgkc…

💼 Free stuff has it’s place (P.S. legitimate free stuff inside) 📰 t.co/BDm3SSAFf…

Andrew + Rebecca #marriedbyjosh 🍃 The Elopement Collective ⛰ Byron View Farm 📷 Morgan Roberts 🌺 Pack a Perfect Party t.co/WscgLcTvb…

💼 How to break through the noise? Stop fibbing 📰 t.co/kgbmpHRv9…

Glad to be back in the office after a week away from internet, phone, technology, social, whatever t.co/oC43rzya4…

You see that little black thing on a pole - that’s a 🎥 @mevocamera streaming your wedding live 📱online! 📷 by my mate @shane_shepherd 🤘🏻 t.co/ClNuAzs5b…

Does tap mean something else in America? t.co/ra5QTl3cu…

The wedding tax, and how to avoid it t.co/CeC9a4Guo… t.co/801mE6UOZ…

“You were a ray of sunshine on a very rainy, stormy day!” Gavin + Natasha 🎉 #marriedbyjosh 📷 Aaron Shum 🏖 Noosa t.co/8PAxcffYc…

Right in the middle of Sydney, we created something magical t.co/CO9tuC61p…

💼 Using Calendly to make appointment scheduling simple 📰 t.co/T6KC8vu92…

Wanna be unpopular? So does my podcast guest today 🤓 Episode 2: Unpopular photographer, Morgan Roberts t.co/ix3596V0e…

💼 Podcast Episode 2: Unpopular photographer, Morgan Roberts 📰 t.co/C0W8FobzQ…

🆕 Unpopular podcast 🎙Episode 2: Unpopular photographer, Morgan Roberts 🎧 t.co/gBQMDlLsX…

“Here’s a photo of everyone with a double chin from laughing so hard” - Mitchell &amp; Hannah 📷 Jessie Dains t.co/Sz1Q5nGZc…

From the @unpopularist💡 My first automation t.co/3Az6n86YC…

Have you considered holding a weekly marriage meeting? t.co/D928wKpvm…

💼 Why we don’t do giveaways, or freebies anymore 📰 t.co/Rg6KN7DKc…

Thinking about wedding creation differently - t.co/RQm31psoq…

From the @unpopularist💡 Dilute or double down? t.co/IoV8vLK42…

Ben &amp; Khya #marriedbyjosh t.co/jCJWMBOK5…

How to avoid the evil “wedding tax” t.co/CeC9a4Guo…

From the @unpopularist💡 A sign t.co/JmUz7rLzr…

💼 What apps are on my phone? Todoist 📰 t.co/RYT4zNI3n…

Wedding mistakes you didn’t know existed - t.co/VckisoBrX…

One sexy plane t.co/lscSh7XSX…

Guy skulling from a goon bag on the M1 next to his ‘91 Ford Festiva at 5:39pm on Australia Day is obviously having #tay4hottest100 feelings

Double happiness ♥️♥️ Andy &amp; Chris #marriedbyjosh with @michaelbriggsphotography and @rede… t.co/eRbYorS7S… t.co/p2JYiyoP9…

Why I’ll always get AppleCare t.co/G2iVAko9f…

Australia, a fantastic place for people not born here to come and celebrate not hating som… t.co/14qYB6mZW… t.co/6GQ91HUOH…

From the @unpopularist💡 An easy thing every retail business should do on social on public holidays t.co/PIcq4y0of…

From the @unpopularist💡 Unpopular to change the date? t.co/r3CskJaST…

27 years ago today she met the world, and the world’s been a better place since. She’s truly the best human I know,… t.co/5tluJG9w0…

💼 Coaching and mentoring 📰 t.co/GgHEdTcbv…

From the @unpopularist💡 The long tail t.co/jRvjqsdni…

Craig and Lisa #marriedbyjosh 📽 Whitedress Productions 🏠 Osteria t.co/CjrIjD6Sy…

Here’s a smile story - our doctor on the news :) t.co/GF0OGQpu7…

💼 Resize images with a quick right click on macOS 📰 t.co/npbv9DFqh…

💼 Get a landline phone number for your mobile business 📰 t.co/tFbvjBcpp…

Someone just sent me a RAR file full of photos … it feels like 2002 again

From the @unpopularist💡 Seth Godin on being unpopular t.co/5O8sa0JDm…

Listening to @Hit105Breakfast and as the ads start I literally tried to skip through the ads … I listen to too many podcasts

Get a landline phone number for your mobile business 📰 t.co/tFbvjBcpp…

Find out the why behind the me, thanks to this White Mag interview t.co/pPIKS2h2l…

From the @unpopularist💡 Welcome to the Unpopularist t.co/hjbSIShFR…

Podcast Episode 1: Unpopular wedding DJ, Aaron Duncan 📰 t.co/rgTw2x5YG…

Unpopular has now launched … it’s a new business workshop thing I’m doing in 2017 - this post explains it t.co/UgCIJAbJY…

🆕 Unpopular podcast 🎙Episode 1: Unpopular wedding DJ, Aaron Duncan 🎧 t.co/BFY9JTMcm…

Wanna be unpopular? So does my podcast guest today 🤓 What is Unpopular? t.co/Eo2bLVnTb…

🆕 Unpopular podcast 🎙What is Unpopular? 🎧 t.co/pilxyq48W…

Good morning, Brisbane ✈️ • • • • • • #instagramaviation #ptk_vehicles #instaplane #airplane54 #instaaviation #avi… t.co/Qp9MM3xXK…

Elope 📷 @morganrobertsweddings ➕ @elopementcollective t.co/FJDNu7UIb… t.co/ilBLzKRNR…

tfw you drop sick marriage vows 😮 James &amp; Michaela #marriedbyjosh 📷 @morganrobertsweddings t.co/DkCkwV8ix… t.co/JHh58CEl0…

Thank god Roost were there to capture this - take me back to Iceland! t.co/YeV2H5YyV…

💻 MacBook have no go go ☹️ t.co/BjlcOy3gl…

Keeps me and three staff employed 🤘🏼 t.co/XHxSDf4E8…

#marriedbyjosh unplugged, fresh from a thunderstorm, live at the @bris_powerhouse, photogr… t.co/M2890JtJ3… t.co/bjP0fnQwj…

What would need to happen for you to cancel your wedding?

Never talk about religion or politics they say. So instead, can we talk about Christianity, the movement of people … t.co/BoQ6uoLRk…

• • • • • • #skyporn #sunsetsniper #skylovers #sunrise_and_sunsets #sunsets #sunset_hub #sunsetlovers #instasunset… t.co/XYUDIdmVj…

#qantasviews t.co/WHTzGJcDy…

16 for 2016 - t.co/bMsUk5Jlt…

Ep of @clockwisepod talks @twitter being primary comm tool 4 @potus — what if gov just made twttr a public utility? t.co/ETlCls613…

I ain’t the sharpest tool in the shhheddd t.co/etkEYSBBC…

Justin and Annika’s epic Bells Rapids elopement outside of Perth t.co/cxIRj3SHO…

You should ask yourself these questions when writing your vows t.co/lGG7Z8Ss3…

Can everyone not post about the new season of Orange Is The New Black before everyone else has seen it #spoilers t.co/h2o5eA3ea…

Britt was interviewed by The Wellbeing Collective! t.co/p5mn8cS2N…

Laura and Mitch #marriedbyjosh and photographed by Shane Shepherd and also featured in White Magazine! t.co/qA9UbB67o… t.co/WtowasRIT…

Boat 🚣 people t.co/6jTB0AhnG…

Mitch is asked how he knew Laura was the one, “I knew because I knew" t.co/qA9UbB67o…

yay strayla …. :( t.co/4ZslHvA4W…

If I started charging my clients multi-hundred “other” un-explained charges I’d be on @ACurrentAffair9

I’m sure it’ll be dropped like last month’s $900 “other” charge.

This month there’s just a random $827 “other” charge that is taking 30 minutes to diagnose.

Every month I have to call @Telstra about my bill. Every fucking month. Why can’t @Optus or @VodafoneAU be better so I could jump ship.

Talking ‘bout love on North Straddie ☀️ Josh &amp; Skye #marriedbyjosh 📷 by my old friends at Evernew Studio! t.co/1rkazRA0w…

I’m Shannon Noll, let me back into Crazy Horse, is the line of the year

Cheap bulldog in Robina t.co/eVV415yy0…

Free terrible Dick Smith TV in Robina t.co/uK4rzZroo…

Consider the new bridge construction style trend for your marriage ceremony 📷 @michaelbrig… t.co/EOVJOAw0A… t.co/7wuFKRfxp…

Pushing through this stifling hot Gold Coast 🏖🌋☄️ summer by dreaming of ❄️☃️🗻 snow-capped … t.co/ohM5xdc2F… t.co/LTTFXGWGo…

“Just wanted to say thank you for making our day so special, you really do an amazing job … t.co/bbMO7iEXN… t.co/JYFRTYAH4…

Strippers on the bucks night?! Does anyone still do this anymore?

“Josh,

I just wanted to drop you a quick note to thank you for helping to make Courtney &amp;… t.co/HFcjQn5Iv… t.co/hEEGUpdya…

I’m an ugly laugher 📷 by @miltonganphoto t.co/BFNJjPJNm…

“You were absolutely fantastic- You set the mood for the day from the start and we cannot … t.co/ofmMqxbdS… t.co/GFKwaWBJa…

The five people you want at your wedding to make it awesome! t.co/h3dZOcxFZ…

I’m standing in the 35 degree Brisbane heat, wrapped up like a burrito in a fancy suit at … t.co/D3ZSR3NpK… t.co/1926oJKAH…

Our culture and our history is our responsibility, not an advertising agency’s. 2/2

Australia rests/dashes its hopes for our culture on a lamb ad and think that the only sheep in question are on a barbecue. 1/2

Can I interest you in a late-model husband? Free floormats? 💒 Lauren &amp; Michael #marriedbyjosh at Coolibah Downs with Evernew Studio t.co/LjC1Go1AB…

Five years ago tonight got, on a hot and sweaty Friday the 13th in Cairns, I asked Britt t… t.co/0Anvx4dDU… t.co/47hg9CTaM…

On bridal parties t.co/aJ7JS9gvJ…

My @Xero and @ANZ_AU hate each other 😰 t.co/ocR3VWjW7…

2017 weddings by the numbers - t.co/VXHLijp2Y…

Before your ceremony I let all your guests know how it is: no long faces, this is the best part of the day, please clap, cheer &amp; scream! t.co/8FOPDEFCi…

I was lucky enough to be interviewed on Alison’s UK wedding blog - Plans and Presents! t.co/Xi6jbdaeL…

“Thank you SO much for being the most amazing celebrant ever. You were hilarious, friendly… t.co/IuM3kTQWd… t.co/y8nCutiba…

Put your hands up if you’re planning on Snapchatting Fraser and Caitlyn’s wedding ceremony 🤳🏻 no need, Col Hockey’s on the job today t.co/f6YPAftkv…

Goodnight, Brisbane t.co/a7WSZqAUv…

Brides, throwing cats … that’s right t.co/8r50i2RyI…

Listening to a lifetime of stories from my grandpa this week. He’s not doing well but still has a camera-ready grin… t.co/kFBozmX81…

Overpopulation/population explained t.co/kTBEKEJZP…

What was the last wedding tradition you questioned?

And that’s when I become M.C.G. Hammer! 📷 @jamesdeank t.co/od7rg6m2q… t.co/iZXq9U1HK…

How sweet it is to be loved by you t.co/4KeCgyWy4…

The one simple thing you can do to make your wedding speech awesome - t.co/vvsYAcdj8…

Bec got me a tux shirt in case I forgot to dress formally to her wedding today 😂 t.co/4pJZ7M1TC…

Happy birthday Cup ‘O Phil t.co/0L0MA3t1z…

I get excited about ceremonies beginning 📷 @morganrobertsweddings with the @elopementcolle… t.co/9oehGB31Y… t.co/4ddri5VF0…

“When I reflect on our relationship over the past 9 years, I realise how quite a few thing… t.co/3hkZx2Io5… t.co/FJNYFRKqJ…

Kailah promised to always support Qld in the #StateOfOrigin - we talk about important things in your wedding ceremony 📷 Evernew Studio t.co/4LVKNrGUe…

Missing Iceland this afternoon 🇮🇸 Holly &amp; Tom #marriedbyjosh with the @elopementcollective… t.co/EPBbuC19C… t.co/otcwIKbkX…

One day this was Olivia’s parents lounge room, the next it was a ceremony space 🏡Alastair … t.co/34F7m9Uog… t.co/IG69RsL4G…

Almost everyone gets this wrong on their notice of intended marriage t.co/D0WMn3lmB…

From Perth to Byron Bay to elope 😍 Peta &amp; Jeff #marriedbyjosh with the @elopementcollectiv… t.co/zGfo19rsP… t.co/dV8vOvs6f…

Yay spelling t.co/JsXPECG8n…

Don’t ask that question, that’s my advice

My grandpa’s in hospital, so I’m visiting and I ask if he has any dark deep family secrets he thinks I should know …

How sweet it is to be loved by you // 📷 @lukeandmallory in #Portland t.co/mD5YO1s4u… t.co/L9p3WmNv1…

As I immerse myself more and more into the hashtag iPad lyf I find less and less apps and developers give a fuck about the iPad

Amazing: Britt got me a @WIRED subscription for Christmas

Not amazing: @WIRED’s iPad app is portrait only t.co/TG1FR6wbJ…

When you cross the line a winner 🥇Caitlin and Tim #marriedbyjosh 📷 by Finch &amp; Oak t.co/PaRsukcPS…

Sarah and Will began their marriage in the front yard of Sarah’s family home 👌🏼 Will + Sar… t.co/cHaVQWUS8… t.co/rQQ3g4eAR…

The last time I was in Melbourne I married Andy &amp; Chris in a bar, today I’m back in Old Ba… t.co/ysHArRzB5… t.co/3KNbbnD5E…

The one simple thing you can do to make your wedding speech awesome t.co/tOPIyfHEW… t.co/arBHIG5IS…

We were struggling to find a florist at Yulara, Ayers Rock, Uluru, that could put awesome … t.co/wLtvTb1fa… t.co/pRarRnQJK…

Caroline and Derek brought beer to their elopement 🍻 I know they have many other endearing… t.co/2ztk5IaVd… t.co/17Fi8cGVb…

John &amp; Emily #marriedbyjosh at my favourite Toowoomba venue, Gabbinbar :) t.co/6hEk97uZz… t.co/ZDpZUDI5U…

Epic elopements ‘r us 🗺 @elopementcollective 📷 @heartandcolour t.co/xwYmF934I… t.co/PuvYsbJpP…

“Twitter is my gift to mankind” - @biz explaining what Twitter is to David Letterman, via @newyorker radio hour t.co/4efYyoMrM…

🎼 Goin' to the chapel … and we’re gonna just go behind and to the left a bit… and we’r… t.co/6YtUjIsxX… t.co/XeMnhzJjy…

You know that saying about marrying the person that makes you feel the same way when you s… t.co/ZOG2ILDQN… t.co/uJxPssWZ5…

When you cross the line a winner 🥇Caitlin and Tim #marriedbyjosh 📷 by @paulbamford at @can… t.co/s3Pbovign… t.co/KUalFtbhD…

“It’s everyday that you stun me with your beauty, laughter, your fiery passion and just simply being you” - Mitch just loving Laura t.co/gA0cnx0S7…

I’ve started a new podcast for business people like me, those that want to be …. unpopular 😆 t.co/Ym0PLhDmj…

2017 Special: If you book this week with the promo code DANCE I’ll perform an interpretive… t.co/aEvw9kZkg… t.co/XqF078rHS…

Thread :( t.co/fgQibAWVH…

Can interest you in a late-model husband? He’s a really good deal, and if you buy today yo… t.co/wEdqedvkx… t.co/CAuOSiTiT…

The five people you want at your wedding to make it awesome! t.co/uAXICTEKZ…

Oh, hey! This guy wrote another article for @yahoo7be 🤘🏻

I’m consistently amazed hearing stories of people crossing the divide and falling in love.… t.co/KqQ1PePLz… t.co/bfltm8ib0…

Whoa! With 80713 miles flown I have reached new #JetLovers level 14: Glider t.co/IJ8CyyBLn… t.co/7jHnD2p7R…

I’m 19 hours into 2017 and still unsure what to be outraged at, help me out Twitter

“How quickly can we elope?” Answer: t.co/NomdSNIAQ…

Dune XXXV: A video game joke t.co/Sg1WFfsZP…

Who is @marriedbyjosh? I’m this bloke, and I perform awesome ceremonies 📷 @morganrobertswe… t.co/nifzk5vud… t.co/TE01xelTD…

2017 weddings by the numbers t.co/kQZihza3q… t.co/v9WaBZ7kv…

What’s the go with these ~365 day shaped blocks of time being responsible for outright celebrity murder?

Even the world’s richest and biggest computer company prints it’s photos - t.co/WDL9A3Z39…

Ben &amp; Laura are 💍 ringing in the new year with a new marriage 🤘🏼 t.co/Db7RcAc2O… t.co/iBbi59FtU…

Mawage. Mawage is wot bwings us togeder tooday. Mawage, that bwessed awangment, that dweam… t.co/mvY71R8vT… t.co/a7qN8NNmW…

If you’ve got an hour aside, @ThingCommittee with myself, @SteveMolk, @reblev, and @Wil_Anderson drunk casting t.co/2q6eFCmv1…

Listening back to a @thingcommittee podcast episode from 2013 … I feel like I was a million years younger but @SteveMolk still sounds old

Really good idea: 24/7 @Xero helpline. I just want to chat to someone.

“Thank you again so much for giving us the awesome wedding! It was fun, meaningful and very ‘us’” - Pearly &amp; Brantly #marriedbyjosh t.co/7j2bY2CHE…

I just visited t.co/kX6BVYiEf… for the first time in years, and @Stitcher already had me logged in as this bloke t.co/fsi3PoRrh…

Leonardo Caprio won an Oscar, then the rest of 2016 happened. Coincidence?

You are who you hang out with t.co/AtnE2nuK4…

If I ever hear the phrase “there’s still time to run” to a groom from a family member again I’ll probably snap.

👌🏼pod @zoenl @oshergunsberg episode - and here’s a nerdy #airpod #podsie Listen: t.co/Hzd4u74JY… t.co/spmN6qHH7…

“I promise to keep you warm every time winter rolls around, buy you Clarentine every sprin… t.co/wBfcBVQ2H… t.co/PdhELjXxw…

A list of ideas for what to do when you get to the end of the ceremony t.co/8KOZcU8Lq…

As I powered through Fran and James' hot and sweaty summer wedding ceremony today I was st… t.co/c0uj4yUhE… t.co/UYlWq0hFX…

As I powered through Fran and James' hot and sweaty summer wedding ceremony today I was staying cool by thinking ab… t.co/JVTpKChav…

I just ran into Simone @cakebombbrisbane at @thekitchensrobina - glad to know I’m hanging … t.co/dPq4Pcu1i… t.co/2gjvkCwj4…

D:\install.bat t.co/jVc4EtVqo…

When you’re doing your best to disregard people but you can’t t.co/RjE1OxAJ4…

Front page of t.co/RnDZc65tZ… global. Am I not pretty enough, yet? t.co/VXWgxIQxm…

Ayers Rock, or Uluru as the locals call it, was a place for the First Australians' ceremon… t.co/uXa2g55VS… t.co/cQSQVzesM…

A&amp;J eloped in secret, so here’s J’s florals by She’s A Wildflower instead of a photo of them 🌺🎉😁💯 t.co/zjRNfIIYg…

If you’re getting married in 2017, your wedding will be different to past weddings // an article by me for @yahoo7be t.co/SNRmP2fN2…

We’ve ditched bread and Britt’s making freakingly delish naked burgers: Lettuce feast! t.co/oijiJI1ef…

Sparking controversy on my Facebook page last night — I posted “Can bridal parties stop be… t.co/q9gsCe9Po… t.co/uRf9bkxga…

Not many people know that @balterbrewers beer is actually just sink water from the new @thecollectivepalmbeach - a … t.co/fJiaegF45…

So much 2016 hate online this week 👎🏻 and I don’t want to sound boastful but our 2016 has … t.co/kS8IXgkdO… t.co/elj1jXK0t…

Bridal parties=dead t.co/X2f4IrNrv…

In short, the secret to an awesome wedding is ditching the bridal party

As a professional wedding attender I can tell you that weddings without bridal parties &gt; weddings with bridal parties

Can bridal parties stop being a thing yet? t.co/wFA212LXj…

Cake 🎂 by the ocean 🌊 Adam + Lauren #marriedbyjosh, elopement by @elopementcollective 📷 ph… t.co/jc7MV1Tki… t.co/IOJEpyTHc…

Luke &amp; Emily! #marriedbyjosh t.co/GIaYndjzI…

If you go down to the woods today you’re sure of a big surprise.

If you go down to the wo… t.co/ztuquQJ2a… t.co/EIgCrEFqn…

“Love is better than no love, though it can hurt so much.” - Iris Murdoch

Britt and my 16 for 2016 - the year that was

t.co/J2gZRZg1B…

We’re thinking South Pacific out of Brisbane - but we honestly know nothing.

Hey travellers - Britt and I are thinking of going on a cruise for the first time in 2017 - where’s a good place to research cruises?

Headline to almost every news story this year t.co/QR0KvOFqW…

2017 goal: marriage ceremonies in Iceland, because we have to go back there, and New York … t.co/YJ2CHprZJ… t.co/WVQSsnevH…

Which celebrity would you invite to your wedding assuming our cats were busy?

Merry Christmas legends! t.co/NoEnSxHkx…

A little blog interview where I say controversial things to wedding DJs :) t.co/fA7YVixOl…

I love to haggle (I’m selling an iPhone) t.co/FPFaEeU5T… t.co/PRur9zq4p…

Me at the beginning of 2016 — me at the end of 2016. It’s actually been a pretty awesome y… t.co/ylYy5Dq1s… t.co/MdQWzx2ho…

“No one else will have the same wedding as us as you made it an original!” - Courtney &amp; Shaun t.co/ELxfkj2JF…

What would your wedding look like if you didn’t have any guests? Start planning from that point and make your guests fit around you ✌🏼

Man I’m blessed to have @hellobrittanyjane in my life - she bakes cookies for us 🎅🏼 t.co/jkSZEB72R…

The catch of the day 👰🏼🐟 Michael &amp; Jess eloped on a jetty south of Pemberton in Western Au… t.co/RT3Cgmx5M… t.co/vD8cvskYG…

Breaking news t.co/semQECUdi…

Questions you can ask yourself to help you write amazing wedding vows t.co/lGG7Z8Ss3…

Here’s to the crazy ones, crazy enough to cross that gaping divide and confess to someone that you’ve got a crush on them 🤘🏼 t.co/bLVaRIfjy…

On a Wednesday afternoon in December under a tree in a paddock at Byron Bay a Frenchman an… t.co/TSLge9kzx… t.co/7fOj78xTc…

😯 Behind the scenes video from @MargotRobbie’s wedding 🤘🏼 t.co/GrqAKe42M…

For a lobby group who’s fundamental principles are to love God and love people, it’s hard to believe this happened. t.co/J7nIKA19T…

The replies to this tweet irk me t.co/Jxq3KokLX…

Have legs, will walk for elopements (4km to this magical spot in Iceland) 📷 @HeartAndColou… t.co/JG0OwSzYl… t.co/hT3xpSrzr…

“I always thought I hated weddings, but I just hated how everyone else did it” Eric &amp; Rachel #marriedbyjosh t.co/WC41R8rBT…

Back on the radio on 774 Melbourne today talking weddings 🤘🏼 t.co/7D0BY1t51… t.co/xTY5fQySv…

I’ve been invited to join @nicolechvastek on @774Melbourne in a few minutes - tune in on DAB, 774 AM, or on t.co/o5jRZnN5I… :)

Can confirm t.co/xl1WR2gqe…

Facebook’s foray into podcasting/radio t.co/DcA2psNRY…

Represidented? t.co/itBEsOObr…

Margot Robbie served Coco Pops for dessert at her wedding and now Britt and my wedding is the second best wedding to have ever occurred 🍽👏🏻

Hey @Qantas - will this product work on QF flights? t.co/EdMOwEmdO…

A few of my thoughts on changing your last name in marriage t.co/RbfxvyvmK…

Britt and have started doing pot. Please respect our choices. t.co/yoLezIoC0…

Adrian + Elizabeth #marriedbyjosh with The Elopement Collective and Finch and Oak photography t.co/8BJ8WSucJ…

The Pic Felxible Cam gives me Go-Go-Gadget arms t.co/7nujL1K30…

Movie idea: The year is 2016, accounting software still sucks, but one company wants it to suck more: Xero Effect

Confidence is #clamxav (MacOS antivirus software) finding a “virus” in @stripe’s javascript on loading the Stripe dashboard

Asking for a friend.

I’m talking really fucking frustrated.

I wonder how many people have bought Office 365 after trying to do stuff in Apple Numbers and getting super frustrated.

Is it wrong of me to not support this because of design issues? t.co/GXN0bSCKA…

Racking my brain to think who inspired this t.co/UagUI76hn…

Promoted posts on @TwitterAU just got weird t.co/1jr5aYwwe…

Zuc when he sees your restaurant facebook posts t.co/w0KSmD0Zo…

It’s like a real life Youtube video.

Some genius is on the public piano at #thekitchens starting @Coldplay songs beautifully then descending into a toddler smashing on keys.

Feeling quite proud of that last tweet

Also, FU @NintendoAUNZ - why wouldn’t you support external/smart keyboards t.co/famOX12br…

Srsly FU @NintendoAUNZ t.co/P3UzU7uB2…

What’s the best wedding photo ever, like, in the history of the universe? I’d love to see it.

Changing Brisbane t.co/kQjfI2fy8…

Scene 1: dragons Scene 2: nazi symbol Scene 3: Michael@Bay’s name Scene 4: Transformer in a football stadium.

Bloody hell.

Ten points to Toyota for screening a ‘prequels suck’ ad before #StarWarsRogueOne

Just watched a few hundred people walk out with single certificates like the uneducated swine they are. Ma boy Ash … t.co/WwOAaqWQ6…

Ash feels super comfortable in fancy hats // Britt and I are super proud of you bro #griffthgrads t.co/C7yFFX7Cl…

Creative ways to finance your wedding - t.co/DE0ReWuzo…

Honestly - I just want freebies, please don’t enter this so I win :D … @todoist is giving away 3 Google Homes! t.co/6hj1taxHL…

Eloping in #Bali means I get to have lunch at @seacircus then walk across to the @thesamay… t.co/KqBiL96Ld… t.co/JnNdcPoSe…

And that’s that, @johnny // @ClubMacStories 🤣 t.co/l76pIxy5O…

“We are so thankful for you kind words &amp; wisdom during our ceremony” Russell + Brianna #marriedbyjosh 📷 We Are Twine t.co/3Xt1Lan8f…

Behold thy home t.co/oEZkH54TJ…

Behold thy roastee t.co/iqarGQ6HH…

Pro Tip: Investing money into your marriage saves you investing money into your divorce.

For those moments when your Philling down t.co/TH7tElbPG…

Idea: a viral video full of big name celebrities asking big name celebrities to stop making viral videos asking people to do stuff.

Me on the Today Show! t.co/RTixjy9Bp…

I’d probably be even cooler if I could type it

I feel like I’d be more popular if i understood crickey

Four years on and @eVent_cinemas still don’t support @Apple Wallet/Passbook t.co/5g6kkkxYb… @fly_digital t.co/jFFXcVb65…

I know I’ve done the best marriage ceremony I could have done when I fade into the backgro… t.co/BDBsFveaj… t.co/I6ldk2kKG…

Quite literally, his father. Ryan (and Meika) #marriedbyjosh 📷 Red Apple Photography 🏠 Glengariff Historic Estate t.co/El5QCdqIY…

Craig and Lisa gave me the remote control for the confetti cannon 🎉 I really like confetti cannon remote controls 📷 by Stewart Ross t.co/y0wXKIHAc…

A farewell burger with @r_o_b_e_y t.co/rEvGJCQHF…

Hello, it’s me, I was wondering if after all these years you’d like to meet 📷 @morganrober… t.co/5OVFscqAA… t.co/BT7dYwHEj…

#steviewithers loves photos t.co/sEQMc62Iz…

When you choose to exchange rings in your wedding ceremony 💍 I hope they mean more to you … t.co/IujIls5pR… t.co/GBeOWMRKd…

I’m interviewed on Nik Edser’s podcast - Wedding Secrets - consider this scandalous 🗣 t.co/Gw7dT6oLe…

I get a red face when I’ve had a beer, so this shoutout is in B&amp;W. Massive ups today to @e… t.co/FMlozh97Z… t.co/1bytrQ80c…

Today I’m an ‘occasional guy’ with the #ladieswholunch #bneweddinglunch t.co/qtmjE34xk… t.co/Z12zwicdb…

I tried to be hardcore with Siri t.co/SLpvficCD…

“Josh was the first thing I booked, I needed to make sure I had him” Jamie + Di #marriedbyjosh 📷 Life, Love &amp; Light t.co/vHfOqdqM3…

James and Alex bonded over the film, Wedding Crashers. It turns out they’re both Stage 5 C… t.co/HrowZdqrn… t.co/FIxGB6lOl…

Did you hear me on @RNLifeMatters this morning?! t.co/yH3K1ZQ6o…

9am in your timezone, I’m on @rnlifematters t.co/aSxFF6PUX…

Adam and Lauren made all their friends at home in #Perth jealous with their “winter” #elopement in #PortDouglas 🌴 #marriedbyjosh t.co/x7bjvHksM…

Monday morning 8am QLD/9am NSW/Vic I’m a guest on ABC Radio National’s Life Matters show! t.co/A8n0DxSUp… t.co/E5vRvE0lq…

Tomorrow morning: I’m a guest on Radio National’s Life Matters!

How many peeps in your bridal party? Are they all the same gender, either side?

And the fat lady sings t.co/h0iesCoxW…

Sack your iPod at the wedding and hire a real DJ   t.co/2EXxF6WqE…

Amy + #marriedbyjosh + Josh by @jamesdayweddings . . . . #sydneywedding #sydneycelebrant #… t.co/yC17s3DWk… t.co/MJ5sVblSZ…

Yeah, Twitter, get on social media you twits t.co/FtWM4atiD…

Grandma has a few words for Gordon and Kirsten. . . . . #greenweddingshoes #bohobride #fea… t.co/b7Y2wj09W… t.co/YLJuGJtDt…

Home is where the cats connect to your wifi network automatically

#steviewithers #aggiewithers #catsofinstagram t.co/sw5bUrUL5…

Believe it or not, wedding ceremonies can be fun t.co/Y15QdoNJx…

26,604 likes to 593 posts in 2016 on my marriage celebrant @instagram profile #2016bestnine t.co/j5pgGimr7… t.co/qZLlX0z6g…

5,890 likes to 331 posts in 2016 on my personal @instagram profile #2016bestnine t.co/Kv6CdZG4G… t.co/NatJ0QtxT…

First Saturday in Australia that I haven’t married someone in over a year, so it’s a day for chores t.co/UZPEny7iC…

On my blog today: “I’ve thought a lot about what to do with my photos. Where do I store th… t.co/DQHZ6IE1V… t.co/jukhasvEY…

$5 a month well spent t.co/bXr5wltYt…

Even the world’s richest and biggest computer company prints it’s photos t.co/YLjnc5pPG… t.co/qTRD7u3vn…

That moment when the celebrant asks everyone to be present in the ceremony, instead of a p… t.co/PHDtdyRqd… t.co/ZPXzh3aVg…

And now for a reading from the Book of Kanye t.co/3dWP4tFzx…

Good night, #GoldCoast t.co/H6iRZ3XBO…

Pro wedding tip: when taking a selfie with the newly married couple, take a few different … t.co/iW9olStJy… t.co/KKIMIqfdF…

Jade + Lewis #marriedbyjosh with The Elopement Collective and Michael Briggs Photography! t.co/si3A84qBq…

I’m standing in front of a real burning fire — that’s how I knew Andy and Chris were hot f… t.co/inPZch1l2… t.co/tNGYoaMx6…

What love language are you? Do the test here t.co/vwQz4PpUp…

Old age is seeing gadgets you once owned, loved, repaired, in “vintage” shops t.co/ewkInZdfN…

I’ve just been confirmed as a guest on @RNLifeMatters on Monday morning - tune in!

Wedding mistakes people probably didn’t even know they existed. I’m a problem creator. Thank me later. t.co/hOeqDmEPP…

6:33am // one workout and one radio segment on Canberra’s Hit 104.7 👌🏼 t.co/2Ze9KxZum…

When Brantley and Pearly found out my birthday they decided fed they wanted their wedding … t.co/GM5WzAh1z… t.co/wrcp3pcNc…

This article on @Yahoo7 had my name on the byline! t.co/Y8fyG1CiX…

Scott and Kirsten #marriedbyjosh t.co/cTnN0UWiV…

Me, imagining how I’d look on my 35th birthday, when I was a few months younger than 35 t.co/pjc22sJnA…

Celebrating my 35th lap around the sun tomorrow with a little luxury getaway at @mavises_k… t.co/Yg7z57iLv… t.co/4BFTvalZQ…

Amelia and Jared just wanted to get elope and get married, so they left their nuptials in … t.co/POlAOJpgM… t.co/pI4NXXEJS…

Photo project: I took a photo of our cats every day for one day

#aggiewithers #steviewithers t.co/BBb2XVcbX…

Kirsty &amp; Josh #marriedbyjosh! t.co/JFMaexn9B…

I’m forever blown away by the honourable position I have to speak into people’s lives 📷 @l… t.co/mlWN5ajCp… t.co/kuQPSJbOB…

Old age is not knowing a single 5SOS song t.co/H4Ie0Jghm…

“Josh made our ceremony a fun part of the day, rather than necessary” Layton &amp; Laura #marriedbyjosh 📷 James Day t.co/E5StvbDqe…

A list of things I won’t ever say in a wedding ceremony

You may now kiss the bride 😕 beca… t.co/XW2eQf9NJ… t.co/rFoForqIm…

It’s kind of adorable how bad these Rabbis are at the mannequin challenge t.co/KQ5qa7B6s…

If you ask me if I need a rehearsal for your wedding ceremony, I’ll tell you (like I told … t.co/LiVdCTBq0… t.co/QxpxNPxeU…

Of all the things you could ever bring to a wedding, the greatest would be your presence. … t.co/hedsEB6F7… t.co/b6eUxOEud…

Imma get me a surface … imma needin more hashtag inspo /s t.co/zoSXozTN3…

“The state of blogging, content marketing and online publishing in 2016” by @ow t.co/0mldGk8HB… t.co/gX8xIgCAB…

Double tap if you like this idea: a podcast following a couple’s journey from the proposal… t.co/8KdYcbbLn… t.co/cNNp0bOFH…

Why are you getting married where you are getting married?

Gold Coast 🌅 t.co/8FHrYNnxS…

2016 has seen me fly 236,150km over 90 flights, plus one ride in a helicopter.

That’s almost 6 laps around the ear… t.co/U7OQIHURQ…

Weddings aren’t complicated events - they’re two people that are super sure they don’t hat… t.co/HzjPqFytv… t.co/aQxBsAcSv…

Weddings, a celebration of “omfg they really love me!” Nana &amp; Nicj #marriedbyjosh at Nowra… t.co/mK1AfpXZM… t.co/up2NSnxQP…

“52 things I learned in 2016” by @TomWhitwell t.co/XMww53cgt… t.co/ORwWdSv3Q…

“52 things I learned in 2016” by @TomWhitwell t.co/qHJ6GHNZr… t.co/0ioEpNLTH…

I’ve known her for almost a decade; five years ago yesterday I finally told her I loved her. I still can’t believe… t.co/5ZM3tZoG7…

We can be heroes, just for one day (read the thread) t.co/QICbfd7nh…

One year ago at Jade and Liam’s wedding in an inner-city Melbourne bookstore, Alex, their … t.co/YCmmZ8Il8… t.co/o4o5YETRD…

How to create vows that wow (the most cliche thing I’ve said in a while) t.co/HL249oVgu…

When they met at age 12 the only thing they thought they’d get was cooties. Today they got… t.co/x1i64cLv4… t.co/11G660wfB…

Holly and Tom found me an awesome bow tie in Iceland! It’s a fish leather bow-tie FRW! t.co/s5TKoNyqs…

Gimmie a chip t.co/CQrtEoKvP…

and a Josh to ensure the whole gag is shared online.

Proving once more that God is real, he fills a Qantas flight with hungover schoolies, a choir of screaming babies,

Is that what kids say these days?

The two schoolies passed our next to me on this flight went hard

Trans and Ben eloped — as a result they ew through their day without a stress in the world… t.co/dZQZXPWxd… t.co/ADl7dCZtG…

Still can’t believe that Ralph &amp; Nina flew from the Phillipines to Sydney for #marriageamn… t.co/YWnR8Yiab… t.co/GVUhIBXKg…

Whenever people ask me about my favourite wedding, or the craziest wedding, or the best co… t.co/EbrgccJja… t.co/tBpk51VSd…

“It’s so refreshing to find a celebrant that doesn’t talk in hushed calming tones” Danielle + Lindsay #marriedbyjosh t.co/nce8z7Ddj…

Sarah + Wez + a handful of their most important people + me, beneath the trees in Currumbi… t.co/hgPL4psVz… t.co/23xV1gd5F…

I hate it when my phone shames me for having a day off at home, the Apple Store, the post office and the coffee shop t.co/6EXLSRf3E…

“You’re born alone, and you die alone. The value of the space in between is trust and love.” - Louise Bourgeois

One month ago Tom, Holly, and I created their marriage on a hill in Iceland – tonight they… t.co/yEwFs83xC… t.co/MEhoaZoa7…

Marriage Amnesty day 2016 in photos - t.co/NUh1b2F7e…

rearranging deck chairs on the titanic t.co/Z2pTcaX4S…

Get your photos printed. They hold so much more power off Instagram, Facebook, or your pho… t.co/xclIfWOwE… t.co/diPLmLYvt…

Loveblind t.co/AJDLkWOam…

Adrian &amp; Katie 🎤 #marriedbyjosh 🎉 The Elopement Collective 📷 Finch &amp; Oak 🏠 Summergrove Estate t.co/d0LSyIuFB…

I like the planes t.co/oosYkDhlm…

Call me, Comrade t.co/DgNZzCta8…

So good to hear that the House of Representatives is finally meeting some of the people it represents. #qt

Took a new photo to put my inspirational or spiritual quotes on yesterday at Anna Bay t.co/xkAj1Rm8Y…

So very very good t.co/n0mVaw2zr…

The $5 per month for @SteveMolk’s @molkstvtalk email is worth it just for the “Molk Facts” t.co/UTfTwPgJH…

For @decryption’s headstone t.co/VMIzYDduT…

A rare photo of renowned political commentator, @morgancroberts, smiling and not typing into the comment box t.co/zeZLsSD0j…

The @whitemagazine team! (Plus a little @morganrobertsweddings) t.co/my6WoZ7EX… t.co/APyjJogLX…

Jack and Xanthe #marriedbyjosh! t.co/6FGy3Vnq7…

Fifteen times, fifteen heartbreaking times over three years, Ebony said no to Jake’s “will… t.co/RFGPZGIPC… t.co/Tqe167LB5…

Sharli and I went for a walk on the beach yesterday - we’re pretty good mates t.co/UEq6IM4AR…

#steviewithers t.co/lzi1moQkt…

#aggiewithers t.co/Q5d9VQomh…

Because I’m Happy! Ricky &amp; Amy rockin the aisle with Pharrell #marriedbyjosh 📷Ethereal Photography 🏠Flaxton Gardens t.co/C2fMkrdrz…

Your marriage ceremony, a purpose-filled moment where we gaze into the unknown and confess… t.co/kwzzMxggd… t.co/5uVk6XN52…

Burleigh // 5:29pm t.co/kUvFeXzQr…

Britt &amp; I are having some downtime with our friends @heartandcolour this afternoon and Phi… t.co/ZBgF6w1fF… t.co/5NN8EZ8Ep…

Natasha 👰🏼 + Michael 👔 + #marriedbyjosh 🐒 + @elopementcollective 🎉+ Hawaii!! 🌊 + @reeseand… t.co/gq7YJy7D1… t.co/U6IBe6JtR…

USA December 2017 // for a month at the end of next year Britt and I are stateside for elo… t.co/zhRw12nC7… t.co/EBl16CPwy…

Always the celebrant, never the bridesmaid 📷 @jimmy_izophotography t.co/tVLJTnyfY… t.co/RAona7t1i…

What’s the one thing you’ve hired or bought for your wedding that is non-negotiable?

Reflecting on the awe inspiring year Britt and I have had - we’ve created marriages in fiv… t.co/1hg6VgJiv… t.co/hdbyz0XLP…

I’m putting money on the iPod Shuffle next t.co/RWPF5c0Tf…

Fun game: go into an Apple Store and try and guess which product line they’ll cancel next!

86th flight of the year. Seriously, arms: tired.

Gavin &amp; Natasha #marriedbyjosh t.co/C3T0qNiRg…

Today on the NSW Central Coast I met Australia’s next great personality, Joey. Joey prepar… t.co/qgeJqPsgH… t.co/E6D4S2Q2H…

I can’t believe Fidel Castro died! His music really spoke to me at a dark time of my life #RIPFidelCastro

“I vow that you will never have to walk a day on this earth feeling alone, and this includ… t.co/wmdrxWYxP… t.co/x3TU2Cy1J…

Aideen and Krysztof exchanged vows on a Friday afternoon in a park on Sydney Harbour - the… t.co/yXd85irdS… t.co/ssPFBayyp…

“Josh encapsulated our philosophy to a T, we could tell that he really paid attention” Jess &amp; Ben #marriedbyjosh t.co/TYlvn9f2l…

More laughter, less every single other thing ever. [Gavin + Robyn #marriedbyjosh photographed by Aaron Shum] t.co/0F5noW6Zf…

How [I think] driverless cars will positively impact marriages t.co/axCJQfSj5…

Thanks for having us for the #melbournepopupwedding, @gatherandtailor! t.co/c4RXZ8HQi… t.co/R4RvI6cp5…

James and Rebecca told me they wanted me to give it to them straight. Little did they know… t.co/XcvroxY24… t.co/3hun2qH42…

Dylan and Sam dropped in to our Melbourne pop up wedding before grabbing a few drinks at S… t.co/j7CqfnlIb… t.co/IzGlKSikM…

I’ve never heard of a couple meeting on @tumblr - but that’s how Jess found out that Jarro… t.co/6f8SS07Ik… t.co/rekeaDt5K…

Kimberley: I pinky promise to pursue our dreams for the next 100 years at least, or if the… t.co/y94j1YKSh… t.co/yeq8NKqSS…

Belinda and Jon, a coupl’a country kids #marriedbyjosh at the Melbourne pop-up wedding 👌🏼 t.co/TvmyipzUu… t.co/0ZmhKIFbg…

Stephanie &amp; Jarrod just got #marriedbyjosh! t.co/drg0bEFqy… t.co/LHC8ICbX0…

We were all in our cars in the national park car park, dry, and I asked Paul and Chelsea i… t.co/FqC0wlsHj… t.co/CYft61eB7…

Weddings are for happiness 🎉Vikram and Jemma #marriedbyjosh t.co/v31QR4rA4…

Rollin down the street, smokin indo, sippin on gin and juice @ @biggiesmallskbabs t.co/WhLFCSCKK…

… that staff should not smoke marijuana behind the bar, they should go out the back #somelbourne

There’s a staff meeting at the pub in at in Fitzroy and one of the ‘staff issues’ the manager brought up was …

It’s hilarious. She’s going through the whole podcast recording process step by step.

How very adorable. How very Melbourne.

Mother at the table next to me is explaining to the other mother that her son has started a podcast.

  • reconciling our business bank account in @Xero against @stripe credit card payments.

I feel like no-one else on the planet is talking about the issues dear to my heart -

The Failing @NYTimes sounds like a new @netflix series

The symbol on the doors is the name of the bar, the Chinese symbol marriage: Double Happiness. It’s also where Ady … t.co/p5DZ1ueaw…

Rachel and Eric!!! t.co/rUVcHnPQH…

Double happiness at Chris &amp; Ady’s elopement in Melbourne with the @elopementcollective of … t.co/XPMoMzMmO… t.co/2DIdS7B24…

They spell Parmy wrong in Melbourne t.co/bpCKxpzqf…

24K magic in the air … in Alan &amp; Kellie’s backyard for their dress up wedding. They even… t.co/oGnlDq9ND… t.co/E4PjOL8oT…

Jony Ive’s ChristmasTree t.co/SEuj0moqb…

Worried about @Apple dropping Airports? It’s ok - here’s the future - our wifi routers talking to each other t.co/urkczBCon…

How do we even know if it’s breaking news if we don’t put the words breaking news in all caps?

I like the planes t.co/c2xrxGc13…

Now that I’m blue tick verified I just spend my nights in hotel rooms alone thinking of other verified people to tweet

Felicity + Mark eloped! #marriedbyjosh 🏞 Wendy’s Secret Garden 📷 Emma Hampton 🎉 The Elopement Collective t.co/nuUN2TamW…

Ben and Tarna #marriedbyjosh in Perth’s Swan Valley about a month ago. They are elite memb… t.co/YD3pJ2NSt… t.co/H4aIZ9bUa…

Are you even married if there wasn’t a #marriedbyjosh selfie? We’ll never know I guess.

P… t.co/wezWVZylw… t.co/KaLBycKNh…

I hate boycotts, they’re often misaligned and misguided, but …

Trump’s going to build a fourth wall in Hamilton, the musical.

If a couple have asked me to make their ceremony an unplugged ceremony, how many times should I ask “that person” to put the phone down?

8675309

“There are plenty of adventures to be had, celebrated be sharing a life together exploring… t.co/6VVj7Y0xF… t.co/zbiuNbMKK…

A man and his four bags are coming home t.co/xlw7ueTko…

Here’s some thoughts to help you grapple with it and keep your guest list at a place you can manage.

t.co/SpMAhbGiV…

The struggle is real: “why can’t I invite all of Facebook to my wedding” is a thing.

Making a small and meaningful wedding guest list: t.co/Ttuhy5NRE… via @YouTube

My purpose, my job, my thing, is to shine a light on – turn the volume up of – bring to e… t.co/8vgI1oYGm… t.co/4fH0rnb9I…

Vas and Felicia #marriedbyjosh with The Elopement Collective t.co/PIhcQluQk…

We took over Balmoral and made a marriage!

Hugo &amp; Vanessa #marriedbyjosh! t.co/KvzbWqhtE… t.co/ySsMFa7aR…

“You made it more of a celebration than a formal event” - Kirsten &amp; Scott #marriedbyjosh 📷 Heart &amp; Colour t.co/8ugaY0H2z…

A wedding is but one day - a marriage is for life - so have an awesome wedding, but make your marriage better than your wedding

Pro life tip: Banana Prawns are nothing like bananas.

Also a fantastic way to see what I do

5 minutes: Everyone needs to watch Carley &amp; Trent’s elopement video. Seriously, everyone

👌🏻by @LemonTreeFilm 🍋🌲📽🏡

t.co/wUE9PZyZ2…

A notice of your intended same-sex marriage … a form that means nothing and everything at the same time t.co/cKjqe3Lje…

Robina’s Christmas pelicans t.co/VcE0HCBbM…

Happy birthday to the 2016 Withers/Roggs luge competition bronze medallist (according to this photo), @bekgrace 🏅🎉 t.co/2QO5LYFAo…

Selfie: the photo that looks awesome even if it’s terrible! 📷 Just For Love Photography 🍔 Chur Burger t.co/67D4kkUqh…

Derek said “I promise to continue to add little Canadianisms into your vocabulary so your … t.co/5sOkoFhWM… t.co/EnRkFHTHk…

Married at #marriageamnesty day? Your photos are live on my blog now! t.co/Ffrp0FSLn… t.co/thVDnfGKR…

Super moon? Get back to me when you make a weird crossover movie with Bat moon, Super moon #pfft

Just a late night thought from a Sydney airport hotel room ✌🏻️

If couples began their marriage together, planned their wedding together, maybe their marriage would be stronger.

The simple inclusive act of acknowledging that your customer is two people instead of one could actually change the world

I think the most powerful thing the #weddingindustry could change is instead of calling its customers brides, call them couples

Rikka and Michael #marriedbyjosh and featured on the White Magazine blog! t.co/S0OR1vLk1…

One of Marcus &amp; Robyn’s favourite places is right in the middle of Sydney, five minutes fr… t.co/cJSzEMyMU… t.co/2502LyPUT…

One of Marcus &amp; Robyn’s favourite places is right in the middle of Sydney, five minutes from their house. We said t… t.co/tNUn14nLR…

I think my old antivirus just asked me to marry it t.co/cu1wkajnA…

Source: Barista thinks I’m a douchebag.

Paying for coffee with Apple Pay on your Apple Watch is a genuine way of making sure the barista knows you’re a douchebag.

In Australia I’m paying $117 AUD ($90USD) for pretty good health insurance - single person coverage t.co/tBT1qb9QT…

Has America united it’s states yet?

“We have been together for 9 years and engaged for almost 2. We’ve focused on getting ahea… t.co/cpqe7OzmW… t.co/NLyAFAazW…

Simone and Evan had riverside delight #marriedbyjosh t.co/wsmg0SyNz…

This whole thread t.co/WEET5LczI…

Do we need to put the internet away for a while? t.co/dFdmhEGGS…

Love an early flight delayed so I’m not as rushed … but next time @Qantas, let a brother know the night before so I can change the alarm?

What songs have you asked your DJ not to play?

Lunched with the mayor of Rockhampton, or was it the Mayer? t.co/S8eyWqEUW…

Happy birthday to Townsville’s most creative and fun wedding photographer, Skye from @sbcr… t.co/yYuDpOM9B… t.co/vtKYTOqr9…

Sidewalk wisdom t.co/2TZklJoXe…

Why marry? (or, what are the legal ties of marriage?) - t.co/A3jcg1WlI…

I met Michaela and James in New York City last year, and today we pushed through the Brisb… t.co/HjAZy70kE… t.co/cfzRQK56m…

Blow drying my hair with a men’s bathroom hand dryer, because I’m pro like that

I asked Jamie and Dione why they asked me to be their celebrant: “We met Josh 2 years befo… t.co/9ImgmnBqt… t.co/3Y85CSOz4…

“We’ve come so far, from high-school teenagers to somehow becoming semi-adults with fancy-… t.co/AZ8almCyr… t.co/r5o1Y9gSm…

Most celebrants use the big old traditional hand-written marriage register to record your … t.co/vxeJDOpKv… t.co/q0TVHJsV9…

We’ve travelled the world this year, and it’s been awesome, but it was so nice to wake up at home on the Gold Coast… t.co/4xGPg2VR5…

Tammy and Will sat down and looked at all the options, weddings, Elopements, going to the … t.co/ccEXhkYw1… t.co/qqAx52Sa2…

The Internet has killed the “no vacancy” sign t.co/whY956Sx6…

Kirsten and Scott got casual at Casuarina t.co/I4v4mnTsa…

It’s amazing what a bunch of flowers does for your relationship. Seriously, this is like some kind of weird secret no-one ever told me.

One of Qld’s greatest exports in recent years has been Fruit Ninja and Jetpack Joyride. What a disappointing fall. t.co/zBtK5pFow…

Do you ever find yourself attending a wedding and you don’t know what to do or how to act?… t.co/6hO9psEpR… t.co/kF64e9r95…

What is it like to hire Josh Withers? t.co/wZ99bOEwQ…

Joel &amp; Liezl partied at Sirromet winery! t.co/VhfjiNgC3…

Everyone’s confused about the US election results — but this is a country where wanting less people to die is a controversial opinion.

“Dick waving” t.co/ZfkwM1kvu…

Everyone passionate about #ElectionNight right now: “If only I had of shared more blog posts online!” #Elections2016

First time back in front of macOS after three weeks on iOS only.

Yup … I’ll buy a new MacBook.

So, the iguana is the earth’s future, and the snakes are US politicians, right?

I’m not sure why, it just sounds like an awesome idea.

I propose that for the 2020 election Australia sends a special envoy of democracy sausage sizzles to American polling booths.

Instead of posting on social about an election we can’t vote in &amp; in a country we don’t live in, let’s actually make America great again

I’m getting in four years early - let’s do this Australia t.co/15GzAsp11…

My chariot awaits t.co/sdq460CXo…

Through the whole clip all I can think is “where are the camera operators?!” Did they make it out alive??!! t.co/NKemaCTvu…

We didn’t choose the Nutella Crêpe life — the Nutella Crêpe life chose us. t.co/z1jVu6xSj…

Woah, the teasers for the final season of USA looks good. Can’t believe it starts this week!

“I love you” in every language t.co/SXp73ISOj… t.co/GB8p65fpt…

Lines, lanes, and babe t.co/HVkbBGdFN…

Je suis touriste t.co/UNwAgOSuB…

The closest thing I have is this photo from a Berlin shop window ¯_(ツ)_/¯ t.co/ccAUkGag6…

So last night I dreamt that I showed @siracusa my non-existent vintage Mac collection.

Now I’m self-employed the most consistent people in my life are podcasters.

When I worked for corporates I used to have very real dreams about work meetings and doing regular boring stuff with co-workers.

Figured I’d only ever use the points for headphones anyway ¯_(ツ)_/¯

Living dangerously: just cancelled our economy seats home from Europe and booked business class seats on points.

Sega is releasing a new Daytona USA. I’m feeling numb … and broke from pre-ordering an arcade machine. t.co/4qF1BpuTF…

Au**ies in Paris t.co/LCPbMkiQz…

Brexit’s relationship status just changed to ‘It’s complicated’

Feeling a bit conflicted tonight as Britt and I come into our last week of our European ge… t.co/liLHunQ6a… t.co/Iz7U8XSJz…

A week of rest, regeneration, and exploration with my favourite human in the most inspiring city in the world t.co/n5GqUvgNk…

Believe in miracles, Tweeples. We made our 14 minute transfer in Copenhagen! t.co/37aHyBngO…

And with any luck our connecting @SAS ✈️ to Paris will be delayed. We’ve got 16 minutes to connect 😳

Bye bye Iceland! ✈️Copenhagen!

Flights: $7600 Apartment: $1600 Damaging the oil pan on a rock getting to Háifoss: IKR50000 Travel insurance: $675 p/yr

Iceland: priceless. t.co/RU4Cf7aXD…

If the glove fits … t.co/LLsgVFeII…

T&amp;H eloped with us in secret in Iceland today day!!! t.co/luA6mq5Mj… t.co/0beyyk5qT…

Working in Iceland with this babe t.co/wb2mWqBvU…

The sun came out and the temperature dropped so our S&amp;C could elope in secret today!

We e… t.co/kTZv23Mke… t.co/9ZYnv7ZMk…

16,058 kilometres from home, celebrating a marriage creation in #Iceland today. Humbled to be here.

Iceland is blowing my mind around every corner t.co/kfgbSHRMD…

Iceland through an 📱… it seems @paulmp.photo gets far better weather than us when he visits :/ t.co/7aoh19Le5…

Seriously, everything is spectacular in #Iceland t.co/895pOOeJx…

Everything in #Iceland is spectacular. t.co/Z8oiBQsHm…

Freakin Blue Tick! t.co/GSjw1QqD0…

Too many people think that a “traditional marriage ceremony” involves the groom waiting at… t.co/K3pxWgbdU… t.co/Yh5N01FJZ…

Greetings from Iceland 🤘🏼In town for two Elopements this week with the @elopementcollectiv… t.co/NKElluEr4… t.co/YAcmYpVtT…

Fall // photo by our travel buddy @philrogg t.co/EeR4bEAbJ…

The air keeps the beers cold t.co/AUmdtmc3K…

We’re in frikkin Iceland! t.co/Hby2XDdf5…

We’re leaving Berlin today!

Berlin ✈️ Copenhagen ✈️ Reykjavik! t.co/hWdz4c8VI…

I’m no wiser after the #appleevent

I was holding out for today’s announcements to figure out if I should stick with the iPad for mobile computing + iMac or MacBook in office

Terror, thy name is: wall.

The true act of terror is to build a wall, physically or ideologically, to pronounce “u… t.co/jQYDyYiRg…

Totes good idea t.co/Tx4VWQ97x…

Cruisy McCruiseface. Like, in case no-one else had said anything. t.co/JUMyVl18j…

Sometimes, mid-ceremony, I’ll forget how many fingers I have so I’ll stop everything and r… t.co/9DmzzmkKW… t.co/09krJbPig…

Winter Withers t.co/Fp8TKePTG…

Photographering / explorering 🇩🇪 t.co/cNZ4a1APE…

Apple delays AirPods launch - @verge t.co/7fiZoebnS…

Berlin’s architecture is entrancing t.co/ejUe5ako4…

I had to type it a few times because I had no idea what I was doing, nor was I a great typist.

26 years on I’ll ju… t.co/5kYlpDASl…

One of the first computer games I played, I read the code in a magazine from the school library and I typed it into… t.co/nrAo4lNOQ…

Hey Twitter - any must-see’s in #Berlin? Particularly on the nerdy/geeky side, I’m aware of the war stuff

There’s been lots of German oddities this trip, but by far the weirdest Berlin thing so far is black toilet paper t.co/klXoR2uG7…

Til Death Do You Gogglebox: a married couple is locked inside a house with one remote control and one loaded gun, plus two Ch7 cameras t.co/S1llZTJzo…

7 Year Stitch: you get literally sewn together with your partner who you hate t.co/S1llZTJzo…

Mawage - you get married to someone you don’t want to marry and Channel 7 is there to capture it t.co/S1llZTJzo…

Meowied At First Sight: Australia’s first reality TV show about grabbing women by th… t.co/S1llZTJzo…

East #ampelmännchen t.co/nGhtABfZn…

Europe with this babe — genius! t.co/6JPFCJZVb…

Coffee chain named after one of the smartest men to live — genius t.co/hM0JvPtWX…

I look forward to visiting Berlin again when it’s finished. The whole city seems to be under construction.

So glad our feet could meet t.co/0wlGhkNXH…

Two years ago today @hellobrittanyjane left her visual merchandising job with Mecca Maxima… t.co/l5bGgRwCP… t.co/QGI2SVaFW…

A replica of an American checkpoint from a time that Berlin still seems to struggle with.

The city doesn’t know ho… t.co/gtcW1GsNX…

Hello, Berlin

I suppose the lesson here is, never ever travel, ever? Or am I missing the lesson?

I remember looking at my Düsseldorf triangle of “there’s totes going to be a fuckup here” but I trusted @Qantas/@emirates/@airberlin 😐

It’s quite healing to tweet the social media departments of corporations with incompetent systems and procedures. You guys should try it.

Maybe it’s not $5 a day, but a @Telstra travelling option that’s less that a life sentence in billing jail?

Hey @Telstra, don’t be afraid of doing something non-terrible, product wise, for your travelling clients.

Add into that my stupidity of thinking “I’ll just go offline for three weeks, don’t organise a travel SIM”, cue second Qantas call 😐

Quietly losing it in Düsseldorf airport in the middle of the perfect blame storm: @Qantas ticket, @emirates delay, @airberlin connection.

Sure, I could be super upset that Emirates missed my connecting flight to Berlin at Düsseldorf, but this sign remin… t.co/cgGMCP4pV…

Aussie rich kids eat smashed avo. Arab rich kids grow trees in the desert. t.co/VuUDHLRIw…

Cash bars at weddings are more and more popular - are you having one?

Stop 1 // Singapore // I think the captain just wanted to get a good coffee t.co/zc3DHEzHE…

Stop 1 // Singapore // I think the captain just wanted to get a good coffee t.co/9gXzxBOek… t.co/qAtXPxJ4f…

Our office is closed for the next three weeks as we take the @elopementcollective to Icela… t.co/Fmlst6yJj… t.co/ijDwUYAAY…

Our office is closed for the next three weeks as we take the @elopementcollective to Icela… t.co/QaBJeZ3ri… t.co/Wl6leaDCl…

Our office is closed for the next three weeks as we take the @elopementcollective to Icela… t.co/gzydxpIpn… t.co/hs2J35OdZ…

Thesh annoys Hayley on purpose, Hayley just married Thesh. Love is crazy like that 😁

Hayl… t.co/PcUycWMnv… t.co/NNwoJkIrF…

What’s left over - t.co/UlVJfP3LH…

&lt;/work&gt; &lt;holiday&gt;

I love this time of the year, the “War on Christmas” time of year that is. It’s October 22, is that too early for a… t.co/HPBvDZRT1…

The Pullman bunny. He brings you wine eggs in October. t.co/HxF9S0cBJ…

The photographer becomes the photographer t.co/jNO3PBzzX… t.co/veMRzehcE…

Two regular people, one’s a builder, one’s a nurse. They met at the cinemas, got engaged i… t.co/7WkYNReqd… t.co/6qAiEarPK…

“You’re so open about what you stand for, &amp; they come across in your wonderful ceremonies.” - Simone and Evan #marriedbyjosh 📷 Tara Croser t.co/IHdPLjInY…

Kayla met Amy at the cinemas in Wollongong and they started a conversation the day after t… t.co/ntYYLeSjA… t.co/1JyYIR50D…

How are people not protesting on the streets about Apple withholding the Airpods.

You’ve changed, mannnnn.

With the power given to me by Facebook, I pronounce you your partner’s cheerleader.

In case you were wondering why there’s smoke all over #Sydney t.co/67d0g6kT8…

The gift that keeps giving… - t.co/tmCvYkrhV…

Brendan + Angela + Josh = married! t.co/eIqOnNoK5… t.co/2isCec2Fr…

Scott &amp; Autumn made a marriage! t.co/MsBu0v80f… t.co/luuHL6ryJ…

Well, that’s a nice notification to get seconds before a marriage ceremony #marriageequality t.co/SOzooNeVn…

Adrian &amp; Dom got #marriedbyjosh! t.co/fjemkX3BU… t.co/DkTWZLjrE…

I honestly thought we all agreed on making weird faces. Thanks for letting me down, Gary &amp;… t.co/IC6urjBTL… t.co/NQCtTljTn…

Stephen &amp; Millie!!! t.co/GroTJW8Ui… t.co/z3xRL3MX1…

Daniel &amp; Trisha #marriedbyjosh at the #sunshinecoastpopupwedding at @spicersclovellyestate t.co/XOcFHhLlV… t.co/mB5qTqYnT…

I’ve always had a hard time getting my head through the #cedarcreekestate chapel door 📷 @s… t.co/Vw5fXxS38… t.co/llpDuAaEF…

“Josh kicked off our special day by conducting the ceremony exactly as we described to him” - Joel + Liezl 📷 Hannah Blackmore Photography t.co/IqfCDvoOQ…

My Adele moment // I set fire … to the rain … in an elopement

Paul &amp; Chelsea #married… t.co/IbbmqbCxj… t.co/mSfWG7IyF…

My thoughts on Roll Call on @ProductHunt t.co/z4eJ9HVOW… t.co/xmX2kqW43…

I’m an ABIA accredited celebrant t.co/OAvB5e3sg…

These two just promised to love each other forever. They did it in secret, with no guests,… t.co/AX9SNHN7q… t.co/2ysgmdsZJ…

On Tuesdays we go to Coffs Harbour t.co/dLq7nipOc…

Quick, to the batcave #probably #steviewithers #catsofinstagram t.co/ocwCPNKpY…

And that neediness is only beat by this t.co/qp83TnGXZ…

At this rate I feel like I’ve fallen down the rabbit hole of using an iPad as my main computer t.co/O8Cw4hbgB…

Someone’s excited! 📷 Love Is a Place Photography ⛰ Midginbill Hill t.co/U8tftgu8n…

I met Ziah 🐻! t.co/jIbpyhFy7…

A thank you gift from a couple that obviously know Britt and I way toooooo well! Let’s go back to Portland, ok 😁🍸🍬🍔 t.co/YKSvqrBRI…

When Britt’s away, I take other girls out for coffee and walks on the beach t.co/qyo9fyn3c…

I want dat won t.co/s36Ljjgfv…

Nick’s wedding vows for his Nana t.co/RC0LLIpUy…

I’m looking for date-night ideas? Care to share?

Damian and Sofia skipped the wedding and the boring the registry office to get married in … t.co/o9GLmIfAW… t.co/FwrZgHID2…

An issue with “Say ‘I do’ Down Under” - t.co/xMal74Znp…

The very definition of a bridechilla // Ellie and Daniel had the cruisiest affair at @high… t.co/UFFiKTL3W… t.co/uZeK00azX…

Finally the iPad gets an amazing calendar app - it’s also my favourite iPhone calendar app - Timepage by Moleskine t.co/3iyOHQjCq… t.co/zxtnOVF7u…

I can learn to love any AI that reminds me to wake Green Day up at the end of September t.co/HsOEWHkUH…

So it turns out that @rowland_au know me pretty well — crazy socks + 🍫= 😇 t.co/JWRthHXeK…

“What’s the use of falling in love if you both remain as inertly as-you-were?” - Mary McCarthy

A true leader t.co/x2jG45Udl…

Andrew + Natalie #marriedbyjosh 📷 Finch &amp; Oak ⛳ Summergrove Estate 🎉 The Elopement Collective t.co/WrrKjYnX3…

Meet, @j.ffs t.co/eNYFR2qV9…

Meet, @jimmy_izophotography t.co/6tDCiVeXU…

Perth’s best #celebrant is a few centimetres shorter than me t.co/vB51pACc6…

Cockadoodledo t.co/ueRCFgbmB…

These two were disgustingly in love and made us all vomit and cry and laugh and everything… t.co/eiF2qfPz5… t.co/2KAiUU2un…

The second best thing about being a creative in the wedding industry is that every day you’re working in a super fo… t.co/M8PqQwiGC…

Dale and Danielle #marriedbyjosh! t.co/jpH4CZEMH… t.co/LAGUpDMDM…

Where there’s a will there’s a pun about getting a will - t.co/BrbDVFYrD…

Cheesy wedding photos ‘r me t.co/DAzicXj9e…

That’s a big “cloud” (east of Busselton) t.co/YSDJMVJPI…

A quick trip into the very south west of the Western Australia Southwest today to create a… t.co/XtkWyNI5q… t.co/7yMsDNxR7…

Long day on the road in the very south west of Western Australia today t.co/sZTkCrOoo…

I’ve (embarrassingly) never tried to purchase The Wire, so thanks iTunes t.co/NLjLql05y…

ANZ Bank interviewed me for their Small Business blog t.co/C1clic0Ju…

“Josh’s ability as a speaker is only surpassed by his ability as humorist” Melissa &amp; Chris #marriedbyjosh 📷 KCL t.co/60gPqPvlH…

You don’t get to meet B&amp;T yet, no-one knows they just eloped with us in the Swan Valley ou… t.co/hhkMbQZWP… t.co/nD6G6f7hy…

The first time an iPhone has done justice to kangaroos #iPhone7Plus #ThisIsAustralia #WesternAustralia t.co/Yf2KJRaCp…

Perth: ok t.co/iFECdTQN7…

This is a caption t.co/LcqES64w6…

Hey Perth t.co/VM3WvpeHx…

Andrew + Rebecca #marriedbyjosh 🍃 The Elopement Collective ⛰ Byron View Farm 📷 Morgan Roberts 🌺 Pack a Perfect Party t.co/IaCkdD4Sr…

The moment where you realise you’re something to someone. That’s a massive gap to cross. O… t.co/MsxZSyMAk… t.co/XXDP40ZzR…

After a five hour delay because of weather, we’re doing this thang! SYD✈️PER t.co/g2JJgZfnI…

iPhone 7 portrait mode: not supported on Apple Watch t.co/KoV6oSuRU…

Entering the fourth hour of delays at #SYD … I think I’m about to set up camp in a corner of the @Qantas business lounge

MY WAY!

So many flights delayed, so many flights delayed, so many flights delayed, you are the one thing in my way, you are the one thing in my way

“We decided to be apart of #marriageamnestyday because we just wanted to be married. The n… t.co/gGSgqxvay… t.co/wLCAC8gQ7…

Shout out to everyone sitting at airports on Twitter today because your flight’s been delayed #peaceout #sydneyterminal3represent

Step 1: get married in Brisbane with your two best mates as your witnesses. Step 2: go on … t.co/r6g3BOjyi… t.co/kXjsTfRiM…

Where would you elope to, if you could?

When it’s ok to send me that email t.co/NZP3elJjE…

I’m Facebook living about radio #averyoutsidebroadcast #acras #acras2016 t.co/EVsLGcEJP…

It’s amazing that a swipe right on #Tinder can end you up in your old school hall getting … t.co/j6GSLiYar… t.co/bL8puorMP…

Well, this invalidates anything I’ve ever done with my life as a celebrant/officiant 📷 @holmanphoto via @offbeatbride t.co/oT5ThgihL…

Perfect logic t.co/iPM6sc5Rn…

“I cannot recommend Josh enough! We invited him to our elopement in America and he journey… t.co/lYo52fyiJ… t.co/QSktpnLAG…

Tomorrow night #ACRAs #ACRAs2016 #veryoutsidebroadcast t.co/hMIJ1Y9cx…

Matthew &amp; Ashley #marriedbyjosh with the @elopementcollective and @morganrobertsweddings! t.co/y2ywfOvig… t.co/dyrp6gxX5…

Physical affection is an easy way to feel closer to your spouse [Photo by Paul Bamford of Finch and Oak Photography] t.co/7KSL25LBr…

Consider this a tease.

Wish you were at the #acras tomorrow night? Don’t worry - the next best thing will be on fB Live tomorrow at the same time #acras2016

I discovered Claire via @producthunt - She makes booking flights fast and intuitive. You can test her here: t.co/LjJS6uLIU…

There’s a Josh Withers in the UK who doesn’t know his email address. But I get his credit reports quarterly. t.co/X0LMqagxo…

“You were a ray of sunshine on a very rainy, stormy day!” Gavin + Natasha 🎉 #marriedbyjosh 📷 Aaron Shum 🏖 Noosa t.co/NRYM1PwZC…

Courtney and Rob’s wedding vows …. in high definition 📽 t.co/J0LVuwSl0…

In one breath government departments are crying poor, in the next they’re blowing $100k on national Snapchat filters t.co/tAap85a5V…

Goodnight, Brisbane t.co/YSm2iQVpo…

Just checked out Saturday’s ceremony venue … I feel someone ought to know I’m not a mini… t.co/vLWCm13y8… t.co/GdJ2eaTGD…

Ian and Irene #marriedbyjosh t.co/IrH2IliRJ…

Listening to @Beats1 makes me want to work in radio again. Maybe I could convince a radio station to take me on as " radio host at large" 😏

Three years ago @hellobrittanyjane and I invented #popupweddings right here in Australia. … t.co/qZG9e1B3o… t.co/lwVYi1WnK…

I asked Kirsten and Scott how they went about creating their marriage celebration that we … t.co/lOalrJmHL… t.co/gVhU3kL93…

Hey, @TurnbullMalcolm, can we get a plebiscite on outsourcing 000? That affects Australian life more than #marriageequality ✌️️

Photographed by The Left Lane t.co/LrrXr6SDf…

So of course I said yes, and they show me a drive-thru wedding chapel.

This is a drive-thru wedding chapel and my day was just made.

On Skype with a couple I’m marrying from Las Vegas and they ask me “do you want to see a drive-thru wedding chapel?” t.co/T5qEN8pbq…

Well @Apple’s ‘drop something in on the @google keynote" was more boring than expected t.co/iYsvNz1Ir…

“Here’s a photo of everyone with a double chin from laughing so hard” - Mitchell &amp; Hannah 📷 Jessie Dains t.co/KP4I99t9e…

Over coffee this last weekend, as Amy sat protectively next to Josh eagerly wearing a Cron… t.co/nlUscRfnc… t.co/W8ksMy0ds…

Oh Siri, you’re so fine t.co/1YpwbskVQ…

Perth // this Monday, October 10, is my next wedding business automation and customer jour… t.co/DR6UfTwxq… t.co/WxpxaYzRk…

Help me, Obi Wan Internet, I desire an iPhone 7 Plus Jet Black. What’s the best way to procure one, as every sales person is just ¯_(ツ)_/¯

In other  thoughts, I just held a jet black iPhone 7 and it’s the one to get, the colour has nothing to do with it, it just feels nice

Is my desperation for a new #MacBook showing?

Amendment to my MacBook prediction: @Apple will drop #Airpods or a new #MacBook tomorrow as Google announces the Pixel.

Call me crazy, but I’d put money on Apple dropping new MacBooks the same hour Google holds it’s event this week.

In case my Twitter feed doesn’t tell the story … I’m having a day off and Britt’s in Italy so I’m home alone

Proof that @MrKRudd did have other nation’s support for that UN gig t.co/eeeXt3sVh…

Show business is hard t.co/MzBYBPddP…

So saying “I do” confuses a modern conversation with redundant and irrelevant words

Australia has some of the most liberal, forward thinking marriage laws in the world, with the exception of John Howard’s little addition

If we’re going to fight for marriage and #marriageequality, and we should, then let’s know what we’re fighting for

There’s an issue with #sayidodownunder, it’s misguided influence on @MargotRobbie and @joshuasasse’s behalf t.co/CJFG0J4ok…

Toad stacking, just another example of the age of entitlement - Queenslanders have it too good t.co/pSzLJGKfA… #toadstacking

ReflexLOLogy, a sporting competition I think I could win t.co/NKEJVa4Ud…

👔 @opposuits 📷 @leoniboltphoto t.co/AY8MpCvW8… t.co/M2jIpIhuI…

Ben &amp; Khya #marriedbyjosh t.co/jCJWMBOK5…

If I was to have married Josh &amp; Amy two years ago I’d be jailed for six months.

They’ve now got a few weeks to come down off a Cronulla Sharks win so we can celebrate their marriage 😂

James Day Photography is making their pictures and Max is capturing the Big Day Of Amy &amp; Josh!

You’re going to love their story, and luckily they’ve got the three best storytellers in the business working for them.

2yrs ago it was illegal for Josh &amp; Amy to get married but in 3 weeks they’ll get to call each other husband and wife according to the law. t.co/XhfIfX6zP…

Darkness falls on The Shire #NRLGF

Awesome episode of @TheShireTV tonight on #NRLGF t.co/UZ4cTA3T1…

Hey guys, if I had excess cash and wanted to just straight up burn some of that shit during the #NRLGF, does anyone have any ideas?

Melbourne supporters are good children #NRLGF

I’m predicting 120 penalties #NRLGF

Jessica Nobra, amirite?! #NRLGF

Thank god that’s over

Every year we’re all like, “wake me up when the pre-game entertainment ends” #NRLGF

On a Sunday morning west of Brisbane there were donkey rides, popcorn, a petting zoo with … t.co/lJliW7J6q… t.co/PpkVSbfkn…

On a Sunday morning west of Brisbane there were donkey rides, popcorn, a petting zoo with … t.co/bVa2efdGH… t.co/3hDOrFOw3…

If you’re looking for crazy suits, I got this one from @OppoSuits

I figured @hellobrittanyjane wold only let me wear this suit once so I best take a hot pho… t.co/AZ3TqhWE7… t.co/SATHb4m7H…

Oh, hey home! (See you later today) t.co/6R3zp7hc5… t.co/df2ZsQ4fF…

Totes forgot to wake Green Day up yesterday.

“All love stories are frustration stories… To fall in love is to be reminded of a frustrat… t.co/gLSCASvuD… t.co/5m7jRfwWo…

Can wedding dresses stop being a thing? t.co/nUet9Ks6I…

Nick married his Nana! (Yes, her name is Nana) Nana and Nick are two Perthites who are re… t.co/gOMMuFpI7… t.co/OticAXdTM…

Bloody hell, Siri t.co/xI3AZUOqs…

Please support to my charity to spread awareness of people that send direct message Snaps when they meant to post a @Snapchat Story.

Instagram says a lot about a person. My personal insta has planes, sunsets and sunrises, gadgets, and bacon t.co/fcJuc3wWV…

5:41am BNE✈️SYD t.co/UKCrZHpyx…

Tom promised to make Julia a cup of tea every morning. A high calling.

Julia &amp; Tom #marri… t.co/g3974czcE… t.co/wJIbQpX03…

Dear, @Dropbox, life is hard enough without rogue notifications that have nothing to notify. Sincerely, OCD guy t.co/jOHWEDROi…

“I edited my first wedding in iPhoto” - James Day tells @morgancroberts t.co/x84w23m5x…

Pro Marriage Tip: Never threaten divorce during an argument, or, ever. Try really hard to get good at arguing like adults.

Craig and Lisa #marriedbyjosh 📽 Whitedress Productions 🏠 Osteria t.co/CjrIjD6Sy…

Byron Bay confidential // Erin &amp; Eugene #marriedbyjosh with the @elopementcollective and @… t.co/5cj771uZR… t.co/gjEkMdDjk…

Pop quiz: Did Stephen come to Australia to, a) marry Ashleigh b) or to tour his Moby/Emin… t.co/plMxPsIi9… t.co/rB2kb0pSP…

Weddings: not as important as marriages! t.co/dFANgJkF0…

Press release from Apple that’s not about Macs. Straight trash, begone!

South Australia, the mushroom state

Melissa and Aaron #marriedbyjosh with Aaron Shum and The Elopement Collective t.co/ee3vCwqsn…

A&amp;J eloped in secret, so here’s J’s florals by She’s A Wildflower instead of a photo of them 🌺🎉😁💯 t.co/ntgFHvXLS…

Of the main desktop/web app

To clarify: asshole developers are the ones who decide their iOS app should be iphone only, or shouldn’t have the full functionality

I think so many developers have written off the iPad as a viable main-platform. It’s actually really good except for a few assholes.

Day two of using iOS/iPad Pro 9.7"/Logitech Create as my main computer and I’m still alive. Biggest weakness, as always, is app developers.

I have found a notebook type app for just doodling on a PDF but it’s a crappy app.

Every app I find, paid and free, Adobe and other, are all about a single user signing a document by creating a signature.

IPad App help please: I’m trying to find an app for signing documents - where five people can sign a PDF from Dropbox or iCloud.

When you’re trying to transition from a MacBook to iPad Pro and all your apps are like FU - @aircall and too many others t.co/B40dirMMT…

All of the disciples were in one Accord … t.co/dFt07qVyX…

My old (10+ year ago) @ICQ account is dead in the water 🙁 who knew ICQ even had an app still? t.co/71klHRecK…

In breaking news today we can reveal the ‘Hayne train’ is actually a commuter train that takes journalists on epic adventures.

Anyone done a word study on who’s using “marriage equality” versus “same sex marriage” in #auspol?

“Love is better than no love, though it can hurt so much.” - Iris Murdoch

Sydney, you’ve been awesome, let’s do it all again next weekend, ok? SYD✈️OOL t.co/Naema6NEN…

Wedding rehearsal?

Where we’re going we don’t need a wedding rehearsal.

Maybe practise l… t.co/6yBfi71Ov… t.co/OyN1bYnEn…

Nice ride, @Qantas #qf5 t.co/gMnxZQJ21…

Starting my Sunday with client meetings on the NSW Central Coast, everything is Terrigal about this place. t.co/lpBt0Gab4…

Share the love - what wedding business has been awesome to you recently? Mention them in the comments!

Vas and Felicia #marriedbyjosh t.co/XWxiklTOh… t.co/EEXqNGNXo…

30 couples are now married! #marriageamnesty - thanks for having us @younghenrys!!! t.co/GrCBfbVQY… t.co/8UAW3T95M…

The day @joshuawithers married @josh.withers, to @natalieragonesi, at #marriageamnesty day… t.co/QxLu2sFux… t.co/RX5FPtBJV…

The 2016 #marriageamnesty team ➡️ #marriedbyjosh + @saskiaandshadow + @tenistolt + @benage… t.co/Re491AT4d… t.co/vV1Friyha…

“Been waiting for 4 years to finally get married after having two babi…” t.co/WSc1AwbIq…

They just posted a selfie, and I’m like … fuck …. all these mp3s have been brainwashing me

I just found out that I have the same shirt, haircut, and sunglasses as my favourite podcaster. No, I will not admit who this is.

A Polish boy met an Irish girl in Australia on @tinder and today they got married in Sydne… t.co/wZwqK0ckX… t.co/muiu5vpfV…

Pro Marriage Tip: Date night. Now.

I don’t know @Nick_Xenophon personally, but I’ll attend his funeral one day just to watch @markhumphries ensure he’s buried with that car.

“No one else will have the same wedding as us as you made it an original!” - Courtney &amp; Shaun t.co/fxhWX9HY7…

Australia made great again in one @TheTodayShow interview. t.co/wRGdA0nat…

… in front of Australia’s Parliament house as a lady possibly in a hijab poses for photos with the house. t.co/MQOtisbdT…

Pauline Hanson, lead racist in the Australian parliament … t.co/WZBJdqPLc…

“For a younger generation you’ll be their first white president” t.co/M1QtHBSAs…

Just realised that a few months ago I taught Karl about hall passes &amp; now his marriage is on the rocks #ohshit t.co/oQn2gkD6R…

There are couples flying from across the country and even one couple from the Phillipines 🙀

Just casually freaking out over Saturday’s calendar #marriageamnesty t.co/68KinyKas…

Tara and Will #marriedbyjosh t.co/x6bE9IrIk…

Tom’s a computer programmer so keeping in that tradition, his vows were basically “everyth… t.co/KWqao5Od4… t.co/rHe6Y6t9d…

Oh hey, @trevorlong t.co/Gdap3aclI…

5am alarm, 7:20am flight, at 8:42am the seatbelt light turns off and I am Christopher Walkin in Weapon of Choice t.co/OW75MKhvU…

Sophie &amp; Joe had a small, intimate, ceremony and a massive, raging, after party. Plus Soph… t.co/cF4r28jwk… t.co/Ple6ziEg9…

Pretty encouraging to see our little biz on this list! t.co/uiRlWS9ak…

Ping @AppleSupport - in case you guys haven’t seen this one

It’s pretty legit, for a scam t.co/Bq3HhYdPu…

A fool would click this link and enter his iCloud details like they want so they can unlock the phone and resell it.

I lost my iPhone 6S Plus 128GB Gold in Bali in June. t.co/6CK7sMhJB…

{testing an app} My highlight (7m story) t.co/br1AvXtTa… t.co/gLkO4Bjyo…

All these people are rad dudes.

Luke &amp; Emily #marriedbyjosh photographed by @morganrobert… t.co/bNYKeR1bG… t.co/3FrGCCcGi…

Me in White Mag! t.co/aDyCR2EZC…

Who decided that spam calling was profitable? t.co/6S8Qs5JuG…

“I always thought I hated weddings, but I just hated how everyone else did it” Eric &amp; Rachel #marriedbyjosh t.co/hch3tgOzC…

Who gets married on a Tuesday in the #ByronBay hinterland with four guests, the @elopement… t.co/df0k1E9WI… t.co/UtlqiNkQU…

When you don’t have the Internet, just Facebook me, I’m here to help t.co/vM3KBo4wN…

My favourite #iOS10 app? #Hiya, it alerts you to spam &amp; telemarketing calls t.co/xuJ044I2Q… t.co/PhgV4XbgK…

I’m so close to emptying my inbox that I had to procrastinate on Twitter for a bit Thanks for being here for me guys.

Thanks @thebrollyapp! t.co/Ymy35W4nR…

That calendar thing really has a way of sneaking up on you.

It just hit me that I’m marrying 30 couples this Saturday at @younghenrys for #marriageamnesty day

Spent the first few moments of this meeting thinking the couple were having a death wedding. Turns out my hearing is as good as the bride’s.

I am @SteveMolk' worst friend t.co/bh41Cn77V…

“Please kiss whatever part of you you can reach for me” - John Cage t.co/P9nazRqGK…

We fought the fog and the rain so that Danika could say “I vow that I will always take car… t.co/WsrnZjH5s… t.co/me5xKDmsO…

What’s your favourite thing about the person you’re marrying?

Melanie &amp; Don #marriedbyjosh t.co/AmGwBAmBr…

“When we’re out for dinner I’ll always shuffle forward when you pull the table closer to y… t.co/9J22BqmBX… t.co/NMbwOVfnH…

Things are about to get reaaalll messy for Rebecchi with the good hair

t.co/4CR2yD3CP…

High school sweethearts tied the knot and cemented an awesome future together as husband a… t.co/5y2e4m3Rd… t.co/RG47Ln29N…

At first she thought he was a stalker, turns out he was actually going to be her favourite… t.co/UdOsAZnYL… t.co/c0OLLkaoN…

Pro Tip: Loving like a champion requires listening like a champion. [Felicity &amp; Mark photographed by Emma Hampton] t.co/17Zl2iKqd…

Bon-dye Beach - never Bon-dee @_connectedfm @ismh @imyke @viticci - and this is what my iPhone thinks it looks like t.co/WpZZfX3Te…

Adrian + Elizabeth #marriedbyjosh with The Elopement Collective and Finch and Oak photography t.co/vIaFkJpdS…

Despite where you stand on #marriageequality isn’t it great to see so many debating the value of marriage

And the 👰 wore her 👔's gym 👡s t.co/t1UB2YGn0… t.co/i3wG2NDS8…

Rebecca and Simon #marriedbyjosh t.co/QlvkOZUwq…

As we walked down to Purling Brook Falls in the pouring Springbrook rain I gave the vet an… t.co/kyskXPqx7… t.co/Xzydg3cwU…

“We are already married in the Philippines but we want to make it official in Austra…” t.co/WSc1AwbIq…

So, Andrew and Tamara’s vows made me cry. Probably the second or third time that’s happene… t.co/DTAp5s5XS… t.co/USHpt52CP…

Helen wore blue shoes, Jamie wore a massive grin, I didn’t wear sunscreen.

Jamie &amp; Helen … t.co/Akod2Zx9f… t.co/ytzToKiCS…

From their farm to ours!

Michael &amp; Jess travelled with their favourites from Victoria to … t.co/0ixkL2Ql2… t.co/ApieXvlrj…

Laura and Adam didn’t want to get stressed on their wedding day, so they had a #popupweddi… t.co/c1rA1hQGB… t.co/qLp1pMpJ5…

There was nothing traditional about Nat and Matt’s pop up wedding. It was better than trad… t.co/jvpuyZ1yE… t.co/CXFAapXGf…

Peta and Jeff are a true testament to strength and unity as a couple #marriedbyjosh t.co/gMjfWDx0z…

They didn’t let long distance get in the way of a good love story! Tara &amp; Ben #marriedbyjo… t.co/8WuLicKCR… t.co/kzphK6iCy…

14 years together and today they got married #poppy wedding style! Cara &amp; Trent #marriedby… t.co/H6FmlI0KO… t.co/x6HMnaW6k…

“We are so thankful for you kind words &amp; wisdom during our ceremony” Russell + Brianna #marriedbyjosh 📷 We Are Twine t.co/DWL6dQV2Q…

Just to fill the airwaves with positive shit.

If I was running the “yes” campaign for marriage equality, I’d put all the money into Good Samaritan works, film them and play them on TV.

Do I need a media manager? Does someone want to come along be my media liaison? I’ll give you a reference for your resume lol :)

Press are asking if they need media accreditation for Marriage Amnesty Day, next Saturday 24 …. should I make them up cute little badges?

And you thought Siri wasn’t a real person … t.co/mnGhn2QpR…

Dear #Portland, you’ve been weird, don’t ever change. We love you.

Sincerely, Josh &amp; Bri… t.co/tRJwWvKgw… t.co/hUNFRnTFo…

Quite literally, his father. Ryan (and Meika) #marriedbyjosh 📷 Red Apple Photography 🏠 Glengariff Historic Estate t.co/tdv8Nb8Bu…

Wedding Industry Full Day Workshops || Brisbane and now Perth!

Brisbane on September 28 P… t.co/kcHbgKB1w… t.co/2CvYc2kf0…

Hanging with my favourite rock and @heartandcolour #uluru t.co/SydQHoXjT… t.co/ROFhEZ23f…

When I got busted trying to put a snapchat filter on Uluru t.co/YNpy2FVck…

I’m open to blog post ideas - anything you’d like help with that I could write about?

9 years worth of design t.co/NhbDD5snU…

Steph and Kieran emailed us a few months ago, realising that a wedding wasn’t for them, bu… t.co/xdJQISCEX… t.co/oZlWYbMqR…

Lauren &amp; Samantha #marriedbyjosh t.co/uV5jLiox9…

Cannot believe we married people in the USA yesterday!! Photos by @lukejleasure with @elopementcollec t.co/r7ZcUdwd8…

Yesterday!! A girl from Sydney and a boy from London found a place in the woods outside of… t.co/A6rc0N0Hd… t.co/m7u7NGR70…

“Everyone else” in Western Australia was running away to Bali to get married, so just for … t.co/W5AY7QbdU… t.co/YRUO0sBz9…

I couldn’t purchase an emergency wooden bow tie in Portland(ia) yesterday. Now I’m questioning everything.

After prancing around and eloping in Oregon and Washington’s forests for the afternoon, @d… t.co/g2aU9fo2S… t.co/bL0pXzSS8…

Danni, a Sydney girl was a barista in London, where Rich successfully ignored her. Once th… t.co/xlIQulEjm… t.co/ynXQCVndD…

Your marriage vows are a foundation to your marriage that should be built upon, not taken away from.

We’re like two chapters in a book.

Thanks for the pics, @lukeandmallory!! t.co/rTlNud0Ib… t.co/9GL28HEg9…

I’m not that impressed with the iPhone 7. All of my previous iPhones have had the “lost my headphones again” feature for years now.

“Josh was the first thing I booked, I needed to make sure I had him” Jamie + Di #marriedbyjosh 📷 Life, Love &amp; Light t.co/L9P7BQCWO…

RIP Myriad. A font taken from us so young, only 14 years old. t.co/xBjHFbzEu…

Did you see us in the Collective Hub magazine?! t.co/LEyKoXtiN…

… the newspaper advertises “friendly neighbourhood” dealers that sell joints for $5 t.co/UbV8PhoNP…

Portland, where the Starbucks serve craft beer, the food trucks serve handmade soda, and…

Four years ago we made a marriage. It’s the best thing we ever started making, and every d… t.co/aAl2UfbJF… t.co/DODS7h3Lx…

I’ll take a side of beef with my marriage ceremony please.

Josh &amp; Meisha #marriedbyjosh w… t.co/mipe2AKFp… t.co/3aYJJrR4k…

Peter &amp; Edita #marriedbyjosh at Byron Bay! t.co/gZqIbvHG8…

Jade + Lewis #marriedbyjosh with The Elopement Collective and Michael Briggs Photography! t.co/1gAzKvTaL…

Hello, Murica! 🇺🇸

The Logitech Create 9.7" isn’t available in AUS yet - so whilst in the USA I’d thought I’d try buy one, but I can’t find one - any ideas?

We’re off to Portland for an elopement today with Oregon’s finest photogs, @lukeandmallory… t.co/m91wL1YXJ… t.co/3QVTLSUeS…

Today we travel to a city whose town slogan is “Keep Portland weird”. Ten points if you can guess which city it is.

After ten years together Meisha and Josh wanted an experience, something awesome, when it … t.co/DYRbNpUur… t.co/ZW29VmjJe…

That’s not a sunset, this is a sunset t.co/qxPslK2dC…

When the makeup artist married the lifeguard.

Wes + Sarah #marriedbyjosh with the @elopem… t.co/ZTwCKGSuB… t.co/pb1gR15qS…

Check out the blog post from the White Magazine launch party! t.co/Gwk6QNztM…

Can wedding dresses stop being a thing?

I’m acutely aware of my position in this argument… t.co/vrDJTRa5A… t.co/c1Mb9nbt4…

Black magic - @apple tweets hut there are no tweets! t.co/GOGqINF5W…

✈️ From Far North Queensland to Close Western Queensland

“Josh made our ceremony a fun part of the day, rather than necessary” Layton &amp; Laura #marriedbyjosh 📷 James Day t.co/85NFsGbjI…

I wish “wedding dresses” stopped being a thing, instead, people could wear “I feel like a … t.co/yoGko3CqX… t.co/SMHekpj3q…

After thirteen years of good times, they decided it was finally time to get married. So th… t.co/5lrTuOPDD… t.co/8fyAM64zP…

Hi, Cairns ✌🏼️✈️🌴 t.co/RfTGQ0U8t…

Where did you meet your bride/groom/husband/wife?

Going troppo for an #elopement 🍸BNE ✈ ️CNS t.co/HHQQ6yj2X… t.co/lELlEOVZA…

Melanie &amp; Don #marriedbyjosh with The Elopement Collective and Morgan Roberts on Mount Tamborine t.co/AmGwBAmBr…

I was talking to @leighwarnerweddings today about what a post-vintage, post-boho-chic wedd… t.co/M1pp4YEdS… t.co/4duxK98Qv…

You might not know how horror movies work, but because Kirsty &amp; Josh were wed next to the … t.co/6UhtzcUGq… t.co/LTKfhIlA1…

I’ve got a new competition! If you’ve read Eb &amp; DJ’s story in @whitemagazine you’ve won. B… t.co/PPGAMQCXa… t.co/ZG4WvYLCq…

Not many people know this but I provide a free pre-ceremony dad joke entertainment service… t.co/GNlBf6BHm… t.co/UQrblwvk0…

Verifying myself: I am withers on Keybase.io. 9MULoOamyFoL3EDs4XvTK8lG_Sc_dIZSPGhD / t.co/Enk0fBI9k…

The pinnacle of an #awesomewedding: awesome #weddingvows Jared &amp; Amelia #marriedbyjosh at… t.co/7cvT0Qlo1… t.co/V09W0qxv6…

Pro Marriage Tip: Tell your spouse they’re sexy, but wait: mean it. [Photo by Aaron Shum Photography] t.co/FPugObd3P…

Never let a narrative get in the way of a good story t.co/Zkp2SpnQ0…

Any ideas why @TurnbullMalcolm is reading the Riot Act to MPs? Like, it was good for 1715, but is it relevant to his peeps?

“It’s so refreshing to find a celebrant that doesn’t talk in hushed calming tones” Danielle + Lindsay #marriedbyjosh t.co/fczCWArhp…

Sitting in front of a blank page trying to write vows? Here’s some questions to ask yourself t.co/lGG7Z9a2V…

Glee!! Ambre + Rob #marriedbyjosh with the @elopementcollective, @crimsonweddingflowers, a… t.co/syuKKMjY8… t.co/qeHDYr98V…

Sooooo I meant August t.co/DtDR2Ek77…

Anyone know when the Logitech Create 9.7" iPad Pro keyboard is being released?

Want to go to the snow?

Stephen &amp; Natasha #marriedbyjosh with the @elopementcollective, @… t.co/zlf2dpo9L… t.co/tPh8NiF4Y…

Tweet of the year t.co/NJLSiTork…

Fellow nerds, lend me your fingers: I’m in Portland, Oregon, next week, April 6-13, are there any nerd/awesome things I should see/do?

Everything, beautiful.

Jess + Jon #marriedbyjosh with The Elopement Collective in Queenst… t.co/LXN8g86rC… t.co/JMqi5ggc1…

Fetishes? Sure I’ve got one t.co/ZIKABgKsH…

What a time to be alive. A hawk picks up a snake and seriously throws it at an innocent family

Thats un-Australian

t.co/BvC45bGaq…

“When you marry your best friend, life just becomes all the more perfect.” Ebony &amp; DJ #marriedbyjosh in NZ t.co/yt7dY5ixu…

Adrian &amp; Katie 🎤 #marriedbyjosh 🎉 The Elopement Collective 📷 Finch &amp; Oak 🏠 Summergrove Estate t.co/HVe2hChR2…

Frequent travellers - are you in a hotel loyalty thing? If so, why? I’m Accor Gold but feeling like I should change.

Flicking through @whitemagazine and there’s my girl @hellobrittanyjane looking so hot! Tha… t.co/foZzRLBea… t.co/fPhcF8Ane…

There’s not enough splash pages on the internet. Click here to enter.

It was an honour to speak at the @whitemagazine launch about the importance of a publicati… t.co/coF9ZABrr… t.co/Iu0PHQiCw…

Fun in the sun with Glenn &amp; Jen #marriedbyjosh at the Perth Pop-Up Wedding with @elopement… t.co/CnLKe1dBz… t.co/VA9qOMTjg…

Because I’m Happy! Ricky &amp; Amy rockin the aisle with Pharrell #marriedbyjosh 📷Ethereal Photography 🏠Flaxton Gardens t.co/sAeSi1Ede…

There’s a slight photoshop in this image. @ me if you can see it t.co/c5FImU1rg…

Can’t believe this was a thing I was in t.co/3TQsw14eB…

A rocky start to an elopement. Yes, that is an awesome pun.

Photo by @heartandcolour with… t.co/ZZhfFwNkG… t.co/x23LBWD0P…

Their friends and family still don’t know they eloped 🙃 #MarriedByJosh with @elopementcoll… t.co/zLwPmp6fr… t.co/J0L1mAjiB…

Marriage: a simple, easily understood, liberating commitment to tackling the future togeth… t.co/YyP1JhTn8… t.co/lCqEurtqe…

1916: “…to love cherish and obey…” 206: “…oh bae, I ❤️&amp; 💏 you…”

How ⏲ has changed us for the 👌🏼

Theresa logged onto the Internet dating website to delete her account, which inadvertently… t.co/HCogbjymG… t.co/PVyXa1wk7…

If you’re going to say an awesome marriage vow into a microphone in front of your friends … t.co/bpkqZkLHU… t.co/mmdm115fz…

They had wanted to be husband and wife since they were 13! They waited a bit though, don’t… t.co/9gMXr1ZHu… t.co/B66d2WZTq…

What if we had a plebiscite on having a plebiscite? #plebisciteequality

Bali’s a pretty awesome place to get married - if it’s on your list, check this out t.co/3unOSWn7j…

The wedding tax, and how to avoid it t.co/CeC9a4Guo… t.co/UCBoSRXet…

You know what’s awkward? When you’re a guest at a wedding and you’re up the back like you'… t.co/YvsOZ2CJv… t.co/XcdednwO8…

Just over a week until Portland!!! I’ll be blue like jazz all week :D

Or am I super late?

Any reason that the @GCTitans game isn’t being broadcast? Actually turned the TV on to watch :/

The one where the cake lady married the possum whisperer!

Evan + Simone #marriedbyjosh at… t.co/2u66MS20F… t.co/KuC08Wk4e…

If you’ve ever talked to me about celebrating marriage you’d know that I think you should … t.co/cuDxojZ6Y… t.co/cU2qqR1sx…

because they lost access. Thank you, Steve Jobs, for the flashlight. 3/3

It’s hard to believe that less than a decade ago none of us had flashlight apps. It was a different time. You’d drop your keys in the 1/3

dark of night and immediately surrender your house and car, your whole life. People would just walk away from their previous lives 2/3

When Emily responded to John’s advert she was expecting to ride away on a bike. Instead. .… t.co/JwH1tkPVo… t.co/9cRY4SzRb…

Is everyone getting this error on @instagram? #instagram t.co/n35dcx2Dr…

Everyone follow this thread, Bill is my favourite t.co/xWXIc1mCN…

Pro Marriage Tip: If you don’t understand yourself, you don’t understand anyone else.

“Josh encapsulated our philosophy to a T, we could tell that he really paid attention” Jess &amp; Ben #marriedbyjosh t.co/7ju0zH5lH…

I work super hard at three things: being in an awesome marriage, so I can talk authentical… t.co/mMm2buHw0… t.co/TYc9HjFak…

Thinking about wedding creation differently - t.co/RQm31psoq…

We snuck down beneath a waterfall just off the Great Ocean Road so Aaron and Sally could e… t.co/Sa9YoO346… t.co/OL69hbjtk…

Home time t.co/GoiLOgzui…

The love of field and coppice, Of green and shaded lanes. Of ordered woods and gardens Is … t.co/qTIzTGy4O… t.co/DZHtPnztS…

Henri and Nicole #marriedbyjosh at Gabbinbar Homestead with Kelly Adams! t.co/vvjDuXCf5…

Hashtag Australia t.co/I3KTDXEEn…

Legit authentic tumbleweed 🏜 t.co/bUKBYEehx…

Considerably grateful to be able to experience all of this. So much good ✌🏼️

The red centre, the outback, the Olgas, Ayers Rock, Kata Tjuta, Uluru, the moon. t.co/kY2cNvG21…

Weddings are for happiness 🎉Vikram and Jemma #marriedbyjosh t.co/P2pQvz0yS…

Once their family knows they eloped, we can share their story. But today they’re just a sp… t.co/kGArFrLea… t.co/fNXUvIq0b…

We said “where would you like to elope?” and they said “Uluru!” So we’re in Uluru and no-o… t.co/VJTSryvCz… t.co/aKjvz5jzB…

Tomorrow’s office, with @elopementcollective and @heartandcolour t.co/kUZjVN8g7… t.co/B0ELqz9UY…

Today is 🚗 Brisbane ✈️ Sydney ✈️ Uluru!

Felicity + Mark eloped! #marriedbyjosh 🏞 Wendy’s Secret Garden 📷 Emma Hampton 🎉 The Elopement Collective t.co/Xcx8RTIn0…

Felicity + Mark eloped! #marriedbyjosh 🏞 Wendy’s Secret Garden 📷 Emma Hampton 🎉 The Elopement Collective t.co/cOtiN0iu7…

Joe said “I look forward to every day for the rest of our lives” and Sophie said “I promis… t.co/8qP9c7Mji… t.co/Y3Wkpj0Px…

12 months ago Stacey and Craig were married under the moonlight at @osteriacasuarina.

One… t.co/Mk6jHLPrD… t.co/Av7e0LYSA…

“The day should be about the two of us, and nothing else. No frills requir…” t.co/WSc1AwbIq…

Signing table? Where we’re going we don’t need a signing table!

Elopement with @heartandc… t.co/wmn0rvmuS… t.co/Axg60hstj…

I answer the question on the WedVid talkshow “personal vows or Googled vows” t.co/Iqh7LlbRv…

Questions you can ask yourself to help you write amazing wedding vows t.co/lGG7Z8Ss3…

“great opportunity ti tie the k…” t.co/WSc1AwbIq…

That time we all got on a boat and made @kissmeyoufool_dilhari a wife!

Doug &amp; Dilhari #ma… t.co/PLgMF5i1L… t.co/Rqv8ijFrV…

Under a full moon in the Brisbane Valley, Ben &amp; Jess made a commitment too each other with… t.co/osAhUGgQ4… t.co/EAyz9ROFx…

From this day forward, throughout all of the uncertainty of life, Dave &amp; Nik know this one… t.co/FKvyOfo2w… t.co/rKrpAWUCW…

They eloped west of Brisbane in #Esk on Thursday in front of their inner circle of favouri… t.co/veiyI6dwT… t.co/A2LUPfDfz…

The untold story of “YASSS” starts about 19 minutes into this Ep of @replyall.

It’s amazing.

t.co/x74S3VyP2…

Dawn &amp; Pete #marriedbyjosh t.co/UVA50I89t…

It’s not Sri Lanka, but @binnaburramountainlodge was a suitable middle ground for their el… t.co/zMSHLXD8l… t.co/7glEJYElr…

My list of “most exciting places I’ve printed marriage certificates for” has a new winner t.co/g1cvFZTmo… t.co/LEINwdpmq…

An honourable human relationship is a process, not a moment. It’s a journey, an adventure, something that goes beyond any one moment.

“Firstly and most importantly, our ceremony was relaxed &amp; reflected us to a tee. And secon… t.co/fJkXI7V1z… t.co/SmpGo2Jqf…

“You made it more of a celebration than a formal event” - Kirsten &amp; Scott #marriedbyjosh 📷 Heart &amp; Colour t.co/iHXzdA4nF…

A marriage born on the rapids, celebrated in a hardware store, with the most important peo… t.co/2Awb2mci2… t.co/JxYkyNVG6…

I’ve forgotten if I’m a back or a front wiper.

It’s been 20 minutes now, sitting on the toilet, just wondering what’s even real any more.

Red typo for have

But small businesses that red in their own mail servers hate my domain name.

Dear, intelligent people that know SMTP stuff. I don’t know how to be in blacklisted. Major email providers are ok. t.co/hmso9Iw2l…

When even your cat is getting spam emails about SEO t.co/aJ6AYNQdf…

Creative ways to finance your wedding - t.co/DE0ReWuzo…

Tomorrow the family finds out that they eloped today #elopementcollective #elopement #marr… t.co/DtJcMxLWb… t.co/hl5Hz17RK…

Adding this to the list of things that are things t.co/WbOz2fS1M…

New level of crazy/awesome reached: a couple are coming from the Philippines for #marriage… t.co/J9TYOPNUi… t.co/8gE5alj1H…

What’s that URL there, @trevorlong? :) t.co/RDwzb54az…

“When we decided to get married the first thing we agreed on was that we wanted our weddin… t.co/qpTf4QOcs… t.co/bqax0p14q…

Listening to it now and it doesn’t at al sound like I’d been in Skype meetings since early morning when recorded :) t.co/CQim5uIwr…

We’re making good decisions in our marriage today, starting with watching Stranger Things in daylight hours.

I tried to convince Alison from P&amp;P in the UK to convince the Brits to marry in Australia :) t.co/N6jtgKI6V…

Selfie: the photo that looks awesome even if it’s terrible! 📷 Just For Love Photography 🍔 Chur Burger t.co/b6wRO6ZBY…

If anyone has an objection … Bree + Liam #marriedbyjosh with @elopementcollective and @_… t.co/gmmsCvXht… t.co/9DdZx3atT…

Watching Japanese arrive is very excitement for hungry boy t.co/jJc4tZrdy…

First day back in my Brisbane office in two months, left the key at home. Adulting like a boss!

Totes confused about what to watch on TV tonight? Hit up the @MolksTVTalk email sub by @SteveMolk t.co/2s52UUdaD…

The second coldest wedding I’ve ever been to! t.co/6kEfuW1DI…

A campaign based in NO … sounds awesome :/ t.co/Bbn0QEQa3…

I did it over three years ago, and I’m only just levelling out, feeling all the same things today for @SteveMolk w/ launch of @MolksTVTalk

Putting yourself at the mercy of the general public, aka starting your own business venture, is so much more gut wrenching than employment.

free trial so you can trial his daily TV email for free then it’s just $5 per month. If you, like I, think that TV is too complicated 6/7

today then subscribe to Molk’s TV Talk. Now with added punctuation in the title! t.co/2s52UUdaD… 7/7

ply his TV writing skills to a new business model: instead of big media paying him to write, what if the public who already loved his 4/7

writing got behind him. So the resultant weeks of planning is now online at t.co/2s52UUdaD… - check it out, there’s a 30 day 5/7

My friend, @stevemolk has been nerding out on TV for over six years. He knows more about it than most of us do, it’s unhealthy :) He’s 1/7

not only a good friend, but we’ve co-hosted radio shows and podcasts together for years, and I love his view on the world, and in 2/7

particular, television. When we found out his employment was ending I encouraged him to ditch employment and become a free agent, to 3/7

I now sent every daily TenPlay email to spam services in the hope that a Channel Ten email never appears in an inbox every again.

Because @channelten don’t offer a way to unsubscribe from their emails, and their support guys haven’t replied to my complaint.

Someone’s excited! 📷 Love Is a Place Photography ⛰ Midginbill Hill t.co/8GTFtX5m1…

Scientists can now tell whether we’re depressed by looking at our Instagram account t.co/TDWG8vjf5…

“Behind every complaint there is a deep personal longing” - John Gottman. What is your spouse longing for from you?

The road to #midginbilhill is also someone’s bed t.co/DbDosA30k… t.co/OhSfnNrCK…

Consider this a tease: We just spent the night creating @SteveMolk’s next big thing. It’s amazing. You’ll love it 📺📧🎉😁

Me on the Today Show! t.co/RTixjy9Bp…

When Sgt Dick Power details the worst possible guy t.co/QwBaGGXXW…

When Brooke moved to London she thought she had found a fellow Aussie in the online dating… t.co/D8i4XSsSh… t.co/T04Sov5qQ…

Today Liezl married her caring straight shooter and Joel married his princess 👸🏻👨🏻 Joel &amp; … t.co/UhWdb0w1A… t.co/q0Y4Cvf26…

It’s only right that I make this announcement to my Facebook family first.

I’ve been the … t.co/YckpviNSS… t.co/SrqLxjCWa…

Pro Marriage Tip: Stress = low libido.

Solution: Build a life of no-stress.

So if you’d like to a) save money on electricity, and b) give me $50 - click here t.co/w92cfJuyC… (2/2)

My electricity provider, who is very cheap and not shit, tells me that if I refer people I get $50 when they sign up (1/2)

Andrew + Natalie #marriedbyjosh 📷 Finch &amp; Oak ⛳ Summergrove Estate 🎉 The Elopement Collective t.co/ivGQ9YUSi…

Believe it or not, wedding ceremonies can be fun t.co/Y15QdoNJx…

Sirromet Winery has a #Tesla charging station. That’s knowing your target demographic! t.co/opYkyZJWh…

I’ve been trialling Pocketbook but it’s a bit too simplistic.

Xero for personal finances? Do you have a recommendation for a Quicken or MS Money of 2016?

Mel and Don #marriedbyjosh with Morgan Roberts and The Elopement Collective on Mount Tamborine t.co/9U8YNVWBh…

Well guys, the results are in. There’s now 89 of us in Australia according to the 2016 census.

“Josh’s ability as a speaker is only surpassed by his ability as humorist” Melissa &amp; Chris #marriedbyjosh 📷 KCL t.co/hX60gizYJ…

The only real disappointment is if the news agencies didn’t already have the #censusfail news stories pre-written for tonight.

If you’ve got a sweet spot for epic scenes, I’ve just shared Michael &amp; Bianca’s #elopement… t.co/zyPunCG0m… t.co/XzqPyXKn3…

When the soldier married his person, and she married hers.

Bianca + Michael #marriedbyjos… t.co/Tjm7GskWk… t.co/UtHj24t0l…

Sydney ✈️ Gold Coast 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👌🏼

As a side note - if the @ATO_gov_au is being compromised, surely that would nevverrrrr happen to the @ABSStats #census2016 #CensusFail

TL;DR: I feel that I have evidence that the @ATO_gov_au has been compromised by hackers.

Only one single transaction before the unauthorised transactions in the USA. I’ve been in Australia and NZ and the card has not been touched

The card has existed electronically in one single place - in the credit card transactions database at the ATO through MyGov.

And today I’ve had a conversation with the credit card fraud detection intelligent people and they have it all looked after thankfully.

Then on August 5 Australia time the credit card was being used in America, a $25 transaction in a stationary store.

I attempted a single transaction - paying my GST account - the transaction was declined because my math was off and it was over the limit.

The card was fresh out of the PO Box, had not entered any electronic systems, Keychain, 1Password, Google Chrome saved credit cards. Zero.

Before leaving for New Zealand two weeks ago, on the 21st of July I attempted to pay my GST account using a brand new fresh credit card.

I’ve got a fairly heavily weighted suspicion that the ATO (Australian Tax Office) has been hacked/compromised. Story to follow.

Andrew + Rebecca #marriedbyjosh 🍃 The Elopement Collective ⛰ Byron View Farm 📷 Morgan Roberts 🌺 Pack a Perfect Party t.co/tnfC1bxYL…

With the #BlueMountains as their backdrop and a handful of their favourites as their witne… t.co/lKHZR8qmM… t.co/BYwrHQN9h…

Business idea: a browser plugin that dismisses all email subscription pop ups on websites

Marriage is more than a moment in time, it’s a process. Why not begin it in your lounge room on a Sunday morning before brunch 😁🍳☕️

I just married C&amp;F in their unit in Zetland. Their neighbours witnessed their paperwork, and in a 60sec moment they became husband &amp; wife ⏲

If I know anything about Olympic stuff, it’s that it is definitely all about luck #wtf t.co/GhbGEqZUm…

Scott and Kirsten #marriedbyjosh t.co/cTnN0UEI4…

Peter promised to love Dawn, even though he wouldn’t always get along with her. Dawn promi… t.co/8ObAGiyjC… t.co/6QzGTKwGw…

Never before has the world given less of a care about the Olympics. This is a dark time for montages.

Going to a wedding this weekend? Give the couple the greatest gift you can give: your atte… t.co/RMgqkL9Db… t.co/RR8lle6dK…

Take me home @Qantas // #ZQN ✈️ #SYD t.co/N4lM5NXEZ…

Visited my snowman before we left #Queenstown … I have not left a legacy t.co/BUerheoWN…

Just in case anyone else was wondering 😁 t.co/q0W1Dz9r2…

Pro Marriage Tip: Give your spouse your undivided attention soon. Quality time is quality.

“You were a ray of sunshine on a very rainy, stormy day!” Gavin + Natasha 🎉 #marriedbyjosh 📷 Aaron Shum 🏖 Noosa t.co/Ueizo84F2…

🎵I’m walking away🎵 from New Zealand in my life 🎶 for … a little bit, we’ll brb, we promi… t.co/8OePGYkd3… t.co/9591qUnHJ…

Sure, let’s all believe that @KimKardashian has no idea what phone company she’d like to endorse.

I’m often asked what I think the ultimate wedding looks like. It looks like this! No guest… t.co/tY3Ss0SkO… t.co/uHDKUyrZ8…

How to create vows that wow (the most cliche thing I’ve said in a while) t.co/HL249pcRl…

Last week we married Tash &amp; Steve in New Zealand. If you look in my #instagramstory right … t.co/9H6U1e0Ni… t.co/3qmMNeQIg…

Last week Stephen and Natasha, with myself, and @HeartAndColour with The @ElopementCollect… t.co/aQNYvrcUE… t.co/JYrism7XW…

Yes, I did want to build a snowman. But my hands were Frozen. t.co/X7nDVTGbS…

I was asked about personal vows, yes or no, in this edition of the Wedding-o-pedia t.co/m1WcnaYqu…

Epic New Zealand elopement for Jess and Jon yesterday. They came back to Te country the be… t.co/XSYojl7vS… t.co/1jwc0fuFv…

“Here’s a photo of everyone with a double chin from laughing so hard” - Mitchell &amp; Hannah 📷 Jessie Dains t.co/BINytaeX7…

Jon asked Jess to marry him at Lake Pukaki, near Mount Cook. Then today, down the road at … t.co/RdYhajvf5… t.co/9xWTmyaL3…

Those mountains in the background, they’re called The Remarkables. Today we celebrated Jes… t.co/875zqWZ4y… t.co/MyBEXQCXO…

My hitman business is really going to take a hit when iOS 10 comes out. This new gun emoji means nothing to me. t.co/KoYIoY9az…

We’re on a working holiday in #NewZealand this week with the heart and colour behind @hear… t.co/TGQWKOr0W… t.co/8cjbTUTmL…

Toilet humour t.co/rzMcWZAfD…

Ben &amp; Khya #marriedbyjosh t.co/jCJWMBOK5…

Answering the question: Am I a priest? t.co/YcuPwJ0dL…

Gavin &amp; Natasha #marriedbyjosh t.co/C3T0qN1gp…

Conflict and arguments are both inevitable and necessary in a marriage — t.co/EaomsPlI5… (via @itsalandrews)

“Josh, thanks so much for bringing some personality to our ceremony. Definetly not the sta… t.co/6IvaCeZ3R… t.co/jV5j3hd0V…

I have no idea what is happening here t.co/HCXveE6Y5…

Left your corporate overlords &amp; now work for yourself, like me? You’ll like this cast t.co/Uml8bdmE1… by @jsnell &amp; @MacSparky

Your marriage isn’t a destination, t’s not a goal you can reach or something you can achieve or finish. It’s a journey. A process.

Craig and Lisa #marriedbyjosh 📽 Whitedress Productions 🏠 Osteria t.co/CjrIjD6Sy…

How [I think] driverless cars will positively impact marriages t.co/axCJQfSj5…

Today we married a couple of Australians in New Zealand IN THE SNOW! All I can show you, h… t.co/kIlwyu8a0… t.co/nn2Kw5aTs…

Today I married these people in the snow! But none of their friends or family know so here… t.co/QBxiuiY6f… t.co/BBeywh1uu…

Your marriage ceremony wholly and solely celebrates your marriage, not the ideals or under… t.co/TEA4qM5ua… t.co/fPx0kQOrW…

Rob used to sneak into Ambre’s room for kissing practise. Now they’re husband and wife!

A… t.co/czInvLMlo… t.co/jc4LZkmHH…

Lauren and Bryce #marriedbyjosh in the Hunter Valley! t.co/75dWC2Zor…

A&amp;J eloped in secret, so here’s J’s florals by She’s A Wildflower instead of a photo of them 🌺🎉😁💯 t.co/FNvxZU4aL…

Good luck to everyone in @abiaaustralia Queensland awards tonight!

We’re supposed to be t… t.co/X94WH4Rgl… t.co/smZHZNX05…

“Love is better than no love, though it can hurt so much.” - Iris Murdoch

“so the kids stop being confu…” t.co/WSc1AwbIq…

“Because we just want to be married without the fuss of a weddin…” t.co/WSc1AwbIq…

“Because we both like the idea of a relaxed approach to getting marri…” t.co/WSc1AwbIq…

“Without music, life would be a mistake” - Nietzsche

Who’s playing the music at your wedding?

#NewZealand bound for two weeks with @elopementcollec &amp; @bekgrace_ for #Elopements! ✌🏼️ t.co/Y2wTsi50m…

Joe said “I promise I will never let you walk alone down any road or pathway, along with o… t.co/TYnUFTLjB… t.co/7RUq1bAEJ…

Vas and Felicia #marriedbyjosh with The Elopement Collective t.co/PIhcQluQk…

I’ve just spent last few hours in Wollongong preparing for the #bigdayof Josh &amp; Amy. Their… t.co/3uQ1zmSoq… t.co/JGjAtJFux…

15 years ago backstage at a local high school production of #WestSideStory Gordon and Kirs… t.co/Svjx5ojSI… t.co/inf9xDnDw…

1996 was a tough year #shoppingtrolleymurdered

… with Paulin Hanson for Tony Abbott’s sake.

I’ll be honest, I didn’t think opening up today’s @dailytelegraph would inform me that at one point in someone’s life they had to have sex..

Pro Marriage Tip: Vulnerability is the guardian of integrity.

“No one else will have the same wedding as us as you made it an original!” - Courtney &amp; Shaun t.co/vDiUluYpH…

Shut up and take my money

t.co/Rvcy4gz2K…

Sophie and Joe asked a handful of their closest humans to join them, and me, for an intima… t.co/wa2LfbCc7… t.co/SoHm6VZbJ…

A notice of your intended same-sex marriage … a form that means nothing and everything at the same time t.co/cKjqe3Lje…

It’s a #ByronBay kind of Wednesday t.co/c5UobB569…

E&amp;R eloped with The Elopement Collective today in secret in Byron Bay! 𐬹 𐬹 #MarriedByJosh … t.co/s4t5IkZFQ… t.co/iGzxPwWei…

Getting married in Byron Bay? I know a guy t.co/BW2zblGBN…

New #woodenbowtie and #socks day! Thanks @woodandbeau! #woodandbeau t.co/LtVyuhx7L… t.co/qRLJxXQea…

“Please kiss whatever part of you you can reach for me” - John Cage t.co/Skb77T0EC…

There is a correlation between the number of uneducated people on TV to the number of stupid things said on TV. t.co/mNee7hmXN…

Trump has Australian family? t.co/jvmJi1n3L…

Adrian + Elizabeth #marriedbyjosh with The Elopement Collective and Finch and Oak photography t.co/nM8n08Q2I…

Does Australia have one of those websites that lists all the secret email addresses for corporations?

Hey @channelten how about you make unsubscribing from your emails legal t.co/VAELw4wB9…

Have you considered holding a weekly marriage meeting? t.co/D928wKpvm…

What is it like to hire Josh Withers? t.co/wZ99bOEwQ…

You’ve been rad Far North Queensland, see you later alligator ✌🏼️ CNS ✈️ BNE t.co/FUioWDldP… t.co/RwZ0gKzio…

Nina + Gavin #marriedbyjosh! 📷 @sbcreativeco_ with @elopementcollective 𐬹 𐬹 #elopementcoll… t.co/HOk8ajn6q… t.co/MmaBRbTKQ…

To love without knowing how to love, hurts the ones we love.

What would need to happen for you to cancel your wedding?

“We are so thankful for you kind words &amp; wisdom during our ceremony” Russell + Brianna #marriedbyjosh 📷 We Are Twine t.co/WBZE77vms…

When it’s ok to send me that email t.co/NZP3elJjE…

Strippers on the bucks night?! Does anyone still do this anymore?

Hate, in the long term, is about as nourishing as poison.

Quite literally, his father. Ryan (and Meika) #marriedbyjosh 📷 Red Apple Photography 🏠 Glengariff Historic Estate t.co/47n9ztbIK…

On holidays ✌🏼️ t.co/yovrlHYEd… t.co/pp2QQK3WW…

Pro tip: Figure out why you’re paying wedding vendors before you actually book them t.co/9iTf8ceoj…

“Josh was the first thing I booked, I needed to make sure I had him” Jamie + Di #marriedbyjosh 📷 Life, Love &amp; Light t.co/Z8RxGcdRo…

“Josh reminds me of Santa Claus, always jolly and happy to be there.

He lights up the roo… t.co/AtjMMz1go… t.co/3LdrAsciq…

Screen time &lt; face time.

The real reason you should never smile at a crocodile is because when she visits the GC she’ll want to stay with you t.co/Bqqa28btA…

Ian and Irene #marriedbyjosh t.co/IrH2IliRJ…

What’s the best wedding photo ever, like, in the history of the universe? I’d love to see it.

Alex &amp; Chris ditched their Sydney wedding plans to elope with us in Port Douglas! #married… t.co/pKmBqfIPf… t.co/4ppuFLgvA…

Vas and Felicia #marriedbyjosh t.co/XWxiklTOh… t.co/906qAv2lW…

Jade + Lewis #marriedbyjosh with The Elopement Collective and Michael Briggs Photography! t.co/SsSIKHcYA…

Nine couples walking into forever with their favourite people tonight thanks to our Far No… t.co/GQzkA4sBZ… t.co/U7rgKmSnh…

Tara and Will #marriedbyjosh t.co/x6bE9IJjJ…

Michael + Rikka eloped with just their parents, such a freakingly special afternoon with @… t.co/k1SfbVpNS… t.co/H4hRq7gff…

“Gracey, I love you more than trucks. I love you more than firetrucks. I love you more tha… t.co/QIVMQOFLJ… t.co/6x8M0Aorx…

Ben &amp; Angela #marriedbyjosh! 𐬹 𐬹 #elopementcollective #nqpopupwedding #popupwedding #port… t.co/ooSUqs5vp… t.co/RTIzm1YTT…

It’s with great sadness that I announce I will possibly not be Prime Minister, probably.

“Your words on that day were and will continue to be so true and relevant” Belle &amp; David #marriedbyjosh 📹 Twelve08 t.co/NHJTx3uDg…

Gavin &amp; Nina #marriedbyjosh! 𐬹 𐬹 #elopementcollective #nqpopupwedding #popupwedding #port… t.co/tikK4TlAw… t.co/kDEstdGcA…

Christine &amp; Steve #marriedbyjosh! 𐬹 𐬹 #elopementcollective #nqpopupwedding #popupwedding … t.co/TSe3R3nsC… t.co/IkQY3zaoU…

Chris + Jess #marriedbyjosh! 𐬹 𐬹 #elopementcollective #nqpopupwedding #popupwedding #port… t.co/xT2et5gEZ… t.co/oYwlAyWt2…

How many peeps in your bridal party? Are they all the same gender, either side?

Jared + Amelia! 𐬹 𐬹

#marriedbyjosh #elopementcollective #nqpopupwedding #popupwedding #… t.co/qI1tWtVu6… t.co/PVP0id1hh…

Rocking Port Douglas for @elopementcollec’s #nqpopupwedding today 👌🏼 t.co/uRdgR1jZ8…

Melanie &amp; Don #marriedbyjosh t.co/AmGwBAmBr…

Super exciting notification to get as you arrive in Port Douglas from Sydney … t.co/4FnoHA6ph…

Ah Cairns. Where I proposed that Britt might marry me, where I did breakfast radio for a few milliseconds, &amp; where the heat comes to holiday

Bye bye, winter! We’re Port Douglas bound ✌🏻️ SYD ✈️ CNS t.co/QRU7yDHDr…

Have you considered ditching the seating plan? Instead create a sign saying ‘Sit where you’d like and make a new pal.’

“Josh made our ceremony a fun part of the day, rather than necessary” Layton &amp; Laura #marriedbyjosh 📷 James Day t.co/dRZsdgbjF…

Lauren and Bryce #marriedbyjosh in the Hunter Valley! t.co/75dWC2Zor…

“We are never as kind as we want to be, but nothing outrages us more than people being unkind"

Kindness: our forbidden &amp; luxurious pleasure

On a train seat today there’s a @smh from June 18-19. A newspaper 3 weeks early. t.co/6lRKEKbPa…

Paul came from Fiji to Sydney to marry his love on a simple, saturated, Sydney morning #ma… t.co/qbI3RZew0… t.co/MjzSGCYW7…

Crazy/awesome idea: Sunrise ceremony, brunch party. Sunset drinks with your lover.

Why are you getting married where you are getting married?

“It’s so refreshing to find a celebrant that doesn’t talk in hushed calming tones” Danielle + Lindsay #marriedbyjosh t.co/mdCg0Z5PQ…

Rebecca and Simon #marriedbyjosh t.co/QlvkOZUwq…

I grew up being told to not meet strangers off the Internet, and especially not to get in their cars. Now I Uber everywhere.

I’m glad that NSW is finally banning those Greyhound Buses. Such an inefficient form of transport.

What’s the one thing you’ve hired or bought for your wedding that is non-negotiable?

Choosing music for your wedding tip: Good music acts as a guide to good living. Let your wedding music be the soundtrack to your marriage.

Adrian &amp; Katie 🎤 #marriedbyjosh 🎉 The Elopement Collective 📷 Finch &amp; Oak 🏠 Summergrove Estate t.co/1sH1dVf7P…

Getting married in Byron Bay? I know a guy t.co/BW2zblGBN…

Because I’m Happy! Ricky &amp; Amy rockin the aisle with Pharrell #marriedbyjosh 📷Ethereal Photography 🏠Flaxton Gardens t.co/15wOAXCp1…

“Nothing awakens us to the reality of life so much as true love” - Vincent Van Gogh

Lauren &amp; Samantha #marriedbyjosh t.co/uV5jLiox9…

How do actions like these not make the front page of the newspapers. It’s just disgusting and plain wrong. t.co/IP1eHgwI3…

This is just the best - Bowie answers the famous Proust Questionnaire t.co/l8b6FaWyo…

If a couple have asked me to make their ceremony an unplugged ceremony, how many times should I ask “that person” to put the phone down?

Did you see us in the Collective Hub magazine?! t.co/LEyKoXtiN…

Took my little brother to get a real haircut by tongalahi at barberbrosandco @ Barber Bros &amp; Co t.co/kH7GLp66N…

Weddings are for happiness 🎉Vikram and Jemma #marriedbyjosh t.co/lI8UEE6ey…

Melanie &amp; Don #marriedbyjosh with The Elopement Collective and Morgan Roberts on Mount Tamborine t.co/AmGwBAmBr…

Pro tip: Figure out why you’re paying wedding vendors before you actually book them t.co/9iTf8ceoj…

Showing everyone how to automate Instagram at #whocareswins t.co/Dj40F9raR… t.co/MNizH7xfb…

Chris and Bridget got married in a drain. It sounds super un-classy, but you’ll have to tr… t.co/8bd74YCVh… t.co/VeZbTrC6L…

What songs have you asked your DJ not to play?

Melanie &amp; Don #marriedbyjosh t.co/AmGwBAmBr…

Chris &amp; Bridget #marriedbyjosh t.co/Xw5w7stxx…

First date: Bridget stomped away in anger.

Second date: Bridget ran away.

Third date: It… t.co/PCFLQEsLQ… t.co/M77oI0XmF…

Sweet! There’s an #auspost party at @MedicareGov’s place tonight! t.co/dBpPEvbVC…

Anyone else getting text messages from @MedicareGov? #auspol t.co/KckVQCJ54…

Terribly awkward when a client fervently hates the TV show you were on and I don’t think they know I was on it.

“…” t.co/WSc1AwbIq…

Step 1: Put effort into your marriage. Step 2: Enjoy your marriage. Step 3: Go to step 1.

Felicity + Mark eloped! #marriedbyjosh 🏞 Wendy’s Secret Garden 📷 Emma Hampton 🎉 The Elopement Collective t.co/8HVXsYmIF…

In line for @xdotai artificial intelligence assistant to schedule my meetings. Join the evolution: t.co/hxmfU6bBf…

I for one, welcome our new phallic overlord #TheFeedSBS

Fun game, call your family members and ask them who they are voting for. Pauline might make it, guys.

Lauren and Bryce #marriedbyjosh in the Hunter Valley! t.co/75dWC3gZj…

Years and years ago @gabbinbarhomestead was Toowoomba’s “scary, old, and decrepit house” t… t.co/SWklPusz5… t.co/CseI2MsDs…

10 tips on dealing with the in-laws t.co/yKIXsoA81…

Cash bars at weddings are more and more popular - are you having one?

Selfie: the photo that looks awesome even if it’s terrible! 📷 Just For Love Photography 🍔 Chur Burger t.co/naR6jXNtG…

Sitting in front of a blank page trying to write vows? Here’s some questions to ask yourself t.co/lGG7Z8Ss3…

Let’s be honest about social networks. The main reason we’re hoping one dies is so a new one rises where we can all get better usernames.

2141 days ago Bethany would have never imagined that Luke could have came into her and Wil… t.co/FcRcQ1Lps… t.co/zhygN9cTG…

Anyone know how the different political parties feel about coffee? Trying to make an informed decision for tomorrow.

I’m looking for date-night ideas? Care to share?

Pro Marriage Tip: Perfection is impossible. Don’t aim for perfection in your marriage or home. Instead, aim for progress.

Asking for a friend.

Is there a political party you could vote for that would equally serve your own financial interests but also not make you look selfish?

Someone’s excited! 📷 Love Is a Place Photography ⛰ Midginbill Hill t.co/giapZTYg7…

Listening to @wendyzuckerman’s @sciencevs preview episode (cause I’m a @Gimletmedia member) and there’s a hilarious mis-edit at 18 min’s in

Getting married in Byron Bay? I know a guy t.co/BW2zblGBN…

Andrew + Natalie #marriedbyjosh 📷 Finch &amp; Oak ⛳ Summergrove Estate 🎉 The Elopement Collective t.co/3L4CrCLDt…

Vote 1 for heaters this weekend.

Pro Marriage Tip: Never stop being curious about your spouse. There’s always more for you to learn about them.

The wedding tax, and how to avoid it t.co/CeC9a4Guo… t.co/ACIQssfG2…

Where would you elope to, if you could?

Wake me up, when, American and Britain are great again …

I just found a password vulnerability in ANZ’s Internet Banking. I feel Michael Bolton from Office Space.

A sneak peek into what I’ve got planned for Sunday’s #whocareswins workshop in Brisbane t.co/fpobT6a6F… t.co/iakfOorVx…

Questions you can ask yourself to help you write amazing wedding vows t.co/lGG7Z9a2V…

One of Matt &amp; Megan’s four witnesses to their elopement in Bali says “is it inappropriate … t.co/UWlWJYVcg… t.co/GfbU6JtLI…

Eric + Elke #marriedbyjosh at the #perthpopupwedding with @elopementcollective 📷 @jimmy_iz… t.co/yjmzdfzsI… t.co/ArytHc2lO…

“Josh is also not a show pony. He has this brilliant ability to make you feel completely r… t.co/OBKGjnDcP… t.co/NBfAttSs5…

I had the best weekend at the #byronbayweddingfair! Seriously, I’ve attended wedding fairs… t.co/V732F4TOI… t.co/MNTxmJSdj…

“Josh’s ability as a speaker is only surpassed by his ability as humorist” Melissa &amp; Chris #marriedbyjosh 📷 KCL t.co/b6zpLTnfN…

How [I think] driverless cars will positively impact marriages t.co/axCJQfSj5…

Brisbane business peeps! Have you got your tickets to my next seminar on business systems and automations? t.co/qcaBXb1cL…

Che from @byronbayweddings is not just a pretty face, also an awesome waiter ✌🏻️#byronbayw… t.co/o1hSYIexl… t.co/EEpTGVlkm…

Really good listen for media/news/blog/podcast types t.co/x5t78jrGN…

Which flowers should I get Britt? I know NOTHING about flowers!

Vas and Felicia #marriedbyjosh with The Elopement Collective t.co/PIhcQluQk…

Byron Bay!! I’m back tomorrow/Sunday/today 9am to 2pm at @secretgardenbyronbay for the @by… t.co/DZlS2OvAZ… t.co/WYBHi8d5Q…

Before Emily met Luke she never thought she’d get married and she was happy with that. The… t.co/REDlCCRDb… t.co/AhfhYEiQj…

“Because we keep putting our wedding to a future date because of the planning and of course money. This seems th…” t.co/dy4m5YC3f…

Pro Tip: Investing money into your marriage saves you investing money into your divorce.

Commonwealth countries and former British colonies say that a “British Independence Day sounds ironic”, probably.

Andrew + Rebecca #marriedbyjosh 🍃 @elopementcollective ⛰ @byronviewfarm 📷 @morgancroberts … t.co/glQPTefHk… t.co/V110iTBbL…

Andrew + Rebecca #marriedbyjosh 🍃 The Elopement Collective ⛰ Byron View Farm 📷 Morgan Roberts 🌺 Pack a Perfect Party t.co/E6lRB93CJ…

Pro tip: Figure out why you’re paying wedding vendors before you actually book them t.co/9iTf8ceoj…

Today the world drinks English #Brexit Tea

My natural gas supplier just wrote me a letter solely asking me to visit a URL. That’s the world we live in now.

“Brexit”, more like, “we just don’t like other people”

Now it begins. First it was #Brexit, then it will be every country name mixed with a “we hate immigrants” word and some won’t make sense!

What love language are you? Do the test here t.co/vwQz4PpUp…

Share the love - what wedding business has been awesome to you recently? Mention them in the comments!

“You were a ray of sunshine on a very rainy, stormy day!” Gavin + Natasha 🎉 #marriedbyjosh 📷 Aaron Shum 🏖 Noosa t.co/2AcB46fJd…

“WE JUST WANT TO BE MARRIED AND AVOID ALL THE HASSLES OF WEDDING PREP. THANKS FOR THIS DAY.” t.co/WSc1AwbIq…

Yasss! Steve &amp; Kate just got their tickets to Who Cares Wins!! Gets yours at t.co/Ugy8u3MyL…

A notice of your intended same-sex marriage … a form that means nothing and everything at the same time t.co/cKjqe3Lje…

What’s your favourite thing about the person you’re marrying?

Pro Marriage Tip: Your spouse is not going to be like you, that’s why you married them! A… t.co/jviMyX8qp… t.co/MXGcQ3HTB…

#Steppypants master t.co/ZqxXna5Zu…

“You’re born alone, and you die alone. The value of the space in between is trust and love.” - Louise Bourgeois

“Here’s a photo of everyone with a double chin from laughing so hard. So many good looking… t.co/5hzrDcW40… t.co/98GnDNOXL…

Old white football guy/s do another stupid thing. It’s almost a trope, unfortunately it’s reality.

2 things I know for sure, that our flight will always be at the furtherest away gate, &amp; our luggage will always be the last on the carousel.

“Here’s a photo of everyone with a double chin from laughing so hard” - Mitchell &amp; Hannah 📷 Jessie Dains t.co/Bfc2GkEqr…

I love all this “respect for women” stuff like its a new top 40 album all the AFL leaders are really digging right now.

⚡️ “It’s the remix to ignition, AusVotes edition!”

t.co/Q1YUK8KaA…

Getting married in Byron Bay? I know a guy t.co/BW2zblGBN…

For her last column in the @BigIssue, @HelenRazer goes out on a high - a really great column, H, I’m certain of it. t.co/Y5Tq9i8aW…

Boats: the 90s pop stars of #auspol

“We are in our 50’s and feel we have finally met the love of our lives in each other but a wedding day just seem…” t.co/dy4m5YkrR…

Faux-New York City makes me really miss New York City! t.co/hsKTSA5I9… t.co/fqxOVI3ab…

Yasss! David just got their tickets to Who Cares Wins!! Gets yours at t.co/Ugy8u3MyL…

Yasss! Justine just got their tickets to Who Cares Wins!! Gets yours at t.co/Ugy8u3MyL…

Yasss! Katelyn just got their tickets to Who Cares Wins!! Gets yours at t.co/Ugy8u3uXm…

This is amazing technology. How does @win_tv know my favourite shows!!? t.co/XG5ZY9xed…

Craig and Lisa #marriedbyjosh 📽 Whitedress Productions 🏠 Osteria t.co/CjrIjD6Sy…

“If reading Twitter makes you upset, but you still want to be able to broadcast the details of your juice cleanse” t.co/bIxafrHiv…

I’m starting a charity that will rescue the people that contribute film mistakes to @IMDb. Please donate. t.co/K2ZmaBYll…

“We have been together for 22 years, and have been engaged for nearly 13 years and have taken a backward step to…” t.co/dy4m5YC3f…

More laughter, less every single other thing ever. [Gavin + Robyn #marriedbyjosh photographed by Aaron Shum] t.co/0L5vF8zPo…

The Yarra Valley, Australia’s Microsoft Windows XP desktop wallpaper t.co/PPDGZY4ls…

What is it like to hire Josh Withers? t.co/wZ99bOmVr…

The day of reckoning has come: I have just received a booking from another Joshua Withers. I finally get to marry me!

I’m open to blog post ideas - anything you’d like help with that I could write about?

“we’ve always known we were forever so we never really set a date, we couldnt really afford a wedding for the am…” t.co/dy4m5YC3f…

Anyone know Berlin? Is Friedrichstrasse a good place to stay?

When it’s ok to send me that email t.co/NZP3em0Uv…

This afternoon we took an amazing opportunity to be shot by @jeshderox, @edpeers, &amp; @gabem… t.co/mqGGiwBRM… t.co/uLBZHPNlc…

Dear Australian banks, imagine the awesomeness of emoticons in direct debit references/messages. IMAGINE IT!

This weekend is the @byronbayweddingfair!! See you there Saturday &amp; Sunday 📷 @storiesbyash… t.co/E6WiXGF0s… t.co/9fMXLTEuA…

“Thank you so much for making our rained out/washed out/sweaty marriage ceremony one we’ll… t.co/dwbwG4y0W… t.co/5UYHC3w7A…

A&amp;J eloped in secret, so here’s J’s florals by She’s A Wildflower instead of a photo of them 🌺🎉😁💯 t.co/zirMHgZvh…

Yasss! Sam just got their tickets to Who Cares Wins!! Gets yours at t.co/Ugy8u3MyL…

Ian and Irene #marriedbyjosh t.co/IrH2IliRJ…

Brisbane business peeps! Have you got your tickets to my next seminar on business systems and automations? t.co/qcaBXb1cL…

#NameyMcNameFace I’d like to think my vote helped t.co/kUlKjTpg9…

Funny story about a mid-70s family that invented a sibling to shape US television ratings for the better t.co/Yjxrl34jS…

Where did you meet your bride/groom/husband/wife?

Vas and Felicia #marriedbyjosh t.co/XWxiklTOh… t.co/z4kVgD43F…

Vas and Felicia #marriedbyjosh t.co/XWxiklTOh… t.co/m5WNdU6c9…

Vas and Felicia #marriedbyjosh t.co/XWxiklTOh… t.co/mEuB67otj…

Vas and Felicia #marriedbyjosh t.co/XWxiklTOh… t.co/qsslgzzEW…

Vas and Felicia #marriedbyjosh t.co/XWxikmbp8… t.co/SxWIwjfvL…

I love the Internet t.co/V9gcnLLC3…

… endless newbie is the new default for everyone, no matter your age or experience" - Kevin Kelly, The Inevitable

“Most of the important technologies that will dominate life 30 years from now have not yet been invented …

26 people ahead of me. I might just finish the book I just started

Home on the Gold Coast, for a few seconds, for a haircut, reading Kevin Kelly’s ‘The Inevitable’ while I wait t.co/rbEER8Y4K…

Plan for a successful marriage, not a successful wedding. Id you do that yo’ll have a successful wedding automatically.

“Love is better than no love, though it can hurt so much.” - Iris Murdoch

Any programmy type people willing to point me in the right direction to make this a thing? t.co/Q3k60Ln3C…

Brisbane business peeps! Have you got your tickets to my next seminar on business systems and automations? t.co/qcaBXbiNC…

This is true, but I’m hoping to avoid the fraud title and the panic attacks t.co/3mukEnHeY…

I would argue that if you’re not taking a risk for love, then you’re possibly not loving. Take a risk for your favourite person today.

“Behind every complaint there is a deep personal longing” - John Gottman. What is your spouse longing for from you?

“No one else will have the same wedding as us as you made it an original!” - Courtney &amp; Shaun t.co/3lsg6mZdx…

Tara and Will #marriedbyjosh t.co/x6bE9IrIk…

Did you choose your wedding photographer based on price or photos?

With the power given to me by Facebook, I pronounce you your partner’s cheerleader.

“Please kiss whatever part of you you can reach for me” - John Cage t.co/dy85jtthZ…

Dani + Jake #marriedbyjosh at @theungasan #uluwatu #bali #baliwedding #balicelebrant #theu… t.co/zGBYwfpt4… t.co/81k0tQv8x…

“We found each other later in life , soul mates we also are having a baby that is a miricle as is wasnt possible…” t.co/dy4m5YC3f…

Danielle &amp; Jake // Bali t.co/lmfVONYzz… t.co/Lxd5eBPZL…

I think I could get used to being a #baliwedding #celebrant #balicelebrant #bali t.co/OsQ0I6E38… t.co/F0jQQhDs3…

Bali // today’s office 🌺 t.co/cU3XNSvjp… t.co/mtWDPMcru…

True friends Snapchat filter you when you’re on TV t.co/0CwbvWUlO…

Brisbane business peeps! Have you got your tickets to my next seminar on business systems and automations? t.co/qcaBXb1cL…

“Love is better than no love, though it can hurt so much.” - Iris Murdoch

Does your partner know how you like to be kissed? Send them a txt now letting them know.

Rebecca and Simon #marriedbyjosh t.co/QlvkOZUwq…

“Without music, life would be a mistake” - Nietzsche

Who’s playing the music at your wedding?

Apparently everyone is thinking of @siracusa today t.co/PIkTlPSJA…

Lauren &amp; Samantha #marriedbyjosh t.co/uV5jLi6VL…

“We want to get married on MAD because we want to be married but the idea of a wedding and the complexities of o…” t.co/dy4m5YC3f…

There are a few times left for people to marry for free on #MarriageAmnesty day! t.co/TSzD1BTOR…

“No one else will have the same wedding as us as you made it an original!” - Courtney &amp; Shaun t.co/xy9NEFzCT…

Did you see us in the Collective Hub magazine?! t.co/LEyKoXtiN…

“Because we would rather be married than have a wedding. Because we have family and friends all over Australia,…” t.co/dy4m5YC3f…

I’m Bali bound for Jake &amp; Danielle’s wedding at Uluwatu!

Last time I was there Matt &amp; Meg… t.co/a8S30Gyfj… t.co/XXSHg2C1G…

How to elope, step three: @heartandcolour makes sweet sweet art of your lovely faces!

#el… t.co/n1eQ23bOR… t.co/00iEEhjJo…

How to elope, step two: @joshuawithers from @elopementcollective encourages you that marri… t.co/rZGxDRGSF… t.co/oySgh88FC…

How to elope, step one: @hellobrittanyjane from @elopementcollective finds you a one-in-a-… t.co/Qj83jvZos… t.co/zifgGMZlZ…

“You hate travelling with kids don’t you mum!?” says the excited and well-informed knee-high human to her mother as we board the 6hr flight.

My favourite words come from the mouths of babes:

“I love my fiance and want to marry her, we both have tried to plan a wedding but we both dont like the idea of …” t.co/dy4m5YC3f…

So much love

Saying goodbye to #aggiewithers and #steviewithers for the week t.co/ujxz3ed8x…

“its everything we want for a wedding” t.co/WSc1AwbIq…

“Been engaged over 20 years Couldnt be bothered with the bullshit of a wedding 😄” t.co/WSc1AwbIq…

“We want to get married but would never be able to afford a wedding. Plus we dont want the hassle of having to i…” t.co/dy4m5YC3f…

Damn it …. I know I would :( t.co/JILG0AWJh…

Part of me is glad every day when i see him still alive, sticking it to 2Day FM simply by breathing air.

As confronting as that is, what a sad state of affairs for a radio station, and a talent, to be in. Waiting for a win in the obituaries.

A Southern Cross Austereo insider in Sydney has told me that their plan to beat K&amp;J is to just wait for him to die. t.co/mXePBCuxF…

“Just wanted a hassle free wedding. We have both been married before. " t.co/WSc1AwbIq…

“We have been together for 19 years and have two children 7 &amp; 8. Our children would love to see us married and h…” t.co/dy4m5YC3f…

ICYMI: #marriagemanesty day on @TheTodayShow, watch now on @Channel9 @9Jumpin t.co/PTPjUoOoP…

Yasss! Jashan just got their tickets to Who Cares Wins!! Gets yours at t.co/Ugy8u3MyL…

“We have been engaged for 3 years &amp; have been putting off getting married because of the pressures &amp; stresses a …” t.co/dy4m5YC3f…

“We are engaged and our first child is due on the 21st of June 2016, subsequently we’ve had to delay our marriag…” t.co/dy4m5YC3f…

“We spent all our savings on becoming residents after meeting each other in the bush backpacking (both pommies) …” t.co/dy4m5YC3f…

I’m loving the new 360 photos in Facebook - here’s one I took at #burleigh earlier today t.co/1hboLA2Zp… #burleighbeach

“Peter and I would love to be legally marry to confirm our life commitment together. We are overwhelmed with th…” t.co/dy4m5YC3f…

“We have been together for 15 years and want to be married but dont want all the fuss of todays big weddings. Ju…” t.co/dy4m5YC3f…

“Because my partner and I believe in marriage, not just a wedding day. We want it to be just us two- real raw or…” t.co/dy4m5YC3f…

“Due to the struggles of every day life we are really struggling to save the money to afford to get married.” t.co/WSc1AwbIq…

“a no stress wedding is what we want” t.co/WSc1AwbIq…

Yasss! Glenn just got their tickets to Who Cares Wins!! Gets yours at t.co/Ugy8u3MyL…

It’s got nothing to do with money … it’s just that a wedding isn’t for everyone #marriagemanesty t.co/1vtq5zkyj…

Some initially suggested it would be cheap/houso type people - but there are so many people registering that have great jobs from good areas

The most amazing thing about #marriageamensty day is the people it is attracting. They’re right across the spectrum of the population.

“We are the people you described in your post- soul mates who want ro be together foreverand be married- but wit…” t.co/dy4m5YC3f…

“Because we’ve been engaged 7yrs and have 3 beautiful children, but could never afford a wedding😢” t.co/WSc1AwbIq…

“Because we can’t afford the wedding of our dreams unfortunately and desperately want to be together. We believe…” t.co/dy4m5YC3f…

In case you missed me on The Today Show talking about #marriageamnesty t.co/p6Vi9KgQM…

“we wanted a small wedding as we don’t want to whole huge thing about family as we want the day to be about us. …” t.co/dy4m5YC3f…

“WE ARE A MIDDLE AGED COUPLE,THIS IS MY 2ND MARRIAGE AND WE DON’T NEED ALL THE FANFARE OF AN ENORMOUS WEDDING” t.co/WSc1AwbIq…

“my partner and i love eachother very much and have wanted to get married for 3 years. We arent into traditional…” t.co/dy4m5YC3f…

“No stress or too formal” t.co/WSc1AwbIq…

“Fortune favours the brave, 2 beautiful kids and a lush house later, i think its time! Plus its my birthday so h…” t.co/dy4m5YC3f…

“Because we hate the idea of the fuss of a wedding and couldnt afford it anyway, but we have a beautiful daughte…” t.co/dy4m5YC3f…

“Marriage has always been unaffordable for us, even the cost of a marriage certificate is a lot of money for us….” t.co/dy4m5YC3f…

“To begaon life as a married couple” t.co/WSc1AwbIq…

“We have been together 10 years, Adam has been through several medical problems, which means we have had too put…” t.co/dy4m5YC3f…

“This is both our second marriage, and we have been putting this off as we really don’t want to have a big weddi…” t.co/dy4m5YC3f…

I wake up with @TheTodayShow 👌🏼 t.co/ZcVqe1XhZ…

Hopefully I can do better mouth.

With any luck tomorrow at 7:50am I might do a little better.

I’m on air taking about #marriageamnesty &amp; it’s going to be awesome!

The last time I was on @TheTodayShow I broadcast this collection of English my school teachers would be ashamed of. t.co/vUzl8W7S5…

Massive thank you to @younghenrys at Newtown for hosting #marriageamnesty day!! t.co/1vtq5zkyj…

Peta &amp; Jeff eloped! #MarriedByJosh with the #elopementcollective &amp; #heartandcolour taking … t.co/ECA6Lphd9… t.co/8BfXbs2MW…

The last time I was on the @TheTodayShow I said “so much good” as if it’s a thing normal people say t.co/iCb4EBusp…

I’m on the @TheTodayShow tomorrow morning at 7:50am talking about the #marriageamnesty t.co/1vtq5zkyj…

Consider this your official tease: The Today Show, Friday, 7:55am.

#nottheonion t.co/tP9t40uiH…

Waze is rockin' the suburbs, just like Michael Jackson did, but with traffic, instead of music t.co/ElNfNMyrM…

How to know if you should marry someone: if you’re sad that you can’t just call them to sa… t.co/743ltYAxs… t.co/QOrbrG16Z…

#MotelMexicola, a great place to down tacos like a mad man, a@d to make out with your new … t.co/K6m9Xu68g… t.co/QrgnQJ2vI…

It’d be totes awe if anyone shared the link around to some people that might benefit from a day of #marriageamnesty t.co/hN78FyvJU…

And a few news orgs have poked around and had a look at it

I haven’t convinced a venue/cafe/something to let me host it somewhere yet, so at this point it might happen in Hyde Park or similar?

Things are going crazy on the #marriageamnesty front: photographers are flying to Sydney, and driving from across Sydney to shoot the day!

Step 4) Reinforce the reason why I’d never made a purchase on @Kogan before today. Nice company, @ruslankogan ✌🏼

Step 3) Deny @Qantas frequent flyer points to new @kogan customers t.co/lci7P5xvZ…

Step 2) Delay asking for @qantas frequent flyer number until after payment

Evidence @Kogan t.co/XX9RDjze7…

Kogan marketing: Step 1) offer a 10 @Qantas points per dollar spent to lure in new customers

I tried paying with my phone today, and looked like even more of an idiot than I normally would using Apple Pay.

I lost my Phone in Bali last week, I’ve been using an old iPhone in between insurance claims etc, &amp; the feature I miss the most: #ApplePay

The last “most adult thing” ever was also with my accountant. I ought to stop seeing him. He’s probably the reason I’m going grey.

I’m currently scheduling a tax-planning meeting with my accountant, topping the “most adult thing I’ve ever done” list.

“We have been engaged for 4 years and have 3 kids. Our lives are pretty busy so we really like the idea of a has…” t.co/dy4m5YC3f…

10 points if you can name this wall.

Matt &amp; Megan #marriedbyjosh with the @elopementcolle… t.co/5I4FaQML1… t.co/zruCwWADE…

Matt &amp; Megan #marriedbyjosh in Bali last week with @elopementcollective and @heartandcolou… t.co/SgoPZ2A0e… t.co/7LcY9iQyY…

Oh, hey there @whitemagazine contributors! #lovemywhitemag t.co/jUl5fuHrV… t.co/nHv727OwK…

Register for the #marriageamnesty for free at t.co/RNqeuELo2…

I’m proclaiming September 24, 2016, a day of marriage amnesty, a pardon for everyone that wants to be married, but a wedding has stopped you

The best thing about tonight is realising there’s a Twitter bot that auto-liked tweets that mention thought leader.

Every Monday night I realise I completely missed #qanda by living life outside of the outragesphere again.

Yasss! Dee just got their tickets to Who Cares Wins!! Gets yours at t.co/Ugy8u3MyL…

Can’t wait to be back in #Bali for Danielle &amp; Jaje’s wedding next week!

Here’s a sneak pe… t.co/Gdn85azOG… t.co/aSsL2TDE2…

“I’ve been with the father of my 3 children for 24 yrs &amp; have never been able to afford it” t.co/RNqeuELo2… #marriageamnestyday

Between the waves, cars, and planes crashing in Burleigh today, it’d be a great place to get dinner tonight, so many free carparks.

ABC New: car on fire in Burleigh. 9News: A plane has crashed at Burleigh.

“After being together for 23 years and 3 grown children money has always got in the way.so this will gove ius no…” marriedbyjosh.c

“Steve and I have been engaged for 5 yrs now, the only thing delaying the marriage is how overwhelming a wedding is” t.co/974JQWltL…

I wrote a thing sharing awkward truths about Britt for @WHITEMagazine - read at t.co/aAF3514uS…

“We’ve been together for nearly 4 yrs and in that time our little family has grown to 6!” t.co/974JQWltL… #marriageamnestyday

“We have been so busy with our two beautiful daughters 1 &amp; 3 years old that we havent been able to plan a wedding!” t.co/974JQWltL…

Anyone with the email for Kyle and Jackie O’s producers?

The public eye sucks balls quite a lot. What that statement is true, it’s also seemingly where I’ve made my bed.

K&amp;A wanted to get married but planning their wedding was getting out of control, and it tu… t.co/BJsyTE58f… t.co/WgFMk28xN…

Who would have thought that so many people needed a day of amnesty for getting married t.co/RNqeuELo2… is getting busy!

I’ll marry as many people as I can at no cost, all for the power of love and the love of marriage. Register for free t.co/974JQWltL…

If you have been “meaning to”, or “wanting to” get married but a wedding has been standing in the way, September 24 in Sydney is your day.

Launch time!!! I’m proclaiming September 24 as marriage amnesty day.

Do I sound desperate?

Any cafe at all in Sydney?

Somewhere for me to sit, with a laptop plugged into power, and sign the paperwork for a tonne of people to get married for free

I was originally thinking a wedding venue or something, but they’re all full on Saturdays already … so just a cafe might be awesome

What is Marriage Amnesty Day? t.co/ppuZdQ3f8…

Trying to find a place to host Marriage Amnesty Day on September 24, a Saturday

Sydney help needed: does anyone know a cafe owner somewhere around Sydney city/inner west/east/something like that?

How to complete the ‘Notice of Intention To Marry’ form, the NOIM: t.co/3GyA3yuYR… via @YouTube

FIL does’t realise his Pandora internet radio uses the internet …. this is 2016 for sons-in-law

Yasss! Jake just got their tickets to Who Cares Wins!! Gets yours at t.co/Ugy8u3MyL…

“My darling Alastair, you are the most stubborn person I know. No one can make you do anyt… t.co/pGfy9Kr3z… t.co/wBz5ZC7fU…

Brisbane “Who Cares Wins” workshop tickets now launched :)

t.co/OB5mzUfMT…

When you get your first #AppleWatch and you’re pretty stoked with life t.co/nyk0PKeGr…

No-one else knows they eloped!! #MarriedByJosh #Bali #elopementcollective #balielopement #… t.co/eU1o4tSYQ… t.co/FTHxOCydd…

Should we call Olympic Park? t.co/aQvEHZJ7g…

So, in summary: September 24 in Sydney, free marriages for everyone, consider it one big massive free pop-up wedding

Details etc all to come … just thought I’d put a date in anyone’s calendar

No cost, just eternal, unconditional love for some other human 🤘🏻

Because a marriage is wayyyy better than a wedding

So on September 24 in Sydney, I’m going to marry anyone and everyone I am legally allowed to.

Thanks to @MolksTVTalk and @BYoungBris for the word help

They asked me to donate my services they had paid for to someone else, and I thought, why not go one step further: a day of Marriage amnesty

One of my couples in Sydney have just called off their wedding, because despite wanting to be married, the wedding was too much. So ….

Which isn’t really describing it well …

It’s a word to describe a day, or event, where everyone can be forgiven or atoned, kind of - like a day where a service is free for a day

Any word nerds able to help me remember the word I’m trying to think of?

Vows exchanged in the loveliest storm drain in Brisbane t.co/FchadQRxw…

Seat frog - a new service that will let you find out about last minute airline upgrades t.co/vfnjVu6XJ…

If only because 1) if I was going to make a dick of myself, this is what it would look like, and 2) I do love Bali

I hope that 1 day in the inevitable future when I make a dick of myself, the journalists trawling Twitter find this t.co/F1bLGc15I…

And it’s always just lovely to see your country on the front page of the @nytimes t.co/qjZgIch6o…

The best part about being in Bali on a Monday is that you get to read the Sunday newspapers freshly ironed, off last night’s flights.

Bali bound for some destination marriage creation! t.co/u7dFpbl2s…

If you look back through my photos you’ll notice there’s something fairly different about … t.co/89lL6z64o… t.co/kgWqMO01r…

Is there an Australian ISP that runs a reliable network over NBN?

iiNet before then was great but peak times saw iiNet suffer.

I’ve been trialling Skymesh as an NBN provider for three months and their average speed is not great, and worse during peak times.

Sky mesh is disappointing me as an NBN provider? It’s supposed to be 100/40 #speedtest t.co/3zFyquqAw…

Caitlyn’s bouquet was unique in that it had its own postcode.

Blooms by @bouquetboutique. t.co/t3d9shGoq… t.co/JPPFkN0g6…

Fraser says she stalked him.

Caitlyn says he was her ‘work husband.’ Four years on, they … t.co/dVt17GtxF… t.co/2RJNgh8zb…

Caitie and Tim found me my new favourite neckwear! A metal “bow tie” to say thanks for cre… t.co/geX39f3y3… t.co/HltAp8NGH…

Never leave home without Waze t.co/ukROVD7fD…

Anyone been to Bali since March 21 this year? Apparently VISAs are free now? t.co/O4p0BRze9…

Repost from @joshuawithers.gif, my personal not-so-much-about weddings Instagram

Brisbane… t.co/m6xB1Wm9R… t.co/mzEl0XA7h…

I’m at the @startupcreative event at @warehouseno5 tonight hearing from the creatives behi… t.co/4a3U73Dkt… t.co/77NftbCKb…

Cameron promised to love Susan’s kitchen appliances, Susan promised to love his projects #… t.co/WPtUruMXS… t.co/p2Q2mHuvH…

Over ten years ago, after one fateful night at the Manly Hotel, Dan and Aleena thought the… t.co/6OC1BJk5q… t.co/x9l8NkXJF…

Jamie and Di’s big truck of love … and wedding vows 🚚 😍 t.co/ofCtuVU3F…

Big mac truck wedding vows going out to t.co/EDtbRs4u0… subscribers in 3, 2, 1 honk t.co/XsDj1aUuM…

I’m glad we got to save the $41k …

We’re lucky enough to only use credit cards for the points, not for the credit. This is for a statement of $1,851.46 t.co/cgDqB5LiV…

It’s amazing how many undesired email lists I am on … I must unsubscribe from 5-10 per day and still there are more.

Nothing like a visit to the Red Cross Blood Service to remind me how boring my life is #save3lives t.co/c4XbcNvl1…

I think I need to start seeing other airports

Realising the watching the sunset over Sydney airport is the most romantic thing to happened to me recently, is quite sad

#inspiration t.co/kdPtd843n…

Does anyone need me to marry them in Hawaii soon? Should I renew my license there? 😁🌴😎 t.co/h012oA36U… t.co/VkjE3Hcpd…

I lead a #whocareswins business workshop today!! I think I did pretty good 🤘🏼 t.co/T57V9RlJj… t.co/KRGEer7Ys…

8:30pm on a Summer day in Wanaka // Eb &amp; DJ #marriedbyjosh with @elopementcollective, @hea… t.co/IF1lemIoi… t.co/4Zh4hUpCn…

Is that a thing?

So I have my MacBook and a second display, I don’t want to mirror displays, but I do want to mirror a web browser

Attention all nerds: is there a way to present, in the way you would Keynote or Powerpoint slides, a web browser?

Cameron &amp; Susan #marriedbyjosh at @kenilworthhomestead! #kenilworth #celebrant #marriagece… t.co/L2aBOH3hq… t.co/aubzOlFmU…

Chris + Bridget #marriedbyjosh! t.co/VnA2SUu70… t.co/uy0jKzS4s…

Doing my part for #NameAndroidN t.co/N5apDZL6l…

Yess! Angela just got their tickets to Who Cares Wins!! Gets yours at t.co/AfNhnxXnX…

You know the saying, “always the celebrant, never the bride” 📷 @michaelbriggsphotography 💐… t.co/r3hv67SjO… t.co/iGhEKLvdf…

A secret elopement off the #greatoceanroad yesterday with the #elopementcollective @michae… t.co/eoMmasoWm… t.co/Gk7FPHPcD…

A man-child marries his Maltese Princess t.co/PbGaQIWK4…

Squad goal: waterfall selfie with my Melbourne peeps 🤘🏼 @ Erskine Falls, Lorne t.co/lGJa93vbq…

S&amp;A #marriedbyjosh in a secret #elopement off the #greatoceanroad in #Victoria today with … t.co/9zU3IVHQt… t.co/4SJaBOG0b…

I’ve lost my sunglasses. My eyes are going around the twist. Have you ever, ever felt like this? t.co/pnzvjEBV0…

Tyre: 0; Josh: 1.

My fear today was that after not changing a tyre in about 15 years that I’d… t.co/niJdaAUqi…

Yay! @ The Princes Freeway t.co/rjzzw37S7…

“Josh is the greatest celebrant ever!!! James &amp; I had the best day of our lives thanks to … t.co/ks0qDEWfL… t.co/SCX02nXTr…

Thanks, video.

It feels like video didn’t kill the radio star, it just hurt us a little bit. Like it hit our funny bone.

Almost every time I fly through Gold Coast airport I see another old friend that I used to work in radio with.

Flying to Melbourne … the big question is, why not in bed?

Always the celebrant, never the bride @ Purlingbrook Waterfall, Springbrook National Park t.co/sjxYnPIqN…

Renee &amp; Michael #marriedbyjosh with the #elopementcollective @heartandcolour &amp; @wilde.visu… t.co/uMZx1UZcD… t.co/vmxcMuZof…

Werk, werk, werk @ Purling Brook Falls t.co/gpojQByYu…

Michael &amp; Renee #marriedbyjosh in Springbrook! #theta360 t.co/3M2kdMcuY…

Practising parenthood with the Little Rogg this morning. It’s ok to give them just a single shot… t.co/thjqkRHdy…

#GeneSimmons impersonator + James + Amanda #marriedbyjosh + photographed by @milquephotogr… t.co/bTn8UTgaL… t.co/l9vliUVFY…

Gene Simmons impersonator + James + Amanda #marriedbyjosh &amp; photographed by @milquephotogr… t.co/wVVycm70p… t.co/27CasVa57…

This Sunday in Sydney I’m running my #whoCaresWins workshop for the first time! t.co/fpobT6a6F… t.co/85IbG4523…

Who Cares Wins Workshop: t.co/ARiwKNSk5… via @YouTube

Trying out a new #barber today, which is much like trialling a new wife. It’s probably nothing… t.co/pmVU8Plxc…

Although it was completely unnecessary, Brooke and Dave got me a box to stand on. Thanks g… t.co/YGga6julh… t.co/4mvMnYsDC…

Chris Hutchinson at Hilltop on Tamborine with Josh Withers in 360: t.co/3GQs4qSVa… via @YouTube

As cliched as that sounds, that’s literally what I hope for✌

… my marriage ceremonies would inspire couples to create awesome marriages that lead healthy communities into a better tomorrow.

Tonight I’m reading @TEDchris’s brand new #TedTalksbook. I’m not planning on delivering a TED talk anytime soon but I’d hope my …

Someone asked me recently how I stay sharp as a celebrant.

The main answer is that I read, well, I try to read. t.co/qwqbgCOcB…

The family falls apart over UNO @ Kooralbyn Valley t.co/nNCCsHrSi…

The phat sushi controller @ Master Sushi t.co/isbNV47dQ…

Jamie &amp; Di #marriedbyjosh at @braeside_goldcoast!

#goldcoastcelebrant #goldcoastwedding t.co/9TVGNmfab… t.co/JODwYHJcT…

Chris &amp; Sarah #marriedbyjosh! t.co/hE4len1kj… t.co/d0cNULd0B…

Scott &amp; Pela #marriedbyjosh with the @elopementcollective, @fifthavenueflorist &amp; @aaronshu… t.co/4GHKuWauj… t.co/T5vZOPat3…

Werk, werk, werk, werk, werk @ Wategos Beach t.co/CuIRpYvQH…

Today // Holey bowtie @ Feather and Docks t.co/6wszN2xE6…

Today // Becoming a pirate @ Feather and Docks t.co/qB5OLFF8g…

“Do you have a favourite couple?” people ask me often. I can only answer honestly, the las… t.co/7ZIIerWc0… t.co/nvzM4SjTn…

Had way too much fun last night #lovemywhitemag t.co/tJ7dyBqno… t.co/YxrWHglsL…

Nothing suss #loveiskindoflove @ District 01 t.co/CdgN3qBkV…

Britt &amp; I celebrated the relaunch of my favourite magazine tonight: White Magazine, now in… t.co/XzYypwnov… t.co/eOIMpg5GJ…

Today.

Jade + Lewis #mariedbyjosh with the #elopementcollective @michaelbriggsphotograph… t.co/WuYbmuU4V… t.co/wasDWzJR9…

Almost every location @popupwed sends me to includes some kind of scribbled warning like this. @… t.co/mmoGvI9Su…

“We just wanted something for us” - Jade &amp; Lewis as @michaelbriggsphotography, @redearthfl… t.co/nxaYtnnya… t.co/Coji7gKpC…

Lewis &amp; Jade #marriedbybyjosh in an amazing #YarraValley #elopement with the @elopementcol… t.co/OH588O0Hw… t.co/00NjDycwf…

My office today is cooler than yours #theta360 t.co/R492rmDjt…

Working out of the @redearthflowers #YarraValleyWeddingHub studios today with @michaelbrig… t.co/h4LRZzjEp… t.co/6V1BoASEz…

Craig + Lisa + confetti cannon + awesome wedding vows! t.co/yTX0XmqNl…

Clicking send on Craig and Lisa’s vows soon! Subscribe the free weekly “other people’s vows” email at t.co/EDtbRs4u0…

When you think you left your phone at home and turn around but realise it’s actually in your… t.co/H7g6pYLSI…

No-one call @MolksTVTalk - #gameofthrones is on and apparently no-one is supposed to call at that time.

I’m constantly impressed/surprised at @TripIt having @Qantas delays minutes and sometimes hours ahead of QF.

I spent some time last night sorting through files, trying to clear up some space on my Ma… t.co/tmq69y4gl… t.co/vhRWJDlSP…

Craig + Lisa #marriedbyjosh, confetti cannon by Craig, photographed by @stewartross at @os… t.co/lDboN5OCf… t.co/AeyJnC0lm…

#RetroRoo @ Brisbane Domestic Airport t.co/pA4Sm56Bb…

Take me home Jetstar. I’m sick, also tired.

Rey wasn’t there to give Luke Skywalker a lightsaber. She was there to give him a voice. Sing it out, Luke! t.co/SnFfaX5gl…

Look who I stumbled over in the Hunter Valley! @ Lindemans Wines t.co/eLkgzxvqs…

Bryce &amp; Lauren #marriedbyjosh and the guy in the back? He’s #confusedbyjosh 😁 #macewedding… t.co/5Q20H8RQm… t.co/NSr4VwOLK…

The emergency supplies draw at #chateauelan - I’ve got my microphone, tissues, holy water,… t.co/lOO5xPM1g… t.co/AAW4qY2Tk…

Travers &amp; Jo #marriedbyjosh in Nambour today! t.co/DARK8ZZLe… t.co/qN5OgpMns…

Fun game: guess how late this Jetstar flight can be delayed.

Good morning, Brisbane! @ Brisbane Airport t.co/jefDk4pSQ…

Nigel &amp; Debbie #marriedbyjosh at the @elopementcollective’s #perthpopupwedding at the #kid… t.co/KARPFvw3T… t.co/AAQSVOKiW…

Stevie &amp; Adam #marriedbyjosh at the @elopementcollective’s #perthpopupwedding at the #kido… t.co/4ESzYls5t… t.co/HcyXV2Ig2…

Butch &amp; Jac #marriedbyjosh at the @elopementcollective’s #perthpopupwedding at the #kidogo… t.co/YdnubpFKZ… t.co/kb1KRBIoA…

Erik &amp; Elske #marriedbyjosh at the @elopementcollective’s #perthpopupwedding at the #kidog… t.co/x0kN05odT… t.co/hcedBdM9U…

Matt &amp; Amy #marriedbyjosh at the @elopementcollective’s #perthpopupwedding at the #kidogoa… t.co/DrUwv31s3… t.co/w12qqTxTA…

David &amp; Kate #marriedbyjosh at the @elopementcollective’s #perthpopupwedding at the #kidog… t.co/V1VPHww1O… t.co/AMBc6sT0L…

Randall &amp; Fiona #marriedbyjosh at the @elopementcollective’s #perthpopupwedding at the #ki… t.co/gQ3AGKX1L… t.co/11fu4QpLh…

Lachlan &amp; Crystal #marriedbyjosh at the @elopementcollective’s #perthpopupwedding at the #… t.co/9rTR5iJLa… t.co/YI6IL6wmv…

The new deck at the Kidogo Arthouse, shot by Josh Withers #theta360 t.co/iKPtwfFHq…

More like, 5pm Oil.

These two kids are going west. See you soon Perth! t.co/sfRtuS66s… t.co/4S6SztKgH…

Perth bound! t.co/ukRvN9ewV…

Amy and Te Ana’s love t.co/f2jfkiDPW…

“Vote yes to Josh and his Celebrant greatness!

Josh married my wife and I in the most non… t.co/BjOQbxs7D… t.co/bEjG3yNs1…

Mark &amp; Rochelle #marriedbyjosh in an awesome #townsvillewedding on their own property, a g… t.co/UyI9BKeXO… t.co/HDQ99xirp…

Hey everyone, come to our engagement party! Boom! We’re married ✌🏻️ that’s how you do it! … t.co/oiPWPdIpj… t.co/oLdCoRTX7…

Chris &amp; Leanne #marriedbyjosh at their engagement party! Working with my crew today: @pack… t.co/sw8D4T5e9… t.co/ma9vD2mhg…

All you need to know @ The Golden Pig Food and Wine School t.co/hiHk6aqSH…

Marriage: a union worth celebrating!

Claire &amp; Corey #marriedbyjosh with @heartandcolour c… t.co/9zZ6XSNKV… t.co/Ftc1cxAmj…

Lots of love to @jamesdayweddings for getting what I’m all about! Can’t wait until Port Do… t.co/VWKUG6Y4p… t.co/vjpNfoljA…

The greatest transcript in New Zealand legal history. NSFW language, gloriously so. t.co/2INbk1umQ…

Now my PA System rides in Pelican style. Come at me, baggage-handlers! t.co/qFNZRccWW…

I love sunsets.

In the sunset I see a day ending, a new day soon to begin. The earth, sun, and… t.co/bMDYW4tvm…

How have I not heard a girl walk down an aisle to this song yet? ♫ t.co/fmsa9Q8QG…

Josh &amp; Natalie #marriedbyjosh at the #ewingsdalehall in #byronbay for the #byronbaypopupwe… t.co/VevnLG3en… t.co/NHGRcgO1g…

We worked hard today on #byronbaypopupwedding @ Ewingsdale Hall t.co/p5KEBh9mQ…

Jing &amp; Jenny #marriedbyjosh at the #byronbaypopupwedding at #ewingsdalehall #byronbayceleb… t.co/wt2s0B5qt… t.co/LN4ZJXHpw…

James &amp; Anissa #marriedbyjosh at the #byronbaypopupwedding at #ewingsdalehall #popupweddin… t.co/rl2Mg8PEv… t.co/8zBnuv1fc…

Barry &amp; Alicia #marriedbyjosh at the #byronbaypopupwedding at #ewingsdalehall!

#elopement… t.co/pKa1JjTfW… t.co/F4SRoTaef…

Tom &amp; Melinda #marriedbyjosh at the #byronbaypopupwedding at #ewingsdalehall #popupwedding… t.co/wwi4tVnlP… t.co/kNeoqCvJu…

Getting prepped for my creatives and wedding vendors in business workshop on May 22 in Syd… t.co/DMAD3lExb… t.co/ogzfhFIAs…

Kirsten &amp; Scott #marriedbyjosh photographed by @heartandcolour t.co/mv2hJzRF5… t.co/Ps7rlYyco…

Ma baby is off to hospital 🤕😢 t.co/M0cs5AI9G…

I’m really judgemental on gifts. Not on price or value, but whether or not the gifter thou… t.co/reECqULcx… t.co/I0MnAOy79…

My face when my 360 camera falls over t.co/T0tmkayf0…

“If you stick your tongue out it gets salty!!!” - Britt @ Byron Bay, New South Wales t.co/XSO1wql4z…

Wording up Perth’s @kissmeyoufool_dilhari on what’s about to happen. We’ll all get on a bo… t.co/3esPTZnmn… t.co/fDa7akzun…

The Airbus A380 is a sexy collection of metal #emirates @ Melbourne International Airport (MEL) t.co/uzsSaS8a8…

How will driverless cars maker my job as a marriage celebrant easier? t.co/n3axf2HqC…

#TomTom has a cooler 360 camera than me t.co/wotsp9XE0…

That new flower feeling t.co/5oCn6zMUp… t.co/hZ3D9NKUi…

Katie &amp; Jorge #marriedbyjosh! t.co/yp0NZQf3G… t.co/hRfrA7fLb…

Kate &amp; Jorg #marriedbyjosh #theta360 t.co/xWD3dGhoX…

Most awkward coffee a man’s ever drunk.

Awkward cafe would rather give me a free coffee than let me pay for it because they have an EFTPOS minimum.

Freakin epic elopement!

Ian &amp; Irene #marriedbyjosh t.co/GFuM2EIEU… t.co/aiVUiBvjg…

I frikkin love me some flowers t.co/LE2uuPvsH…

I LOVE FLOWERS

📷 @bekgrace_ @ Blue Mountains National Park, Wentworth Falls t.co/P5jlcJunL…

Wow!

Ian &amp; Irene #marriedbyjosh with the #elopement collective of @heartandcolour &amp; @wild… t.co/lZMGMM1h7… t.co/P0QEdbDgf…

“An honorable human relationship — that is, one in which two people have the right to use … t.co/vchMx4d1v… t.co/MNPLKViNy…

Amy &amp; Te Ana #civillypartneredbyjosh (thanks for the civil partnerships, @AnnastaciaMP) t.co/TebHO9Xn3…

2 girls getting hitched today, although they want a marriage, they can only get a civil partnership 💩 so we’ll sign t.co/wMglILQkz…

How epic can an #elopement be? This epic. Created by @elopementcollec t.co/m3YwODRGt… &amp; vid by Wilde Visual. t.co/dKZuqzBth…

Ian &amp; Irene #marriedbyjosh with the #elopementcollective in the #bluemountains t.co/j2gv4Qyji… t.co/PRNWl1IC8…

Ian &amp; Irene #marriedbyjosh #theta360 t.co/O9WLEGsiA…

Yess! Shani just got their tickets to Who Cares Wins!! Gets yours at t.co/AfNhnxXnX…

Yess! Christian just got their tickets to Who Cares Wins!! Gets yours at t.co/AfNhnxXnX…

The one where we had scotch! “Thank you Josh for helping Phil and I get ‘thoroughly’ marri… t.co/z3vipWPQN… t.co/BKxbgxdWI…

I have t.co/xzEVOkKla… and the full Adobe suite …. and not Office … @Cuff_S any thoughts?

Qld govt has given me a word document “template” that opens terrible, what do you think would be the best way to Mac’ify it?

Let’s have more marriage ceremonies at night, ok?

Master &amp; Doctor Devine’s wedding at @os… t.co/p6cEHLZhz… t.co/WXeALYUnM…

Tracey &amp; Nic #eloped to #SurfersParadise to be #marriedbyjosh &amp; the @elopementcollective a… t.co/NmcX2Ma09… t.co/sLlLGstmw…

What is it like to hire Josh? t.co/X4JwgZXP7…

Apple’s just breathed 8 gigabytes of air into the MacBook Air … hurry and die now won’t you little MacBook Air

I’m feeling really humbled tonight. I’ve got four really special couples that have invited… t.co/DO7r4YXLE… t.co/TETIQKzbh…

Nothing to see here, just family-making // Mel &amp; Don #marriedbyjosh with the @elopementcol… t.co/iaCzO5Jzr… t.co/2jvMH3Nut…

Mel and Andrew’s vows t.co/UzZEeSzWY…

#Telstra, the home of the easy to understand bill where everything costs $0 except for “other” t.co/Vf7nL29qD…

My subconscious even invented an arguably great line: “marriage is like a podcast, everyone has one” @marcoarment @tiffanyarment

I just dreamt that I was the marriage officiant for @marcoarment &amp; @tiffanyarment’s wedding. Dreams are so weird.

When it’s ok to sack me as your celebrant t.co/CKJ5S44G6…

A little thing I wrote for Ruffles &amp; Cake about the demise of the bridal party t.co/KxaHxK7Eo…

Matt &amp; Brooke #eloped! t.co/n4bdKCflH…

Matt &amp; Brooke #eloped! t.co/DW3HQTVMQ…

There is no one correct way to cross the divide and begin a marriage. Some people even que… t.co/ijQ4hwWSl… t.co/oNxjZkgBt…

Not many people know this but 31.48% of my job is just me trying to make jokes with waitin… t.co/TfgBMx6Jf… t.co/SG2N4dRwn…

Live at the chapel

Michael &amp; Lauren #marriedbyjosh photographed by @evernewstudio at @coo… t.co/ritwPvHKP… t.co/HdgCaCCD0…

I’m trying to do something useful, please read this hashtag marketing hashtag digital marketing t.co/sCLyKyWRl…

Is there a Twitter version of a #Googlewhack? #Twitterwhack? t.co/ablyu08e1…

“He’s not perfect. You aren’t either, and the two of you will never be perfect. But if he … t.co/T7xYrbEFo… t.co/ash7fkCRf…

Yess! Julia just got their tickets to Who Cares Wins!! Gets yours at t.co/AfNhnxXnX…

Scott &amp; Kirsten #marriedbyjosh at @osteriaweddings with @heartandcolour @lemontreefilmhous… t.co/XFJOZkqMv… t.co/1SjoPPnSL…

John &amp; Hine #marriedbyjosh on the @pandocruises #pacificdawn before it sets sail for the S… t.co/B7bhvDIkH… t.co/pM2dwdbko…

I’m not sure the guys in marketing thought this one through t.co/UbWjyXZql…

Over the loudspeaker as I board a cruise ship this morning: “on offer today is the Titanic experience” 🛳

“Josh made us feel so relaxed in our wedding ceremony” - Michael &amp; Lauren #marriedbyjosh a… t.co/Oe3SxV2Fl… t.co/IxHCkHoKY…

Prediction: the next “iMac” won’t be called an iMac, it will simply be called “Mac”. There will be the Mac, Mac Pro, MacBook, MacBook Pro

“Absolutely the best - you should stop reading this right now, go to his website and invol… t.co/cVfR6rdPI… t.co/YPGBGM6h0…

“The best - you should stop reading this right now, go to his site &amp; involve Josh in your ceremony.” - Will &amp; Sarah t.co/pgrCax2n2…

Roadside Savlon #gctraffic t.co/uPgDeIbRc…

Roadside Savlon #gctraffic t.co/gUmcf9dIJ… t.co/8wiGaQve5…

Paul &amp; Jackie #marriedbyjosh at #RanchodelCielo #brisbanecelebrant #brisbanewedding #wedd… t.co/92Y24aNpS… t.co/NZaEp4Ka1…

Danni // that guy // Matt // #marriedbyjosh at Terara’s @driftwoodshed near #Nowra #driftw… t.co/hDXjvW8DO… t.co/ztHH1MTY8…

Why is no-one working on driverless motorbikes? #ideasboom

Samantha &amp; Wayde #marriedbyjosh with the @elopementcollective at @thebarnstay with @_emmah… t.co/N7dCvHpsk… t.co/tLA0p0615…

“Josh, just a quick note to thank you for the fantastic job you did for us. There has bee… t.co/148mS9ePx… t.co/RzaZU8uPI…

#boringsquadgoals t.co/tURp21b0F…

“From the very moment I stumbled across Josh’s website, my then fiancé and I knew that Jos… t.co/Qc8K603nA… t.co/iQgEyrAnA…

Fair warning for tonight’s social media content: my neighbours at the @hillstonestlucia we… t.co/89zXKb8or… t.co/G6Y9CxqkI…

#hillstonestlucia wedding open night tonight!

Free entry for humans getting married in #b… t.co/IoSLfDJU8… t.co/V8iLsFth6…

“I get by with a little help from my friends”

Mel &amp; Andrew #marriedbyjosh 📷 #timelesswedd… t.co/tOysbUbQO… t.co/ZqQRNCL4h…

The Old Museum Building wedding open night is tonight from 5:30pm.

You can meet the perso… t.co/xMgXk4s38… t.co/iaNqKxXnf…

Though it really does leave me confused where they would even get fake Koalas from?

Please note that despite being called @KoalaMattress the mattresses are not actually made from real Koalas. I understand they use fake ones.

This is a Koality deal, on behalf of Josh liking products Inc. t.co/ihg13i6CM…

Regardless, Edwards now lives a happy life in Port Macquarie all because we bought a mattress. How ‘bout that!

Our Koala is named Edwards Montana but I don’t think that’s real name because it’s quite an American name for an Australian animal.

Anyway, save $75 by clicking this link and buying a Koala Mattress plus you even get to sponsor a Koala. t.co/ihg13i6CM…

The whole mattress business is a scam all created by Big Mattress, who despite being evil, just want you to sleep more.

Especially considering the whole mattress selling/buying game is a rort and you can’t find the same mattress model in two stores!

Britt and I bought a mattress online and a cranky looking man delivered it, but the mattress being quite fancy is what matters.

When you realise all the beers are not in the fridge t.co/KP2x6Xln9…

Peter &amp; Edita came to Byron Bay, all the way from London to elope on Tallow Beach with … t.co/vIToBB5Ta… t.co/YRmHJkrGM…

Weddings in 2030 … will they be all #OculusRift and liveblogs? t.co/G6NTrKlNB… t.co/wRjHJqQ2d…

all of this is great, but the chat about “OPRs” will change you t.co/ddYSEBLB4… - @oshergunsberg’s podcast with @JackDelosa

Peter &amp; Edita came to Byron Bay, all the way from London to elope on Tallow Beach with mys… t.co/4j4JFQirU… t.co/A45fLBC91…

Take me home Jet2outof5Star t.co/a8zbrtwZ4…

A wee bit sad to be leaving Adelaide today. Phil &amp; Kayley’s wedding really whipped the lla… t.co/4LwKQUdhw… t.co/UQHfZvwuO…

Aus-USA for less than $600 t.co/K5pYmVyls…

If you want sweet sweet Adelaide #burgerporn you follow @pheeeel24 &amp; @kayleyann on Instagr… t.co/WSZadqwc0… t.co/NTpp8FE3y…

Sooo, there’s no #UberX in #Adelaide?!?!

Phil, Kayley &amp; I just drank Scott and got married, thoroughly married. We rocked the cerem… t.co/dmJC972Y7… t.co/7HLlTaNYY…

Ok, help me out with an idea I’m running with for this afternoon’s ceremony: How is a marriage like a burger?

Yesterday in the #HunterValley with the @elopementcollective, @emmahampton @wilde.visual… t.co/rI7t6rM0W… t.co/9wY5X2QGU…

Today in the #HunterValley with the @popupwed, emmahampton wilde.visual @wbarnstay… t.co/D8OGOcSrH…

Yess! Stefania just got their tickets to Who Cares Wins!! Gets yours at t.co/AfNhnxXnX…

Brendan &amp; Kiata #marriedbyjosh at the #huntervalleypopupwedding #popupwedding #huntervalle… t.co/7d2zpLa7q… t.co/qQTNfs9z7…

There goes our Friday! @ Hunter Valley Wine Country t.co/dHIBsMqYG…

Well there goes Friday t.co/iyitn1T1Q… t.co/FkOivBHvW…

Well there goes Friday @ Hunter Valley Wine Country t.co/srHBsreN9…

Ok, stay with me: UberX for singing telegrams.

Our German friend tells me that phrases like “Grammar Nazi” aren’t cool in Germany. I told him to stop being such a Nazi Nazi.

Crazy weekend begins now: GC 🛫 Coogee 🚗 Hunter Valley 🏎 Sydney ✈️ Adelaide 🛩 GC. The coffee better be hot, @Qantas

I’m answering a very common and innocent question on my blog today: how much styling and fu… t.co/OjOMYsLwT… t.co/Y6l4sI6aK…

Tim and Caitie made out like teenagers after they said these words t.co/9GdILVpUJ…

WEOA interviewed me about my new workshop: Who Cares Wins :) t.co/CLo7jK0r0…

Common mistakes people make on the most boring piece of marriage paperwork t.co/wxBNmGwXU… t.co/m2JqaqXPH…

Yess! Sophie just got their tickets to Who Cares Wins!! Gets yours at t.co/AfNhnxXnX…

If you look really carefully and closely at tonight’s #MarriedAtFirstSight you can see me totally not being involved in any which way.

I’ve taken all the fun out of it :) t.co/3w9kXHZk1…

You jump on local hashtags like a kid on a trampoline, especially if there’s a touch of nostalgia. Everyone pass Go #bnemonopolychancecards

You drive through a toll, and pay the toll, but miss the next turn cause you’re still bitching about it #bnemonopolychancecards

It’s State of Origin time, everyone collects $200 #bnemonopolychancecards

You get to the airport without paying a toll, move directly to Go, collect $200 #bnemonopolychancecards

You tune in to @NewsTalk4BC and realise you’re listening to @2GB873, miss a turn #bnemonopolychancecards

You climb the Story Bridge but then realise it’s only the second best bridge climb in Australia, miss a turn #bnemonopolychancecards

You caught a hovercraft to Expo 88, win $1000 #bnemonopolychancecards

You order a coffee and the cafe does have syrups for your Caramel Latte, win $5 #BneMonopolyChanceCards

You win a holiday on XXXX Island, win $200 #BneMonopolyChanceCards

No-one on your CityCat takes a selfie, win $1000 #BneMonopolyChanceCards

You use CityCycle, win $10 #BneMonopolyChanceCards

You call an Uber but Qld Transport questions you. You lie, telling the inspector that Umad is a mate, win $100 #BneMonopolyChanceCards

You catch QF16 back from LAX and it’s not delayed, you win $100 #BneMonopolyChanceCards

it’s NRL Grand Final time and you can support any team based in Queensland, pass go, collect $200 #BneMonopolyChanceCards

You see a cool food idea in NYC and open a restaurant in Brisbane, lose $2000 #BneMonopolyChanceCards

You manage to get yourself in the background of a @sunriseon7 live cross from Kangaroo Point, win $50 #BneMonopolyChanceCards

You survive a whole summer without calling your home insurer, win $1000 #BneMonopolyChanceCards

You hear a suburb pronounced correctly by a Sydney announcer on @NewsTalk4BC, win $200 #BneMonopolyChanceCards

You walk through the Valley after dark and survive. You get to keep on playing. #BneMonopolyChanceCards

Everything good in the world is happening on #BneMonopolyChanceCards right now

Three things about this guy:

  1. he has a personal account without wedding stuff at @joshu… t.co/rR9c1dipT… t.co/gBMiSFQDW…

Seems like a terrible swap unless the watch is a Rolex or the trucks are Tonka. I’m thinking its… t.co/nAWTursNu…

In an effort to get to know my area better, in this morning’s daylight I walked to the post… t.co/ysglATIzB…

Apple Store staff just called the new iPad Pro 9.7" the “iPad 7” … that’s not a thing is it?

Won’t someone think of Christians? #QandA

In 1961 the marriage law had already moved away from church view, the only remaining element is the gender thing #QandA

Go for a walk through a new section of your estate at night, start following an interesting… t.co/IqTaaZbf6…

Go for a walk through a new section of your estate at night, start following an interestin… t.co/riPtOagqI… t.co/4U7yjJtaw…

Go for a walk through a new section of your estate at night, start following an interesting… t.co/oNVzwdMs8…

Yess! Rose just got their tickets to Who Cares Wins!! Gets yours at t.co/AfNhnxXnX…

Home alone for two days, won’t be needing these! t.co/VmDJG91OL…

I just got news today that I have been appointed a “Queensland Civil Partnership Notary” w… t.co/TkBsVrcjU… t.co/XqDySn3ey…

Yess! Jacquelyn just got their tickets to Who Cares Wins!! Gets yours at t.co/AfNhnxXnX…

Yess! Cristina just got their tickets to Who Cares Wins!! Gets yours at t.co/AfNhnxXnX…

Yess! Jazelle just got their tickets to Who Cares Wins!! Gets yours at t.co/AfNhnxXnX…

I’m leading a business workshop in Sydney next month! t.co/1MHbTiPlx… t.co/vQyZFXvJX…

That time I modelled for featheranddocks - seriously, go eat there @ Feather and Docks t.co/64RKZJWWH…

Today’s priorities:

  1. kiss this girl and let her know she’s my number one priority
  2. work my… t.co/OMXwxsfcX…

irmly believe that the only thing I really have to give to my clients, my customers, the p… t.co/VrjB3SVsE… t.co/iNcNEMrCC…

“Hi Josh - thanks so much for bringing some personality to our ceremony. Definetly not the… t.co/uOvJXsbz1… t.co/ZADrcpwAV…

New business workshop launched: caring without burnout.

t.co/Ugy8u3uXm…

Yess! Jim just got their tickets to Who Cares Wins!! Gets yours at t.co/AfNhnxXnX…

Hashtag sumo life @ Prospect Studios t.co/ibXwZBvNy…

Watching a early-twenties girl take her Mercedes through the service station carwash. Dad would be so proud.

Sydney workshop announcement! // Sunday May 22 in Sydney I’m hosting a business workshop f… t.co/HbVcBUIHr… t.co/Kg932rAF4…

Today at #wategosbeach - a #byronbay paperwork-only marriage ceremony with the @elopementc… t.co/7bWyIHYs0… t.co/MrwgFxh5C…

Ben &amp; Belinda flew up from Sydney to be #marriedbyjosh today on #wategosbeach #byronbay!

t.co/uc0VcivaU… t.co/jW8ZCiG0s…

Living the Byron Bay way for the day @ Byron Bay, New South Wales t.co/G7kitdcFm…

Peter and Edita #marriedbyjosh on #tallowbeach #byronbay

#celebrant #marriagecelebrant #w… t.co/pVVpSC0EI… t.co/J83ORAPsc…

Message for Dave @ Tallows t.co/TKyQ5QJLd…

As on point as it would be, seeing a GC Bikie as the Commonwealth Games mascot would be unsettling t.co/PINnWcWTz…

Yes, it’s 1996 in Queensland, and we like it that way.

NSW and Vic: Don’t forget to set your clocks back one hour and 20yrs when you go to sleep tonight so you come back to join us on Qld time.

My nerdism knows no limits :) t.co/zIvJR4gfI…

Will &amp; Sarah #marriedbyjosh t.co/zEXHXiOR2… t.co/0cGppqAm6…

Andrew &amp; Mel #marriedbyjosh! t.co/aZPW4ZvlM… t.co/dNHirGPLa…

Chris &amp; Emma #marriedbyjosh at #newfarm park! #brisbanecelebrant t.co/oXWYKtIZX… t.co/UWI1eR6Yc…

Can you tweet @mention a Bitcoin/block chain expert you know?

I need a blockchain/bitcoin expert that can run me through a crazy idea - anyone?

I’ll be the picture, you be the frame // Toni &amp; Daniel #marriedbyjosh photographed by @spe… t.co/xLK48WAr0… t.co/5gEur8iJQ…

I like the old Kanye t.co/Mqc9W2tis…

If you’re happy and you know it // Matt &amp; Tegan #marriedbyjosh photographed by @bencarroll… t.co/LpslKSy3N… t.co/6013HGtgb…

It’s a little bit sad that Sharp’s ending legacy will be “iPhone display manufacturer” as Foxconn buys them t.co/67xGGhv0e…

I think “Other Josh Withers” is having a baby! t.co/DdwjzQHzt…

Today @ Registry of Births, Deaths and Marriages t.co/YsmU8DFTC…

Whenever people ask Britt and I when we’re having kids, I point at our cats and our garden. It’s… t.co/1J3wAYPgS…

All this love // Nicola &amp; Joel #marriedbyjosh photographed by @shaneshepherdweddings #byr… t.co/DOHKVc6tG… t.co/65aD9aOw7…

Anyone got fax?

I’m required to fax a document today … the direction given on a website asking me to print out a PDF and fax it back after signing it …

I’m separating church and state with a personal Instagram: @fakejoshuawithers t.co/TIs2ZCSO4… t.co/MwxhZQexB…

Watch Chris and Renae get married in immersive 360 degree video! t.co/7pofVuUA3… t.co/Xna6LWppd…

Sally, Kevin, some mates, @sophiebakerphoto, and myself, just hanging out having a laugh o… t.co/8PYWGkBLV… t.co/7LIE9G57L…

I’m available for all coffee related protests t.co/67fq5XUBS…

Just finished listening to @Wil_Anderson’s #wilosophy with @oshergunsberg … fantastic listen: t.co/dtQExqgND…

Those pre-wedding jitters 📷 @colinhockeyphoto t.co/qRTloQMnG… t.co/yiHFgjThK…

Life’s a game made for everyone, love is the prize // Jade &amp; Liam #marriedbyjosh in @embig… t.co/UyrvaUoPz… t.co/jd2sewyvC…

Sunset over #Brisbane t.co/Rl4QO596w…

I’ve waited for brides in worse places.

Aaron &amp; I waiting for Hannah on #wategos #beach, … t.co/5kQ6T7Y4F… t.co/2mLnjriWk…

Watch Chris and Renae get married in beautiful immersive 360 degrees t.co/UjPf4HT3S… #thetas t.co/O2dn4p3rw…

Jared &amp; Jenny, way cooler than me, apparently #marriedbyjosh Eloping at @farmcafeweddings… t.co/UAjTVbf1p… t.co/nAj8km1HB…

Troy &amp; Emma #marriedbyjosh photographed by @gavinwyattphoto t.co/ijXm8n47F… t.co/ADviU9Ccb…

The rush of self-importance #turnmeon #postnotifications yesterday on #Instagram has no do… t.co/OvwVdJNgi… t.co/s5YaGSqtW…

Thanks, Google t.co/4tvY0V1c9…

Mark update: he’s decided to move to Ballina and start a new life with our new mattress t.co/vUB2f67BU…

Update on Mark: he’s driven right past my place

What a time to be alive. I can watch Mark depressingly deliver a new mattress to my home in real time. t.co/7rt59dVkd…

Tim &amp; Caitie married by me, photographed by @paulbamford at #oreillysvineyard with @michae… t.co/YyyxMsDne… t.co/XBzkSOFMM…

If by some generous and loving chance you have turned on post notifications for me, please… t.co/vZSwCr1tm… t.co/9H959x4fW…

How do all of the real estate websites not have a tick box for NBN? I’m searching around now and it’s like hens teeth.

I’m no 29 year old Sunshine Coast tradie but I too have immense fake wealth. t.co/EYal9Qhex…

The best man was getting a little unruly at Tim &amp; Caitie’s wedding. Luckily Amy from @mutt… t.co/tMvCdEg1b… t.co/BoxCB8fpR…

Tim &amp; Caitie #marriedbyjosh at @oreillysrainforestretreat #vineyard with @paulbamford @mic… t.co/9U9pJk286… t.co/9VnKP1JiY…

Melbourne, Sydney, Townsville, Canungra, working week: donsie.

Why is it easier to open a bank acc than it is to open a mini Easter egg? Surely @CSIROnews is working on this? t.co/0Qf3C2IPs…

As a marriage celebrant I’m a big advocate of a swift apology, so thanks, @qantas t.co/zRPJDNpbi… t.co/YgWZb7ldA…

Two nights in heat-ville, North Queensland with my lover plus @sbcreativeco_ who took this… t.co/Bw1f10mq3… t.co/jtOpFnxHF…

Mr Whippy is a guest at Mark &amp; Rochelle’s wedding! t.co/0tfV96x0N… t.co/mtBVNunQY…

Rochelle &amp; Mark #marriedbyjosh in #Townsville with @maidofhonourweddings! #marriagecelebra… t.co/ZGzDf39XL… t.co/hLkQvhoHt…

Wedding guest from Adelaide in Townsville: “You get around a bit, you were the celebrant at the last wedding I went to west of Brisbane!”

Soooo who won? #NRLBroncosCowboys

Taking off now to fly to Townsville, hopefully when we land North Queensland has had another win ✌🏻️ #NRLBroncosCowboys

Despite three people in @Qantas promising me a phone call today re: my missing luggage, the courier just called asking where I am … at BNE

They have all voiced concerns that @Qantas has been losing its premium edge and @VirginAustralia has been gaining it. Time to move?

I’ve sat next to some pilots and flight attendants recently and they’ve all been worried about the Qantas state of affairs recently.

If @Qantas can’t find the bag is this when I start freaking out because I do t have domestic travel insurance?

I’m not sure how @Qantas can lose a massive 23kg black bag with a massive #Sennheiser logo on the side. 24 hours on &amp; they still have 0 idea

With any luck it can bring salvation to a public address soon.

My PA is kind of like Jesus of the #qantas #frequentflyer world this #Easter, hopefully he rises on Sunday, it’d be great to see him again.

This time it’s my PA speaker system that’s been forgotten, by @Qantas.

Last time I went to Townsville it was for my little bro’s wedding and I forgot my suit. BNE✈️TSV

Rise up people of earth, be like Jesus this Good Friday and reject manual clothes handling! t.co/fodualUvv…

This, everyday t.co/E6l6imrJE…

If you’ve ever wondered what me doing my thing looks like, here’s a 360/immersive/VR from yesterday t.co/rHvDtSKou…

Chris and Renae’s elopement in 360: t.co/fWutLnlQ1… via @YouTube

Chris and Renae’s elopement in the Wendy Whitely Secret Garden: t.co/fX3yb3Axe… via @YouTube

I went #Qantas Gold last night. To celebrate @Qantas lost my PA system. This must be how i… t.co/YiKCwZfvU… t.co/u6Ts66xTn…

Flying home now … with a massive tear in my suit pants

Chris &amp; Renar #marriedbyjosh with the @elopementcollective and @heartandcolour!

Does blon… t.co/Qi17of4g8… t.co/VNH6SqFCT…

What to do at the other end of the aisle t.co/HEjVYuqCB…

Chris &amp; Renae #marriedbyjosh in #lavenderbay today with Te @elopementcollective &amp; @heartan… t.co/uPJk6om9Z… t.co/OED7TGsiF…

Everything is A’OK t.co/uEeFERwFe… t.co/skQlqibsT…

Today’s office #wendyssecretgarden #sydneyharbour #theta360 t.co/atDHayMW6…

Jared &amp; Jenny #marriedbyjosh at #Melbourne’s #collingswoodchildrensfarm with the @elopemen… t.co/ZcxZAEufX… t.co/soC1m7y9v…

“They looked at each other for a moment.

The moment became a longer moment, and suddenly … t.co/fIQcIcv0q… t.co/RF4xPwQFl…

. @AppleSupport because no-one authorised is trying to access my account (myself or my wife)

For a “hacker” to get this far, needing an 2-factor auth for iCloud, would they need my password? @AppleSupport t.co/3SoDfcZus…

Melbourne bound today - making marriages!

I had to unfollow 15 people to make it this pretty … t.co/MxwxXxniJ… t.co/bWS3a5NfK…

Brian + Kirsten + the best crowd #marriedbyjosh photographed by Hugo at @curzonhall_navarr… t.co/hAsJLnoAe… t.co/8YstTBJdq…

READ ALL OF THIS! t.co/ciI0xcmma…

Achievement unlocked, thanks for the heads @tjh!

t.co/sKMyCWojm… t.co/m2nGUartF…

“You have no idea what you are getting yourself into when you hire Josh! Seriously!

If yo… t.co/oCYzq3ebG… t.co/yNRc8dOcs…

If nothing else, @Telstra is just giving all us @TwitterAU users the opportunity to have our tweets embedded in news stories #Telstra

Telstra: Live like it’s Download Day everyday. Seriously, we’ve got more to come.

Common mistake … at BBQs t.co/wtZdavMxl…

I’d love to know what personality types consider a year in the army a “gap year” t.co/MGoUT5HtI…

I can smell a rebrand: Nonestra t.co/DwHKtaxGM…

Proud to be nominated for the “Simplest brand name” celebrant award t.co/dV1Nq9igZ…

Brian, totally not being nervous at all 📷 Hugo Photography &amp; Film at @curzonhall_navarrave… t.co/OJDxnPvV4… t.co/y4UVVWf5Q…

A few samples of Matt and Danielle’s wedding ceremony in 360: t.co/ksz2f5vIu… via @YouTube

When you do your #celebrant thing straight after a trip to @barebonesoriginals and it look… t.co/QcOaHMMcR… t.co/5dqiqgcnE…

I’m at that place in life where I’m not sure if @Telstra is down again, or if @Facebook is down or if my iPhone needs a restart

A 7 year old phone!

Struggling to trust my QF pilot, he’s using an iPhone 3GS.

Just the phantom on a horse at a wedding … nothing suss t.co/prfhnTFJ0… t.co/RauTWrXYY…

I shot my wedding yesterday in immersive 360 #theta360 t.co/GonCGlaDN…

Dannielle + Matt #marriedbyjosh on the #shoalhavenriver at #terara’s @driftwoodshed! #marr… t.co/eSLOWKyCH… t.co/LWUd1LBiz…

Prepare the submarine, we’re about to go deep t.co/WOk1jDnn3… t.co/NTnzj6vUj…

Saturday’s are for fun (and new toys!) t.co/jg7YIqmyb… t.co/BKFLqsSzo…

The Hopper Society #theta360 t.co/uV9Fxlzba…

Working on the river today t.co/lb3wAflpS… t.co/t5dYG5q9c…

Today’s office in Terara, NSW #theta360 t.co/YoSlhbwDL…

I’d like an app that recorded how much time I spend looking for my car in carparks when I’m actually driving a rental car.

SCA could learn something from ARN in this - ARNis doing something compelling while SCA is replaying Hamish &amp; Andy

I don’t catch a lot of nightime radio so this little drive to Nowra is pricing to be entertaining.

So @thethinkergirls has got to be some of the best radio happening in Australia at the moment.

You got married where?

Liam &amp; Jade #marriedbyjosh Photographed by @jam_on_your_collar t.co/Zdf0t3Zau… t.co/o11pQouGi…

Mel’s on her way to do something awesome! 📷 @morgancroberts with the @elopementcollective!… t.co/NGsABdjm6… t.co/IJIE0cZZb…

I’ve been a @Telstra customer since birth - thinking about a move to @VodafoneAU - any recent migrants with war stories?

Can anyone else feel another @Telstra download day coming on this weekend? It’s becoming a national holiday 🤘🏻

Fairfax Media reveals plan to employ Twitter bots to simply retweet the news in each city it operates.

#Brisbane peeps getting married - there’s an open day this Sunday you should get to! #brisbanecelebrant #briswed t.co/nzJ9GLmAv…

Making video blog posts! t.co/Pi9KIUfdo… t.co/j7dm8xGvt…

I said “everyone look excited, we’re taking a spherical selfie!” and we ended up #theta360 t.co/WMvNXjgeM…

The office #theta360 t.co/REYrow2TU…

Where’s the current hot and on-point spot to look for freelancers - video editors in particular?

First 360 t.co/yI0N37RDJ…

It’s so weird that after I do my job, and if I do it well, my clients make out like teenag… t.co/vfTRkobFU… t.co/qVXn6t1qy…

Mel &amp; Don #marriedbyjosh at #mounttamborine with the #elopementcollective and #morganrober… t.co/GbOvhcSAH… t.co/e4wuJ1g6W…

When you put your cameras and phones away, your hands are free to clap 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽 photo by @ja… t.co/EvFHQaeSE… t.co/IchFX6oTI…

Jesus would be so proud /s t.co/6ZIiGVTg8…

Group of Miami High students heading down the beach for “class” on a surfboard. Being GC born and now living here, I wish I grew up here.

Layton &amp; Laura #marriedbyjosh on #sydneyharbour in #darlingpoint’s #mckellpark with my fri… t.co/VIbsG77pa… t.co/v5J0uvOLF…

Is this the end of US Netflix in Robina? t.co/fnbJraySz…

That moment that everything changes.

Darren &amp; Felicia travelled from Singapore to be #Mar… t.co/OTNRNCJba… t.co/TOkPljuoP…

Normally I speak at weddings to encourage them, but at Emma &amp; Chris’s ceremony I also left… t.co/0DsX6TXPn… t.co/J5ZgX46ue…

Wendy and Cameron #marriedbyjosh with the @elopementcollective with @laurencampbell creati… t.co/u4zQTinM2… t.co/LldJUX2Qa…

In NZ @hellobrittanyjane and I renewed our promises surrounded by Christmas trees and it r… t.co/bkZagd8jB… t.co/Z4mznO0Qo…

Josh &amp; Sam #marriedbyjosh at @topiariesweddings! #joshandsamsayido2016 #joshandsamsayido t.co/qJkL8ML34… t.co/UqJPNjldL…

Dreaming of New York, sitting in my Brisbane office, talking to @hellobrittanyjane in Bali… t.co/1IJZsccsm… t.co/79HwA4C8k…

Click bait for the 1% t.co/wl0YEYj7n…

Cuff links are so flattering t.co/Zc9qRXg7y… t.co/KvGT2yr9v…

Morning reading // #whitemagazine’s story on the #elopementcollective t.co/k52PfXQBD… t.co/ailE7qWkD…

I just saw a post by my friend @bekgrace_ (from @heartandcolour - throw them a follow) abo… t.co/YSsiE5zLV… t.co/aRKOBSpD0…

Matt + Zoe #marriedbyjosh 📷 @ethanrobsonphotographer #thatface #melbournecelebrant #marri… t.co/ObIH3Vmwv… t.co/n4b3YFOLP…

Breaking awesome news: you can legally change your name to just a single name. No last name, no middle name. I could be “Josh”.

Adam &amp; Chrisney #marriedbyjosh 📷 @storiesbyash t.co/zilJ1gEDl… t.co/I7QmuM0s6…

Watch out guys, I’m about to rock your Instagram world #InstantInstaExpert #opd2016 t.co/0YdH7ZByM… t.co/7FN6jKe6H…

When you want to celebrate how amazing your marriage is but really like trees.

Tara + Kur… t.co/6B3z51Jub… t.co/uRNv6jdz1…

Me by @millyjanephotography and floral bow tie by @northsideflowermarket at @walkaboutcree… t.co/c8ucEVGPD… t.co/wLClRyNbU…

David + Angela #marriedbyjosh 📷 @vellumstudios_steve t.co/U2TDqCGak… t.co/c46UCkBgM…

Can you recommend an iOS app that makes the process of asking people to sign documents easy, beautiful and nice?

In other news, @susieromans who’s your gun PR legend that got you some sweet links from all of the Fairfax websites?

Does Fairfax Media now own Business Insider Australia? This piece on Business Day repurposed from Business Insider reeks of paid content

“And I thought, right, I’m going to have my say.” t.co/bUrfIybE3…

“Ian said that if i did a good job tonight I could be the best man at his next wedding”

My superpower is only watching one episode of Making a Murderer then stopping.

In other news, does anyone want a $499 TV that looks great but sounds terrible? I’ll give it to you for $399 ….

I swear, if they don’t close by the time this is finished! t.co/e6hmUrlWl…

Me to security: you can photocopy as many ‘no refunds’ signs as you like, you’re still bound to Qld law.

Security guard: “look, there’s obviously a reason they’re going broke”

Staging a stand-in protest is really boring in between the argument part and the being escorted out part.

Store manager is livid. This is equal parts scary, fun, and principled.

Apparently they don’t like it when you quote consumer law.

They’re not replacing a faulty TV.

If you see me on the news tonight it’s because I’m being escorted out of my local Dick Smith store by centre security.

“I’m telling you, the fish was thissssss big!” (of course I wasn’t saying that … however… t.co/E23YzkVdH… t.co/y9yqu7GD6…

This child is my wedding spirit animal t.co/9tuuhPbfV… t.co/EEbf9xovY…

“Yeah, use that frame, that’ll get the clicks up!”

Fairfax Media doing its part for International Women’s Day. Nice work, team. t.co/EY62USW1G…

Duckface for days with this wooden bow tie t.co/O4JtFOKJv… t.co/SlkynbfDv…

Do you think hell is just a big art gallery-like place where all of your typos are screenshotted and framed?

All of our spare change goes in this jar. After three years it overflowed. t.co/tQpi3cWv7… t.co/090H4G56n…

Bought a TV from Dick smith today … brought it home … it doesn’t turn on. I feel like this is the beginning of a shitty nightmare.

Mark + Gemma #marriedbyjosh 📷 @quincenmulberry t.co/K2JQFn0Ut… t.co/2EWaNa3qX…

In love with today’s #bowtie - thanks, @northsideflowermarket!! #floralbowtie #walkaboutcr… t.co/d22Ex7m07… t.co/hLs4bcRuG…

Playing with the #instathat #instagramprinter at the #walkaboutcreek #brisbanewedding show… t.co/m0UBmGWDt… t.co/8bxZopqaO…

Rocking a floral bouquet by @northsideflowermarket at the @walkaboutcreekcafeandfunctions … t.co/cLnvzXcZt… t.co/2U5brMlCe…

ME TOO!

#Repost @debboots_ ・・・ This Sunday afternoon I will be at the Walkabout Creek Fun… t.co/T305mIKIG… t.co/pjpoJHG9Q…

Reading Thankyou founder, Daniel Flynn’s book on my flight home. I took it to the counter … t.co/wVvZ8sv4I… t.co/1URb87QvP…

What do you do when you’ve run out of ideas? CTRL+C t.co/REK8O2O2I…

Spent a few days with two of the best. Thanks for the health kick in the ass, @jamesdaywed… t.co/bKPTwgjVP… t.co/jjghITmoh…

Secret #marriedbyjosh #elopement #celebrantselfie with bonus duckface! t.co/X1vWvUa6Z… t.co/qziPK96r8…

Secret elopement south of Sydney! t.co/hL5Hghi2l… t.co/OI20dlqxQ…

Anyone else’s Apple ID fall over? t.co/Jkvjgg7db…

Please keep my family in your prayers at this time t.co/GGdzlbpDp…

How the Internet was when I met it (with bonus Helen Razer) t.co/e7aigO1IK…

“I love a sunburnt country, a land of sweeping plains, of ragged mountain ranges, of droug… t.co/LjYealPv5… t.co/SPeHFPFfj…

When The Cat in The Hat gets married t.co/u541Z7tzV…

If you like reading other people’s wedding vows, check your inbox for this week’s #vowsema… t.co/om6nDnobs… t.co/Bu43o2b21…

Birds of a feather … 🐥 t.co/vpMx00g5f…

Breakfast views with @paulmp at #busselton t.co/rLheyhsE8… t.co/fJZgVsBSa…

Currently in Antarctica with @paulmp #mindblown t.co/aH11PErtF… t.co/Nnx1S6f5x…

The #boatlopement! 📷 @jimmy_izophotography with @elopementcollective &amp; @wilde.visual #marr… t.co/7SZa3pvZi… t.co/8CRXfB2yG…

Sitting in Northbridge after yesterday’s elopement on the Swan River … I really ought to spend more time in Perth, love it here!

Perthect week in the west! 📷 @wilde.visual 🤘🏼 t.co/EWg3I6LCN… t.co/o9BGJzVGQ…

On naming @MailChimp lists t.co/RVcfv7rIY…

Boat elopement squad t.co/MT8rm8PLZ… t.co/Na71hgCJ2…

Monday afternoon on a boat off Fremantle. They call this work! t.co/vTJ29VQGd… t.co/t9q6PIIP6…

Can someone help me with the longitude and latitude for this Google Map pin? t.co/YgBKWZ1Oc…

Just a random boat jetty in Perth on a Monday afternoon. Of course there’s two couples bei… t.co/o7Drv6PnJ… t.co/bbqw9CKCj…

Two ancient power stations t.co/ukXqCyR5o… t.co/OVxzBVVoJ…

My Airbnb said “great view from the bedroom” so they weren’t technically lying t.co/WsNaFSbf0… t.co/jIGecww2T…

Sitting here wondering who the heck is glowing on the red carpet at the Oscars

Great start to the day :) t.co/urS256NcQ…

Some days I feel like I’m the only person still excited about @kanyewest fixing wolves.

My flight buddy to #Perth, @wilde.visual #gowest t.co/qtU4fYADn… t.co/jbu9Nqwhq…

Sandgropers, prepare thyselves, we’re going west, where the skies are blue #gowest

Went into Dick Smith &amp; prices have gone up. This is going to be a long 8wks for those of us trying to pry a cheap TV out of DSE’s hands.

I just did that marrying thing I do and I rocked it! Lucy &amp; Andrew #marriedbyjosh at the @… t.co/zoShB0bf0… t.co/TE5EKalWM…

You’ll see their cyclists riding around the valley today

Clarification: #Foodora launches on Wednesday in Australia, according to the team leader here in Fortitude Valley

#Foodora bought Australian food delivery co, Suppertime last year, sand they have y had Australian presence before today

#Foodora seemingly launching in #Brisbane today t.co/FhFXetUCt…

I’ve just donned my lion suit and stalked my local jungle’s #DickSmith and as of 9:15am Friday there are no “crazy deals”

Whatever you do today, please make sure you don’t donate to the #96five financial appeal today. @96five is wasting cash daily 🤑

Life goal: to find my place on Kanye’s DONDA org chart.

Medicinal marijuana finally legalised in Oz. Now all those “sick” gay ppl can finally get stoned like the religious-right want them to be.

Nat &amp; Dan’s backyard vow exchange t.co/LmPZ0pjYX…

About to click send on Nat &amp; Dan’s #vowsemail! Subscribe at t.co/EDtbRrMT9… t.co/dNP7LV6Hm… t.co/fZ3YI51dA…

Monocole Magazine says the GC is the place on the globe people interested in F&amp;B need to t… t.co/fJ6Hk5IRC… t.co/6GWDglSwd…

Working hard, or hardly working? Who’s to know? 📷 Ethereal Photography t.co/iuJ4KuyYq…

These lovebirds are sharing their vows in this week’s #vowsemail out Wed - subscribe at t.co/EDtbRs4u0… t.co/N0jn9nlyZ…

Consistency blown away by my calendar. In the coming week I’m at weddings in Brisbane, Perth, then Sydney …. frikkin amazing.

Debating a question here at home: is n Australian embassy “Australian territory”?

You can find @hellobrittanyjane and I at the @vintagebridemag #brisbanevintagebridewedding… t.co/qx9UzazBQ… t.co/04t3Zc3d1…

Joel + Kellie #marriedbyjosh! t.co/dSnUUumUz… t.co/KpGi2RakW…

But first let me take a selfie. Can you guys help me choose a filter?

Zoe + Matt #married… t.co/7WDoX7OHt… t.co/wfYAFapaV…

Happy Valentine’s lovers xx t.co/IUWjPIzyU… t.co/ZMyJvJgAS…

Vows from Dreamworld to the wedding via the hospital t.co/kRQnldcvF…

I’m a guest on the Luke &amp; Susie national radio show! Listen in here t.co/J4HIbGsvl…

it’s like a show that’s made personally for me

I’m live on @blab with @rightside right now talking about domain names and marriage! t.co/jkGrVvawT…

I’m talking about highs, lows, business and weddings on the Luke &amp; Susie radio show :) t.co/sDGjJW2nZ… t.co/u8WZKbtom…

Siri’s like a teenage girl when you ask her for advice in the supermarket t.co/spMHQdFf4…

Ben + Kaycee #marriedbyjosh 📷 Just For Love! t.co/cQ0gbT0r2… t.co/IbhNdKN1z…

Click this link to listen to me being interviewed by Luke &amp; Susie! :) t.co/JrahFPG9R… t.co/II2PhTPCC…

about:blank t.co/2NUqstdLO…

Taya &amp; Millo #marriedbyjosh at #Tallai 📷 @adamwardphotography t.co/wHiMfiaX6… t.co/nHXEnu09O…

I’m at the @lightspacevenue Brisbane wedding open night - there’s a Snapstory tour on my Snapchat right now t.co/4GGRQ7Cle…

Tonight! This bloke is talking about the best part of the wedding: the ceremony, at the @l… t.co/PkGb8QZrf… t.co/tSNvjLaGc…

Ziggy gets married t.co/PmbQGlq9B…

Face palm etc

So, Internets, should I do it?

Just now the TV producers called me and now I tried calling myself but I’m not answering.

For the last month, every day a new celebrant calls me asking whether I think it’s a good idea for them to go on Married At First Sight.

Any of my friends want to work for Uber in Sydney in design? Let me know, I’ll throw you a personal recc to the ppl t.co/eTwiwCiTq…

This coming Tuesday the 16th, aka tomorrow night from 6pm, you’re invited to the @lightspa… t.co/JreznY59A… t.co/O2aOxZXWy…

I made a crabby friend at work today t.co/IRl55TXJ0… t.co/UJ1cNmOLC…

A perfect marriage is just two imperfect people who refuse to give up on each other. 📷 @he… t.co/MQsuEdxD7… t.co/shvauHuMI…

Dud &amp; Jan #marriedbyjosh on #valentinesday on #northstradbrokeisland #brisbanewedding #bri… t.co/BSXRNRP2H… t.co/Yue5krmK9…

Today’s office t.co/wHWDqpwUQ…

Today’s office #northstradbrokeisland @ Point Lookout, North Stradbroke Island t.co/RAYVeNYBS…

These are the things that keep me up at night, @fatjoe @Ruleyork @ashanti - @AppleMusic. t.co/3Wc7Og86n…

If I can hear the @fatjoe with @Ruleyork &amp; @ashanti questioning whether or not the microphone on, then indeed, it is already on

“Put the fucking mic on” is the demand @fatjoe begins the song “What’s luv?” with as his friends @Ruleyork &amp; @ashanti - but there’s an issue

“Most people don’t know why they’re doing what they’re doing. They imitate others, go with the flow, and follow p… t.co/ZLRPjqSgj…

Forgotten to make 💍 Valentine’s Day ❤️ reservations? 🍝💕🍷 Don’t worry! I’ve got a table for… t.co/BJSCULQl4… t.co/qeDyKXIsI…

If you’d like more information about my business send a stamped, self-addressed envelope to PO Box 457 in your capital city.

Four Corners host Sarah Ferguson professes her love with live TV - Mediaweek t.co/6pGaCoVu5… via @nuzzel thanks @MikeCarlton01

I’m obsessed with this girl.

I really believe that the joy of life is in finding that in … t.co/RxEHuqu9f… t.co/SicI1iV0k…

#Deadpool is an A++ superhero flick, but the writers were the real heroes in the movie

Adam and Kirsten’s wedding vows t.co/Wa8wFdNWe…

About to send out a new #vowsemail - real wedding vows from my couples - email sub at t.co/EDtbRrMT9…

Would you have your wedding portrait photo shoot on a different day from your ceremony and… t.co/Qe4LxnFRX… t.co/4kEDOcZJ3…

Would you have your wedding portrait photo shoot on a different day from your ceremony and reception?

Josh and Britt’s wedding vows t.co/gK1dRN05e…

Such a beautiful lack of lo-fi jokes and abundance of intelligence on @hit105Brisbane @StavAbbyOsher with @oshergunsberg on air

Read other people’s #weddingvows by throwing your email in the subscribe box at … t.co/TPGZyPvyU… t.co/cGX0LnUyh…

$500 to get your own Snapchat filter for a day, $1000 for the month t.co/RJrh9lUI7…

By the way - would totally love a retweet on that last tweet peeps!

Read real people’s wedding vows in a new email I’m sending - it’ll have vows and vows only t.co/EDtbRs4u0…

ARGH the free social network where I post lo-fi jokes is making changes! I’m so going to threaten to leave, but I won’t! 😡

Kevin + Mimi #marriedbyjosh in #ByronBay! #byronbaywedding #byronbaycelebrant t.co/572NXs5i4… t.co/LMLqQE3ka…

Every time I pull into a 7-Eleven and press the button that squirts out a coffee I blame Obama for the bad coffee. Thanks, @BarackObama.

This is me, judging all of your Instagram bios 📷 @heartandcolour t.co/V2BjxU7nf… t.co/gKIVsekQO…

🤓❤️👼🏻🤘🏻 📷 @heartandcolour 🇳🇿 #wanaka t.co/8avQRV9ZS… t.co/xS7X6QjrR…

Lauren &amp; Michael #marriedbyjosh at @coolibahdownsprivateestate on the #goldcoast! #goldcoa… t.co/xtaCgR9bM… t.co/4l6r1SYm2…

Wedding photographers: I am a guest on this week’s episode pf the Six Figure Photography podcast t.co/iRw7gh0oV…

The iPhone camera isn’t it’s all cut out to be is it. Top photo by @heartandcolour, bottom… t.co/kRPqSYR13… t.co/3HL7elJce…

Two spectacular humans decided to elope in NZ with myself, @heartandcolour and @elopementc… t.co/Ru41WHu0t… t.co/IiFtNMiZk…

Earlier this week EB &amp; DJ were #marriedbyjosh on the shores of #LakeWanaka in this crazy/a… t.co/h7Kv1Pswa… t.co/gh3VEqhJx…

On that note - I think that this email by subscription with a fee thing is a thing … I’m currently paying about $60 a month for emails.

Give it a shot at t.co/2IqOUnZWN…

If you like nerdy techie things you’ll like @decryption’s email - the first week is a free trial without a credit card

My favourite daily email costs $5 a month and it’s a quick and nice read about Australian tech news.

The best week in Queenstown &amp; Wanaka with the best people! Plus a spectacular secret elope… t.co/RCo6VJzUT… t.co/ShngHwz90…

Secret #elopement business t.co/MuyBcJl27… t.co/C2zzOFd9z…

I dreamt last night that #BenStiller and I took heaps of selfies together down by Lake #Wa… t.co/e0TqltUZ0… t.co/rEic0A94y…

Good morning from Wanaka, where the sun rises then two hours later finally shows its face t.co/Ragk9AtEf… t.co/BzMCznrjZ…

Us 📷 @heartandcolour t.co/Adviagx8b… t.co/wZUdAVufX…

My wife 😁 📷 @heartandcolour t.co/xo218ENke… t.co/zmoLTo0kd…

I loved @hellobrittanyjane’s and my wedding, it was a rad day! The great thing about marri… t.co/LBLAd8U5v… t.co/sTin1EfWs…

Running around New Zealand’s South Island before tomorrow’s elopement with @heartandcolour… t.co/J933srwL6… t.co/u24oARAHI…

Snow &amp; bikinis in the same photo … #Wanaka #withroggsnz16 #bloss t.co/T87GcXbHX… t.co/qtO5nYAoc…

A little #repost @jamesdayweddings because a) I love the man, b) love his creations, c) lo… t.co/Z50u5uYJr… t.co/IrsvCGX7K…

Trekkin' with @hellobrittanyjane #bloss #withroggsnz16 t.co/PzX42gH47… t.co/NoAbegLFM…

The Rasmus #withroggsnz16 t.co/3FUMWVCSJ… t.co/l85tFOm34…

Ice-cream’s for lovers t.co/yUwQubrkH… t.co/qiAnmlTdT…

Ducks like chips @ Queenstown NZ t.co/A4eJFml2x…

The least I can do is indoctrinate @heartandcolour’s spawn so she grows up an #Apple fangi… t.co/IU0Tj1dZa… t.co/ptzfGfRox…

#notscared #scaredittlebit t.co/7bKhLaJ8v… t.co/8vzNrPRT5…

A photo of paradise, in Paradise, NZ 📷 @heartandcolour t.co/LGn2RgCMR… t.co/ztpMBUPjv…

The hills are alive with the sound of posing, and black and white filters #bloss t.co/aztn8yOjm… t.co/uL4OvEZmt…

Exes can be mad but just know I never let them play with my iPhone… I don’t do that… I stay away from that area all together

There have been lesser views from kitchens t.co/CxN7jCM4B… t.co/i5VoOuwbg…

NZ elopement with this lot, coming right up! t.co/u4iygpMfP…

NZ bound tonight! GC ✈️ Christchurch!

In 2000 years we’ll be preaching all this shit @kanyewest @ElaheIzadi

I feel like @kanyewest is writing the new New Testament, and at the moment it doesn’t make sense, but in 2000 years t.co/VxpiAmK0H…

Takes 5 days to reply, plus they own a brewery but won’t shout. Terrible friend. t.co/muIgXrAe4…

Thanks for the hangs this week, @sofitelgoldcoast t.co/aAlWXwqgn… t.co/np1ixJNT7…

Happy birthday, Jimbob, you don’t look a Day over 31 t.co/EU1yPlDFa… t.co/PwbhH5Kcy…

Happy birthday, Wifey 😍 t.co/utF9G4eKr… t.co/mZHbYsSrt…

Snapchat’s way of saying that the French Air Force is coming to liberate mainland Australia from Tasmania? t.co/qhwO7ms9V…

I just crashed Charlie &amp; Tammy’s #AustraliaDay @triplej #hottest100 party and made them a husband &amp; wife! t.co/hNuJOwC5a…

About to crash a #hottest100 party and turn it into a wedding!

Happy birthday to the best human in my life, my very own personal Australia Day t.co/PNG4u0Tci…

#happyaustraliadaymate @ Starbucks Australia t.co/jiWoUIIDz…

John @Gruber has a podcast intro tune and now I’m questioning my whole existence.

By Australian journalism standards, me watching it will count, should I email them? t.co/hXX2jqmJl…

Good words from @jamesdayweddings: If you’re going to have a wedding on Sydney harbour, sp… t.co/v0uzxAdup… t.co/mquzNLczb…

Sharli’s pinging for an #applewatch for her 1st birthday, @bekgrace_ @bekgrace_ @ Feather and Docks t.co/F4HAcC1DG…

Layton and Laura crossed the divide and became husband &amp; wife yesterday! @jamesdayweddings… t.co/3xLWXxjCz… t.co/rszKf7S6D…

Don’t like #flowers? Like #chupachups? Allow me to introduce you to your new #weddingflowe… t.co/NrHjXYHk3… t.co/MSwJTZnUT…

Nic + Kim #marriedbyjosh in a surprise wedding at their engagement party! #nicandkimsbliss… t.co/7BWJmS1OP… t.co/lZJwgSIxm…

The amazing Layton &amp; Laura #marriedbyjosh at #mckellpark with @girlfridayweddings @jamesda… t.co/v7ELWljxl… t.co/tz86w1dNY…

Showed @jamesdayweddings what a #marriedbyjosh marriage celebration looks like today! t.co/dHwWGzzkQ… t.co/k41x2gHAX…

Layton, the groom, tells me that he’s sure that this super yacht is James Packer’s. Is Mar… t.co/qv1tQedkt… t.co/ZzmRRAGZM…

I found a podcast host just wandering around the streets Sydney and had coffee with her an… t.co/ebFTawkQg… t.co/qhEWBb4Bo…

There’s two children in business class on my flight. That sweet Minecraft money must be pouring in.

Starting to get some of that sweet comedy coin t.co/HqL8uQUjq…

Dear Mariah and James, I have many puns already prepared for your wedding ceremony, please call, your celebrant. t.co/8YZmpeRnc…

All of the text (I think) has been copied from the T&amp;Cs we agreed to when we we last installed Windows. Any banks speak english?

Maybe banks would do better if they spoke english for humans on their websites?

Looking at the @ANZ_AU business accounts the primary difference is something called “Additional Key Package Benefits” which means FA

Is one bank better than others for small business (trust) banking?

Need to open new business bank accounts - any reason I should move away from ANZ where I currently am?

When I was a child I desired super powers, who didn’t? I always thought they’d come as a h… t.co/qsPwcqiZn… t.co/oXtLxgmpe…

Be sure to read “In our darkest corners” by @Khourageous on @LinkedIn t.co/tN7emtnBp…

Ice cream sandwiches at #MisterFitz with @jewliehday and @hellobrittanyjane t.co/5YBggxrAD… t.co/Vwxon56bp…

#MisterFitz, probably illegal in this age of ice cream prohibition t.co/GnFhkM4Q8… t.co/Z3fVHZUbq…

Britt &amp; I have just toured #Brisbane’s newest #wedding #venue: @rainforestgardens - check … t.co/O1OuwHaeF… t.co/Gb1RHzalw…

I don’t think I’ve ever procrastinated more on any other social network than Snapchat

Thanks to @meghan_brearley for this photo from @collectivehub and their article about #pop… t.co/Kk3VgzLvF… t.co/gsNr05AW5…

I wonder if we can’t do it today, through the powers of manipulation and Twitter @MolksTVTalk @ThingCommittee

Ok people, @MolksTVTalk and I have been struggling to find time in the schedule for a @ThingCommittee podcast recording

Riveting conversation about luggage and procrastination on my Snapchat right now #justsayin t.co/2F8DWKKzM…

This headline brings me great joy “John Romero just released his first Doom level in over two decades” t.co/5t9poFd8x…

Any chance of us just leaving them alone? t.co/z1JVAKnMa…

Has Skype gone the way of trampoline and xerox? I just had a client talk about Skyping me over FaceTime.

What is your first date story?

Britt and I met five years earlier, and I had told her I l… t.co/oi7iZAtQG… t.co/hW3J0TBGp…

Less than 20 witnesses, a bridal party, two kids in love, a photographer in @jam_on_your_c… t.co/kFmjyaVKH… t.co/4f5nNJa3r…

Here’s a free, awesome, amazing, way to have a calm and stress-free wedding! t.co/7RED4quQe… t.co/37uZJTfGB…

This app is changing my world. iPhone power users will get lost in its awesomeness!
t.co/i87EyO094…

First look photos are your express train to Calm Wedding Town t.co/t0YijzUkv… t.co/S63h106fX…

My mango looked ripe, but it wasn’t ripe. I’m now questioning everything, &amp; nothing makes sense anymore. What kind of God would allow this?

Flying Gold Coast to Brisbane this week, I thought it’d be shorter than 10 hours, I really should just drive t.co/4EBNE2v7y…

Victoria’s novel approach to tiresome drivers: a quick power nap as you cruise down the highway at 110km/hr t.co/GjNJoXA3u…

Zoe &amp; Matt #marriedbyjosh t.co/UZgFtZyLD… t.co/SKSkcIZto…

Whenever I mention going to Melbourne, people ask “do you know Michael Briggs?” Sure I do,… t.co/lxKiOQtXc… t.co/7ssEyeh8D…

Good morning, Fitzroy t.co/VxZklk329… t.co/EwoBKgiiX…

Busking has a completely different meaning in Melbourbe, there’s guys like @pludomusic just… t.co/GY8mO6r3f…

Melbourne, summer, there are heaters in operation … @ Palmz the Carlton t.co/s6gD1kkqr…

If you’re wondering what the inside of the new George Costanza themed bar is like, my snap story reveals all t.co/JU1musqWJ…

If I owned a company, my employees would love me. They’d have huge pictures of me up the w… t.co/My12k4Neb… t.co/7z5MsBROS…

Spent today with #Melbourne’s best celebrants in a celebrant business workshop 🤘🏼#melbourn… t.co/wEbAgyF8y… t.co/LghLmMbYJ…

Stick around until at least 1:48

Maybe Australian politicians would be cooler and get elected if they got jams like @realDonaldTrump t.co/DLJF4VGCF…

*when wedding photos go right t.co/BHFNldq5s…

Thinking of calling myself “the @netflix of weddings” just because the terminology has lost its meaning now #thenetflixof

Hard to believe that not a single store I’ve called in Melbourne has a Ricoh spherical 360 camera, the Theta S, or even a 360fly.

Hello, ol' #Melbourne town #hellomelair @ Melbourne Airport - Domestic Terminal t.co/NnavKaicE…

I’d like to have a shot at shooting a wedding ceremony in 360 this weekend.

I know I should just order one online, but I’m about to take off to Melbourne - has anyone seen a Ricoh Theta S in-store in Melbourne?

Futurist, @mpesce, talking about an amazing immersive future (with a little bit of me in there) t.co/rNcK3Orgf…

I want to do this today, alas, I’m off to Melbourne instead t.co/aitxwvH4N…

This is my friend, @jamesdayweddings.

He makes photos of people in love. Today, he hid in… t.co/WJ5fkA7eL… t.co/lz6uIZ5Am…

Four years ago tonight I asked @hellobrittanyjane to marry me 😁🎉 t.co/xCkEUfgKQ… t.co/kDedEgHdN…

Holy quacamole t.co/azDZFvkyc…

Slap a koala on any product in America and bam, instant millionaire t.co/518CkVq7i…

The closest I got to knowing how to use it is when it gave me access to every single Fairfax paper’s social media. Now they use Hootsuite.

This software had apparently cost tens of thousands of dollars and I could t figure it out.

2/2 that they tried to force on us at 4BC

Also, interesting to note on that last retweet that SMH isn’t using the super expensive social software 1/2 t.co/WYGBaDqpx…

The true cost of running out of fucks to give: $71 t.co/6KVtAWzkM…

Dear podcasters, I’m taking the week off podcasts so I’ve got room for non-stop Bowie mixed in with Siri beat boxing t.co/cOKc29cKZ…

Heroes Of The Deep: 7 Fish That Might Have Eaten Osama Bin Laden - ClickHole t.co/UPi7YoRrA… via @nuzzel thanks @jrhennessy

At Pacific Fair today … [Snapchat: celebrant] t.co/PUziaXrF6…

Essendon’t, am I right?!

It’s the terror of knowing what this world is about. Watching some good friends screaming, “Let me out!”

The “it’s a hoax"res have more credibility on Twitter than anywhere else … it’s like we all place our faith in someone confirming a hoax.

“I don’t know where I’m going from here, but I promise it won’t be boring.” - David Bowie, 1947 - 2016

Kristin + Brian #marriedbyjosh at #curzonhall photographed by Hugo Photography &amp; Film! #sy… t.co/q0cgwb837… t.co/RJaIvzIRn…

What a true elopement looks like t.co/BoIjMxDKH…

Take me home, flying kangaroo man t.co/ZT3fJzxQT… t.co/7ODuvuPFe…

Twitter is like one big group text message that we have put on mute

At #curzonhall today I found super #Sydney #celebrant, @rpmarryme! #repost #sydneycelebrant t.co/PhuhgH5Wy… t.co/bvK2yvcL2…

The crazy-excited Kristian and Brian #marriedbyjosh! t.co/z08jUO4jq… t.co/Zj2gLKXsU…

El Chapo Speaks t.co/jTlkXCL9o… via @nuzzel

Whistlestop tour of my couple’s' favourite Sydney cafes ☕️💒😬🎉

It’s a good day for a Sydney wedding! t.co/fPTUABMHv…

Good morning, Gold Coast Airport ✈️ SYD t.co/iaERwHVJ5… t.co/TBs0DZPSX…

Just met the smartest guy I follow on social media, @mpesce, at @gcairport!

Hey, @MolksTVTalk, should I renew this domain name? t.co/E7Vlo0cIe…

James + Alex #marriedbyjosh!! t.co/xYBK7OaWW… t.co/GMk8WDq3N…

If you think you need to get a marriage license, you’ll need to read this article! t.co/eQ7SqZujX…

Answering the question: “Do I need a marriage license to marry in Australia?” t.co/GiSHs7ttu…

I really love working with couples who get me!!! Pics and vid by Evernew! t.co/wv7ra0d5I… t.co/o87I4kWr9…

Kailah &amp; Vu’s wedding is on the #marriedbyjosh blog tonight 😬 link in bio 🤘🏼 photo and vid… t.co/zq0VpDDVq… t.co/HEFEgumwW…

I really love my #woodentie by @woodthumb! Photo by @evernewstudio at @ka1lah &amp; Vu’s #wedd… t.co/1kKKR8OYY… t.co/YWvou2lf6…

Meet Vu and Kailah, the Pham fam and their Mount Tamborine wedding! t.co/24235Kd0h… t.co/AutLevzOp…

One year on, still waiting for the mobile app, @helpscout😘 t.co/94pxJKVkm…

Dear, @CAH, if you’re sponsoring @atpfm this year can @siracusa review fans?

Here’s our pilot episode, for social media friends only, @theapplenation with @Scotty_McDonald &amp; I t.co/WhTw3sXCB…

Every week @Scotty_McDonald and I call each other and talk about technology for hours, so we decided to turn it into a podcast.

I just stole @Trevornoah for §29,212 on @getstolen. #StolenOnStolen t.co/c0c2M0aP8…

I just stole @voxdotcom for §125,358 on @getstolen. #StolenOnStolen t.co/c0c2M0aP8…

Nurse tells me “enjoy your bleed” which is the weirdest thing I’ve ever been told to do t.co/yf399rA41… t.co/IMYLRtmkc…

Deleting old websites I used to manage out of my GA account … before he was cool I managed Stan Walker’s website t.co/BQLiEtOeZ…

The amazing @spicerspeaklodge on a #queensland #summer day for an #elopement #thisisqueens… t.co/9IMOkmMwb… t.co/wv3ZZvgrr…

Today’s #elopement is a top secret one, so there’ll be no #marriedbyjosh #selfie, instead,… t.co/W7PquqbkQ… t.co/PdkwZ4oVK…

I just stole @Beats1 for §68,311 on @getstolen. #StolenOnStolen t.co/c0c2M0aP8…

I just stole @marcoarment for §105,250 on @getstolen. #StolenOnStolen t.co/c0c2M0aP8…

I just stole @reckless for §2,943 on @getstolen. #StolenOnStolen t.co/c0c2M0aP8…

$1M poorer gent, @kyleayers, is my @uber spirit animal t.co/yTpLQJn6Q…

Anthony &amp; Suxanne #marriedbyjosh #howaboutthatfreakindress!!! t.co/0XDIYNROK… t.co/4VplU6nR4…

I just stole @biz for §53,585 on @getstolen. #StolenOnStolen t.co/c0c2M0aP8…

I just stole @marcfennell for §1,882 on @getstolen. #StolenOnStolen t.co/c0c2M0aP8…

I just stole @jsnell for §1,887 on @getstolen. #StolenOnStolen t.co/c0c2M0aP8…

I just stole @LeeLinChinSBS for §1,968 on @getstolen. #StolenOnStolen t.co/c0c2M0aP8…

I just stole @jfkjohan for §2,050 on @getstolen. #StolenOnStolen t.co/c0c2M0aP8…

I just stole @612brisbane for §2,162 on @getstolen. #StolenOnStolen t.co/c0c2M0aP8…

I just stole @Telstra for §2,525 on @getstolen. #StolenOnStolen t.co/c0c2M0aP8…

I just stole @abexlumberg for §2,657 on @getstolen. #StolenOnStolen t.co/c0c2M0aP8…

What used to be the #popupwedding co. Is now the @elopementcollective #elopementcollective t.co/5pR0CoDLU… t.co/41Qe5UMKN…

Had a sweet taste of New York City tonight! So good to see you Cory + Lauren 😘🗽 t.co/Wowa57542… t.co/f1lgPIJAX…

Ahh, waiter, it all ran out, I think there’s a problem #gooddaycoffee t.co/zGrpv1wAo… t.co/Ejdh6g0d9…

I just stole @AppleMusic for §6,123 on @getstolen. #StolenOnStolen t.co/c0c2M0aP8…

I just stole @ow for §10,016 on @getstolen. #StolenOnStolen t.co/c0c2M0aP8…

I have a “Stolen” app invite code: XEG091. Get Stolen now: t.co/LC42XWW27… t.co/LC42XWW27…

I just stole @ThatKevinSmith for §4,769 on @getstolen. #StolenOnStolen t.co/c0c2M0aP8…

Maybe once Uber confirms your surge rate you have to answer a quiz about who the current PM is or whether “your” is being used correctly.

Driving for Uber for New Year’s Eve is an experience everyone should have at least once in… t.co/WyijKzjh3… t.co/EOhlj5M0T…

My favourite people are those that don’t understand the service they’re using … like Uber and supply/demand t.co/7c1tVZXl7…

Follow me on Snapchat like the follower you are t.co/3AShyAjTF…

Britt and my 2015 - all in one blog post! t.co/Rc6pkYPrA… t.co/x1PrPgFpE…

8.8 surge! t.co/ioYh3HMOS…

Happy new holiday savings! t.co/vzEfTngbF…

Fire on the beach!! #fireworks t.co/SCab1o37t… t.co/FrpKZ96Cp…

It’s that gooch time of the year so I’ve gotten all reflective and written an end of year … t.co/X6KcnhRYV… t.co/KDqRrtWLe…

The #marriedbyjosh 2015 t.co/cdLVv23Je…

#duckfacebyjosh 📷 @studiobluetulip t.co/mZeQhTFo1… t.co/u1roYXLE7…

I go to weddings &amp; with my powers of I encouragement I make everyone clap as you french kiss your favourite human t.co/6eYp1eHaX…

New year, new @TwitterAU profile

Feeling a bit warm and fuzzy after this 😁🤘🏽🌯 #Repost @rebecca.kate.b: Reflecting on 2015, … t.co/ti9199Cwp… t.co/NKUXgou5f…

Love a good scheduled tweet t.co/q8FWZ8qgx…

I love bow ties. Like, really love them. So I just wanted to show off some of my collectio… t.co/FRmhABkG4… t.co/XR0ypCkZe…

You takin' ta me? 📷 @studiobluetulip t.co/yFHB9YgzD… t.co/vvXHPErP0…

Breakfast with ma boo - that’s marriage 😘 t.co/GI5IHtYkZ… t.co/O4IO7guNc…

Sleeping with myself t.co/RPNRXYxBH… t.co/sjvccBNuA…

Barista spelt my name wrong t.co/kJrYnt4Et… t.co/WNGqVKiVz…

“Fitness First is like a local version of Stereosonic (the music festival)”

64 reasons to have a Merry Christmas break! Thanks Santa 😘 t.co/FS4icBoX0… t.co/d39iLEpRv…

Smashing the glass! George + Jodi #marriedbyjosh 📷 by @evokephoto 🎉 @events_to_a_t #sydney… t.co/HCcgSMDmW… t.co/SoqUH3YPB…

When she’s been in the car for 11 hours too long t.co/teh92wbpt… t.co/hDldMNqTm…

When I first told @hellobrittanyjane that I loved her I was 50% of the morning crew on thi… t.co/qPHi2C3iZ… t.co/85AaMGklk…

I don’t have a social media department 😩

A chocolate Christmas dream comes true in the #MarriedByJosh social media department t.co/Vyu6kLGnD…

Every Christmas I get excited emails “we want to get married this week” - here’s why u can’t t.co/aumv3pbk7… t.co/IvwwOb7m1…

Every few days I take mine and @MolksTVTalk’s friendship to a new level where he makes the same idol threat t.co/LV1Ghu1Si…

It’s Christmas Eve, like, in case you don’t know t.co/plg69fKbB… t.co/QNSSftDOM…

I know I’ve posted all these other spammy pics with Christmas stuff on them, but I wanted … t.co/LPQjHrUDR… t.co/i29VIQ4wS…

Father-in-law hasn’t lived in Sydney for 20 years but he refuses to take Google Maps on its directions #nerdproblems

Those last two posts explain my grey hair, big smile and beard t.co/h6Ra9odeU… t.co/6wzKl3Mh1…

From my squad, to yours, may you have an extraordinarily Merry Christmas #squadgoals #Chri… t.co/h7ITo4FBw… t.co/ceHy2avy5…

My #2015bestnine @Instagram photos tell a great story. We started the year wanting to end … t.co/nNe2JET8i… t.co/SWvrUXjrx…

When a climate change protests interrupts your wedding || George + Jodi #marriedbyjosh pho… t.co/bHeCTuFWq… t.co/BN5vm6tiw…

Back in my favourite aircraft watching spot for #Christmas 2015 t.co/33gTXqo5I… t.co/ygKDGY4Cf…

If only there was a quicker way to get here 🤔 t.co/3OiPJrZbh… t.co/KD2TzglmK…

David Letterman felt the same leaving TV as I did leaving radio t.co/DTfT8WnOh…

138.69

Stevie is like Kylo Ren, they both had too much love from their parents while there was to… t.co/Pzgy9BUeF… t.co/adtkjw66n…

We’re leaving #steviewithers and #aggiewithers in charge of the office for a few days whil… t.co/GgDTPSjNZ… t.co/wzksqqNX5…

Thanks, @KimKardashian t.co/GECsMerca…

Must be terrible for 1 woman to be announced as the most objectified woman on the planet, and then 15secs later have that title taken away

Please come and collect your 747s t.co/rEQCvvoF2…

Nic &amp; Lauren #marriedbyjosh t.co/GtrKnh5Gn… t.co/lKB7ODkwN…

No, #AppleWatch, it’s Christmas! The happiest time of the year. t.co/jcFZj5ci4… t.co/q1gYhfsQ1…

Holly + Ben #marriedbyjosh 📷 @jadoreweddingfilms #adoradowns #toowoombawedding t.co/3ZJ8LpMNn… t.co/POIZYLQzu…

A 2min primer by Stephen Colbert if you’re going to see #StarWars this week and you’ve never seen the other 6 movies t.co/HEllxtvfo…

I’m beside myself with this cushion t.co/Lpth24Iux… t.co/Ihdzknjbp…

Just flew past my house thinking why am I flying back into Brisbane … t.co/GobhI3xY9… t.co/Iz7bRBitN…

Thanks for having me #Melbourne! I’ll be back in four weeks for my #celebrant business wor… t.co/6eFDGvycB… t.co/Z5fpSXUpA…

Melbourne, you’re oh so welcoming today. Any chance of the temp dipping below 30 tonight?

#jackieandsteel’s cake topper #StarWars t.co/4Y9X3Rejd… t.co/Qsb5Rl4DJ…

Steele + Jackie #marriedbyjosh #jackieandsteele @jooklin + @SteeleSaunders t.co/MwJLViOS4…

CardotWeather never disappoints t.co/NXiv7Xt6M…

Tee shirt under a suit jacket on national TV …

Ben + Holly #marriedbyjosh at #adoradowns #toowoomba #toowoombawedding #toowoombacelebrant… t.co/b6cZ9GGFB… t.co/CCqQ5wVDN…

That moment a reindeer comes up to the bride a few days before Christmas - blurry shot off… t.co/fPUsRn9ap… t.co/8PZlLN0jn…

My favourite thing about life right now is the diversity.

Last week I was in deep in Lami… t.co/6AeoUqTKp… t.co/06fIe5jPX…

Spending the day in Toowoomba! Filming a secret project this morning and Ben + Holly’s wed… t.co/ahLe3vDcY… t.co/dsNdfmm78…

It’s bring your girlfriend to work day t.co/2rc9J9sJi… t.co/vzKs8AHnZ…

“I don’t know why there’s a battery saving option? Why doesn’t it just always save battery” - Britt nails the current state of iPhone

I took an “Applause” sign to Bec &amp; Jeremy’s wedding 📷 @colinhockeyphoto at #BroadwayChapel… t.co/4BiTrhbuY… t.co/t4YW47RH1…

Withers, James Withers 📷 @aaronshumphotography t.co/04F0h1ije… t.co/VIBDCVaXF…

Ridiculously proud of what she’s created, evidence in the current issue of @collectivehub … t.co/zYDa0aZGT… t.co/WrMKUm59g…

Jo + Chris #marriedbyjosh at @homesteadwedding with #photography by @etherealphotography #… t.co/9KtapROES… t.co/qYyVvVmWs…

Listen back to my chat on ABC radio statewide across Queensland about awesome weddings t.co/ZST8kg4mq… t.co/DmtdQkXW3…

Perfect. Amazing. Beautiful. Spectacular! #StarWars t.co/nw6etQcrt… t.co/kg2CHQHCv…

This movie sucks so far #StarWars t.co/KEi41Q7jH… t.co/EgNKXnjjA…

As we sat down in the cinema for #StarWars midnight screening we realised that midnight is… t.co/xtuTZnZ8J… t.co/V06H6nomT…

As we sat down in the cinema for #StarWars midnight screening we realised that midnight is… t.co/TfNjxH5bD… t.co/Cxk6sKXKE…

I’m starting to think that my Darth Bader Pez Dispenser isn’t the “dress up” the cinema st… t.co/VD4UAiTNR… t.co/decF28OoI…

Lardassgate t.co/SWFHIqRrR…

Matthew + Zarna #marriedbyjosh at @lightspacebrisbane with @savvyv taking pics! t.co/Qm1edSVgv… t.co/OlODyKF9Q…

Bec + Jeremy #marriedbyjosh photographed by @colinhockeyphoto at #broadwaychapel! #brisban… t.co/MJonR7dzO… t.co/DDmJYHQMW…

My chat on ABC Queensland local radio with Terri Begley t.co/cl7USiMeT…

Yesterday at Darren and Felicia’s #elopement with @populwed at #SummergroveEstate they wan… t.co/Jap7khtdu… t.co/IrAtyWKyC…

Luke + Jessie #MarriedByJosh t.co/4cNhbfc8D…

Darren &amp; Felicia #eloped to the #GoldCoast from #Singapore to be #marriedbyjosh in a #priv… t.co/hNWV504WY… t.co/4Fh5j6gQZ…

When, how, why did wedding ceremonies get that boring that a guest’s first thought is to p… t.co/i9n727NHO… t.co/dTeEco21H…

When, how, why did wedding ceremonies get that boring that a guest’s first thought is to photograph it instead of participate in it?

I as a guest on ABC Local Radio Queensland-wide today - you can listen back here t.co/tLjz9It1F…

About to go on air at @612brisbane and Queensland wide on your local ABC radio station talking weddings #612Brisbane t.co/LXbQIKzG2…

Just because I wanted to going @morgancroberts' gears editing one of his photos terribly t.co/SszPne8ze… t.co/n4rgnnj12…

The revolution of Yahoo: Yahoo &gt; Yahoo! &gt; hoo &gt; who? &gt; oh t.co/iLsAQ6rGJ…

When the #groom calls his #bride a #knife in his #weddingvows 📷 @patch_media t.co/p9VpkJZHF… t.co/gOkn80S0t…

Kind of blown away that two awesome humans from #Singapore have entrusted @hellobrittanyja… t.co/eyLbjLGeF… t.co/TiCu4hDT0…

Unnecessary use of journalistic resources, case 42996 t.co/iLg9ox1gh…

Snag Stand + Movie + Hottie = Date Night t.co/m61Zf2Q7n… t.co/DqjUwCma0…

Glenn and Kiri #marriedbyjosh at their very own #wedfest at #tyalgumridgeretreat! t.co/T45oEV2YE… t.co/lNy1MDhAg…

The boys were in charge of moving the ceremony decorations undercover t.co/gRodCor3P…

I’ve found the time space continuum t.co/PoEMjGRgZ…

The most exciting thing I see in marriage is the journey. Our journey so far has been exci… t.co/GjtFCp4SU… t.co/VCrxaqbQB…

Thank you to everyone that got me my favourite socks for my birthday, Happy Socks!!! t.co/PEAmtFHMR… t.co/bxuyCD9hE…

Father-in-law just suggested that we all ‘Netflix and Chill’ this morning t.co/IcX3Yvhjs…

#Repost @etherealphotography: Dan &amp; Natalie’s ceremony with the awesome @joshuawithers #br… t.co/SbgwCu019… t.co/2VDdhYiO2…

Aris + Erin #marriedbyjosh t.co/IBqox5aF9… t.co/1FlBYbNgr…

Guys, you might have thought my helicopter flying days were over. Well, they’re not!!! San… t.co/FLlMdsc3b… t.co/lpxdkLVZk…

Wouldn’t it be amazing if the whole purpose of the universe was to send cosmic guidance to 12 groups of women dependant on their DOB.

2016 New Year Resolution: think about adding “Thinkfluencer” to my LinkedIn bio.

{G+X 3/3} I create moments that can only ever exist once, it’s like the Snapchat of real l… t.co/h62wOPb7P… t.co/eHsghFmyp…

{G+X 2/3} I lead a community to a place where they can realise that moment and celebrate t… t.co/qFrTmfcnW… t.co/w6S2HuUsw…

{G+X 1/3} as a marriage celebrant I don’t provide legal services, or fill the gap in betwe… t.co/yaLgMBYFi… t.co/C5erOgWuJ…

What Really Happens When You Get Shot t.co/NzgYuY1mv…

Thanks to @celebrantladylove I’m that #AppleWatch guy that changes his watch band for fash… t.co/7D5zO9kpA… t.co/Jupnqo8PT…

#Brisbane named “AP’s best-prepared city to encourage foreign direct investment” needs to go to the city pool room t.co/AURv8VZfd…

That Apple reseller I overheard selling old Apple TVs as new ones has shut down t.co/AXcdo3mDC…

In a bookstore right now t.co/Qgk6Jcvwf… t.co/GO6f5zAla…

I’m a celebrant, get me out of here! Jokes! The best looking couple of 2015, Angela &amp; Davi… t.co/u6P7RKWsH… t.co/Og4p0LEme…

I think I need to learn to code t.co/LdgIXZt42…

The cult of likability t.co/Zf57avJEF…

So many captions 📷 @morgancroberts t.co/b8h9Bwrqc… t.co/kfaFT2rdz…

The @byronviewfarm resident wedding cat 📷 @morgancroberts at @popupwed #byronbaypopupweddi… t.co/JbBbV9abR… t.co/lJHgE1ZDF…

I spent most of last night taking selfies with myself. This is @celebrantladylove’s daught… t.co/lvwLvPkQH… t.co/xyY3hfLe4…

On seeing bouts of Josh-love online, a friend said that today is just another day to reali… t.co/k298wpMVC… t.co/eTiIGipw3…

Matching outfits selfie! #joshis34 t.co/RXm4ErtUV… t.co/8bsBlrJoI…

Hotel checkout selfie! #joshis34 t.co/X9x98y8YO… t.co/kluFfKmFq…

I’m an Instagram Husband t.co/etk1xdHmB… t.co/jZRx6yWfP…

Thank you, everyone #joshis34 t.co/yUjdu67QC… t.co/kXcw0LMUm…

The best gift anyone can give is support and love. I get that from @hellobrittanyjane ever… t.co/4AgpMaWfb… t.co/AROkFeNxG…

A progressive government would invite Kimye in to just start naming stuff. Make it rain, @TurnbullMalcolm.

I made a husband and wife out of two freakingly cool people today! Jo + Chris #marriedbyjo… t.co/ct20KTtpT… t.co/dAObVahMF…

Truth is, if you refer to me as “funky” in your enquiry email I’ll probably do your wedding for free.

So crazily proud of Britt and the whole pop-up wedding team internationally. It’s beautifu… t.co/ScHjMd9yg… t.co/Eo5NorYgL…

““How come your folks named you ISIS? Does it like embarass you?”” by @isisAnchalee t.co/XUOT4Fq5u…

Mum just introduced me as a priest. Which probably explains her misunderstanding of my business.

A great interview with Zane Lowe on the goals of Apple’s new radio station, Beats 1 t.co/SSmk1Pmln…

Love ya Jul’s t.co/LW3xeUsoM…

#Sunset over #Cairns t.co/qeUtifemZ… t.co/tLWXWg5Hu…

#brisbane right now - thanks for the great 4G @Telstra t.co/6gtZtf3zr…

This is not the Project Runway I signed up for … t.co/8MeXQ3bBs… t.co/sIq3it3go…

BNE✈️CNS

Your MacBook charger has more processing power than the original Macintosh t.co/sZjtmaT9C…

I don’t think I know anyone else with an #AppleWatch, so I haven’t been able to do any of … t.co/SZdYz6gio… t.co/4xfO3cuW9…

I’ve been in a car for an hour, thanks for recording my sit as a stand, #AppleWatch /cc @gruber t.co/OjeekPIkF…

Look, Ma! I’ll be in the ‘paper tomorrow!

#Repost @rufflesandcakemag ・・・ We checked in wi… t.co/fOMZGGAIs… t.co/4Ijipqf5m…

It’s really good day when you get a wedding enquiry for this location :) t.co/1ZP0g9rAo…

Four years ago I told @hellobrittanyjane that I loved her, we’d already been friends for f… t.co/LiDrL6qrg… t.co/hiuCBJMu2…

Civil partnerships are back in Queensland! t.co/1K1pL9LOx… t.co/pj3JZArM6…

It’s only 1.04 mass shootings per day. Let’s wait until it’s 1.05 before we cause a ruckus ok t.co/brLU04m5D…

I’m just waiting for America to invade America to disarm their weapons of mass destruction.

Tried really hard to stay off my feet today so my sprained ankle can heal, the Apple Watch thought I was too active t.co/zQLzY55HY…

If Microsoft and Apple can get along at Christmas, surely all of us can t.co/vsT7PzNE9…

If journalists reviewed Macs like iPads t.co/NxpOMN1L0…

Peer behind the wedding planning curtain and see how Toni and Daniel created their wedding t.co/83drYFYEp… t.co/89c5yXMIW…

How to make Daniel &amp; Toni’s wedding, in an Instagram takeover t.co/leobnqCHl…

This is Daniel &amp; Toni’s final post in the Instagram takeover! Follow their their story on … t.co/iqczLRod0… t.co/92EGHlNmd…

Today is a Dan &amp; Toni Instagram takeover! D&amp;T were married at Beechmont recently and today… t.co/7BZwoiUKy… t.co/ziPrRaFax…

Today is a Dan &amp; Toni Instagram takeover! D&amp;T were married at Beechmont recently and today… t.co/btptZ5xMQ… t.co/wKdR4f8w7…

Today is a Dan &amp; Toni Instagram takeover! D&amp;T were married at Beechmont recently and today… t.co/qLUs4IqMu… t.co/oOPC1mbvS…

Today is a Dan &amp; Toni Instagram takeover! D&amp;T were married at Beechmont recently and today… t.co/IKMSL6oBc… t.co/mXEFmHFr8…

Today is a Dan &amp; Toni Instagram takeover! D&amp;T were married at Beechmont recently and today… t.co/yjYtXPQoH… t.co/mQ8IUr9LW…

Today is a Dan &amp; Toni Instagram takeover! D&amp;T were married at Beechmont recently and today… t.co/i7thjpam1… t.co/TWDshPCX9…

Amusing Ourselves to Death t.co/M5ZloVqA8…

RØDE Microphones &amp; Sachtler are giving away an audio bag full of goodies including the Blimp, NTG4, Filmmaker Kit! t.co/O14Hc4z1m…

Today is a Dan &amp; Toni Instagram takeover! D&amp;T were married at Beechmont recently and today… t.co/TxZGcB24U… t.co/nvCvvrtQa…

Today is a Dan &amp; Toni Instagram takeover! D&amp;T were married at Beechmont recently and today… t.co/ep76ue5eL… t.co/wbg5RnGkz…

Today is a Dan &amp; Toni Instagram takeover! D&amp;T were married at Beechmont recently and today… t.co/GJklrxV3H… t.co/Jzv79Zalh…

Today is a Dan &amp; Toni Instagram takeover! D&amp;T were married at Beechmont recently and today… t.co/gVi1FGmIt… t.co/Z5X2KxoyT…

Today is a Dan &amp; Toni Instagram takeover! D&amp;T were married at Beechmont recently and today… t.co/xgbe0qXZV… t.co/psOEWeYh7…

Today is a Dan &amp; Toni Instagram takeover! D&amp;T were married at Beechmont recently and today… t.co/uyUXTDO5W… t.co/Gc7jAsV6K…

My thoughts on why you should support White Magazine’s Kickstarter t.co/8J8yTCpcz… t.co/M8WMu73Qi…

Today is a Dan &amp; Toni Instagram takeover! D&amp;T were married at Beechmont recently and today… t.co/Z5uJNjX1w… t.co/AZyarPkRp…

My thoughts on why you should support White Magazine’s Kickstarter t.co/gk6In4TsM… t.co/uLtxnlDdc…

Today is a Dan &amp; Toni Instagram takeover! D&amp;T were married at Beechmont recently and today… t.co/ky7T9Wv8M… t.co/77HrkcRY1…

Today is a Dan &amp; Toni Instagram takeover! D&amp;T were married at Beechmont recently and today… t.co/ZC5pgkLhK… t.co/dbGVQdqqg…

I backed @flyshark_iLepo on @kickstarter and got my new foldable Bluetooth keyboard in today’s mail t.co/xIVjsq4Q4…

|| Daniel &amp; Toni were married at Beechmont recently and today Toni’s taking over my Instag… t.co/WBlkfxyzb… t.co/lQ8nn9NOC…

ANZ internet banking down earlier today, Bankwest this afternoon, related?

No it hasn’t, @Scotty_McDonald t.co/1HyFzOqTs…

I think it’s sad that Japan is slowly but surely redefining what it means to have “a whale of a time”.

#Repost by the lovely and awesome @millyjanephotography ・・・ A ceremony with @joshuawithers… t.co/uvGSR5TWN… t.co/X1tvOWU7X…

So, what’s the go with Just Jeans having things other than jeans?

One of these planes is not like the other ones 🎶 @qantas t.co/GkDPc5tFr… t.co/nSTBgoLdB…

Truth be told, I spend most wedding ceremonies wondering what ridiculous face the wedding … t.co/Pkws5Bgiv… t.co/8kyUcbBN4…

George + Jodi #marriedbyjosh #saraistopless #saraistoplesswedding t.co/f3qWJi6gS… t.co/UxC7NJPr0…

25,000 protestors + a DJ + a wedding = the first wedding to be directly affected by climate change @… t.co/9X72HPiZp…

Sydney’s not looking good today though :/ t.co/lAwWV4ULS…

And this weekend’s adventure continues t.co/58nyEe60s… t.co/OpWhLameV…

We call this piece “forgot the rings”

wilde.visual @morgancroberts @popupwed @snow_withers… t.co/QaK4Tv6uV…

Same for the taxi industry as well I think t.co/B0Q0xp8Wi…

Gay because they look good? t.co/ogwT5ceDh…

Jade + Liam #marriedbyjosh t.co/JmlfYKENl… t.co/joizaKEXm…

Jade &amp; Liam #marriedbyjosh at @embiggenbooks! #melbournewedding #melbournecelebrant #bookstore… t.co/8YSu0t7Gw…

Today’s wedding location is awesome t.co/u0KKLS6tr… t.co/qZrVS9kgV…

So thankful this weekend. Three amazing couples being wed in three spectacular &amp; unique ceremonies in three states. Qld yesterday, Vic today

Are there any support groups I can join for liking new Justin Bieber songs?

I used hairspray as anti-perspirant today, so I’m off to a good start. Melbourne bound now!

A two year old phone in today’s paper t.co/1j9jnbREI…

Brendan + Kylie #marriedbyjosh at @ecostudiofellini with @millyjanephotography! t.co/86MzHmpjC… t.co/gIIOA0HqC…

Brendan &amp; Kylie #marriedbyjosh #rockoutwithyoursocksout @ Ecostudio Fellini t.co/qoInGoKNX…

Tara + Will #marriedbyjosh! t.co/EqOu0HIUB… t.co/87hOm7XGu…

When life gives you hot air from an exhaust fan @ Palm Beach Qld t.co/EhML9Tazu…

Is it all BS, or am I accidentally “big on LinkedIn”?

Plus a friend request from a breakfast TV host

I just opened it for my monthly “clearing of the notifications” &amp; there’s the former media CEO endorsing me for a skill I don’t have

Is LinkedIn a thing?

The problem isn’t that life is unfair — it’s that you don’t know the rules t.co/4bVbmX62d…

How it is in the ‘hood t.co/LBjDFbcyA…

Pope Francis: Christmas is a ‘Charade’ this year t.co/olzElaGu3…

“We’re raising our prices on Black Friday, and here’s why.” by @woodthumb t.co/lzMtOVBz7…

Can you even be insane in the membrane? Or were Cypress Hill just singing a lyric that rhymed?

Same-sex couple becomes first to be featured in weddings section of Queensland newspaper t.co/yfnC7Lh1e…

Making sure I’m going to be as hot as @avantgeorge on his wedding day t.co/TTXChel4H… t.co/xyVuKculO…

I spend far too many hours each week trying to convince #steviewithers to cuddle with me t.co/SKFbkH8eF… t.co/QwYd1nU1p…

Natalie &amp; Daniel #marriedbyjosh and holograph we by @etherealphotography 😬 t.co/PfB70KJZ7… t.co/vOXhsSI2h…

About to talk #samesexmarriage and #commitmentceremonies on @612brisbane

The Jenner that made vaccination viral t.co/ir2hLyRMt…

‘An Apple Store employee said that at one point the deranged sword wielding man yelled “I just want an iPhone!“’ t.co/T8pW32tPl…

My Watch just crashed. What a time to be alive.

Kyle &amp; Emily #marriedbyjosh and killing it at #boomerang 😁 @ Wilson’s Outlook t.co/QxJilcoSf…

Kyle &amp; Emily, teenage sweethearts, they’ve known each other since they were kids, and toda… t.co/DT3HJDEFk… t.co/P2HMmNYAa…

#Repost @storiesbyash ・・・ Chrisney &amp; Adam, just married and braving some crazy heat yester… t.co/qJ9McSMRz… t.co/PF67pvC1B…

Gratitude, the secret elixir to not frowning heaps t.co/pVhpatU5Y…

When you’re trying to Skype with couple’s and the family loves you @ Gold Coast, Queensland t.co/AOjfRKtgj…

BREAKING: journalists dedicate front page of their collective works to journalists talking about journalists t.co/r4Qw2EIw0…

Coffee, it’s like an ambulance in a cup t.co/3Ela8iRBB…

Nath &amp; Kel #marriedbyjosh @ Sanctuary Cove, Queensland t.co/kLVaUsoPu…

Adam + Chrisney #marriedbyjosh at @bris_powerhouse with @storiesbyash and arcticfoxhire @ BRISBANE… t.co/SMnvhDr19…

Everything you wanted to know about Finstagram, the Fake Instagram t.co/FPxZUldgg…

Tis' the season to be tying wooden bows t.co/9L9w72Y7x… t.co/bFayTqwks…

Remember when uber used to mean cool/awesome/great instead of #fucktaxis

Talyn &amp; Keehnan #marriedbyjosh t.co/sdOYfRiKe… t.co/S9nL034io…

Taken &amp; Keehnan #marriedbyjosh on #mounttamborine at #cedarcreeklodges cedarcreeklodges… t.co/cllLQ656n…

7pm wedding on a heatwave day, don’t mind if I do 😁 do you like the new #woodenbowtie? t.co/uIIXUwKtk… t.co/pGs58dsCU…

So Apple Pay has launched in Australia, is this news or did I miss it? t.co/cfzz9Cj7M…

Thanks 2 @FakeAshPunch’s reminder, today we celebrate 4yr ago that @russellcrowe awkwardly asked “Is Joshua there?” t.co/Qa7NetqSo…

Love the Gold Coast 😘 t.co/eCvOnef6R… t.co/B3UH4qT9P…

My first Christmas party of the year, the Gold Coast Central Chamber of Commerce Christmas… t.co/8xwJcyWc1… t.co/EZEEGHmcE…

The postman is a busy #bowtie deliverer this week!! Thanks @olly.design! t.co/MANqy6Yai… t.co/3v0AFtO4m…

If you know a Josh Withers in the UK, let the good chap know won’t you. t.co/VboLowZFp…

This week he starts work at the Amazon UK distribution centre and I’m pretty sure he won’t know where the Amazon bus will pick him up from.

It’s been fun watching his journey, eBay purchases through to job applications.

For a while now, some poor guy in the UK has being giving out one of my old Gmail email addresses as his own.

In today’s mail!!! Something sweet from @devur_jewelry #woodenbowtie #bowtie #mensstyle #g… t.co/SCgJhLGrw… t.co/77ce2RaNs…

“Take some time today to stop and smell the non-description trees” - #AggieWithers t.co/B7dyn2nXL…

Nat &amp; DAN #marriedbyjosh! t.co/qDaECH7Bn… t.co/ufM7bqMhZ…

I miss you, chopper @ Prospect Studios t.co/4BZYO76of…

The one word that can completely change your wedding vows for the better t.co/kT7lpUrmk… t.co/o84emRFTA…

One word that makes your wedding vows better t.co/eUhM3tfCm…

I just yelled “get to the chopper!” but there was only a car. So I guess that’s my life now. Miss you, chopper.

You’re looking good today Brisbane! t.co/fNU8wBaTS…

Thousands of new cars coming into Brisbane t.co/W415NyiVK…

This is kind of like the first time you fly business class, you can’t go back to economy a… t.co/xC29AGyCO… t.co/MYwDXC7xn…

Craig and Vicki #marriedbyjosh @ Tangalooma Island Resort t.co/GJqOESLzO…

Lui &amp; Angie #marriedbyjosh // Tap your heels three times for love t.co/6Mu5wJJZA…

See ya Brisbane, I’ll be back in two hours. I’m Tangalooma bound! t.co/fXjEHuwFU…

I’m about to catch a ferry to Tangalooma and I’ve got a 12:15 helicopter back to Brisbane – but it’s pouring.

Can helicopters fly in the rain? Is it safe? Is that a stupid question?

Every time @imyke says “Hey Siri” on a podcast while I’m driving &amp; listening, my iPhone is all like, “Yo, Mike, long time no speak, waddup?”

Dear, City of Love, please love.

“One week ago today I stood on a box and married the love of my life” is now my favourite … t.co/W0Ydld8RT… t.co/bvcZJMfJE…

New York is getting an underground park. Of course. t.co/2uXLy2bLB…

Mark &amp; Gemma #marriedbyjosh! #brisbanecelebrant @ Lightspace Brisbane t.co/06e0ebntG…

On a dark desert highway, cool wind in my hair, warm smell of colitas, rising up through t… t.co/pg6qwCeUf… t.co/RV1OAgeyj…

Dave &amp; Belle #marriedbyjosh #goldcoastcelebrant t.co/vD04PS1Ew… t.co/S7eptUdQd…

Annual @easyweddings survey of 2200 cpls actually entering into marriage (as opposed to old white men) reveals 79% support marriage equality

Do you even tweet, bro?

New neck bling by @bug_accessories! #bowtie #woodenbowtie t.co/QcyQBa0EN… t.co/3Ng4oH9H6…

I’m at @sheratongoldcoast for Belle &amp; Dave’s wedding today, but all I can think about is t… t.co/eT0fdvCAe… t.co/mAgsADaec…

A nerdy solution to snoring? t.co/pXmjo0nCY…

Nine Quiet Exercises You Can Do In Your Hotel Room Without Any Equipment t.co/Asgt58FFQ…

“Daydreaming has a bad reputation - scientists are beginning to realise that a wandering mind might be beneficial.” t.co/9WO55fH0w…

The Simple Technique To Fit A 40-Hour Workweek Into 16.7 Hours t.co/KCVS1xNJ2…

Need help? I’m holding Officehours: t.co/uzRPzgPGB…

Honestly. Screw hover boards.

He’s currently having a nap, he’s the white top on the ground on the right

What a time to be alive. You can watch Shai LaBeouf watch every single Shia LaBeouf movie non-stop t.co/RViBiySbr… #allmymovies

Hardest part of celebrancy is preparing a funeral service … funeral celebrancy is definitely a calling, not a job

Massive list of things that are probably worth considering so u can smile once every now and then - @BenjaminPHardy t.co/hRqONphDy…

So proud to be featured on Wedding Chicks! t.co/309t3v0Tb…

Looking at this photo from this epic location my brain gets out it’s best Dale Kerrigan im… t.co/soWNnTqc3… t.co/2b0uLOLu8…

In today’s “Nate’d school pickup podcast” Nate goes to dance class and he’s invented a new breakfast cereal t.co/JnBnJhJcC…

In today’s school pickup podcast Nate goes to dance class and he’s invented a new breakfast cereal t.co/gfqSB3g4y…

New bow tie day! She’s beautiful! #bowtie #ollydesign #perspexbowtie t.co/KAb2MAAn9…

Kind of excited about finding out what Australia is getting for the War On Christmas this year!

“Work” as we know it, is dead, done, dusted t.co/Ix315thlJ…

A podcast that my 9 year old cousin, Nate, is making, with my help: t.co/iwEMSNmoA…

Listening to “Nate’s learning about advertising” by Nate’s Pickup From School Podcast via @omnyapp t.co/Pka86yC1S…

When you try to add a podcast to the iTunes Store on an iPhone t.co/rssomZgct…

I told him that in 2015 there’s only room for one podcast to go viral per year.

You’ve never seen a grade four student more excited when there’s a possibility they’ll “go viral”

For a while I’m picking my cousin Nate up from school. He’s quite the talker, our drive home has become a podcast t.co/GPmbNJW4y…

“Nothing kills a buzz faster than having to be responsible for the welfare of small childre… t.co/SsECskhvm… t.co/uuhtvQVmj…

Home is where the Britt is 🤗 t.co/bmEfjcUCd… t.co/UxLCGp3uj…

Happy that new 2am “last drink” laws don’t affect me.

Sad that 2am “last drink” laws don’t affect me.

Old age.

A mother, and guest, begs “Please don’t invite my kids to your wedding” t.co/yztjuboTV…

I think i have a bow tie thing t.co/koKHOEwkd… t.co/7bSXa2EVC…

Nicest traffic jam I’ve been stuck in for a while t.co/IpSsG1XUW… t.co/wiQPGjZti…

Nicest traffic jam I’ve been stuck in for a while @ Rochedale, Queensland, Australia t.co/jOTm5cGGs…

Why are there?? @ Brisbane Gateway Motorway t.co/cleGPQdlF…

#daveandbrooke #marriedbyjosh t.co/lxtABB60G… t.co/uBUqJLVwT…

And then #daveandbrooke were #marriedbyjosh at caprioleestate with @laraandsusie on hand for photos… t.co/K8ool3jnR…

Talk about moving away from tradition. I’m not sure if this is right but it looks like Bro… t.co/7CzWtuRah… t.co/ninr6Y056…

When you get your own sign 😁 t.co/yo1rbD0EQ… t.co/RRyiPFBrn…

I’ve got a morning to kill tomorrow, help a brother out, where’s the best breakfast on the… t.co/wBqeDN0Fv… t.co/3ufEzGfLP…

Just a sneaky catchup with Queensland’s #1 ABIA award winning celebrant, Bill Scurry! Anyo… t.co/tdIjGmY45… t.co/hmsCsZu4b…

Gus &amp; Willabelle #marriedbyjosh at #flaxtongardens! #montvillecelebrant t.co/A57sp3W97… t.co/ZT2LMx6UU…

Amazon’s retail bookstore.

Next, Google telephone directory, Hotmail PO Boxes, Qantas horse &amp; carriage, &amp; Microsoft’s timber office desk.

Photographers, and appreciators of photography will like this t.co/QTkbSKxoc… t.co/GoMrMyqeH…

She seems intent on putting her hand down my throat. Maybe I’m the first human she’s met w… t.co/g0GdLQ2th… t.co/6pkR4op1D…

I stole the heir to the @lemontreefilm throne! #lemontreekid t.co/Oi6k2Lb6G…

“When sending emails from your phone, you’re forgiven for typos, but not for a lack of thoughtfulness.” t.co/Iq1G7mwbZ…

Search for Josh and you’ll find me there.

Apple News has decided that an ugly green is the best way to represent my wedding blog t.co/DrpPwEdKd…

#HighChurch with my @seeeyewear and @morgancroberts taking photos #SEEhappycamper #brisban… t.co/ielGYBShy… t.co/aUGXv1ZT1…

A coffee with Heart &amp; Colour t.co/0A1rEliHj…

Shit got real at Drew and Steph’s wedding after I left. Glad to see they made it out alive.… t.co/Fd2Iij71Y… t.co/FbAm29LZ0…

In case you’re not sick of me yet, listen to Han’s podcast where I’m interviewed about cele… t.co/Jtc1BdlRv… t.co/afsvUREFs…

The 37 Basic Plots, According to a Screenwriter of the Silent-Film Era t.co/iuC2wxey4…

I’m on Hans' podcast, if you desire to listen to my voice for an hour or so :) t.co/VlPJ5YFyp…

Every time I see a photo of me doing the thing I do for work, I honestly just wonder: how … t.co/5IGckMdnk… t.co/neiwnS9I9…

“Josh is the best of the best! Adam and I feel sorry for anyone else who doesn’t have Josh… t.co/RM5JE5Vkt… t.co/Mbu0cULgg…

“We loved our wedding ceremony!! Josh was easy going and down to earth and created THE BES… t.co/4BKWiHEqH… t.co/h8xClgtkI…

“We DO NOT speak in public and it’s actually my biggest fear in life but josh somehow inst… t.co/ikGRjFMZu… t.co/8gi0rsGrc…

Bill Gates: ‘We Need an Energy Miracle’ t.co/us5yEYIG3…

The ratings world we live in has turned customers into terrifying bosses t.co/EEMxJNFhP…

Who wore it better? t.co/ec3hFpvvX… t.co/Ysu4c6ZyP…

Me!

Photo by @trentandjessie at the #goldcoastpopupwedding at @cedarcreekestate #leather… t.co/vNHs2MuKd… t.co/6US9B7eOG…

A refugee committed suicide at Brisbane airport last week … spend a few seconds to hear his story t.co/3CfOOlALk…

Flipping the ring finger, this should be more of a thing. Why isn’t this a thing? @jessewa… t.co/tJaYegm1d… t.co/efmdk2eOJ…

Modern adult thug lyf t.co/15qOnCw0V…

Google’s storming into the podcast world intent on ruining the open podcasting world, and making it closed t.co/e3m9vs8Zw…

Apparently I spend too much time in Robina so I think everything is there.

Should I intervene? It seems rude. But ruder that he’s being ripped off. Also, it’s the Pacific Fsir store, not Robina.

Older customer in the Robina @NextByte store is currently being conned into buying the old #AppleTV when he asked for the new one.

It’s the weekend!!! t.co/h9QzYnT3v… t.co/LK4TuodqA…

You’re not just somebody’s kid. You’re somebody - “Why You Need To Move Away From Your Home Town” by @isaacmorehouse t.co/TzbkWpMVh…

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Courtney and Rob are planning a “Christmas” but not really Christmas wedding t.co/6hSSWQOY4… t.co/Gt1R1C6I7…

A wedding isn’t supposed to test you, or challenge you, or tire you, or stretch you, or br… t.co/VUnjUB3lt… t.co/gLoFjYf8T…

A wedding isn’t supposed to test you, or challenge you, or tire you, or stretch you, or br… t.co/VUnjUB3lt… t.co/xHKGBomsN…

A wedding isn’t supposed to test you, or challenge you, or tire you, or stretch you, or br… t.co/VUnjUB3lt… t.co/Vht4bFASI…

A wedding isn’t supposed to test you, or challenge you, or tire you, or stretch you, or br… t.co/VUnjUB3lt… t.co/uFqXg1jmk…

A wedding isn’t supposed to test you, or challenge you, or tire you, or stretch you, or br… t.co/VUnjUB3lt… t.co/wDC7CH0N9…

This gig takes me to some pretty amazing places t.co/dQiXEaIWz… t.co/P1JsrF6A9…

Plan a wedding that smells like Christmas t.co/okaUnzh7m…

#Repost @popupwed || FRIDAY || it was epic! We married these two in secret in front of a h… t.co/jq4DLptk1… t.co/mxjOwCSLM…

🇳🇿🐺🏉🏆🇳🇿🐺🏉🏆🇳🇿🐺🏉🏆🇳🇿🐺🏉

Wallabies, they don’t pay ‘em to sing.

Something intense happening in Kangaroo Point #bnenews t.co/fb2DtWXHK…

Apple Watch Day 5: I still feel like Dick Tracey. t.co/qeLgKTt7y…

The best case for a new Australian flag yet - spend 60 seconds to read through this explanation t.co/xMfRkNz1W… // @goldwattleflag

We’ve been playing with the Google Cardboard VR “goggles” this morning. Simply amazeballs! t.co/ygZCK3wEW… t.co/vKiPPAbYl…

#steviewithers looking you up and down t.co/EPylb8Fo7…

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I received another sweet award in the mail today 😁😁😁 - thanks WOMO t.co/SmJ61NHRz… t.co/lPqRd5sMp…

A wedding isn’t supposed to test you, or challenge you, or tire you, or stretch you, or break you. It’s supposed to celebrate you.

I’ve been asked to mystery shop for a friend while he’s on holidays. I’ve spent my whole l… t.co/lvS4NyLuY… t.co/StSsIwNrU…

Secret #byronbay #elopement! #byronbaycelebrant #byronbayelopement t.co/pLUpC92OP… t.co/DmNj8lwxh…

Inside the Secretive World of Elite Wealth Management t.co/jaYv7iHAv…

I just counted eight police cars heading west on the Robina Parkway, heading towards the M1

35min of Steve Molk peeling back my skin &amp; letting the #HumansOfTwitter peer inside my world t.co/DXxdzpawW… t.co/J6LquEthv…

Han hosts a podcast about celebrations and he interviews me on this week’s show! Listen here t.co/SgUJsYFcY… t.co/PuA9hQPgH…

Soon!!! #TV #ProspectStudios t.co/pJpnwCwhj… t.co/vxME5964s…

138.54

Science proves that salad makes you fat … by way of post-kale-indulgence t.co/1znoJE09f…

They came t.co/OAYxdUnWd…

The last DVD/CD store still open in my area has been replaced with a travel store, see u later (aptly named), Sanity t.co/y0Ck9h3Z5…

Now that I’ve been pranked, Depend has me on their marketing list. I imagine every week I'… t.co/CZuQpol2r… t.co/90PhTjDty…

I feel like when I die, and I go to Cupertino for the afterlife, Steve will now welcome me… t.co/Tpbo1faBN… t.co/L45bCeHCy…

Two years ago next month, when I first left radio for full-time self-employment, I. Was re… t.co/ClH4S1fsq… t.co/6TcErv9IT…

The top 10 things that can go wrong at your wedding t.co/8Z18Vx6dw…

Do you even coffee, bro? @ Zarraffas t.co/9BcFkDQ7J…

I searched and I searched and I searched and eventually I found a six year old photographe… t.co/zMX1znF6q… t.co/QIl6rsIVr…

One year ago @lukejleasure and @hellomalloryanne took this photo of @hellobrittanyjane and… t.co/0qo301ard… t.co/k0iIPe2KQ…

Brett + Jenna #marriedbyjosh at the #goldcoastpopupwedding at @cedarcreekwine with @popupw… t.co/PFmURF5GD… t.co/BeNSm2Kx4…

Tim @lvnsfinest and jessewatego #marriedbyjosh #timandjessiesbigday #brisbanecelebrant @ Alexander… t.co/weu6wLk7E…

#Lego + #Ironman + #bowtie = awesome t.co/RfHnuVyVv…

Getting our growl on at cedarcreekestate on a Sunday morning with @popupwed @trentrouillon… t.co/8H2o7mkLj…

Millo + Taya #marriedbyjosh! t.co/xX8zHWj9B…

Millo (the groom) and I are both rocking @twoguysbowties #bow ties today! #woodenbowtie #b… t.co/vMebv4qzh… t.co/iaxuiZet8…

I’m a guest on a wedding business podcast, I think you’ll enjoy it! t.co/hgIpDY2w0… t.co/YmrvFiSs3…

#aggiewithers #steviewithers t.co/JiJqi21ct…

“And that nice Maltese girl that (my mother) wanted me to marry? Well his name is Duncan.” t.co/zdF4k76Im…

This epic Perth elopement is on the @WhiteMagazine blog today!!! Justin &amp; Annika #marriedb… t.co/GbKVEIPZp… t.co/2Zp9vOE4E…

Ben Clark ‘Sharknadoed’ Drew and Steph’s wedding t.co/6dERlR1Nr…

I’m in love with a #3dprintedbowtie @ Boomerang Farms Golf Course t.co/SNBdMjufN…

Imagine Tina Turner and Jimmy Barnes singing whilst reading this t.co/QdVLHLnbn… t.co/uVCxVeppo…

Justine + Jason’s O’Reilly’s Rainforest Retreat Wedding #marriedbyjosh, shot by Lara and Susie t.co/uFHR8IwBY…

I certainly have friends I can Depend® on t.co/fTyNByxff… t.co/z1YlIYGlW…

There’s a few levels of greatness in this tweet, but the best part is sharing the password t.co/HfBKHqrLN…

In Full Sail as We Head for Open Water t.co/3TmcwnqCK…

Listening to episode 65 of the @evolveyourweddingbusiness #podcast - where I’m the guest!!… t.co/MQt8NE3Sz… t.co/LzHvsPgPH…

I’m a guest on the “Evolve your wedding business” podcast! t.co/evxjNqMIY…

#bnestorm #wewillrebuild #prospectstudios t.co/Z2y7tG6xy… t.co/J1MMFygHe…

It’s the @lightspacebrisbane wedding open night tonight from 6pm at #lightspacebrisbane!! … t.co/c8TTES9rt… t.co/CuI40PU29…

The most humbling of opportunities as a #marriagecelebrant is when a couple celebrate thei… t.co/m04jds59s… t.co/qwdpkmmFd…

Justine and Jason’s wedding photo slideshow #marriedbyjosh at Moonlight Crag, photos by Lara &amp; Susie! t.co/g0c4y8lNF…

Sane John’s latest TV advert really leaves feeling quite whelmed t.co/iPslEevSF…

Episode 65: Confronting Sexism In The Wedding Industry with Josh Withers | Evolve Your Wedding Business Podcast t.co/kBag3LFUf…)

Business idea: release an awesome movie in 2015 where we travel forward in time to 2045 and make some predictions about 2045. Then we wait.

As the owner of most Josh Withers related emails &amp; domain names, I get so many mis-addressed emails I get. t.co/2KgGDmKqv…

Why you always see wedding professionals banging on about unplugged weddings t.co/U0W3Lntof… t.co/GV3BplvZq…

I, for one, couldn’t care less about our new Red overlord.

Cute? #3dprintedbowtie #bowtie t.co/VnY3t88OZ… t.co/ju8YODNBG…

Tara &amp; Kurt #marriedbyjosh with @popupwed and @aaronshumphotography making photos at #city… t.co/D91OSFFNK… t.co/uHMnZbCaQ…

I’m lead to believe that #noselfie is the new #selfie … because #producthunt said so. We… t.co/NMbW00iPk… t.co/0ySVrrT3u…

Tonight’s light reading, Sharon Givoni’s book I picked up after her session at #unbilledbr… t.co/oSqmLI2G1… t.co/gl845Q8zu…

And boom, @OvercastFM screams to the top of the App Store @marcoarment t.co/nYzeuQlWZ…

I’ve been awarded a WIPA three diamond award and I’m pretty bloody proud t.co/4a9LqkvlL… t.co/gtdP5owVL…

I’m really hoping something spectacular happens at 4:29pm god damnit

You probably see a lot of us in the #weddingindustry banging on about #unpluggedweddings -… t.co/sN1Ik0dYU… t.co/JtZM9eNME…

Why are we all so passionate about unplugged weddings? t.co/YFgIIFUbO… t.co/HNdXz1uhs…

A crazy and weird and amazing idea when it comes to changing your name through marriage t.co/AW4zTZqWY… t.co/RolO2ngTP…

Young Joe Hockey excitingly deflating a balloon. Isn’t the Internet just glorious? Bye Felicia. t.co/Z1e1mMoyk…

AAAAAAY MACARENA t.co/VbUymgZPS…

The City Botanic gardens are a sweet sweet place to make out with your favourite human in … t.co/JqEf1fsKg… t.co/VUcdCIBJD…

If You’re Not Paranoid, You’re Crazy - a good read on the data being collected on us today t.co/H12AadhLv…

“Josh, you absolutely made our day. We couldn’t have asked for anyone better to celebrate … t.co/wA7dpOEKc… t.co/CLB7sFFm9…

Richard Branson throws the UN a get-out-of-bureaucracy free card t.co/TnC6FVWxo…

Brides, photoshopped, throwing cats. t.co/FIOCI1X1A… t.co/ptbL0rmIo…

Laughter is the shortest distance between two souls || Kelly + Shaun #marriedbyjosh at the… t.co/YK4YLBbvr… t.co/sMWBGl3db…

Longform Reprints: Playboy Interview: Steve Jobs by David Sheff t.co/BLxf90Y4K…

We made a hat for #steviewithers out of @hellobrittanyjane’s sock. She really likes it. #c… t.co/a19ww9GNb… t.co/KsrjzZVso…

NEW BOW TIE! #3dprintedbowtie #bowtie t.co/VnPxv7NL0… t.co/CcDgesxT0…

A crazy and weird and amazing idea when it comes to changing your name through marriage t.co/jPP1oCDHN…

Crash southbound on the Bruce Highway just before the beginning of the Gateway, two right lanes closed t.co/fTFVSZMMd…

Alex &amp; Lisa #marriedbyjosh at @SpicersAust #spicersclovellyestate t.co/DMQcSy5AF…

I’m at @spicersclovellyestate for Alex &amp; Lisa’s wedding today! Can’t wait to be back here … t.co/P7S7XyX2N… t.co/Vf3SELVnH…

Today on my blog, something glorious: brides throwing (photoshopped) cats 🐱 the direct lin… t.co/9Vs5eyXXk… t.co/nLyLQjcql…

And now for something completely different t.co/XZKcOhVbW…

These feet have really covered some ground over the past year but it wasn’t until I walked… t.co/ynKsvMkna… t.co/QEqs7dmgY…

That moment where you cease being two kids in love and become husband and wife. It’s quite… t.co/7lGKTe6Cv… t.co/QMMBQVZcq…

Time for another game of “what was Josh saying here?” || 📷 by @morgancroberts at the #bris… t.co/bq2qBrawO… t.co/AmXOJfZSe…

#unbilledbris t.co/tKOBMfcEY…

Getting a really good day of business learning squeezed into a day full of meetings as well! Loving @Unbilled_com_au conf! #unbilledbris

See my article in the @dailymail? Thanks for the chat @dailymailau - I’ll put the link in … t.co/3KWFOTbad… t.co/hRCAtx6Be…

New irony podcast! t.co/8Hbdal5D8…

Learning about the law for creative nerds at #unbilledbris

#unbilledbris asked us ‘creative types’ to be in the city by 8:30am on a Sunday. I’m impre… t.co/81JmSaIJV… t.co/91Qy1l4P4…

Chris and Clare #marriedbyjosh in Hawaii with The Pop Up Wedding Co. &amp; Reece &amp; Renee with Opihi Love! t.co/ckgLP1rtM…

😄 @popupwed with @morgancroberts &amp; @packaperfectparty at @highchurchbrisbane t.co/4ts0NxNNS… t.co/r37YsB1eJ…

Tomorrow! #unbilledbris t.co/v8Gjs6ZEO…

Drew &amp; Steph #marriedbyjosh!! #brisbanecelebrant #brisbanewedding #celebrant #celebrantsel… t.co/JLcY0hTVF… t.co/Ip7KvxYAH…

At @gcairport this morning a @JetstarAirways passenger flew off the handle t.co/ToSFMjFiQ…

Rockin my Ronald McDonald socks for #mchappyday #ronaldmcdonald t.co/tqAHFgwER… t.co/aiOuHM41Q…

And while I’m in the air you’ve got to see Chris &amp; Clare’s #hawaii #elopement on the @whit… t.co/sihwRfxHU… t.co/HWM51E5Vc…

I’m much too tired and ugly this morning to post a real photo of me, so I’ll regram this h… t.co/GR4FFMIo1… t.co/yFNmfjLHV…

The best thing about hanging out with photographers all the time? I get awesome photos of … t.co/lA3HhkyYq… t.co/y7y9GKtj2…

Adam + Michelle #marriedbyjosh at #bradleyhead amphitheatre on #sydneyharbour - what a day… t.co/8ECClwkNy… t.co/KqWebpHUl…

I love that I can fly 680km, drive 18km, walk 200m, and 60 seconds later have a perfect sp… t.co/BApHNodzM… t.co/plApu5qk7…

Today’s office is pretty spectacular. You might remember it from a wedding photo that went… t.co/7ToKfUU0c… t.co/wnCNR1poi…

The poor guy looked so conflicted.

Walked out of my hotel, opened Uber &amp; saw that there was a 15 min delay with a 1.5x surge so I got in the taxi waiting. He knows the deal.

So @MolksTVTalk and I are more often in different cities or countries at the same time than we are at home.

Lunch with my favourite Day t.co/0GIQ4PKDr… t.co/vpIWu7C8k…

Hey @Qantas could all those LCD monitors in the baggage collection area in Sydney be used for “your flight is on this carousel”

Fancy Qantas boarding at GC Airport t.co/UqtZyi6wC…

After a massive day yesterday we still had smiles. Eight Couple’s said yes to marriage at … t.co/SSeItzSKi… t.co/UuOKyCNRZ…

The Fascinating Afterlives of Defunct Pizza Hut Buildings t.co/1n02ukEbd…

South || OOL ✈️ SYD t.co/9XAF9e28w… t.co/TDQTDwz0b…

Kyle &amp; Shannon #marriedbyjosh at #byronviewfarm #byronbaypopupwedding #popupwedding #byron… t.co/kMltKAy6M… t.co/YyHdGgE1N…

Darren &amp; Fay #marriedbyjosh at #byronviewfarm #byronbaypopupwedding #popupwedding #byronba… t.co/fQwkm9hAO… t.co/CehKaXZWM…

Gemma + Xavier #marriedbyjosh at #byronviewfarm #byronbaypopupwedding #popupwedding #byron… t.co/phF6MGjxO… t.co/S6AtcPFPt…

Daniel &amp; Danelle #marriedbyjosh at #byronviewfarm #byronbaypopupwedding #popupwedding #byr… t.co/BILPxPNjK… t.co/hilLDHlr4…

Steve &amp; Jodie #marriedbyjosh at #byronviewfarm #byronbaypopupwedding #popupwedding #byronb… t.co/i35nEihVn… t.co/eKkmzVwgX…

Hoping those blue skies do t go away, but if they do we get to use the best wet weather ba… t.co/22ByY9VJk… t.co/tWgUUZ9xu…

Tyron &amp; Ellie #marriedbyjosh at #byronviewfarm #byronbaypopupwedding #popupwedding #byronb… t.co/GG3OzX3LU… t.co/WF6xAgvey…

Nath &amp; Sal #marriedbyjosh at #byronviewfarm #byronbaypopupwedding #popupwedding #byronbayc… t.co/uvs6ROt9B… t.co/1nL5VRTTf…

I took Britt for a little getaway to Rainbow Beach, the Ocean Palms Resort, and I credit our… t.co/4BkhuzDGY… t.co/yOiA1n5ub…

I’m not the best husband, but here’s how I try to be t.co/hJQOri8rQ…

No it hasn’t. Your bot is broken, @Scotty_McDonald t.co/1Gis0PY3w…

That 12" MacBook USB-C hub that we’ve all been waiting for, isn’t coming :( t.co/QCoCkD9aW…

My father-in-law spends most of his day reading weather forecasts to me like I never spent a decade of my life doing that on the radio.

New report shows that Mars water still cheaper than Fiji Water.

Book Uber rides in advance! t.co/uwEY0sljY…

Apple doubles down on Thunderbolt and leaves out USB-C on new iMacs. I’m feeling like the new standard isn’t that. t.co/RaPuRkCaQ…

📷 @laurencampbell t.co/76x35Ivqn… t.co/qYwpxoiXk…

A little tip of the hat from the taxman for not annoying Britt too much throughout the last financial year t.co/KOfiWa9u7…

Some (hopefully) great advice on choosing an amazing marriage celebrant t.co/qGrCunnp2… t.co/T1pN0eHBo…

Choosing a celebrant, my WedTalk interview, four little segments you can watch! t.co/1qsNowsT6… t.co/uKgd2Ya7F…

Oh wow #history t.co/U8vFODrIY…

Off to Mosman this weekend t.co/25CezRd4v… t.co/oExGLYrcq…

During Ben and Stacey’s wedding ceremony I noticed that this flower’s stigma looked rather… t.co/Sy8d98fWa… t.co/l11XfWPhI…

Ben &amp; Stacey #marriedbyjosh in an awesome Monday #wedding with @beautifulweddingsaustralia… t.co/mQPoYzTRo… t.co/rblVQfKsQ…

“The obligatory selfie with Josh” t.co/z4MtgjTJ5… t.co/CPvSKFctm…

Celebrant shares the ten things that WILL go wrong at your wedding t.co/jbpirlhtI…

New neckwear for Tim &amp; Jess' wedding!! t.co/3l6IFQUun… t.co/gIWAYxw5B…

All the advantages of a moped, without the motor … t.co/5iEMFoFbM…

Always aim high when booking hotels t.co/CZs8jlqr2…

By the way - is there a hotel in the Sydney domestic airport grounds or are they all on the other side of the road?

Nothing says confidence in your hotel like 26 images of your hotel, and they’re all the same image t.co/iV4CJB4iO…

Very proud to see this in today’s mail, my certificate acknowledging my reaching the top t… t.co/gTRui8DfS… t.co/r1bSMsrPx…

Britt; waiting. For me. t.co/RHev8fnle… t.co/4gpC0VV7g…

Britt, waiting for me t.co/XX52LYoqP… t.co/WAbZbSUX3…

A desperate plea for something that really helps me out :) t.co/gNrotpaoJ… t.co/g4B0MgLb9…

Career advice from @featheranddocks t.co/TsCTOdzvv… t.co/nyaG3Rnno…

I wrote a thing for the Daily Mail that will make all mothers hate me for one more day t.co/iyjipbAfN…

The importance of celebrant reviews online t.co/1OGEJyqtE…

I Love Green Guide Letters with Steele Saunders: 190 : Marc Maron &amp; Dave Anthony - must listen t.co/TjmulSjpO…

I’m @SteeleSaunders’ celebrant soon, would really love some input from @marcmaron on the wedding ceremony.

Choosing the wrong street in Waze took these tourists to a gang neighbourhood where the wife was murdered t.co/09lrGUr8u…

The most annoying thing at weddings is when the dust has barely settled on the marriage ce… t.co/9X191aVwq… t.co/0aCALLset…

When you work with hundreds of photographers you’re not allowed to have favourites, but I'… t.co/Ialod8wba… t.co/INNoGl9Kn…

Tara &amp; Kurt #marriedbyjosh with @popupwed &amp; @aaronshumphotography in the #citybotanicgarde… t.co/3rJ06gCMp… t.co/QLBuyUwal…

Here comes the jive! t.co/JQmddS9sk… t.co/EMOiNnTlT…

Guy playing guitar on the Beenleigh M1 overpass. Tell us your story footbridge musician legend!

Breakfast with Taree radio’s best this morning t.co/YLRQlrdDG… t.co/BIfK32xOK…

I finally got a commercial radio award! I didn’t win it, but possession is 9/10ths of the … t.co/MOdjGNefK… t.co/OPbvoA6ey…

This little 10 story building on Hanlan Street isn’t a skyscraper by modern standards, but… t.co/N2ZvLrzj0… t.co/iMkEQvPW3…

Easy Street Diner is a little taste of the USA on the Gold Coast! Super good to finally ge… t.co/iRPAKN2NJ… t.co/Z37ltmeGB…

9 months, 1 week, @marcoarment @atpfm #podcasting #overcast t.co/nLs3p5UQA…

We couldn’t agree on which face to make. Jay &amp; Tash #marriedbyjosh #brisbanecelebrant t.co/a1JrgTkTe… t.co/RUG52eimh…

Here’s a new phone I made, whatever t.co/zjnnQILiR…

As I trot around the country on any given weekend talking at peoples' weddings, my main th… t.co/Ci8ej8I8R… t.co/UOur9fBYP…

Emma &amp; Dave #marriedbyjosh!! #brisbanecelebrant t.co/ElFuAsEuA… t.co/urdWIzRBz…

Do the banks know that whoever launches with Apple Pay first will immediately see me get a credit card with them?

Some punk somewhere is about to experience shit getting real in quite the rapid fashion.

Squad of undercover Police cars furiously trying to head south on the M1 from Varsity Lakes Police Station.

I don’t know what kind of early-adopter-sin I’ve committed but FB &amp; Twitter both have features called moments and I can’t access either :/

They’re stealing ma' blood! t.co/xukEonbQj… t.co/bwesrMhYy…

A dead president favourited my tweet yesterday. This has great implications for Christian teachings.

HBO finally got me :( t.co/G22KT3jZu…

Life goal reached: memorised the @atpfm end of show song.

All I want is some really good advice on the best/easiest Wordpress Multisite host … thousands of stupid and useless blog posts in return.

Probably the worst thing about living in a 2015 world is that Google searches are full of perfectly useless, SEO-perfecrt, articles.

I, for one, welcome the new @Medium 2.0 update t.co/TzhvCVYhj…

#ScottysFirstHaircut t.co/ZCWKiKJ42… t.co/st5W9i6R7…

Taking @scottymcdonald to @barebonesoriginals for his very first trip to the barber #Scott… t.co/4FWwRx2Eg… t.co/5hXMAzDOz…

New Twitter game: Does @MarkDiStef gave a gif for that? How to play: you tweet Mark and if he has no gif for that, you win.

Happy @nicshields balloon day!! t.co/SbtFm77c7…

Sick burns as white guys battle it out for addressing the racial divide the best t.co/3S9lWVXxB…

Then I saw his face, now I’m a belieber.

I’ve fallen down the rabbit hole. I have seen Ju5tin B1eber’s p3n15 and I can never come back from this. Everywhere I look is JB P3N15.

I listened last night, and not only am I really good on it, @MolksTVTalk is pretty awesome too A++ would listen t.co/VWiiUgb2R…

We got the finger on the highway and it resulted in a blog post about weddings t.co/oIA28GHAv… t.co/3Ik8WuAls…

Possibly the best post-wedding email I’ve received: “Can we book you in for 10 years time when we decide to renew our vows?”

That’s in 30 minutes ;)

Download the Periscope free app - search for @wedvid - at 6pm you’ll get a notification!

At 6pm Wednesday I’m live on Periscope​ with Ellyse on t.co/7JGEwOjqM… Wednesday night wedding talk show, Wedtalk :)

|LIVE NOW| #meerkat t.co/EqhA9eBML…

ANZ report says same-sex marriage would add $500M to the economy in it’s first year via @ANZ_AU @ANZ_BlueNotes t.co/HL6DhrioA…

Exciting day for bookstores not stocking ever book ever published. Get back to me when you have EVERYTHING, @avidreader4101.

Listen to my interview on the @HumansOfTwitter podcast t.co/XJqxUVTaI…

Let your wedding guests know that you’ve changed the rules t.co/cRS4rcFzi…

Gympie has a sushi tram.

Gympie’s nice, for a town that floods annually

This is a great idea if you’re planning your own wedding! t.co/POWS75XZW… - thanks @offbeatbride!

Weirder than having a limo drive you? t.co/xCtOhD6qd…

We’re hanging out with dolphins!!! #tincanbaydolphinfeeding #tincanbay #rainbowbeach #rain… t.co/cTB6OuZmK… t.co/14fybxlUs…

Emma snapped this hot photo of my stunning wife while we were doing an elopement together … t.co/VpD5X9YTB… t.co/zNN5OSsMG…

📷 #photographer @emmahampton 👔 #bowtie @tiesdotcom 😎 #suit @blackjacketsuiting #menssty… t.co/KcBE426lx… t.co/d8HDrnYxr…

I have this weird desire to play Sierra PC games from the 90s

Nic &amp; Zoe #marriedbyjosh at #newfarmpark 📷 @willcampbellphoto #brisbanecelebrant #brisbane… t.co/4hIcS6QOs… t.co/2FmUg2XIL…

As cosey as #rainbowoceanpalmsresort is, part of me would rather be camping on #rainbowbea… t.co/vhKkMicBK… t.co/mtMh8tl3I…

The cliffs that give Rainbow Beach it’s name #rainbowbeach #rainbowoceanpalmsresort #thisi… t.co/BhBh5P9l9… t.co/giuGkZgtQ…

#rainbowbeach #rainbowoceanpalmsresort t.co/ywYmv7PcV… t.co/AbyWr1aZ5…

I could just sit out here on the balcony for weeks on end … back to the real world tomor… t.co/8iKJTEIuk… t.co/YwvPUWVyn…

Imagine, just for a second, one crazy second that you had a hat with the word “movies” on it t.co/NHJ1usp7d…

Poolside at #rainbowoceanpalmsresort #rainbowbeach t.co/NwNCWNGiC… t.co/KQeFZ3CpQ…

This is Queensland #thisisqueensland #thisisaustralia #rainbowbeach #rainbowoceanpalmsreso… t.co/xzTAhFcEC… t.co/KeaNazzYO…

4BC’s summer programming see’s @BenDavis74′s ‘drive’ show end before most drivers are driving home from work t.co/d9b3RaHFH…

Taxi drivers bashing Uber drivers … bring on the driverless cars soon please, this is crazy t.co/t8EfIrTgU…

Love getting feedback t.co/GGmpHtBQk…

“We attribute our success, as I say often, to stubbornness and stupidity” — exec. at a company that’s making money selling cassette tapes

#rainbowbeach #sandblow #rainbowoceanpalmsresort t.co/Qb9KYlGRz… t.co/xMIQ21hRc…

A few days away in a beautiful part of Australia this week :) #rainbowbeach t.co/80P7zYwCi…

#sandblow #rainbowbeach #rainbowoceanpalmsresort t.co/RRdVsJxwC… t.co/GkEyBLhaY…

#sandblow #rainbowbeach #rainbowoceanpalmsresort t.co/8kfZG2joW… t.co/XK1gnrZyi…

Mark from #rainbowoceanpalmsresort at #rainbowbeach invited @hellobrittanyjane and I up fo… t.co/WvYknEUut… t.co/H5GLZkzwD…

Taking Britt to Rainbow Beach for a two night getaway and the weather looks schweet! t.co/kd7gKSyrV…

When iiNet’s service is playing up, then you get a bill, so you put it in Quickbooks and OS X autocorrects it to Inept. Apple’s got my back.

My friend @MolksTVTalk makes a #podcast about the #HumansOfTwitter at @HumansOfThis and t.co/jrv4lpJeC… and I’m on it on Wednesday!

Dismal screening of some pre-recorded Footy Show bullshit after the #NRLGF. There goes my annual viewing of free-to-air TV.

All in all it’s pretty unfair to hold a State of Origin match and not invite the NSW team. But I’ll take the win.

In 3 hours time, when the stadium is empty they’ll bring their Broncos onto the field and release their confetti cannons #probably #NRLGF

Add this one to tomorrow’s playlists won’t you @HOTFMtownsville @4TOFM #NRLGF #ridemcowboys t.co/Mw6rdvdmx… @nthqldcowboys

Damn it feels good to be a #Queenslander #NRLGF #ridemcowboys

WE HAVE JUST FINISHED FOOTBALL AS WE KNOW IT. WE HAVE REACHED PEAK FOOTY #NRLGF #ridemcowboys

BEST GAME IN THE WHOLE WORLD. WE SHOULD ALL JUST STOP SPORTING NOW. #NRLGF #ridemcowboys

It’s like a stadium of feels #NRLGF #ridemcowboys

Almost having a freaking heart attack here

I’m calling for a review of the goal post painters. It’s definitely rigged #ridemcowboys #NRLGF

OHGJHNGBO

aAAATHKGMHFGGNBVBBHBGFGHGEDGYTGHHDGHHTGJHH

Could he have a harder kick? #nrlgf #ridemcowboys

The tension! #ridemcowboys #nrlgf

FUCCKKKKK

This is a ducking Eminem song lived out in football #NRLGF #ridemcowboys #obechanceoneopportunity

What a time to be alive #NRLGF #ridemcowboys

Holy fuck #ridemcowboys #NRLGF

20 minutes out, this is where Qld really starts playing football #NRLGF #ridemcowboys

The Cowboys are so hungry for this win. This is football worth watching. Thanks for sitting this one out, NSW #NRLGF #ridemcowboys

I don’t think ice seen two teams come into a #NRLGF with so much respect for each other

How have I never seen Thurston’s wings?! #NRLGF #ridemcowboys

THURSTON’S WINGS??!!?? #ridemcowboys #NRLGF

It’s really nice to see the NSWRL allowing is foreigners to have a win today #NRLGF

I wish the #NRLGF ads were better … Can’t we take a cue from the #SuperBowl? Cc @MolksTVTalk

Looking at Thurston’s face and you can just see ten years of “for the love of God, please” #ridemcowboys #NRLGF

The #bronxnation is getting nervous! That try was too easy! #ridemcowboys #NRLGF

That close! #ridemcowboys #nrlgf

Thurston is so damn keen to kick #ridemcowboys #nrlgf

Just so I’m on the record for 80 minute mark: #GoCowboys #NRLGF

A really hot way to get your wife in the mood is to do the serious-faced-bogan-dancing-to-Barnsey-at-a-wedding dance. She loves it #NRLGF

“Jimmy Barnes' songs named after other parts of Vietnam” is an album I’d like to see soon #NRLGF

Thanks for perpetuating the bogan/football thing with Barnsey, NRL #NRLGF

Dan Murphy lady: would you like a receipt? Me: no thanks, I can’t claim beer back on tax :) Lady: you need a new accountant

I’m thinking of moving to a company from a sole trader. Are there any Aussie startups providing services around that space? @CTAspley

Sarah &amp; @stefansedich got married today!! #marriedbyjosh t.co/Lwoyg87z5…

Hanging with a #brisbanewedding A-team today! Paul Collier on the decks, @kristina_childs … t.co/Koprvu4Ah… t.co/MBMVYuSQ6…

In light of my @easyweddings Certificate of Excellence award I received today I had a look… t.co/W5T2rCMLO… t.co/lFOo13Seg…

This just arrived in the post from @easyweddings! It’s truly awards season at the moment i… t.co/6dnaSR17o… t.co/vwGzhEq4O…

Peter &amp; Rowena #marriedbyjosh at @crowneplaza #SurfersParadise at their combined wedding c… t.co/BMPfQezJt… t.co/UKVyYkenw…

Nic &amp; Zoe #marriedbyjosh at #newfarmpark!! #newfarm #brisbane #brisbanewedding #brisbanece… t.co/VfXQwLKME… t.co/TPkQJTj2r…

Ryan &amp; Zarna #marriedbyjosh at the #brisbanebotanicgardens!! #brisbanecelebrant #brisbanew… t.co/v6eEzfhRN… t.co/X0i50Ugq3…

Anyone want an iPhone 6s Plus 128Gb?

I’m about to have three times as many iPhones as I desired. @Telstra Life is exciting! #TelstraLyf!

Update on my iPhone 6s Plus order: I pre-ordered 2, was told their was no pre-order, so bought 2, then 2 arrived, now 2 more on the way!

Apple Music is letting me down at a wedding today #AppleMusic @AppleMusic t.co/FDdHOYBDR…

There’s a Yoga expo at Brisbane’s Old Museum today. Getting me there would be a stretch.

I think I’m addicted to #woodenbowties - thanks for this cutie @peggyandfinn! #woodenbowti… t.co/fU5IAlLyq… t.co/KO16Et68C…

Between that and being awarded the highest wedding award in Australia, the WEOA three diamond award, it’s a good week for awards!

.@WOMOcomau just let me know that because my couples rated me 5 stars that I’ve won their 2015 Service Award! t.co/pDQgU0TLZ…

Conrad + Jess #marriedbyjosh!! t.co/dMnxn2BBy… t.co/HwgNi5x6O…

Fuelling up ☕️ (at @The_Single_Guys in Kenmore, QLD) t.co/Ritgmol2i…

When you have too many iPhone 6s Plus', is there a collective noun you could use to describe all of them?

All I wanted was two iPhone 6s Plus' for Britt and I. After pre-ordering two @Telstra said I had zero. Now, magically, I have four.

B, R, I, DOUBLE T, A, and N, and Y! t.co/M9ux9gl2k… t.co/e7j0h9okm…

Josh &amp; Jecelyn #marriedbyjosh at #tallebudgera #tallebudgeravalley with @popupwed @aaronsh… t.co/g0sOS2tre… t.co/mVjqPpOfw…

6am Friday morning MEL✈️OOL t.co/tklmPRXbF… t.co/b2jpSenIB…

You’ve tried @Uber Black and #uberx, but have you tried #Uber Back? t.co/GxStYrKOz… - by @CollectiveNoun_ t.co/2iVPgKxF2…

Cliffo &amp; Michelle #marriedbyjosh &amp; photographed by @millyjanephotography at the @storybrid… t.co/NF3hIUX2C… t.co/BxZJ5yqTr…

Our #geelongpopupwedding team of @hailsandshinephotography plus @hellobrittanyjane with th… t.co/hn9HSIFMg… t.co/soDifObdg…

Sarah + Lucas #marriedbyjosh at the #geelongpopupwedding! t.co/WoqmNYvxl… t.co/p3fmt642K…

Will + Tara #marriedbyjosh at the #geelongpopupwedding #popupwedding t.co/ENk51oyHo… t.co/NVW63so1y…

Natalie &amp; John #marriedbyjosh at the #geelongpopupwedding #popupwedding t.co/QyDCveo8V… t.co/XsAw4VoTq…

Trystan &amp; Balinda #marriedbyjosh at our #geelongpopupwedding at the #portarlingtonmill t.co/owgiZxXDe… t.co/9priY05q9…

A&amp;J eloped! #popupwedding #mariedbyjosh t.co/ch9YcbyX9… t.co/C8hCM186g…

Michael &amp; Renata #marriedbyjosh in secret at the #geelongpopupwedding!! #geelong #geelongw… t.co/BdRQbcGMr… t.co/lSgKD54hg…

We’re in a grand old building for today’s #popupwedding, the Portarlington Mill #geelongpo… t.co/4UZd6euEn… t.co/LOIeBRsd6…

Roman’s last name is Tera, so I found it a great pleasure to finally do a Tera-ble ceremon… t.co/cJVelZAOi… t.co/MwqP33FY8…

We’re in Geelong today for the #popupwedding! Our #geelongpopupwedding team is @hailsandsh… t.co/8cMzde42J… t.co/NzObHO8D5…

Status update: in regional Victoria and @Telstra’s computers thought we needed new SIM cards. Was kind enough to deactivate old ones. 😳

Seconds after getting a phone call from @Telstra about an iPhone preorder mixup my phone loses service. Did I do bad? t.co/0Nl7GFnkT…

Hello Geelong region

The sweet Janelle &amp; Dane #marriedbyjosh t.co/v1UvstPFa…

Proud to join the top shelf members of @weoaweddings' Three Diamond award winners club!! I… t.co/ATFWv2G0q… t.co/oWKXZ4jVu…

Cameron &amp; Wendy just got #marriedbyjosh with @popupwed &amp; @laurencampbell in Wendy’s Secret… t.co/TFeO2BVWh… t.co/Rvg5rS3FP…

#sydneyoperahouse #sydney #visitsydney #sydneyharbour t.co/Ha0qv6ymm… t.co/ZOCkHUN4P…

Tony Abbott slowly revealing that he secretly really looked up to Kevin Rudd the whole time #auspol

Rocking Sydney with the beautiful and photogenic @hellobrittanyjane today! t.co/YobfLm6s9… t.co/OKF2InQNI…

Breaking News: NASA finds water on Mars. Further exploration needed to determine if it is our desired Smart Water™ or just regular water.

See you soon @thatkevinsmith &amp; @jaymewes! #smoochiemoochies t.co/grHRBjbYs… t.co/bhMhg6pKg…

If you ever wondered where Clare &amp; Lachlan were #marriedatfirdtsight, we did the ceremony … t.co/crYokZjG4… t.co/aPyh3253d…

Hello, old friend! #sydneyharbourbridge t.co/HoA6LVL0l… t.co/TYiTv39tp…

An email from Robyn &amp; Gavin: “Thanks again for being the awesome, relaxed and relaxing cel… t.co/n58WRoiQG… t.co/3Yb5cKzbu…

Practising my duckface for a week of selfies in Sydney, Melbourne &amp; Geelong! t.co/Ej5ztpCIq… t.co/EPDJTJZR3…

Angel and Scott became husband and wife while we all sat down, and it was lovely! t.co/gdst0depN… t.co/SZTz6K7bb…

Robyn + Gavin #marriedbyjosh photographed by @aaronshumphotography for the @popupwed #popu… t.co/Ktjzrr67w… t.co/w1L80zw9g…

Why not sit down in your wedding ceremony? t.co/psoMqnZOl… t.co/7IhIY4rCq…

Are you one of my#marriedbyjosh Couple’s? Post a photographer of your ceremony to be in th… t.co/mQocD26A8… t.co/DSJLwL0kN…

Take me to your leader t.co/2LG2VaYAE… t.co/glli10bdT…

The #winyourweddingvows competition ends tonight! Win a #calligraphy art piece of your #we… t.co/PYLKAG5PA… t.co/DVKRUu15l…

One of my favourite aspects of my job is that I get to walk a very real, meaningful, and l… t.co/PFIaAzbum… t.co/oY053fnqL…

Listening to @HumansOfThis podcast with @chriswaynemagic &amp; @MolksTVTalk and now I want to know Chris' ‘size’ t.co/JBYrlYQbc…

I’m always looking for an opportunity to high five in your #marriageceremony! Grace &amp; Scot… t.co/TMZK4978d… t.co/fudCo6e2k…

No new features, it’s just new.

Wouldn’t that be an awesome Apple keynote in a few years, a Steve Jobs hologram announcing a new opportunity for you to spend money.

The iPhone 6s feature I’m most looking forward to is my continued slavery and devotion to the Apple machine.

|| Myles &amp; Kelly #marriedbyjosh!! || #gabbinbarhomestead #gabbinbar #gabbinbarwedding #too… t.co/ohS5ubyyt… t.co/c9OHMhnXV…

I’ve got a problem.

I need an emergency tailor somewhere between Logan &amp; Toowoomba right now.

Split pants, and I’m on my way to a wedding.

Google still getting itself around the ad blockers /cc @1BlockerApp t.co/dRdE49kp3…

ANZ interviewed me for their small business website! t.co/iHboSAi7L…

I’ve got the best job in the world, thank you Phams!

#Repost @ka1lah ・・・ Tomorrow marks 1… t.co/6LESOBZJQ… t.co/TLFbR3cER…

#winyourweddingvows competition ends midnight Sunday!! Have you been #MarriedByJosh?!!! If… t.co/W8M2JbnpA… t.co/z7qvov4fP…

Robyn &amp; Gavin #eloped with @popupwed and @aaronshumphotography yesterday at @binnaburramo… t.co/9Yb9Daldv… t.co/dDU60fEgT…

Kev + Sally #marriedbyjosh! #mounttamborinewedding #mounttamborine #celebrant #celebrantse… t.co/xMa2ND8VX… t.co/MWI9QOoqN…

Entries close at midnight tonight!! If you’ve been #marriedbyjosh then you can #winyourwed… t.co/pQUfEZmaT… t.co/LvR5baUBI…

Behind the doors of the lab that created the iPhone’s 3D Touch t.co/PIKhyrj8l…

The old-school command line is having a comeback t.co/VEdDQm9sI…

Yo @Telstra the iPhone 6S tracking page (link from earlier email) isn’t working t.co/KmzjF9drb… any idea of 6S Plus deliveries?

Gavin + Robyn #marriedbyjosh!! t.co/A0e0crfJm… t.co/KDMXfILRF…

I just saw it’s not a loan, but still, every second time I log on there’s some product being advertised in there. Super annoying.

Hey @ANZ_AU, any chance I could just let you guys know when I want a loan so my internet banking isn’t spammed? t.co/2Nw3CEO8G…

SMS is having a renaissance t.co/udQ9CHrZ7…

How to apologise, a guide for businesses t.co/ICWGsCVGH…

My greatest fear is that in marriage I’ve been gifted something spectacular and beautiful … t.co/g8yVJqxa5… t.co/nd1MqSzw7…

Lying flat on a flight? I may never be able to fly economy red eye PER-BNE ever again on @Qantas t.co/EYtoJ2e0Q…

We are far too tired to be enjoying a Qantas business class upgrade home on th red-eye, bu… t.co/VyyLDJHdZ… t.co/2ldoIMCyF…

#PerthAirport currently being evacuated #Perth t.co/vkkxh35MG…

Perth Airport T4 is being evacuated right now. We were just about to check our bags in … #Perth #perthairport

Tried to take a photo of @hellobrittanyjane on this classic today but the council has shut… t.co/5fnazhixR… t.co/8GHLIxITg…

Two more sneak peeks - my trusty little #sennheiser #lsp500 kicked ass at #bellsrapids #el… t.co/OpewMspg2… t.co/cTtSyDI2c…

Can’t wait to release this WA elopement love upon the world! @popupwed Perth team of @jimm… t.co/FFQwrd1Uc… t.co/gmwRazhWY…

I just made a husband and wife in a secret ceremony at this incredible WA location! Workin… t.co/dBCw6KiwS… t.co/CeXkXKw3B…

Forget vinyl, cassette tapes are the hippest new format from the past t.co/gkC3J5BO4…

“The best marketing isn’t advertising, it’s a well-designed and remarkable product.” t.co/ABGhRuFGH…

❤️ #LittleCreatures 🍺 t.co/5mz21wSDg… t.co/RCtYqYKeW…

Screamed like an excited baby that just had candy thrown at him t.co/QLAyOiwGm…

Drinking #LittleCreatures straight from the river tonight 😁🍺 t.co/huH3pF2B0… t.co/YgyYOfbB8…

My new food art piece, available in all good art galleries soon: “Bait on eggplant” #frema… t.co/XMuH2TaRK… t.co/VJ2G3eIdq…

So I guess ad publishers and ad blockers now live in a never ending cat and mouse game.

Google’s worked itself around @Ghostery through @marcoarment’s Peace and @1BlockerApp

So Google has worked its way around the ad blockers already t.co/HKM800MWA…

“Thank you so much again for helping us with our ceremony on our beautiful wedding day. Yo… t.co/MGjtK6nj5… t.co/KvTuyGvQC…

These four basic and super easy to understand steps are really good for weight loss!! t.co/YnDg32WCt…

I held on and stayed strong, soon my in-bearded face will be on point once more! t.co/90pQJLSij…

The sun sets on another freakingly gorgeous Perth day. I believe the locals call this, Per… t.co/qMmpev0wU… t.co/av2qliU2Z…

Mission: accomplished t.co/DkFhS5kNQ… t.co/Q1bPhIWFY…

#MarriedByJosh 🎉 competition! Win your wedding vows in ink!

If you’ve been 💍 #marriedbyjo… t.co/TrP6sqEjR… t.co/cvtIfWjpW…

Josh &amp; Naomi #marriedbyjosh at the #York #popupwedding at #favershamhouse #perthpopupweddi… t.co/tzQoAhBpy… t.co/w6gnnV1bf…

Glenn + Jennifer #marriedbyjosh at the #popupwedding in #York at #favershamhouse!! #perthp… t.co/ubK8edQGf… t.co/RCY9YXbdv…

L&amp;C #marriedbyjosh! They secretly #eloped at the #popupwedding in #York at #favershamhouse… t.co/ArisVY2jc… t.co/oRB2k0XRD…

Lyle + Kelly #marriedbyjosh at the York #popupwedding #perthpopupwedding!! t.co/57lnqH9fB… t.co/TyHNShtWk…

Start spreading the news, I’m leaving today, I want to be a part of it, Old York, Old York… t.co/wDuyisPbG… t.co/CoWe7ioX4…

Perth bound on a Tiger

I’m flying Tiger tonight. Pray for me, or something.

Vu + Kailah #marriedbyjosh!!! #mounttamborinewedding #goldcoastcelebrant #brisbanecelebran… t.co/MMjl4EhGA… t.co/teWTmXDsu…

Kevin + Jodie #marriedbyjosh!! t.co/D2BGdcv0f… t.co/LvWtyATow…

I just verbally thanked my iPhone … put me down now ok t.co/pJPangjnG…

Cliffo &amp; Michelle #marriedbyjosh in their secret elopement pushed out of the rain into the… t.co/JROPjX550… t.co/JpJAzJc4D…

When the first few words of a wedding magazine put the dress before the marriage, you’ve l… t.co/S7Bx7ArLR… t.co/seuF2vgl5…

I’ve got a new Instagram competition starting tonight for any of my couples who have been … t.co/DHYj09hqH… t.co/1HntYEek4…

Just another regular evening on #Snapchat, username: celebrant t.co/VrtWeOdpR… t.co/DAeWEw0xQ…

All our friends are posting about The Bachelor while we’re at home searching for B-grade crime shows on Hulu.

How freaking epic is this #elopement! Marcus + Emma #marriedbyjosh with @popupwed @wilde.v… t.co/QKywEWa2w… t.co/5asyB0YVL…

I’ve got a new Instagram competition starting tonight for any of my couples who have been … t.co/iSTChq6dP… t.co/DSoOLMAzl…

I’m in love with my wooden tie from @woodthumb! t.co/MSnwiKJx1…

Cliffo &amp; Michelle #marriedbyjosh #mishandcliffgethitched t.co/g2490yRgQ… t.co/DxZlfDyPk…

#iOS9 has wiped all of my @AppleMusic playlists 😕

Wooden tie or no wooden tie for today’s wedding? The internet decides! #woodentie by @wood… t.co/SYWBPOZnK… t.co/Sq3qiOhH3…

Beautiful one day, really wet and depressing the next #surfersparadise #goldcoast t.co/Obg4LG54a… t.co/WtHDKmkJq…

“Thank you for your help with our ceremony. We received many compliments about how differe… t.co/ZJMdXOtDx… t.co/JkOhDp3DM…

Kara + Daniel #marriedbyjosh at the #goldcoastpopupwedding 📷 @aaronshumphotography @popupw… t.co/pL1j8Z2tr… t.co/ECfMYrWB2…

When your wife has a cooler brand than you t.co/vT3mDkGAr… t.co/BJemAAYeB…

Men have to change t.co/xSJC5XXUJ…

Pretty cool to see the #popupwedding #weddingphotos from #shambamalaika on the #whitemagaz… t.co/foyUkqq0D… t.co/oVs47ODNZ…

Idea: Let’s honour our former PM by rebranding the humble BBQ sausage on bread w/ onion, a Tony Abbott sausage, like the USA’s Arnold Palmer

The most valuable part of a #wedding is the #marriageceremony - and the most important of … t.co/enNY6skZf… t.co/K6jvPkaMr…

Greg + Aleisha #marriedbyjosh 📷 @studio4photography #brisbane #brisbanecelebrant #brisbane… t.co/mfdSO5Tnm… t.co/kNBTTHSED…

Bolt/Holt Rabbit/Abbott

Done the Rabbit?

Tony Holt amirite? #libspill #auspol

29th/39th lol

Australia’s 39th Prime Minister on his marriage. t.co/213uacVoO…

Tony Abbott is/was four days away from a $600k lifetime pension #libspill

I for one welcome our new twenty five megabits per second overlord #libspill

Where does everyone even meet if you’re going to match into a party room together? Does everyone meet on the basketball courts? #libspill

Me to Britt: leadership spills are like my version of the VMAs. Britt: why aren’t you talking about what colour ties everyone has them?

How does this boat stopping work? If Tony lowers his hand do they start coming again? #libspill t.co/mIkeBXKPr…

Britt and I were artted by @_inthedaylight!!! This was @hellobrittanyjane’s third wedding … t.co/fyRepJk7u… t.co/GmvlcrHhq…

I sped on the road earlier today by only a few km. I apologise to anyone that this offends, especially the police. t.co/DbyBBuIZk…

Our first wedding anniversary was interrupted by Tony Abbott winning the PM title. Our third is being interrupted by him trying to keep it.

Spend 5 minutes trying to find a live streaming link for the PM’s #libspill then I remember that the black box on the wall probably has it.

Excited to be launching a #popupwedding for #foodies soon!

#Repost @popupwed || COMING SO… t.co/X0SuRHucL… t.co/hOaG0ZArI…

Exploring @spicersclovellyestate! #Montville #spicers #spicersclovellyestate t.co/BnmL6WB28… t.co/OtUna1Dsi…

Guys, get your shit together. Are we putting our speedos or our onions out for @TonyAbbottMHR?

Trying to sit down and enjoy volume 16 of @smithjournal at @spicersclovellyestate but ther… t.co/Pg5b5qvhP… t.co/rwqxD9tlV…

RT: @nicshields: RT: @TonyAbbottMHR: Added “I Don’t Like Mondays” by The Boomtown Rats to my ARghhhh Spill Playlist on Spotify.

Is good government starting or ending now? Asking for a friend.

Australia to get a new Minister for Women!

“It’s pretty obvious that, well, sometimes shit happens, doesn’t it?” Abbott said.

I’m Batprimeministerman.

Self-employed life: we’re having a few days off at Montville but we’re also both “quickly … t.co/oYLxmZ0p8… t.co/Nwea2x3HG…

Nadia + Nathaniel #marriedbyjosh at @homesteadwedding 📷 @etherealphotography! #toowoombace… t.co/T1ILhwCq6… t.co/QcHst68mP…

Crazy in love by @love.illuminated for the #popupwedding t.co/uHC6lhYFp… t.co/r4SdhmV7d…

Peter + Alicia #marriedbyjosh at the #popupwedding!! t.co/bg4mztkgH… t.co/4E4F9QWQZ…

Mark + Carmen #marriedbyjosh at the #popupwedding t.co/nfMXQuiNV… t.co/RTAvnP1bn…

S&amp;K secretly eloped at the #popupwedding today! t.co/U2jqyqKPg… t.co/XyCE2K5mx…

Trent + Ali #marriedbyjosh at the#popupwedding! t.co/ywlVDvnO5… t.co/nzNOhIe6I…

Kim &amp; Nadine #marriedbysomeweirdo at the #popupwedding t.co/Ct3Fgz5Pn… t.co/thb1RI9AO…

Jessica + Michael | Sirromet Winery Wedding Video t.co/ro4GDNzdU…

#Repost @popupwed 🎶Going to the chapel and we’re gonna to get married. Gee, I really love … t.co/OgYZ5DfZH… t.co/rhzcOPLC0…

Most wedding ceremonies see the bride and groom standing, lord knows why we don’t sit more… t.co/APWApDBWV… t.co/UJpk69PlS…

“We just wanted to say a HUGE thank you for helping us have the most amazing ceremony EVER… t.co/btqstm844… t.co/igr6FAGtP…

Grill’d is so proud of its (awesome) customer/user experience it publishes it on the wall … t.co/fNTo0kcgc… t.co/jqvVnXbH2…

It’s like the IT engineers of the world have never seen an iPhone launch before.

Me: are there any @Telstra business centres open on a Saturday night? Them: let me check #lol

On the phone to @Telstra small business “the only place you can make an #iPhone6s pre-order is in a Telstra Business Centre”

Kim Kardashian: break the Internet. @tim_cook: #iPhone6s pre-orders begin this weekend.

20 minutes before preorders open 😕 t.co/yx7KKo9dM…

Tim + Sarah #marriedbyjosh!! #itsashawthing120915 t.co/7UFnsSs9A… t.co/xxKBfmNLm…

Going a little colour crazy for Tim &amp; Sarah’s wedding today #itsashawthing120915 t.co/mKLHtj2ki… t.co/grYJgUTZV…

#AppleMusic has a song title auto filter t.co/SNng8fYBr…

Check this out t.co/Eq0jCO81Q… via @getnuggetapp

“The only way we can get you home from our wedding is in a helicopter, is that ok?” Yes. Yes that’s ok 😁

Despite a Facebook quiz saying that they would take each other out in a zombie apocalypse,… t.co/dNmOuSPkA… t.co/PTpthQgZb…

“Josh was hilarious and he ensured our guests enjoyed every single minute of our ceremony … t.co/OXTXTnH3y… t.co/VCCGmssgt…

I wouldn’t say I’m lactose intolerant, I’m just sick of lactose’s shit.

Wedding traditions that re-inforce male privilege that we should stop t.co/LfVmnHFBc… t.co/HUJ5E58d4…

I wrote a thing about how I can see a link between outdated sexist wedding traditions and domestic violence t.co/y32WVFMcy…

The ugly link between wedding traditions and domestic violence t.co/y32WVG3Np…

Thanks, @Scotty_McDonald @DearJoshua and @CollectiveNoun_ t.co/OMwj6Quab…

Chris + Clare #mauidbyjosh at our #hawaiipopupwedding on #Maui #marriedbyjosh 📷 @reeseandr… t.co/FhsOfzaJg… t.co/5OG4dYJq0…

Anyone else’s @FeedBlitz emails from @thisissethsblog coming in as html in a plain text email?

I just showed @hellobrittanyjane Michelle &amp; Adam’s really cool #weddinginvites and then wi… t.co/tQTz9t4G1… t.co/aEmANjS6L…

“For all intensive purposes” - a senior defence force spokesperson I just heard on ABC radio 😐

Marcus + Emma eloped yesterday!! #marriedbyjosh 📢 @joshuawithers 📷 @aaronshumphotography 🎉… t.co/CVxkYzbUF… t.co/69pjYV73d…

Don’t go, Jason Waterfalls, please stick to the rivers and the lakes you’re used to #Beats1

Those people in the emergency row got what they signed up for today! t.co/ZZwUj78PK…

I’m sure it’s not deliberate, but @newscomauHQ let’s try to not call male privilege domestic violence “the best” t.co/B9vzyuRI8…

One more sleep until iPhone season! t.co/KL6BZUYi0…

Josh Withers' Resume

1981-1997: thinking about crushing it 1998-2012: trying to crush it 2013-present: crushing it

Me taking a sneaky photo of @hellobrittanyjane taking a sneaky photo of @celebrantladylove… t.co/r9Zrosi4b… t.co/lJ7M4MxPw…

Me taking a photo of @hellobrittanyjane taking a photo of @celebrantladylove in a meeting t.co/SmKWTGkJk… t.co/iuWSPEWwx…

Scientific study proves life really is better if you have a name like Jimmy Recard, is a headline I’m constantly waiting for.

Marcus + Emma #marriedbyjosh in a crazy intimate and private elopement at the bottom of Mo… t.co/4wU69Zk4K… t.co/uXxObH5X2…

Allan + Julie #marriedbyjosh on aboard the P&amp;O Pacific Dawn! #cruise #cruiseship #cruisewe… t.co/HHREwSo1U… t.co/D9SNAyebo…

The cutest part of cruise ship weddings is being there too early and just watching all of the staff couples come and get pics in the arbour.

Guys, if we keep on uncovering how dodgy 7/11 is you know that eventually this will mean our $1 coffees are like, $1.10, maybe even $1.30!

Bec + Jetemy #marriedbyjosh 📷 @colinhockeyphoto #brisbanewedding #brisbanecelebrant #brisb… t.co/FfpOhI4Jp… t.co/Z6rKCYfRL…

Brisbane Airport travelators, most serious travelators in the world t.co/lgcGLkqla…

Dear @VirginAustralia and @Qantas, through your combined schedules &amp; being on time I got to marry people in #BNE &amp; #SYD this afternoon! #ty

Britt doesn’t remember how to use our #Wemo lights t.co/fUx2J8XYe…

Sarah + David #marriedbyjosh 📷 by @kristytoepferphotography!! #sydneywedding #sydneycelebr… t.co/VUR8Y5mdQ… t.co/wAjmNW2ir…

Mark and Felicity #marriedbyjosh 📷 by @emmahampton a and you wouldn’t know it but we wer… t.co/LJU7piBun… t.co/WfJqgDuQM…

Wearing a monocle and talking in a fancy accent was weird at first, but I’m growing to like it.

Because I’m on the last flight out of Syd tonight I’ve been kicked out of the commoners' Qantas Club and moved into the Business Qantas Club

Every day t.co/ULYCPIf6G…

Look who I ran into in Sydney!! #happyanniversarytous t.co/bn0KjLUxS… t.co/1YgjPprsb…

Mark + Felicity #marriedbyjosh with @popupwed and @emmahampton today in a crazy intimat… t.co/aN6HIW7hs… t.co/4Mx8SOqFl…

Thank jeebuz I missed this t.co/ba21Ml6lU…

Today I had a midday wedding in Brisbane, and now a 4:30pm wedding in Sydney, 23 minutes of margin to allow for error &amp; I’m on time #miracle

#Repost @savvyv: Photographing the most exquisite wedding today. #matthewandsanah2015 t.co/HQZpSsGhx… t.co/ynvMTpWYk…

Sydney tweeps: I fly into #SYD at 3:30, what’s the quickest way to get to Lavender Bay (next to Luna Park)? Uber, taxi, train, run?

Nekminnit 💺 BNE ✈️ SYD 🚗 #sydneycelebrant t.co/lgR0qOOce… t.co/sxFimaUrg…

Matthew + Sanah #marriedbyjosh at @lightspacebrisbane #matthewandsanah2015!! t.co/IOc6A3SFO… t.co/KOhxZPSqC…

Rocking a @tiesdotcom non-wooden 😁 #bowtie for Matthew &amp; Sanah’s #lightspace #wedding toda… t.co/Zrq1WrX3C… t.co/mos5SkKFk…

“You’re saturating my feed!” says Kat of @stellarossa_wickham_hq as we take a duckface sel… t.co/iGwzVRGV8… t.co/ViWpvf4PH…

Today marks three years since I joined this spectacular woman in a union called marriage. … t.co/ivQU1n3IT… t.co/TQF5KjUsj…

“We cannot thank you enough for the job you did on the day! We have received a lot of posi… t.co/Ifx5qQ4ZY… t.co/5eyANdDYI…

Joel + Nicola came from London to be #marriedbyjosh at Byron Bay’s @figtreerestaurant with… t.co/y6v2kyj42… t.co/1gskd6LB0…

Rain has interrupted play on day one of the Stillone versus Barber Test hear at the Figtree t.co/F5n3yJmB7… t.co/MVTO2C3EX…

Stay away Byron Bay rain! t.co/ydUsQ60lR… t.co/4bW3YwORb…

Aleshia +Greg #marriedbyjosh on the water at Cleveland! t.co/DSUfoNC47… t.co/RCEsfwoLN…

Me and my love when we travelled to Maui and @reeseandrenee took photos! t.co/YjLvV9uts… t.co/ofRWcPGhp…

Me: Hi Stevie!!! I’m home after a crazy day of globetrotting and adventures!!! Stevie: Ugh… t.co/pu87kxCVH… t.co/zcgMb88rg…

Natasha + Michael #marriedbyjosh at our #hawaiipopupwedding!! Team: @popupwed @opihilove @… t.co/4TVZYONXz… t.co/J2n9k88uB…

Take the night off, posties, you deserve it // @auspost

A notification saying that @auspost has just followed me on @Twitter on a Saturday night says I’m not the only one working hard here.

Scott + Lauren #marriedbyjosh in #Sydney today! #sydneywedding #sydneycelebrant #celebrant… t.co/Kn3ezToCQ… t.co/77jRFOcig…

Dave + Sarah #marriedbyjosh today, but apparently I’m not smart enough to use an iPhone so… t.co/BBKx3RmAs… t.co/hR2kAZi3e…

Reading @monoclemagazine and I find out there’s a place called Wedding in #Berlin. I’d sur… t.co/U4vwBJ2xy… t.co/axqKNZDYC…

Rookie mistake: booking a flight before airport lounges open #sigh #firstworldwhitepersonp… t.co/TpA9wobPr… t.co/kksZhseYm…

Me &amp; Senny Sydney bound t.co/H3ZQmFCGR… t.co/5dQnDcMHH…

Jamie + Emma #marriedbyjosh #weddingcelebrant #marriagecelebrant #celebrant #celebrantself… t.co/uj1cuWPa3… t.co/5aQmZgW4k…

Noah + Patricia #marriedbyjosh at the #Sydney #popupwedding at #studioneon! 📷 @_emmahampto… t.co/rUUMvRYmK… t.co/NSUrXz0TU…

Mere days away from a new iPhone and I’ve actually lived out a two year @Telstra contract. A lifetime first for Josh. Is there a medal?

Mic’d and ready to Skype #podcasting t.co/eWeAl0vIR… t.co/dmnUuypzC…

Friday inspo t.co/9QtHb4PXR…

Actually I missed about 300km in NSW from that math.

4063 kilometres: how far I’m travelling to make 9 husbands and 9 wives this weekend (between now and Tuesday night)

I went to the @saber_events launch party tonight for Jemanda’s new Stones Corner retail st… t.co/VLy4zADWh… t.co/96eGvvXGo…

“Josh was the most amazing celebrant ever! We felt so comfortable and had the best day! Jo… t.co/vsqaG50IH… t.co/lA3ALc1HV…

The hardest thing about Avril &amp; Chad breaking up would be that moment you have to Google “breakup songs not by nickelback or avril lavigne”

My favourite hashtag: #mauidbyjosh t.co/Gx6M4Czta… t.co/MweOcAZwM…

Is their a blog for these modern lovelies? t.co/PODmF1OnA…

Mike &amp; Wendy #marriedbyjosh at the #SydneyPopUpWedding at #studioneon photo by #emmahampto… t.co/GqpdsoF7X… t.co/VTlwW4lqW…

Chris + Clare #mauidbyjosh at our #hawaiipopupwedding!!! 📷 @reeseandrenee 🎉 @popupwed with… t.co/DhcLxUG7Q… t.co/C6dw1fNcw…

At the Sydney #QantasClub and @Qantas &amp; @Optus are awkwardly blocking a @heraldsun news article on #samesexmarriage t.co/7TAY3oObj…

I’ll be impressed when they release an iPhone that does the moon justice t.co/HB1ep3WEl… t.co/zLUJRxN8c…

Todd + Neisha #marriedbyjosh in Sydney at the #popupwedding with @stylemyaisle_ styling @p… t.co/L9fxW9Bcp… t.co/0Ib7dyV6U…

From Bondi, with love xoxo t.co/84pk7vZ8u… t.co/iTQ6YJUcW…

Is Dutton worried that a govt could be taken down by journalism? Or that the weak link in our democracy is the voters finding out stuff?

Me at #TheGabba 📷 @jamesdeank #brisbanecelebrant #brisbane #weddingcelebrant #marriagecele… t.co/ZejDkyh1Z… t.co/zZp3SZ4QR…

Can we get an exact percentage as to how much jihad is being had? Are we talking double digits of jihad? t.co/RI0u4dxoU…

That time that @jamesdeank and I took over #TheGabba for a #wedding! Jack &amp; Trischa #marri… t.co/iML1TY4FR… t.co/DqjYqLQnu…

“Happy to say that it was the type of ceremony we wanted and Josh just made it possible. S… t.co/klzpi5FpZ… t.co/K6952SnIJ…

While at The Grounds of Alexandria Britt had to get the fancy iced coffee 😏 @ The Grounds of… t.co/rXeyKmDhx…

At the Grounds of Alexandria you get to choose your own pig for your bacon and eggs! t.co/HFAIIESLg… t.co/LY84Na67E…

Todd &amp; Neisha #marriedbyjosh in #sydney at the #popupwedding at #studioneon yesterday! #Sy… t.co/MQCjmLr3L… t.co/pUg4GUBYt…

#Repost from @glamourincmua: Mr and Mrs…. we did it @eatdrinkgrowrepeat #290815 #married… t.co/qhNi3kAVj… t.co/SzAVkT3aO…

How crazy is it that I get to travel the world with this gorgeous woman saying things abou… t.co/tqIGbZUcC… t.co/BcDnJyafF…

Have you met my favourite human? t.co/Utf8ytKII… t.co/m532CmpPd…

This is the first time Mike and Wendy’s friends are finding they eloped today at the #popu… t.co/h2YRetsuD… t.co/dnruXueYN…

Noah &amp; Patch #marriedbyjosh at the #SydneyPopUpWedding #popupwedding #sydney #sydneyweddin… t.co/plPIEUQN5… t.co/QCRF6YvBS…

Love Neon #studioneon #popupwedding #SydneyPopUpWedding t.co/xvBaWCx7M… t.co/qTDFCcZwH…

It’s game time! #SydneyPopUpWedding #popupwedding t.co/QYguWajE2… t.co/zK5UU8gWe…

Sydney bound to make husbands and wives with my very own husband and wife! t.co/YgUIjzI1F… t.co/nzC4WSN2u…

Ben + Gillian #marriedbyjosh!! t.co/uw1MnbNNk… t.co/m7eNx0pod…

Looking good’s not about looking good, it’s about feeling good and damn I feel good after … t.co/CiM8Ra2jI… t.co/1KbtgnKjI…

I’ve killed the bridal party in this weekend’s Townsville Bulletin wedding magazine: Ruffles &amp; Cake!! t.co/ILThT7vLq…

Pets are animals that aren’t delicious 💭 Demetri Martin

Australian Border Force checking immigration papers in Melbourne? I did nazi that coming.

Formal journalist? Do not apply! t.co/G1aNbTA0D…

Visit Melbourne this weekend for the ‘Old Berlin Town’ historic display!

“I’ve tried several times to write a review for Josh Withers and no words seem adequate fo… t.co/2YaWUf7df… t.co/OA8T943w3…

Will I need to carry my birth certificate on my person for my next visit to Melbourne or will be inherent male whiteness be enough?

“I can’t believe it’s almost been a year already! Josh you were just amazing on the day! Y… t.co/IPx6SYbik… t.co/AA2GvXoX0…

Stellar wedding advice! t.co/Yjmz8xRPa…

“Hi Josh! Just wanted to say thanks! Beautiful words, created our beautiful day ❤️” - Dani… t.co/7IA1EQ44S… t.co/6EXVDsYRL…

Polkadot Bride on Pop-Up Weddings! t.co/lk6sDvSAJ…

Essential reading, essential to me for my son to know this, essential for our society to hear this story t.co/dgd0V6lMf…

It’s really cool to see a story I worked on with Jess from the Associated Press while I was in NYC published today t.co/n5oFJGoaH…

The tenth time you try to get Siri to help a brother out t.co/2iyZYIvhj…

Man tries to live as a goat - weirdest story you’ll read today t.co/xYsNi4Pp3…

JSYK, JSYK stands for ‘just so you know.’

Two good condition black leather two-seater lounges to giveaway in Robina - can pick up now

There’s really only two wedding vowels t.co/cxIUbZKTJ… t.co/AMcARHjtU…

“Who killed Jeeves?” - @dandebuf on @oshergunsberg’s #podcast t.co/ObaE9eeYj…

The decline of the phone call t.co/xbtHGhMog…

Isn’t this cute! Grace and Scott came to the GC to get #marriedbyjosh and Grace’s hometown local paper announced it! t.co/pXOO5quv4…

I’m doing seminars around the country for wedding businesses soon … get on-board peeps! t.co/ehoqdA5Xt…

Macquarie Radio Network are still hanging on to 2CH going by this press release. Are they waiting for change? t.co/S2mVM8Nn8…

Elopements made fancy - what a sweet write up about us! Thanks Ivory Tree! t.co/bM8gDnkbe…

Hey Internet, wtf is this 6 legged, single clawed insect on my ceiling right now? t.co/QB8QUmcET…

Malin from Willow Branch said the nicest thing about me, thanks Malin!! t.co/5foAtxmE0…

There’s 1 app in my biz that requires Windows so I just used Win10 for the first time / haven’t been so impressed with a MS OS since Win95.

I spend hours each week trying to convince Stevie to love me. Alas, she does not. t.co/Ql3uWZEUx… t.co/qc5nQj9eb…

Friendship with Ash t.co/OyId6XzuS… t.co/E07MoAT1l…

Nav, an #UberX driver saved me this morning! His rider today was my #Sennheiser microphone… t.co/ngTuQYOgu… t.co/EPQB6gVn8…

Blair &amp; Joey #marriedbyjosh t.co/2VUaJz0HO… t.co/XIUB119EF…

Idea: Frequent Driver Points. I just like having points and I think I could really win wit… t.co/K3gI9wGxj… t.co/H8exn07aY…

Stephen Colbert on his new Late Show t.co/Okn5BGZ6y…

What if the Ashley Madison leak was just their sneaky way of pivoting their biz to become a dating site for morally bankrupt divorced ppl?

Anthony &amp; Kelly, the awesome people behind @1300flowers, #marriedbyjosh at @sirrometwines … t.co/v5aYBR9H9… t.co/Lxkpq9bTw…

Mark from @wilvalor talking about suits at @wwfielddays at @westfieldgardencity today. Suc… t.co/FF2v14NHf… t.co/awsjgbcP7…

#Repost @popupwed: @joshwithers talking all things vows this morning at @wwfielddays at @w… t.co/oqDVGbZvY… t.co/MSqfGzhM7…

Thinking back to the moment when I thought it was super cool that a friend of mine was friends with Natasha Bedingfield.

Craig &amp; Stacey #marriedbyjosh #devineluv2015 t.co/deLcBVAhd… t.co/amYF8EHEw…

Kim Jong Un confirms he’s the worst leader in the universe by declaring war at 5pm Friday. He seriously couldn’t wait until Monday morning?

Kickin a LEATHER BOW TIE today, by @fitzydesign! #leatherbowtie #leather #leatherstyle #m… t.co/0lTEgDsMj… t.co/RPhW0Iffs…

Henri &amp; Nicole #marriedbyjosh at @homesteadwedding!! t.co/LDIvVPbhK… t.co/uDfxRwquN…

Today’s wedding is streaming thanks to Logitech and @Telstra - a first for #marriedbyjosh … t.co/qXdKPmcSi… t.co/N7cKMeZ8O…

Henri makes a very ‘BronwynBishop’ style entry to his wedding at homesteadwedding today, a sweet… t.co/AwB18Gc73…

Ashley Madison being hacked won’t destroy my marriage, but if the list of silly things I’ve backed on @kickstarter leaks I’ll be in trouble.

Awesome thing I overheard “you don’t get extra bride points for doing everything yourself”… t.co/PfmtCxGVA… t.co/yXes1IGAm…

The sun sets over #Brisbane from Moreton Bay #sunset t.co/IIberrWrY… t.co/nRNulPY2F…

Josh &amp; Skye #marriedbyjosh on #northstradbrokeisland t.co/8ZxCilLNB… t.co/dWQxF23kV…

The below post is starting a lot of private and public conversations on my Facebook page t… t.co/3IUEqD5sr… t.co/4sEc8aBFQ…

Who’s the Brisbane wedding photographer?? t.co/ZgFuHEm8j…

At @wwfielddays all weekend I’m giving away free vow writing guides, come in ams just pick… t.co/A79okmkDA… t.co/M0mWBSEiO…

##wwfielddays is open for business @wwfielddays at @westfieldgardencity t.co/r3pqH6Mf2… t.co/8SsENLQKV…

“Technology has created more jobs than it has destroyed, says 140 years of data” t.co/9VX1R4KDW…

Field Days, the wedding creators event, at Westfield Garden City is here!

I’m so proud to… t.co/ZwPeZ2Tiq… t.co/gZWt2JDa3…

Spot the happy kitten. Trick question, there is no happy kitten. #aggiewithers #aggieunlea… t.co/P6Qf3XIV4… t.co/jwONaUH4O…

Every time we go to Pet Barn I want to adopt another cat. This is Clara and she’s breaking… t.co/LekEinbNU… t.co/5je4vpsld…

I marry the best people! Micheal &amp; Katherine #marriedbyjosh at @homesteadwedding with pics… t.co/lWX9JjQQE… t.co/MSPOjq5Qn…

Just discovered @Laurenzalita’s wedding blog … currently my favourite thing on the internet t.co/N6MabtChq…

Trying to explain to my father-in-law why I didn’t need to upgrade my MacBook to Windows 10 ended up me just telling him I’ll do it tonight.

Right now it’s just me in my office however … so not as exciting :)

It should be pretty cool - it’s a standalone little camera that connects to a mobile hotspot

I’m trialling a live stream for a wedding on the weekend using a Logitech Broadcaster thingie - care to test it? t.co/3yqOFtq85…

Couple answer the question on my enquiry form “how did you find out about Josh?” with “we met one night in an Uber” lol

Operation ‘acquire new leather bow tie’: completed!

Operation ‘acquire machine awesome le… t.co/FAdqGBhHS… t.co/SDFiiyzPO…

|| CANNOT WAIT! || #Repost @wwfielddays: We can’t wait to move into our new home. Only two… t.co/vUXs3Wiaz… t.co/StUjnhGvl…

As much as I love Australian food over American, I list for American coffee … so we brou… t.co/GTvAv1mXM… t.co/D0Rr6MYjw…

This photo is seriously one of my favs! It’s by @heartandcolour for @stemdesignflorals at … t.co/HKiUz8moq… t.co/Z6mKquPey…

New podcast idea: Chinese with Malcolm /cc @MarkDiStef

Grab a coffee with Britt … in a blog :) t.co/UVNy4Cw1M…

Tomorrow night (Monday night) the doors of @lightspacebrisbane open up for their #brisbane… t.co/fzqF7izVx… t.co/89JOfcyuN…

Stevie wants an iPhone for Christmas #steviewithers #catsofinstagram t.co/lXL4Gb4Iz… t.co/OdZTnigEO…

Charlotte came to me looking for help on writing meaningful wedding vows t.co/viLNT2T9Q…

Rocked my new @woodthumb #woodenbowtie at Bec &amp; Jeremy’s wedding today! #woodthumb #mensst… t.co/t7zrN1FVM… t.co/uY4sC5n7F…

Bec + Jeremy #marriedbyjosh! t.co/3DG6RQzFy… t.co/rY1Z6TvlT…

#Repost from @reeseandrenee || HAWAII || These cuties were engaged for 5 years, but the th… t.co/0cawUnefd… t.co/s6HTsroNK…

Not everyone is happy I’m home t.co/rZTnik1vw… t.co/oQlOehNeS…

You could travel the world trying to find a better beach than the Gold Coast, but it’d be … t.co/ptYXKj0US… t.co/gioeRgmro…

That headline lol t.co/QualyPq9j…

That really awesome moment when you see Australian soil for the first time in a month #home t.co/xD5KJU0Xy… t.co/zElCFPVT5…

What Uber has that taxis don’t … and it’s got nothing to do with cars t.co/4k8yxjs99…

Britt and I are Australia-bound! I’m expecting to come home to a full voicemail inbox, PO … t.co/RaibSSYkq… t.co/e9rGXpZua…

Do Things, Tell People. t.co/UZpiJ4ZDf…

Hey @Qantas, are there standards that Qantas Clubs need to meet? The Honolulu Club most probably isn’t meeting them today.

Someone’s written an article about @nicwkelly t.co/g0CeuHLwj…

The hardest thing to explain to Americans is how non-liberal the Liberal Party is.

Simon and Rebecca #marriedbyjosh t.co/4fWzYYyFd…

After living the last 15 years of my life pretty much advertising supported I’ve always been an advocate, but it’s gotten too much of late.

On web advertising - via @marcoarment @daringfireball @gruber t.co/t9OlGhrTa… - I felt so hypocritical installing Adblock recently.

I’ve figured out what Victoria’s Secret is: her husband takes all of the cupboard room so … t.co/Ogcv77vO5… t.co/e0VNos2xv…

Britt and I are creating awesome elopements overseas, you’re going to love it! t.co/PnyQGUvUN… t.co/KICfwxebt…

The day that we fly out of #Maui is of course the first day the Haleakalā summit is not co… t.co/VvSXhm8cr… t.co/EaYOmf4ri…

Sorry … t.co/RxEEtwplM… #maui

Behind the scenes of today || Renee of @reeceandrenee shooting @hellobrittanyjane || #with… t.co/G7AX2FKFe… t.co/wK2HW4iMY…

Life just keeps on getting better #witherstakeusa #lastdayinmaui t.co/baFOyEnER… t.co/PEzx59328…

🎵 I made a friend with salad! 🎵 #witherstakeusa t.co/jj0pDmwoC… t.co/4xP20h82V…

Running around Maui today with @reeseandrenee taking photos of us today! t.co/evkk8TcD2… t.co/h3DkhRWkk…

ANZ asked me a bunch of questions about my business :) t.co/QMJezi098…

A FREAKING WEDDING HORSE t.co/JxosG381W…

Can I ask you equestrian? Would you like to be married in Hawaii then get wedding photos t… t.co/SPwy5S87W… t.co/AhBhGrCZb…

How to Create Vows That Wow - a guest post for Wedding Lovely! t.co/1Ms8NcjC8…

Our first Hawaii Pop-Up Wedding was AMAZEBALLS! t.co/bs6nfX4bl… t.co/YKTbq3vv0…

Guess who caught the #bouquet #popupwedding #mauipopupwedding t.co/IrwVSimmz… t.co/84hmjKpvV…

Mahalo #mauipopupwedding! t.co/roA7XlJ4K… t.co/YfQpatIHL…

Soooooo proud of @hellobrittanyjane today - she took on the crazy Hawaiian dream and made … t.co/FNrrpLhW8… t.co/2AXLCtkTW…

Michael + Natasha #marriedbyjosh at our #mauipopupwedding!! #popupwedding #mauiwedding #ma… t.co/oecI5AAaU… t.co/ttymZOVMX…

Colin + Michelle #marriedbyjosh at the #mauipopupwedding #popupwedding #wedding #mauiweddi… t.co/NXbIbomn9… t.co/nRNUKyYMf…

Even if you’re for or against same-sex marriage, we can all agree on this one thing: marriage… t.co/AkrGl1Q1D… t.co/P6OkHy4rE…

Chris + Clare #marriedbyjosh at our #mauipopupwedding #popupwedding #maui #mauiwedding #ha… t.co/9LM4eke1z… t.co/0TcrIFjmy…

#Repost from @opihilove: The day’s first Pop Up Wedding is underway with celebrant Josh Wi… t.co/Qtxm3xdkG… t.co/R7A4y8u9f…

Khya &amp; Ben #marriedbyjosh t.co/g6EhDgMW8…

Did you know that the reason it was called “bad luck” for a groom to not see his bride on … t.co/JuLaVWt5p… t.co/U78XC5Wla…

Happy little Vegemites turning out to be too happy t.co/rccoX4GPg…

Tell em' where you from boi t.co/ADfe85JPN…

Meta political reference in song t.co/Gepc1VZgS…

Am I doing it right? #straightouttamaui #maui #hawaii t.co/X1hcUmJwt… t.co/QrfWYczrL…

Spent our Sunday in #Maui driving the loop around the southern volcano, “The Road To Hana”… t.co/6EYa3vxnT… t.co/jxF9ps7xR…

Melissa and Aaron #marriedbyjosh t.co/wlrbsx1NI…

How celebrants can say the monitum without being weird. Also, what is a monitum. t.co/uJZv9sZ0H…

Rebecca Black finally opens up about the front seat/backseat thing t.co/UBZDTnkrG…

“You May Have Seen My Face on BART” by @isisAnchalee t.co/UwrHbjEfw…

Saturday night in Maui is date night! #witherstakeusa t.co/s5CbTt126… t.co/LOeZJZQvP…

Six years on and @Google still hasn’t replied to @Yahoo’s greeting on @Twitter t.co/9oFkBRtLC…

Kara &amp; Daniel #marriedbyjosh at The Pop-Up Wedding at Shamba Malaika, video by Wilde Visual t.co/SSiojYUZY…

Hi, first time caller, long time listener. My question: I love to travel &amp; also love to have money. Should I consider a career in politics?

There is no combination of words I could put on the back of a postcard. No song that I cou… t.co/Fudzs7Yo3… t.co/WQ7ecxiVv…

A wedding celebrant dishes his secrets to Mamamia t.co/ejabh2wnn…

There’s this pretty girl that wears denim overalls and she goes everywhere I go and says n… t.co/6GwzsQKEs… t.co/opOjdE8dG…

Love me some Whole Foods “water” /s t.co/Ild6TwO6o…

Build something that people want t.co/Kh4ark6Fe…

“We never cease to be mesmerized by the vessel in which music is contained” t.co/lNvhxmrJq…

Makena Beach and a pretty girl that refuses to leave my side #witherstakeusa t.co/gLVDaQDv4… t.co/JNAzA38Db…

Well that’s quite the sad rap battle t.co/UFpJjMxSF…

Melissa &amp; Aaron #marriedbyjosh t.co/Z0X9pc8O8…

Maui business meeting #witherstakeusa t.co/ZbhTm5p5U… t.co/mcmL5Vlnp…

On top of the world #witherstakeusa t.co/TgWXvz8Bj… t.co/87tMJ6T1F…

Michael &amp; Jasmine #marriedbyjosh t.co/ZDm3qmS5J…

BREAKING: 4 year old YouTube video goes viral again, 4 years after first going viral t.co/ZajJVV5ZL…

From where you’d rather be 😘 t.co/Abh2uPKmY…

We rented a Jeep #witherstakeusa t.co/nHEdMw0SP… t.co/g07fAND85…

Love this beach styled shoot wed did! t.co/kVBHomjx0…

One of Maui’s volcanos is flanked by a glorious wind farm t.co/Ex9DRgyBM…

Vik + Jem #marriedbyjosh and pictures by Katie! t.co/qb2j59Ph7…

In other news, how freaking good is it to be alive right now?

Just had a major revelation.

Someone has brought me to Hawaii to fucking marry them.

IS THIS THE REAL LIFE?

WHY ARE PEOPLE DOING THIS?

Maui Adventures #witherstakeusa t.co/YFjxSrFjJ… t.co/Pp8ZKFVHh…

Wedding celebrants say the darnedest things t.co/vajJMx4gE…

We’re bringing the #popupwedding here next week!!! #mauipopupwedding #hawaiipopupwedding #… t.co/z133ncRs7… t.co/YRTE0Vpwi…

Question to the Member for Fairfax: is there room for the Member for Mackellar on your Titanic II for a quick jaunt across Sydney Harbour?

Kahli and Shane #marriedbyjosh t.co/UiCca0V41…

Managed to pick up a pair of the newly released Plantronics Backbeat Sense Bluetooth headp… t.co/ZjojAxBnw… t.co/fv0yI3779…

Britt and I and The Pop-Up Wedding​ are Maui bound today. Hele Mai ‘Oe I Ko Maua Male ‘Ana!

Somewhere, over the rainbow #waikiki #witherstakeusa t.co/eWLkNEbKv… t.co/0O5lgDJcZ…

Somewhere over the rainbow, way up high #witherstakeusa #waikiki t.co/biOZ9X69i… t.co/vM5dSkjns…

Join the Google Hangout vow writing workshop with White Magazine! t.co/wMJenwC1v… t.co/mjb77J6wA…

Aloha! #witherstakeusa t.co/E44g4AJYM… t.co/E7DYzGk1X…

Toby + Teiga #marriedbyjosh #perthpopupwedding t.co/Lxx6OUiix…

New York, I love you, but it’s time to say goodbye for now. We’re off to America’s Tasmani… t.co/KkegzEwVs… t.co/tWQGybo1L…

New York, I love you, but it’s time to say goodbye for now. We’re off to America’s Tasmania, Hawaii!

I just re-read this old blog post today and it still remains one of my favourites t.co/AC1C1cVaQ…

Guy jumps on train and screams “What I have in this bag here today” and my heart skips a beat. Never been so thankful to meet a beggar.

What a crazy amazing night with the creator of so many of my favourite films on his 45th b… t.co/rWfUGTufF… t.co/kp697Qp3r…

12 people that are certain that their question for @thatkevinsmith is wayyyy better than that first chick’s question t.co/zc3PfHNXL…

I’m about to walk into a @ThatKevinSmith Q&amp;A but just realised I don’t have an actual question requiring an answer.

Ben &amp; Kaycee #marriedbyjosh t.co/Rhpj54aJB…

November 23, 2011 t.co/7d4QPF4uh…

I’m in ex-pat city: Williamsburg, NY.

The incredibly sad and interesting story of the .io domain name t.co/BpNYFNiIV…

The Upper East Side from Central Park #witherstakeusa t.co/aoOR6Nw49… t.co/G7IYvSHuQ…

All the silly traditional things that marriage celebrants say but don’t have to t.co/Bzd0BUVla… t.co/ztKEyEvIX…

Tony bought Andrea a Central Park bench seat for their 30th wedding anniversary t.co/i9sWLhiNP… t.co/a8CnRwuz3…

Say hello to my little friend #witherstakeusa t.co/X2MMgzRi9… t.co/KSkiKT1tV…

“So many wedding traditions are not relevant to us” - Me, in the Sunday Mail’s U On Sunday ma… t.co/Mc6lhtQPf… t.co/T0lLsq3NH…

#Repost @voxdotcom: The wedding website The Knot found that the average wedding cost $31,0… t.co/bXd8CQTNg… t.co/aXnNsSsZC…

Becoming a Kirkwood: Alyce’s quest to change her last name after her wedding t.co/uSlxd7ojS… t.co/qVKSR0dgx…

Date night #witherstakeusa t.co/HWu0GTL3E… t.co/WFvOsURAK…

I simply clicked the “I’m feeling lucky” button, and bam, Friday’s I’m in love #witherstak… t.co/wb7P9BQ3l… t.co/gxY0SJrcN…

What if there were no hypothetical situations?

I’ll be at the @whitewhiteco Field Days - will you? t.co/uPQyJc5Sv… #Brisbane #weddings t.co/jY3Fy1w30…

Heartbroken reading the New York magazine this week t.co/sY3B7gJum… t.co/NadsJreqo…

Britt &amp; I have a mutual love of magazines, so finding the “Best Use Of A Small Space” awar… t.co/mdtcUN7sd… t.co/yjz7JXwcc…

The closing statement made by Justice Kennedy on the #samesexmarriage ruling - a powerful ceremony inclusion t.co/nGbqAYffi…

The Book Of Mormon. We give it 3 out of 5 stars. #⭐️⭐️⭐️ t.co/KeMlJPmzn… t.co/VwZDr2ceo…

So that’s where they keep all the New York Minutes! #witherstakeusa t.co/ePMmprcbq… t.co/AsJaj6oUj…

Kylie from Just For Love Photography is just the best! t.co/kvzbvpMZ3…

Google Street View rides a camel through Abu Dhabi t.co/YHxBGcpLK…

OMGOMGOMG stularsen playing in @Starbucks. Totally just boasted to everyone that I know that guy. @… t.co/FhRVXy6L8…

A wedding reading from the US Supreme Court that reinforces that marriage matters t.co/nGbqAYffi… t.co/MhwXCfrh4…

Miss you, Dave #NeverForget #Letterman #witherstakeusa t.co/45IFtKE0h… t.co/AIunl1y4E…

#witherstakeusa @ Friedman’s t.co/j1thi7r82…

One man’s example of taking his wife’s last name has the internet in tears t.co/BK8Y5XiXN… t.co/08MwzHSCG…

I’m in America at the moment, so I’m not sure what’s right or wrong in Australia today, but can we boo Bronwyn Bishop? Asking for a friend.

Lucky 2GB has that new Brisbane bureau t.co/Kstt0btQ2…

“While uber talk about their 150k customers, the Qld taxi industry has 110 mil customers” in a 5mil population state t.co/vPBmRAUCl…

The first #IAPWO #officiant and #celebrant conference was a great success!!! t.co/MU4lg4nmj… t.co/PZ6EAJEjf…

So, this happened #ChickfilA t.co/lKHFcGymj… t.co/qVgGnzXiv…

How to say the celebrant’s monitum with class, and not be a weird celebrant t.co/muCpFwiZm… t.co/ft9GIAstP…

The view to Australia, from America: a whole country trying to justify booing someone. That’s really messed up. I don’t want to come home.

I’m saying goodbye to the world of sexist wedding traditions t.co/IOaYuY9mh… t.co/6yAmGdNb6…

Take Me to High Church! t.co/OVKMUMwHf…

I’ve left my love in New York City, but am now in Maryland for the @iapwo officiant’s conference!

We got to see a live #ReplyAll #podcast at #CastParty tonight! #Gimlet @ Skirball Center for the… t.co/MOgefyOMZ…

I found this Simpsons wedding reading nugget out of an episode where normally Homer is only q… t.co/VnHd3U0NU… t.co/BQvGJVWD2…

You know the problem when you start listing favourite podcasts? You miss people. I love everyone’s podcasts :)

With the obvious exceptions of my Aussie favs, @MolksTVTalk @iLoveGGLetters @oshergunsberg

I’m like a giddy child tonight - all geared up for #CastParty. All of my favourite podcasts on one stage in 15 min! t.co/xjjg6HqDF…

It’s kind of crazy to be in a line around the block for a podcast #castparty #podcasting t.co/D75vjTAFU…

We’re going to a podcast party! #castparty #witherstakeusa t.co/6CIV9sKm9… t.co/IlAt5cxa4…

Will I do a nude wedding? t.co/zheY8YDtE… t.co/OjRZrIp1o…

We’ve ordered lunch in a restaurant where they’re also filming a pilot of a reality TV sho… t.co/2aYrjHIun… t.co/xNrqJV6dU…

Need Sprite? #witherstakeusa t.co/KD1wvWEzQ… t.co/bTnGhHNGc…

Now authorised to marry in Australia, Hawaii, and NEW YORK BABY! t.co/Cdm3HaNg0… t.co/8DRVbcXuY…

Marriage is alive and well in New York City on a Monday morning // made with @vibbidi #vibbidi @ City… t.co/E7MXwC2ea…

Love a personalised sponsored tweet from my buds at @CocaCola t.co/jyhmA2N1E…

Nike: secured #witherstakeusa t.co/KaRCPttJA… t.co/2exoXVNL9…

What the actual fuck? t.co/ifHHPhGGT…

Dear @Qantas, please send this to your lovely IT guys. t.co/l3xP6swev… - in regards to FF and Qantas Cash #fortheloveofgod

I met up with Alex and Lisa yesterday, and Alex asked me the best question t.co/UwdDXEGb1… t.co/7nzaCR0UK…

1WTC #witherstakeusa t.co/hmL1KI6Me… t.co/b6CfK8va7…

“The Summer Britt” #witherstakeusa t.co/K32SgImo6… t.co/uUe42XOp9…

I entered the lottery to see @ActofGodBway on @TodayTix! Enter here: t.co/bDvmcyUMp…

Lower East Side #witherstakeusa t.co/MYHceWg2e… t.co/MvYGfsb4L…

Jet-lag’s a bitch.

This is what’s so great about nerd weddings t.co/ZinE39SCz… t.co/TrA8xg0kn…

A KLM 777 lands in Amsterdam earlier today during the strongest summer storm on record. Wind gusts up to 121 km/h. t.co/ekir4eJgK…

Fascinating read about the man who has been in the air for free for a year. The very definition of a frequent flyer. t.co/WT6Eb9SJc…

Really proud to be involved in the White+White Field Days at Westfield Garden City! t.co/xhRRjkVCp…

Kaz says day drinking is just how it’s done in Brooklyn #witherstakeusa t.co/mdSML2IvK… t.co/6pzehAUEI…

Mi-girl #witherstakeusa t.co/uqXADWS6A… t.co/Eeid9hsBC…

Brooklyn #witherstakeusa t.co/FoGD1sLtV… t.co/zyDt93fiG…

I answer the question “does a marriage have to be consummated?” in this Q&amp;A t.co/aLrq3B0DE… t.co/1qT04WfEw…

Simon &amp; Cara-mia #marriedbyjosh t.co/jwZ2iZ58d…

Empire State of Bubble #witherstakeusa t.co/kYtyLuYDM… t.co/gySWRM2LE…

So I’m crazy excited about this … tickets at t.co/8ReJQuaxJ… t.co/m50FotMv8…

You can buy a “home” in New York for $25,000USD this weekend t.co/xKROCajzT…

Ummmm … Apple’s Keynote supports animated gifs. In other news, my slides for next week just became awesome.

My #ubericecream is better than yours t.co/6oOck9CIq…

Michelle &amp; Travis #marriedbyjosh t.co/sjroYjZdv…

Brisbane’s Westfield Garden City has something super special coming to it in August thanks… t.co/uuXxr3xSE… t.co/ymYoS3Q8Z…

Gabby + Cameron #marriedbyjosh t.co/cIBcrOH8D… t.co/PeNgjCloK…

I spend half an hour every week not knowing what @gruber is talking about, after two hours inside Yankee Stadium today I still have no idea.

I have no idea what’s happening #witherstakeusa #yankees t.co/x7m8mV1G5… t.co/5ssuvVAzt…

Going to a Yankees game today!!!!/

We’re the losers that FaceTime our cats from a Starbucks

Tom and Dick can get married but poor old Harry is sitting on the sidelines singing “What about me” 😂 t.co/IPyFhbbFW…

6am in New York and I’m at Starbucks again. Oh jet lag how you curse me.

Saw an ad for Ello in Manhattan. Ello. That network we never used again.

Times Square, where the world comes to take photos of ads #witherstakeusa t.co/O3JSt30ba… t.co/UGzGozeg5…

Sia performs at beach wedding lead by Donald Fisher, school principal, on Home and Away #wtf t.co/V7pKuN3IO… t.co/DVZXYFUT3…

I’m failing at assimilating to New York time. Just slept 10am to 6pm, which is midnight to 8am Queensland time.

Britt from The Pop-Up Wedding shares her tips for working with wedding professionals t.co/lHFeBXS1g… t.co/qZAbdoG2V…

Breakfast at @dudleysnyc #witherstakeusa t.co/aDbBjla1Z… t.co/IZsXiUmQG…

After 41 minutes of it I’m almost convince that crazy guy on a faux conference call inside Starbucks might be on a real conference call.

#Uber in NYC has a few more options than the Gold Coast /cc @Uber_QLD t.co/8IrPaVPox…

This is Your Marriage on Drugs (Part I) t.co/hbQKEh2DW…

Subway life #witherstakeusa t.co/gqGUDNif6…

Meredith &amp; Andrew #marriedbyjosh t.co/lOZToPXbf…

Some poor sod isn’t getting their @FedEx package today. I just saw a guy lift a box from a FedEx trolley on Wall St!

“I like big butts and I can not lie, those other fellas may deny” - tourists at the Chargi… t.co/RCNHuEWrr… t.co/a2oD5NiTq…

Love a testimony! “First of, what a great guy! When we first met Josh we knew our wedding … t.co/NTvJmFjIv… t.co/b1VkiYVFx…

6am in NYC, 8pm on the GC, and I’m home for a few weeks. And jetlagged. t.co/yMPKaPCER… t.co/rr3oQdAtg…

You don’t need a wedding rehearsal t.co/eEI0DahiW… t.co/SxWhNY0a9…

James Day lifted the whole wedding industry in this crazy dream they said wouldn’t work t.co/NbV8KHhAD… t.co/gTigUMQDO…

LA.

The Pop Up Wedding Co. has released another Hawaii date for December this year on The Island of Hawaii! t.co/CTzbWUTh5…

No. Sleep. Til' Brooklyn! t.co/REm90lzc8… t.co/qUQ3zvmlY…

Kara &amp; Daniel’s #popupwedding!!! #marriedbyjosh &amp; #weddingflim by Wilde Visual t.co/lx21FekVm…

USA bound to speak at this! t.co/J2HAkSC6N… #celebrant #officiant

Primary #witherstakeusa capturing device: acquired 📷 #gopro #goprosession t.co/PgrByG1FB… t.co/EROfwYVvT…

If you’ve got two moments to spare a 5 star rating on this website would make a man smile :) t.co/l2Bu9caMm…

Me in Mamamia’s ‘The Motherish’!!! t.co/bNWr6odDZ…

For about 30 minutes this afternoon I was the official ground announcer on #TheGabba with … t.co/G55IMzsMo… t.co/uSu2K3imB…

Jack &amp; Trischa #marriedbyjosh at #TheGabba. Follow @jamesdeank to see their photos on the … t.co/DeoWiqFEa… t.co/YhlluBUGw…

Werkin @ The Gabba t.co/2SxlztgtI…

Daniel + Alicia #marriedbyjosh t.co/DEpg7s8Nw… t.co/fE1myD2jZ…

Wearing @blackjacketsuiting #suit with @r.m.williamsaustralia #shirt and @twoguysbowties #… t.co/KHPTRjsdN… t.co/w4hLoIPOC…

Anyone got a #Beme invite code?

Oh shit. I’ve declared war on mothers, on a mothers blog. Pray for me. t.co/iymPXpf1s…

Thanks for everyone’s reviews on Easy Weddings!!! t.co/eXFDnYuKH…

Ok, I want to do ceremonies in front of all of these!!! t.co/IaOaRlCsk…

Monday we’re NYC bound!!!! t.co/SPn3rGJhy… t.co/eXHD1WrKA…

Nathan &amp; Jen #marriedbyjosh with a little bit of help from @lightspacebrisbane @avideas_co… t.co/ZzPFzknDp… t.co/bVXnKB4tT…

John &amp; Kelly #marriedbyjosh t.co/R3UxZmGAL… t.co/ts4LHJkGp…

The 37 Best Websites To Learn Something New t.co/gsNYjnQLJ…

Just your normal run-of-the-mill drone FIRING A HANDGUN t.co/ELT2U2ChU…

Hate alarm clocks? This app, Wakie, gets other people to call you to wake you up instead of sounding an alarm! t.co/cLXPHmKkF…

Did you know that if you lick someone’s elbow while they’re not looking, they won’t feel it.

If it’s within the rules why is Browny Bishop reimbursing it? It’s like saying “I didn’t kill the guy, but to remove doubt I’ll go to jail”

I know I’m not everyone’s celebrant - I reckon one of these peeps might be though t.co/iWtJWbgZU…

Shadows and light t.co/CUVw7hOq3…

About to do a Google Hangout talking about making awesome wedding vows! t.co/hhSeVZdZm…

Getting ready for tonight’s Google a hangout with @jedibarberck 😎 t.co/hNMEWhuev… t.co/o3ZTJ9Y0f…

Three hours away from my Google a hangout all about writing wedding vows that wow! Follow … t.co/deFoYEX46… t.co/uBScltePO…

Need help with your wedding vows? Vows that Wow wedding vow workshop at 8:30pm tonight here: t.co/hhSeVZdZm… t.co/ID14UY3XS…

Rosie &amp; Raoul’s sweet ass Mexican fiesta was an awesome surprise wedding #marriedbyjosh t.co/nF8yRG9bV… t.co/4t4kxPZ0u…

How a password changed my life. I do this! t.co/X8McZ7A2e…

The little planet that could t.co/3ejD32aRL…

Finally decided to give myself the leg up I always needed t.co/gWLp8ldOT…

Annabel talks about sex on my blog t.co/670pzXCOG…

This is going straight to the pool room t.co/4EmL0w7ax… t.co/j4nEEWOP6…

Cat just ate her way through a Lightening cable. She’s alive, safety switch didn’t trip. Weird. t.co/jP4GcUYQh…

A warning about Josh Withers - take heed! t.co/BMqPEdAo2…

I’d love to help you wrote vows that wow! On Wednesday night I’m hosting a vow writing wor… t.co/cVjfaqiZF… t.co/Zo4VEFwmJ…

In the doctor’s surgery and I see a book released by an old dear friend who passed away th… t.co/sXn9my0oS… t.co/kJSvd8i0V…

So so good to catch up with the superstar, @jfkjohan, today! Let’s make it less than 6 years next time bro 😉

Significant (Wedding) Space Interview with Amy t.co/n4uY2qcSC…

Australia, the land of the idiot t.co/Npn70KqAG…

Just to break it down: Ch9 retweeting Cadbury tweeting abt The Voice’s Apple iPhone app released by Ford, on Twitter t.co/e51TqufCh…

“HAVE YOU NOTICED OUR BRANDING????!!!????!!!” #TheVoiceAu t.co/HzInOJKW5…

Repost📷@aaronshumphotography

Winter Trees | Pop Up Elopements | Yesterday was a day fille… t.co/ydzwVmpLM… t.co/ZvIabldSx…

That moment || Michael &amp; Jasmine #marriedbyjosh 📷 Van Middleton t.co/hpHCUQ6qS… t.co/dRbq28RpM…

I’d gone almost a week without buying a new domain name … t.co/DiXdmvqMb…

Mixing family traditions in a new cross-cultural marriage - some tips t.co/5w5rHNAoA…

Do married couples need to have joint bank accounts? Or not? t.co/zvOAYrfMU…

Josh &amp; Belinda #marriedbyjosh 📷 Red Cherry Photography t.co/a516J4Cht… t.co/9CTFP8NCG…

Britt lead this fantastic team today, they’re all worth your follow on this Saturday nigh… t.co/1koBIDSEu… t.co/Me0zLoENE…

So proud of my @hellobrittanyjane, she’s the most creative person I know and she inspires … t.co/zrtJE5EXp… t.co/3f186YrJk…

Daniel &amp; Kara #marriedbyjosh at the #popupwedding #gcpopupwedding t.co/pugJTE2lP… t.co/fqVsdC9Jg…

Simon + Rebecca #marriedbyjosh at the #popupwedding #gcpopupwedding t.co/q6XQUOfCb… t.co/VIwwQEpTU…

Scott &amp; Grace #marriedbyjosh at the #popupwedding #gcpopupwedding t.co/EJuSmveFg… t.co/GgEvzjrZB…

Brooke &amp; Myles #marriedbyjosh at the #popupwedding #gcpopupwedding t.co/Y8gawkTHm… t.co/SA2qTtmlr…

Welcome to our #shambamalaika #popupwedding with the best team: 🎉 @lovestruckweddings 📷 @… t.co/wZ46A3DAe… t.co/yvOsDsxhj…

I’m in love with a pop-up …. wedding t.co/TQ8sDwXfe…

A meaningful wedding business, what I’m trying to build t.co/GaSda4grK…

When my dad was my age he had a 6yo son named Josh. This explains his disdain when I tell him what Britt and I are up to.

“I wonder if Busta Rhyme has updated his operating system” #Beats1

Don’t exchange underwear or wedding vows, instead, exchange your own! t.co/sUbF6vNoJ…

“High on legal marijuana” is a lyric in the new song from @halseymusic ‘New Americana’ heard on @beats1. Watch out Snoop Lion.

Does exclusive mean we just have something now? I exclusively have a photo of Taylor Swift.

Exciting that so many news outlets have an exclusive on this new Harper Lee book.

Free online vow writing workshop Google Hangout next Wednesday!! t.co/hhSeVZdZm…

My values, aka, what I’m all about t.co/vRR5U2i1r…

I’ll have a caramel long black and a witness to a marriage ceremony please. t.co/iQXe9dHry… t.co/3eMtr4a1E…

Really proud to be presenting at the Int’l Assoc. of Professional Wedding Officiants conference in the USA this month t.co/CtjWqSaXh…

“First name is free! Last name is dumb!” - Pharrell “Dad Joke” Williams

I’ve been waiting for the Blackberry book, “Losing the Signal” to become available on Kindle in Australia for months, yay book industry.

Troy + Emma #marriedbyjosh 📷 @gavinwyattphoto t.co/mEIgKLpsF… t.co/t9K85ignW…

. @statravelAU you’re wasting money on a sponsored tweet that is 24 hours out of date

I’m standing in a suit store and got followed by a suit company. Conspiracy? Let’s imagine it is. t.co/spz5jpPOA…

We’re coming at you, USA!!! Please tell as many American officiants as you can!!! If you c… t.co/BJB0lzHYl… t.co/SdkeArIzS…

In an email I’m reading right now exists the scariest three words a creative will ever read: “The Website Committee”.

Queens of the Stone Age’s Josh Homme is hosting a show on #Beats1 right now with Fred Armiston. Such a good listen!

How to be the perfect wedding guest - message this to EVERYONE! t.co/9k3ZW9NT4…

“Sometimes I get emotional over fonts” - Kanye West. I know those feels, Yeezus.

It looks like Aust is the only remaining market where MOG operates, it’s been merged into Beats, merged into Apple Music everywhere else.

Telstra still cagey on MOG, which they supply through BigPond, which is owned by Beats, and such, @AppleMusic … @Telstra’s music page=0.

6 minutes of pure awesome on Microsoft’s new mission statement t.co/Cw0doydQu…

How to stand in a wedding ceremony, a beginner’s guide t.co/f8YmSE0xB…

Seeing Samuel L. Jackson on Bet365 ads make me wonder whether he has cancer and is trying to prepare a kitty for his family before he dies.

Weddings in Queensland this weekend will not have something blue out of respect for the NSW team’s loss tonight. Our condolences #origin

A teaser for my American #wedding #officiant friends! Follow @iapwo for info when it launc… t.co/ZC7FMKlsT… t.co/VdawWaSm8…

A little teaser for my American friends - follow @iapwo for more info #weddingofficiant #officiant t.co/jAwZSu1Aq…

#Beats1 @AppleMusic must have read about Triple M dissing them on @_radiotoday so now they’re advertising during #Origin … SCA vs Apple.

We’ve got a really really really special weekend of elopements with the @popupwed crew thi… t.co/AB3R44gVk… t.co/ae0l07tjI…

Me on 2GB! t.co/SVdBrsOIM…

Origin, the original “go back to where you came from”

It’s the bride’s day - nope - it’s the groom’s day too t.co/9ZVrZtI2a…

I’m really super lucky to know some amazing photographers. Even in this past week I’ve hun… t.co/4HyUEYYhX… t.co/Sk3sNvgEC…

Are you breaking any of the 7 deadly wedding sins? t.co/E8jCplqOL…

The sophistication of a wedding ceremony, is it necessary? t.co/V1ZHGKOrb…

Troy &amp; Emma #marriedbyjosh t.co/HliwseCwF… t.co/ru9dqDVO1…

Troy’s getting married here today and I just asked him how he was feeling. “I’m just so pu… t.co/E7OMbqb9B… t.co/pc6fO6v5a…

Ant &amp; Sally #marriedbyjosh t.co/WnjiU82lt…

Hey @ANZ_AU … the daily loan offer I have to dismiss is making me want to change banks t.co/u6YEzgosi…

Cafe owner just said he’s looking for a “takes no prisoners” kind of person.

Desperately want to go and help the poor thing, floundering around in this interview, I think he’s almost crying!

Sitting at a cafe listening to this poor kid being interviewed for an apprentice chef gig is killing me.

“What would you say ya do here?” - wedding celebrant edition t.co/RypYjxM19…

Josh &amp; Belinda #marriedbyjosh 📷 Red Cherry Photography 🏩 @topiariesweddings t.co/OL3Mvhw4U… t.co/AbZ4v0Zym…

Josh &amp; Belinda #marriedbyjosh 📷 Red Cherry Photography 🏩 @topiariesweddings t.co/NA8vMiD3I… t.co/fH5g7mIFs…

A marriage without love, is that a thing? t.co/6sNEyYnQh…

Does @Beats1’s paying adult audience really require censored songs? Even the DJs swear. Let’s go un-censored, @zanelowe #beats1

Let me introduce you to Heath. Heath, everyone, everyone, Heath. t.co/wxGxuf8OR…

The best thing about having a public phone number … t.co/bAWw0mMxx…

ALWAYS ON #BEATS1

Fascinating read on the “Port 80isation” of the Internet. t.co/tTuxEqyV9…

What a time to be alive t.co/KTupXE9US…

🎵 What’s the deal with airline food? 🎵 t.co/Zf2zm5yey…

I have strong positive feelings about #beats1

Sunset is on point this afternoon | Toowoomba 🚙 Gold Coast ✈️ Melbourne t.co/HFFL3aG05… t.co/gWZGCGVrH…

Grooooooove is in the heaarrrttt #Beats1

Michael &amp; Katherine #marriedbyjosh and ushered by Google the pug who was ushered by Mutt I… t.co/RitwxiRCg… t.co/7IgcQE3uP…

11 secret herbs and spices for a superb wedding t.co/qyNENPEcC…

There is seriously an amazing conversation happening on Beats (GTA) 1 radio right now about unicorns.

Beats 1 radio is basically real-life GTA radio.

Dreaming of New York t.co/ZLhZGcRw2…

I’m the luckiest boy #marriedtobritt t.co/gv9fvW2UY… t.co/rQaq9q4mJ…

“Aaarggghhh, we’re married!” Austin &amp; Natasha #marriedbyjosh t.co/TOwHyNqf7… t.co/A5OE1druB…

Oh my … t.co/Ahi0RHB56…

Isha and Gladwynne asked me last night about some of my favourite weddings, and I had to t… t.co/6ywzkFSBI… t.co/UltQCWIab…

James &amp; Amy #marriedbyjosh t.co/D7JF3wija…

24 hours “you’re going to cry” notice. It’s all part of the #marriedbyjosh service t.co/uoti9nkxg…

My greatest fear is that I will never finish my Kindle and Podcast libraries.

Our prodigal pussycat has returned home after 24 hours roaming the streets! #steviewithers t.co/5plV6vTBb… t.co/ECxVKPvIg…

A how-to guide for celebrants wanting to be rockstars t.co/VgY68ZRIt…

I need to take my family out for dessert tonight in Brisbane. Where’s cool and hip and swanky?

Where should I take visiting family out for dessert in Brissie tonight? City/Valley/New Farm?

Not that you won’t have a great wedding if you don’t do this, but every single wedding I’v… t.co/eiajvxShn… t.co/ADrTQWomu…

There’s no better letter to receive in the mail than one that says thank you. Day: made. t.co/c1wMaQWXn… t.co/DBkNNQqzz…

How to: Uber at your wedding! t.co/rUDz2GklZ…

The flashing white light above the exit sign in the under-river tunnel does not scare me at all … #clem7

Spike and Ellie’s Jurassic Park themed wedding t.co/gYjlz0RHM…

ALL DAY BREAKFAST FROM MCDONALDS, BEATS ONE RADIO WITH APPLE MUSIC, AND MARRIAGE EQUALITY ON THE SAME DAY, WHAT A TIME TO BE ALIVE!!!

As much as all of our profile pics look real purdy, this short and sweet blog post is what people really need to see t.co/SAfwSTh4i…

How to get #marriageequality in Australia in three easy steps t.co/4Jo7r7CDa…

I have so much to say about @Beats1 …. it’s just so good. If nothing else, it’s bankrolled by Apple so I haven’t heard an ad … yet.

Beats 1. Wow. Bye, bye, music-only local radio.

Why you’ll never have a perfect wedding day, sorry t.co/CjEIHojcF…

The way the web was t.co/shSBWQ1gG…

How your marriage can help stop child marriage t.co/kTaPaoaa6…

Help make it happen for Greek Bailout Fund t.co/ngHL1Kwey… #indiegogo via @indiegogo

All the silly traditional things that marriage celebrants say but don’t have to t.co/MptUtIsw8… t.co/ddEjWdhE0…

In that, they’re all for massive corporates, or they don’t have the flexibility for my business structure, or that they’re so flexible etc.

I’d seriously pay someone $50 to guide me to the right CRM/business management tool. I’ve tried so many, they’re all the same :(

Chris &amp; Jade #marriedbyjosh t.co/Mxi4sQXpu…

So, the doctor is putting all of these pollens on me to find out which one makes me sneeze… t.co/QWVFZa2qq… t.co/3vOEIWZ18…

Field Days with @whitewhiteweddings #comingsoon #staytuned #marriedbyjosh #fielddays t.co/o0sv2rlkD… t.co/bJbHjcmk4…

My desperate call for all wedding venues to do this one simple thing t.co/x1G8K35ET…

I can understand Abbott’s hesitance on marriage equality. The last time we blindly followed the USA it cost us 40 diggers &amp; $7.5B.

The making of a happy wedding t.co/dezjxoeNj…

Which side does the bride and groom stand on? t.co/nGLRH9E9Z…

Pretty excited about going stateside next month! I’m an authorised celebrant/officiant in … t.co/8XYoUBrEY… t.co/1pgSqzqHw…

Massive thank you to U On Sunday magazine for featuring me today! :) t.co/EwTJAZ0ln… t.co/oSCs07zSI…

Awesome podcast that I was on :) t.co/5RAdaIFfr…

It’s true, those yanks have zero in common with us Aussies. t.co/TmLPnRyhd…

How to get the best performance out of your new marriage celebrant t.co/1PFOZ4Gzw…

I tried to make a joke about 2015 wedding trends t.co/co63wSgBk…

Facebook tonight t.co/6Nj10AoOr…

Used this in a wedding ceremony today :) #LoveIsLove t.co/OYDaqNF1e…

A quick, post-wedding, dental checkup, “say ahhhh!” Josh &amp; Belinda #marriedbyjosh #joshand… t.co/PAhPlzJg3… t.co/EYEsc9ndw…

Wearing @cooperbrothersties and my @peggyandfinn tie clip to #joshandbelinda2015’s #weddin… t.co/ch4y4E9u1… t.co/NfT5UF97l…

Nixon, not gay about gays t.co/U9IpO6uB4…

I’ve collected some of my favourite alphabet letters into 800 words for @rufflesandcake Townsville wedding mag t.co/bIL4BnULa…

What to do with all these wedding traditions t.co/8RRlyz39s…

How about we get some of that progression out of the basement to give the old law a bit of a spit polish and make her look all modern again?

In 1961, Australia introduced some of the most progressive marriage legislation in the world.

In news from the USA: No union is more profound than marriage, for it embodies the highest… t.co/LD69zhabH… t.co/K0K1rd2dU…

Why Valentine’s Day is a great day to have a wedding t.co/CHeA2YPWg…

Received the most beautiful note in today’s mail. Thank you, @amberthecelebrant 😊 t.co/cgeKzZJmQ… t.co/2HTYIas23…

Why I ask for a donation on my booking form t.co/SbU7mXL8P…

Can’t wait until Sunday! t.co/t3GFI1dcf… t.co/MJPLjZXPi…

An engagement announcment video you can dance to t.co/5DV4Ej8sj…

French taxi drivers stage nationwide promotional effort for Uber t.co/0jVTcwatm…

I just Ubered pro skateboarder, Mikey Mendoza, to Surfers to celebrate his 18th birthday w… t.co/KUDSP7son… t.co/ZSLhpi0Yl…

Britt and I are in this weekend’s Sunday Mail! t.co/C3IdQxzDJ… t.co/r88x2Tl9T…

This weekend!!! t.co/7iXvt3jpi…

Britt &amp; my love affair with #Perth continues next year, we’re bringing the @popupwed back to @KidogoArthouse in 2016! t.co/RTxpoCoax…

The best thing about eloping is revealing the secret to everyone! @AaronShumPhotography is… t.co/tEtBwdNa3… t.co/QFKt7lB3Q…

Vik + Jemma #marriedbyjosh 📷 @katietakesapicture 💐 @stemdesignflorals 🍻 @restaurant_2 🔊 @b… t.co/slBq3V62u… t.co/gssZtX5P5…

Putting your OWN wedding ring on your OWN finger t.co/3qwUyWxzd…

Should someone tell the Catholic Church that marriage became a civil thing in OZ in 1961. They’re not losing it today, they lost it in 61

Can’t wait to reveal yesterday’s elopement with @hellobrittanyjane &amp; @popupwed, @Wilde.Vis… t.co/2Mmgo0sqG… t.co/PXKfWXk5E…

MileHi - a frequent flyer’s social network t.co/xTtUjjJOa…

Did the movie Interstellar move you? Here’s a wedding reading you might like then t.co/kBiYBy4ju…

#Repost @aaronshumphotography with @repostapp. ・・・ Elopement | I normally don’t kiss and t… t.co/UD01A8iWs… t.co/nCxSfxGNA…

This couple are eloping so they can’t show their faces on TV, because their parents don’t know that they got married t.co/tSZVVW9V8…

This couple are eloping so they can’t show their faces on TV, because their parents don’t … t.co/BTgePD0UM… t.co/AiSdPc0RF…

Our awesome information night is tonight! You can still register at t.co/79hi4aTK6… t.co/4rzODTuBB… t.co/hM9mZXV47…

A look back at the history of marriage in Australia t.co/1HL8lrb4P…

Pocket Apple Watch t.co/0kJaQroVr…

The most I’ve been excited by a USB drive in quite a while t.co/kHSUOr28J…

How to unplug your wedding t.co/9HvsGMbeo…

One woman’s quest to change her last name after her wedding t.co/usXb6SFV7…

Just realised I’m now authorised to marry same sex couples … in the USA! Such a long way to travel to access equality.

#hawaiipopupwedding t.co/TSe3tTs8i… t.co/To9spjBml…

All ready to make husbands and wives in Hawaii!!!! t.co/4hIAdWIMD… t.co/wsRz22edy…

That’s a bit cray cray, Ruddy.

Phillip Ruddock on Q&amp;A last night proposed rescinding the authority of civil celebrants, closing 8800 small businesses in Australia.

Post-donut apocalypse with @lemontreefilmhouse &amp; @hellobrittanyjane t.co/xWtL1cwd6… t.co/x5JHCuYrf…

Seth Godin on plans … wedding plans t.co/GgbVCfXz0…

Does lying about your wedding being a wedding save you money? t.co/gvDIg8xXI…

Send your enemy panties. There is a whole cottage industry dedicated to sending things to your enemies now. t.co/utA0Z8SGT…

How to get married in Bali … maybe even with an Australian celebrant like me :) t.co/sbBOknC0E…

Why aren’t there any homeless people in Dreamworld? Can the rest of Australia learn from this progressive local community?

Business idea: pools without water for people who can’t swim.

When I’m your celebrant I’ll print your vows onto these snazzy greeting cards that @sennaj… t.co/FlMdQGaB9… t.co/vS7TMlaw6…

The problem with wedding photographers is … t.co/ZC0aZpmh9…

Courtney &amp; Shane #marriedbyjosh t.co/vDkE6XaYz…

Unbelievable upside-down hanging cake by Lui &amp; Angie’s maid of honour, Nicky, of @sugarbom… t.co/19wrisfKd… t.co/DHKwi7hGz…

The last #vikandjemswedding selfie we were able to take before the zombies attached. Vik … t.co/iqwpLRlPT… t.co/24squCaws…

Some people eat their emotions. I just buy new neckwear. Sorry, @hellobrittanyjane. t.co/G1F0JjCHq… t.co/ALZDcifFz…

Lui + Angie #marriedbyjosh #luckyus t.co/5gtayr7bR… t.co/4mUSDDhFP…

I’d like to think that pop stars just spend their weekends watching their old music videos, shaking their heads t.co/3qfma4YEn…

“I Like You” and I also really like reading this reading at weddings! t.co/lyKZMTDu3…

I just married Joe and Julie ahead of their Viking ceremony this afternoon. This is us sca… t.co/BSO4f9ra7… t.co/8AQy1kEy1…

“Why pop-up?” by my friend Bianca t.co/g8uqssSNz…

Hashtag, awesomefriendsareawesome t.co/W1s7xpeLw…

Excitement is brewing around the Withers house as we just secured tickets to see @replyall in a live podcast recording while we’re in NYC!

Me! on “Save The Date” the wedding podcast t.co/EmTz6BbUC…

Everything I’ve ever done t.co/ulAzEXO6G… t.co/rSfQj7kmD…

My big celebrant secret: I don’t read a ceremony from a script t.co/oMQdhACX6…

Donation made! t.co/l8ykDqJ4Z…

PM announces plan to put wind turbines inside unused sheds t.co/Lsk9bhbuq…

“Search for Josh Withers now” - 97.3fm t.co/Mb2Sev79b…

The Internet’s Pub t.co/2Fy167EoH…

This thought about perfect, and in my mind, perfect weddings, has been rattling around my head for days t.co/EiqnRhLpa…

I spent this evening with Danielle and her team from white+white weddings and events dream… t.co/nf1AlQ35Q… t.co/PPbFdB1bv…

I’ll always remember the day I met the late Gold Coast Mayor, Ron Clarke, and he called me Red Dog for no apparent reason.

Why do I need a wedding planner? t.co/4sKFOtSOT…

Creating your wedding social media policy, a quick guide t.co/YicYknC2V…

Thanks for having me, @highchurchbrisbane / @amaineventwedding / @zencatering / @therushgr… t.co/PyAEk98Xk… t.co/of0x8qveC…

It’s @highchurchbrisbane wedding open night time! t.co/qqCBvOkzr… t.co/IUCi2JMVl…

Pretty disappointing to see that Chris Pratt isn’t a real velociraptor trainer. t.co/Gpa3jBNZE…

Boat stopped. Thanks, @TonyAbbottMHR t.co/vAL6dVaPw…

A same-sex marriage ceremony between a male couple named Eddie and Al and Paul Simon is the wedding singer, dream wedding.

Thanks for today, @thephotoboothguys! #opd2015 #AustralianCelebrationsTraining t.co/wdBmdU9Kb… t.co/nfmMz8wWu…

Talking #Instagram with some help from @thephotoboothguys @ @thephotoboothgirl at #opd2015 t.co/Eu0ogtoxS… t.co/H0ioLt2xe…

Teaching @Instagram at #AustralianCelebrationsTraining #celebrant #opd2015 with a little h… t.co/W8GBrGZrr… t.co/L1nzPDQxf…

Love me some Huey Lewis and Method Man wedding readings t.co/49CFBPxXh…

The common problem with wedding ceremony chairs t.co/aSVZLLTVM…

Beyond almost all doubt I can say there is not a single USB-C storage device in Queensland available for purchase.

Planning for a marriage, not a wedding t.co/XGGQORdKO…

In today’s mail: a new @peggyandfinn wooden tie clip. Looks like I’m ditching the #bowtie … t.co/DZz20lpjS… t.co/aM0icNf3K…

Andy &amp; Meredith #marriedbyjosh t.co/oVFhQzpj8…

Can someone help with a screenshot from an Android device? Just need a screenshot of searching the Play Store for Instagram

My value proposition on this new wedding directory listing would be described as “strong” t.co/qTUoPPakv…

Enrol at wedding school today! (i.e. come to our information night) t.co/Ui73tyGWJ…

The new MacBook 12" even lacks an infra-red port so the Apple Remote doesn’t work for Keynote presentations.

It’s quite embarrassing for Apple and annoying for owners, that the new 12" #MacBook is so under-supplied for accessories.

Check out these realy weird wedding traditions t.co/Soi1oW9i3…

Did you know that you have a fan? t.co/TRyvruyms…

Weddings years ago were crazy, silly, and weird t.co/A4UiY8m5m…

That moment when the foo wins the battle, but loses the war #FooFighters t.co/BvXTxY3fu…

Ben &amp; Sarah #marriedbyjosh t.co/XExJ7dJaw…

“Hey Josh, thanks for everything, and for being an important part of our special day! We c… t.co/CU03SDtwU… t.co/ohIeAsl4W…

Another day, another celebrant emailing complaining about something I have no idea about t.co/yMnid7KVc…

Can a husband take his wife’s last name in Australia like Zoe Saldana’s husband has? t.co/IDM5wmAZk…

My secret herbs and spices revealed t.co/dSWQO25GE…

Kate &amp; Dan #marriedbyjosh t.co/vPBgPkRSE…

This Tuesday: @HighChurchBrisbane is openings the doors to #FortitudeValley’s newest weddi… t.co/rNLM26rH3… t.co/xTFyr0Oeh…

I’m featured in Brisbane Wedding Weekly Magazine t.co/xFNsKkD9E…

“Now that the dust has settled on the wedding, honeymoon, move to Brisbane and new jobs, R… t.co/lksENgh7Y… t.co/BfKh9dwo4…

I’m not that good of a tourist.

We’re going to New York next month and the only plan I have for the city is to read the New York Times in a Starbucks one morning.

Lee and Courtney#marriedbyjosh t.co/P3RO6xjX0…

Pre-marriage education, and everything you need to know about it t.co/JXz5nyKJk…

People often ask me what Britt’s role in our business is. This photo is an accurate descr… t.co/IZqNr91r1… t.co/3d4G7roFE…

|| ONE MONTH! || only one month till the @popupwed is headed to @shambamalaika - yayyy!! 👰… t.co/kPabldbPp… t.co/NVkOJF7tP…

There are two ways of saying the monitum. Like a weirdo and with class. t.co/bo5h2NBNY… t.co/IauUaSGDv…

Terrible weddings have these things in common t.co/MajwPsPJi…

I’ve gone gold #MacBook t.co/ANoyj7zIB… t.co/gN2fvFlyN…

Walking into the Apple Store and still don’t know what laptop I want to buy.

Kat &amp; Dan #marriedbyjosh t.co/sRHXuRyrp…

We’re being awesome Instagramographers today at Cedar Creek Estate Vineyard and Winery tod… t.co/RN3fz1OCO… t.co/kNqFdwmDr…

My beautiful wife! t.co/0iukxBaix…

“We’ve never been to a wedding as amazing as ours! Josh, you are a legend and that’s reall… t.co/SqWrBgM2w… t.co/nbNX496TV…

Creating an awesome wedding can be crazy hard, come along to this info night to get some help from me and my friends t.co/OIyP8iZat…

Hashtag, advertising t.co/I6EuMIMPb…

“If the world is cold, make it your business to build fires.” - Author, Horace Traubel, describing the very basic fundamentals of business

Rockin the #973fm studios today with my old mate Enis! t.co/TWxAaIfYQ… t.co/LJBIFELD7…

Much excitement in the #MarriedByJosh office today as the first issue of #CatalystWedMag l… t.co/8OTRMwpXR… t.co/l3hzxY8yE…

Immerse yourself in wedding planning goodness with me, G&amp;M DJs, In the Booth, and Beautifu… t.co/0ICH5nR8y… t.co/G0faAVCnM…

Why gay brides and grooms are the luckiest t.co/dettCTf7P…

I was hoping for some Apple laptop refreshes this week but they don’t look like they’re coming and my MacBook Air 11" is showing its age.

Does anyone know anyone who owns the new 12" MacBook?

“AMAZING! This sums up everything Josh was on our wedding day. He made our ceremony everyt… t.co/G7CnBdjCh… t.co/PY3BicyyV…

Let me help you understand wedding traditions t.co/VrI3its8C…

Million dollar business idea: start a touring New Radicals covers band called the Old Radicals.

Natasha &amp; Gavin #marriedbyjosh t.co/ZOsZndVez…

They say our brain is our greatest enemy, but that’s exactly what the drop bears want you to think.

Really excited to see more of @jimmy_izophotography’s pics from @popupwed’s #perthpopupwed… t.co/p1ks5rGGJ… t.co/QAaVHidgE…

Found this bargain at Robina K-Mart today t.co/Xb5DP5sXv…

Kaycee &amp; Ben 💏 #marriedbyjosh at #Brisbane’s fanciest burger bar, @ChurBurgerBrisbane 🍔 an… t.co/6RaHnIkJT… t.co/H4PU6AOpV…

|| MEN || feel like spoiling your man this long weekend? Our friends, @peggyandfinn, are h… t.co/QKebjK65E… t.co/zZxVqcqoS…

Ben &amp; Kaycee getting it on like Marvin Gaye #marriedbyjosh Prep Venue: @trypbrisbane #Cer… t.co/n6jY6w3Te… t.co/3Q5JFjrG3…

Read this White Magazine interview: The Young Celebrant t.co/SIFsAiiE9…

Caitlin’s my hero t.co/rriFpAws1…

Paper, rock scissors to decide who exchanges their vows first. Ben &amp; Kaycee #marriedbyjosh… t.co/hLw5HbBsw… t.co/FhIEESRCc…

What is a pop-up wedding? t.co/TJMAXCN4a…

It’s an extraordinary gesture to love someone, beaten by only one thing, to be loved by so… t.co/VDsnXBpYE… t.co/KeO2Soq5c…

Ben &amp; Kaycee #marriedbyjosh at @churburgerbrisbane! t.co/SNS1nblE8… t.co/WjJ50VatX…

I’m leaving the sexist part of the wedding industry &amp; joining the feminists t.co/Hop6DeXIS… t.co/leRcRm7Tv…

A to-do list for the groom t.co/xsZx0tfVi…

How to be a kick ass Master of Ceremonies/MC t.co/7std1Cvnp…

The problem with having a problem with the wedding industry t.co/vT0qVpWtA…

Lisa Simpson on marriage, for your wedding ceremony t.co/hxDLcPLt4… t.co/TgrkGIu3q…

Brian &amp; Lauren #marriedbyjosh t.co/wjz7Dvnwj… t.co/Nbpmjz5Dx…

“Communication maketh a marriage” - Connie, my marriage educator friend t.co/ezQlbz8Wu…

Patrick &amp; Yolanda #MarriedByJosh at #BroadwayChapel t.co/DzruPhaT5… t.co/ELzslMnQl…

Diamonds are BS … #OopsIDidItAgain t.co/tViDhwjzW…

Had so much fun on this podcast! t.co/pz5RN42zk…

Looovveee this new feminist wedding mag t.co/uFD9ZF1un…

Look out for our story in an upcoming edition of U on Sunday in The Sunday Mail! :)

Get married online t.co/fkfEX2R9S…

How to avoid seeing your dressmaker or wedding supplier in the TV news t.co/kMbE7WKEJ…

A fairy tale wedding reading t.co/a043I5t2J…

Really impressed with Google Inbox. I just booked flights and accommodation &amp; it groups them automatically like this t.co/ftfFkFmDL…

‘Union’ by Robert Fulghum t.co/TUvYLIrkV… t.co/ePM4JDLdU…

Chris and Melissa #marriedbyjosh t.co/FAQy28I3j…

2015 Wedding trends according to reputable newspaper, The Onion t.co/af5E7sMKM…

I don’t have much consistency in my life, but there is this one thing: for the last 4yrs I have accidentally been in Sydney on June the 3rd.

In the end it always ends up being cheaper to not fly @JetstarAirways doesn’t it.

GC-SYD @JetstarAirways flight running 20 minutes late so now the staff have free time they weigh everyone’s bags, charge Britt $100 for 1kg.

Will I do a nude wedding? t.co/Riqap5124…

Honoured to be spending the day with Sydney’s best celebrants in their OPD training!

Voting closes soon for “Most popular celebrant” in the WIE Awards! Vote for me now at: t.co/izBW9sTeO…

What do I talk about in a wedding ceremony? t.co/fHHUiDtfF…

I had a chat to ABC news about the gender-biased monitum required in every wedding ceremony t.co/yx0xtnYKG…

Ryan Jon invited me onto his new podcast, 30 minutes talking all about me, if you’re into that! t.co/cKyCU56aR…

Woohoo! I’m marrying Lisa and Alex at Spicers Clovellt Estate! #marriedbyjosh t.co/EWV3tSERG…

Woohoo! I’m marrying Lisa and Alex at Spicers Clovellt Estate! #marriedbyjosh t.co/EWV3tSngi…

I’m using a new PA system; and why you care t.co/EHm6JS6TA…

Pretty things for brides t.co/Gj7zY80ms…

Why I joined the cast of Married At First Sight t.co/tw2IGDqwg…

Working out of the #MarriedByJosh NSW South Coast, Bulli Branch Office today t.co/3N7kQ9LjQ… t.co/8l0xIEFUx…

If you were outraged by Married At First Sight, make sure you watch My Online Pride straight after it! t.co/3MNexXg2d…

No-one is giving you a $6000 wedding gift, so beware of frendors t.co/a2v2iYy3R…

How about that sunset … and all the photographers t.co/HqgyY2EJe… t.co/Fo7sXtBtA…

QF864, Gold Coast bound t.co/b6LdYmALu…

Why did I leave breakfast radio and become a wedding celebrant? t.co/vuzmFhjm1…

“In vain have you acquired knowledge if you have not imparted it to others” - Deuteronomy … t.co/UBMTOIGcP… t.co/rjDxvdOII…

REGRAM TO WIN the full Say It With Polish range plus $300 towards the Australian pop-up we… t.co/fIAnp6hOJ… t.co/3OxN6lhBX…

#Repost @popupwed: || PERTH || We love that @poppyandwillowblooms thought a little outside… t.co/eAMDmCOkc… t.co/2aAokFdyt…

Just a regular Sunday at the office t.co/I5DBQ2DKP… t.co/bD168t8Sv…

#MarriedByJosh Mythbusting: “Can you get drunk before your wedding ceremony?” t.co/TEDAMlTvT…

Why marry? The question Australia should be asking today t.co/10maASEcP…

Very modern ‘book in the bookshelf t.co/fGFwMXHZe… t.co/beJ19UyUA…

Creative ways to reduce your wedding budget [Warning: this is a joke] t.co/dceilm99d…

Brisbane ✈️ Sydney

Chris + Ellie #marriedbyjosh! t.co/1XliofSPY… t.co/8StbNMJBH…

Ryan and Meika #marriedbyjosh t.co/YCa2mpfNB…

Nicole and Justine make Beautiful Weddings t.co/3IEOKYC0t…

Really enjoyed this photo essay by Ashleigh Croxford​ from her trip to Bali :) t.co/ArpoT7cKF…

I chatted to Lui from Max FM Taree this week, listen here: t.co/ulOysJMyz…

Thanks for having us #Perth! We’re back for the next #perthpopupwedding on September 20 in… t.co/5UeGgDGwx… t.co/4WhDUYZ4n…

So freaking nice to be back in Queensland … if only for 20 hours.

Twenty wedding hacks t.co/njkaeMBGI…

Zach Braff’s wedding photobomb is a smilemaker t.co/Js12lBonu…

Perth ✈️ Brisbane

Meet my friend Josh that makes films t.co/eDYiGgeZJ…

James &amp; Michelle #marriedbyjosh at Jonah’s Whale Beach on #MarriedAtFirstSight more pics at t.co/mq6EymLAB… t.co/lIxuxMjVw…

Downloaded my magazines and newspapers for my flight home today, thanks @Qantas! t.co/G5efuJR0W…

This is cool for @Qantas frequent flyers t.co/5ojdSlYNS…

Nick &amp; Nikki #marriedbyjosh at the @kidogoarthouse @popupwed photographed by @Jimmy_iZOPhoto! #popupwedding t.co/5zifgQgHt…

Animated wedding GIFs are … sah in right now t.co/rjZFvEhGK…

The boring wedding checklist t.co/YceXS7alz…

Go Nicole! The Botanist in The Weekend Edition t.co/XOMYGPiFZ…

Dear Internet, please help, I think “Muffin Like Our Coffee” is an awesome coffee shop name. Britt thinks it’s stupid. Please comment.

I think it’s safe to say we’re not moving here soon lol.

Britt’s read on Bunbury: it’s a town full of adult stores, cash converters and real estate agents.

We’ve had a powerful week in Western Australia. Two days of Pop-Up Weddings marrying 24 co… t.co/s9creAcoz… t.co/zLg5NLZvJ…

Share this blog post with a wedding guest … so they know t.co/K7PTjVaGS…

People still recognise me as “that celebrant off the Today Show” … which is pretty freaking cool t.co/IpniAGc1F…

Music industry awesome friend of mine shares his thoughts on choosing your wedding songs t.co/dShMoa8Vw…

Only in the west t.co/UgVe10LDJ…

Photographer friends of mine first-look photos t.co/P9658Ipwy…

Spent today training 14 of Mandurah’s finest celebrants!

Photographer friends of mine favourite ceremony locations! t.co/bcmPbD49u…

“Don’t stress” says Nicole t.co/GiMR95Ev1…

Sitting down and watching #MarriedAtFirstSight in a resort in Mandurah with Britt for the first time. It’s a great show!

We married 24 couples, 48 people, with a bunch of our amazing friends this Sunday/Monday. … t.co/yrb8uYqR3… t.co/Uf3FqDFlg…

Michael &amp; Alyssa #marriedbyjosh at the #perthpopupwedding!!! t.co/0Zk7fqocA… t.co/0WFczApi4…

Milly &amp; Errol #marriedbyjosh at the #perthpopupwedding! t.co/VexWfpXsi… t.co/7zLKmyoOt…

Toby &amp; Teiga #marriedbyjosh at the #perthpopupwedding! t.co/jGR8rBNdH… t.co/3bxHLdBcO…

Photographer friends of mine favourite location shoots t.co/AAfg8Fj6K…

Tim &amp; Skye #marriedbyjosh at the #perthpopupwedding! t.co/VYnCBnKFW… t.co/VrlpVF8jl…

Photographer friends of mine share their favourite wedding style t.co/CYYXOuXMD…

Lauren &amp; Hayden #marriedbyjosh at the #perthpopupwedding! t.co/m0IEhysQ3… t.co/rLvMshj4n…

Tim &amp; Britt #marriedbyjosh at the #perthpopupwedding! t.co/9u6z47Oj5… t.co/v0ci7kT6d…

Photographer friends of mine share their favourite bridal parties t.co/BDF3PP8TE…

Hayden &amp; Lauren #marriedbyjosh at the #perthpopupwedding t.co/pPAWqcnRe… t.co/akLNecCDE…

Nic &amp; Nikki #marriedbyjosh at the #perthpopupwedding! t.co/yCOVF8Hsh… t.co/H7yJkH1kJ…

Damien &amp; Candice #marriedbyjosh at the #perthpopupwedding t.co/Z8s8EqFLd… t.co/UmurKs1jc…

#perthpopupwedding day two! t.co/VdbRUMe2z… t.co/Z8JCIE7Yt…

The best way to spend a day in Perth: marrying 14 couples with @shortydale at the @popupwe… t.co/DeZJA4lTs… t.co/r2xFBVsTE…

How I feel after the past month of Married at First Sight complaints to me, the Attorney-G… t.co/5fVTEgKgE… t.co/0e7rWiejh…

Ben &amp; Yvonne #marriedbyjosh at the #perthpopupwedding! t.co/owfrRSRJr… t.co/mCzoc2y75…

Dear #Perth: a #Fremantle Japanese restaurant open tonight, go!

Carly &amp; Tyson #marriedbyjosh at the #perthpopupwedding t.co/39HmakGLJ… t.co/4M5z0N7Yb…

A real honour to be workung with #Perth’s best #celebrant today at the #perthpopupwedding.… t.co/MhGLB4QLF… t.co/WBCXhjZKS…

Hashtagging your #wedding #likeabaws t.co/apeXhuTEz…

Luke &amp; Danica #marriedbyjosh at the #perthpopupwedding t.co/h4CgvhzfZ… t.co/qJJUT6Ggf…

Craig &amp; Katrina #marriedbyjosh #perthpopupwedding #popupwedding t.co/mC5VfqHYD… t.co/3eWAsQQy1…

Brenton and Jess #marriedbyjosh t.co/otRwoH0Xj…

Scott &amp; Wendy #marriedbyjosh! #perthpopupwedding #popupwedding t.co/ovgWnmtOD… t.co/w34qIlTQh…

“Be perfectly imperfect” a new wedding reading t.co/Z3eWt02hX…

Carl &amp; Annie #marriedbyjosh #perthpopupwedding #popupwedding t.co/3HsZ5xdyN… t.co/HAjnsEJ0V…

It’s #perthpopupwedding time! t.co/0CwRZ0J3e… t.co/lhzHcQREr…

Lady in Fremantle store is excited about “getting home to watch ‘The Dockers’”.

Britt asks her “is that that new reality TV show?”

We took off from Brisbane and chased the sun to Perth tonight. The Qantas 737 lost out to … t.co/91DhGJe6j… t.co/hZSVry0vi…

Bart &amp; Viv #marriedbyjosh t.co/lshLYi1n9…

Bali-Brisbane midnight to 6am this morning. Wedding today. Brisbane-Perth 5pm-11pm tonight. I’m so tired already.

Here’s a crazy wedding idea: intimate ceremony, massive reception t.co/5kzVYpdSP…

“Dear weddings, it’s not 2004 anymore” t.co/GVjmWH6W7…

Nicolas &amp; Lauren #marriedbyjosh! t.co/udXgqfMak… t.co/Lcre1n3GK…

I’ll always appreciate Bali’s dedication to 100% genuine fakes t.co/8hxeFC868…

Jalan Mertanadi t.co/Ut7CfRdfA…

Brisbane bound

Our little slice of heaven for the past week t.co/r3nSixkzP… t.co/u9Otjgu1u…

Nick and Jen #marriedbyjosh t.co/ejQ8D5Bia…

Awesome wedding vows, a how-to guide t.co/YXN220Jps…

Fran and Esteban #marriedbyjosh t.co/LNBwDU0hj…

I love trekkin across this crazy beautiful universe with her t.co/RY4d2iGqR… t.co/ENugDqvKX…

How much does an Australian wedding cost? And is yours more or less? t.co/OtFKKr6i5…

john Legend’s favourite blog post of mine t.co/EWoYzHgbg…

Carla is my friend that makes pretty dresses t.co/gKFX0Bwv8…

Thinking back to last year when Britt &amp; I joined the #Letterman audience, and Taylor Swift looked at me t.co/bZxEUd03N…

“BTW, saw you on tv the other night…great work but your tie was a bit boring lol.” - every single email this week

See you tomorrow, sun! t.co/eDX3PfNF5… t.co/ZmvJMqMUN…

Beach club lyf #mozaic t.co/lwnDwICGd… t.co/akL7RCWtl…

5 complete BS things people think about weddings t.co/LAx800a3J…

Lisa and George #marriedbyjosh t.co/Ky4AXhNZU…

I’m a hat guy now. Much to @hellobrittanyjane’s displeasure. t.co/Hq144FI35… t.co/KFZDuDVTS…

Oops! I tripped and accidentally had a weird wedding t.co/3QQjpzMzk…

Breakfast at #SeaCircus always comes with free quotespiration t.co/TQPfzM2bD… t.co/Ig1WeRBhI…

Does the ATO normally tax illegal activity? Would love to hear the taxi council on this one. t.co/JPPdaeFhp…

This up and coming band is playing in Bali while we’re here. How lucky are we! t.co/1ltRzjOwu… t.co/5sZ1Fm9NB…

The Bali skyline is scattered with kites each night. Much better than the skyscrapers of h… t.co/IAyaF85GP… t.co/1tff62o2B…

Want to watch me marry two strangers? Channel 9 tonight after 9:30pm #MarriedAtFirstSight has an encore screening!

Everyone’s emailing today t.co/Np7wTvnFL…

Stacey and Nathan #marriedbyjosh t.co/g5bRa6JJ7…

What to do after your wedding t.co/ZXhm6RraZ…

Jed and Kate #marriedbyjosh t.co/ba8iFKkrY…

Everyone’s emailing today t.co/KL9Pp5Qh9…

“We and I were searching for a celebrant who suited our relaxed style. After looking throu… t.co/Skz4jEdHW… t.co/SwX5xMUuP…

Everyone’s biggest #MarriedAtFirstSight complaint: “where’s the bow tie?” It was waiting on the sidelines, just waiting for a chance 2 shine

Boycotting #MarriedAtFirstSight over #marriageequality is a flawed concept. Approach the subject with research, thought, and positive action

So boycott government … or something smart like that xoxo

Dear Australia, neither @Channel9, #MarriedAtFirstSight, or Ai hold the power of #marriageequality in our hands. You do, when you vote.

How do I continually end up in controversy? t.co/HwyvVNDfQ…

Home! #Bali #Bintang #JoshTheBogan t.co/Puzmp4tbY… t.co/tSO2glrXX…

You’re going to love this marriage proposal video t.co/0tOkthLxu…

Lovey dovey stuff without the corn t.co/eUYa02d9w…

Alan Turing, The Imitation Game, and marriage equality t.co/lmqx50n5A…

Mike &amp; Sandi #marriedbyjosh t.co/ocLu2PD6H…

I’m nominated for most popular celebrant in the “Wedding Industry Experts Awards”!! Vote now t.co/UDcmYhbeC… t.co/cnjyKFzwc…

What’s so great about nerd weddings? Let me tell you :) t.co/vyDHDnf7u…

We’re coming for you, @hellobrittanyjane!! t.co/XaTawhjRL… t.co/Ruj9CaehP…

Please don’t go into debt to celebrate a marriage t.co/TYdwrc7qh…

Bali bound doing radio interviews in the Qantas Club t.co/NrRVB96Sm… t.co/HmkrhoAT4…

Chatting to Ryan &amp; Rosie on @hotfmwa this morning about #MarriedAtFirstSight

Woohoo! I’m marrying Jesse and Timothy at Alexander Clark Park, Loganholme, Queensland 4129! #marriedbyjosh t.co/EWV3tSERG…

Thanks for the update t.co/RroCEuWpL…

Earth’s most brutal wedding invitation t.co/YTqeHVTuH…

#MarriedAtFirstSight tomorrow night on Channel 9! I’ll be out of the country as it airs, s… t.co/nUO6Pew7j… t.co/aJ27nX4Lw…

You’re going to love #MarriedAtFirstSight on Ch9! (Josh cameo alert) t.co/T6OshVKQ4…

Simpsons Couch Gag | Rick and Morty | Awesome t.co/Kl9yAoyQ6…

Some of my favourite wedding readings t.co/JVZzEKKXZ…

A groom asks “Does a marriage have to be consummated?” t.co/gr0Dp3QVI…

The Pitch Perfect 2 review we all wanted to write t.co/h9CBwP3Ik…

Prepare to have your mind blown: the clock at #DoughnutTime is always correct because IT’S… t.co/VZPLzNZQc… t.co/lgOaDAkp1…

You’re right, it’s probably too late for you to do that thing you that would be awesome t.co/VflW9qe3u…

Excited for you guys to see this! t.co/BlRvnUMLM…

Ricky &amp; Amy #marriedbyjosh t.co/jiqg1FGYd…

Shane &amp; Gemma #marriedbyjosh t.co/18mrpWN8s… t.co/ncebZiEbj…

Love re-watching this video from the time we were all on Seven Sunrise! t.co/BsZOd5wcy…

Scott &amp; Rebecca #marriedbyjosh t.co/TNQcytauh…

Stuart &amp; Peta #marriedbyjosh! t.co/1P5AHIcVJ… t.co/hiCpnlSZR…

I just backed The Frustrated State on @Kickstarter t.co/FnYMdZsUI… #rebootau

As beautiful as @facebook instant articles are, it’s a death notice for not only the web, but the independent publisher.

Wesley gets it // @humansofny t.co/BoYL2pdhz…

Most ridiculous product of the week award goes to t.co/iB8GMUG8n… - Instagram filters for your eyes.

Lachlan &amp; Clare #marriedbyjosh #kindof #MarriedAtFirstSight t.co/CXzDlEWbS…

Clare’s freaking out, she doesn’t have the right flowers, cuts to her groom, Lachlan “I just want a laidback girl” lol #MarriedAtFirstSight

I’ve just gotten around to watching #MarriedAtFirstSight it is so good! t.co/DN6GtTwBI…

Rebecca &amp; Todd #marriedbyjosh t.co/3StQSkUO7…

Thank you for your service, Richester. t.co/7pbUrBrrh…

Soo much traffic between me and a beer t.co/l0p2Xsy2t…

Chris &amp; Simone #marriedbyjosh! t.co/NbEhepDMy… t.co/yxYL2tPgE…

Woah! You miss two eps of @atpfm and step back into a war of the sexes. I have a dream that one day penises and vaginas will hold hands.

Ian and Larissa’s marriage story is pretty cool! t.co/WGMRcKsZN…

I’m so torn. I want all the gadgets, like this Lily Camera. t.co/mRrA4WmXt…

That little show I’m in is live on Jumpin to watch right now t.co/Rvygn0ay6… t.co/avnpylCmY… t.co/WY0ZOa3J2…

#MarriedAtFirstSight is live on @9jumpin now t.co/DN6GtTwBI… t.co/9O9sXcnFo…

Britt’s on holidays 5 days earlier than I am t.co/MMmvDianZ…

I just burst in on Daz &amp; Dea’s family brunch at Harbour Town Gold Coast to surprise marry … t.co/Lp5ILp6mY… t.co/V9B2KmZx5…

Woohoo! I’m marrying Hayley and Theshan at Osteria! #marriedbyjosh t.co/EWV3tSERG…

I need me a weed pen vapor thing. t.co/GRpmWAjZu…

How are our #cats even alive if they’re chewing on electrical leads?? t.co/WYS9s3ySf… t.co/klgxIXcJk…

Hey @Molhoek, can I do a wedding here yet? :) t.co/zSBt6ilNT…

Guy using his laptop weirdly is my favourite guy, I see him most mornings at the post office bus stop t.co/salwxZiDY…

Pistol and Boooooo!, am I right?

Check out the video of the new Triple M Adelaide radio show now that Andrew Jarman won’t be on air anymore t.co/4vQRbvq4a…

Apparently, somewhere in here, is an article by me, in Japan’s FQ Magazine #ImBigInJapan t.co/LMzup3Wmb…

Wedding processional, aisle, and recessional, exit song suggestions t.co/uzv1jEYIS…

Nathan and Lauren #marriedbyjosh t.co/zv5wbHRfg…

“TV isn’t dying, it’s having babies.” t.co/9LP6mGoqQ…

Any chance of a Perth audio hire person being on Twitter and helping me find a Sennheiser LSP-500 to hire in Perth?

Can someone please do a video mashup of Barnaby Joyce and Captain Jack Sparrow in a sword-fight please.

Breaking News: “Yeah, nah, well, ya know” says Senator Glenn Lazarus on the forming of his own political party.

Do you even detox? t.co/IV1DaaJqV…

“Marriage celibate”??!! Thanks @stuartlayt lol

I want to be in 1972, in this audience, just singing along t.co/Pggsj2VUf…

Just searched the house for Britt’s travel credit card. She has wayyyyy too many handbags. And one travel credit card.

This is why I’ll only do weddings in front of water features when there is a videographer :) t.co/wJNLFPZTO…

Etihad has launched (the first that I have heard of) premium Twitter acc, only certain freq flyers are allowed access t.co/2EtMvYX8b…

JUST SAW MYSELF ON TV! #OMG t.co/fKgfO4su1…

“We knew you’d make us laugh and we don’t want to cry!” Kaycee &amp; Ben told me as we planned their Chur Burger alleyway wedding

I like winning free things so I tweet to gain an extra entry like a baws t.co/uumLi8E5p… via @tnwdeals

I like winning free things so I tweet to gain an extra entry like a baws t.co/qsup4MLht… via @tnwdeals

Have I ever rocked a wedding that you’ve been at? Then I’d appreciate your vote at t.co/GJyRFD6yp… :)

“Guess it’s time to open the old ‘There’s very little in the budget for families’ MS Word template again” - family groups today

Zoe and Matt have just booked me for their wedding in a funeral home. I’m now researching costume ideas. t.co/iQ2PNhocH…

“We just wanted to send a HUGE thank you for helping us have the most amazing ceremony EVE… t.co/FhTwoJ9eQ… t.co/XFwKhwB35…

Brandon and Jillian #marriedbyjosh t.co/hZv4JKDdw…

phone rings, I answer, silence for a moment, then an Indian accent begins speaking “Hello, am I talking to Mister Marriage?”

Why do people even use the #auspol hashtag? Like reasonable, intelligent Australians are thinking “I need to tweet with more fuckwits”

This app is a traveller’s saviour: it’s like a “WiFi only” mode for your laptop so your mobile data isn’t murdered t.co/uwVx1AwqH…

How cool is this wedding photographer story - talk about going above and beyond t.co/27Omh7epd…

Sia performs at beach wedding lead by Donald Fisher, school principal, on Home and Away #wtf t.co/rGN9wLAFa…

🎶Come sew with me, come sew, let’s sew a tie🎶 An open invitation for the Grooms of Brisban… t.co/kzZLrwCkk… t.co/ZK0pbr5ZT…

🎶Come sew with me, come sew, let’s sew a tie🎶 An open invitation for the grooms of Brisbane t.co/IwPtP54aT… t.co/HIUKTKAza…

Seems legit, @AFPmedia @QPSmedia, where should I surrender myself? t.co/kDQGzqwP7…

Gold Coast #UberX drivers should sign up for @sherpashare via t.co/uJyOHgs8e…

Woohoo! I’m marrying Taya and Millo at The Panorama Tallai! #marriedbyjosh t.co/EWV3tSERG…

Grooms!!! We’ve got a kickass event for you involving making your own bow tie, beer, and p… t.co/1UhjEF25i… t.co/MVzTYfmUd…

Ten wedding tasks you should be outsourcing t.co/TsNm990Sj…

Sewing for Grooms, tell the world, yo! t.co/IwPtP4MA1… t.co/kkEnZvvP6…

Bowties, beer, poker, at the “Sewing From Grooms” class we’re holding in June! t.co/yHqnz0rd3…

Booking form question: How did you find out about Josh? Booking form answer: You scared the shit out of me at a Lightspace wedding showcase.

The Pop Up Wedding is coming to Brisbane’s newest and coolest wedding venue, High Church in the Valley! t.co/9hCmXDm4v…

Excited to tell everyone more about this event coming up in June! More info to come soon! … t.co/FPxQAfz3S… t.co/LrqBODEAY…

I really really really like this t.co/PlctFpQbY…

Woohoo! I’m marrying Farzana and Matthew at Lightspace! #marriedbyjosh t.co/EWV3tSERG…

Britt’s guest blogging today: How to whip your wedding slaves into shape! t.co/C7EU9FedA…

Hello, @whitemagazine! t.co/X68TYOD5G… t.co/bog9zxlSz…

I just unfollowed someone who had to Google how to eat lychees. Social media is a tough marketplace, yo.

He fired me once when I accidentally wiped his laptop … but hired me back fortnight later :)

A bloody good guy but equally tough businessman.

Wow. Rhys Holleran has stood down as CEO of SCA. He’s been leading the radio network, and it’s earlier incarnations, for more than 24 years.

Elderly lady just called me “a gentleman and a scholar” and I’ve never felt greater pressure to go to university.

The @popupwed is going to church, @highchurchbrisbane!

More info at @popupwed

#popupwedd… t.co/eITONTsi5… t.co/1JuibjCQc…

#StevieWithers is celebrating another #MothersDay by being completely repulsed by her adop… t.co/9JU7NO1o6… t.co/1TmM3xNbF…

🎤Blame it on the rain, yeah, yeah🎤 Travis &amp; Michelle #marriedbyjosh at the #gcpopupwedding… t.co/09mE3xfXP… t.co/pHMBMvpAB…

People that have had a wedding, telling me what they would have changed about their wedding t.co/jwF4njoiy…

Andy and Esther #marriedbyjosh t.co/Md79hwERR…

Check out these US wedding trends t.co/iEEZm2EU2…

When I pass away I’m leaving my billions to a studio that will remake Batman vs. Superman, but they fall in love, just to troll homophobes.

Happy future-Mother’s Day to my spectacular wife, @hellobrittanyjane t.co/jVlUq9hNC… t.co/sypeA1r7x…

Jay &amp; Alana #marriedbyjosh t.co/r8XL4QW1x…

These wedding vows are worth stealing t.co/vkzl5VPBf…

Daniel &amp; Allison #marriedbyjosh! t.co/oKEDsJhX3… t.co/4QGLLekQl…

Opinion piece on why us kids from broken families are good peeps to hang out with t.co/ExRmegQfY…

Lachlan &amp; Lauren #marriedbyjosh! t.co/9XOTmQPo7… t.co/jOc55VAIx…

Ant &amp; Jacq #marriedbyjosh t.co/ZUJHMOFI3…

Three things you’ll find at every boring wedding t.co/yPV8erNkH…

Suncorp Stadium, the home of the last minute win

Ray and Linda spookily #marriedbyjosh t.co/1FqRViDPo…

This is pretty cool: A childrens book made into a wedding album t.co/PId6Ysgv0…

Michael &amp; Jasmine #marriedbyjosh! t.co/UPAlB9IXz… t.co/qeb4g37P3…

Andrew &amp; Cassie #marriedbyjosh t.co/HP2nNU1cM…

Danielle &amp; Lindsay #marriedbyjosh and photographed by Andy Sun evading the zombie apocalypse t.co/ljLKP4SmB…

I’m thanking the creators of Tinder in today’s wedding ceremony t.co/wNjV1FZtS…

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My thoughts on the science of celebrancy t.co/Ocpr1KcoD…

Katie &amp; Matt #marriedbyjosh t.co/qKNLyyJzp…

My equal in crime 😍 t.co/JraNHPxbW… t.co/9irnKRn7K…

Britt explains the difference between a budget wedding and a wedding budget t.co/LVKGmOmba…

Dan &amp; Steph #marriedbyjosh t.co/kTK5c0slZ…

A yummy version of a sand ceremony t.co/Jvt3STcfe…

Took @hellobrittanyjane to church last night t.co/2dAw6m1gD… t.co/kd7v2yhLn…

Carolyn and John #marriedbyjosh t.co/nx0X0OY97…

Married at First Sight on Channel 9 on May 18! #MarriedAU t.co/PsyppOQsI…

How to make sure your grandparents don’t fall asleep at your wedding t.co/J8ZlmsskO…

Why I hate wedding ceremony rehearsals t.co/m9Pe0VQ2S…

Viewing t.co/FzN05GSGg… on a desktop sees the advert as a background and I have to “request” the content with a mouse hover #weird

With any luck I’ll have one or two morals left for the back end of the year.

The irony of the morally controversial TV show I’m on airing while I’m on a moral-less holiday not boycotting Bali is not lost on me.

Please send all complaint letters to Brisbane Airport. I’ll collect them on my return from Bali :) #MarriedAU t.co/prBhdQqE9…

Pete &amp; Jodie #marriedbyjosh t.co/Y4I0mg36t…

Seven ways to involve your bridal party in your ceremony t.co/335S6xli2…

I call this picture “Whelming Love” t.co/QjhfqNQsJ… t.co/sFQhDPa6F…

Redefine your wedding by making it a combo wedding t.co/9N6Wd9E81…

Here’s to the crazy ones (I’m talking about you, Day) t.co/O4KdTfBsE…

New wedding directory listing :) t.co/2rrrCb1fu…

My guide to managing wedding related stress t.co/i77sgFKFT…

I’ve done the hard work and found other times in the week for you to get married! t.co/OlzT0eewU…

Danielle &amp; Lindsay #marriedbyjosh 📷 Andrew Sun t.co/gglvc3S3k… t.co/Zpxco1cXr…

My gorgeous @hellobrittanyjane at the #CanberraPopupwedding 📷 @silquephotography #popupwed… t.co/zdpyuH7kL… t.co/1u0WX6bLe…

Woohoo! I’m marrying Jan and Dud at North Stathbrooke Island! #marriedbyjosh t.co/EWV3tSERG…

Madelyne &amp; Paul #marriedbyjosh at the #gcpopupwedding #popupwedding 📷 @theleftlanephotogra… t.co/J4Dj2hYAc… t.co/UI2rzxqZK…

Avoid having a terrible wedding, have an awesome wedding instead! t.co/xK8sxQU1S…

How to memorise your vows t.co/yFxAToqcZ…

Thanks to Wedding Pages for listing me :) t.co/WRuiThUyf…

Help crowdsource a new tagline for Josh Withers Wedding Celebrant #oneliner t.co/b9t2KgIUx…

Can someone lend me $1000 to bail me out of this Charlotte jail? t.co/QtHkwFLHy…

Breaking News: journalists hit the streets to find out just how beautiful the newborn Royal baby’s name is.

Bride uses her phone down the aisle … of course t.co/4wZoqTth3…

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The blog post that welcomed the haters into my inbox. Bless you guys! #shakeitoff t.co/f4QXLxdud…

Sarah &amp; Gareth #marriedbyjosh 📷 @jessmarksphoto t.co/ttDShs06H… t.co/G3WE7i6mE…

“To say that our day was really and truly made perfect by having the greatest celebrant ev… t.co/9cWBZsAX0… t.co/YOO0RSvM1…

Raoul and Rosie’s surprise Mexican wedding fiesta! #marriedbyjosh t.co/Mb3hlTJTx…

The worst wedding video cameraman I’ve seen - so awkward t.co/g6h3iLPHJ…

What comes out of the speakers when I’m speaking at a marriage ceremony? t.co/rnkyJvnHQ… t.co/d79S3PRRq…

For $37 you can get lei’d on arrival at Honolulu International. Cheap lei.

Happy #MayTheFourth! #maythefourthbewithyou Ryan &amp; Meika #marriedbyjosh 📷 Red Apple Photo… t.co/FSjNBvra0… t.co/kTLeAPEnM…

Happy #MayTheFourth! #MayTheFourthBeWithYou Ryan &amp; Meika #marriedbyjosh and pics by Red Apple Photography t.co/MltV80fSZ…

Found a partial $10 on my driveway - what to do with it? t.co/1QxZK8Mxy…

All the things I say at a wedding ceremony. t.co/1cWEzHDTf…

Dear Mr Bank Manager t.co/uosFRA4WF…

Shane &amp; Candice #marriedbyjosh t.co/k9QrbaGiN… t.co/iFcPJoC4f…

I’ve got a new PA system for your wedding, and it’s gonna rock! t.co/Gr2D44zqg…

28 wedding ceremonies this month. Oh my lord. I think I need a nap.

So @hellobrittanyjane, @biancaway, @dilquephotography &amp; @poacherspantry created #popupwedd… t.co/xCBqBY8yf… t.co/cbtdTW9CE…

Woohoo! I’m marrying Kelcie and Arndt at Pizzey Park pine forest! #marriedbyjosh t.co/EWV3tSERG…

Breather - Get peace and quiet, on demand - I want all of this! t.co/kIUcTWhqd…

Did you know that in a Melbourne school hall right now there is another big award night on with confiused sponsorship, the TV Week Loogies.

Meet my friend Michelle. She makes pretty things that I know nothing about! t.co/LYJeGR6fe… t.co/K61we9g7p…

Floyd Mayweather remains unbeaten, a title most of his former girlfriends cannot lay claim to.

Sweet sweet pretty things for brides t.co/icBGqivi1…

Crowd cheers for the homophobe, boos for the woman beater. Hard choice to make cheerers.

I’ve always wanted to call an Uber from inside Word t.co/gAeZfmTbL…

Don’t you hate it when you’re sitting there minding your own business and suddenly remember how much you don’t care about the boxing.

Pretty proud to associate myself with 36 of the country’s best celebrants … check out these hot peeps t.co/WDobpTr4L…

Monorail is crawling back to the Oasis with lights off. Dodgy!

Broadbeach Monorail has been stuck in between Oasis &amp; Jupiters for more than 10 min. They keep restarting its power. t.co/39WQwNewV…

Q&amp;A on video: Why did I become a celebrant? t.co/veMrs3Upg… t.co/MOhWuOxdI…

If you want to know what a celebrant’s nightmares look like, last night I dreamt I was at a wedding and my pants were inside out.

Dane &amp; Janelle #marriedbyjosh t.co/k19wr4Zvf… t.co/mWqjFfGTb…

Tough day at the office t.co/1UvCozyJq… t.co/3kS3gzdrT…

If you want to try Uber out for the first time, here’s $25 to spend tonight: use the promo code THANKSJOSH.

Normy from Divine Studios asks me why I became a celebrant t.co/7slSlhAhg…

Have we reached peak mason jar? t.co/O8eDBUZKL…

News headline: Husband of the year goes shopping for wife. t.co/WUBEgLR1K… t.co/6QBkZZEpk…

Brad &amp; Kelly #marriedbyjosh t.co/wYvPPiQgR… t.co/8nWyDk497…

John &amp; Mel #marriedbyjosh t.co/cQp83qtcR… t.co/dElSMVId9…

Two rich people expecting baby tease the peasants. Call the bully police asap!

Sometimes I look back over my typos and just cry, a little bit …

An aviation need #popup wedding? @chrisbrownie @MolksTVTalk t.co/lZ9SsDrR4…

The joy in her eyes #aggiewithers t.co/BpawhzLss… t.co/uK832CYVb…

Ardy &amp; Hannah’s wedding is just the party that keeps on giving.?how is this pic!? 📷 @pruef… t.co/Az8YNiu1F… t.co/O0Nf6STn4…

A million trips in #UberX’s first year in Brisbane. That’s 2700+ trips each day. #IChooseUber

Almost 1M trips have been taken on #UberX in #Brisbane in the last year #Happy1stBirthdayUberX #Uber

This video has blown my mind. Unlearning how to ride a bike and how that affects your bias. t.co/n4KVkwV6t…

We’ve got to deal with issues, not boycott.

We can’t just boycott shit every time we emotionally react to something. There’ll be no-one left in business eventually.

But sure, boycott Bali like a n00b.

Everyone’s boycotting Bali while it’s our AFP made the decision to not deal with the smuggling on Aust soil, but to dob them in to Indonesia

“We just wanted to say a massive thank you from the bottom of our hearts for making Saturd… t.co/Daupy8glF… t.co/npamTPwSw…

Four media appearances in the last 24 hours - the media tart is back!

Oh my god. Put the cameras down for a moment. Turn off the uplink. #Bali9

Live on 92.5 Gold FM soon! t.co/M1IrmN9Cs… t.co/9cKaNNBN8…

Britt and I join #SaveTheDate, the wedding podcast, such a great show! t.co/NwTIqoeCn…

And although I don;t miss corporate employment, at least I had a work finish time. Not any more.

I do not miss corporate employment at all.

Just got an email auto reply from someone in a large Australian media company, they’re away for the day for a “Culture Day”.

Who the feck has been looking at my profile page? t.co/WcHephH1P…

Proud to be a founding member of the International Association of Professional Wedding Officiants! t.co/xBtOtIGmK…

Launching a pretty freaking cool competition with @PopUpWed tonight!

Married At First Sight and why the legalities don’t matter so much t.co/hMo0hRfVH… t.co/UUEDHFV0o…

Woohoo! I’m marrying Erin and Aris at Kurilpa Park next to GOMA! #marriedbyjosh t.co/EWV3tSERG…

“I laughed, I cried, I signed” - Hannah, from the renowned duo, Hannah &amp; Ardy #marriedbyjo… t.co/pxoYgbRX2… t.co/OvKAt6OtB…

While mum’s away, our kitties get spoilt #steviewithers #aggiewithers t.co/8c293vUsZ… t.co/6k1IfJHZI…

I feel like movie piracy wouldn’t happen so much if they gave it a less-cool name, like movie algebra.

For when your husband dies. Oh my lord. t.co/IZpJiWjrQ…

Photographer friends of mine travelled through #Nepal and are selling prints to raise funds to help rebuild t.co/8jZFPHiXL…

Why I joined the cast of Married At First Sight t.co/qrB8upgdv…

How everyone needs to rate their #Uber driver - via @dallasclayton t.co/aL38D6Pcm… t.co/oAA1gKB7k…

“If you gotta go…GO WITH A SMILE!”

t.co/aLkUZ29Rg…

Writing a blog post at the moment based around this image - pic by Port Macquarie’s Iron and Clay Photography t.co/1Nk5ak2jo…

One woman murdered every 84 hours in Australia this year already. That’s 33 men that need to deal with their shit wayyyy better.

I don’t use, deal, or like drugs and even I’m feeling uneasy about going to Bali in a few weeks :/

It’s astounding how many people named Josh Withers think that their email address is joshwithers at gmail dot com. 5-20 emails daily.

t.co/Vr5MDNUfA… &lt;- it’s AirBnB but for meals

Aussie startup disrupting childcare t.co/PSiyRX1Im…

Hoping to do a non-weird unity ceremony at your wedding? t.co/EybuC38Xz…

Alex &amp; Tamara #marriedbyjosh t.co/8RYENcdbK…

One of these people isn’t going to be at home when I get there. Come home, @hellobrittanyj… t.co/UDNGV6MkZ… t.co/Fn68eXH8z…

#Repost from @styleleaisle: Hannah + Ardy Maleny Retreat @styleleaisle @gingerlilyrose @… t.co/D1bZOtaEr… t.co/hybCGLYvI…

How terribly awkward. Celebrant at my class doesn’t know I’m on #MarriedAU and is actively protesting against #MarriedAU.

#Celebrant news: There were 11,200 civil marriage celebrants in 2013, 10,700 last year, 8,900 last week. Expected to drop again in July.

Leading a class of celebrants in changes to the marriage paperwork today, plus a class on performing ceremonies, and SEO, in Teneriffe!

Best thing about self-employment? If I tweet something unpopular there’s only a few hundred people each year to fire me, instead of just one

I’ve lived in so many different cities around Australia, and I have loved all of them. Gol… t.co/jeXCCwamT… t.co/KjpJDQehp…

I have the coolest freakin job in the world. I get to walk up there and turn the mic on, m… t.co/aKrsuTifU… t.co/7KLpI2mWR…

Hannah and Ardy #marriedbyjosh in a better lit #celebrantselfie thanks to photographic gui… t.co/K3yhnOYNW… t.co/9D29h5CZ8…

Hannah &amp; Ardy #marriedbyjosh t.co/hyvrasv6W… t.co/YiH3GdPgk…

A note on wedding frendors (friend vendors) and saving $6000 t.co/R0zSppHEX…

thinks up hilarious tweet waits for retweets whilst sobbing

“I’m just a tuna roll girl living in a sashimi world” - girl catching the Sushi Train going anywhere, just now

“We’re just a really boring couple”, a bride and groom I married this week, tried to convi… t.co/CF989wMCn… t.co/YpIwteL8s…

Trap? lol t.co/5J6V5dABB…

John &amp; Kelly #marriedbyjosh at dusk t.co/ltlZir92v… t.co/vkoJXDSE5…

Mathew &amp; Tegan #marriedbyjosh t.co/8AMzi6Foy… t.co/2XHhw5yi1…

#MyIdol has done a pretty remarkable job of recreating me inside an app t.co/GyXhvnfla…

Woohoo! I’m marrying Karina and Trystan at macarther park weddings! #marriedbyjosh t.co/EWV3tSERG…

Woohoo! I’m marrying joey and blair at botanicals! #marriedbyjosh t.co/EWV3tSERG…

My family lost our Nanna today. 94 well-lived years. Miss you Nan. t.co/4rs8teamQ… t.co/FNj03dg8o…

My socks often don’t match with anything, today they match my phone case #HappySocks #SpottyWeddingCelebrant t.co/m4TtrlLN4…

Good morning, Currumbin, another proud day to be Australian. Lest we forget. t.co/ELkOMk9Bi… t.co/hJFvZ6bSq…

Bloody proud day to be an Australian. I love that an intrinsic part of our culture is sacrifice, commitment and loyalty. Lest we forget.

Damien &amp; Cass 💏 #marriedbyjosh at the #gcpopupwedding at #summergrove last Sunday! 😎 Coope… t.co/nMR7WPdSu… t.co/y2ZkZiL49…

Sean &amp; Emma #marriedbyjosh t.co/gZDquTNro… t.co/hxpOTRoZQ…

In case you missed it, I’m in the SMH/WAToday talking about #MarriedAU t.co/5GzXiSPST…

I spoke to Fairfax Media about Married At First Sight and why I was hesitant at first to j… t.co/BKkcb7fwI… t.co/e1pOiZpbF…

If you like reading your news with a local temp at the top, I’m also on @brisbanetimes t.co/a0QMQL5iO…

I spoke to @candice_barnes at @WAtoday about #MarriedAU and why I was hesitant at first to join the show t.co/E1160grDR…

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Me + @ThePhotoBoothGuys = ‘some awesome’ 😎 t.co/h1nZXOpoA… t.co/G5sp00DHM…

Woohoo! I’m marrying Kelly and Anthony at Sirromet Wines! #marriedbyjosh t.co/EWV3tSERG…

Hanging out at the Brisbane wedding venue that Dan &amp; Kate tied the knot at, tonight, Hills… t.co/V9rAlDNLm… t.co/WjWKRW1Np…

These two lovers just eloped in secret, with their photographer and barman witnessing thei… t.co/5aXedXlbX… t.co/VkFEoJHZg…

There’s one couple at every wedding :) t.co/Vf79xfYYm…

Just had a great chat with @candice_barnes from @WAtoday about #MarriedAU - online soon!

Ugh, I just used the word ‘Multimedia’ like it meant something.

I’ve achieved a lot in my time, I’ve been proud of many things, but I’m never prouder than when I fart and Britt dry-reaches.

Bigfoot riding Lochness Monster #seemslegit t.co/moRpR2mrb…

Clicked /r/thebutton at 19 seconds, but got 60 second flair. Life is harsh sometimes #thebutton #reddit #fml #firstworldproblems

I’m interviewed on the latest Youngpreneur’s Podcast with Victor Ahipene - listen in iTunes: t.co/V0QoHRb3S…

“Sunday was amazing in so many ways, and it all started with you and @hellobrittanyjane! T… t.co/LasZKkg49… t.co/NFs1S9ot2…

As I scheduled a weekend in a year from now I realised I’m a slave to my Google Calendar … t.co/d6sHj2nYW…

I just found my original old marriage register! I used this for my first five wedding cere… t.co/r7WJZp66c… t.co/ivGqC6gVx…

A few days ago two awesome people celebrated their first anniversary as husband and wife a… t.co/qziRvsNsg… t.co/MTD62qHVy…

Citizen of a regional area of Australia orders coffee at Zarraffa’s drive-through t.co/mrfKeIG1j… t.co/bWRBboPDP…

Losing weight is bloody hard.

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“I have unsuccessfully been trying to think of the right words to convey our thanks and gr… t.co/zpv70yfN9… t.co/Vln435UwG…

“Josh is the greatest celebrant ever!!! James &amp; I had the best day of our lives thanks to … t.co/8h4oKZq8O… t.co/5Q1pPLeOV…

look at email inbox after not looking at it in four days burns computer to the ground rocks back and forth crying

#Repost @hellobrittanyjane: Still on such a high from yesterday! This is S &amp; C, who have b… t.co/tN8FYJ1Tz… t.co/MC9xIy0HH…

GUY AT MY CAFE HAS AN OCULUS RIFT! WHAT IS THIS AWESOME TECHNOLOGICAL ERA WE ARE LIVING IN?

MacBook 12" compared to MacBook Air 11" in previous photo #Apple #MacBook #MacBookAir t.co/wFqAzkfu5… t.co/Pnuytq5DG…

MacBook Air 11" compared to MacBook 12" in next photo #Apple #MacBook #MacBookAir t.co/wLWSyWESY… t.co/7ajvDpS9O…

Wondering why the #AppleWatch demos seem a bit slow? Apple Store employee tells me that the demo runs… t.co/iyUHFr2Wf…

MacBook 12" vs MacBook Air 11" t.co/Saqzl0z2y…

After eight wedding ceremonies in eight hours, I saw Jess from @Wilde.Visual point a lens … t.co/qaSVRZFKn… t.co/ApiW1TpHz…

Eight weddings later t.co/Ug8p6n7TD…

Thank you to our eight couples today! We had the BEST #popupwedding at #summergroveestate … t.co/b9ZyMl9pL… t.co/tjoylnBQG…

Eight wedding ceremonies in one day. I am buggered.

Woohoo! I’m marrying Kellie and Nathan at Mermaid Waters - Private Home! #marriedbyjosh t.co/EWV3tSERG…

Kirra &amp; Mathew #marriedbyjosh at the #gcpopupwedding #popupwedding #popupwed #goldcoast #g… t.co/0EFA9GgUJ… t.co/PixgvdOEs…

Woohoo! I’m marrying Kellie and Nathan at Private House! #marriedbyjosh t.co/EWV3tSERG…

Michelle &amp; Travis #marriedbyjosh at the #popupwedding t.co/Gm0DrIKST… t.co/KNlYB4KLi…

Paul &amp; Madalyne #marriedbyjosh at @popupwed #popupwedding #gcpopupwedding #wedding #popupw… t.co/AQxYGBe5c… t.co/ed1g3z1Gf…

Never be afraid to lose yourself in a fit of laughter at a wedding #popupwedding #gcpopupwedding… t.co/vE9hzXnTJ…

Delvene &amp; Terry #marriedbyjosh at the @popupwed #popupwedding #popupwed #gcpopupwedding #w… t.co/dfFvvZlB0… t.co/MmBrkxvyK…

Cassie &amp; Damien #marriedbyjosh at @popupwed #popupwedding #popupwed #gcpopupwedding t.co/jcILP0oA1… t.co/IAJGJgOsr…

Emma &amp; Matthew #marriedbyjosh at the @popupwed at @summergroveestate #popupwedding #gcpopu… t.co/R6ZW7yCD3… t.co/6fyRsuofC…

Leanne &amp; Bronson #marriedbyjosh at the #gcpopupwedding #popupwedding t.co/VT8C5alDW… t.co/DpYtBcjuT…

The coffee before the storm. @hellobrittanyjane and I are marrying eight couples, 16 peopl… t.co/5I7CbUwh0… t.co/VsO1y3lDv…

Getting a Thai massage from #steviewithers t.co/5TF1o7VA1… t.co/zNlf2QkyQ…

Wedding myth busted: you can’t drink before your wedding. t.co/6oYuUEnsR… t.co/b5wlaPVHv…

Ran into Kath &amp; Kim (could be impersonators) t.co/58crx3VDO… t.co/coWYoQ6Pe…

Paolo &amp; Tina #marriedbyjosh t.co/xnIfxa3bT… t.co/3WyYFAntj…

I said “everyone pull a silly face”, but I was the only one to pull a silly face 😎 James &amp; Amanda #marriedbyjosh t.co/W9bRMqj8B…

Today on my blog I answer the question “how drunk can I be at my wedding ceremony for it t… t.co/kMrbm1moG… t.co/mojDUd3kM…

Everything you ever wanted to know about “how drunk is too drunk for a wedding” t.co/RFw403NN6…

Marrying eight couples tomorrow … #popupwedding

What is love? t.co/XcDk3hUUk…

$25,000 to get the cast of #SuperTroopers2 as your groomsmen at your wedding t.co/nUF7yvyY5… t.co/yOt0wtQlV…

Dear Mercedes with the ‘LE STIG’ number plate. You and I spend way too much time on the motorway. I’ve seen you like 5 times this week.

Me, talking email, on 6PR! Don’t hit ‘SEND’ in the arvo t.co/jcWZrpTcd…

5 ways to know if a Pop-Up Wedding is for you t.co/QvDWQfVPM…

Andrew &amp; Amanda #marriedbyjosh t.co/tv1o2VLSE… t.co/BEMOeBbyS…

Woohoo! I’m marrying Holly and Ben at Adora Downs! #marriedbyjosh t.co/EWV3tSERG…

Brianna &amp; Russell #marriedbyjosh t.co/xKHG0xv6j…

I was just talking to on of our #popupwedding photogs in #Perth. She tells me that the Kidogo Arthouse is ‘mint’. That means good, right?

On air on #Perth’s @6PR tonight talking emails, inbox:zero, @Mailboxapp and @Yesware​ #inboxzero

Putting my technology commentator hat back on and I’m talking emails and @yesware on Perth radio tonight!

Kate and Dan #marriedbyjosh t.co/wQsiMDv4A…

A little regram from @highchurchbrisbane. @hellobrittanyjane and I can’t wait to host our… t.co/SErEjNbI5… t.co/VCF7JeHWj…

Struggling with your wedding budget? Let the satirical newspaper, The Onion, help t.co/F9q7RkauG… t.co/TuZJ3Z1hu…

“Josh was the most amazing celebrant ever! We felt so comfortable and had the best day! Jo… t.co/WcOhhjXB9… t.co/0bcLLL7HN…

Satirical ways to reduce your wedding budget t.co/yKf9xPiK2…

NYC bound in July for an elopement with @popupwed!! You should come and get married too! #… t.co/XeEr9NHkG… t.co/Ox0srQ7i9…

Woohoo! I’m marrying Natalie and Daniel at Parents house! #marriedbyjosh t.co/EWV3tSERG…

Katie &amp; Andrew #marriedbyjosh t.co/QKyDXj20e…

#AnthonyAndElena #marriedbyjosh t.co/dhMvbWk55… t.co/GXMVJbywk…

If I was ever unsure about @snow_withers loving me, I know for sure she does because she gave me tuna and breath mints for lunch!

Any legal eagles up for tackling the word ‘present’? t.co/dtAsgiQlm…

Well this is a wee bit exciting! t.co/NQIhmfNR3… t.co/HUzVlj734…

I try to answer the question “Can you get married online?” t.co/dtAsgj7WK… t.co/tOXSZ3HqD…

New @TwitterAU bio t.co/P6Xm2giPr…

Kathy R. Jefford’s fairy tale wedding reading is a fun way to start a ceremony t.co/9Do80VpTK… t.co/70FylYI86…

Who’s the celebrant on #MarriedAU? t.co/9yooY25Ep…

Thanks for the H/T, @trevorlong! t.co/zbOY0Ke4v…

Ikea wants to help you host a wedding online, but is it legal? t.co/RzM65UsVW…

Does anyone know how to create an IMDB profile? t.co/FGKUCwAv7… #MarriedAU

A fairy tale wedding reading for a fairytale wedding t.co/aBkGsnb09…

Adam &amp; Jess #marriedbyjosh &amp; @popupwed in a @summergroveestate #privatepopupwedding today! t.co/9BWdxP6cR… t.co/gmMpmy6Yl…

A secret #popupwedding #elopement at @summergroveestate today! #marriedbyjosh t.co/H3WYrdCdJ… t.co/t29KuA3zz…

Yes, I know it’s not the first networked breakfast, but the first in the new age of ‘where the F have all our listeners gone?’

Now that Fairfax have ‘lead the way’ with a networked from Sydney breakfast show, watch Hit105 and others follow suit around the country.

Listening to @NewsTalk4BC at midday in Bris where @StevePriceMedia is discussing Syd drug prices w/ a Syd politician t.co/Ih40iGRS9…

If I had to describe my personal brand social media strategy it would be “To be as unhelpful to @MolksTVTalk as possible”

As I’m the way home Britt tells me I have to check the PO Box because she forgot to. How d… t.co/QujGR8oWj… t.co/9JvLtmtzd…

The overuse of the “Keep Calm and…” meme has gotten to the point where it now means the opposite.

#Jernalizm t.co/yCGycLulu…

137.82

Ollie &amp; Kim #marriedbyjosh t.co/AWWH77RS5… t.co/Z6CiNdpqx…

Just yesterday I was in an Uber and saw their message on the back of some car and felt comforted straight away.

It’s comforting to know that in this big bad world, my local taxi company is really looking out for my safety.

Driving around with @hellobrittanyjane listening to the mixtape CD we have to our wedding … t.co/RlX94MPtE… t.co/nnUDijTJa…

Yesterday’s wedding t.co/GTj0oPTyj…

That 4.92 was a 5 for the longest time.

A PSA: Give your #Uber driver a 5-star rating so that his 4.92 doesn’t haunt him. t.co/sqVcSGChl…

I think I’m going to wait for the Apple Sundial.

Kim &amp; Ollie #marriedbyjosh t.co/v3BwgWmTU… t.co/x9azYLd18…

I use @JotboxMe to email myself notes … t.co/V9gh2zZVx…

Alex &amp; Tamara #marriedbyjosh and photographed by @picturesbykylie t.co/XbkwgdK8N… t.co/vG7xJSpBY…

“Hi Josh, After a crazy lead up to our wedding and equally hectic ‘wind down’ over the pas… t.co/zFQQXjnjZ… t.co/XLxRzaA9i…

A #marriedbyjosh very happy first wedding anniversary to Michael &amp; Jess today!

Photos by … t.co/D0kQvM3eL… t.co/kupxy5o96…

“I’d like to thank the groomsmen for the buck’s night which consisted of book club, prayer, and cooking” - Lindsay in his wedding speech.

Alex &amp; Tamara #marriedbyjosh photographed by @picturesbykylie t.co/UHrmfi83B… t.co/U7AT7uoFA…

Lindsay &amp; Danielle #marriedbyjosh t.co/MKGhjWdyx… t.co/lUWLuJmr8…

Ok, just so everyone knows, we’re all calling 4BC, 4AD now.

#4BC #NewsTalk4BC @NewsTalk4BC

Monday you can fall apart, Tuesday, Wednesday break my heart, Thursday doesn’t even start.… t.co/MPdIxm7ar… t.co/P1zIzYFo6…

Monday you can fall apart, Tuesday, Wednesday break my heart, Thursday doesn’t even start. It’s Friday I’m in love t.co/3Pybsxy5U…

Sad day for many of my old colleagues. Sad day for local news. t.co/vLR3FXHQS…

🍠🌽🌏🐊🙉🙈🙈🐳👨‍❤️‍💋‍👨👄✊🏾👇🏾👊🏻🙏🏿👻👷🏾👱🏽💀👽👩‍👩‍👧‍👦👨‍👩‍👦‍👦👣😻😷😳👣😲😷👧🏿👧🏿😼😶 t.co/5H7xndprP…

Gareth &amp; Sarah #marriedbyjosh t.co/GGGBPR6fV… t.co/aIsdJcVuk…

Always a pleasure to see you, Hidden Vale! t.co/PSJZ2IBfM… t.co/FaUOJOP3m…

135.94

Check out my Apple Watch review. t.co/lAoeKKQpz…

#MarriedAtFirstSight t.co/ON5qIneYn…

Woohoo! I’m marrying Katherine (Katie /KT/ Boog) and Adrian (Ado/ Boog) at Bamarang Bush Retreat! #marriedbyjosh t.co/EWV3tSERG…

Woohoo! I’m marrying Katherine (Katie / KT / Boog) and Adrian (Ado / Boogie) at Bamarang Bush Retreat! #marriedbyjosh t.co/EWV3tSERG…

“Continuous Improvement Man” is the superhero I’m marrying later this year that we can all… t.co/sO1KQuK8Q… t.co/lTdhK2bbR…

“Continuous Improvement Man” is the superhero I’m marrying later this year that we can all aspire to be like. t.co/FplMmmtyM…

Best best man’s speech ever. Even better than my best man, Ash’s, speech. And his was really good.

The best.

t.co/Pj1OSEEWE…

This seems legit guyz t.co/a1JgmGhes…

Woohoo! I’m marrying Caitlin and Tim at O’Reilly’s Canungra Valley Vineyard! #marriedbyjosh t.co/EWV3tSERG…

If I ever begin a rap career, my first song will be about wanting more retweets.

I don’t know how your marriage is going but Stevie the cat expressed a scent from her anal glands onto my face &amp; now my wife won’t kiss me.

So @mypeptree nominated me to share twenty things about me that you probably don’t know. H… t.co/9rUC3oGJD… t.co/Ql8H7WpEH…

Cam &amp; Gabby #marriedbyjosh and photographed by @bayleighvedelago_photographer at the #bris… t.co/evcvMbn1O… t.co/TRsCVZIAk…

You better believe it t.co/1nKvXZumB…

Famous last words RT @RyanJon: I’m looking up porn things for a work story

See, it’s finally happened! t.co/zeQuFPaZG…

Finally! Twitter can retweet with comment!

Awww, poor puddy cat is tired from running around all night keeping her mum and dad up #st… t.co/w37MujMcL… t.co/R6YK2xv4b…

Woohoo! I’m marrying Sam and Josh at Topiaries! #marriedbyjosh t.co/EWV3tSERG…

Important business things with @hellobrittanyjane &amp; @packaperfectparty at #maxbrenner t.co/SyNH7NuxW… t.co/KehaoHlb2…

How you could avoid seeing your wedding dressmaker on 9 News &amp; other wedding business thoughts t.co/z4gEdz7zy… t.co/cxjvtl0fF…

How to avoid seeing your wedding supplier on the news, like “The Bridal Centre” in Brisbane t.co/y19Rzlfiv…

Just running @Instagram on my MacBook Air … LIKE THE NERD I AM! t.co/voQ4h8Axz… t.co/WQb03W6YR…

My Mitsubishi Lancer is unsure about @gruber’s role in #TheTalkShow t.co/RCpiNrzBe…

#Repost @picturesbykylie:
A little sneak peek of today’s gorgeous couple, Tamara &amp; Alex! C… t.co/ejTFJ3y34… t.co/9vMTyYFtZ…

So I’m loving this photo by @laraandsusie and my #bow tie by @peggyandfinn at @oreillysrai… t.co/PAByvxaXP… t.co/x8pREVUrn…

Alex &amp; Tamara #marriedbyjosh t.co/20n8K8OFd… t.co/c6ZKjvOWm…

Oxymoron: Country music talent quest.

Jez &amp; Daisy #marriedbyjosh t.co/aZPm1tNe5… t.co/7tWOl6i7B…

#JustMarried @ Kedron-Wavell Services Club Inc. t.co/1cfprCruZ…

Hello, Instagram on your Mac or PC t.co/LpWrYFbAh…

Bec &amp; Sam #marriedbyjosh at #sorrometwinery #becandsam t.co/OcBelNII5… t.co/G3YEb3TaU…

#Community t.co/AmIbmvxxZ…

Thanks for having me, Mainstage #Easterfest2015 #Easterfest t.co/sG4oi2Weg… t.co/G3VobSHgr…

So … a few thousand of us all took a selfie at the same time #LoveChangesEverything #Eas… t.co/qpz8zaeB8… t.co/dvkZGnTE9…

Sneaky #Easterfest backstage selfie t.co/rlZVW33sa… t.co/yNMmO90Pc…

LIVE on #Periscope: Peter Furler at #Easterfest t.co/UGUBwBYcX…

LIVE on #Periscope: Peter Furler live on the #Easterfest Mainstage - from the back of stage! t.co/H1vUIODki…

I really really really like this new wedding magazine, it’s called Catalyst t.co/RVEaQDNpc… t.co/o8pFwXQ1q…

Girl tackles boy into mud. Awesomesauce. #LoveChangesEverything #Easterfest t.co/8OdgVV2i7… t.co/WrIUPhjqA…

LIVE on #Periscope: @schenky on drums for Tasman Jude at #Easterfest t.co/LHUcC8ghq…

Tonight’s office: #Easterfest. Hash brown #LoveChangesEverything t.co/ap3cE2102… t.co/wm2DQ8NyQ…

LIVE on #Periscope: Backstage at #Easterfest t.co/2lGG6Un0P…

LIVE on #Periscope: Backstage at #Easterfest watching Tasman Jude on Mainstage #LoveChangesEverything t.co/zKog4Qn2o…

#LoveChangesEverything #Easterfest t.co/yfZdxhFLF… t.co/2meKsfSpN…

Wet, wet, wet #Easterfest t.co/GKepWZaSt… t.co/rbrtiEvaO…

108 days until we’re back in NYC! t.co/GgEk24Udh…

#Swag by @laraandsusie t.co/ume8T9n92… t.co/VXTyr1P5d…

OMG new awesome wedding magazine alert! #Catalyst t.co/9VzvKlc7p…

#Repost @popupwed:
|| W I N || entries are live to win your very own Private Pop-Up. Link… t.co/UnHBG9N5a… t.co/OWDVp0h97…

#Repost from @popupwed
|| W I N || we are giving away an elopement like this- that’s right… t.co/hkOnrBwui… t.co/BeZqW3DoU…

A day in the life of a wedding planner, check this video out! t.co/BnZG53MXS…

Up and at ‘em early today t.co/EBanq5RDb… t.co/d30Qv4f0c…

Jason &amp; Justine #marriedbyjosh and photographed by @laraandsusie at #moonlightcrag #oreill… t.co/8jgD3xL7X… t.co/SElPlXxnV…

#Repost from @popupwed: || @byronviewfarm || spent the morning waking around the grounds o… t.co/SSYI73ubu… t.co/RfWv2g2Nx…

So every second guy in Byron Bay looks like Steve Jobs did at some point of his life.

Doing some reconnaissance work today for the @PopUpWed’s October 15 #ByronBay event! t.co/6q23QXqKq… t.co/miOzpX3wt…

“May the schwartz be with you” - Yogurt, Spaceballs

An article about me, written by an SEO ‘expert’ with back links to another celebrant. Smart. t.co/OKOvq2RmT…

My new obsession … #lawncare … Thanks, @jamesdayweddings … t.co/L1U4MBtcT… t.co/woCkSt0Vb…

It’s @laraandsusie in action at Jason &amp; Justine’s wedding! t.co/JCioBxlUp… t.co/7gdYZba4o…

My girl got me new business digs t.co/utvv62qZM… t.co/sqFT65uv9…

Made a Simpsons reference in a funeral this afternoon #youdontmakefriendswithsalad

House fire in Coomera t.co/49dNt0t4k…

I want to see a modernisation of the Jesus story where he gets sick of ppl taking selfies with him because he doesn’t like his selfie face.

Tony Abbott could be PM forever if he just made some cool reference to Netflix and Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt in his next speech.

Sat down tonight to write a joke about an overcrowded cemetery tonight, but there was no plot.

Canungra drive-thru butcher t.co/zlaUxtJmH… t.co/Q8MAwjtpy…

#Jason &amp; Justine #marriedbyjosh at #moonlightcrag t.co/x60IdYfEf… t.co/UNcN4MqRF…

“You may now gross us out with an amazing kiss!”

Jack and Xanthe #marriedbyjosh

t.co/pwUpoJwoa…

How I lost all of my jeweller friends t.co/kkfk5jp8n…

For my Gaelic friends getting married. Not the gay lick friends though, sorry. t.co/Wp9jlpnU1…

Should Dad still be walking you down the aisle? t.co/WZ89xFBtN…

Wedding vows that other people wrote, so you can get some inspiration t.co/sEtZlIHsZ…

A sweet wedding reading for a sweet adventure t.co/2L0g5kGb6…

Did any of my North Queensland friends see myself, @hellobrittanyjane, and the #popupweddi… t.co/047svOOwx… t.co/j99gOuN1A…

Did any of my NQ friends catch myself, @snow_withers, and the @PopUpWed in the @tsv_bulletin #rufflesandcake today? t.co/iF2vLFEI2…

Elopmemt’s are us! t.co/hDtHDpsTL…

Daryl &amp; Meagan #marriedbyjosh #bestselfieever t.co/PdMSg2FaR… t.co/wtDTPpO0e…

Totes sorry about this blog post, John Legend t.co/QcM8AFmja…

In today’s #TownsvilleBulletin you’ll find @rufflesandcakemag #wedding #magazine with @hel… t.co/2hChMIy5j… t.co/IAU4VwYtD…

If Dr Seuss was getting wed, he’d probably read these vows off a bed t.co/KdtAsjjKK…

Try on some weird and wonderful wedding ceremony ideas t.co/xqsdJIb95…

Take me home now Tony Danza t.co/hYRhmXyWj… t.co/pY4UGRqZz…

I feel like the responsibility of sitting in an exit row is like the algebra of flying. We’re never going to use it are we?

A gigantic list of songs you can walk down the ailse to! t.co/IMZlTOFIF…

What do the shortest wedding vows in Australia look like? t.co/COH3tFq1s…

Had a crazy good day with my Sydney celebrant workshoppers! t.co/wVOgjT0Yw… t.co/pXEzEZCbE…

App idea: an app that uses GPS to find somewhere to get breakfast that isn’t McDonalds.

There’s so many ways to communicate love, but tonight, as I prepare for bed in a super coo… t.co/ywm2xcQbm… t.co/XB3XjTzpo…

It was only after walking up and down the street several times did he realise he had a rental car. Not his own. A true story from right now.

Revealing the myth behind the diamond engagement ring t.co/lNniGgDik… t.co/OTOt7iIWJ…

When I first started my celebrant journey seven years ago I didn’t find many other celebra… t.co/fGwlyILZi… t.co/iuoHgiElt…

Diamond rings are bullshit t.co/ObyOTBrut…

Hellooooooo, Sydney

Sydney bound to lead a celebrant training workshop tomorrow in Sans Souci. Anything exciting happening in Sydney tonight?

On Week, a song by a man who killed his wife in a fight then goes crazy and starves himself to death …. omfg t.co/wVzosXrzj…

Because, of course, my opinion on what brings an airplane down matters.

Honestly, as I sit in the Qantas Club this morning shitting myself, I’d rather it be a terrorist attack over an aircraft failure.

Conspiracy theorist says “One Week” is a song about murder t.co/Bx83X3CIK…

I’m convinced t.co/MsXnELNyW…

Guy next to me was talking to himself for the entire train ride home. Worse TED Talk ever.

Woohoo! I’m marrying Lissel and Tom at Lightspace! #marriedbyjosh t.co/EWV3tSERG…

Good morning, Brisbane t.co/uJ1gMCp3X… t.co/izmUyeaCs…

I know I can be what I wanna be … #NowPlaying “I Can” by Nas from God’s Son ♫ I Can t.co/cpUDmmw87…

It’s #Lightspace open night time! t.co/Mh7BjKvpC… t.co/vvSgcyLSK…

Just used Forcetouch at the Apple Store, and it’s awesome, not a creepy Jedi trick.

It’s that time of the year that I have to think long and hard about the last time was impr… t.co/ZaozoBv27… t.co/txNSrKkpS…

Hey @TonyAbbottMHR and @LiberalAus #feelthelove and support marriage equality! We love it!

#popupwedding scouting at #shambamalaika t.co/ZVKF94DlC… t.co/BcfMmYSyD…

Signed into Netflix off VPN and the app just tells me that ‘if I’m travelling’ I might see different shows in different countries.

I’m excited about changing wifi networks on my TV today! #NetflixDay

Australian comedian, @scottdools, has been spotted. On the set of. The new 007 film looks great!

I’m a marriage celebrant and I wrote a thing about why I support #samesexmarriage t.co/egzzS5GSj… #marriageequality

I always dreamt that my name would come up in a Google search for a cairns lawyer t.co/TYXYoib59…

Just finished my first official training session for celebrant’s professional development! I don’t think I have a single drop of energy left

Sposa bagnata, Sposa fortunate. Wet bride, lucky bride. t.co/xjpYsUoYe… t.co/LKzcgVpuH…

Rob &amp; Rach #marriedbyjosh plus the crazily talented Danielle from @whitewhiteweddings who … t.co/pobTqj9DZ… t.co/7h992ssv2…

“The power of love is a curious thing Make a one man weep, make another man sing Change a … t.co/RopKKB6nG… t.co/V46IraU8k…

Gigantic thank you’s to my wedding fair helper, @viverama, today! She made @theweddingarca… t.co/57GnDEvzp… t.co/Z39sYZ5nQ…

My greatest fears were realised today when a shirtless man in West End asked me for a cigarette.

Today’s the day lovers! Come down to West End and create a kick ass wedding at @thewedding… t.co/VO1EvEpyv… t.co/dLGeIP9v3…

Onion rings = vegetable doughnuts

“I like you and I know why. I like you because you are a good person to like. I like you b… t.co/O9lhmJDIv… t.co/zuYlgwGvA…

Martin &amp; Dina #marriedbyjosh t.co/mMmKS0Edi… t.co/7N2aGZKHV…

“Josh was a great fit for our personalities at our wedding - fun, light hearted but with t… t.co/OkSLsQHs2… t.co/9vgw1kzAX…

M1 sadness t.co/ufYvAWTSr…

Miguel &amp; Julie #marriedbyjosh at #cloudland! t.co/7UFpLbGgv… t.co/oVwl6dyjf…

“Gravitation cannot be held responsible for people falling in love. How on earth can you e… t.co/RXZuuBgHM… t.co/cI3SGxgES…

This weekend’s #weddingfair stand has been made possible by the generous and talented Heat… t.co/XhIUckMUw… t.co/N16XEGTH8…

I’d totally become a doctor if the method to find out if u were dead inside was to see if you would sing along to Livin' On A Prayer or not.

Getting married and you like things in West End? Wha!? … Come meet my friends (and me) a… t.co/kFcae52jn… t.co/cGFIUEFQE…

2 days!! @weddingarcade in #Brisbane t.co/VdKeJbwLs… t.co/DDRWdK01W…

Danny &amp; Katherine #marriedbyjosh at #cloudland #brisbanecelebrant #brisbanewedding #briswed t.co/EYp1IulHg… t.co/RdAUt3lSs…

I had breakfast with am someone that has their own charity today, Emmett for Animals, my o… t.co/A2TpLzan1… t.co/7hnDLVAh6…

t.co/396X7r3uj…

YOU GET A BAG OF DICKS, AND YOU GET A BAG OF DICKS, AND YOU GET A BAG OF DICKS t.co/GmBvW4TK9…

A sneak peek from this weekend’s newsletter t.co/396X7r3uj…

I’m catching up with Nathan, @Natty_Nat_Nat and Shaun on @nova937 next week, tune in! :)

Has anyone got an update on Lunchmoney Lewis' bills?

“Why the bad language?" t.co/BwX6he6BQ…

What an awesome surprise in today’s mail, a new #bowtie from @PeggyAndFinn! Love me a #woo… t.co/c2X1lhMf1… t.co/9DPbJ5IId…

I think we can all agree that regardless of his appreciation of Australian heritage, our PM does know a lot about Germany’s heritage.

Tony’s Onion-Eating Sandstorm t.co/ZnwmozUr6…

If I was the last human on earth I would probs not wear clothes.

Do you find communication crazy hard? Well here’s a few tips to make you an awesome married p… t.co/xNtRptI3W… t.co/ToVK7ORgF…

Woohoo! I’m marrying Christina and Christian at Brisbane Powerhouse - Performance Lawn! #marriedbyjosh t.co/EWV3tSERG…

A blog post on communication, because in marriage, love isn’t enough t.co/KvYgCdIox…

“It’s the most awkward thing I’ve heard of in my life” - @BenFordham

Talking divorce with @BenFordham on @2GB873 - LISTEN: t.co/aXS3JPuxf… READ: t.co/DjSSLlPV8…

I’m on @2GB873 with @BenFordham talking divorce ceremonies now.

Chatting to @BenFordham on @2GB873 after 3pm NSW time this afternoon about divorce ceremonies RE: t.co/DjSSLlPV8…

Just made The Today Show without making The Today Show t.co/DjSSLlPV8… t.co/1JRdgyO6y…

A few tips on being an awesome volunteer wedding MC t.co/Q1xyadRAb… t.co/53j1DMUlC…

Wrestling t.co/ipgOURqcL…

Meta Buzz Aldrin t.co/dZAGkogUc…

|LIVE NOW| Lounge room #meerkat t.co/gqIACqbP7…

How to be a great master of ceremonies for your friend’s wedding t.co/X5IIAC9FT…

Why I think divorce ceremonies should exist t.co/JPY6xMioy… t.co/ULP1uOBGc…

My case for divorce ceremonies t.co/OL9QAC4xq…

“Please clone him” #Uber #UberDriver t.co/bx0GnHVkd…

That ring! t.co/WmhUaDInY…

God Bless you Interwebs for always dredging up decades old pop culture and just making it better

Michael Bolton​ playing Michael Bolton in Office Space​ is pure Internet goodness t.co/O0KeCcOfx…

I furkan derya to print that, yo.

#REGRAM from @popupwed! ||We are so excited to announce that we are partnering with Gold C… t.co/f4Q27uQ1F… t.co/NcQZFg42m…

Join Lynette at my next celebrant training workshop! t.co/vYHGnRsrQ…

Don’t be fooled into eating paleo when you really should be living paleo! t.co/Kd1qpsdp8…

Blurry photo at that!

#Uber driver (me) takes photo of “safe” #taxi crash into another car in #SurfersParadise t.co/ldmhXHT0R…

Woohoo! I’m marrying Kylie and Smiddy at Ecostudio Fellini! #marriedbyjosh t.co/EWV3tSERG…

New issue of my free weekly nerdy email is hitting inboxes soon! t.co/eCpCHfduc…

Free business idea: a museum for tastes and smells.

Years from now when “Jet Fighter Ben” is a comedy institution I’ll point to this tweet for its conception in my Uber today #JetFighterBen

Dale &amp; Rhiannah #MarriedByJosh t.co/RPFkSHfe9… t.co/NTQb0fs1j…

Infidelity? #whatsnexttone?

Drugs? #whatsnexttone?

Hookers? #whatsnexttone?

Most of my brain today is just thinking about what Tone could do next t.co/iH7HbEEV6… #whatsnexttone?

One man’s junk … t.co/aSOf365Ue…

1:22hr into a weekly podcast that covers Apple nerdery and finally @gruber &amp; @panzer finally get to #AppleWatch t.co/fy9AwCTKL…

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The third most popular link being shared on social media at the very moment is about our PM … God save the PM t.co/di4qqytTY…

Want to try Uber for free tonight? Australian first time users of the app can get their first $25 free using the promo code: thanksjosh

Just for something different I’ve been driving for Uber here and there … t.co/4YitCNKpM…

Katie &amp; Andrew #marriedbyjosh t.co/jVCb76ZHg… t.co/hPAllDc6B…

Katie &amp; Andrew #MarriedByJosh at #Lightspace with styling by #AVIdeas and this sweet pic i… t.co/YzHr36VHY… t.co/2FQNg99gr…

This Dinosaurs and Notorious BIG is the best thing on the Internet this year t.co/UVLrd8zzH…

Coming out soon: my new book on Paleo Wedding Ceremonies with a great section on clubbing.

“You can’t wait for inspiration. You have to go after it with a club” - Jack London

Please keep my family in your thoughts tonight. My baby is going through a tough time. t.co/kFecVjR6C…

Before Rohann &amp; Carrie enjoyed their day at #future15 seeing Prodigy they wanted to get #m… t.co/EbC9beTv7… t.co/vvlZKzpYM…

Cleartones: Minimalist ringtones t.co/OzLAHMGZ1…

He is, we are, we are Australian. t.co/L8zeQ4Hbh…

I’m looking for someone to help me with one-on-one intensive coaching on a Cert IV TAE - know anyone?

AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHRGHHHGHHHHHAAARRHHGGHAARGHAGHRGHAAAArhhgggggaaaaAARHJGJKKHHHHHHHHHHHHHH t.co/Sglz0OELr…

“Sorry I’m late, my watch is on Vodafone”

Paula + Tim #marriedbyjosh #paperrockscissors photographed by #bluetulipimaging t.co/y5rX0qcTA… t.co/jYCKwrxl1…

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“So, it’s like, the time, but right on your wrist!” - Apple Watch salesperson

What if the rain doesn’t stop, but the precipitation connection is just buffering?

A song for the common man, “Bills” by Lunchmoney Lewis t.co/ZE762pySa…

For everyone else making the same decision I’m trying to make: Macbook Air versus MacBook t.co/8M8jZmLEc…

Chris &amp; Susan #marriedbyjosh t.co/ZtVZTZnWW… t.co/J5gvWmgp6…

Woohoo! I’m marrying Michelle and Adam at Bradley Head Rd Amphitheatre! #marriedbyjosh t.co/EWV3tSERG…

Woohoo! I’m marrying Danika and Michael at Tamborine Gardens - gazebo! #marriedbyjosh t.co/EWV3tSERG…

Confession: when the barber shows me my haircut in a mirror I don’t know what to look for and always say “Yep, looks great!”

Well that doesn’t happen every day. I just performed a fake same-sex marriage ceremony live on air on a talk radio station lol.

Tone, sick of Apple lecturing Australia on $24,000 Apple Watches. t.co/napT7sdjg…

Perth peeps! I’m on @6PR soon talking about getting married as soon as possible.

Meeting so many cool people driving with @uber_qld. My days are filled with weddings, busi… t.co/Y5ESCD0Re… t.co/J2ayEqXph…

That’s weird, the domain name: t.co/VsNX4JPXL… isn’t taken yet /cc @JohnLacey

About to click send on my weekly nerdy business email full of links to cool things - u can get it as well t.co/eCpCHfduc…

Free business idea: individually wrapped Kellogg’s Cornflakes pieces.

The problem with having a problem with the wedding industry t.co/gijb9ptZk… t.co/iUTLc1mS0…

Thinking about starting a blog that asks the big questions like “What the heck are all these people doing at the Post Office, like, wtf?”

Ben &amp; Leah #marriedbyjosh in Sydney! t.co/AS6Kb7ZQJ…

Kendal &amp; Grant #marriedbyjoshhttp://joshs.link/1A3S5jI

Woohoo! I’m marrying Sarah and David at TBC- possibly royal botanic gardens or Elizabeth farm (in parramatta but still same drive time t

Rohann + Carrie #marriedbyjosh at #future15! t.co/iFYeTyppP… t.co/k52DxZIEw…

The problem with having a problem with the wedding industry t.co/NJF1a0xxM…

Happy International Women’s Day, you amazing creatures! t.co/r4v1P2cB5… t.co/j7bRT5ybM…

Shane + Tina #marriedbyjosh on #northburleighbeach t.co/MP4aQJLh7… t.co/Xy2zGuRjB…

One wedding and groom, two groomsmen, one really hungover groomsman, some excited guests t.co/Qdvw7cPOT… t.co/TOOnM0Mzx…

Planning to do something really cool here with @packaperfectparty @heartandcolour and @jan… t.co/TZJCfqwdY… t.co/OKMEr03QF…

Dropped @chloe_carabot at the airport this morning, via #KirraBeach, miss you sis, safe tr… t.co/TwtuGaVDb… t.co/NDLCugT5f…

One year :( t.co/Zzxx8Gp6f…

Must have collectible: air from Kanye West’s concert t.co/GT0eT8cnD…

#NowPlaying “Bills” by Lunchmoney Lewis from Bills t.co/ZE762pySa…

Heads are going to roll! My Uber rating has dropped from a solid 5 to 4.92!!!!!

I’m addicted to Uber t.co/g3KzBIg2j…

Danielle &amp; Matthew #marriedbyjosh at @LightspaceBrisbane #lightspace #stemdesign #whitewh… t.co/79FAywkc1… t.co/H3h41SAay…

If u told me 10yrs ago that my job today would be to talk in front of crowds about putting up with each other’s shit at music festivals …

Rohann &amp; Carrie #marriedbyjosh at #FutureMusicFestival backstage in the artist’s VIP lounge! #Future15 #FutureMusic t.co/7hMDdQcXU…

Workplace hazards: there’s these kids playing music right next to my wedding ceremony today! @… t.co/TUqoAnzBR…

Game day! #futuremusic t.co/VW0pdthTD…

My crazy talented wife is at @floralovely_calligraphy’s calligraphy workshop this morning … t.co/XpX2gucQY… t.co/b7sX7ZfJf…

When competitors are placing Google ads for your name does that mean you’ve made it? Asking for a friend. t.co/CdQ8SO0Xp…

Three years ago #NeverForgetKony2012 t.co/8G7IVIaWK…

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Looking forward to the @weddingarcade!! t.co/LJ8pjCT2V… t.co/42OzLU6a5…

Our lives are all date nights, phone calls, and emails these days, sometimes all at once t.co/zB8rAH1w5… t.co/sODYyY8ws…

Ditching a taxi for Uber for the first time this weekend for a wedding or for #FutureMusic… t.co/swYOkNt1G… t.co/e4fWjM4oU…

In 2016 getting a wristie will mean something else t.co/gkg6DAuQV…

Tomorrow: Rohann and Carrie’s #FutureMusicFestival #wedding! t.co/BzDObcxnY… t.co/Xhv5WzSip…

I’m on @nova1069 talking about what I’m doing at @FMFestivalAust tomorrow #FutureMusic

Nixie, a wearable camera that can fly &amp; has a boomerang selfie mode! t.co/bw8iKNNzo…

¯_(ツ)_/¯

Hans Solo: makes the Kessel Run in less than twelve parsecs, mistakes golf course for runway.

Woohoo! I’m marrying Rebecca and Jeremy at Broadway Chapel! #marriedbyjosh t.co/EWV3tSERG…

Researching … t.co/WUqa8x5Ry… #scrubs

Woohoo! I’m marrying Lauren and Bryce at Chateau Élan! #marriedbyjosh t.co/EWV3tSERG…

Dear, everyone that I’m meeting with today. Due to high temperatures we’re all showing kne… t.co/BJO3gjmRm… t.co/CTVFCUZRY…

I just chatted to Jesse Wagstaff from the Perth Wildcats with 96fm Breakfast in Perth and gav… t.co/XcLuZZQJe… t.co/PXN5qWh7j…

Any tips on the best data only, SIM only, 3G/4G prepaid or postpaid deal in Australia?

On @96fmbreakfast, @96fmCarmen @96Blackers @fitzi96 asked me for some wedding tips for @jesswaggers @perthwildcats t.co/tAnzkGHjg…

Five things for the groom to prepare before the wedding t.co/aMNtTUQcx…

Was just on @96fmBreakfast in my office that I share w/ @snow_withers &amp; her father. Despite being 2m away, neither noticed I was on radio.

About to chat to @96fmCarmen @96fmBreakfast and Jesse Wagstaff!

Airpnp is Airbnb for pee. This is the best. t.co/7BuYbcznV…

A pop-up wedding is an awesome elopement not a shit wedding … interested? Read on for more t.co/2Xw4aRiQG… t.co/EXQp5C5Sw…

Hey @Telstra, why not save $3-5 and just send me an email every time I get an extra data pack for the month? t.co/6Q09cY1dr…

I’m on air with Blackers, Carmen &amp; Fitzi plus Perth Wildcat, Jesse Wagstaff, on 96fm Perth… t.co/05MFBZLO3… t.co/IWtu6DsR9…

I’m on air with Blackers, Carmen &amp; Fitzi plus Perth Wildcat, Jesse Wagstaff, on 96fm Perth tomorrow morning! t.co/hcaakrH0G…

Left unattended I’d just work on the business 24/7. I love driving, talking and listening … t.co/rlJDNyrAr… t.co/DH4f9WJZ3…

A short blog post to answer the most common question I get: What’s a pop-up wedding t.co/XRHuSIyu7…

Caitlin is my new hero, and I hope you can join her! t.co/vuxoluZz3… t.co/XwQzBSi44…

I want a Woolet t.co/LvlZgqei9…

Draw me like one of your French Girls t.co/0Pk9owENv… t.co/QVkuDhuxe…

10 Ways Weddings Are Completely Different Now t.co/zHAnFdCju…

Brianna &amp; Russell #marriedbyjosh t.co/uVLOAR5YI…

This will be the last time anyone smuggles drugs into Bali, right?

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I’m running an Awesome #Celebrant all-day workshop in Sydney on Friday the 27th of March a… t.co/joda7WzZV… t.co/5e3EEouYv…

What’s all this about Netflix coming to Australia you say? t.co/rrn66n83M… t.co/CriY1SINs…

Paula &amp; Tim #marriedbyjosh t.co/FoCALOzhA…

Woohoo! I’m marrying Brooke and Charlie at Midginbil Hill! #marriedbyjosh t.co/EWV3tSERG…

Woohoo! I’m marrying Julie and Reginald at Home! #marriedbyjosh t.co/EWV3tSERG…

Why Caitlin is consearned [sic] and why you should be too t.co/g2PBA3mPq…

Britany &amp; Tim #marriedbyjosh t.co/ZtORmlZih…

Thanks, jacieleew!!! t.co/h7O2faUja… t.co/Usx0EEBqD…

The BottleLoft, a beer gadget t.co/6vFcStslf…

Plugged laptop back into my home network for the 1st time in weeks and I said “there’s no place like 127.0.0.1” … paused, slapped myself

Good morning from where you’d rather be :) t.co/SqatAHKFv… t.co/imIctI9D3…

I’ve never met my neighbour, but we communicate through puns in our WIFI network names #Th… t.co/dhhVgoFaL… t.co/xIQcaQSE3…

The past month has taken hellobrittanyjane and I all around the country all because some p… t.co/8lG9z0hIX… t.co/3wjSiugzg…

Woohoo! I’m marrying Lauren and Lachlan at Whepstead Manor! #marriedbyjosh t.co/EWV3tSERG…

It’s been great seeing you, non-Queensland, but I’m crazy glad to be homeward bound!

Woohoo! I’m marrying Kellie and Joel at private farm! #marriedbyjosh t.co/EWV3tSERG…

The saddest looking @Qantas jet is the Qantas Freight 767 with no windows. What is all the freight supposed to do mid-flight?

Doing my part t.co/gNBXgPtYj…

QLD Transport in the pocket of the Taxi Council?

Qld Transport CSO told Britt that she’s not allowed to apply for a Driver’s Authority if its for @Uber_QLD, to apply for a taxi job instead.

From 1986: Stephen King’s “Everything You Need to Know About Writing Successfully – in Ten Minutes” t.co/1u971zy1A…

How to make a dumpling in three seconds t.co/ZLhkqkIP3…

Awesome day out at #loveonthelawn! Thanks for having me guys! #Regram from sydneyclassicbo… t.co/I5LeOu46K… t.co/DGhZlugLw…

A cup of heaven from thatvintagecaravan on a 37 degree day for loveonthelawn1 t.co/fJnbC5obt… t.co/yISnQWY4v…

If you missed my awesome wedding vow workshop at loveonthelawn1 then send a blank email to… t.co/qgHC2zS8d… t.co/4o3rDSgIF…

If you missed my wedding vow workshop at @LoveOnTheLawn1 then send a blank email to vows@marriedbyjosh.com for an auto reply with my notes!

“I want to meet a guy named Art. I’d take him to a museum, hang him on the wall, criticize him, and leave” - Jarod Kintz

It’s #loveonthelawn time! #sydneyweddingfestival t.co/GHI6ImqNI… t.co/A9pNKd5Qu…

We’re all secretly idiots inside.

It might be hours before I have to wake up but I’ve just set up the most awesome nerd thing for tomorrow’s wedding fair!

Woohoo! I’m marrying Kaycee and Benjamin at Up On Constance! #marriedbyjosh t.co/EWV3tSERG…

I’ve got a free workshop on how to write the world’s best wedding vows 2morrow @LoveOnTheLawn1 t.co/9On3GDrlS… t.co/NslADISnU…

I’ve got a free workshop on how to write the world’s best wedding vows 2morrow @LoveOnTheLawn1 t.co/9On3GDrlS… t.co/KpBX4wuvN…

Hello Sydney!

You’ve been awesome, Melbourne, thanks for having us! Sydney-bound for loveonthelawn1 now!… t.co/w4F3f7tDP… t.co/uFABF6gg4…

Saturday night flying is the best! The flight’s pretty much empty … bye Melbourne, see you soon for @LoveOnTheLawn1, Sydney!

Woohoo! I’m marrying Emma and Troy at “The Plaza”- The Powerhouse, Brisbane! #marriedbyjosh t.co/EWV3tSERG…

#Repost popupwed:
We need your attention for a second. Book an Australian Pop-Up Wedding … t.co/H2FR5jTtT… t.co/4AoE5FLyi…

Having one fine evening at onefinedayweddingfairs #melbourne #onefinedaymelbourne #onefine… t.co/cWEgKFYkF… t.co/c6LTTXGvH…

If you’re planning for an awesome marriage, there is zero doubt that you will have an awesome… t.co/vwz2Qd7ZA… t.co/8BzlB67PN…

This is creepy and awesome! Peek gives you a free vid of someone else using your website, here’s someone using my web t.co/guwpv5hoz…

Are you planning for a marriage, or a wedding? t.co/u15eKwnCC…

I’ve been published on the WeddingLovely Blog! t.co/sjMzADznV… via @weddinglovely

Have we reached peak llama dress yet?

What spelling is this color?

“I was a human rights commissioner under 5 AGs … George Brandis is the only one to question my integrity” t.co/cTciG4PYL…

American blog, @WeddingLovely, asked me about wedding trends. Sorry to my colleagues! t.co/J85VVWBXQ… t.co/pDc8GJOvN…

Not sure if I’m in Melbourne or an episode of Australia’s Got Talent.

We have a brand spanking new Hawaii Pop-Up date! Hint: December 2015! Find out more detai… t.co/fGpzsqEQI… t.co/ZZnQjI7x3…

Woohoo! I’m marrying Jodie and Kevin at Lightspace! #marriedbyjosh t.co/EWV3tSERG…

My only disappointment with the Great Ocean Road is that there is not a restaurant called “Lorne Bowls”

Roadtripping back down the Great Ocean Road today. Warrnambool to Melbourne, the long way. t.co/jVJlpQAyR… t.co/zqesk8bBZ…

I don’t want to boast, but I have the same number of Oscars as Leonardo DiCaprio #justsayin

Britt: look at that cow pooing. Josh: that’s bullshit baby. drops mic

I might have missed the Foo Fighters, but instead I’m seeing the world with this chick and… t.co/BrCteDJCy… t.co/WKMd2eZF8…

Amazing, generous, powerful things happening over at mattkatieinstaauction’s Instagram auc… t.co/0mNsGdsAl… t.co/N1qdS05T1…

This Sunday I’m running a free vow writing workshop at loveonthelawn1 in Sydney, a pretty … t.co/uoflYaWU2… t.co/5ODILtI9u…

The sun sets behind Apollo Bay t.co/uCdyMpHNT… t.co/XrjE5r4GC…

Through all of life’s rough waters this girl helps steer me through. Love you more than li… t.co/748KLirKy… t.co/lxqtx3zak…

I plan to spend most of my time here today, for my annual day off where I’ll probably only… t.co/xykefpvb0… t.co/WECdLzJjm…

Take a scroll through mattkatieinstaauction right now to 1) bid on some sweet prints, 2) p… t.co/QD9NWvzZB… t.co/4moF6c5og…

First world holiday problem: can’t sleep because the majestically beautiful crashing waves outside our beachside cottage are too loud.

Put away politics and bullshit for just a moment and check out the Instagram auction on @mattkatieinstaauction now t.co/450BS91sG…

Over at mattkatieinstaauction right now there are three amazing newsworthy things happenin… t.co/eJ4GBn2MV… t.co/ie6CRzzOT…

Where hellobrittanyjane and I are staying tonight. Totally showing off. t.co/JDHqs0WX6… t.co/xbin4WGNz…

Telling your customers how to behave? There’s probs an app for that too … t.co/0F8s7EMae…

Have you ever, ever felt like this, When strange things happen, Are you going round the tw… t.co/4752vyTPW… t.co/cbCnvRayr…

Britt and I were just drinking a beer and #FabianMicali walks over and hands me this. Wow! t.co/2JSOqcaGd… t.co/jHrJ4pFuw…

hellobrittanyjane :) t.co/mflrlrxDt… t.co/vQfvIHGX3…

Melbourne is that small collection of concrete things over there on the other side t.co/0vOYbHI03… t.co/vUzX7zTGm…

Our #Airbnb host’s cat is Batman, we think #catsofinstagram t.co/HGm2L1Wss… t.co/184LsqtHI…

Woohoo! I’m marrying Justine and Jason at O’Reilly’s Rainforest Retreat! #marriedbyjosh t.co/EWV3tSERG…

QLD Flood warning issued at 4:23am EST | Issued: Sunday at 4:23am ESTDescription: Flood warningSummary: Final Floo… t.co/TsgHcMNPb…

Victoria-bound for the week!

GC mayor on the cyclone. Value added selfishness. t.co/XdmIDPAqV…

Television was invented to sell TV sets, as was radio, but this is not the case with the Internet and that’s amazing t.co/e0ykZkgEA…

Blonde girl at Gold Coast airport wearing track pants and a black with diamontes Penthouse cap refuses to be stereotyped.

Good to know that my civil liberties are consistently eroding t.co/KdMJIEAvW…

Seriously though, I hope to god that photos of me 7 years ago never surface.

If you think slaughtering innocent animals is disgusting, then put down that cheeseburger!

I’m marrying Caitlin’s mum (to her fiancé!) and when Caitlin found out about young girls i… t.co/gIrortSnj… t.co/GkJhYKH9k…

Get a free weekly email with five awesome and different wedding blog links t.co/z00aWe1Ti… t.co/QZdTVMGR0…

Woohoo! I’m marrying Joshua and Joshua at Home! #marriedbyjosh t.co/EWV3tSERG…

Woohoo! I’m marrying Joshua and Joshua at Lightspace! #marriedbyjosh t.co/EWV3tSERG…

Glen McGrath #NeverForget

You might be having a down day, so here’s cartoon Tony Abbott​ singing Shake It Off​ by Taylor Swift​. t.co/kArsygYgN…

One week. t.co/rfbkiE1Eg…

Beam: The smart projector that fits in any light socket . WHAT?!! t.co/uKlV23Rbj…

Woohoo! I’m marrying JULIE and ALLAN at PACIFIC DAWN SHIP! #marriedbyjosh t.co/EWV3tSERG…

Guilty: “The amateur has a long list of fears. Near the top are two: Solitude and silence.” t.co/hp44Zl8Ex…

Broaden your wedding horizons with one simpe click t.co/nGKSOYIb4…

All the questions you wanted to ask a wedding planner … but didn’t! t.co/xCftdBo20… t.co/ICjvDOKqB…

If you like nerdy tool things, subscribe for free here: t.co/V39SSgtNo…

I’ve just loaded up a bunch of nerdy business tool goodness into this week’s #Revue email links t.co/V39SSgtNo…

Where can I get film for my iPhone 5S on a Saturday in Brisbane?

I asked the question “How can a wedding planner help?” because I wondered if they could t.co/qHly5BBE5…

On my tombstone I’d like it to say" He wasn’t that funny, but he gave it a good try"

Well I know this sure helped me. Share it around, for the confused men of the world xx t.co/ecaFjFvuN…

Nothing like a cyclone in Queensland to get the rest of Australia riled up and Queenslanders all going “meh”

ANIMATED GIFS HIT QLD NEWS! Seriously though, cool ABC RT @abcnews_qld: #TCMarcia continues its path down Queensland t.co/pG0b83655…

The hero of the day is the legend trying to go surfing in Yeppoon, called out by @karlstefanovic onair then pulled in by @QPSmedia #tcmarcia

#TCMarcia is very close to Yeppoon, in-fact I’m informed now it’s right on top of ya fork.

My callout to other celebrants: put down your scripts! t.co/fu8HazfTW… t.co/7IidFbFcC…

Here’s the deal, each week (well, I’ll try) I’ll send you up to 5 links about awesome, meaningful weddings, subscribe t.co/kaJJhx5HD…

I’m leading the “no script” wedding ceremony revolution t.co/4JrJPtZGQ…

One of the great oddities of @Twitter is what @magicpixx will reply to your tweets with … this last one was weird t.co/DxMmrGJNy…

Photoshop turns 25 today, though you wouldn’t know it by it’s photoshoot for Graphic Design Weekly, it barely looks 16.

OMG! RT @0i76xl798k17li: |Prize|Patrol has chosen you as today’s Australia winner @JoshuaWithers Claim at this page @A_U_SClaim

Refreshbox asked me to curate five links into a weekly free email. Subscribe to my wedding inspiration links here: t.co/yjSMoStDs…

Abbott government to scrap the national Census in favour of just looking at the insights for everyone that checks into Australia on Facebook

I share links to apps, tools, articles, for small businesses in a weekly Revue email. Subscribe for free here: t.co/ls4NJpFvu…

Erryday RT @_radiotoday: Fairfax Radio revenues slip t.co/4BFiZeanx…

StandWith: an app that helps patients deliver updates to their support network and also request helpful tasks t.co/nQ6pDL1Tm…

Khy and Ben #marriedbyjosh photographed by @loveisaplaceph at #MidginbillHill in the Tweed Valley #wedding #celebrant t.co/LFBaVgQA9…

Stevie Withers #catsofinstagram t.co/929gUx31j… t.co/ufL4265nA…

Just booked another two weeks in NYC this July/August. Heck yes!

Did you know that if you’re a first time user on Uber you can use the promo code ‘marriedbyjosh’ to get your first two trips free? Legit!

Yo, @Grammarly, .xyz is a legit domain name t.co/35LlIxexA…

Minister employed to say nice things about racing, says nice things about racing t.co/h12jKsM0l…

A quick, sweet, couples test : how Well Do You Know Me? t.co/Eu4gVQpO2…

Is it too soon to start writing to Santa about a self-driving Apple car?

“It’s a special kind of love (that I have for Phillip Ruddock)” - @JoeHockey

Millions of Facebook users have no idea they’re using the internet t.co/ThCigHkA7…

I’m predicting that in the next five years there will be a cat videos segment at the Oscars.

Cradle Mountain, as you’ve probably never seen it, by @paulmp t.co/sEjWVAb4a…

Dear Twittersaurus: a word for party that starts with m

Stevie’s really into Better Call Saul t.co/zlN1LzrES… t.co/KVKGf0ak5…

Love seeing my couples in print - @josierichardsonphoto’s photo at her stand at the @vinta… t.co/fYrPPvwJR… t.co/v5vhghmCV…

Rocking the @VintageBrideMag #weddingfair at @HillstoneStL today t.co/dkDNgjbiA… t.co/GO7FhgWlb…

Mother of a bride just now: Wow! I can’t believe there’s a male celebrant. Me: I know! How weird is it for a celebrant to have a penis!

These two boys are going to be a lot skinnier soon t.co/5tGzi9bkQ… t.co/O8Bi0wDNH…

Stevie rejected Aggie on Valentine’s Day t.co/NSGpEoKIh…

But she’s convinced that you watch ‘Better Call Stan’ on Netflix … so not all advertising works.

Advertising works! Britt keeps on calling #BetterCallSaul ‘Just Call Stan’ … @stancomau @MolksTVTalk

Branded creates a personal “business card” style website from your LinkedIn profile t.co/ler2gDxkV…

36 Questions to Fall in Love on the App Store on iTunes t.co/0Xij0mYZZ…

One of my artistic friends needs to do an Australian version of this t.co/0qr1Dx0kB…

I’m producing a regular email newsletter on businessy tool things - you can get it for free at t.co/V39SSgtNo…

To Fall in Love With Anyone, Do This t.co/IqPy89nCR…

Disappointed the @CourierMail didn’t go with “50 Palaszczuk’s of Grey” today.

Continually impressed by the creativity and awesomeness that Jess creates at @moltenstore … t.co/bU5P19fgz… t.co/Jejwhdt0i…

Happy first wedding anniversary to Jedd + Kate today! t.co/7Ux2aQz8v…

Why today is a perfectly cromulent day to get married t.co/DnT55j93p…

Animated GIFs maketh man

Top productivity apps for your iPhone from the Australian App Store t.co/sjgwfg1xV… t.co/3bDsxamHN…

Campbell, is that you? t.co/1mRiPHI0C…

Personally addressed junk mail about getting out of debt to a person who’s not in debt t.co/wFmojHioe…

“What are you doing dad?” t.co/NgJDM321S… t.co/fl4VahAOK…

Why pop-up? t.co/QyKukMfGK…

Why would I Pop-Up? t.co/W2djrmocx…

Am I using it right?

Just downed a holocaust of coffee.

Woohoo! I’m marrying Katherine and Micheal at Gabbinbar Homestead! #marriedbyjosh t.co/EWV3tSERG…

15 Ways to Personalize Your Wedding by Letting Go of Traditions t.co/QPJf0AyFk… #weddinghour

I’m a bit worried about the few of my friends that haven’t weighed in on Kanye West this week. Hope you guys are ok.

I guest blogged on WeddingLovely today: 15 Ways to Personalize Your Wedding by Letting Go of Traditions t.co/QPJf0AyFk…

“Do something. If it works, do more of it. If it doesn’t, do something else.” Franklin D. Roosevelt

Alabama now recognises same-sex marriage, Alabama is more forward on something than Australia is, how freaking weird t.co/lNtaFRix9…

Britt’s playing with the new Polaroid Socialmatic camera and just told me to tell everyone… t.co/IQyqSwuX5… t.co/QSZ9jDaZU…

Is there any ethical problems about offering free cat photos in return for contracting your services? Do the cats need a per diem?

Tim + Brit #marriedbyjosh photographed by @benandhopephotography and styled by @beautifulw… t.co/xHXjej2ow… t.co/oe20Vig1U…

What is it they say about never working a day of your life?

Tim &amp; Brit #marriedbyjosh on #Kingscliffe beach t.co/ddOoyfMnu…

I dids a wedding podcast thingy with @SaveTheDatePC and @leishamccormack on all things weddingy t.co/EqncZ7l8Q…

I’ve been dying to setup the podcasting “studio” in the new house, two months in, I’m read… t.co/vus0wSEr2… t.co/0r2Jp09Eq…

Now you Sia, now you don’t #hideandsiak t.co/VBdgQhMmm…

I’m a guest today on the #1 podcast for all things weddingy! t.co/HLAbhRGsW… t.co/m8xj6a2lM…

Breaking News: Tony Abbott knights himself #libspill #auspol

Britt has just launched the @popupwed in Geelong and I’m really excited to be the celebran… t.co/zZypxDL1i… t.co/aItDHqPwF…

Hear me on “Save The Date” wedding podcast - it’s pretty freakin cool! t.co/Vy0BBy1UO…

You know times are a tough for a PM when he has a lower approval rating than a guy that held people hostage in a cafe in Martin Place.

In the media world this is called linkbait: The problem with photographers is … t.co/TwolZfQ5r… t.co/7I0PDYads…

The problem with photographers is … t.co/7uiVJpjD5…

“The Prime Minister is a very busy man” … just in case anyone needed a line for tomorrow’s front page #sydneyseige

Woohoo! I’m marrying zoe and matthew at coogee plaza! #marriedbyjosh t.co/EWV3tSERG…

Woohoo! I’m marrying Danielle and Matthew at Driftwood! #marriedbyjosh t.co/EWV3tSERG…

Drops mic t.co/D0BaLmD8k…

Love this podcast: the #Polaroid story told to @oshergunsberg by Stephen Herchen t.co/I2uAsUmpg…

Stunning view at SouthWest Rocks this morning #gottazip t.co/Lc1NzFwMa… t.co/396ot4WMa…

I love the visual idea of a leadership spill. Like the leadership is a schooner of beer and the party is trying to carry it without spilling

I don’t want to alarm anyone, but it seems the Far Kew Corner Store at Kew has shutdown. Quite disappoint.

63rd time @hellobrittanyjane has played Drunk In Love on this road trip t.co/AkHS1NMug… t.co/YvUZcSfDb…

“Maybe dying alone isn’t all that bad, like you don’t hear many complaints”

I met Danielle today and she told me she liked me because I came with a disclaimer! t.co/8eLE6xoRK…

Makes me think about Seth Godin’s recent blog post on geography being dead t.co/U8B5TjxjS…

And although I live on the Gold Coast, I have like one wedding near home.

So this year is shaping up to be blow-your-mind-crazy. Bali twice, Hawaii once, Sydney like twenty times, Perth twice, Melbourne three times

I consistently find @oshergunsberg’s podcast really encouraging, hat tip to @DanMacPherson. My kind of ppl. t.co/ojNiHlykF…

The view from today’s office is pretty darn awesome #sydneywedding t.co/yRxDwLgnT… t.co/l9HsZfypP…

You haven’t driven in Sydney traffic until unless you need a hug when you get out of the car.

Waa-hay!

I’ve had such a good week in NSW with this chick t.co/fLJYVuZrL… t.co/H8kYKvEpl…

I’m not a racist but I like tweeting confusing Tweets.

I read this book at Nicole and Lee’s wedding and it rocked! Photo by Jess Marks. t.co/C6jABT309… t.co/dUa7WTefU…

This is a pretty awesome wedding “reading” aka children’s book t.co/nJAnUQwb2…

I’ve spent this week watching planes land into @SydneyAirport … I’m such a nerd t.co/OXnhHFiex…

Punt lyf @ Mortlake Ferry t.co/NMWBBzp92…

Waa-hay!

Caught up with the crew from our favourite wedding magazine, @whitemagazine! t.co/aW3AJbxeK… t.co/HaPZjNlQf…

Thank you for your kind words Courtney and Shane! t.co/YI2IRzLTf… t.co/6ePYIODrw…

“No one else will have the same wedding as us” t.co/lw80931Dx…

Magnificent moonrise over the Parramatta River tonight - 18 sec iPhone shutter speed, no f… t.co/39Hkjskvb… t.co/HCQwH1HN0…

Galavanting around #Sydney with @hellobrittanyjane scouting @popupwed #wedding locations #… t.co/bni3eMPP1… t.co/jLeeYZb8h…

A quick guide on getting hitched in Bali, and why you should/could take a celebrant t.co/5Kz47Lfll… t.co/dzmCiWBIA…

Took delivery of my own #UBERkitten in Sydney today t.co/2afke2Nf6… t.co/j9JCWrWfw…

How to get legally married in Bali t.co/8iEmlKDTR…

A gallery of rock legends – Clapton, Zappa, Elton John, &amp; more – and their totally square, totally sweet parents. t.co/w72miGSYF…

Three spots left in my Sydney celebrant workshop! t.co/EWoGNHTBv…

Eating activated almonds #DoingAnAbbott

Ate two brownies instead of just one #doinganAbbott

But who’s going to control the Turnbull puppet? #libspill

For people with a little pianist t.co/LSymBZLwA… t.co/ZXbr3bD5a…

“The Church of the Bang Bang Boogaloo” comes to Melbourne t.co/qugBTsVU2…

Massive thanks to @jamesdayweddings, @scottsurplicephotography, and @mrglenedwards for wel… t.co/D6hXVQrzz… t.co/ZpdheZH7V…

It’s @hellobrittanyjane through a Cine-Kodak model 90 t.co/tMDLf02I8… t.co/f5T8fF6PH…

“What even is a pop-up wedding?” is a question I answered for White Magazine t.co/sDxOC1UsK…

Apart from actually being a #celebrant, one of my favourite things is seeing wedding photo… t.co/AKKCodALI… t.co/puMpJOmSU…

Which is kind of creepy now I think about it.

I don’t work. I just make people give each other jewellery and kiss.

Someone just referred to me not being available on the weekends because I’m working.

Just looking back over these pics from our first Perth Pop-Up Wedding, such a great venue! t.co/CRByJuU1z… t.co/dQl2JO2RG…

Faith In Humanity Restored! t.co/jdHYqjljF…

I’ve taken over James Day Photography’s studio in Sans Souci, Sydney for the day! t.co/CwzuMmyvx…

Today’s office #YourPlaceOrMine #Sydney t.co/tUOacxzgU… t.co/qHPh2Eprz…

Marrying and burying, a changing profession - the current state of the industry t.co/UaMrPz9TZ…

Bride broke a rib, but won $5 t.co/wAY4Y7GXv… t.co/9ji7jEnG9…

Why you should, or shouldn’t, lie about your wedding being a wedding t.co/hJGRlUZX5… t.co/IujDCr0Yh…

“When asking for a quote for your wedding, don’t tell them it’s a wedding” - things people say. t.co/QRWX2NnYB…

I’d love to be your Whitsunday wedding celebrant :) t.co/CRMTuTvMB… t.co/YcwqOhOyM…

How to literally buy happiness t.co/qZKOd1OSm…

When you walk down the aisle, do you want to be instant-hugged or Instagrammed? t.co/Z120pLE1l… t.co/Z50PTgI7d…

In December this year, send my mail care of Airlie Beach! t.co/Mvqp4VZ5x…

Questions to ask when you think about having an unplugged wedding t.co/GzaUSaVLl…

Spent the afternoon destroying @jamesdayweddings' new lawn with @hellobrittanyjane. Good t… t.co/1FIs0rO1u… t.co/wT63HuNs4…

Must-read on artifical intelligence t.co/TpCCPTACn…

A university class on cool. The biggest surprise is that my friend Ash isn’t teaching it. t.co/DnvEyCFGG…

I’ve just swiped off at Woonoona Station, an almost 3 hour journey, it costs $2.50 on a Sunday! What!? t.co/XtwSrj11H…

Goin' on a train ride t.co/dMBmoOHOR…

These 30 Americans get paid to like things on Facebook so that your news feed is more personalised t.co/gzwjOMK6k…

Waa-hay!

What It’s like to Fly the $23,000 Singapore Airlines Suites Class t.co/l7yrZUFEz…

I got pulled over by a policewoman…

When I put down my window to ask what was wrong, she said “NOTHING!”

For all the single ladies t.co/4kI5rEAnl…

I kind of really want to spend one month of my life experiencing this t.co/I52WSGFwi…

Honestly, it’s kind of fun getting a new govt every few months. It’s like a mobile phone contract, you don’t want the same mobile again!

I’m sitting on a balcony in Cabarita and I can hear screams of joy cry out across Hen and Chicken Bay through the final moments of #AUSvKOR

Waa-hay!

This app turns barcodes on anything into checkin points … it’s like a social network of things t.co/GhI5kJ533…

My evening in Sydney just opened up - anything exciting happening in town?

It’s 2015 right?

I can rent a hotel room online with a CC but @HotelRealm won’t take a CC over the phone for a deposit when Britt’s forgotten her CC?

Rather lazy and certainly overweight, he remarkedly paid his bills by simply talking #myozobituary

Move over Hills Hoist and Tim Tams, there’s a new hero in town t.co/4ehtqtJ51… t.co/mt3znnmrb…

Fellow Queenslanders, please vote for Pedro today. If you can’t vote for Pedro, then vote for stupid. #qldpol t.co/z63bsNecU…

Sydney Ferries are just awesome t.co/KDR8MZFAs… t.co/T6DPHCx4N…

“Did you hear about that cat that came back to life after five days” an old man in Taree just told me #breakingnews

Text messages tonight t.co/STyiPHryU…

Hi Coffs Harbour

Join Victoria at my next celebrant training workshop! t.co/vYHGnSjfe…

Jodie and Pete #marriedbyjosh t.co/lHABn37Y8…

The future - via Reddit t.co/a4enU3raU…

Your intricate detailed critical wedding plans, they seem … lovely … don’t they t.co/Jq2cwV94l… t.co/iYBqJ2mN8…

The best laid wedding plans … what could possibly happen to them? t.co/icdQpEqXp…

Art, yo

#marriedbyjosh t.co/3P4m2ZHep… t.co/CIoFMCvmk…

It’s dancing time at the @lightspacebrisbane! #wedding open night! t.co/TIfYQaKs2… t.co/j4mOamOGb…

I said “Quick! Let’s take a selfie with weird faces!” t.co/brbki0LnY… t.co/Hn08YjlXJ…

Join Simone at my next celebrant training workshop! t.co/vYHGnSjfe…

I’m a sucker for free stuff: win this sweet new Android phone in the #FlagshipAssassin giveaway t.co/IpwfqZeEg… via @thenextweb

I’m a sucker for free stuff: win the #iWantiMac Giveaway. Feeling adventurous? Enter… t.co/sexa6bvUp… via @thenextweb

I’m a sucker for free stuff: win a 3D movie projector from the #Free3DHD Giveaway t.co/iKVVxAT4S… via @thenextweb

Join Nicky at my next celebrant training workshop! t.co/vYHGnSjfe…

The face of immunisation desperation t.co/fVu9FlVk6… t.co/aNucf8jmu…

I’ve been having some fun with long exposure on the iPhone 5S and the G light rail t.co/3FLYeUHj5…

Thanks @qt_hotels for some R&amp;R with my favourite human plus some really good planning time… t.co/6wtkHpe95… t.co/am6rfR77j…

I think it’s lovely that the @couriermail has put news reporting aside for a few days to transform into an LNP how-to-vote card #qldpol

Where I learnt to drive as a teen t.co/yMAWoc7ae… t.co/pc59dD60g…

Ridin' the G #goldcoast #lightrail #tram t.co/QJBc4LYrk… t.co/2gUjOrCCB…

Google’s new streaming service is a death sentence for crowd funding of new albums from indie bands/labels t.co/9U26WwH2P…

Join Anita at my next celebrant training workshop! t.co/vYHGnSjfe…

We’re finally at the end of the #Hottest100 where I recognise 1 in 3 songs

It’s my favourite human’s birthday today! t.co/HRcngObcu… t.co/nwy4mXViF…

If the worst thing in your life today has something to do with Triple J or Taylor Swift then life’s pretty awesome right?

Australia is/was/could-be a world leader in the celebration of marriage. It’s actually really… t.co/bZjfSXz6b… t.co/i0YJKqTWP…

If a brand can’t back a song in the #Hottest100, does that mean if I write a post about liking a hipster song it gets excluded as well?

So @triplej can’t establish a connection to @taylorswift13 - Do they play all of their music off @Spotify #hottest100 t.co/itjnjq4FX…

Did you know that Australia is/was a world leader in the celebration of marriage? #AustraliaDay t.co/iyYu9A0Kh…

Joseph &amp; Maggie dropped in to BNE on the way from Hong Kong to #HamiltonIsland to be #marriedbyjosh on #AustraliaDay! t.co/FB2vlX4YN…

I need two witnesses to an elopement in Fortitude Valley right now, can you spare me a signature and 5 minutes?

A very deserving OAM recipient in 2MC’s Mark ‘Strawny’ Strachan today t.co/BY0rM9T0k…

I was just saying to someone the other day that Prince Phillip wasn’t recognised for his efforts enough, that boy needs a Knighthood.

Waa-hay!

Join Kendra at my next celebrant training workshop! t.co/vYHGnSjfe…

Really looking forward to Oz-Taylor! Day tomorrow #Tay4Hottest100

Jack &amp; Xanthe #marriedbyjosh #newsteadpark t.co/r7pTU51Z8… t.co/oZuhtpAon…

All hail our headphone saviour, Spoolee t.co/rcwQwSRcx…

I’m pretty sure I just saw a @Qantas 727 landing into @BrisbaneAirport - I didn’t think Qantas, or anyone, was flying B727s anymore.

Blogging your travels and creating photo stories t.co/d1DDlAUDN…

Fran &amp; Esteban are having a second wedding, a year later, in Chile! Have a ball Team Opa… t.co/M9UNQrT59… t.co/BwA1WmT1h…

Bae (FYI: correct ‘Bae’ usage) #Brooklyn t.co/F65lJvEq1… t.co/tAHGURg1I…

How Google knows stuff t.co/g8IOAPZgD…

The Original fancy elopement by The Pop-Up Wedding Co. is coming to Sydney in August! t.co/rFzIJHIuJ… t.co/0gp2kXR9e…

Taking the #popupwedding to #Sydney! t.co/S0QfQ5aEV…

Who Exactly Are Uber’s Drivers? (American stats) t.co/lR39kMUCz…

Love this pic! It’s what I’m going for in a wedding: cool, calm, collected, fun, happy, … t.co/0UVpPIafJ… t.co/5mLQaO0AS…

Waa-hay!

Let me introduce you to my father-in-law, the photobomber :) Sue &amp; Jon #marriedbyjosh an… t.co/gl59nt1UC… t.co/b2G8TyFdw…

At an upcoming wedding I’ll be sharing the spotlight with Kath and Kim impersonators t.co/qkfWz8QxH…

Meta bumper sticker just seen in Brisbane: Campbell’s a can’t

Expedia, the recently new US owners of Wotif are firing 99% of their BNE-based workforce on Australia Day + increasing booking fee by $10

Have any Queensland candidates made policy promises about legislating for ride-sharing? #qldpol

Brisbane is: Saturday morning traffic jams. Thanks, Obama.

Subaru backwards is “ur a bus”

Waa-hay!

Sue &amp; John #marriedbyjosh in the Tallebudgera Valley photographed by @paulbamford t.co/AeOqsx6Kf…

For my friends in business t.co/uiAVlzZso… t.co/BGB6crFCE…

The Cannon Hill studios would be as cold as ice today. A nice “welcome to the family” meeting would be going down. t.co/kAZC4H4FX…

Waa-hay!

“Thought, if not written down and shared with others, changes nothing. Does it matter?” t.co/v9b7PtSsF…

Cameron &amp; Racquel #marriedbyjosh #weddingphotography by @JosieRichardsonPhoto t.co/ZSnPd7y3G… t.co/RdrK3Qice…

“Where does all the rain even go??” - Britt

Waa-hay!

My only employee is my wife.

Question for the accountants: I’m sleeping with my only employee, are there any capital gains things to worry about?

Hey @Telstra - your survey for prizes comp doesn’t ask for contact details when you win t.co/w4hWAK5RE… t.co/pqzaxGqKA…

Get Tailor here t.co/Mq7OBGP4F…

Join Lozzie at my next celebrant training workshop! t.co/vYHGnSjfe…

Just downloaded ‘Tailor’ iPhone app - auto stitches overlapping screenshots together. Very cool! t.co/a6heAZPvU…

At the end of 2015 @hellobrittanyjane and I are going on a “working holiday” around #The… t.co/2lwi9momH… t.co/ozVAwYqab…

Waa-hay!

Why 2015 weddings are going to be all about hessian, lightsabers and fishbowls - my predictions on Polka Dot Bride t.co/9luT4FYHC…

“You recently ordered some glitter for an enemy. Please note that there will be a bit of a delay as the site somehow got popular.”

Reading a crazy book about a hitman “It feels kind of cool to come back from work every day without having killed… t.co/Cn3Fmy8ck…

Have just been asked to do a wedding ceremony in a music festival!!!

The wizard of weddings! t.co/zatuWhxhP…

Things just got deep in my inbox t.co/f8h75SQtR…

If possible, close to Cabarita, but anywhere is awesome. Any recs?

I had a place but they’re not available. Just somewhere for me to meet couples in Sydney.

I’m looking for a small meeting space, co-work pace w/ day rates, even just a cafe open into the evening that is meeting friendly in Sydney.

I’m planning something really awesome for this fair!!! t.co/KoJLWnsmO… t.co/lGVonHq7F…

One of my favourite Brisbane wedding events each year is the Vintage Bride wedding fair - save this date! t.co/pjnT5Xg6A…

Ant and Sally #marriedbyjosh t.co/2q64RGUZo…

Not from The Onion t.co/a59PVQUys…

Worst response to a proposal ever (note sent from an 11 year old girl to her classmate) t.co/2q8UnB17W…

Decades from now, 2015 will be known as the year Taylor Swift divided a nation #Tay4Hottest100

Just added an actual old friend of mine to my “website friends” list. Meet Trent and Jessie!! t.co/yL1ZuVBDk… t.co/rj7UZL5nV…

An Internet hero is born: the stock photobomber t.co/GPPXibTWw…

It’s my grandma’s birthday in a few weeks and the big event is that she’s coming out: she’s telling all her friends that she’s 80, not 75…

Have you been looking for wedding podcasts in all the wrong places? Check out @SaveTheDatePC!

Police threat level increases to high. Qld Police forced to wear political signs in sandwich board fashion for protection from budget cuts.

Have you seen The Significant Space? Amy &amp; Milton review awesome spaces to get married in! Like Kelvin Homestead t.co/y5LyVx7sL…

Not sure if turbulence is always really bad or if I am the world’s wussiest flyer t.co/g9SPSGN2t… t.co/P8DFPnw7S…

Waa-hay!

Unsold Google Glass Units To Be Donated To Assholes In Africa t.co/hHSQ2inSG…

Homeward bound, see you in a week, Sydney!

Chicago Introduces New Citywide Gun-Sharing Stations t.co/RexwkwzrO…

A Pizza Hut ran by cats t.co/7yGvptgXX…

The latest poll on the 4BC opinion pole is in there’s been a massive swing towards Microsoft Wordart &amp; promo stickers t.co/Zp0YlEnis…

HAZ PHONE BACK! Move along everybody, nothing to see here. t.co/yAk4OWzv0… t.co/mtIscQqu9…

Waa-hay!

“No matter how you used yesterday, you received 24 hours today.” - An Unknown Author

This dialogue from Interstellar on love really moved me t.co/isKel4zLS… t.co/HKSbKCKSn…

5,200 Days in Space t.co/h2Zb35U7n…

Waa-hay!

So it turns out everyone is getting #Stan access today … t.co/Lg47xdF2z…

First I saw @MolksTVTalk get a #Stan invite. Then I got one. Then @EvanD got one. Does everyone get one?

They’ve got it in for repairs overnight and now I’m out of touch and out of reach, so send my mail care of Bondi Beach!

I’m in Sydney and my iPhone died directly out the front of the George Street Apple Store.

&lt;3 Scrubs …. 13 Songs That Proved Scrubs Were Masters of Music t.co/XIHJeTu3F…

BREAKING: Man handing out flyers in Pitt Street Mall has had his soul sucked out of him by the pure joy he receives from his employment.

Interstellar’s Amelia Brand on love - what a wedding reading! t.co/CNH7koq3z…

I grew up wanting to “be on the radio” because I listened to Pauly, Mikey and The Sandman on @triplej every morning before school- HB folks!

If you’re totes into wedding emails, my weekly one just went out! Read it here t.co/bhgJ7Qmnj… and subscribe so you get next week’s!

Is it after the tennis yet?

Just watched #Interstellar on IMAX with @molkstvtalk … just in awe

Makeshift Sydney office :) t.co/IJdwuFG0c… t.co/agFg3n62g…

It’s plane to see I made it to Sydney ok t.co/ZDUwmdAzV… t.co/62QWBYsOn…

I love #UberX! It’s like my non-English speaking mate picks me up from the airport and let’s me control his Spotify.

Don’t mind if I do, Sydney. See you tomorrow night, @Wil_Anderson! t.co/mIGKH8QE6…

#UberX is banned, or geoblocked from the airport.

I’d love to see how many passengers walk outside of @SydneyAirport to catch an #UberX, @Uber_Sydney? There’s three of us at the moment.

I’m all out of fresh and new selfie faces … Sydney bound t.co/PrsIZI2k5… t.co/4IYgDlNMz…

Sydney bound!

WhiteAlbum - a disposable camera for your iPhone … what an innovative idea! t.co/ac5iSdmEo…

Pumpkin themed #wedding. Photo by #binaryflip t.co/pyIWCumGZ… t.co/2s8RHpjhM…

Jeff and Shannon made an awesome music video to announce their engagement t.co/7c1ny2PhW… t.co/QkwczLbQn…

I graduated from the Fresh Prince of Bel Air dance school t.co/Q7rlrNPoD…

Some enagement announcement music video inspiration t.co/lzYvF1ROm…

#SpiderCat #AggieWithers #AgnesWithers t.co/phpeyXt6U… t.co/scereQpgL…

Waa-hay!

I’d like to start a ska band, The Contending Bosstones.

Here’s a crazy idea for wedding rings, not exchanging them, but just putting them on yourself t.co/A0jieqlpm… t.co/a89ynJRGj…

In the Daily Mail: Brides' horror stories about buying cheap wedding dresses. Stay away from the cheapies! t.co/dSIAcC7Ev…

Putting your own wedding ring on your own finger - instead of exchanging them t.co/qhBxdQo0L…

You are what you share … t.co/NLzQCqEjI…

DIY Lightsaber t.co/L48vKOxrq…

The latest weather update from the #AuthenticWeather app t.co/jNlyb3XUE… t.co/yaNRgQKcQ…

Come join me at a celebrant training event around the country this year! t.co/DVA9FFwuq… t.co/HwnZTmIPB…

I don’t mean to boast but I just scheduled an 8am Saturday morning appointment. How’s that, adult life?!

This ring bearer and flower girl got married 20 years after their first walk down an aisle! t.co/W10uGkndU…

Vicki, a bride, was just telling me about her and her fiancé’s first big fight and I had… t.co/oXL1b725U… t.co/LrbZnf0TD…

The Lego Movie WAS awesome, but an 83 minute ad shouldn’t win an Oscar.

Valentine’s Day isn’t as soppy, romantic and cheesy as everyone thinks t.co/LQU3VXxZJ… t.co/PI7KFoHtf…

Get a sponsor child t.co/5agyJ4LjI…

In the 90’s TMBG were intrigued by the absurd KISS song Dr Love &amp; wondered ‘what other absurd docs could there be?’ t.co/3Cp2kI0Vq…

Sock Fancy - get socks in the mail #OMGWTF t.co/HfxT5MHyH…

Japanese Candy Delivered To You Every Month t.co/jxXR6Kb5D…

Join Helen at my next celebrant training workshop! t.co/vYHGnSjfe…

I don’t remember being this passionate // photo by @miltongan t.co/e5NZ74DnT… t.co/eWpbguh3B…

I think the thing everyone’s missing here is that Shake It Off IS the actual hottest song of 2014 #ThisSickBeat #Tay4Hottest100

I just spammed every single NSW marriage celebrant inviting them to my training workshop … t.co/EWoGNIsNv… … cool domain right?

HOME DELIVERED COOKIES OMG t.co/6QHP8gune…

#selfie by @miltongan t.co/aoe9idK9u… t.co/BhZNgNTPU…

It’s almost un-Australian to not vote for Tay at this point #Tay4Hottest100

As far as lyrical content goes, there couldn’t be a better song to crash the #hottest100 t.co/nIYjeZsBS… #Tay4Hottest100

Why can’t it be taco Tuesday every night? Asking for a friend.

I need a street address in the Sydney CBD, preferably for a public business, to receive a single letter to - anyone?

#Tay4Hottest100 #neverforget

“I normally find ceremonies to be boring and strangely sad or awkward but I LOVED ours” - Ben &amp; Leah #marriedbyjosh t.co/S8Eiw1yUR…

Why Britt and are passionate about eradicating child marriage t.co/CXegIAX6L… t.co/qJubC0yxy…

Waa-hay!

Browsing around the #popupwedding tag we found @ohwhatadaypopupwedding &amp; engaged in some… t.co/8Uy5PPE1T… t.co/Us0W7d1ZZ…

Thanks to @swoodgate I now know that I can be Googled at “psychotic celebrant Brisbane”

I love emptying kitty litter #affirmations #positivity #icandoit

Find a Perth marriage celebrant! t.co/UPgM1apRM…

I just saw a post from @Wil_Anderson on Facebook and realised that it’s this weekend that @MolksTVTalk &amp; I do Sydney. Woohoo!

Launching my training workshops and celebrant OPD dates! t.co/Hccu71IZ5…

Email from a couple “did not find you by googling ‘hipster celebrant’….googled ‘not old celebrant’ haha”

Find a Gold Coast marriage celebrant! t.co/ledD92IXI…

Find a Whitsundays marriage celebrant! t.co/MUQzrEAHI…

Curiosity killing the cat t.co/itfCAN41z… t.co/EaXjvELDi…

How do people not know their own email addresses? t.co/agamk5q7H…

Find a Byron Bay marriage celebrant! t.co/hJxBIXIfv…

How else will this cruel world deceive me?

Finding out that a favourite song is a cover, 16 years after it was released … feeling so stupid t.co/WcQFyqDYM…

Come on Eileen plays on Spotify and you’re home alone. Kevin McCallister has nothing on me.

James + Liliana #marriedbyjosh photographed by @kristina_childs #wedding #brisbanecelebr… t.co/98FqIeDnl… t.co/zbCVG9DXr…

If you are a #SydneyCelebrant you’re invited to my #celebrant training workshop on March… t.co/lhtzcbuTG… t.co/M98uykXro…

Waa-hay!

.@TwitterAU you know that’s the ugliest way of tweeting right? Surely we could find a prettier way of doing this?

Find a Canberra marriage celebrant! t.co/GZzi8fvWp…

Sydney celebrants, come at me! t.co/t56uBqAA9…

I’m running a wedding celebrant training workshop in Sydney - come along! t.co/EWoGNIsNv…

I’ve just realised that I’ve finished work in Brisbane too late and if I leave now I’m just going to sit in traffic. Sigh.

Only moments before @kristina_childs snapped this photo last year I was closing a multi-… t.co/5akoUtwUV… t.co/NSW4rZvzZ…

A one month early Happy #ValentinesDay on my blog right now. Why it’s a great reason tha… t.co/h2tQQkvi6… t.co/2bjubqQMD…

Why Valentine’s Day is a great day to get married t.co/qub8y3BWJ…

Find a Melbourne marriage celebrant! t.co/lfLxXDzHb…

The first thing I’m going to ask Jesus is ‘who is Ed Sheeran’s song, Don’t, about?’

Want to get married on Valentine’s Day? Today’s your last chance to give one month’s not… t.co/lfNCG3Ud9… t.co/CmN1X1wZc…

Find a Brisbane marriage celebrant! t.co/9FRBl0K6G…

Optus: behind the times.

There’s a blog post on the way telling you why Valentine’s Day is the best day to get married, not the cheesiest!

Want to get married on Valentine’s Day? Today’s your last chance to give one month’s notice.

Find a Sydney marriage celebrant! t.co/4zgXzFywG…

Waa-hay!

I’m in the awesome marriages business, so Lamana’s story makes me really sad t.co/EfjtAhO5a…

Creating your wedding social media policy, a quick guide t.co/1YxIJiUgH… t.co/isRCZL1Sy…

A really intelligent friend, @LisDingjan, gave me some contact form advice and now I get awesome emails like this t.co/Rj3D1kNku…

The #ByronBay #PopUpWedding has launched! All the info is at t.co/F6IyPmEos… t.co/jFW4GopGv…

Mind you, it’s nothing compared to the 33,067 emails that you guys sent me …

My IT guys just told me that I sent 8,498 emails last year. Sorry ‘bout that.

A couples therapist suggests asking yourself this question before you get married t.co/EaVcjsTd5…

Are we Pinterest buddies yet? t.co/bmYeLMtTj… t.co/xtHeg8569…

Happy to join the Wedding Lovely team of vendors :) t.co/bZywaXXTJ…

Everything you need to know about a #weddingselfie and social media at your wedding t.co/4zbaWvMib…

Why Transparency Is The New Marketing t.co/loNdTPwhn…

Facebook Page Unliker - a simpel tool to help you unlike all those pages you liked years ago - t.co/rvpzgt5pC…

Remember when we used to order letterheads. Now we order a domain name.

People sometimes mistake me for a wedding celebrant. I’m actually just a professional email inbox emptier.

Stevie, every time I shower. She just watches me. t.co/t88IySdlt… t.co/8Ng5YStib…

A warning about hiring me as your celebrant t.co/HbNmuu4JI…

Win Sydney tickets to Love on the Lawn! t.co/enp8ec5mj… t.co/KBiZRu8Jf…

I’ve got $20 for a sydney bride and groom .. well not $20, but $20 worth of ticket to @LoveOnTheLawn1 t.co/4KvXVrOGK…

Do you ever think that @1200Techniques has lost faith in karma after no one wrote a song about their karma?

One month t.co/DS9toBxZf…

A World Transfixed by Screens - a collection of photos that would’nt have existed15 years ago t.co/vnhyY1f5Q…

Your help needed to plan a bride and groom meetup in Brisbane! t.co/4m5AF28qa… t.co/H3ysKhdYM…

Your help needed to plan a bride and groom meetup in Brisbane! t.co/RF2Vwlplc…

I probably tweet more than the average nerd. I think most tweets go unread and unnoticed. I tweet one inaccurate thing about the NBN, boom.

Waa-hay!

Bought a misspelled domain name last night, @hover probably needs to install a breathalyser.

Is there a 1800 number you call if you se someone using iOS 6?

And survey says …. t.co/FJcAvasWe…

I made it into the top 10 of the Best Of Polka Dot Wisdom 2014!! t.co/ozRQhZiNO…

“Why you still in bed?” t.co/ZFkeOiuN6… t.co/3Iwb78PF8…

Thing I’d appreciate and be ever thankful for: you clicking this link and clicking the loveheart symbol! t.co/QWIHWu9GH…

These two wedding readings are ones you may have heard before t.co/83YO2F6IL… t.co/0AeaYUCh3…

Katie and Dan’s Glittery Twilight Wedding #marriedbyjosh t.co/LJXlEo0Qh…

Tim and Britany #marriedbyjosh!! t.co/8CWjvusbV… t.co/2RoUHYS7o…

BLACK MAGIC! t.co/uYWaVNZCR…

Wade + Brooke t.co/yrc99Xws0…

Chris &amp; Di #marriedbyjosh t.co/qHrxIDHmf…

Can you help me brainstorm a podcast name? I want to create a show about using tech, gadgets, websites, apps, to help solo/small businesses.

Tenielle + Dean t.co/xtWGLVW5H…

Call out for audio engineers/producers looking for work, msg me.

Britt’s flying @Qantas business class for the first time today t.co/rcUqYLPRi…

Viv + Bart #marriedbyjosh t.co/UEdydd4sy…

Lemme take a selfiey t.co/s0OhjHARl…

If there happens to be anyone with a spare couple of minutes in Melbourne’s Tullamarine airport around 10:40am tomorrow morning let me know?

Ellectra &amp; Sam #marriedbyjosh t.co/Mlo49YFLx…

… so I’m never opening Messages on my iPhone again, sorry to anyone that ever messages me.

I don’t know how your day is going but a client accidentally sent me a picture of his gear today …

10 Ways Weddings Are Completely Different Now t.co/b4ObeePwq…

Are you with stupid? Get your @Can_do_Campbell “I’m with stupid” t-shirt, iPhone case and mug at t.co/2SlSQxQfW… #FreeCanDo

Andy + Meredith #marriedbyjosh t.co/KFK84LdUb…

Courtney and Lee #marriedbyjosh t.co/HwRMOu3Wp…

Jon &amp; Rachel #marriedbyjosh t.co/wpSuEnv26…

Our cats being catty #StevieWithers #AgnesWithers t.co/f2fuJYbop… t.co/tfPW7Slt7…

Selfie dolls. when a selfie stick isn’t enough. t.co/KNWoWYsd6…

Lugg, it’s Uber for removalists t.co/xzGDbjBhP…

When Danielle from White+White and I talked to Concrete Playground :) t.co/bJkxdiqAF…

That time @Can_do_Campbell made it into Time for wearing an “I’m With Stupid” T-Shirt t.co/kku8EhhI6… t.co/ULrBXM7D8…

If your idea can be invalidated by a funny cartoon, your idea might need readjustment. Advice for entrepreneurs and terrorists.

Tenille + Aidan surprise #marriedbyjosh t.co/4lwqOUmoa…

Tenielle &amp; Dean t.co/w3vQT24U9…

Saudi Royalty are holidaying on #HamiltonIsland at the moment t.co/5zhNYWkCf…

Snapped by @Bill_Drossos post-wedding #hiweddings #HamiltonIsland t.co/XdqrkBLJd…

Awkward for @TurnbullMalcolm, the new US minimum broadband standard is the new Australian maximum standard for #NBN t.co/KAf79edoX…

I had no intention of any political campaigning #qldpol, but now I want to buy an ‘I’m with stupid’ shirt and go on #smurfwatch #FreeCanDo

I’m with stupid -&gt; @Can_do_Campbell #FreeCanDo

Not sure how much I can say, but I know that this is not the last time everyone will hear from @Can_do_Campbell this #qldpol #FreeCanDo

So proud, @Can_do_Campbell #FreeCanDo t.co/vEK8Go0UC…

Steff &amp; Pascha #remarriedbyjosh :) t.co/cwSrRXFZc…

What’s going to be important in 2015, from a technology point of view but apprpoiate for all in business t.co/dQ9wMgFNC…

It’s going to be a real struggle for the @VirginAustralia staff to get me on my 1:55pm f… t.co/1UlUYgAIa… t.co/EP9B2zjhM…

OMG A MASSIVE COCONUT FELL AND ALMOST JUST KILLED ME. Tropical life is hard, yo #TheStruggleIsReal

Sam &amp; Ellectra #marriedbyjosh t.co/nZqcHPbuM…

I’m just showing off now #Breakfast #HamiltonIsland t.co/nNTFY3QJL… t.co/dWVLVst6Y…

Jess and Michael #marriedbyjosh t.co/oNkqozIay…

Doing my part for the youth of today t.co/5aHn2wqyT…

Simon &amp; Ancuta #marriedbyjosh on @hamiltonisland with the sweet team at @hiweddings. Pho… t.co/yV3bqajHI… t.co/1rr7YVPoN…

What even is a wedding celebrant? t.co/GwiLXVWD3…

When I was a wee bit younger, a Whitsunday cruise company called Fantasea had a radio ji… t.co/afFJlmcwe… t.co/lk6CmaKDN…

Hi Mackay friends! I wanted to drop in and say hi but the pilot said no :( t.co/wBZl5Twwd… t.co/kHElja1pO…

Remembering the first Perth pop-up wedding that we put on t.co/HAZGTXnmh…

Really looking forward to Channel 13 News' upcoming documentary on the human condition.

Heath at The Left Lane made me look pretty in pictures :) t.co/zEMf9hDa2…

Love White Mag! :) t.co/qI0c9WCrk…

Can you buy @VirginAustralia lounge guest passes?

In other news, I’m three hours early for a flight.

Withers Law of Driving to @BrisbaneAirport from GC: leave early, there will be no traffic. Don’t leave early, there will be so much traffic.

Kate &amp; Dan #marriedbyjosh t.co/rdjYxFBjL…

A spectacular couple were married together in a spectacular wedding today! Scott &amp; Angel… t.co/e0kvJkADv… t.co/36FRnVAfb…

Either Angel read my blog post about chairs in the weekend or she’s a really smart chick… t.co/NnO2V9O26… t.co/xVS5zaCeM…

Kayla and Nathan #marriedbyjosh t.co/FXp5hXi2X…

How awkward. Business person just (I assume accidentally) ended the phone call with “I love you”. And no, the business person wasn’t me.

Huey Lewis and Method Man inspire some awesome wedding readings t.co/B0fVA4kSt…

Awesome wedding reading lol t.co/jCjH0sTMT…

Australian marriage celebrant reveals wackiest weddings - The Daily Mail t.co/X80OoPUYb…

Shame, shame, shame t.co/rzwiOyzWx…

Simon &amp; Cara-Mia’s pop-up wedding #marriedbyjosh t.co/ZlgwYDLPT…

Wanted: podcast mediator, as @MolksTVTalk and I compare the Oz TV streaming services to the US services, side by side on the same lounge.

2015 goal: be on more podcasts … either mine or other peoples. Thanks for the oppurtunity, Cam! t.co/UyK1710RL…

Carmen &amp; Simon #marriedbyjosh t.co/QyVRDPIH1…

Hung out with four really cool people today. Only three are in this photo. t.co/ipAFach45… t.co/l8J32qISV…

We were probably a year early with the Star Wars pop-up wedding (news article from 2014) … t.co/jkR5npo0Y…

Alicia and Andrew’s twist on the sand ceremony is such an eye opener for so many couples! t.co/MhpLujfzk…

Would you prefer to go to a wedding on a Monday or a Thursday?

Really looking forward to Hamilton Island this week! t.co/OQqTjBOPr…

Katie and Matt #marriedbyjosh t.co/D0bZVIwGQ…

What kind of age are we living in when a prince can’t have an orgy?

Cam and Gabby! #marriedbyjosh at #powerhouse Photographed by @bayleighvedelago_photograp… t.co/kvkhGNH4a… t.co/Gh4peaYL5…

AAAHHH! There’s another person with the same name as me and he has a wedding website t.co/yhdntg5Dm…

Cassie &amp; Andrew #marriedbyjosh t.co/UBebGKP7p…

“pop up wedding” “poop up wedding”

one letter brings totally different search engine results

Ray and Rebekah #marriedbyjosh at #cloudland! t.co/9hyfhJnxd… t.co/ihvsXmFXH…

Nice renovations, @cloudlandbrisbane! t.co/C4OEfK0Uq… t.co/aN6vLo0hM…

Stuart + Lisa #marriedbyjosh t.co/RzWyblnQg… t.co/RKYygrnik…

Something for all of us wedding people to aspire to in 2015! t.co/EUKmmTc7D…

How many chairs to hire for your wedding ceremony … all the big problems amirite? t.co/dzk0ZviJo… t.co/HtoCgQAYs…

The peculiar problem with wedding chairs t.co/9o3kDaTBI…

Waa-hay!

I love how Google analytics doesn’t know what 90% of people are searching for on Google … t.co/J9B44ONZl…

I asked Kim how she was feeling before she walked down the aisle and she screamed “I’m r… t.co/3ryf1zIl7… t.co/1WDacabq1…

“I’m really fucking excited!” Kim screamed so then I married her to Chris and we all had a ball! #marriedbyjosh t.co/NiDxD6kL5…

Waa-hay!

Is my petrol halal certified? Asking for a friend.

Cam and Gabby #marriedbyjosh!! t.co/WhFovFS2V… t.co/RRKQxIbsL…

How cool is this engagement photo t.co/iMa9OwyxG… t.co/NGdoToABq…

What trials unite not only Harry Potter or Frodo Baggins but many of literature’s most interesting heroes? t.co/hfSDzu3l7…

Christmas holiday fun game: step 1) rent white van. Step 2) park van on highway.

Waa-hay!

Is there an app that lets you know where speed cameras are? Not that I’m planning on speeding tonight, just asking for a friend …

“‘Used to be,’ is not necessarily a mark of failure. It’s more often a sign of bravery and progress.” t.co/WX9oMAo5h…

I don’t want to take full responsibility for global warming but i just flushed the wrong urinal.

And we all watched some awesome dude dance a dance that involved clapping and stamping. … t.co/3bPx62yBD… t.co/YsLwEH57L…

The celebrant monster t.co/LfmSMSbhj… t.co/x0xxyzveG…

Grant + Kendall travelled from Texas to be married on New Year’s Day! #marriedbyjosh t.co/Jt9AYdcAc… t.co/Bh4pORbK4…

“The most wasted of all days is one without laughter.” - E.E. Cummings

Viv + Bart #marriedbyjosh photo @paulbamford t.co/wV1P2BTOF…

I always forget, which one is the crime, jernalizm or journalism, @PeterGreste?

Accidentally watch a a Nicholas Cage film last night. Glad 2014 is behind us.

Happy new year everyone! t.co/tO4IArNTK… t.co/DkZvblngl…

My new year’s resolution is CGA #nevergetsold

It’s 2015 and I feel like a halal certified globally warmed cross bun with no $5 co-payment. Help anyone?

Four little numbers that help us compartmentalise 365 days of feelings. Be gone current four digit compartment code. Bring on a new one.

Waa-hay!

Roy and Mariya just said yes to marriage under the Story Bridge! What a way to celebrate… t.co/CGcRNr07p… t.co/0chUv8HD8…

Telling stories under the Story Bridge this #NYE #brisbanewedding #brisbanecelebrant #br… t.co/xFBlvvt2g… t.co/jH6giO07k…

Looking for a really cool seminar/workshop area in Sydney - anyone? 10-20 people

If you’re looking for a free #NYE Uber code type marriedbyjosh into the app for your first two trips free, up to $25 per trip.

The unedited skies above Fortitude Valley right now t.co/YwPI1fKmi… t.co/fCJ6wX0oH…

I’ve got 2 hours to burn in Brisbane this afternoon. The challenge is to not get drunk before the 5:30pm ceremony :/

We’re planning something pretty cool in 2015! t.co/75Pa2t7MW… t.co/fHNNJlOtl…

I’m writing a book! t.co/uZyG36p86…

McDonald’s have opened a hipster cafe in Sydney, beware fellow hipster bros, you could be acciedntally eating maccas t.co/7RYzhkNdf…

Really kicking ass on this studying thing t.co/mmnUS6T5Y…

Don’t know what I’m talking about? t.co/z4wrFNknY…

CRAZY!

Every single bride or groom that has booked me this week has also supported the child marriage appeal t.co/MB39Ev2nL…

Britt knows me too well. She bought me a book of puns for Christmas :) t.co/GAI1Rws6V… t.co/IogjyxVjQ…

Not much good can come from hitting a kangaroo, but a bug-free bonnet and bumper is close t.co/NtCkRJAJX…

Not much good can come from hitting a kangaroo, but a big-free bonnet and bumper is close t.co/9mgEHQvet… t.co/vHeNDZMnA…

Waste this week by visiting t.co/KXV64cHEq… and choosing that best year of your youth. See you next week.

Search for adventure #SmithJournal t.co/EtcJJsDGt… t.co/qtrXsFk4e…

Keen to drink piña coladas &amp; marry in Bali w/ @popupwed?

t.co/nk04RC1Uw…

Here’s a photo of Agnes sleeping. t.co/uHBqg4i53…

Jay Wilds speaks, but not to Serial t.co/ap3hDBUzn…

When I’m too focused on my work and @hellobrittanyjane wants to play t.co/L5NRonNxC… t.co/F8ocu9kz7…

How weddings need to start t.co/MXICJPAkI… /cc @claybo76

Waa-hay!

Freakingly excited - we’re taking the @popupwed to Bali in the new year! t.co/nk04RC1Uw… t.co/mhBR2Mn9p…

Get rich quick scheme idea: start a band and say you’re TISM then start touring wearing costumes that cover your mouth. Play iPod. Instant $

How is this not the national anthem? t.co/RhUSU7lYX…

Aspire Worldwide is the MLM scam.

Proud husband moment. Britt’s on the phone to a friend who has just gotten into network marketing. She’s trolling the shit out of her.

#Woohoo

How to make your celebrant run on all eight cylinders t.co/5U30UQEQA… t.co/tfWYBuths…

How to get the best out of your wedding celebrant t.co/9FQk2ii3X…

My newest employee, #AgnesWithers, is in the #marriedbyjosh office tonight getting stuff… t.co/ROefw18B1… t.co/Hat6Kcp2J…

#Woohoo

There’s trouble in paradise #AggieWithers #StevieWithers t.co/3iSUgS4To… t.co/LTV2bStIX…

So @zapier is rocking my world - a booking goes straight to email, @QuickBooksAU, GCal and Twitter t.co/OGrvvValr…

Woohoo! I’m going to another wedding! (This auto-tweet means someone just invited me to be their #wedding #celebrant on 2015-03-20!)

My whole life is pretty much centered around posting puns then waiting for the reactions t.co/Dxu4iw6hm…

A very happy first wedding anniversary to two of the loveliest ever to wed, Ricky and Amy! t.co/znrRjidq7… t.co/pxLUttqTK…

What I think the wedding industry will look like in 2015 … I’m mostly wrong though I think t.co/0wv9j2iet…

What to do with all these left over wedding traditions t.co/5mVjxea4n… t.co/g60GO1fO0…

Some sage advice on what to do with all these wedding traditions t.co/xES4BZ9Yd…

We adopted a kitten!! #catsofinstagram t.co/ydnYfMXgh… t.co/BaDkm1Esc…

Morning coffee and Kindle with @hellobrittanyjane t.co/Z5Cc01Wsy… t.co/HtkCH18DW…

I want to leave a mark on the world, a mark that makes the world better, join me? t.co/ssdzRfAZG… t.co/oAZu8rTn7…

Everything any sane person has ever wanted to know about the form you need to complete one mo… t.co/ItEVF3idk… t.co/vupqmgQE9…

From today, brides and grooms that invite me to be their wedding celebrant will have the… t.co/zx4lBvZi4… t.co/JkdM1sVkE…

How your marriage can help stop child marriage - let’s change the world t.co/huDnmvB6q…

Things I learn watching Hulu: In America they pronounce Nissan “Nee-san”.

Brisbane - Honolulu, in August. $5200 on Virgin, $2400 on Qantas, $1400 on Jetstar with luggage and meals &amp; fancy crap. Here we come!

Hey @MolksTVTalk and other Qantas flying peeps - if you see a deal for Qantas Club over the next month, let a brother know ok

Did you get engaged over Christmas? Tag me in your ‘just engaged’ selfie before 2015 and… t.co/lI0wAHwmH… t.co/zZplYmu4r…

How to be an encouraging friend to @parenteswagking t.co/4vZx6eHjP…

Hosting an AMA with @MolksTVTalk’s parents this afternoon. Any questions,? Shoot them through and I’ll be sure to ask.

Radio nerds might be interested to hear B105 today, sounding like they’ve half re-branded to ‘Hit 1053’ whilst still using B105.

Ten years and still no Team Zissou beanie for Christmas. Worst friends ever. Just joking… t.co/qHOnWkq6t… t.co/vgZRBqDX6…

The Internet’s gift to you this Christmas t.co/1Gs95yiUI…

Far too excited about hiding

Britt got me a light box! t.co/yV5sUaB4t… t.co/xSaTouOwL…

t.co/RCkhrdiWY… #doublie @howtodoublie t.co/7KPmYRBXt…

They’re about to tear her down t.co/Oln2XCEln… t.co/iahiMjDgK…

Simon and Julanne just got married as a surprise to all of their friends and family at their Christmas Eve BBQ!

WHY IS NO-ONE REPORTING ON THE RUM BALL SHORTAGES AT WESTFIELD CHERMSIDE?

There’s some books inside #YourTurn #SethGodin t.co/YTboodfRs… t.co/Q368FMrM0…

My 2015 prediction: Updog is finally going to be the social network to take down Facebook t.co/SPvuF1mMK…

Surely under an Abbott government I could get an annulment right?

It’s our third Christmas together and Britt has only now revealed she doesn’t know how to make rumballs.

Just sent all of our presents via Express Post. This is how it works right? #ChristmasEve

Brad &amp; Amy are getting married on Boxing Day. Amy has a msg for u: “P.S if anyone you know suggests a xmas wedding tell them they are crazy”

Get a time machine at your wedding t.co/9ec2rmXkp… t.co/brBUuW5Pm…

Thank you, Ben + Leah!!! #marriedbyjosh #sydneywedding #celebrant - amazing photo by @mi… t.co/beLIRMoFH… t.co/haUXLkMgQ…

Happy Festivus everyone! t.co/JPofA6yyS… t.co/tTTMNcLvQ…

History sometimes repeats t.co/F3fjV5UV2…

Ben + Leah #marriedbyjosh photographed by @miltongan t.co/RTDfm6pYf… t.co/iyG06Bjmt…

Read my predictions for 2015 weddings t.co/ph3OxjU77… t.co/6rkEmMVOo…

My 2015 #wedding trend predictions on the blog right now - link in bio t.co/1gyRcJL6e… t.co/RsltLnJMz…

My bold predictions for the 2015 wedding industry t.co/TjOeldPtm…

“Hey Josh, we met you at one of the wedding expos this year at bond uni! I don’t know if you remember me but you took a photo of my foot”

I’m not sure why this time isn’t booked yet. Just seems cray cray. #BackToTheFutureII t.co/AkP9794me…

Here’s some deeper reading on the subject too t.co/Fseev61RR…

Read more at Girls Not Brides: t.co/LjURXNq6S… and over Christmas I’m going to think about doing some fundraising. @girlsnotbrides

I think I’ve got to do something tangible about this in the new year.

… it broke my heart to hear that 1 in 3 girls in the developing world are losing their innocence to the same thing I celebrate.

As someone that has the honour of seeing so many consenting adults enter into the union of marriage.

Reading some blogs today and I found this alarming info about child marriage t.co/IMdGyzMiK…

What if the whole “Minister for Women” thing was Tony Abbott’s gift to the media this Christmas?

Mike Meyers rocks SNL opener as Dr Evil, talking to Sony &amp; North Korea t.co/jLl6ZAm51… - VPN required

2GB comes to Fairfax Radio Network’s rescue as it throws Kiis 96 under the bus to pay for the rescue.

The pilots of Instagram: beautiful views from the cockpit, violating rules of the air - Quartz t.co/dCNmsXC9P…

Fans of @paulkelly would find it depressing to know that t.co/tgxuhemvw… is not only, not a travel blog, but also, un-registered.

Has anyone just tried sending truckloads of mangoes into war-torn countries?

Bebo is back.

Does my #Bebo look like me? Add me! My username is ‘joshuawithers’ t.co/NZxIXdVZj… t.co/LDzx5X5W1…

Bebo is back.

Home! #FIFOcelebrant

A @miltongan selfie t.co/sPEpUmiNv… t.co/4BpVYcNL4…

NSW, where you can still wear your sunglasses at 7:30pm in the summer.

Ben &amp; Leah #marriedbyjosh #thatglare t.co/YsFswt4Ry… t.co/43IJB1XGu…

Probably the most stressful thing in my life at the moment is learning new steering wheel controls in every rental t.co/calUdvgW9…

Wowser! #Vaucluse12ftAmateurSailingClub t.co/p1vjzw72Q… t.co/821Endo29…

Sydney’s @kiis1065 is trying something with @kyleandjackieo: three hours of greetings each morning t.co/d7SQJ5WYi…

Stunning day for a wedding in Sydney today

Hello #Sydney, you bloody good-looking city t.co/L8YFoUR9a… t.co/jkQrmISAV…

Reading the first edition of the @bulabride magazine while waiting for my flight to Sydn… t.co/3boFw97z9… t.co/qllEw9SZh…

Sydney bound for a Watsons Bay wedding today! I’ve got a few hours free around lunch if anyone is about :)

Merry Christmas from the Withers! t.co/e0kHZBYYE… t.co/r2qYKLSQU…

Love marrying family! Sue &amp; John #marriedbyjosh styled by @signsofwear and photographed … t.co/fCimW273l… t.co/AejH1GlpH…

Top ten things that uptown funk don’t give it to ya.

“The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who can’t read them. MARK TWAIN” t.co/rAVEttDLA…

Bad news in the @Serial world, guys, the little girl who can’t pronounce @Mailchimp never learnt how to pronounce Mailchimp for the last ep.

NEW/LAST SERIAL, YO t.co/5pJHpwDvz…

I don’t mean to boast, but SEO guy told me that my site is the 1,159,786th most visited site in the world. Take that, t.co/6vjgWRg3i…

Anyone remember that old website that was useless - t.co/p9j1OSmTk… or something like that - hypnotic animate background or something

I think we’re all a Waleed today.

Skills: Substantial aptitude in adopting voluminous lexicon in a resume.

Why doesn’t anyone use underline anymore? Kids these days are all about bold and italics, why all the underline hate?

Shopping centres, full of those of us not smart enough to shop online at Christmas.

How do self-employed people ‘chuck a sickie’? Asking for a friend.

Running your own business is just a minefield of unexpected expenses …

Should we keep on renting a car or Uber do you think?

Our car is being repaired, post Kangaroo incident, and it’s still going to be another week or two apparently.

I love the market stubbornness of @612brisbane and @NewsTalk4BC both broadcasting the same cricket match. Over to podcasts now.

Everyone should listen to Britt explain ‘the cloud’. Right now she wants me to ‘just drag Taylor Swift’s album’ from her cloud to mine.

You can’t even make a blockbuster movie about assassinating a dangerous unstable sitting world leader without ruffling feathers these days.

Should’ve been using these t.co/Puh7moiFX…

Jae + Sally #marriedbyjosh t.co/fmwrnPqI2… t.co/Y3ni57ykh…

Trialling a new #Behringer portable PA system at Jae &amp; Sally’s #wedding tonight t.co/cO7NBfrIV… t.co/hhCulK8ho…

Freakingly stunning Brisbane evening! #tonightsoffice t.co/wmXsXWIou…

The taxi council’s ads are just sad and they have to be bordering on slanderous @NewsTalk4BC @Uber_Brisbane

Listening to @NewsTalk4BC for an hour and have heard 3 anti-Uber ads from the taxi council. So glad my wage doesn’t come from there anymore.

In a time when the facts change every minute, I just wish there was a hardcopy of everything we knew hours ago t.co/Ed8tgqqeO…

Is it national ignorance day again already? I always forget the date.

I’ve never seen a ‘shooting star’ so I don’t know what to look for #Geminids

“Life found a way” - Spike and Ellie’s wedding t.co/IlkHeFIzp… t.co/8o35iBbWV…

She likes me for me t.co/itz0PfH8w… t.co/2nW61CwsM…

Spike and Ellie liked Jurassic Park … and then they got married #roar t.co/rg0ZB1ET5…

“Government closes deal to use Datsun 120Y’s in new high speed rail service” #NBN t.co/FpiD4Iheh…

A wedding is making it’s way to the blog soon that has a strand of it’s DNA in it from one of my favourite movies t.co/50vsswtbf…

I was lucky enough to move into an #NBN house last week and can wholeheartedly agree with @mpesce - it’s crazy that lucky had to be used

Russell &amp; Brianna surprised all of their friends and family and were #marriedbyjosh this… t.co/EVm1bZW6C… t.co/BxZbq2iAH…

Hammer time t.co/fJs8A8aCf…

“Thank you for making our wedding day so special. From the first meeting, your friendlin… t.co/22vfmOq3z… t.co/bP63jhd6s…

Expecting a perfect wedding is the first step in planning to fail at weddings t.co/HhpubiHMF… t.co/JKi1xreOy…

You’ll never have a perfect wedding - and that’s ok t.co/Hr7M6m9Vd…

My busiest enquiry day this past six months has been October 1 … Rocktober must be for lovers. t.co/P35RHljXR…

Charlie is a free email app that briefs me automatically on each meeting: t.co/B2RXlBWKL…

I’ve got a weekend full of meetings and I wouldn’t be able to stay sane through it all if it wasn’t for @AppCharlie t.co/B2RXlBWKL…

Love getting positive, encouraging, packages in the mail! Thank you, Mark &amp; Amanda! #marriedbyjosh @… t.co/6kSmDPoNy…

We had to share these photos we just got from our USA trip t.co/DDcYy3QXu… t.co/XM4IE9RkO…

Luke and Mallory took some amazing photos and we had to blog them! t.co/ZnuL3mT28…

#BrooklynBridge with my favourite human on the planet, @hellobrittanyjane - thanks for t… t.co/VvcNXyQ4Q… t.co/3lfgT4Hkz…

Uptown, downtown, turn the beat around town. Hip hopping, diddy beat bopping. There’s no… t.co/6gvCo5aVO… t.co/73tGKHUCr…

My kingdom to read the @SatPaper on my #Kindle.

“Thanks so much for being our celebrant- the way in which you listened and helped us pre… t.co/0VytW4gGu… t.co/9OU3D83Ac…

It’s such a blessing to have created a business where not only I can do something that b… t.co/qfhvPXj19… t.co/nh2RMzxdk…

#Qantas flights turning back &amp; everyone goes home &gt; @Qantas not addressing warning signs &amp; everyone burning in a firey disaster

If any men come into the house they’ll smell my assembling and no doubt leave.

Marked my masculine territory in the new house by assembling IKEA furniture everywhere.

I hope you guys have been watching over my FarmVille farm for me.

Shoutout to the #Sydney crew! Early bird tickets for @loveonthelawn1 are available now f… t.co/s2aFrE0E8… t.co/7jsn7nDAL…

My new @Kobo eReader is the buggiest frikkin thing on the planet. Although the @JBHiFi sales idiot sold Britt a 2yo model :/

Happy 0th anniversary. Thanks, Kobo. t.co/iFgzdU5Mu…

So proud #ACA t.co/HA2iJS2Of…

Well this is pretty awesome #mrandmrscorbett #marriedbyjosh - pic by @bendog at #Vellero… t.co/VWhcaeplX… t.co/BMlnBKiJy…

Look at what @hellobrittanyjane got me for my cake day! t.co/7nuHQnaRc… t.co/BN6fUtB1j…

“I need you to help me find a wife for my brother” - phone call from a young Indian gent right now who I’m pretty sure was not pranking me

Friend just received this message on a dating website t.co/NjjCMKrOm…

This seems like it could be my only chance to get @AustenTayshus1 to ever talk to me, so here goes. #TeamJustin @justinhamilton_

I’m quitting jokes until I write a book,

Tomorrow I turn 33. That marks one year since … t.co/tE875iyNx… t.co/LyN1c1TbI…

Paula + Tim awesomely #marriedbyjosh at the #VelleronHouse! #mrandmrscorbett t.co/SG39F4MF1… t.co/GDZLJKSFc…

Freelancing: How to talk yourself into charging more t.co/ByGJxFybb…

#VelleronHouse today with @bendog for Paula &amp; Tim’s #wedding t.co/dLZWyQpJL… t.co/b9Nr9J15t…

[How to Do What You Love] An 8 year old article on the world of earning money t.co/BeYnxlx7g…

Designing a logo would have to be such a brain killing, so important but equally, so useless, process … @popupwed t.co/M5dbLS8Aj…

Confessions of a Mortician t.co/PFOC14dGz…

Any graphic designers want a quick Sunday morning job? I’m trying to design a logo but my brain is all like “get lost”.

What’s with people only sharing things that reaffirm their worldview? [Article: The iPhone 6 Plus Changed My Brain!] t.co/vYrLBwKh0…

My Google Calendar has access to the smartest and best tech on the planet. But still feels the need to remind me of my impending birthday.

Regram: @signsofwear. I didn’t understand @hellobrittanyjane obsession with plants at fi… t.co/txDHUIbZt… t.co/OjqQnW6YI…

My friend told me that all females are the same but he always makes broad generalisations. t.co/JlwcWiof9…

#StevieWithers #catsofinstagram #cat #cats t.co/0JTtZHZbG… t.co/MefNoCgfa…

Probably the best part about having a cat as a pet is when you call it’s name, and it just looks at you, wishing you’d go away.

Geoffrey + Janette #marriedbyjosh - and in a world first for my famed #celebrantselfie t… t.co/FPy1CvLcy… t.co/k4K5HXElI…

Cleaning out the office and found these. Don’t want to throw them out. Do you think they… t.co/AHJR9155T… t.co/ZJgA3Pl3r…

Hey ‘Murcia, can your Police stop killing black people for a few minutes so some Christmas cheer can leak into my Facebook feed.

Life Pro Tip: MacBook users, hover your mouse over any word and tap three fingers on the trackpad to see the definition (via Reddit)

Any recent articles on “things to plug into your TV” I’m out of step with TV tech /cc @MolksTVTalk @trevorlong

What’s the Instagram filter that makes you look really sexy without doing your hair or losing weight? Asking for a friend.

It’s like the NBN was made purely for Netflix and Hulu.

Joe Hockey: don’t let Santa down t.co/4YSfTnBXl… t.co/1GqUHwK2m…

Yo B*TCH. Get on YB, NOW. My username is WITHERS. Download here: t.co/eT6ruTely…

Ho, to the power of three #merrychristmas t.co/5hCKBu663… t.co/UKipKwN0e…

So I still feel weird but awesome when I read what other people have to say about what I do, … t.co/mrEC8zlv0… t.co/YoUQvMpIG…

Our old wireless router is slower than the Internet connection #NBNpeopleproblems

You might think I’m a successful person but I still can’t get the ‘ohh’ at the right time in the bridge of Faith No More’s Easy.

Taxi driver trying to convince you to use him and not Uber #awkward

Every now and then I look back on our own wedding vows … makes me feel so amazingly blessed… t.co/Zfo9xX9rX… t.co/u32SYlMlk…

Good to see #NBN on @iiNet doesn’t change this status quo. 2/2

Over the past 16 years I have started new tel communication connections with almost every telco and it never ‘just works’. 1/2

I wrote this post 1 year ago, and it’s still good: 3 things you’ll find at a boring wedding t.co/hE1xhIg4u… t.co/fMil3Nh8V…

So proud of @hellobrittanyjane who poured her heart into this shoot- along with some of … t.co/MliAa4ZJ2… t.co/7RePSsPQx…

Listening to @612brisbane of course

Photo of me enjoying @BarackObama’s ‘Brisbane speech’ t.co/bT9Wc9p6O…

If I had to try and describe exactly what I do all day, it would be “make the little red circle push notifications go away”.

If I had a hobby it would be editing how my website appears in Google. t.co/kZkhXVJVl…

New @replyall #podcast: how homosexuality and Henry Ford invented the popup ad t.co/uAYsTzGEp…

Proud day #qantaslyf t.co/gw4w5nuKe…

“They’ve catnapped me!!” she screams over and over #movinghouse t.co/3VEB3bYsH… t.co/vrCqeyjzs…

Thank you t.co/uokp5lHZF…

Report: More Americans Setting Aside Money In Case Of PR Emergency | The Onion t.co/HA57c06fR…

We’ve moved house that much this year that our removalist has my number stored in his phone and answers “Hi Josh” #VIPclient

So there’s at least a bazillion NBN plans - anyone got a suggestion for a pure internet, 100mbps, big data plan?

The web dev guys behind the PayPal for business website are most certainly on crack.

Don’t mess with me on Gumtree t.co/FMOdl5N29…

So I probably need a few minutes away from keyboard.

I dreamt last night that although our new house is in an NBN area, our house was the only one on the block that didn’t have the NBN.

Any vinyl collecting peeps after a 4x4 IKEA Expedit White shelving? It’s the cancelled line. Still in box un-packed. Make us an offer.

“I assumed all the storm troopers were black because no one cared when they got shot.” @JakeCurrie

I know I’m in the minority here, but I think Mr Sheffield should have ended up with Miss Babcock.

#Swap #ForSale #GoldCoast Swap filing cabinet converted into kitchen cabinet for unicorn t.co/hhFKd9H62…

#ForSale #GoldCoast Game of Thrones-suitable TV cabinet to hold majestic television t.co/fuhvneVli…

#ForSale #GoldCoast Cultural Exercise for Make Benefit Glorious Nation Treadmill t.co/dXSokQrRa…

#ForSale #GoldCoast Set of three buffet sidetables - the best 3 in the known universe t.co/taQg8RTQs…

#ForSale #GoldCoast Cute corner table cube thing with drawers #totesawesome t.co/lbkrE9vDd…

Samsara Moroccan Camel Sled turned into a coffee table, wut?! t.co/VuxPozboI…

#ForSale #GoldCoast World class family meal eating dining room table for six t.co/kQXOq5UZ3…

#ForSale #GoldCoast Hide things in your home in this wooden sideboard buffet cabinet! t.co/w9nMtDxZB…

Cultural Exercise for Make Benefit Glorious Nation Treadmill t.co/dXSokQrRa…

Three bum holding timber wicker stools t.co/yf8q7ZTUK…

Game of Thrones-suitable TV cabinet to hold majestic television t.co/fuhvneVli…

Set of three buffet sidetables - the best 3 in the known universe t.co/taQg8RTQs…

Cute corner table cube thing with drawers #totesawesome t.co/lbkrE9vDd…

Samsara Moroccan Camel Sled turned into a coffee table, wut?! t.co/VuxPozboI…

World class family meal eating dining room table for six t.co/kQXOq5UZ3…

Hide things in your home in this wooden sideboard buffet cabinet! t.co/w9nMtDxZB…

I just made the most exciting Google search I’ve ever made t.co/xns3d6eba…

The car industry has “sold” itself into a corner that is dark &amp; dingey. Youngins already knew it but it’s great to watch my FIL realise it,

Dear car industry, my father-in-law is reading every blog he can find for reviews of the Mazda6 so he can make a decision without a salesman

Tim on the suggestion from Paula that he remember and recite his own vows “No way, I’m not Nelson Mandela!” #MrAndMrsCorbett

And finally - a plug for a little thing I run: t.co/INKhkKlmY… t.co/CxWaSUkw9… t.co/HKCDbBCln…

And even better to read her writing in the mag! t.co/u4YsFblkB… t.co/3ztcQKgH4…

The best! So good to have @hellobrittanyjane standing next to me in an ad! t.co/u0UWqtHRQ… t.co/I09aMBBXZ…

New issue of @whitemagazine! Nothing better to read over a morning coffee at #featherand… t.co/lVzMqxi2G… t.co/TPR1paAxW…

Out of the ten million to-do apps for the iPhone - what do you use and why? I’ve bought so many, and then, have not-used the same quantity.

I’ve been trying to think of a joke about the @hilltophoods song ‘Cosby Sweater’ with @BillCosby but there’s nothing funny about rape.

I was honoured to be a part of James &amp; Liliana’s #fawkenwedding yesterday. @kristina_chi… t.co/9z5cHH5Zu… t.co/K1IRy2MWZ…

It’d be great to see them all come into being.

I seriously want a team of app developers to just be at my beck and call. I have (what I believe to be) amazing ideas every day.

One year full-time self-employed today t.co/mQxSUMhqC…

Changing home address soon t.co/0Y0dHzCye…

I need to buy head lice treatment for an 8yo, and I’ve been told “no natural stuff, get chemicals” … any tips? t.co/vCmLJC4z0…

Why Millenials aren’t buying cars (it’s Uber &amp; Airbnb’s fault) t.co/2gIHNoeKz…

It’s time to treat push notifications as sacred t.co/l123uxZIm…

Jurassic Park 4, Star Wars 7, Independence Day 2, Dumb and Dumber 3, Fast and the Furious 10,006. We have no more ideas for films.

#fawkenwedding #celebrantselfie #marriedbyjosh t.co/VvklzmWgs… t.co/bn6cA2sMf…

James and Liliana came home from Paris to get #marriedbyjosh at the @bris_powerhouse tod… t.co/I27iOl13u… t.co/EZpPVV5vZ…

I couldn’t help myself, I had to get a new @twoguysbowties #bow tie for #TheFawkenWeddin… t.co/u5Z1FwKHL… t.co/it50B4F1W…

Puns banned in China. Chinese puns retaliate by starting a pun tribute band. t.co/LWtqNbbtf…

Like it was making him mad … t.co/Yo4PklKjO…

Bye bye bye (blog comments) t.co/L7onw2h1i… t.co/c94FBdgwb…

I’m turning off blog comments, and turning on a social network t.co/nks8sVCCm…

It’s the little things hey.

I don’t even care how good your weekend is, I just saw a non-indicating temporary citizen get snapped by a radar going at least 140km/he.

Simply accept the new light saber you will.

It’s so exciting that we’re probably only months away from a photo of PM @JulieBishopMP and Pres. @HillaryClinton having a girls weekend.

Cakes are getting personal! Check out John and Kristy’s from yesterday #weddingcake t.co/utROmg5Le… t.co/eQdelvDCp…

Gerard + Peta #marriedbyjosh t.co/54SEQSIvJ… t.co/suYNry2Ms…

Gerard + Peta #marriedbyjosh t.co/54SEQSIvJ… t.co/y0eyg4bRg…

Six guests, two bottles of champagne, a bride, groom, photographer and a celebrant. Gera… t.co/CTvmxl7I2… t.co/aVPs8MtXL…

Queensland, apocalyptic one day, beautiful the next t.co/DhuoSn8aH… t.co/N0xh8bh0E…

It gets really good about 45 minutes in

Asimply amazing and insightful hour long Shia LaBeouf interview t.co/qXkPbRFYT…

Plot twist: Jurassic Park 4 and Independence Day 2 is the same movie and the dinosaurs are actually aliens.

Brisbane looks like a war zone.

Un-Lightspace, fluoro sign, post #bnestorm t.co/ensYmGfOQ…

This week’s obsession is a podcast about starting a podcast company - aka @abexlumberg’s awesome podcast network story: @podcaststartup

Has anyone figured out who backpack guy at Fortitude Valley Station is yet? t.co/JPUVRJCJa…

Full list of things affected by #bnestorm: everything dot com

Dear all Brisbane breakfast radio people, please dedicate tomorrow’s show to finding out this guy’s story #bnestorm t.co/q6QFTgAN0…

My favourite guy from #bnestorm is the backpack guy just waiting for a train at Fortitude Valley Station #neverforget t.co/jDSAsROHH…

Bin #neverforget #bnestorm t.co/wIpcWA7hB…

Storm life #bnestorm - audio required @ Lightspace Brisbane t.co/yNZ1ydarf…

#BNEstorm2711 #NeverForget

Positive reports coming out of #bnestorm that some #citycycle bikes saw some action (pic by @liam_renton) t.co/A6AUsxKPQ…

I doubt many trains are running North of the Valley #bnestorm @QueenslandRail t.co/qTBBbiTzi…

Lots of this stuff on a tin roof = apocalypse #bnestorm t.co/ML4eFP8cZ… t.co/TrNMD4GRg…

Facebook video of the hailstorm hitting @lightspacevenue #bnestorm t.co/kQpnKFUe0…

OMFG #bnestorm

Storm cometh #bnestorm t.co/mFlU6kBeM… t.co/TNZV1GSXX…

If this celebrant thing doesn’t work out I think I’d like to start a Queen tribute band called Queenslander Rhapsody.

Mr and Mrs Papageorgiou! #marriedbyjosh at #canyonlookout #springbrook t.co/H9YvRtP1F… t.co/NIGsAZu4m…

Today’s office is pretty spectacular t.co/zXwUKNd4E… t.co/mxef9kkwa…

Even though you own your own comet …

Can’t wait for that tweet to make it around Cannon Hill

It’s often hard to know if 4BC is parodying itself on Twitter t.co/UpI4yuzjS…

Cutest damn thing keeping me awake tonight t.co/nkalSOBYs… t.co/YbFqUf80W…

A guide for celebrants that want to be rockin' t.co/hEDBsmLz8… t.co/t9iutqdjF…

How to be a rockstar wedding celebrant, a quick&amp; simple guide t.co/DL30EKt6T…

Is there a plan I can just mail this pile of business cards and they send me back a file I can import into my contacts app?

Featured on a UK blog: trying to convince Scots to get married on a Gold Coast beach t.co/uWDNbgad3… t.co/09ArBZusY…

You're going to love James and Amy's wedding photos by Prue Franzmann t.co/nVJ8hB3Ym…

Weddings are happy - but let’s make certain that yours is as well t.co/JhdOCygRs… t.co/Oo287TPhK…

My back is famous on Uber t.co/XFetBeW8c…

Recipe for a finger linkin' good wedding t.co/MNWyEwyNY… t.co/hpAswmt2x…

This SEO report thing tells me my website is the 34,335th most visited website in Australia. Take that, Tony Abbott’s Facebook page.

Heath and Alicia are new to town, but not new to photography, let me introduce you t.co/V3xDKsaKX… t.co/DMJWn6jYQ…

Heath and Alicia are new to town, but not new to photography, let me introduce you t.co/XTkfD25Nm… t.co/vpRMtpSr5…

Im going to start a book club where we talk about all of the books we bought at that cute bookstore in DC but haven’t touched since.

Coke’s new premium milk to ‘rain money’ t.co/BWjAs5kmz…

“It’s the bride’s day” myth debunked t.co/GSuUWxnGV… t.co/t4DDe98gW…

The catchphrase of 2015 will no doubt be ‘my watch has crashed’ t.co/EM71OaFpM…

Humble brag with holiday photos t.co/9JcZFVcKw… t.co/Mj8mf8QSz…

Business idea: a shopping centre without annoying people. We’ll call it Westfield Heights.

A short and sweet guide on how to stand in a wedding ceremony - don’t sweat the small stuff t.co/bsqxEznlq… t.co/yKRNxOqsM…

We went to heaven and held James and Amy’s wedding there - see the pics :) t.co/zu03khVsS…

“I found you on Reddit” - probably the best thing I’ve ever heard a groom say

Thanks for the love and the interview, 2GB and Andrew Moore and Catablog! t.co/pHmMuzqcO… t.co/wWLNE7b84…

I’m getting a bit preachy here, sorry, not sorry. t.co/4dSvB0eiQ… t.co/BdlGGlFYr…

If this was comedy it would be funny, but it’s not, and it’s really sad t.co/XzdhG0QiN…

If you were thinking about inviting me into your wedding day - you best read this warning t.co/viAt40DmZ…

Tell me Chris and Jade’s Moda wedding wasn’t amazing. Come on, I dare you. t.co/rfbfT6aRW…

Dear all wedding venues: please do this one thing to help us all out! (Please share with your wedding venue!) t.co/iS0dBsg7o…

She who floats my boat #marriedtobritt t.co/TwGdMYDfC… t.co/562Y5dtx3…

Wow

Michael + @hayleypicoto #marriedbyjosh and photographed by @andrewtallon at #Casuar… t.co/iDesSGFcy… t.co/GF87RDZvJ…

How to prevent being unhappy on your wedding day. By a guy that likes to make people happy (that’s me) t.co/tC3finC5i…

The 11 herbs and spices that make a finger lickin' good wedding t.co/Ibfa9fUSx…

Which side does the bride and groom stand on? Answering all the big questions on the wedding blog :) t.co/yWYYMUHkf…

The best thing to happen in TV this year t.co/59bsZggSK…

Life update: I can’t figure out how to get an NYC domain name registered in my name. That’s all. Move along now.

A must read for anyone not marrying their brother or sister t.co/5CXaL4H8r…

Weddings aren’t about style, they’re about people. And sometimes people have sweet style. t.co/TLJTiDFwF… t.co/5FkPL7TXg…

A guest post by Annabel: Let’s talk about (marriage) sex and why you’re not getting any t.co/qnJFr6XB6…

Happy first wedding anniversary to Ant &amp; @jaacs!

#marriedbyjosh on #SaltBeach and they … t.co/15faeDg7Y… t.co/vVUu0QaDe…

Why I love pop-up weddings!!! (Have I mentioned there is one coming up on the Gold Coast soon?!) t.co/mpH7fxnvG…

Marketing advice: Make unexpectedly big promises. Keep them. Show up with enough resources to do both. t.co/lQV1txSgF…

Heath and Alicia are wedding photogs new to town, let me introduce you to The Left Lane wedding photography t.co/7vvj6I7Dj…

Your “place to put gifts” isn’t as cool as Jarrod and Renee’s! t.co/aQVKIM7Ff… t.co/JGdasaLun…

I looked at this rack and felt instantly stupider t.co/tEp6B9sei… t.co/gVGLKX8wt…

Mr and Mrs Pryde #marriedbyjosh!! Worked with the dream team of @kymmi_o_ @briandjdavis … t.co/NpZgcgxsb… t.co/JUtJhqzdK…

My Sydney brides and grooms need to read this interview with Amy from the Significant Space t.co/IduobaZWa…

I bet you wish you had a job that involves following cut guideposts along a road t.co/yMi15fK87… t.co/NNxBD1xtq…

Introducing, The Picotos! @Hayley_Wilson &amp; Michael #marriedbyjosh at #Osteria at #Casuarina t.co/bViHk2IMR…

This is a tricky one: joint bank accounts - yay or nay? t.co/eeA9x7QkM…

It’s not only the bride’s day - it’s the grooms day as well! t.co/GxAkaYhGw…

Have you been to confession for your seven deadly wedding sins yet? t.co/YXCKlfaZj…

I wrote down a quick list of three things that are really important to me in the wedding world, did I miss anything? t.co/L0BY8Gg34…

How lucky am I?! I get to have breakfast with @hellobrittanyjane, she’s a bit of a cutie! t.co/t9KELGliq… t.co/K9dPJcwIw…

Christmas presents for children in detention #lol #sosad #TheSaturdayPaper t.co/TBLRVjKVE… t.co/AaAIoOnXv…

Who do you think Charles Manson’s fiancé’s choices for snog and avoid were?

In the next 5-10 years I imagine that we’ll be fundraising to send selfie sticks to kids that have to selfie with their own arms.

How to create a sophisticatingly simple wedding ceremony t.co/ChEIli3ps…

“Until I started reading your blog, the entire saga [of getting married] seemed more like a punishment than a party” - Michelle :D

Thinking about #NYC … can’t wait to be back there next year! Also can’t wait to see ou… t.co/E670DFNlc… t.co/jREGsbiUh…

Lauren and Dre unknowingly emailed me my job-description. Love this! t.co/Tn5TkVdgB…

We fought the Samford Valley heatwave today to see Alan and Ann get #marriedbyjosh!

Met… t.co/IPIfMUadr… t.co/LB6rwH9W8…

It’s pretty cool looking back on these old videos: that time we were on Seven News in Perth! t.co/IoxRJX1Po…

These little ditties just set my heart on fire! Thanks @amylsummerville &amp; James! t.co/lu3Kh9Q1b… t.co/m5SKXuKKF…

Learn why Andy and Meredith invited me to their wedding at Old Government House t.co/HirJjK27x…

This is comedy. Awesome hilarious wedding comedy. t.co/NvRGAyMJs…

Remember this for a super awesome marriage (and a pretty good wedding too) t.co/rZ1WMHMu7…

A few quick Josh-tips on how to be a rockin wedding guest t.co/Z7ERE8nwZ…

You’re invited to our holiday slide night t.co/UjHcrmjKl…

You probably think this blog post is about you (if you’ve been wondering how to stand in a ceremony) t.co/GM6MMSJye…

A non-overly-sappy couple got married at Stanthorpe, check out Ant and Sally’s story on the blog now t.co/BEUHfjRmR…

My web hosting has been down for 46min &amp; counting. If u can guess exactly how many mins it will be down for you’ll win a sad face from me.

If you love me (and this photo of Britt) you’d click the link &amp; vote for ma sexy photo PLEASE! t.co/2juyyRHNR… t.co/q2JxsRlqX…

What’s love got to do, got to do with it? (The ‘it’ is marriage…) t.co/gd4dxxdz2…

I’m running a meaningful business - hopefully that’s something that sets me apart (that &amp; this pic from Tricia King) t.co/Uw6vD0NDn…

WOOHOO! My iPhone photo of @hellobrittanyjane at #PuertoRico is a finalist in the @pedes… t.co/wCU6vlGE8… t.co/LVpX1o7mH…

Please vote for my photo of Britt in #PuertoRico in the @pedestriandaily photo awards! :) t.co/QMO0ajDuu… t.co/oIgTmrbm8…

If you’re going to forget things, forget these (wedding tradition) things t.co/hsMzZA0wb…

TV channel idea: 24/7 rolling coverage of toddlers dancing to pop songs filmed by their mothers. This could be amazing.

I can’t myself a journalist - but this blog post applies to me, and more so, it applies to my friends and my wife t.co/XLsvSi8rw…

I wrote a thing about my first year full-time in the wedding business - on LinkedIn t.co/bPpbfcmPr…

These two are some of my favourites! Love the pics by Alcorn as well t.co/jcZ7kXUpj…

Whoa there, tiny dancer, whooaa. Too close.

Who are my web app developers on Twitter?

Is it Tuesday?

Just spent the whole shower trying to figure out which day it is. Which is probably the best way to describe self-employment.

The secret to everything I do t.co/1ac2q0qSQ…

My blog chosen as blog of the week, what an honour! Thanks 2GB &amp; Catablog! t.co/DJx7lr2tZ…

Weddings used to be really frikking weird, reveals Jen Doll on my blog today t.co/x5BLOQdTN…

It’s a bit bloody freaky when @magicpixx actually gets the exact right image for a tweet - like the actual Dan &amp; Kate t.co/sWdmMIcD1…

Kate and Dan’s sparkly wedding celebrant celebration at Hillstone St Lucia - check it! t.co/shaMsg8cI…

“He’s just a fan that’s going a little too far, it’s becoming like that song Stan by Eminem.” said coal t.co/jF5fxy0a3…

Hard drive has gone soft :( t.co/50KnhjAtu…

Can’t believe they’re playing Christmas music on eBay already.

It’s Official: Netflix To Launch In Australia And New Zealand In March 2015 t.co/BkoRlgSvd…

I feel like there needs to be a feature comedy film about all of the stupid things Microsoft has done. Starring Jen Anniston &amp; Seinfeld.

Good Gumtree copy goes a long way - my over priced bookshelf will sell to 1 of the ppl making offers tomorrow morn :) t.co/FHrvgCCVt…

Airbus looks to UFO for better plane designs t.co/tKIEZxRi9…

Can I tell you a secret? Whenever I talk about marriage in a ceremony, I’m thinking of h… t.co/H8UZrTzm2… t.co/IeKEL2sv2…

The people at the Powerhouse tell me that taking a photo in front of this graffiti gets … t.co/PYEPOQUNf… t.co/mh6QWcvvs…

Fish + Chips + Seagulls + Burleigh + Love t.co/tVOCycHo5… t.co/9RKhTAshb…

The people at the Powerhouse tell me that taking a photo in front of this graffiti gets you a lawyer’s letter … t.co/w7LxZ73Y1…

“Tomorrow is often the busiest day of the year.” - Spanish Proverb

“This dead tree has been artfully arranged to create a really sexy bookshelf - the Leonardo DiCaprio of bookshelves” t.co/FHrvgCCVt…

I pretty much hate having my photo taken, but somehow I end up on camera regularly. Love… t.co/RYeYUTWCv… t.co/jEVRsFlWl…

Amelia Earhart’s letter to her fiance “You must know again my reluctance to marry” t.co/ezjY79eVg…

Don’t act like you don’t highly desire to buy this shelf

t.co/mwyc7vfeN… t.co/cFCtywfI4… t.co/r5lOIFGdr…

New profile pic day! Thanks @leftlanephotographs! t.co/2VNXv4jcQ… t.co/4f2H3NA8G…

I’ve got some new sexy profile pics thanks to Heath and Alicia at @theleftlane_au t.co/6TmvFM1fT… t.co/rTQwnL8mU…

Anyone rocking a really big monitor on their computer? High resolution? Just want a screenshot of the front page of t.co/7uT5YmTnp…

Only a few days left for everyone to and from your wedding for free with Uber! Free ride promo code inside! t.co/8Zh6xoBvT…

What would I say if I had all of my social media, blog, email brides and grooms in the one room? t.co/4q7EMd4Bx…

I’m not procrastinating. I’m searching the internet for just the right folder icon to put my course documents in before I start. Gosh.

So it’s probably a bit late for you to support @benabrahammusic’s @Pozible - but you can probs get his 1st album at t.co/gQ0Jr64Nr…

2yrs ago a bunch of people though @benabrahammusic could record a sweet album, so we threw money into his @Pozible. Today we listen &amp; enjoy.

I wrote a little article for F* Yeah Gay Weddings on: Creating your own wedding traditions t.co/6Tpe56G3N…

In other news, I think “F* Yeah Gay Weddings is the coolest name for a wedding blog @FYgayweddings.

I wrote a little piece for @FYgayweddings on creating new and personal wedding traditions, gay or straight t.co/NiZ608aND…

Just had an a great chat with the #G20’s florist - so many cool, and classified, stories!

Aww thanks peeps! And thanks to #WOMO too! t.co/UuPjnEwkj… t.co/QOlXRpQVQ…

Chicks, eh? t.co/aHogwctVB…

Hey @Qantas - this chick is really annoying. Even a little close or x button would suffice :) t.co/0tKG7zOcf…

Can’t wait until the year 2060 where we’ll all be listening to Classic Dubstop AM radio stations.

Can anyone recommend an iPhone app that allows you do crop images to actual pixel sizes, like 100x100px?

Made a new friend at Lawrence &amp; Mel’s wedding today t.co/wYR9lrLHj… t.co/gjmFYOrAc…

Britt and I are now available for modelling work or any criminal activity. t.co/9VCwo1hsU… t.co/yXPVIFxSZ…

Abbott and Putin take on the dropbears #g20 t.co/utXkXdWOc…

When best friends marry! Lawerence + Mel #marriedbyjosh on #MountTamborine t.co/bDWoNkyuf… t.co/Bg63Ypqzj…

I thought you might like this from The AWL: The Eight Truths About Weddings (That No One Ever Tells You) t.co/h87T83XSN…

The Cult of Busy t.co/1R9eNMT3F…

A meaningful wedding business t.co/3Go5hVHGU…

Check out Tim Coulson’s photos from Chris and Jade’s wedding at Moda t.co/KaVh7zBc0… t.co/WGmtHYjUv…

The spectacular @mattokine, everybody! t.co/s51DOywyR… t.co/SueiVtLRY…

Suspecting that tonight could be a surprise wedding, Raoul’s groomsman enquired of the f… t.co/Wv5Ye0cxK… t.co/YsSrIdHVG…

Chris and Jade’s fancy, foodie, fun, family wedding t.co/KSTsjssa1…

PM Abbott could have guaranteed a long rein in Australia if he opened the #G20 with a serious warning on the dangers of drop bears.

The Clem7 has apparently receive an upgrade t.co/4O8kImWVE… t.co/8jenOGkzs…

I’m no @karlstefanovic but I wear the same suit a lot as well #celebrantlyf

Cameron and Racquel #marriedbyjosh! t.co/LNnsC4h7u… t.co/8yQUotWe5…

Having heard the leader of the USA speak, on the same day and the leader of Australia speak, I literally can’t #G20

Pretty much the only thing Australia can do now is just wave a white flag and hand Obama the keys to Kirribilli #G20

I’m pretty sure @BarackObama just held a public intervention with @TonyAbbottMHR #G20

Ummm, did @BarackObama just shirtfront Putin? #G20

Listening to Obama speak makes you wish Australia could be lead by a statesman, not an embarrassment #G20

What time does Captain Planet arrive for the #G20?

A quick request for every single wedding venue on the planet t.co/SqFpE1Qke… t.co/JNiaqMRgZ…

Rich + Jacqui #marriedbyjosh at #theabbeycobaki t.co/z73Qf84U4… t.co/VnsmRGBwI…

Tissues. My reputation proceeds me? 😂😪😢😓😤😭 t.co/zLm6xi64g… t.co/k3zQs1hjw…

There’s a new blog post on my website (link in bio) that every single #weddingvenue need… t.co/uIg3156ok… t.co/T17frfQee…

Attention all wedding venues: please do this one thing, it’ll really help us out! t.co/CBTHS3C8C…

Next #ValentinesDay is one of the only available Saturdays I have next year - I think I … t.co/k2AaNe2Wp… t.co/W9dHNMDVX…

Chris + Di #marriedbyjosh photographed by @storiesbyash at @spicersclovellyestate and fe… t.co/NAJphhHgv… t.co/cg0wdMWrW…

Julia + Travis #marriedbyjosh at #boomerangfarm t.co/DQggDJxPE… t.co/wOQI5KNIq…

Life would be easier if just had the voice control button replaced with a ‘Call Britt’ button.

I’ve got a state of the art voice control system in my car and the only thing I do is argue with it about trying to call Brittany.

Today’s office #marriedbyjosh t.co/eWYD3aaNG… t.co/jG4eIJIno…

Pen emergency #celebrantlife

Finally @KimKardashian and @TonyAbbottMHR are working together on a project: #BreakTheInternet

#Vespa lovers, Chris + Di #marriedbyjosh, photographed by @storiesbyash at @ClovellyEstate t.co/YLu2tRZqb… t.co/7fD1weyNe…

“Everybody’s trying to leave their mark on the world. That’s why there’s graffiti and babies.” - Kristen Schaal

It really doesn’t matter what I’ve got: this is what it’s all about, two kids in love! T… t.co/XdU4srSQR… t.co/2wq4K1oVa…

Let me introduce you to a friend of mine that makes iPhone wedding films! t.co/2KMeukxVA… t.co/GC4gFwkPp…

Seth Godin on the end of AM and FM #radio t.co/Viq1kZG2O…

This time last week we were doing this. I miss that beard … and holidays … and Ameri… t.co/7jHIqpdUS… t.co/QeCcHuZuv…

Things that Kim Kardashian and I have in common: same party tricks. t.co/d4mYy5WAu…

Walked past the Brisbane Marriott today, Obama’s sleeping there Saturday night. The White House looked less secure last week! #G20

Let me introduce you to a friend of mine that makes iPhone wedding films + she’s giving one away t.co/ec3qBj1UB…

Just received an email that had “Sent from Surface Pro” at the bottom of it. Is this a new joke that I missed out on whilst in the states?

Instagram advice: did you know that if you click the three dots beneath your pic you can… t.co/k8U3UxC3P… t.co/9sbtJe4u2…

The best thing about #TheTalkShow is where @gruber tells @siracusa “let’s wrap up on this” and Overcast says there’s 40 minutes left.

Post wedding awesome! #marriedbyjosh and photo by #timcoulson t.co/ZnVJwPL7V… t.co/0q1ClkMdS…

Post wedding excitement! Chris + Jade #marriedbyjosh t.co/xAN8DTo0z… t.co/yz9Iviz2u…

“First of all, a huge thank you for making our wedding day possible! Sorry it has taken … t.co/mgmCCpxcW… t.co/46yw13TgV…

How good is this!? Amy + Giles #marriedbyjosh at the @popupwed at @summergroveestate - p… t.co/diGnY78C1… t.co/7kS1hCtjF…

Is anyone doing a #RedFooFacts Twitter joke thing yet? Anyone? @RedFoo?

Still crying about #Ikea cancelling the vinyl-record-loving Expedit shelving? @FakeAshPunch is moving house &amp; selling t.co/V0e2Sbf3y…

Make an offer to @FakeAshPunch

54″ Samsung rear-projection TV with Nintendo 64 for sale in Broadbeach Waters, send this straight to the pool room t.co/sZZfNW9K8…

Pretty cool to see @MolksTVTalk as the byline on an article at @thehoopla t.co/m8B1iDCYc…

Post holiday blues: Trying to empty my “Business to be attended to” email folder. Only matched by the joy that is my “For Quickbooks” folder

Thanks Siri, just sitting there on the table listening to our conversation, assuming we were talking to you t.co/sq3GKZzWN…

Can I introduce you to the Carrs?! Also introducing my sweet photography skillz! #marrie… t.co/cpPtDGTMz… t.co/S2xPPLy1m…

Which side for the groom, which side for the bride, everything you could want to know about it t.co/HKsDSROG7… t.co/G4SZNyVYc…

Is this what they mean when they say “all in a day’s work”?

Fly from LA to Sydney, Sydney to Brisbane, drive Brisbane to Gold Coast, perform two ceremonies, and stay for the second’s reception.

Everything you could ever desire to know about why a bride and groom stand on a particular side t.co/ehefwaH0g…

Let me introduce you to the Paynes! #marriedbyjosh at #boomerangfarm t.co/zkai0Emaj… t.co/i8fjd9T7S…

So Skycam is pretty cool on the @Qantas A380 t.co/PDk71eIly…

Looking forward to getting home so I can pin bad wireless internet service on @Telstra instead of free airport and cafe WiFi.

America, you’ve been good to us. A little too good with this unscheduled extra day in LA. See you in 21 hours. Australia!

All the leaves are brown and the sky is gray. I’ve been for a walk on a winter’s day. We… t.co/M0zIAuhYW… t.co/6xK1Ya1C3…

Damn you @DanAndMaz!!! t.co/cETQD4RDp…

The title of the next, next #StarWars movie has been released: Star Wars: The Force Is Grabbing A Late Brunch Today.

A whole store dedicated to Cinabons. It’s like the Apple Store of happiness. t.co/KhAJqziKt… t.co/oOjQ7UWd5…

Sorry, beard, you just weren’t cool enough :( t.co/tC7dT0KTa… t.co/9ZhsuVQ3S…

Smexi - Moto360 Android Wear watch t.co/BfpVPk81y… t.co/M21QzPhn0…

So LA’s pretty cool

And we’re done taking USA. Onwards to #BWI, then #DFW, to #SYD and home via #BNE #wither… t.co/SdTT3XZuM… t.co/FescvA9Wz…

For a news and media junkie like me, the @Newseum is a pretty frikkin spectacular visit … t.co/btV016ms4… t.co/hYuV58TyS…

We made it to the @Newseum! Taking the obligatory #NFAselfie t.co/UVM99ydhr…

The Withers take The House Of Cards #witherstakeusa #washingtondc #flipagram ♫ Music: Jeff Beal -… t.co/hgBY6l9mh…

Weddings are happy - but let’s make certain that yours is as well t.co/ujtfZvXZx… t.co/m0J0UoyLq…

Why are weddings happy? And how can you make sure yours is? t.co/L2TQWxaiX…

Went past the Women’s Museum in Washington DC. Seems a bit pointless, women don’t ever forget anything. They need a men’s museum.

“I wish there was a way for me to pay to re-watch the show that I finished watching last yr” - potential customers of t.co/wdcjf1wOz…

I found @steelesaunders' hometown. And you said you were Victorian … t.co/IFlGjbIKJ… t.co/IHefrkgzf…

How much kale do I need to eat to offset a pumpkin spice latte from Starbucks? Asking for a friend.

It’s pretty embarrassing that Microsoft and Google’s health-wearables beat Apple to mark… t.co/Ypmf9eyQl… t.co/8tXYMqmiN…

It’s pretty embarrassing that Microsoft and Google’s health-wearables beat Apple to mark… t.co/KqBIt9yUA… t.co/0rRxuwzFn…

This is our “Segways for Christmas please!” pose #witherstakeusa t.co/kAuvlU5GU… t.co/QCTicHznc…

I’m havjng far too much fun in DC.

Haven’t shaved in three weeks - still no face beard, only neck beard. Damn you DNA! #wit… t.co/1PeYb35nC… t.co/cbHq0Xfke…

This guy! #witherstakeusa t.co/m00HcONmE… t.co/JSAEHiB0H…

We found the @CourierMail out the front of the #Newseum. Who’d ever imagine me reading the Courier Mail on a #Segway? t.co/WdS3iwPYF…

I put $10 on this filly today. Won big time #melbournecup t.co/pXHRbKHSl… t.co/B2LaJo6p3…

We visited the Holocaust museum today and I’ve got thousands of thoughts going through m… t.co/qvgpNPJKC… t.co/eWhevf8Sv…

Phalic monument #witherstakeusa t.co/At7srUEAl… t.co/AXmsmJ7OK…

Considering booking Josh as a celebrant? Take heed of this warning! t.co/jxfcladsG… t.co/R5PJk17Uo…

Considering booking Josh as a celebrant? Take heed of this warning! t.co/eA3DfFyD7… t.co/iCBk1ACsR…

Serious White House selfie t.co/lRdhuwqkQ… t.co/LMSwQeLr8…

Super massive congrats to @philrogg &amp; @bekgrace_ of @heartandcolour!!! t.co/08BZidy6G… t.co/RdBOQ7oz3…

Considering booking Josh as a celebrant? Take heed of this warning! t.co/eUXmz0fnN… t.co/2dhz0phKS…

Considering booking me? Take heed of this important warning! t.co/MbwLiMPzr…

Tour operator just showed off Kim Beazley’s house, one of three. A home for his servants, for him, &amp; for entertaining t.co/PYidYVCO2…

Say what you will about Jesus, the Catholics know/knew how to make awesome buildings #wi… t.co/fdIJAXNDV… t.co/GqUnkDLpF…

#witherstakeusa #washington #dupontcirestation t.co/MPzjI5ubU… t.co/EVLjqLX4f…

“This white man has a bigger penis than this white man” - Pretty much every advert on American TV this week #midtermelections

GrubHub isn’t perfect, but it’s easy to order food from and they’re honest. After all, they wrote this tweet. t.co/Myw6UeA3p…

Hello Washington DC!

I for one welcome our new #Flyfi overlord #JetBlue

There’s something awesome and scary about flying through turbulence at 753km per hour at 20,000 feet, watching #GOT whilst on Twitter.

Loving my new @fossil bag - a worthy travel companion #myfossil t.co/r0FUsP8dp… t.co/MkjpmfOhc…

The funniest but also the saddest thing on @Instagram today is @byefelipe #byefelipe #ti… t.co/8Ka6ZQf0V… t.co/QfOGZbtvv…

Puerto Rico is hot, muggy, and more full of Americans than New York.

I’ve just had a scroll through @paulbamford’s photos from the last pop-up wedding held i… t.co/Ir9r7lJFl… t.co/4KLJvmWsD…

The almighty dollar (spender) lol #witherstakeusa t.co/4iZ6ouO5D… t.co/uMBVtbeJr…

Beach resort cat #witherstakeusa t.co/yXhQHqMv9… t.co/HMDfW86Bk…

I’ve been playing with photography a lot while I’ve been on holidays, and I had this tho… t.co/XYq4jcja7… t.co/DjETYfPTN…

Requested the good seats for dinner tonight #witherstakeusa #PuertoRico #ConadoBeach #Ha… t.co/VXYVMAx2y… t.co/Eopr9eSqv…

#ConadoBeach #PuertoRico #witherstakeusa t.co/ip0i8taNo… t.co/1oTNAyzIN…

World’s biggest kitty litter tray #PuertoRico #CatsOfPuertoRico #catsofinstagram #cat #w… t.co/68pxlRbFw… t.co/cXt1YmIBA…

The Caribbean! #PuertoRico #witherstakeusa t.co/iKlIotcW6… t.co/w9OFm8dDM…

Ya know, for when a sexy baby gropes you t.co/FtZEUgfFv…

Britt and I are in Puerto Rico for Halloween this year, we’ve never really been anywhere… t.co/uajVFErh7… t.co/mcaH2Emf9…

Siesta #PuertoRico #OldSanJuan #witherstakeusa t.co/aNpfu0V1S… t.co/pVkigA9JQ…

That smile #PuertoRico #OldSanJuan #witherstakeusa t.co/XWWINyx5q… t.co/By4b5SLhK…

A Puerto Rican conversation t.co/VZTFnZT1M…

Our hotel doesn’t have the normal pool. Instead, four baths on the rooftop. Love it! t.co/Wi1HVq47B… t.co/EddLbJc2L…

I call this one ‘My Puerto Rican Wife’ #witherstakeusa t.co/tp9AQugIa… t.co/EIDNg2Z1T…

When lightning strikes a moment after the shutter opens #witherstakeusa t.co/C9jT8FPji… t.co/UHczns9tU…

Puerto Rico. Where the rum is cheaper than the soda and it’s at the checkout next to the… t.co/SdsxLpLI9… t.co/u2NGLBp1g…

With that in mind you might enjoy this confronting but empowering article Britt sent me today: t.co/kgW0BvFBa…

And for first marriages it’s even lower.

Did you know that the 50% of marriages don’t actually end in divorce. Recent research shows that it’s about 30%.

Can’t wait to try out @saddington’s new desktop publishing app - writer or blogger, you’ll like this t.co/razuY7u4l…

Britt in the ‘Casablanca #SanJuan #PuertoRico #witherstakeusa #HotelCasablanca t.co/QUZunPnpi… t.co/mYxymSCrt…

The Hotel Casablanca #SanJuan #PuertoRico #witherstakeusa #HotelCasablanca t.co/8uKp7oJr0… t.co/7G139RjgF…

#SanJuan #PuertoRico #witherstakeusa #yesPeurtoRicoIsTheUSA t.co/D7YT1dzvn… t.co/hnXLnph4C…

#SanJuan #PuertoRico #witherstakeusa #yesPeurtoRicoIsTheUSA t.co/clW1UPeb9… t.co/VQI90mWic…

There’s something awesomely liberating about being in a city where every sign is in Spanish. It’s like a lovely forced ignorance #PuertoRico

Call it over-exposure to pop culture, or just plain silliness, but whenever a local finishes a sentence my brain adds “Hey Macarena!”

WE’RE ON THE INTERNET FROM THE SKY! HELLO DOWN THERE! t.co/DhSVX2apU… t.co/lsaRF0oyT…

I’m on the Internet FROM THE SKY OMG! #flyfi #jetblue

JFK ✈ Puerto Rico!

These boots were made for walking around #NewYork- 112km this past week!! t.co/1rwKDtSQF… t.co/53sWBsNZk…

I ain’t afraid of no ghost! t.co/Vg0AWCqEl… t.co/CSJ5ZPg2H…

You may say he was a dreamer

#Imagine #JohnLennon #StrawberryFields #CentralPark t.co/NEEBXUetR… t.co/gKS6LGHZg…

Sought permission to purchase soup from the actual soup nazi. He said ‘soup for you’ and… t.co/Z51EwxX9i… t.co/sJpo2vAUy…

Strawberry Fields, a little corner of #CentralPark dedicated to #JohnLennon just near where he was… t.co/wGBBkKQw5…

Empire State #witherstakeusa t.co/sYbQ5xYzj… t.co/7cRnzecX5…

Bottom of the Rock #witherstakeusa #nyc #topoftherock t.co/nDuWOFAyX… t.co/sKb4xKCDT…

#CentralPark’s #LiteraryWalk with @hellobrittanyjane 😘 t.co/r3TyUpGXq… t.co/9PBfsdZ1C…

Met New York’s finest tonight as we reported our GoPro stolen 😢 #witherstakeusa #withers… t.co/p8mCCYNbb… t.co/YEZPkMrRE…

#TimesSquare #nyc #hwllskitchen #witherstakeusa t.co/FnJ3xCsE2… t.co/T0NWNDKUf…

Get your eggs #LES #nyc #witherstakeusa t.co/yzChNiVwK… t.co/O9ImFbve9…

Downtowwwnn #witherstakeusa t.co/Nhv5Ox7t0… t.co/wZHadr2Ae…

Isn’t she lovely? #witherstakeusa t.co/GrlnMHr0Y… t.co/oW0ZySFV9…

Thanks, France! #statueofliberty #witherstakeusa #nyc #statenislandferry t.co/WDj1UiJvE… t.co/rFgOudVEW…

My last day traversing around the Big Apple with this beautiful tour guide! We’re going … t.co/KxRNC0Y7u… t.co/m0UM5Plbv…

Tomorrow we’re off to Puerto Rico for three days then we hit DC, home Friday-week!

My last day traversing around the Big Apple with this beautiful tour guide! t.co/N5AkN1SP8…

Today we’re going to the Statue of Liberty, Central Park, Top of the Rock and ….

we’re going to drop in on @charlescory because I want to meet his boss (Gary Vaynerchuk!!!!)

#empirestatebuilding #witherstakeusa t.co/iIGpUCuH6… t.co/lx3BVRF7M…

#nyc #witherstakeusa t.co/WaBuhdcK8… t.co/MCtcTHllA…

#nyc #witherstakeusa t.co/eCRwgHX7k… t.co/JYPdnwZIP…

Totally watching CBS to watch the #Letterman show I’ve already seen taped.

Saw a @The_lateshow taping, @taylorswift13 &amp; I made eye contact. Best day t.co/o7hHLbLSn…

Sooo @taylorswift13 and I connected, like in the eyes, tonight at #thelateshow … do I need to leave Britt now?

No soup for us.' Mainly because we’d rather an ice-cream, so you have ice-creams? t.co/amwm3KjGu… t.co/Xr3AAs7q1…

I was on @2GB873 two weeks ago, thought I best share the podcast here: t.co/Q9NWf3o0g…

Tossing up the idea of going to the Letterman show this afternoon dressed as a sexy ebola nurse.

#nyc #witherstakeusa t.co/wHmUErnvm… t.co/EqqEBcgUP…

All day, everyday, subway t.co/rNOCX8O8y… t.co/XTheNrZt6…

We may look posh … t.co/rqU6jW1qj… t.co/jAQJx92EV…

This happens every few moments at New York City Hall t.co/PY4LfC7fE… t.co/YO8QXagZ2…

Warhol #moma #witherstakeusa t.co/aXg1Prse4… t.co/pHlJIt5jc…

Got soup? #moma #witherstakeusa #andywarhol t.co/Q6y34veoM… t.co/aRDl7pKNi…

#murica #moma #witherstakeusa t.co/trnS1ccAV… t.co/zTUErt8gK…

#NYC #witherstakeusa #weirdmonkguy t.co/sypxSnSoJ… t.co/foYS9a9mN…

#Letterman #witherstakeusa t.co/XBVGV3aZ7… t.co/v8Ju81GEU…

Today’s mission: Letterman, Fallon, Colbert or Stewart tickets. Please be kind standby ticket deity!

Brisbane peeps getting married, win a wedding film package from my friend Samantha Fletcher! t.co/X80JIsbih…

iPhone is charged. RT @MolksTVTalk: WiFi is working. RT @tiennevu: The Sexiest 3 Words a Man Can Say to a Woman t.co/VgqOHcbDn…

Dear, @Telstra. Sincerely yours, @joshuawithers. t.co/R4JEyKNeh… t.co/DJmR3h0bb…

#empirestatebuilding #witherstakeusa t.co/QPwuzsL7O… t.co/tOfEbFUz8…

Mixing traditions in marriage is nothing like mixing drinks at a bar … t.co/PtwOkB9Up… t.co/xeWgHCMQV…

Checked out the new Kindle at Best Buy - I’ve never thought of an e-ink tablet as sexy, but hey, first time for everything!

Mixing traditions in marriage is nothing like mixing drinks at a bar … t.co/JyyXP38Cm…

Doing my part, please spread the word #todayinnyc t.co/uZ9XeFq8h…

Almost died today. I wanted to bring these puppies home but Britt threatened my life if … t.co/2VikkShCs… t.co/e9G0VEQ8L…

SUGAREXPLOSIONOMG #dylanscandybar #witherstakeusa t.co/3TIW8CuaG… t.co/5IGPd2QZF…

#NYClyf #witherstakeusa t.co/lLfLHv87E… t.co/OuwA7i9IV…

Brunch means something totally else in #NYC #witherstakeusa #Brooklyn #AlicesArbor t.co/6tX4y4p0a… t.co/aGBYKeQoQ…

Credit goes to @KasturiShan who says that a situationship is a relationship without any emotional relationship.

New York term for being exclusive, but not in a relationship: situationship. The most passive aggressive of the ‘ships.

#Brooklyn #witherstakeusa t.co/M6CR54KdT… t.co/KMEbQQ2kc…

#subway #witherstakeusa t.co/W6CMZJEnJ… t.co/PdD2QLpJW…

Should’ve put a ring on it t.co/RYHocrJg6… t.co/9JWVMujDE…

No sleep til Brooklyn t.co/2w0X89QRe… t.co/CbBZt2I8q…

Think different #witherstakeusa t.co/M4QRmrZW8… t.co/FPga9bLkY…

I promised to love her at her worst #witherstakeusa t.co/0a01I8LwI… t.co/OhZnfDw4z…

Empire State Of Bridge t.co/J0px8xl66… t.co/fiuaD8qdo…

Today // @hellobrittanyjane + @lukejleasure + @hellomalloryanne t.co/aGuRly7tl… t.co/XX0aT9J6w…

Parallax wall design without CSS … #need joke t.co/uzmiipV8G…

With Ebola so close I’m watching I Am Legend today for a refresher NYC survival course.

Spent tonight in the devil’s lair, a NYC bar with all girls, reading txt messages to boys t.co/ZcNHfv6DA… t.co/tyH5eJNTn…

Well I’ve got to say, it’s an honour to be in the same city as Ebola. Later on in life when everyone ignores me, I’ll have have a reason.

8:45am on day 5: they have accepted me as one of their own. Barista at the Starbucks across from my apartment cracked a joke with me.

Hey, join me on tsū, a publishing platform where I share my content now: t.co/F1eEFKSfu…

Plus ‘traditional web design’ is a hilarious thing to say

Signed up for The Grid because I think traditional web design is dying a slow death and maybe AI design is a thing t.co/sn9Ozw7tK…

T-shirt cannon! #slowmo #witherstakeusa #msg @ Madison Square Garden t.co/w7PYDuEbe…

Bought the caps, totes Knicks fans now t.co/RBnOVIIyx… t.co/z6mXWUDBo…

Can see Kendall Jenner, she’s now more real than the moon landing.

Knicks vs. Wizards #MSG t.co/vh4Uf8FjP… t.co/yljkBAYtA…

Went full hipster cut #witherstakeusa t.co/G8VLIkRzd… t.co/4TwH1d707…

Breaking News: Mickey Mouse actually a Mexican man, not a mouse t.co/wEvkF4NO0… t.co/9uZDASmrw…

Uptown, downtown, turn the best around town, hip hopping, beat bopping, there’s no stopp… t.co/WQ6Yvlcnc… t.co/Sc17b4WK4…

Mapel-coated sugar-cube-chip caramelised chocolate cupcake #whynot #witherstakeusa

As much as Tosh 3.11 would’ve been lovely, it’s was the non-$3 beer that lead me to warn everyone to never go to Dangerfield’s.

Was lied to by the ticket seller on the street. Promised @danieltosh &amp; #TinaFey sold us four tickets instead of two and promised $3 beers

Seemingly haunted #NYC house is under attack by an arachnoid #witherstakeusa t.co/e0hSRIYtT… t.co/JcRGEWaZd…

It doesn’t even matter how many hotdogs I ate today, walked 18km around Manhattan.

A store wholly dedicated to the good things in life #witherstakeusa t.co/nYA5frcpt… t.co/NVhbHkAKR…

A Lego Lego store #meta #witherstakeusa #flatiron t.co/80sNLSDJn… t.co/lPeJncEuQ…

#witherstakeusa #flatiron t.co/LpQei8Dnk… t.co/lrKLG3Y3Q…

I fail to see how any American could get fat. Everything is so sugar-encrusted here. And sugar is totally natural.

Can confirm: this city never sleeps.

Let’s talk about (marriage) sex … and why you might not be getting any t.co/AqCS2DbnP… t.co/RTwBM4w9q…

Let’s talk about (marriage) sex … and why you might not be getting any t.co/Xhf29n3Dx…

These two were giving me all kinds of feels during yesterday’s #wedding #ceremony! #sama… t.co/CMGkgczFL… t.co/RMRxiByyk…

Real estate in LA. Nothing under a mil. t.co/RbugdzaMh… t.co/YWa4NgqPl…

I’ve got a bit of a crush on the @Qantas #747 after flying on one for the first time today #LAX t.co/U25mRBQ1k…

LAX is a happening place (read: Ghost-town) before 8am.

Pretty sure the reason God didn’t want us to have sex before marriage is for this exact reason.

“Hi, you used to date my wife and you awkwardly broke up. Let’s share personal space for a day.”

I hate it when people say this, but it’s true: I can’t even.

Of all the flights, and all the seats.

Well, this happened. 14 hours of awkward. t.co/EQuFhhJl2…

On a flight sitting next to my wife’s ex-boyfriend.

Start spreading the news, we’re leaving today. We want to be a part of it, New York, New York! t.co/nMoPWqoUv… t.co/DTnyBWSfc…

No sleep til Brooklyn! It’s #NYC day! t.co/rxOLVrgpF… t.co/3Q3hsIgl8…

I am on holidays … back to work in three weeks!

I think I just broke the shop assistant’s heart when I mistakingly said I’ve just finished work for the year &amp; I’m on holidays to NYC 2morrw

I’ve married some freakingly amazing people recently #marriedbyjosh #luckyboy #flipagram ♫ Music:… t.co/EWrjhh2bS…

Sam + Isabel #marriedbyjosh #samandizzygethitched #almostcried #freakingawesomewedding t.co/qLtp1Hvem… t.co/rSRLjDMAS…

#samandizzygethitched t.co/faWKcKjbf… t.co/BI36otk70…

#samandizzygethitched t.co/6IfdmhEWl… t.co/GLnnAMe4f…

#samandizzygethitched t.co/fJdvJYB1q… t.co/09RVTWePy…

#samandizzygethitched t.co/ZeKEGGD8g… t.co/wO27QzW05…

#samandizzygethitched t.co/Fo2vw47N0… t.co/gjcCKQNX3…

Abbott Commits To Cutting Australia’s Reputation By 30% By 2015 t.co/j5lhMpn2O…

James + Jo #marriedbyjosh at #sirromet t.co/vws6TOEzH… t.co/FYiuZosLA…

What happens when I shirtfront Russian leaders t.co/CqUmBbgOO…

Ed Sheeran’s ‘Thinking Out Loud’ is a beautiful song about a man lovingly telling his wife he’s planning to divorce her on his 71st birthday

“Out of all of my weddings and all my celebrants, you’re definitely my favourite!” - Kir… t.co/p9tJMQm9i… t.co/6mYZo9U37…

Uber Sydney and Perth is hiring t.co/PgT0RskXj…

Happy Gold Coast Uber Launch Day #UberGC! #nomnomnom t.co/jCL5TyAhD… t.co/VhoDoBBPS…

Off to @rabbitandcocoon for the @Uber_GoldCoast launch tonight! #UberGC

I find someone as crazy about significant spaces as I am .. so I interviewed her! t.co/naYfTQYN3… t.co/mlHg59IAF…

Wedding Magazine - Real wedding inspiration: Jason and Marisa - t.co/rivH4SwtB…

Please spread your word of mouth about me … on @WOMOcomau, please review me with 5 stars! t.co/FmRhwZRkK… t.co/e29B60vu9…

I find someone as crazy about significant spaces as I am .. so I interviewed her! t.co/FGyBXXkI7…

Three things everyone should know about product psychology t.co/e4HPK0M77…

BREAKING NEWS: Original Killer Pythons found at Currumbin Beach’s The Deck Cafe t.co/Ln8P2GskY…

Just shirt fronted the ATO. The ATO won. But I got a few fronts in before it got me.

I’m learning customer psychology with t.co/ARl6ru94j…’s course that sends lessons to your inbox every week t.co/aBzHUcjxv…

We’re 347 years late for #NYC t.co/d1Eyv2rGD… t.co/s2ICIAfDO…

Just shirt fronted a coffee. The coffee lost.

Ok, stay with me on this: Jay Z in Beyoncé in a black Gone Girl but it’s real life. Brilliant?

Cool Toy Story, bro t.co/dOCX8TH9s…

Partner in crime, @hellobrittanyjane photographed by @paulbamford t.co/GGl6Oqcbe… t.co/72tFe6KjD…

Netscape Navigator celebrates 20th birthday by launching as an iPhone app. Unfortunately not true news :( t.co/bkbqgh3IX…

“Wrong clients are a blessing. Thank them. Help them. Embrace them.” t.co/DliYuJJLv…

Just changed my Dropbox password to boobs

Any recs for a travelling app to store itineraries, flight numbers, reservations etc? TripIt looks liek a win, do you use anything?

Come on, let’s go some place strange t.co/IvfGF2iVW… t.co/TNXJiDite…

Why I have a pop-up love t.co/1Ts7DCeyJ… t.co/6EoJGFGTm…

Come on, let’s go some place strange …at @rabbitandcocoon t.co/aCkEqMXtr…

Like to know more about my jokes? Send a stamped self-addressed envelope to Studio 4, 30 Light Street, F/Val, &amp; I’ll send you a factsheet.

… find a better method of putting the ball at the end of the field.

Let’s all just never mention a country or race in the world again ok. Unless it’s a sporting match in which case those Kiwis can go f…

2nd Fremantle @popupwed date released! @hellobrittanyjane &amp; I have been overwhelmed by t… t.co/OFIaONc77… t.co/jTFo3TMff…

Me and that @twoguysbowties … Photo by @antheaauldphotographer at the #PerthPopUpWeddi… t.co/cuc2NXIZk… t.co/dCKeNBgBE…

Why I have a pop-up love t.co/yb7FeNMrx…

One week from today @hellobrittanyjane &amp; I touch down in #NewYorkCity - comment with all… t.co/vyFe51yck… t.co/aZwUluJTa…

Got any #NewT#YorkCity must sees, must dos, must meets? @hellobrittanyjane and I touchdo… t.co/gXuXNnd4x… t.co/8ncme4MSp…

I’ve got some really talented friends :) t.co/lC87ZaZ0y… t.co/yx4l23XVU…

Every single list of songs about #NewYork I could find on the Internet was useless … so I made my own #Spotify #NYC t.co/5jPVArv1n…

Thinking about wearing a dog suit and leg cast, carrying a boom box the whole time we’re New York #BigCityNights

Ashely asks: do we need to have joint bank accounts? t.co/HCtlO1PQy… t.co/ktxLqTf90…

Simon +Mia #marriedbyjosh photographed by @paulbamford at the award winning @summergrove… t.co/5hVqUJYmc… t.co/3YujpWdud…

I don’t want to seem petty, but someone has changed the font on my GMail email notifications and TODAY IS RUINED.

Nothing is on fire. Fire is on things. Mind. Blown.

Ashely asks: do we need to have joint bank accounts? t.co/0aCe97k4l…

Talked about commitment and love to seven couples today, and for the first time in a lon… t.co/DHCDomnX1… t.co/bNlBsVmPK…

I know I keep going on about NYC, but this is the biggest thing I, we, have ever done. I… t.co/8AIq3v6rO… t.co/hFdl83qhO…

Andrew + Natalie #marriedbyjosh at the #gcpopupwedding! #popupwed #popupwedding #summerg… t.co/IHTU384vr… t.co/z2ElCpqY4…

Adrian &amp; Katie #marriedbyjosh at the #gcpopupwedding #popupwed #summergrove #wedding t.co/RNL6Ori0L… t.co/DO7IZebqV…

Gilles + Amy #marriedbyjosh at the #gcpopupwedding! #popupwed #popupwedding #summergrove t.co/m3Svqfnos… t.co/ey9HZnB6G…

Damien + Kate #marriedbyjosh at the #gcpopupwedding #popupwed #popupwedding #wedding #we… t.co/dvrEyD9g8… t.co/bQrfBYLF8…

Simon + Mia #marriedbyjosh at the #gcpopupwedding #popupwed at #summergrove t.co/f2ALPeOtz… t.co/NpezgnfkO…

I feel a bit petty just leaving but I feel they’re being petty trying to get another $3 out of me.

Has there been an economics study done on $10 minimum EFTPOS a limits? If there’s a limit being enforced I’ll just go to another shop.

Adrian + Liz #marriedbyjosh at the #popupwed #hc popupwedding #popupwedding #wedding #Go… t.co/Csz99PIzq… t.co/IeYBSfl8f…

It’s #popupwed time! #goldcoastwedding #goldcoast popupwedding #wedding #summergrove #tw… t.co/Uc4291ILI… t.co/Jg1JROO7S…

It’s nice being the talk of the town lol

Bilambil service station attendant asks me if I’ve heard about the seven weddings happening at Summergrove Estate today! #popupwed

Tonight on 60 Minutes , the man who once proclaimed ‘every day I’m shuffling’ caught walking.

Can you actually earn, or spend, Flybuys points on actual flights anymore?

97.3fm must be the only station that plays Star Trekkin after LMFAO

Tonight on 60 Minutes, the man who once proclaimed ‘every day I’m shuffling’ caught walking.

“My grandfather knitted me this jumper“ - thing we’ll hear when we’ve really reached gender equality

Persevere my brothers and sisters in the faith.

An encouragement for the survivors. It’s been three weeks since the iPhone 6 came out and I haven’t upgraded yet. It gets easier each day.

I try my hardest to not talk about politics and religion on here, but wouldn’t that be a cool band name? #PoliticsAndReligion

Hanging out with my bestie tonight #wifenight t.co/GcVXNZ99t… t.co/Lml4Fufp7…

#marriedbyjosh pic by @jessmarksphoto t.co/io4AFcYSS… t.co/CP7AypVLx…

In planning her wedding ceremony styling Angel employed the services of Bradley Cooper t… t.co/u739GaQON… t.co/U9dDNTgcL…

Well I don’t know what you’ve been doing today but I just got ordained as a minister in the state of New York.

Mars is the only planet in the known universe that is 100% inhabited by robots.

Eight years ago today Google bought YouTube for $1.65 billion. The biggest purchase I made that year was a MacBook. t.co/WhVnGRydW…

“Ebola is an infectious, often fatal virus. For more information, consult your own darkest paranoid nightmares.” t.co/o2cwHgWC5…

“There used to be a Pizza Hut there!” - me, like, everywhere

Bang bang - pic by @samvarendorff t.co/MrVWC8k6r… t.co/Eh9SAW86J…

We’re at Summergrove Estate in the Tweed Hinterland this Sunday - hope the skies stay blue

It’s the #GoldCoast #popupwedding weekend with seven couples getting married! I love #popupwed because it’s no BS, 100% authentic commitment

My tweets are big at Griffith Uni (sent to me by a student) #lol t.co/SmWRmA54o…

That moment! Photo by @antheaauldphotographer t.co/HIsIh7XJU… t.co/lzhy3umxp…

Look who’s featured on The Knot today! t.co/Rokd2GMpb…

“There are people who can be relied upon to respond promptly to emails, and those who can’t” t.co/xv3lSFynx… via @saddington

The @entreleadership podcast helps me #gimmiefreestuffyo

A little share from my heart: my values t.co/6JvKAyLXz… t.co/qXD7ZmoUb…

Sharing my values t.co/tjvmWhG6g…

My goal, one day, somehow, some day, is to write a book … I have no idea how to do that t.co/Dj2VSnqbb… t.co/UEdj360Xa…

Zara Kids now open. // Reach out to protect the rights of children. Amnesty. t.co/5ue7yRxGg… t.co/T8TbqMFi9…

Ugh! I just saw my first Instagram ad. My photos are all so dirty now. I’ll be back after this shower brought to you by Johnson &amp; Johnson.

I’m sure none of their other vendors hold them to account for every dollar as much as I do.

I really do feel sorry for any wedding media that ever approaches me to advertise.

I just entered to #win &amp; you can too: “Fujifilm X-T1 Digital Camera”. Enter the #giveaway here: t.co/ooBDZoU2E…

Voting (in America) just went sexy #turnoutforwhat t.co/P6KQwCz4b…

The Brisbane market has never been more ripe for the @BrisbaneTimes to click print on it’s website &amp; start selling something at a newsagent

I’m sure every bloke that brings his car in for repair brings a Cosmo Bride magazine, right? t.co/6e6hukXHl… t.co/SoQVtIICa…

TC 41: Kira Soltanovich &amp; Graham Elwood t.co/L6N7KizMj…

I’m not saying we should, but, like, has anyone ever given a sloth cocaine - @eliyudin

Enter, check it out, stalk him, at t.co/9UbqeK0v6…

I’ve been working with a pretty awesome Sydney photographer on his new website and blog, and he just launched, and is giving away a camera!

The Gospekl of Hey Jude t.co/TqRDQSch6… t.co/Lgx7OlzMm…

Are you breaking any of the seven deadly wedding sins on your wedding day? t.co/ffgVKCNGy… t.co/2fdKBWpWD…

Tom + Pippa #marriedbyjosh photographed by @dawnphotographyorg t.co/LUJAYYOqC… t.co/ZMjOeSigN…

Thoroughly making sure all of my bikini pics are gone from the internet in-case I get murdered and it makes frontpage news.

Well this “Turn Down For what” website manipulator is the best thing on the Internet this week t.co/LOzjYv6vS…

If you can’t be a good example … #WordSwagApp t.co/MNMRcOhYR… t.co/tbrVToHQw…

Are you breaking any of the seven deadly wedding sins on your wedding day? t.co/xHEcuh3xk…

“Victim of murder-suicide? Let’s put her on the frontpage in a bikini and call her a she-male” - Courier Yay-l t.co/GWTKfEAm9…

Daddy just got paid! t.co/fc8ofGJ1G…

We’ve had a crazy weekend t.co/8yUcuoFwQ… t.co/0L3Nogk61…

Simon + Carmen #marriedbyjosh, photos by @lisabrookeclark more on ello t.co/3AQos0XFl… t.co/BMQZhue1f…

Simon &amp; Carmen #marriedbyjosh at @VictoriaPark and photographed by @lisaclark_photograph… t.co/Kl35CJllS… t.co/jtitmxYVt…

“Thank you Josh. Your bubbly personality is such a delight. We enjoyed your ceremony hea… t.co/4D4B3OP8x… t.co/QSOROfEtS…

The sophistication of a wedding ceremony, and how it can all get in the way t.co/DxCO3OxDW… t.co/fV83pMGRC…

These 15 wedding traditions can go straight to the bin t.co/5OFLGglzm… t.co/qLvDZhQtf…

Word of the week (in my head): authentic t.co/PG2KV65QX… t.co/N6ZDAnZ1n…

Freakin awesome #marriedbyjosh weekend t.co/uVuwOIhKS… t.co/iYoILNUoX…

SPORTSBALL WTF! #DONTLIKEEITHERTEAM

Tom + Pippa!! #marriedbyjosh t.co/Mf1b7lRhJ… t.co/UenHXkWEj…

This is a nerd public service announcement: the domain name t.co/2fSlHtNKB… is not registered …. yet.

Surely it’s time the world saw another song featuring the word ‘haver’?

My guide on how to be the perfect wedding guest t.co/502VYc0lR… t.co/7ECsKzWr4…

Oh, by the way, Daily Mail yo t.co/7eGf9pHhC…

The Josh quote of the day “WA gobbled it up” t.co/7eGf9pHhC…

Zhe and Sunny #marriedbyjosh! t.co/My86znwgP… t.co/VIF4pv7lc…

Lunchtime’s office t.co/TiFOBtJzi… t.co/nP1RixNCu…

Just did an interview with the Daily Mail!

A challenge for your marriage t.co/2KVxujLIB… t.co/FMoYqDjIZ…

This email really made my day, plus I have a great answer for The Bobs now! t.co/3n8BIqYpF… t.co/ktvu8oenN…

“Loads of our guests have mentioned what an awesome job you did” t.co/vml0DBEov… t.co/aXLQzI00S…

Rolly &amp; Kelly #marriedbyjosh in such an authentic sunset wedding ceremony at @evesonther… t.co/jz0ds1m7r… t.co/SAIeeK0ue…

“Loads of our guests have mentioned what an awesome job you did” t.co/w5TyMSZNC… t.co/EOHTgyE8g…

Just saw someone renting a DVDS from an automated DVD kiosk, so it’s a pretty massive day for the DVD industry.

That one awesome time I was in the Daily Mail … !!! … t.co/KWQn0TMdo…

High school friend just invited me to like her favourite supermarket’s Facebook page. Life really is a box of chocolates isn’t it.

“In life, change is inevitable. In business, change is vital.” Author, Warren G. Bennis

Remember the good old days when we used to post on ello? Good times.

“Definitely recommend Josh to anyone, he is someone who dares to be different” t.co/D6I9VVRDA… t.co/dtVFaXPLx…

That last tweet is possibly too meta

Do you think Apple’s U2 giveaway might have been more successful if they hid the album in a folder on the phone called Fun Stuff?

It might have something to do with not having lost any direct family members or friends.

I know I’m young, ignorant, and lucky, but I’ve not mourned the loss of someone more than Steve Jobs -3yrs tomorrow t.co/s6u79I8wk…

OMG WHEN OR WHERE WILL THIS #BACHELORAU SAGA END? Asking for a friend.

Over-excited Korean guy wearing a Jeep shirt driving a brand new Jeep bought a Jeep.

“Never bring a Dyson Airblade to a towel fight“ - @MrBigFists

“We had a great time on the day and your service was absolutely fantastic” t.co/IJCCLLEZV… t.co/Yy22y9Yhn…

Happy Valley lived up to it’s name for Ant and Sally’s awesome Stanthorpe soirée t.co/EvIesVS7Z… t.co/jQc25ZUCf…

Date night with my girlfriend! t.co/kXiu8tuzQ… t.co/nNp2oJEvU…

Most people hate traffic jams but how often do you get the chance to take in-focus photo… t.co/HdNWLheBc… t.co/h2pbk1Kzf…

Can anyone recommend an electrician on the Gold Coast? Our hot water system is on strike, showers are forecast with a cold front expected.

Luke and Bianca #marriedbyjosh - what an awesome ceremony! t.co/rkoXfIQZ6… t.co/t7250NGJN…

A list of other people’s wedding vows, that might help you write your own vows t.co/FSpKJDNDU… t.co/cNd9FcovZ…

Also rocking a new #bowtie by @twoguysbowties from @absofabstore #mensstyle t.co/AZtcHxjHk… t.co/FrthbRmtN…

New hair things day, thanks to @kingbrown_pomade from @the_pomade_shop #hair #mensstyle … t.co/qFSoWMaC0… t.co/HutDzHlKq…

Leaked texts! t.co/lpScBcJDn…

Everyone stop asking me why @MolksTVTalk and i are consciously uncoupling. He’s the one making all of the decisions.

WANT!!: Exclusive: Australian hands-on with Apple CarPlay (Pioneer AVH-X8650BT) t.co/RD6o84kN3…

“We are both so grateful and happy to have had the most awesome celebrant ever” t.co/YIxNgYWW4… t.co/pfhrAgx1f…

“From the moment we met Josh we felt like he was just like a close friend who knew exactly wh… joshs.lint.co/MbUAayWAg…

I’m 32 years old and I still don’t “know what that means” when radio announcers say “it’s Friday and you know what that means!”

“As far as a testimonial goes I can say this: Thank you for giving us the freedom to be us” t.co/pPJ28xNaE… t.co/BXFTck8GQ…

In breaking news, The Bachelor transforms into the bachelor, same guy but without the capitalised first letters cause it’s not a title now.

Ok, stay with me on this one, new name for Blake: The Batch-he-lay-her #TheBachelorAU

Hi, I find u on the Google, how much you charge? $935 My friend got married last month for $350, why u so much, u don’t do anything special

I’m going to wear a burqa to Parmigiana tonight.

Peter is to oin tune with the termites RT @612brisbane: Called in a pest controller to answer your concern on the cereal box Peter.

I can’t help but think I’ll be a broke elderly man spending every last dollar on remastered Eminem and Nickelback albums.

JibJab Messages by JibJab Media Inc. t.co/Fk9lGBhG6… t.co/igVzu2wYI…

“We wanted to say thank you very much for delivering a fantastic ceremony” t.co/OpjNtQuMt… t.co/66U8I4PYq…

Wife just started following me on Insta, so that’s cool t.co/x8L4uUfSt… t.co/oQ6kv2akk…

OMG MINI TACOS #hillstoneweddings t.co/mWBRgWvzE… t.co/VX6zvxgcv…

Could. Not. Resist. #hillstoneweddings #brisbanecelebrant #briswed t.co/JhaHhRk0Z… t.co/kXzTmgBhI…

15 wedding traditions I’d like to see you throw out t.co/tANTjKvLL…

There needs to be a ruling made on whose armrest is whose in a cinema.

Love is … making lunch for each other :) t.co/IGussCfSP… t.co/ZyEJ0b8aY…

You probably didn’t know this, but the official bird of the City of #Brisbane is a guy trying to drive the wrong way down a one-way street.

Promo tweet for freebie: Meet Felice Theme, a FREE “Coming Soon” WordPress template from @hibluchic . Check it out t.co/4onhDFRBt…

“You were a ray of sunshine on a very cloudy, rainy, stormy day!” t.co/DjHo9sKV8… t.co/P5mpe9xRY…

New fav blog: t.co/3LyiOuMHp… @sgaustralia

A wedding reading you might find some inspiration in if you met on the Internet t.co/wUXCHvfm8… t.co/qz5QR3bJG…

In a moment of confusion, Parliament House’s chef has taken burgers off the menu.

TC 40: Alicia Malone &amp; Michele Mahone t.co/0EVb6K01K…

“Josh’s ability as a speaker is only surpassed by his ability as humourist” t.co/MWqXxd04g… t.co/XfeRGBFVr…

“Your part in guiding our ceremony was unquestionably excellent” Annarie &amp; Marcus #marriedbyjosh photo Jessie Dains t.co/MDZ3aJXZP…

All the information for brides on how to change your name after your wedding t.co/N7uSrfPCW…

The sophistication of a wedding ceremony, and how it can all get in the way t.co/yw5T0loK1…

“I find Bourke Street confronting” - Josh Withers

Movie Idea: #LiamNeeson just stands in front of a camera punching people for 2 hours: “Taken 4: It’s Face Value”

Movie idea: #LiamNeeson’s daughter is totally ok so they buy a tandem bike: “Taken 4: A Ride”

Movie idea: Liam Neeson resigns from being a retired CIA agent and becomes an Ibuprofen: Take 4: Back Pain.

Movie idea: #LiamNeeson realises the movie producers have been behind his daughter’s kidnapping this whole time: Taken 4: A Fool.

“We had a great time on the day and your service was absolutely fantastic” t.co/HOGZYMdjY…

Movie idea: #LiamNeeson is replaced by @HackedOffHugh in the next in the Taken series. It’s called “Taken 4: Granted”

So GIF keyboard is changing my iOS8 life t.co/yzfCLT2Hl…

Trying something crazy in my business: accepting anonymous feedback. Would appreciate if you tested it out for me t.co/KCmdKz4um…

“Thanks so much for being a brilliant celebrant!!!” t.co/Nl07mOsdA… t.co/IueJ3cWew…

Wow! I’m working from home today and just realised I’d been wearing pants all morning for no reason!

Any Wordpress theme nerds available to do an Illustrator to Wordpress theme conversion? We’ve hired @chopchoporg but they’re being painful.

“Your reliability was comforting and passion and excitement for weddings was infectious” t.co/bnLvP5pwa… t.co/OYTjjteld…

Will Smith and the remaining survivors will really enjoy your #Ebola jokes in 6 months.

I’ve just started writing for other SME’s on @SavvySME - check out my first article about creating WOW moments t.co/TPbHogir0…

When meeting with your venue, ask them these questions so you have a rockin' wedding t.co/jUFf5nIEL… t.co/uZZr3GJJM…

Probably the best piece of radio content regional Australia has created in recent times t.co/Q1MNolbtg…

Do you ello? Add me and say … ello t.co/Va8Vp9TgP…

“We were after a young, vibrant, non-traditional celebrant and that’s what we got in Josh” t.co/w9YZm7kkW… t.co/jmEt4d949…

“Thanks Joshua, we were so happy to have you involved in our special day!” t.co/OaUyVguB2… t.co/IWrpxhAuM…

“The Celebrant” #coffee t.co/FpSicab2o… t.co/qLFzr3wIF…

This beat poet has something awesome to say about marriage t.co/cK5U5f3qt… t.co/ZAjFw8mUg…

If you’ve got a niche #podcast, you ought to snap up one of these available podcast. TLDs t.co/PHRkNNsQH…

I think my iPhone’s Soundblaster 32 drivers need to be updated.

“Josh, I can’t thank you enough. The ceremony was perfect!” t.co/ppfvyqTDg… t.co/Git5yNDqK…

sslllllooowwwwwww mooooooooeeee video photo booth t.co/YPy5S3ZSy… t.co/Wu1IK4GBT…

Obligatory begging post for Ello invite. If you’ve got an invite, pass one on to a brother.

I’m so frikkin pumped! 11 nights in NYC, 2 nights in San Juan, 3 nights in Washington DC!

Tickets to Puerto Rico booked! BOOYAH!

A few ideas on how to invite Uber into your wedding … and $50 to help you get started! t.co/JjnCXPNao… t.co/iBUn6vRQW…

Sometimes when we’re bored we film Stevie the kitten. She’s totally into it. t.co/t7gWIKHkz…

Locking away some last minute details tonight for our next #perthpopupwedding at @kidogo… t.co/N9OGmktqE… t.co/6JT4DV8C5…

BREAKING: Local man really hasn’t got time for these roadworks. Onlookers have watched him change lanes three times over the course of 50m.

Lian and David #marriedbyjosh! Love a Monday #elopement #wedding at #Lightspace t.co/wnaysUMe6… t.co/Juz2qMRRC…

“Our guests all believed that you were a friend or relative of ours” t.co/zjO36waf2… t.co/GTTTkluRg…

Here’s to the boring ones t.co/C1g0q9fxR… via @saddington

Why can’t silence be @RedFoo’s new thang?

Would appreciate your thoughts on a blog post I’m working on: How Google’s driver-less cars would positively impact marriages/relationships.

A few wise words on marriage from Hillary Clinton t.co/tGx82apCs… t.co/Vn49yCpg0…

My guide on how to be the perfect wedding guest t.co/KXOfdCQT2…

This will only end well if @karlstefanovic jumps onto the bandwagon early. Do it Karl, do it. (If you happen to read this Karl, hi)

Stellarossa HQ Wickham have named my coffee order, a Caramel Long Black, “The Celebrant”… t.co/j2XwT0QVY… t.co/VYjUEM9IB…

In the coming months Hitchiker’s 11 will be “that song” that everyone mimics in funny videos on YouTube … and eventually Seven Sunrise.

Trend Alert: The band is called Hitchhiker, they’re from South Korea, the whack song is called 11 t.co/uyGbXC6BM…

“Your energy and enthusiasm really set the mood for the entire day!” t.co/zDNMlq7wt… t.co/IAqAK9QlR…

Britt got me a pressie! t.co/V2SVEYaMS… t.co/SgForfp0f…

Best prepaid SIM-only deal for an Aussie travelling to the USA for three weeks?

A new Marriage Monday blog post, with a challenge t.co/TTeWbwltK…

I just charged my new iPhone in the microwave like Facebook said and it’s rubbish. It’s only charged on the outsides, not in the middle.

Ten little wedding ceremony ideas you’re welcome to steal t.co/1DCqEUeYx… t.co/CqgZMDP65…

It’s nice to see my family growing #fatherhood #bowtie #twoguysbowties #mensstyle t.co/K0XhWwZBp… t.co/MeyP2y04n…

Five quick and awesome wedding ideas, throw these into your planning book! t.co/h7qr9jyLe… t.co/h8wPWNktZ…

Hey Australia, my 100% non-terrorist dark-skinned mate had a glass bottle thrown at him yesterday. Everyone chill the feck out.

Read how my friends re-invented wedding speeches t.co/rwjEp019w… t.co/9YccXC5lk…

Promo tweet for free GB … Download a Bear! t.co/2kCiy7zEn… @theTunnelBear t.co/RxXFRZTEC…

“Josh has such a modern and profound understanding of what marriage is today” t.co/H2iVvwhwZ… t.co/WuhE4tSP8…

“Put another shrimp on the Barbie, and Ken, and anyone else with cancer” - UQ scientists t.co/HW5G6YhXI…

#MarriedByJosh at Midginbill Hill - pics by #LoveIsAPlacePhotography t.co/NVcUhqQ8Y…

NYC IN THREE WEEKS TODAY! But who’s counting?! Pic by @patricknlewis t.co/Vt82ZXAWb… t.co/0PTj6m2yb…

“Josh was happy for us to construct our own ceremony but deliver it in his own natural style” t.co/kWl4bBCdJ…t.co/L8RN84bkh…

I’m quite partial to this wedding styling, do you like it? t.co/aROzwPpwd… t.co/RENFrZ61y…

Love is in the air at #Riverfire t.co/V6BDEwqvs… t.co/JPA7Pg5bE…

Just caught a ride to Riverfire with Uber for free using my own ‘marriedbyjosh’ promo code!

Nic and Emily #marriedbyjosh! t.co/Oe869cLnS… t.co/JSbSoMPkW…

Getting hitched outdoors? Here’s a few ideas t.co/3FDXhiPod… t.co/aRfH2sFgk…

Doctor Who theme music blaring out of the PA system, on the grounds of a university, as fighter jets fly over #justanotherdayatwork

BOW TIE! By @twoguysbowties and found in #Brisbane at @absofabstore t.co/7mzeaEU8I… t.co/aFOoSBrHa…

Doing my 100th wedding for the year this afternoon … that explains where the year went!

Yep … I just quoted the Bobs in a blog post. It’s a good day.

Marriage at it’s core doesn’t require love … this could be interesting … t.co/FlSr6JXUM… t.co/FfAmNNqfS…

This email really made my day, plus I have a great answer for The Bobs now! t.co/SoFhS29n7…

The most encouraging thing is when people just get it, when they just get what you do: “… t.co/R3nBpeHPX… t.co/lnSgix25V…

Nude photo of me t.co/gcfeP2VrY…

Here’s a few ideas on how to save a dollar or two on your wedding day t.co/9mv3Ghrql… t.co/lDt8T3vcs…

Grabbing a coffee in Woolongabba and of course I’d randomly run into Perth’s awesome cel… t.co/NZkzjfn6F… t.co/Y8eYXmNGu…

Quick! Help me choose which @twoguysbowties bow tie to buy!! t.co/mdFLFWZGs… t.co/Dhpsg7lCy…

“Definitely recommend Josh to anyone, he is someone who dares to be different” t.co/4babkFTib…

Dad found all of my childhood achievements!!! NATIONAL CHAMPION YO! t.co/QW38USdhB… t.co/hkdVUIwcQ…

“Josh has a natural ability to connect with people due to his desire to know their story” t.co/ycbMxPGot… t.co/Gji2Wz3TA…

Question, I’m taking my little brother out to Surfers Paradise tonight, are they still d… t.co/OiWPht0Gh… t.co/TWcxpy9tU…

“Our ceremony was everything we could have hoped for” t.co/VzMMmzRZZ… t.co/Lc66hIPky…

“I can’t believe it’s us in the selfie!!!” - Mrs Goodall #2goodall2betrue #marriedbyjosh t.co/G3sVmJRJS… t.co/nxfD5VDLd…

“Thank you so much for what was an amazing day” t.co/2Vctw3JS7… t.co/8hrNAUp3s…

“What caught our attention the most was Josh’s philosophies on marriage” t.co/x4V5j67kJ… t.co/7MdHAoQ7W…

#HeyASIO my ICQ number was 49739400 but I’ve forgotten my password- help a brother out?

“We both would love to thank you for creating such a memorable wedding ceremony” t.co/yZmEIX6LH… t.co/ouQYJmupE…

Well, a boy can try /cc @TerryDougie t.co/imSohD7XZ…

$50 on your first two #Uber rides, it’s on the #marriedbyjosh house t.co/10L7M3iEe… t.co/eoob4gwU7…

Just emailed one of my heroes that lives in NYC. I figure that I’m not in NY every day, and maybe Seth Godin wants to have lunch with me?

I’m worried that once day my child will be asked what daddy does. And they’ll be forced to answer “drink beer or coffee with people in love”

As I limbo dance through my thirties this is not the email I want to receive, APIA t.co/CanbVkHer…

Wanted: bow tie alignment technology so that my bow tie is always horizontal. Get back to me when I can send you a cheque, science.

Eagerly anticipating Apple iOS 8.11 for Workgroups

Tyler &amp; Jess #marriedbyjosh #noosacelebrant #noosawedding #wedding #noosa #celebrant t.co/7dbWXmmxZ… t.co/oHfIMTopd…

“I have a bum” - pop music today

“What a wonderful ceremony you created for Jay and I on our special day!” t.co/hizBtpNFa… t.co/MxIgNH5vO…

Happy Valley lived up to it’s name for Ant and Sally’s awesome Stanthorpe soirée t.co/fqlLoTq2B…

Sorry, I didn’t recognise you without the Instagram filter.

While we were in Perth for @popupwed recently Seven News turned up to capture the story t.co/jFflck6NM… t.co/6cbAvC9KE…

I have a problem, and I need your help to solve it: I have earned enough Stellarossa poi… t.co/fXS6lL3gR… t.co/z9F9C8dCs…

Photo by @triciakingphoto #butterfly #butterflies #butterflyrelease #briswed #brisbanec… t.co/TSXqJCebO… t.co/rzqetIZbO…

“If you’re having iPhone problems I feel bad for you son, I got 99 problems but a bend ain’t one” - iPhone 5S user

Dr Seuss’s wedding vows are probably the coolest on the planet! t.co/6ni6t2XIn… t.co/IGxfXVvRt…

Sharing Anthony and Sally’s story on my blog soon! #marriedbyjosh t.co/y5OJ9Ktat… t.co/TXR96uL41…

There are three kinds of people. #WordSwagApp t.co/9pkbzILEr… t.co/ZsXpANA5W…

Saw two Twitterlebrities today. Is this supposed to happen in threes?

If anyone’s looking for a good deal on advertising from the Police Institute in their members magazine I’m got a guy on the phone …

So @1Password is nice and super buggy on iOS8 isn’t it? I take it that this was a bad time to become a new user?

Meredith and Andy’s wedding guests said something pretty cool about me! t.co/sLTcG4afS… t.co/mbM5YUEGh…

The @popupwed is coming to #rabbitandcocoon on April 19 next year! t.co/wKwB4M61d… t.co/lgMVOWdyX…

“You’re the iPhone Stocks app of people” - awesome insult I just invented!

#marriedbyjosh and photographed by @triciakingphoto t.co/4fGM58MS5… t.co/DrxkQjq7e…

#marriedbyjosh and photographed by @triciakingphoto t.co/tCFjhp0Rr… t.co/NrzO5yUPn…

#marriedbyjosh and photographed by @triciakingphoto t.co/wkDbZC259… t.co/PkAn5Th2k…

The authenticity and amazing was of Holly and Mark’s wedding day is seriously jumping ou… t.co/8Ob7n00JI… t.co/ETGDT7dQ0…

Things you, and Britt, took away from the first Kardashian wedding t.co/tjBBsjmxW… t.co/Lgl4t5tNV…

#SethGodin nails the ‘two ends of each market’ t.co/vujSei3Bj… t.co/24ogGWmFU…

Can’t wait to share James + Amy’s story on the blog. Check out the view from #BinnaBurra… t.co/2BNU9JzSm… t.co/AYYJPXjut…

I think #Gillard has forgotten what the deal with Australian politics is. It’s a parliament that represents the public, not personal views.

“Nick and I would like to thank you for the outstanding job you did as being our celebra… t.co/HzlRyDps5… t.co/74rBHbY2f…

Booking a celebrant is a lot like dating t.co/xcTb3L33p…

Guys, spring has been hiding in Toowoomba. In case you were looking for it.

CelebrantSelfie #marriedbyjosh t.co/xw2MSiICS… t.co/UWclUWX4g…

Just married @spillfilmsmaker &amp; @ebonynave at @homesteadwedding! #marriedbyjosh t.co/rZxfkQw5w… t.co/0Pc6FhQ8e…

I think there’s a reason @homesteadwedding is so popular #GabbinarHomestead t.co/MwHU3dqVM… t.co/x8QRuZCAp…

A modern point of view on “giving the bride away” #bringadowry t.co/lGSwF9623… t.co/RBsWDZ2uU…

Phone call from Australia Post’s Albion MC tells me that they can’t post a letter when they’ve only got my name &amp; phone number on the front.

What should you have in your wedding day emergency pack? t.co/k7veLTpY6… t.co/0ZQcmF7T4…

My grandma told us a lovely story last night about how she used to have a nice young helpful tanned house boy.

It’s weird that 20 years on everyone is Friend-crazy but when it first aired no-one even tweeted about it.

Marriage at it’s core doesn’t require love … so that’s interesting … t.co/WoPRi7UWs…

We just announced new @popupwed dates on the GC tonight! We’re rocking 2 #popupwed at @rabbitandcocoon on April 19 t.co/oNWSvzZvw…

This Seuss book is one of my favourite ways to start a wedding ceremony t.co/HipIfgaWe… t.co/wqO5AYWlg…

The iPhone 0 Plus really is bigger isn’t it! t.co/EjVYqcemf…

The next @popupwed location is being announced tonight at 8pm. There are animals involved!

Idea: four motorcycles welded together with a large square bracket so you get all the excitement of a motorbike with the capacity of a car.

Thinking about getting to &amp; from your wedding? Here’s an idea, use @Uber_Brisbane! Free $50! t.co/VCi5VVvgI… t.co/YFVw2Rjdu…

Int’l Anaconda spokesperson says that they indeed do want some and the recent speculation about them wanting none is far from the truth.

Waiting for @jedileelee to make me pretty at @ckbarber t.co/aGzZQW5X1… t.co/M8RWDD0Lj…

“The best way to complain is to make things.” - James Murphy

Sho wants to sign their marriage certificate with drumstick pens? Should I buy these? t.co/3qMPI9jy8… t.co/jIfTbbGTq…

How to get married in Australia, if you’re not from, or in, Australia t.co/6HolI2VDX… t.co/BIbQAkT3u…

*world of Warcraft reference t.co/4iZp9dsFn…

Aww! The chef is hip and with it! t.co/vLqUvFa80…

Wedding advice: put the Pinterest down!!! t.co/4pRjKeMcj… t.co/U7gsKnrL9…

Simon &amp; Carmen #marriedbyjosh at #victoriaparkgolfcourse t.co/mzGSXZCKG… t.co/IMBxDhHkN…

So I know a guy, ok.

Super dodgy looking guy out the front of my office in an old Commodore wants to know if I know if I know anyone looking to buy a laptop.

Get some creative wedding ceremony inspiration with these 8 quick ideas t.co/8gjdfFSda… t.co/k9LKXHFOB…

Kind of in love with this music video come wedding video! t.co/vaeqqi5lz… t.co/ccaG9XKqk…

In exactly four weeks time we’ll be Jetset for LAX, and onward to JFK! New York City cannot come soon enough!

Five quick points that married people don’t tell engaged-to-be-married people t.co/RPeMetfQW… t.co/EUMRY7oHG…

Congratulations to Mark and Holly! #marriedbyjosh

Shoutout to @hellomrjenkins in the ba… t.co/XOxFYH52s… t.co/688eYM6L6…

BUTTERFLY DOWN, I REPEAT, BUTTERFLY DOWN! t.co/HA8ct3gH6… t.co/pN4UMRw1s…

Let them eat #weddingcake t.co/Bcp4NUqp5… t.co/S2aMqGa2m…

Holly and Mark’s backyard was made for an event like today, bring on the wedding! t.co/6E0x8m6Z8… t.co/mp8uWtUS7…

Bartenders for the day, @hellomrjenkins, have gone bush for Mark and Holly’s wedding today t.co/4TjYF87Xs… t.co/cPo5PPK9e…

How the groomsmen can have fun on the morning of the wedding as well t.co/GEgSA0op9… t.co/AUHNb9NZo…

Thinking about getting to and from your wedding? Here’s an idea, use Uber! ($50 promo code inside!) t.co/kaZWGkYcX…

This is what happened on my wedding day … only click if you’re a stalker :) t.co/tMp3MIMIL… t.co/CIEyprduQ…

After seeing Harley Davidsons wrapped in rainbow flags ridden by angry men I’m almost too scared to ask what’s happening in the valley?

10 things to think about in regards to handfasting ceremonies t.co/YBt3cxeWc… t.co/9OVyvJHqZ…

Your wedding might never be as cool as this wedding … because Foo Fighters t.co/S5VDpg47z… t.co/JubfdY7P5…

Trust Apple and Scotland to make enough noise to push International Talk Like A Pirate Day off the frontpage.

Hashtag wedding your wedding on hashtag Instagram hashtag YOLO t.co/w1fWhG13B… t.co/mhjK8vJEX…

Meredith and Andy’s wedding guests said something pretty cool about me! t.co/NTEeQEdL6…

Dear UK wedding people: the domain name wedding.uk is available and I can’t register it because “apparently” I don’t live in the UK.

A thought piece on why brides aren’t changing their last name t.co/AZ1PcqCtP… t.co/zDGPdsMQI…

As a younger man I was obsessed with a book named after, and centred around, this street t.co/fw5C6jzAQ… t.co/hFQYjY90v…

When you have a crazy awesome idea, and everyone else agrees it’s awesome too … and then the news shows up! t.co/5uxzZeQNZ…

Love this marriage proposal, watch the video t.co/emzcKAwl4… t.co/jnuEb7B46…

Beats International playing on @B105Brisbane, is it the end times? This is jam hot.

Wedding ring diamonds … for dummies … a simple guide t.co/EEkmruR4g… t.co/F6OYVCqEN…

Lining up outside Woolworths, gotsta get me new Apples. I’m first in line yo!

I married her because she’s funnier than I try to be t.co/TLWvnnOlP…

Has America liberated Scotland yet?

A short and powerful guide on how to decide the big one: who to invite to your wedding t.co/upiBbAA7Z… t.co/sXDEajWNx…

Enough good wedding photos, here’s some ruined ones you’ll enjoy t.co/2i5Z24cLn… t.co/zwHzQKFsi…

I’m about to really mess with the WA marriage stats for the year as I register seven mar… t.co/OqTnchfYd… t.co/4Goxznx9R…

Google Maps got some notification love in iOS8 t.co/7G0J1O4mV…

Sometimes wedding business people can suck! Here’s some tips on how to stop being sucked in t.co/sq7LyYwnI… t.co/es9JSzW0Z…

Guys, be careful downloading iOS8, I’ve heard that Chumbawumba’s latest album is forced upon you and there’s no way to remove it.

Back in the office today, hard at work #likeaboss t.co/X1uULqAes… t.co/qz3wwqiyo…

RIP smart watches that aren’t Apple Watches. In other news, anyone want a Cookoo “Smart” Watch? t.co/6SQeu3xFF…

You’ve read all of the other top tips, now get your marriage advice from scientists! t.co/9PeZ8DDlK… t.co/qkwGK587u…

Ugh. I haven’t got enough space on my iPhone to tweet about not having enough space on my iPhone to upgra

My ‘on the radio’ selfie! t.co/3pEqteHs9… t.co/ahkbgMd7o…

Dare you to ask your wedding guests to RSVP like this t.co/hk5NjBe3t… t.co/r2sTI3X8v…

U2’s album distribution measures /via @nicshields t.co/uD4i7KDkv…

Ugh! Can’t believe U2 forced an album onto my Walkman /cc @Natty_Nat_Nat t.co/yuchYHhWX…

About to go on air on @Nova937 - if you’re in Perth tune in! Talking about the @PopUpWed and about how weddings can be awesome! #popupwed

Avril Lavigne &amp; Chad Kroger breaking up, which is sad news, but maybe now they’ll refocus on making us terrible chart topping music again.

TV show idea: Dancing With The Scars, a dancing show with anyone who’s lost Dancing With The Stars #DWTS

Errmm #weddinginvitation t.co/TUHwKaE20… t.co/r58e691Sz…

Guy brings his own chair to cafe I’m at. What does that even mean? t.co/laTUAUGsu…

Dear SEO experts that email me multiple times daily t.co/DCrM94Igt…

Chatted to @Cooksphere about @PopUpWed on the radios this week, listen here: t.co/811Muasj4… #popupwed

I think it’s hilarious that GMail refuses to ever accept that emails from Apple are not spam. I’m sure Google has nothing to do with it.

Really excited to be chatting to #Perth’s Nathan, @Natty_Nat_Nat and Shaun on @nova937 in the morning about @PopUpWed and awesome weddings!

Ugh! Bono’s whole iPhone address book just automatically downloaded to my phone.

(Imagine me in a begging position, but still looking cool) would u be so kind to review me as a celebrant on Google+ t.co/4r5etwN3p…

If you think a free Uber ride is cool, wait until you see what we’re doing next year with them!

Off to a wedding? Your @Uber ride there &amp; back is free with promo code ‘marriedbyjosh’ for 1st time riders! t.co/rhWLiIWaq…

You know what laptop or phone launch would blow my mind? One where the battery lasts all day. That’s my business' biggest limitation.

Watch the TV news segment on Seven News Perth about the pop-up wedding t.co/bmVq6tMHL…

Newsmakers! #popupwed #celebrant #perthwedding t.co/bfzsmjOgh… t.co/mLsHny7K7…

Myself and the #Perth @PopUpWed crew on @7NewsPerth t.co/rDoZxmcQn…

Crooked bow tie!!! Sorry @twoguysbowties! #popupwed t.co/5vp3P7b1p… t.co/UmyWfd88u…

I’m not in Perth tonight so I can’t see it, but I’m on @7NewsPerth for the @PopUpWed in a moment! Would love it if anyone sent me photo/vid

#TheLoveConveyorBelt … coming up at 6pm onPerth’s 7 News … what the heck have I got … t.co/I6PCtI1MA… t.co/8gPPu5vE0…

So apparently us celebrants get annual certificates and name badges now t.co/c0Rjs4kJZ… t.co/HVcUD5jkn…

Breaking News: David and Margaret reveal they never even liked movies anyway. They’re both reported to be ‘so relieved’ now everyone knows.

Breaking: scientists say rhyme supplies are getting very low. Govts are calling on rappers &amp; poets to use their rhyme reserves wisely.

To celebrate the new Currumbin mosque, everyone’s going to church tis weekend. Pass it on.

Zzzz (@ Sydney (Kingsford Smith) Airport (SYD) - @sydneyairport in Mascot, NSW) t.co/npJUhP13i…

As always Perth you were spectacular, I do promise to be backb t.co/GLB9gAPv7… t.co/hmGjPxB2k…

A Marriage Monday encouragement on your marriage, and your fan t.co/5xaD1IsOo…

THE LOVE CONVEYOR BELT! lol t.co/hYMuUlQeT…

If i had of know that at some time in my life I would be in charge of a love conveyor belt, I would’ve lost my shit as a younger man.

Dear #Perth, yes that was me interrupting your #thexfactorau to say hi! I’ll see you tomorrow night on @7NewsPerth to talk @popupwed!!

Remember this place @stularsen &amp; @ashpunch? t.co/vvugVHw9z… t.co/kfQmsD9vr…

My Perth dinner date just postponed, anyone want to eat drink and be merry tonight in ol' Perth or Fremantle town?

Adam and Shelley #marriedbyjosh at the @popupwed #popupwed at #VillaPourzand! t.co/UZjTxfitC… t.co/QeWCdBMa2…

Let me introduce you to @antheaauldphotographer - our amazing #popupwed #weddingphotographer! t.co/5ayH8zHPg… t.co/oQMmAPbyk…

The #popupwed furniture partner for this #Perth #popupwedding is @maiseycollections, lov… t.co/e1dbKnuJg… t.co/3cux8T0L3…

Our styling and floral partner for the #popupwed is @poppyandwillowblooms - everything l… t.co/Q3xIGDb6y… t.co/rWvHDqJSi…

I’ve had so much fun at the #Perth #popupwed - let me introduce you to our partner @love… t.co/o2KrFYAVp… t.co/T3jaQ5vAj…

Russell and Simone #marriedbyjosh at the @popupwed #popupwed #VillaPourzand t.co/UuI3WbnRL… t.co/bnsUWOVr4…

Cheyne and David #marriedbyjosh at the @popupwed #popupwed #VillaPourzand t.co/QFKRPMRYa… t.co/ZJAPeZ1f5…

Aaron and Joanne #marriedbyjosh at the @popupwed #popupwed #VillaPourzand t.co/yswP0h1tw… t.co/ZqMcpLSfP…

#marriedbyjosh at the @popupwed #popupwed #VillaPourzand t.co/xXreuMnu3… t.co/fcj6aQI2k…

Joe and Kath #marriedbyjosh at @popupwed #popupwed #VillaPourzand t.co/EEyc1o9S0… t.co/V2csMKNee…

#marriedbyjosh at the #Perth @popupwed #popupwed #VillaPourzand t.co/4HSIAg6Og… t.co/0shJB6jiw…

Good morning! Look at this Perthect weather! t.co/nK2vLRhFI… t.co/svTfAwEiJ…

It’s Perth pop-up wedding day! @popupwed

I’m at The Merrywell in Perth, WA t.co/oUxrZXwZc…

Love visiting #Perth, so many great memories and friends here! t.co/KOGF9EIN9… t.co/jj3Jgno4N…

Freakin' excited about making some wedding history tomorrow as seven couples get married in seven pop-up weddings in #Perth!

This one’s to you, @hellobrittanyjane! #regram from @inbloomflowerdelivery t.co/jBHaFpJNH… t.co/kHhs8v4yy…

Hello Perth! (@ Perth International Airport (PER) in Perth, West Australia) t.co/yM5Y5rgAO…

Airport cuisine is really underrated.

Business idea: a chain of restaurants that bring the charm and flavour of traditional airport food to people that aren’t flying today.

Dear Melbourne Airport, a billboard for the Sydney Airport train, in your airport, is confusing t.co/UZYTibOwG…

Hi Melbourne …. for a few minutes (@ Melbourne Airport (MEL) - @melair in Tullamarine, VIC) t.co/HU0DmB8Tu…

Best day ever. I was on a flight full of school children going on camp. But flight has been changed! Now flying to Perth via Melbourne :)

Save the date card! (Designed by Matt Inman of @TheOatmeal comic, and friend of the brid… t.co/W26ligW8a… t.co/Dq6t2ZV2E…

Here’s some new ideas on how to spice up your wedding reception from Surrealtime Media! t.co/XG5Nxwo1m…

Perth friends, should I pack a jacket for tomorrow/Monday?

#briswed #brisbanecelebrant #gccelebrant #weddings #wedding #bridal #celebrant #goldcoas… t.co/1sJMrC8nE… t.co/T7juLP9et…

Jong-Moon eerily and awesomely recreates the iPhone 6 and Apple Watch keynote, with Steve Jobs t.co/pEfDQFRbQ… via @jiggityk

#New tie day! #awwywah#suitup t.co/3MLHy45rw… t.co/EBbIyn8qx…

Eight more ancient wedding traditions you can learn about then forget again t.co/2oOQWGrtd…

Brittany Snow-Withers and I both just commented “wow” on a toilet paper deal at Woolworths so do we get the pension now?

Australia’s terror level has been raised to high, but don’t be alarmed it’s still 3 levels behind our ‘People Different To Us’ threat level.

Ben+Sarah #marriedbyjosh photo by @alcornimages party at @springfoodwine t.co/A55u9bEJk… t.co/fdF8AGR7R…

Ian Thorpe thinks Ricky Martin is fully sick.

#marriedbyjosh t.co/Z0NtBtxKB…

So just to clarify, is our national security level “high” or “get high”?

Number one reason I love my wife is for SMS about the mayor like this t.co/gl9xi0aKL…

Well someone got lucky last night t.co/BTFCDfFIf…

My old breakfast radio show is looking for a new host! t.co/XLlyPD0pR…

Rest in peace, Richard Kiel. Here’s a photo of the time the Bond villain had my head in his hands. A gentle giant. t.co/CgflNbWA8…

“Just a short note to say a BIG thank-you! Before meeting you we were apprehensive about… t.co/fKHpFfUxo… t.co/LNz0v5TXF…

Get involved in Ben and Sarah’s lovely love story! Thanks to Alcorn Images and Spring Restaurant too! t.co/IaWgGRSAr…

Ok, stay with me on this one: Degrassi Park. A movie about an island where an eccentric millionaire has brought Degrassi High back to life.

Who amongst us can honestly say he has a face that’s a work of art, a smile that would light up New York City, and a sexy heart?

Thank you to every bride and groom that asked for my help in creating an awesome wedding… t.co/Myhaify5b… t.co/9mD1rkvMT…

How we used to register marriages t.co/iL0JJFud3… t.co/QRDcl36iW…

I’ve found running a small business a really tough gig, made easier by chatting to peopl… t.co/zDZ8KhaV1… t.co/LhLHWDacG…

I can confirm that I probably don’t have Ebola and I live on the Gold Coast.

Can anyone confirm if the P-Plater 300 car race is on today on the M1? Also, Qld govt, your road safety advertising isn’t working.

Australia needs a former national leader tweeting like the US has @dick_nixon. Whip out your iPhone, Bob, John, Paul, Malcolm?

Prediction: version 1 of the Apple Watch sees it as a slave to an iPhone host. By version 5 the watch will be the host, the CPU.

The New Fairfax, everybody! RT @danilic: Looks like “Essential Baby” have a new SEO guy: t.co/n2lfWtH2U…

Ebola just became very GC. Just wait ‘til all the kids are doing it.

Gwyneth Paltrow’s nanny is suing Apple over their misuse of the name ‘Apple Watch’.

In 25 years time are they still releasing annual #OMGiPhone updates?

From a long term branding and marketing perspective, what’s Apple’s long-game for the iPhone?

Does anyone else chart their email usage? I’m a nerd aren’t I … in other news: spam email is up this month t.co/Mc6OLmm8e…

Community TV has been flushed down Canberra’s loo, community radio is hiding in the shadows t.co/O0aDHtK0E…

Why I don’t roller coast [pic] — t.co/tW8Wy6ou7…

Some lovely feedback from Carl and Emily! #marriedbyjosh t.co/rpWpRL6Rc… t.co/9Cwjah9Ij…

Consider this Twitmas: I’ve just deactivated every fake, joke, random idea, cool idea, idea that I don’t have time for, Twitter account.

My worry of a Mosque opening in Currumbin is that a giant hole in the earth will open betwn it &amp; the Arundel mosque &amp; swallow us Christians.

Fleeting trip to Perth this weekend. Still managed to book myself onto a red-eye flight, like I always say I won’t do.

Well someone’s getting an iPhone 6 Plus for Christmas t.co/JSNkoPYFE… t.co/dI7u9jSyh…

A long, long, time ago … I can still remember how that clickwheel used to select things #RIPClickWheel t.co/ZSPVXPNF7…

Everyone settle down, Apple Pay and Apple Watch are only available in the US.

Apple completely redefines the watch industry by releasing a watch that will need to be replaced every September #gamechanger

Ppl aren’t pirating, they’re not watching ‘correctly’. Shift focus from we’re ‘being stolen from’ to ‘in the wrong marketplace’ #CopyrightAU

Boat right now t.co/yFsdGiCFL…

New #ThingCommittee podcast yo! Jo Stanley, Kate McKinnon &amp; Dan Hall t.co/INQE8U18N…

Tangalooma dolphin calls for help t.co/fHtqXycJC… t.co/fux6VjYxN…

“That’s the best wedding ceremony we’ve ever had on the island” - Tangalooma’s Events Manager. Why thank you sir!

Someone that collects the empty beer glasses. What does everyone else ca them? RT @JohnLacey: @JoshuaWithers – What’s a “glassy”?

Of course they’d give him the lowest paying job on the island.

David is an evangelist at heart, he just wants to convert everyone to the good church of Tangalooma.

Tangalooma’s biggest ambassador is a glassy named David. He’s the happiest and friendliest person on the island. And on the boat over.

Go home, Sun, you’re drunk t.co/3FIgirkHJ… t.co/wy26tuxUl…

But first, let me take a #celebrantselfie #marriedbyjosh t.co/MaljtqbKh… t.co/IgCosH4oX…

The guests sat in a circle #marriedbyjosh t.co/i6LHY9Uh2… t.co/HLkQ4gOK9…

The #bride arrived in a #helicopter! #marriedbyjosh t.co/GlW4maogE… t.co/yVnfaoypH…

And the bride arrives in a helicopter @ Tangalooma Island Resort t.co/UYi3qEn1Z…

Every day I learn a new way to love and be loved by her. It’s kind of sickening in an aw… t.co/31opqHmEq… t.co/uhxcBgX7h…

#Love is like an #Almond t.co/hjL295wBn… t.co/dJsQ9UXc2…

This little fella is coming home to Tangalooma today as well. He was rescued a few month… t.co/8iwQfXrtl… t.co/m2AznXysB…

This little fella is coming home to Tangalooma today as well. He was rescued a few month… t.co/NbKxI0eBG… t.co/ggKCXktcE…

F%^konomics t.co/GSvASQTkb…

Bye bye Brisbane #TangaloomaBound @ Tangalooma Ferry Launch t.co/1rHVYnQc0…

Island bound today for Ryan and Karen’s wedding! (@ Tangalooma Launch Dock in Pinkenba, QLD) t.co/Kdh38WpYa…

Fleeting catch up with my Dad this morning! Love that guy :) t.co/EwEobmaPh… t.co/8rbyZynxO…

#bnetraffic Traffic stopped northbound through Springwood on the M1 due to a dropbear on the motorway mauling a pedestrian to death.

Lee and Nicole wanted to make their wedding day all about their marriage. So today it wa… t.co/SLokUZpCX… t.co/WbISlglzu…

New research shows that we put a lot of faith in new research.

I ask a pre-marriage counsellor: What are the most unpopular things for engaged couples to talk about t.co/ffUdY4KUz…

In future seasons of #DWTS Ch7 will be matching professional dancers with massive luminous spheres of plasma due to local star drought.

Everyone’s ‘gramming #hashtag t.co/9seBsHiS7… t.co/zPgrEzMeg…

Father’s Day dinner at Britt’s dad’s place. He flicks this across the table informing me… t.co/CKcIxrbFM… t.co/ycgXYSSIj…

Why don’t lobsters share their food? t.co/F1ocjAJwS… t.co/jUu6Ib06h…

Happy Father’s Day, Dad! Thanks for keeping me alive for 32 years! t.co/A46CtMiiO… t.co/cJIktCY3t…

Britt bought me new ties today!!! It’s like a not-a-father-yet, it’s our wedding anniver… t.co/c9sBUY1AR… t.co/xRdMjzC4M…

#marriedbyjosh #celebrantselfie t.co/lBfCYGdoX… t.co/GInAIvhGF…

#ExplainAFilmPlotBadly Dad leaves home only to do more housework than he used to

“Successful people do what successful people won’t. Don’t wish it was easier, wish you were better” - Jim Rohn

#marriedbyjosh #malenywedding #celebrant #justmarried t.co/OYVYVuZOu… t.co/ilD2kCz37…

I quite literally just threw the GoPro in the tree #heypresto t.co/424OMOD3G… t.co/7gwmC4wv9…

Trying to find a bunch of money I had hidden somewhere no-one would look. Finally found it in my Google+ account.

“You were smooth, funny and not boring, that was a great ceremony!” Says Dan of his and … t.co/jwdeduSJl… t.co/4VoT71gup…

Breaking the news: PM Abbott meets India’s PM wearing the traditional headdress of their people. t.co/cRQOu1bt9…

#BOUQUETALERT … also, congrats Marcus and Annarie!! #marriedbyjosh t.co/8BqhAwFlm… t.co/jrCKJXueJ…

1990 called wanting their t-shirt back but then I told them about the iPhone 6 and then they hung up.

#BREAKING Research reveals that Paleolithic cavemen were really into cupcakes. The implications for those on the Paleo Diet are exciting!

Beware everyone, the sultanas container doesn’t contain sultanas. Stay tuned for more br… t.co/fJpRPSGh4… t.co/UU28QXzth…

All revealed: my secret sauce has been found! t.co/fRA7T67g4…

Why doesn’t Obama just tell Liam Neeson that ISIS have his daughter?

Everyone! This is your ultimate climate change bucket list! t.co/BM1KhJlPA…

John has instituted a ‘don’t use windows’ rule at @lightspacebrisbane. Luckily I use Mac. t.co/d49SnfgIb… t.co/ILGWNe5kK…

But first, let me take a #selfie with @tashofthrones &amp; @curst #celebrantselfie #weddings… t.co/clGLgDUnB… t.co/hxm52lEmX…

Day two of Operation: Touch The Beach, success! t.co/DgL7LeO0T… t.co/rGzP9NzHC…

Weddings years ago were crazy, silly, and weird, check out how weird they were in today’s blog post t.co/V6LOFoP2k…

Sabrina Salerno’s Boys Boys Boys t.co/hCVaUnA3o…

If you weren’t sure if today was an awesome day, the elderly gent sitting at the table next to me is watching “Boys Boys Boys” on YouTube.

Get amongst the love and sparkles in Katie and Dan’s Hillstone St Lucia wedding! t.co/LtG4MVOgo…

Love this print @hellobrittanyjane had framed for our bedroom #love t.co/YQiAYoBIM… t.co/xmRa2SYUF…

New season resolution: walk on sand daily. Because for crying out loud Josh it’s like 50… t.co/kONKIkbYp… t.co/ZS7sYoXYu…

TC 38: Claire Hooper, Lehmo &amp; Adam Zwar t.co/SCES2n5mm…

Breaking News: Dinosaur owner, failed resort owner, politician and mine-owner finally relents and allows himself to pay less tax.

If you like wedding magazines, you’ll love this one … not only because it’s got me in it :) t.co/XVXgIWhyd…

Nightmare on 13th Avenue #horrormovie t.co/eyjYDuK2G… t.co/yJS59IX6t…

I’m kind of really liking this cut. It could just be me wanting to be young however. t.co/VzcUtejAQ… t.co/ZxhXJmNa2…

I just took this “Hipster wedding SEO” campaign to a whole new level t.co/Sglb5g3Rp…

Please, no-one distribute my nude hacked iCloud photos. They’re all terribly photoshopped and not representative of my true nude self.

We had dinner with Tammy and Regan tonight, I married them a few years ago, and now they… t.co/iBw67FI19… t.co/DdF0nHhxm…

QLD Fire weather warning issued at 4:26pm EST | Issued: Monday at 4:26pm ESTDescription: Fire weather warningSum… t.co/i5rJs666n…

… I did google hipster alternative celebrant and I found you." 2/2

Email: “Let me know your thoughts on this, I know it is unusual and I am asking you if you would feel comfortable and ok to do it … 1/2

Just found my new favourite wedding planner t.co/4WFdolqtM…

OMG DID I JUST INVENT A NEW VIRAL HASHTAG CRAZE?!!?? #whitepeoplesolutions

#whitepeoplesolutions t.co/Cl0J56eE4…

“Hey Josh! Lee and I just want to send you a MMMAAAASSSSIIIVVVEEE thank you for being su… t.co/dMFaMbrmg… t.co/TEd3MeOHj…

Facebook Messenger really is this generation’s world war isn’t it.

Love this now tie, @twoguysbowties t.co/ieXc0deAX… t.co/VjzswRwKV…

And the bride wore … #marriedbyjosh #seaworld #seaworldwedding #goldcoastwedding #gold… t.co/RE9wNZwcu… t.co/5Mw9SoyaZ…

Can you guess where today’s office is!? Here’s part of the logo! #marriedbyjosh t.co/aqNJA3Cep… t.co/ewjUd6Avn…

I think I just got a great finance deal on a garage door opener, store owner said he had no remote interest in selling me one!

We just found a new bridal party position. There’s the groom, the best man, the groomsman and now: the worst man t.co/v8Cv4jHI0…

Is there a tool that tells you why a certain site ranks higher than yours for certain keywords on Google?

Get immersed in Lee and Courtney’s Maleny stunning wedding photos by Sunlit Studios! #marriedbyjosh t.co/4vCb1FaMw…

15 weddings in the first 15 days of September … oh my lord.

One of the groom’s vows for upcoming wedding “I vow to let your mother park her broom at our house when she comes to interfere, I mean help”

Tony and Karen excitedly #marriedbyjosh at #BroadwayChapel! t.co/RM5IawZow… t.co/riEozxzlJ…

Plot twist: GRL’s ‘Ugly Heart’ is actually a poignant political anthem.

Happy first wedding anniversary to Nathan and Lauren ‘surprise’ married one year ago today! t.co/AUP5sMpxL… t.co/wE5hgsGtJ…

The barista’s wearing shoes. I want my money back. (@ Barefoot Barista in Palm Beach, QLD) t.co/JqzISkJgM…

Simply wow #jazandtimwedding #weddinglighting #bangalow #babgalowwedding #marriedbyjosh t.co/yO65gRTGk… t.co/pGaXIT11L…

Sometimes I’ll marry a couple who’s love inspired me so much that I just can’t wait to g… t.co/kj1lEdp0p… t.co/njSZjTTu7…

Tonight’s office is a showground t.co/tdluFnNQW… t.co/zwDgSx0O1…

Bill Caralis' Superradio network’s weekend talkback is probably the closest Australia has to the Grand Theft Audio in-car talkback station.

An hour at Sea World makes me feel like I’ve been on holiday for days (@ Sea World Resort in Main Beach, QLD) t.co/q8AtGhZls…

Internet Explorer has encountered a problem and needs to close. t.co/Qa0oFyKQm…

Can we just stop and recognise that @Telstra is using a Postal Service song in it’s recent ads.

Goodnight little lighthouse t.co/chcyHUIQt… t.co/7LOgA6lkc…

Sometimes at weddings they release butterflies or doves. Tomorrow, we release The Krakken. t.co/im1XeunGA… t.co/mQBkc4mso…

Schapelle Corby: God’s gift to current affairs television.

The McMahons #celebrantselfie! #marriedbyjosh t.co/ObT6oyiYZ… t.co/QlNoljpMP…

The McMahons! #marriedbyjosh t.co/ym3NL6QDR… t.co/YJFsQ3I2K…

I’ve got more destination weddings booked in 2016 than local weddings! I’m going to need… t.co/MuxOeP9Rd… t.co/OJkqfrh3e…

From the guy that wrote ‘Call Me Maybe’, the definitive guide to writing a pop song t.co/DXXEwKqHv…

It’s lovely that the nine Gold Coasters with full time jobs not in retail or hospitality get a public holiday today.

Lulu has no time for Yoda’s rubbish talk this morning #hyperlapse t.co/QmckoeQiC…

#bradpitt #angelinajolie #married! t.co/wpoJvhkUq… t.co/OmzkLw6Wo…

Congrats Mr and Mrs Pitt! I made you a new movie poster :D t.co/lgSRrXfdv…

Congrats Mr and Mrs Smith #justmarried t.co/Uh5FcjIW8…

Everyone thinks this is great t.co/hF6NEN6ts…

Yo, therre’s a new #ThingCommittee #podcast with Jane Kennedy, Alice Zaslavsky &amp; George Donikian t.co/hFYBbdvV5…

GC Freebie: @Uber_GoldCoast launches today! Better, faster, safer than a taxi. Try FREE for a week t.co/dR48jE8oc…

Everyone thinks pre-marriage counselling is scary, so I asked a psych all the big questions t.co/x7aWNbrcE…

I’m having coffee with a pre-marriage counsellor right now. Why are you, or aren’t you, or did you, get pre-marriage counselling?

Dear collective nerds of the world, can you recommend a desktop printer, that’s not a $30k photocopier, that can print on 300gsm paper?

Check out these smexi cards that @sennajeandesigns created for my couples to read their … t.co/Xd9tpnKWG… t.co/UdWVwZazc…

Police blocking off Light Street in Fortitude Valley, sirens, lights, what’s happening? I can’t get to my office.

Digital radio just celebrated it’s 5th birthday in Australia. Still not in regional areas, still not in almost every car.

40km/hr when lights flash … or when on a motorway #motornoway t.co/hysealtki… t.co/xNiZ2YdA3…

The latest ep of the EntreLeadership Podcast is good “Go Make Something Happen With Seth Godin” t.co/k3S67k7vv…

“Why would you disturb me whilst eating?” - Lulu and Stevie t.co/h1ULK9RYF… t.co/cmmrgxc5M…

Brit and I are in #NYC from October 19 to 30, it would be soooo cool to do a #wedding wh… t.co/WUFuN2qyM… t.co/8gYs5404L…

These five words are the words most ignored by Australian marriage celebrants in the Marriage Act of 1961, which is… t.co/Ch3oWvBRm…

Any lawyers around? I’d like it if someone could give an interpretation of “or words to that effect”

I’m a wee bit teary eyed after reading Chris and Mel’s testimony about me being their celebrant t.co/dbob7pzPC…

“Pay any price to stay in the presence of extraordinary people.” - Author, Mike Murdock

Owen loves a selfie t.co/LmaqI5VwX… t.co/j8eYsiGke…

Since the last episode of the @ThingCommittee was released, 8mths ago, 8,226 ppl have listened. So there’s more coming. This is a teaser.

It’s equally awesome and terrible to see yourself in film t.co/rnIQpo2Cz…

Upworthy launches TV channel t.co/JaeaTsv9X…

Wow, this iPhone 6 leak is phenomenal t.co/pDJriGG0C…

Just a reminder of how we all used to use HTML frames a decade or more ago t.co/msy6PbzVL…

And now I feel old and ungrateful. And I want to play Wolf3D.

Now I feel bad because I complained that my internet connection is 2.23 original Wolfenstein 3D’s per second.

Lodged an @Internode line fault tonight because my Internet connection is maxing out at 3.6MB per second download speed.

Four common traits of shit weddings, things to avoid! t.co/xxp5sn2oa… t.co/FAwyjf7lq…

Say what you will about Google but it only took 24 hours for me to go straight to the top of the page one for “shit celebrant”

Avoid having a shit wedding: a how-to guide [Please share this!] t.co/HwT94Z1WV…

So when you see that stuff … vote away! The last time I almost won and I also got in tonnes of shit at Fairfax because I was nominated!

Fair warning: I’ll be annoying everyone soon asking them to vote for me in the Pedestrian Daily Blogster Awards because I’d like to win.

[My Best Tweets] (19RT, 6Fav) t.co/YO9saIKeF… (10RT, 6Fav) t.co/sfkoOiLoz… (6RT, 7Fav) t.co/cW3KBWBjA…

If you’re looking for a @mailbox betacoin to try the new #Mailbox for Mac Beta let me know, I’ve got three to donate

The Game of Thrones theme song just got upgraded to version 2.0 t.co/Ou0Q4wzsV…

Britt and I took a walk with, down, The Left Lane at Bilinga, pretty piccies inside! t.co/HFW5TFl0l…

Sam and Ellectra’s #elopement to #ByronBay with only four guests is covered on the @MarryMeCharlie blog! t.co/mhYMPpzBk… #celebrant

Katie and Dan’s #wedding story is covered in @polkadotbride … and of course I was their #celebrant! t.co/gEmO3TZHs…

That’s a new phone number to get a spam call from t.co/l1TsBlH25…

Poaching a GoPro … and an egg … t.co/dj4rBEsBP…

I do have a Fairfax news subscription though … so that’s kind of paid for

I’m equally ashamed and proud of the fact that the only online journalism I actually pay for is from @TheOnion …

90s textual masturbation, by @JohnBirmingham …. and I like it t.co/IMSLmPhou…

Why don’t we make BMX movies anymore? Particularly BMX movies with BMX dance-offs? t.co/um9BAJS5J… t.co/cfm5FtdkH…

Seth Godin’s insight on #Amazon buying #Twitch is particularily personal but powerful today t.co/98V2LTcLa…

Reddit user posts this photo saying “the best man lost the #weddingrings” t.co/QMLYwTR0z… t.co/eGBTC741W…

RG @hillstonestlucia: It’s that time of year again… Hillstone St Lucia’s Wedding Open … t.co/Bsv8uxEiO… t.co/WGMZEZsjz…

Gay weddings are the luckiest, or are they, I’m torn … need help t.co/QKdxoa2fZ…

In the Internet’s defence, how many famous Attenboroughs could there be?

#ChopperGate, three years ago today, never forget … @MolksTVTalk @FakeAshPunch t.co/7GtCowWtS…

Three day weekend starts now!!! t.co/IYfLxyvb6… t.co/39NLThowD…

So that’s where my data pack has gone … t.co/m9uffVNgE…

If you’re having a really good day and want to get unlucky, there’s a tunnel of unluckin… t.co/gAb8WdcyW… t.co/dBXZ2gwKO…

“We had an awesome day and you were wonderful. Thank you so much for everything.” t.co/ybXCrWncJ…

Back in my day business t.co/fcoMEFSti… t.co/kYCpm5tZf…

I just got nominated for the nice bucket challenge. Which sounds funny but is quite hard, there aren’t many nice buckets.

Good morning, #AirAsiaX t.co/2KUWe8Nsd… t.co/Gf1F1FiRD…

Scott and Freya surprised everyone with an awesome wedding tonight! #marriedbyjosh t.co/HpDIbaubA… t.co/GNMoGxTg5…

Rocking the surprise wedding with @paulbamford!! t.co/STzKz5Ks9… t.co/Z3AP1X4Mn…

You’re invited to an engagement party, not! It’s a surprise wedding night!! t.co/KCiUzabUO… t.co/Dr1CARIrw…

Clint, the groom, just said after I took this photo “mate, I thought you were going to b… t.co/8pMCb05Uw… t.co/hqRJzsKf8…

Today’s office looks more like a wet bar #weddingsattiffanys t.co/khZE4dm4d… t.co/nrxGO1gWS…

TV show idea: a remake of early 90’s 60 Minutes.

Congratulations John &amp; Rebecca! We found refuge from the rain under the #NewsteadHouse v… t.co/59Aq8egD1… t.co/DsJZYk6Ym…

Best thing about the rain: the motorway to the “Sunshine” Coast is empty!

The mice bucket challenge would’ve never had the same response.

You may now kiss your husband! t.co/VAAvUspi7… t.co/oTNPRWN9B…

Mr and Mrs Reincastle #marriedbyjosh t.co/lV1mw0HLN… t.co/0Spio7bIR…

Let me introduce you to The Reincastles! #marriedbyjosh t.co/e7KuW5Gjq… t.co/FWvx3Vovl…

It’s a … nice day … for a … wet wedding t.co/hnV2rjHw6… t.co/sZ4uUXacL…

Well, do you? t.co/W9AICcDUP…

RG @sweethopephotography: I agree @joshuawithers! Love it. @whitemagazine #regramapp t.co/vfFTsfxfE… t.co/4TD2PDQ4K…

My cheekiest spam email I’ve sent yet t.co/XGfCT1VP2…

Does anyone else want to see a full episode of Tool Time, with Tim “The Toolman” Taylor?

ClivePalmerStrokingNipple.gif vs.TonyAbbottWinking.gif t.co/DPh5lqkUk…

“If you are a journalist at a print publication, your job is in danger. Period.” t.co/CLOxkPxUk…

High school buddy just unfriended me on IceBucketChallengeBook!

What have I done? t.co/aW4IXc0bP…

Check out hte pics from Natasha and Gavin’s rainy day Noosa wedding by Aaron Shum Photography! t.co/B2Tq9xCYR…

237 same-sex Australian couples have gotten married in NZ since they brought in marriage equality laws t.co/z7a42msNH…

Stevie the cat is hesitant about joining #TeamAustralia

This hat’s got 99 problems but a witch ain’t one t.co/ljEUGEUZb… t.co/aPPIIbwHi…

Second anniversary coming up soon! (@ Gucci in Brisbane) t.co/WInZzayPn…

Confession: whenever I hear a @janoskians song I imagine that @nicwkelly is the lead singer

There’s been something playing on my mind recently, it’s a hard topic to speak on, but, I’m all about that bass, ‘bout that bass, no treble.

#velleronhouse #topsecretweddingvenue t.co/TLGbNJn3K… t.co/YYyo5lvzU…

#velleronhouse #topsecretweddingvenue t.co/LYOZdPIh5… t.co/GG2r5oFqS…

Velleron House #topsecretweddingvenue #velleronhouse t.co/g1f0iIpa8… t.co/1AUzAzJXo…

Tough mixup competition, @dkonsky t.co/06wYlhNvJ…

I like this, how a password changed @manicho’s life (I’ve done something similar before!) t.co/DhhX7e9xI…

Self-employment is a haunted house of emotions. Also, who do I give my medical certificate to? Asking for a friend.

#TeamAustraliaFYeah t.co/fARJDOggC…

Just now, @hellobrittanyjane being shot by @paulbamford for @whitemagazine t.co/kZIXhKLO1… t.co/ytIjQefZa…

Robot + photos. Yes please! #ThankYou, @theleftlanephotographs!!! t.co/KUxB3v7Gq… t.co/9HlLBnHsp…

Any software developers around that specialise in Google Calendar/Apps API stuff?

This self-employed thing is all consuming isn’t it. I don’t know a life outside of Gmail, Quickbooks, Google Calendar and my word processor.

Talent: @JoshuaWithers &amp; @hellobrittanyjane Photographer: @PaulBamford Director: @mrsbam… t.co/sLrWCJazh… t.co/krPKwftky…

Flowers for @hellobrittanyjane from #albaroses! t.co/aBCm7UbRq… t.co/X3nk3M3G1…

Rockin the @vintagebridemag #weddingfair today! t.co/mlN7ilv00… t.co/pDoTtZqHZ…

“It’s such a relief to meet a #celebrant that’s a normal person!” - bride just now at the #vintagebride #weddingfair #weddingcelebrant

Vintage #Bride #WeddingFair at the home of the Broncos today! t.co/kS5R2SXE8… t.co/YqXjGOfRo…

Is running for a seat in the next federal election with a single policy against Facebook Messenger a sure win? Asking for a friend.

The Presland’s! #marriedbyjosh t.co/Yk9OlPUrC… t.co/18wuk2tXk…

#marriedbyjosh at #AmoreGardens #CurrumbinValey t.co/YKI5c3GMs… t.co/r6lDC6AEY…

The ‘Classic Josh’ :) t.co/zXn4F74df… t.co/WUFwFHhVF…

This is rap music t.co/hWXU60LZO…

#marriedbyjosh at #Noosa and photo by @aaronshumphotography t.co/iZjnDHbfd… t.co/vJsB9k5wv…

#marriedbyjosh at #Noosa and photo by @aaronshumphotography t.co/AiuXGFM2E… t.co/AwbhE7khu…

#marriedbyjosh at #Noosa and photo by @aaronshumphotography t.co/gdcI1d1e8… t.co/rQPQY3O0V…

#marriedbyjosh at #Noosa and photo by @aaronshumphotography t.co/3PrMiMDwR… t.co/noBY2p1iN…

#marriedbyjosh at #Noosa and photo by @aaronshumphotography t.co/NDZh01SkX… t.co/KDs8BWsCP…

#marriedbyjosh at #Noosa and photo by @aaronshumphotography t.co/aJG2tHtXB… t.co/GbunqQCVu…

“There is no combination of words I could put on the back of a postcard. No song that I … t.co/7XlAMdKUn… t.co/7wH7WY7Hs…

One of these two has love in their eyes, the other is dead inside because they’re wearin… t.co/ZlzzVnpLv… t.co/7hgq7powp…

License To Wed on channel Go!!!!!!!! #RIPRobinWilliams t.co/vewQLGNtG… t.co/qMo4cahbn…

The power of Christ compels you!!! #LicenseToWed #RIPRobinWilliams

License To Wed on channel Go!!!!!!!! #RIPRobinWilliams t.co/uIIHQtPQn…

May I present to you Mr and Mrs Bowman! #marriedbyjosh ▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃ Location: #Mod… t.co/khP2TpTD8… t.co/yey7fP5A4…

I brought someRobin Williams wisdom into Nikki and Julian’s wedding tonight: “You’re not… t.co/GW6MdHMMa… t.co/cLIfH0ZKF…

There’s some crazy wet weather forecast for this weekend, have you planned for it to rain on your wedding day? t.co/WsEWuY36q…

One year ago #Bali #quad t.co/9WVygEWPU… t.co/rPJVLjSCY…

Movie idea: “@JoeHockey’s Big List of Things Poor People Don’t Have”

There’s an interview with “The Young Celebrant” in issue 25 of @WhiteMagazine, you can read it here! t.co/aGY8CQtD9…

Time to do some #celebrant professional development t.co/MaX6dXrWb… t.co/Uj0rjbad2…

Robbie Williams holding Annie’s Boobs #Community t.co/HXsxgLCQV…

Celebrants training day, and boy do I stick out like a sore thumb today (@ Indigiscapes in Capalaba, QLD) t.co/TcKib6yv3…

Chris &amp; Di’s #JewishFusion #weddingceremony was a ball! #muzeltoff ▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃ Lo… t.co/5WeuRVGH2… t.co/pdRBR4832…

This girl, she makes me feel like the luckiest man. Pic by @leftlanephotographs #love t.co/Ttiy0eehT… t.co/YW7fFgZMU…

Seth Godin rocks my business world every bloody day. This one is killer ‘what’s it for?’ t.co/sp2M8Kcji…

Dear SEO experts that email me daily, get back to me when your website ranks on the 1st page of Google &amp; you’re not using a hotmail address.

I’m blowing ten crazy wedding traditions wide open, and Grandma’s gunna hate it t.co/c0JMkg88W…

Seven weddings everyone is glad to not be attending this weekend t.co/XEff3OIdv…

I’m at Robina Town Centre - @robinatc in Robina, QLD w/ 2 others t.co/8GA04SK4U…

It’s so good to catch up with like minded friends in business! @paulbamford (@ Paddock Bakery in Miami, Queensland) t.co/2m37avVuV…

See you at @vintagebridemag #Brisbane #weddingfair this Sunday at #Broncos Leagues Club,… t.co/TmGmARHZC… t.co/D3tICuKVp…

I spilled the goss on how I became a celebrant, how @hellobrittanyjane and I met, and al… t.co/flFz7lySp… t.co/ekHRpo3E9…

#surfersparadise from #bilinga #beach t.co/bQ2ksKipW… t.co/0ZDLg3jeY…

Kinda ❤️ this girl t.co/kcPd4llja… t.co/Up4p3Bbuq…

She’s my smile-maker t.co/8dE1sU2nR… t.co/SACo8zpBL…

Saw this #starwars #wedding #ringbearer and thought of you @jedileelee :) #starwarswedding t.co/QevKvBPT0… t.co/mhGxKebfz…

We’re revolutionising the #selfie industry with #lazyselfies t.co/ABA4UKBpw… t.co/8wsjkskPn…

Why, hello there my little White friend! t.co/joKxh3N6K… t.co/oCShCkHer…

I’m looking for my wife, would you happen to know where she is? t.co/nKTVub9lq… t.co/K6K4tSMKM…

Love #Kitanobo’s photos from Emma &amp; Steve’s wedding on Friday! ▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃ Locati… t.co/JteoF8qaz… t.co/GTI68cLAs…

I’m here for my crowning #hairroyalty (@ Culture Kings in Southport, QLD) t.co/nnZpsmG0H…

Steve and Emma! ▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃ Location: #SaltBeach #Kingscliffe #NSW #Australia Cre… t.co/TMbMq9Vfm… t.co/lZF8aezXt…

In the past tribes/groups/churches found membership by being right or wrong. A modern tribe says “you’re welcome " t.co/PXzGocNyu…

Crazy face #celebrantselfie! ▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃ Location: #SaltBeach #Kingscliffe ▃▃▃▃▃▃… t.co/NSOf8VLMv… t.co/jjawRMcUB…

Have you seen my fancy (and massive) wedding song playlist? t.co/EhoXsyqM8…

Wedding-learn with the #Kardashians …. t.co/ZFOUqzd1e…

I have a confession to make. I love animated wedding GIFs t.co/y5SHQxAVj…

“Antiques Roadshow appraised my 2008 Toshiba TV” t.co/eRx1EgAU6…

Pretty much nightclubs when I was nightclubbing RT: @JohnLacey: My nineties dance playlist on @Spotify t.co/3MuEqkgya…

Facebook Messenger’s terms &amp; conditions is such a literary hit it’ll only be a matter of days before they announce the movie.

The Megaw’s!! ▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃ Location: #TheLanding #Dockside #KangarooPoint #Brisban… t.co/uNaseiHSd… t.co/TwSmR9yrw…

Britt doesn’t rate it, but I just had a ripper comedy podcast idea: me walking people th… t.co/pgp5jaIK8… t.co/12pLyrsSc…

Ely and Andrea’s wedding had more feels than a Michael Bolton concert today #MrAndMrsDic… t.co/dnlYyF7G3… t.co/0vfPsxseh…

Ely and Andrea’s wedding had more feels than a Michael Bolton concert today #MrAndMrsDic… t.co/CRv654AxQ… t.co/k9MOrNamK…

In retaliation @hellobrittanyjane t.co/9TBlVIPLS… t.co/iiny1BIWH…

#BREAKING White, non-war-stricken, generally happy humans complain about ‘being forced to use free social network’s free messaging app’

Well that’s a first. Watched someone steal my GoPro in the middle of a wedding ceremony.

Hey ‘media’, you guys are going to frikkin love this edition of @iLoveGGLetters #biggestloser t.co/4nH8V4240…

The #ByronBay hinterland was perfect this afternoon! Congratulations #MrAndMrsDickson! #… t.co/1US8OFrxd… t.co/oXm0L1iF4…

I present to you, #MrAndMrsDickson! #MarriedByJosh in the #ByronBay hinterland, #PossumCreek t.co/pfkJZc6EX… t.co/NGY5JWga4…

Don’t get me wrong, I like John Legend, and I like ‘All Of Me’ … but there’s other songs t.co/6gYybigji…

Ginuwine is joined by Tim the Toolman Taylor in this refreshing remix of Pony Time featuring Tim’s grunts t.co/G6W9R86OV…

Idea: release a really cool book with a great premise and cool cover. There’s a massive market for buying cool books that don’t get read.

“The best guide ever to writing your wedding vows” said someone who knows things about weddings, about this blog… t.co/oth3GlHRS…

A comprehensive and detailed guide on how to memorise and remember your own wedding vows t.co/oTs4UJXRF…

The McLucas’s! #marriedbyjosh #wedding #love #kingscliffe #saltbeach t.co/JqeFq2DsS… t.co/sVKkAxzti…

Don’t be fooled by the ties that I rock, I’m still, I’m still, Josh without a knot #elas… t.co/PnTdLapyQ… t.co/DGdPYRpc2…

Dear radio execs, here’s a free idea. A radio station that only plays Five, hosted by the members of Five #justsayin t.co/ARNhGumFn…

I just saw a netbook in the wild. Everyone remember net books?

Here’s the heads up: you don’t make chocolate cake from poo, and you don’t make awesome weddings from Google t.co/Tk2PowJBB…

There goes the neighbourhood t.co/3YF1PlzlX…

The iPhone Paramedics are here to help t.co/Uouitrfk7…

I liked a @YouTube video t.co/lsOGJ3H3L… iPhone Paramedics

We’ve all been there #MotorwayLyf t.co/OuMOQruy5…

Instagram’s Snapchat competitor, Bolt, is now available in Australia t.co/SyoOc0twv… t.co/asU4rvtxk…

Instagram’s Snapchat competitor, Bolt, is now available in Australia t.co/f2fmfcop2… t.co/gh9bpLBvG…

I achieved that much today that it would take the government a few weeks to sort through today’s metadata.

What’s my guilty pleasure? 5ive #KeepOnMovin

Rehearsing for a pretty cool wedding happening this Saturday! (@ Dockside Apartment Hotel in Kangaroo Point, QLD) t.co/JgsvmbPcO…

Actually got to catchup with my favourite Texan! t.co/AT611VKjN… t.co/fNISRkULN…

Thank you, Corey &amp; Claire!! #marriedbyjosh #weddings #brisbanecelebrant #mavisskitchen t.co/AedZ3KlZb…

Now that I’ve got the all-clear on what metadata is, I’m only visiting websites now, not web addresses #phew

Good morning from Salt! t.co/L9Vfxsha1… t.co/CSHBt2WYk…

I’ve typed ‘celebrant’ so much on my iPhone that it just auto-corrected ‘cake ebrsbt’ to celebrant … correctly.

Good morning, #Coolum t.co/83oGc3mv6… t.co/YvmZrS3c1…

The Australian Expendables would be Harold Bishop, Alf Stewart, Alan Jones and Paul Hogan.

Surely if Michael Bay just stopped making movies we’d get world peace? #simple

QTAX or QTRAX? t.co/G7dmHdzIV…

We went to Australian living treasure, dinosaur owner, miner, future prime minister and … t.co/c5J00atJe… t.co/PEVtxssPn…

Clive Palmer feeds his dinosaurs real-life airplanes instead of spoons that sound like a… t.co/mi1gX9T6A… t.co/cMvbGPnjJ…

#DanceLikeDelta #LeaveDeltaAlone

Running my first #celebrant training workshop with @samicelebrant at #TheSummit at #Moun… t.co/KvVDncBLh… t.co/d9RmHosvs…

Preparing the presentation for my first celebrant training workshop on Sunday // pic by … t.co/evT9xpXsW… t.co/PH30PXYB6…

Stevie loves her mane #not #catsofinstagram t.co/ZJkix3bj4… t.co/2Gnf9a9JR…

Dom &amp; Bridget! #marriedbyjosh #wedding #sirromet #love #weddings t.co/rcHZNquVN… t.co/rWD25aEZm…

Dom &amp; Bridget! #marriedbyjosh #wedding #sirromet #love #weddings t.co/WIDh2KYsI… t.co/fOhE5dyFt…

Dom &amp; Bridget! #marriedbyjosh #wedding #sirromet #love #weddings t.co/pdN22YI50… t.co/7KWsaDT8T…

My creative and awesome bride, @hellobrittanyjane, had a wax seal made for me and I’m tr… t.co/DR8FrQWHb… t.co/3IRQ15mxw…

Me doing @lovelockedco at @lightspacebrisbane by @callie_marshall and featured in @polka… t.co/8n2krWj7M… t.co/V9o0woCjt…

I had a video idea t.co/3o5YpthfS…

Guess who just broke into the Texas wedding market?!!!???!!! #weebitexcited #popupwed

#Ikea does #wedding styling now? t.co/mGyJdMd00… t.co/AXLUDffWx…

Researching costumes in-case Dianna wins #TheBachelor and needs a celebrant t.co/GwenKJJBh… t.co/34yw6uYzX…

Today @hellobrittanyjane dressed #steviewithers up and she looks great, I’m not lion, th… t.co/RTPFaUxzW… t.co/ELqhWscg2…

Idea for Disney and hospitals: Disney sponsor the children’s ward and rename it the X-Wing of the hospital. #StarWars make hospital cool.

In-app game purchases are the 2014 version of the Timezone token.

I want to win a copy of the DirectoryEngine Wordpress @thingie so I tweeted about it. You can too: t.co/MdYa1HJWV…

Apple just put a few dollars on the nose of squashing talk radio t.co/TanHXCUK1…

Britt and Josh take Tasmania! t.co/wQ69d8X1u…

Jillian shares her wedding ups and downs, and why she and Brandon chose who they chose for her wedding t.co/MdcP5XKns…

Me, at #adarlingaffair last week … rocking @thephotoboothguys' name badges at #thechap… t.co/OL466bMn7… t.co/Ac7itVnq9…

4 degrees on #MountWellington at the moment … plus the wind, so windy #withersintassie… t.co/5AqV2EXYL… t.co/b9NBRjqyt…

Roadtrippin' #withersintassie t.co/02b3Omp1c… t.co/enN8Y62XM…

It’s important to try and see the Brittany through the trees #oldtassiesaying #withersintassie t.co/BIxJVQYJ6… t.co/DG3PrvXVM…

Builders at work #withersintassie t.co/TW6BbNOHA… t.co/vgmqigIPq…

Antarctica bound #auroraaustralis #withersintassie t.co/lcdqza6AH… t.co/mCMtX9xxG…

Up there behind the most and clouds is the usually glorious #CradleMountain. A selfie of… t.co/ylOrbCpdQ… t.co/zVapLm9cb…

Over 1600km in four days #withersintassie t.co/wZle2Yjjk… t.co/7ajz42LDm…

This girl rocks! The #BayOfFires is ok too t.co/IJWBzccxq… t.co/iQtRHSSu0…

Frikkin Tasmania #withersintassie t.co/zRFtvyyKC… t.co/3njBm2IuF…

Walking past radio stations you’ve worked on but never been to the studios #radiolyfe #l… t.co/HwW5q6g1e… t.co/AFaUZMwt5…

Dora the explorer. @hellobrittanyjane t.co/E958YW9eh… t.co/y6QeMzf28…

Apparently #Siri is on annual leave too! t.co/TFEWeyPaC… t.co/58jBVvz2G…

Rainforest adventuring! #withersintassie t.co/fyS0inqQL… t.co/2h58AXWWS…

This house has a terrible backyard #BassStraitUpLegit #withersintassie t.co/09x1ylexS… t.co/uQCKmMM2x…

She wanted to stop to ‘meet and say hello’ to the cows. She’s a little too excited, but … t.co/vuJaRTbeb… t.co/gtnPEOq70…

Bass Strait? More like Bass #StraitUpLegit t.co/0zLJUl4PD… t.co/Ipy8aj3mZ…

Nailed it! #withersintassie t.co/MtEo6hNeI… t.co/1VMQ3RSBt…

1st attempt #letstakeaselfie #withersintassie t.co/35SwSjBMA… t.co/zIMvTqOK6…

#hydroelectricityselfie #withersintassie t.co/4AtOzet54… t.co/1VPwRxto9…

Took @hellobrittanyjane to meet her Tasmanian relatives today. Got a cold reception #wit… t.co/RzH9vimLK… t.co/XlMyyrASI…

Quality time with @hellobrittanyjane #withersintassie t.co/D8rQZlWie… t.co/4BOfb8tZz…

The last time we were in Tasmania @hellobrittanyjane ended up in jail. Who knows what co… t.co/MMscUrhIj… t.co/vJn3OpM5B…

I received the loveliest thank you gift from Kobie and Andrew today! In Roman times rece… t.co/el8S5XPoJ… t.co/LmXNsKRRW…

One of my best photographer buds has just discovered/rediscovered #Instagram, please wel… t.co/9bltNWm4A… t.co/vPmwhXG2d…

Katie and Matt’s Cherbon Waters wedding, check out these piccies! t.co/osI5WjoqP…

After the craziest week I’ve ever had, I’m in Safe Mode today t.co/q0io5ywVs… t.co/rs0raMPUn…

Things we missed last week t.co/c1haqwPHd… t.co/pcpbuspGO…

Congrats to Bill Scully for winning celebrant of the year at the @weoaweddings #qldawards. t.co/BXsMQHzhK… t.co/E7ogWxJvh…

Chatting to John and Garry on @NewsTalk2UE about cool places to get married in a minute.

Colour us pink, it’s the @weoaweddings #qldawards DJ of the year! Congrats Glen + g&amp;M DJs! t.co/PfE1b1e9l… t.co/NtESFz7mw…

The @weoaweddings #qldaward for best #weddingphotographer went to @milquephotography! Co… t.co/WeI83vr2L… t.co/o0MJPsdYr…

A bunch of celebrants in a photobooth … I wanted to pick a/the winner t.co/E9zKZAik0… t.co/xWnCiIskQ…

Congrats to @summergroveestate for winning newcomer of the year at the @weoaweddings #ql… t.co/6DkzT7fKs… t.co/VOWuiEdvC…

Congrats to @showoffproductions for their @weoaweddings #qldaward!! t.co/pb7mCq7yG… t.co/OU598Iqko…

#BrisWed represent at the #WEOA #qldawards t.co/A0iEXYYuh… t.co/2RWDMDmQE…

Missing my favourite human like crazy tonight!!! Can’t wait to catch you in Hobart airpo… t.co/B5cANVDnw… t.co/q9x5oiUNK…

#lovelocked #weddngfair tomorrow, 11am at @lightspacebrisbane! t.co/rWIg6TBuv… t.co/TKzfKdorI…

Hey there @_weekendedition! Thanks for the plug for @LoveLockedCo tomorrow! t.co/q7C4QBKr0… #lovelocked

I’m at Woolworths Carseldine and they’ve got an ‘ugly fruit and vegetables’ stand, $2 for a bag. Nice work, @reddit t.co/ItnJAGaiN…

Is there a business ATM in Brisbane that will give you change for a til?

#adarlingaffair’s bridal models and this ridiculous #celebrant t.co/zuMoqcfff… t.co/EBxHfd5bX…

Lurv #succulents - this is @fairlightblessed’s stall sign t.co/7lQlglnBc… t.co/C01ySvZzJ…

Picked @hellobrittanyjane a little gift from @fairlightblessed’s stand at @adarlingaffair t.co/VQLiJ8ilU… t.co/uMQqvxXfb…

A @penelope_the_celebrant for your thoughts #apennyjoke #adarlingaffair t.co/TbtD1E5vp… t.co/mvrblxC4l…

Love good paper! @_maytidestationery’s stand at #adarlingaffair t.co/hmbsJASj4… t.co/0i1DdVT96…

Look who I found! It’s #brisbanecelebrant, @marriedbylinds! t.co/AKO3jH18v… t.co/YyWdU6REp…

I’ll be banned from @thephotoboothguys' #Instaprinter before the end of the day at #adar… t.co/qYjMaFgwA… t.co/My5xHb27o…

A Darling Inception #adarlingaffair #thephotoboothguys t.co/OuXGlHvpe… t.co/JErMPIL65…

Let’s all go to the fair! #adarlingaffair t.co/lY8rVvkqT… t.co/HgEYk51SH…

Bowls looks like fun! @ Woombye Bowls Club t.co/zFY8pZ2FP…

Today I’m at #Woombye for #ADarlingAffair, the #SunshineCoast’s coolest #weddingfair! Co… t.co/zGCIn6Spz… t.co/jMYdtyO21…

Freakiest podcast I’ve listened to, ever #TheTruthPodcast t.co/c4AGP6guu…

2.8❄️ at #PalmBeach t.co/YGr8iiWgI… t.co/N1LFcGG8m…

I said, THERE’S SOMETHING IN YOUR BEARD! t.co/L34cl9LV4… t.co/W6cN7FxsC…

I liked a @YouTube video t.co/fJK9qCoiP… Uncommon Dietary Requirements

Where’s the nicest, most iconic,@McDonaldsAU restaurant in Australia? I’d like to take t… t.co/pKpx9WovY… t.co/iiuyPdxNo…

#lovelocked this Sunday in #Brisbane @lovelockedco t.co/qTPal0gVq… t.co/ovp6B5Wuw…

Being dressed by @blackjacketsuiting #menswear #suitup #suilife #lovelocked #mensstyle #… t.co/qTLXWC8XG… t.co/MUHyiqjZS…

Now that we’ve gotten rid of the carbon tax I can finally afford to grind up and smoke $50 notes in my pipe.

Talking about this on @NewsTalk2UE tomorrow morning t.co/3HzglY6nK…

Call me judgey but I’ll avoid a bearded man wearing a Slayer shirt carrying a bottle in a brown paperbag by the neck in the Valley at 1pm.

Three sleeps until @lovelockedco! #lovelocked t.co/8Afx6S7V3… t.co/2xIs3SvYq…

#justmarried #weddinglighting t.co/jxldRuUu2… t.co/u2V55WhCp…

New wedding fair stand!! t.co/GUGiMxcNF… t.co/2iOCsJJN8…

A beard bouquet. I’ll just leave this here. t.co/KnpKR7X7T… t.co/avlfII0tA…

Apple and IBM forge global partnership … Steve Jobs rolls over in his grave.

Just another night in the M1 carpark. t.co/NoZZNray6… t.co/lbV0SHP53…

I’ll swap you a 1999 @TripleJ #Hottest100 CD for your 1999 Barina #BuyMyBarina t.co/HDtqDso5n…

Say hello to my little Paypal Here friend! t.co/EZdx2tx8x… t.co/E9GLbHSuI…

“The phone call is greater than the Facebook comment” - modern saying I just coined

What’s with everyone keeping peeves as pets? Doesn’t everyone know they’re dangerous?

Britt and I are scouting for Sydney venues for the @popupwed, how cool would Cockatoo Island be!? t.co/YyH5ouomN…

“You can’t have a better tomorrow if you are thinking about yesterday all the time.” Inventor, Charles Kettering

This girl #vscocam #gopro t.co/AUyRmEdZq… t.co/NRQbXYO2n…

#lovelocked @lovelockedco t.co/C7EsfJLfW… t.co/5pDF9pVya…

Wifey got me some gloves so my fingers don’t fall off in Tasmania … eight sleeps!!! t.co/mGyqMFUWz… t.co/J7xr60mBj…

I wish I could tick some boxes in category 3. Renewing my insurance could be so much more exciting. t.co/U27oUkQVc…

Pretty proud to announce that I’m going to be taking up a Certificate IV in Reading My @Telstra Bill.

Turn back the firetrucks t.co/tCRN5393b…

Trying my hand at Reddit advertising. Watch out /r/perth tomorrow!

I just can’t believe that King Missile haven’t had more hits.

These wedding photos by photographer Colleen Niska are causing a bit of a …. whirlwind … t.co/oOIwkiMFH…

Ian Thorpe’s sexuality isn’t news. Ian Thorpe’s sexuality being news, is news. More in our 6pm bulletin.

Blurry night selfie! #marriedbyjosh t.co/proalcMuc… t.co/0LQZAM7cC…

Fire near Kessels Road, anyone know what’s up, I can see smoke plummeting from the western side of the M1.

They met on the escalator at #Myer and got #maried at James' family’s favourite place to… t.co/1znnFkaCA… t.co/lQgomSpSt…

#marriedbyjosh #jamesandamy ▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃ Location: #binnaburra #beechmont Credit: … t.co/YQZWERNdU… t.co/vA6iwTMqC…

A better angle #queenslander #beechmont #cropcircles t.co/qYkCgSW8u… t.co/kbNZuI5yZ…

Spot the crop circles #queenslander #beechmont t.co/ZkkDYR5OB… t.co/XbECw9ox0…

So many Australian #podcasts have more listeners than Brisbane #radio shows. t.co/cJnoiF82r… t.co/kRKL3d2FF…

Claire and Corey’s high school sweetheart romance just overflows into their wedding day … t.co/i78o8aN6i… t.co/xGU7FIlLW…

If the question ‘have we become selfie obsessed’ makes it onto TV, things are pretty good on planet earth atm t.co/IMeaWxmzr…

My creative and breathtaking wife had an idea for a contrasted photo shoot. She pulled t… t.co/V1Ider5QR… t.co/oO7KqzftN…

Dear old nerds, many many many moons ago an @APCmag cover CD contained heaps of really old PDF editions of the mag. I’d love to find this.

My fruit juice brings all the girls to the yard t.co/2btgsLrZT… t.co/yLIzVc79k…

Ran into my grandpa at Australia Fair this morning and taught him about selfies and the … t.co/QLp5Dsfxa… t.co/ugEcBtL65…

The world’s so politically correct these days. t.co/zOnZuKcPG…

Reached a whole new level of receipient-of-celebrant-anger today as a celebrant from Victoria corrects me (incorrectly) on my blog. Bless.

Well that explains my brain hurting last month t.co/p8vYNrz1p…

In some cultures people would worship me now #inboxzero t.co/ABERHFgpQ…

Anyone know anything about official Instagram advertising I. Australia? Is there someone you call?

Dear Mazda, the Mazda3 speedometer is wrong. Sincerely, Mitsubishi Lancer driver borrowi… t.co/9Iq6AC9OZ… t.co/JU84URI7C…

Scouting for future #lovelocked locations! t.co/cfX4cSc1p… t.co/qTraoIX2x…

I could see it taking off, @cjjosh t.co/eeI1S3Voi…

Back in #Perth for the @popupwed on September 15! #popupwed t.co/X8KNhjiFk… t.co/L20KBukQg…

A #TeamMellish stamp #besstampever t.co/y6R8Qrxon… t.co/YRvGR9AVl…

A #TeamMellish #thankyou envelope #totallengend!! t.co/u23nYijp1… t.co/b234oE3uV…

A #TeamMellish #thankyou note #totallengend!! t.co/7GdBVzbue… t.co/2CTtCyyB9…

The @popupwed &amp; its inspiration @popwedco are featured in this week’s #WeddingsForALiving podcast w/ @debbiequain t.co/8WmJL2WSJ…

Dear comedians, why now Brazilians waxed jokes today?

I wrote a little awesome thing on how to write kickass wedding vows for @polkadotbride on@pdbwisdom t.co/pRPBcIMQL… is the

Well, at least Brazil won the Hottest People In The World Cup, which is arguably better than soccer.

“You asked if there was any piece of advice that I could offer any of your brides out th… t.co/5joxnE7Zf… t.co/vrXcZ6qMt…

THANKS VONBIBRA! t.co/inHBc4Us8…

You will suddenly wish you had of read this free list of inspirational textual improvements earlier than today t.co/px5EgELZj…

Pink Floyd to release 1st album in 20y “I’m in the hi-fidelity 1st class traveling set and I think I need a Lear jet” t.co/ycIzbvCOO…

The waitress assures me we’re an adorable pair #dinnerdate t.co/HaePNzLgx… t.co/zQHPP9ljT…

Awkward #Perth t.co/9maFkBeoy…

A wedding invite for you! See you at @lovelockedco on July 20! t.co/56X3NmWYS… t.co/JeMoEs4e4…

I’ve got a wedding invitation for you. It’s a big fake wedding on July 20 at @lightspacevenue called @lovelockedco t.co/YGGBnUf2Q…

Is “sorry we don’t serve syrups here” the new racism? #coffeeism #stupidquestionsbyjosh

I’ve spent all afternoon making a belt out of my watches. I wouldn’t recommend it as it’s a complete waist of time.

This #firstlook by #bekgrace is so sweet and intimate ▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃ Location: #mavi… t.co/HzmxddHN3… t.co/FliWLsL4l…

The Nanny webpage, copyright 1999 t.co/iyoyGrzAu…

I love it when Britt’s naked …. cakes #PGrated t.co/LjyWLpOKb… t.co/Qm1eJsr3Z…

Sorry Seinfeld t.co/hFUqraNTP…

“I CAN’T THEY’RE SHUTTING ORKUT DOWN!!!!!” - no-one

Spotify does to iTunes what iTunes did to CDs what CDs did to Cassette Tapes what Cassette Tapes did to Vinyl … t.co/rjPznVKf6…

Here’s looking at you, kid t.co/eVYkDp3rE… t.co/GkEVzoNkN…

Thanks to @thephotoboothguys I am immortalised in polka dot! t.co/UXcQLlc9x… t.co/06QiPSUR8…

Love @thephotoboothguys! t.co/zIR7qPOLs… t.co/WPtWSwtGj…

I was snapped by The PhotoBooth Guys at #millard14 today! These guys have one of the coolest photobooths! t.co/mXziCb36F…

#kenilworthhomestead’s #rusticwedding dining hall is pretty darn #vintage t.co/E59QwCp35… t.co/c2hzmDUjY…

#marriedbyjosh at #kenilworthhomestead t.co/GHUCXenH4… t.co/BB3FMyV7d…

Kristen kicked #cancer’s ass and then said yes when Brendan asked her to marry him! ▃▃▃▃… t.co/uSWwp5Hei… t.co/1fxqc3a6h…

Congratulations Andy &amp; Meredith! #millard14 #celebrantselfie #justmarried ▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃… t.co/eRKypjYmJ… t.co/DWRKgqvIw…

Congratulations Andy and Meredith! #Millard14 #marriedbyjosh #celebrantselfie ▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃… t.co/nR9vEUZP2… t.co/C58qVd9Lv…

Kickass looking day from Kangaroo Point t.co/RKYl13qEo…

Media nerds and content creators will really enjoy @oshergunsberg’s podcast with @danilic t.co/T9mStNP77…

In an ideal world, girl’s would gossip about how hot a guy’s tie-knot was t.co/ZR6MhyJIH… t.co/y5Yt84pEB…

One year on I’m still quite proud of this piece t.co/TOS7BQZll…

“Guards, I order you to tie this Kangaroo down, indeed” - #RolfHarris being sentenced in my imagination

Deal with it t.co/DiD9nTzCA…

“Back in my day we had to deal with multiple popup ads popping up over the browser window when we tried to download a TV show” - us in 40yrs

Kahli &amp; Shane’s ‘backyard’ soirée, as featured on @polkadotbride! ▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃ Loc… t.co/gfhk7incP… t.co/IKFJPg5he…

1001grammers! W00t. Though I do note that I’m not following everyone back. If I ought to… t.co/qU4sIqpR8… t.co/dvS3I2JxF…

“YOLO” - YO-LO #RIP t.co/PPQVRfFwK… t.co/hAP66FAmk…

They call me ‘the one who laughs’ ▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃ Location: #MountTamborine #Home Cre… t.co/5RIKE4JLD… t.co/YlpKwWmRk…

I wish I had this when I was at Fairfax Media t.co/8oOrQOZU9…

That little wedding fair called @LoveLockedCo is on soon &amp; @polkadotbride had a bunch of lovely words to say about it t.co/63jMtJiBO…

Mind you, they’re all on their iPhones and Facebook whilst talking about it.

Sitting at a cafe listening to the table next to me recite stories from Sea FM this morning … maybe radio’s not as dead as they say it is.

I got a sneaky peek this week at the new @CloudlandBrisbane ceremony terrace that’s unde… t.co/g0mfvcD0t… t.co/mWL1vHOsK…

I meet the nicest people!!! Thanks Jed &amp; Rachel! ▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃ I’m the guy in charg… t.co/QUTJp0J9s… t.co/jv8EzEvXC…

Google+ just emailed me with a list of posts I missed, the only one being my own post … t.co/A5CR568V2…

For those of you following along. The “stolen” light bulb is still absent. But I’ve repu… t.co/YlPq9rpna… t.co/94PnvAylf…

At some point in the last decade our society decided talking or magical cars weren’t cool anymore. What happened to us?

Checking out the GC @popupwed venue with @hellobrittanyjane! #Summergrove #popupwed t.co/S6TJE2OMG… t.co/hWAvR6e1C…

Errrmmm someone took my lightbulb … #yaycoworking t.co/UJigL4IMO… t.co/QUFyLS9t9…

Reminiscing over 1995, the year that kid who just won Wimbledon was born in #NickKrygios t.co/1mzE8snL0…

I’ve got a new neighbour at @lightspacebrisbane! It’s Chaddy from @dearandtine! t.co/0Ym3h0BqQ… t.co/IIcS2wBEE…

$1 domain names today only at @mediatemple. Use the promo code Domain1 to buy random domain names for $1 today only. t.co/0SaEB9Ak5…

I’ve got a new neighbour at @lightspacevenue! It’s Chaddy from Dear and Tine wedding photography t.co/IUfeaRZkK…

He’s the hero Gotham needs, wants, deserves, everything. He’s Pantsman. t.co/Ysa5iBNqM…

I feel like I brought my wrong #makeupbag to #MeccaMaxima’s #makeupbagmakeover t.co/0VfKQPwC4… t.co/xkSUOktG0…

Picked @hellobrittanyjane up a prickly gift today because she’s been dealing with prickl… t.co/MR9rVFVEl… t.co/tSzsXLS2m…

Become an instant nerd t.co/IgofoPvtO…

People have accused me of not being ‘extreme’ enough to own a #GoPro … so here’s me being extreme t.co/qQQeLhU3t…

Well if this isn’t the creepiest darn video on the internet I’ll pee in my mouth t.co/PyClMALMi…

#MarryMeCharlie said “Marry me, Josh” and then we all got confused and then I ended up on their website t.co/pu3b2ahNN…

Ice on the window … good morning Quensland t.co/fANqdg4Cv… t.co/7ag7mbbBi…

Hello #gopro #selfies! t.co/eskG9Pdwt… t.co/PWRtXmPYa…

Happy #EOFYS everyone! t.co/hyaB0q11P… t.co/3MUYylzTA…

I liked a @YouTube video t.co/3LLsQB6l9… Radio Announcer on a Date

Does everyone else mystery shop their competitors?

Idea for a band name: Tony Abbott and the Beacons of Humanity.

Last night’s wedding was so much awesome. A 5:30pm #ceremony, live musicians including g… t.co/r5hcuOeOP… t.co/akeBwFo55…

Went on holiday for two hours today t.co/Gkz5JeASy… t.co/cAnNO7DRW…

#MarriedByJosh onboard the P&amp;O #PacificJewel! ▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃ Location: #Portside #Cr… t.co/GQ1JvNXce… t.co/9euxdYDef…

Breaking News: Just spent 5min wondering if it’s easier or better to just sleep in the car or go inside the house. Story is still developing

We don’t usually take a #celebrantselfie this late in the evening #rockon! ▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃… t.co/fPcTswVYa… t.co/y58Y5Kw1F…

#MarriedByJosh brought to you by coffee t.co/PVgrUafc1… t.co/m104hZdoG…

Idea: A Transformer that transforms into an actually good movie about Transformers.

QR codes on cars …. don’t work t.co/OT8eSImU9…

“I’ll sleep on you if that’s cool, Josh” - Stevie #catsofinstagram t.co/07sqE7M5A… t.co/MS9lVRs5x…

This girl has taken up so much of the work in our business that I’m not skilled at. She … t.co/quVysY0qs… t.co/eVC1I7JO8…

“Palazzo Versace said we had to call you!” #phonecalloftheday

Prettiest public toilet I’ve ever seen. Could also double as a chapel. t.co/GJMDEGePk… t.co/jZF8oXNSM…

Just created a new husband and wife out of these two lovebirds on #Marcoola #Beach with … t.co/jnIg3FYNV… t.co/gEQpYa0ul…

Very disappointing, there was no slippery dip in this toilet. t.co/1BlgyrQQb… t.co/x4Y5Vuzvj…

Another #marriedbyjosh wedding video! t.co/CZi9p1BZU…

Just caught an UberX car in Brisbane. I don’t think I’ll ever catch a taxi again.

Small ceremony, small reception, massive party t.co/ERDnPlTGH…

Big Day Out? More like Big Day Ousted. Yes, I did that.

My favourite coffee shop just got cooler! Plus I am now eligible to learn a free handshake. t.co/n0JR9rVy2… t.co/IofQCAGGs…

#FortitudeValley #Cyclist t.co/XGHMfBlX3… t.co/QTzMKJIdA…

Unit #FortitudeValley t.co/48JxfioPA…

An 18 year old girl writes from inside the Christmas Island detention centre t.co/M6eMVaWH2…

This story is developing #trainnews

And two strangers have disposed of their iPhones and are engaging in what seems to be a conversation #trainnews

Curly haired girl is breaking out the bold bright orange sweater today #trainnews

Balding guy is not thrilled at the prospect of going to work today #trainnews

Long hair girl is riddled with a disease, coughing furiously #trainnews

Light pink hair girl is doing great things with her follicles #trainnews

Time for the 8:10am train to a Brisbane news update.

Backyard weddings are often the best in my experience. Nathan and Stacey’s backyard wedd… t.co/gM81Dylwz… t.co/FokIRywbC…

Loved this intimate #chapel wedding with Jenni, Bryan, their kids, a few local friends a… t.co/mv91UpOay… t.co/ZusniBEQl…

All class, 7-11 t.co/M510cR9w4…

Oops #email #inboxzero t.co/mbgLOBycQ… t.co/KtWhKPzRi…

Scott Thomson’s guide on how to Fakebook gooderer t.co/eS7An2npp…

Gold Coast brides and grooms: we’re bringing the @popupwed to the Tweed Hinterland! t.co/hyR6ZtNZ3…

“A year from now you will wish you had started today.” - Community Activist, Karen Lamb

“I just wanted to send you both a huge thankyou! We are both so grateful and happy to ha… t.co/mrYX9UpRy… t.co/Ol1dTA75b…

Woohoo! Hamilton Island approved! t.co/PzMDEFEQH…

I’m probably the first business person to ever get excited about his contact page on his website t.co/aMHRsibmV…

A #beachwedding #elopement, still love this pic by #justforlovephotography ▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃… t.co/Y00GUEPeo… t.co/ay6CHa2zl…

Who was #PeterGretse’s employer at the time he was arrested in Egypt?

The moment I saw @jessizorko’s #weddingdress I was simply in awe. So original and truly … t.co/8psO5XWT5… t.co/CwGnvEsBZ…

Kind of in love with @avideas_corporate’s #weddinglighting ▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃ Location: … t.co/pbSdYLGEK… t.co/W1FVFhUKi…

That time that the Internet thought I was on the Footy Show t.co/Pt2c23ROV…

WHAT DOES CHRIS KNOW??? t.co/wPEmuwTKL… t.co/etSiPc1VD…

The #MikicWedding’s #photobomber continues to make me laugh - #regram ▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃… t.co/oerWbFPEZ… t.co/FAq3OxhKN…

Soft launching a new website tonight t.co/7uT5YmkJf…

Years later this is still the funniest thing on the whole Internet t.co/k4vklyDmy…

Here’s some #GroomStyle #inspiration from our #FrenchStyle blog post on @nouba_blog ▃▃▃▃… t.co/lTuP4v3h5… t.co/52GPd0XiU…

“Thanks for everything, you made our day very special. Nick said you really helped him f… t.co/gVQzxAWnR… t.co/NOUffbcCR…

Get amongst it! I’ll be performing a demo wedding ceremony there, so you can get a taste… t.co/uCnWWx6qU… t.co/bbZo3z6Hf…

Married at the pop-up wedding with no stress and no guests ▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃ Location: … t.co/oeD5OmtE1… t.co/aa26MOwL6…

“We would like to thank Josh for making our wedding ceremony all we had envisaged and mo… t.co/IniOjox4D… t.co/GDj5aPdo5…

Did you know that #ValentinesDay is a Saturday in #2015? I was booked out, but the coupl… t.co/kT0nXZIfd… t.co/3ef8EcAXr…

Did you know that Valentine’s Day is a Saturday in 2015? I was booked out, but the coupl… t.co/ZrTcmsEBe… t.co/BxhZfp1ch…

Ask the nearest child to you “what is #love?” and comment with their reply t.co/BsaxaHrGs… t.co/BJYbFQfCO…

“You made us feel at home and from that gave us a ceremony that was so personal and stil… t.co/jamkkc7VK… t.co/BDGMjWLG7…

What would Brian Boitano do?

A global village assembled today at the #StateLibraryOfQueensland for Kobie and Andy’s i… t.co/kznnCxbJW… t.co/jPgbl6118…

“After our big day nearly every single person that attended our wedding said what an inc… t.co/L2smamvcu… t.co/swjVSAeRl…

In four weeks' time the #SunshineCoast’s @adarlingaffair will have wrapped. It’d be so c… t.co/RgF9k8t2n… t.co/dOtlOuz8w…

Love travelling to #Canberra for a wedding! Even better to marry friends. And it’s alway… t.co/3zka8yvK0… t.co/jJQ4SEt3u…

May I present to you, Mr and Mrs Ewan #marriedbyjosh #selfie #celebrantselfie ▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃… t.co/yruMtOM0r… t.co/2tw1lwGwH…

At the very first #Lovelocked wedding fair hundreds of people got to take a real wedding… t.co/Xb8SyfKWJ… t.co/mxB7bIdyo…

From this day forward you shall be known as the Rissmans! ▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃ Location: #… t.co/LRJDhocUc… t.co/FcaeBtr4u…

Dan tried the classic ‘spill a drink on the girl’ pickup at a bar in #Brisbane, they got… t.co/snbegdm93… t.co/aVnoWffGz…

You’ve probably heard other people say that a wedding represents one thing or another, a… t.co/NeaK3OE5I… t.co/phL8C0ZVh…

This Stradbroke Island wedding was threatened by storm cells and rain all afternoon. But… t.co/Llu0Ld5LH… t.co/q1LZSB1TU…

Marrying these two lovebirds today!! ▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃ Credit: Chaddy from @dearandtine… t.co/U4Em2O0yX… t.co/RlOICYt9f…

Scrolling through my iPhone’s ‘Notes’ app and found this nugget of goodness from 1:09am … t.co/sFES3gjk7… t.co/dL5pJBFYS…

May the marriage force be with you, Meika ▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃ Location: #Glengariff Credi… t.co/wTZAgzDr8… t.co/uZU219RmJ…

“I promise to try not to frustrate you” one of my wedding #vows ▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃ Loc… t.co/f797EgEC9… t.co/PAvaNoPar…

You may now pash your bride like a crazy man! ▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃ Location: #TheRiad Cred… t.co/DA7sexXd3… t.co/SuNVyBQZ3…

Anyone know what characters these lines are in an @Instagram post? I assume they’re copied and pasted in t.co/hvun4cjEm…

This wedding is coming to my blog soon! #mountwarning #wedding #bekgrace #mavisskitchen…. t.co/BVGDwLzpf… t.co/K0bMlvo39…

Price to change $90 @JetstarAirways flight: $375. Price for replacement flight: $79. FFS.

Today’s office playlist: t.co/aYrcWLqDd…

#June #Kanye #MeetThePugs t.co/9eZ1jEbU5… t.co/yn3x6pcHC…

I hope you’ve made your way over to the @nouba_blog this morning to see @kylie_justforlo… t.co/hY3rCfoL4… t.co/UN1xIEWn7…

Me + a bunch of my awesome at friends all featured in this French inspired wedding shoot… t.co/Kf2TkCBKT… t.co/ExkMECySR…

Anyone know anyone that has a large format printer or plotter? A really big one.

Facebook’s down!!! This is just like the prophecy foretold!

Twitter now supports animated GIFs! t.co/HaxCH4A0d…

This explains why Twitter’s been sucking recently, I was oddly not following @danieljohnhall

Is there a support help desk for coffee? I think mine’s broken. It’s just not working fo… t.co/jiyk9H158… t.co/z0hlFrR93…

I wanna Yo you! Add my Yo username by tapping here: t.co/bwxGorjgw… t.co/os5SQ06P8…

Another one of @privatekanye’s early wedding photo edits found (by Matt Palmer of York S… t.co/VD2HJPSpT… t.co/zL134bK67…

Kanye’s lost wedding photo edits t.co/X69yMuIEA…

Did you know it took #KanyeWest four days to edit his photos ready for Instagram? Here’s… t.co/1aRiDF3RE… t.co/AG2CSkKgT…

Another one of @kanyewest’s wedding photo self-edits that wasn’t supposed to go public t.co/xvD5c6AsJ…

NOMINATED FOR BEST CELEBRANT IN THE UNIVERSE!!! (Queensland region) t.co/VFsGUE687… thanks @W_E_O_A!

#Kimye’s honeymoon was ‘interrupted’ because @kanywest had to edit his own wedding photos. Check out this early edit t.co/SVq5fvyqG…

I thought radio was a cool job. It’s got nothing on being the wedding celebrant.

A couple that will schedule their whole wedding around our holidays and my availability, just leaves me in awe t.co/91QNAP98y…

Nice shoot in @hellomaymagazine, @nickevansphoto! t.co/oOa225A0N… t.co/itZ83aK7e…

Seriously shitting myself because my decision to play @IGGYAZALEA almost got me killed.

I like public transport but recent train travels tell me that I’m almost always going to be sitting next to a student or a criminal.

Cool guys on the train playing hip hop on speaker. So I start playing music loudly. Then an undercover cop arrests them for weapons.

“Love is when you tell a guy you love his shirt and then he wears it everyday” - seven year old girl

If I can accomplish this in just one flight imagine what I could do if I set my mind to … t.co/RgGOPnFh0… t.co/WAchlcDTs…

So today’s office is probably the best in the known #wedding universe t.co/l247KmnJ6… t.co/OBoiOFCCc…

This girl has married a bridge (over troubled emotional waters) t.co/2lgGRAMMC…

Well, if I achieved anything today, it was ‘looking completely desperate to a PR officer’

A survey of all of the Sydney taxis I’ve caught this week tells me that 100% of Sydney listens to @smoothfm953

Good morning my old friend t.co/ogCfmdsf9… t.co/oWSi1Oz5Y…

Found my Bearded Friend™ somewhere in Sydney t.co/VFl093MAb… t.co/wImIMirfQ…

Spent an hour trying to find the Australian Technology Park so I could hear @photomatt answer two questions about #Wordpress

I don’t think I’m sage enough to be dishing out life advice, but I can definitely advise you never trust Apple or Google Maps in a big city

“You’re one connection away from being able to change your life.” - Author, Larry Bennett

Yo, Sydney, anyone up for dinner? I just had my evening open up.

AFP guy is a terrible photographer t.co/lzGSupGww… t.co/XxfAjil5i…

A TP wedding dress competition t.co/xWj0oKGBl…

Good morning from Sydney t.co/IwIxUnduR…

Where to get an awesome breakfast in Kirribilli? Assuming @TonyAbbottMHR’s not inviting me over.

I’ve come to Sydney to find myself t.co/We31ti8QL… t.co/XbCqGQ63k…

My driver is pleasant and I got a free bottle of water. Best non-taxi EVER!

I’m riding in a @Uber_Sydney car! THIS IS THE FUTURE EVERYONE! t.co/a7OR9uvZX…

Apparently tonight is the wrong night to signup to @Uber - SMS verifications not working. Taxi line about 4 bazillion km long @Uber_Sydney

This might sound obvious, but pharmacies at airports don’t sell razors. A little FYI for everyone playing along at home.

Inflight entertainment is soooo boring. Taking things into my own hands this flight. t.co/uMR92op7F… t.co/BbYivshX7…

Hi, @jessatpollenflorist! t.co/ZmtNVGLXH… t.co/VSPoFQkq4…

#vows #marriedbyjosh t.co/cQO2HVtJj… t.co/1LebUonHw…

FYI: #TheFaultInOurStars is not an expose on how the media unnecessarily celebrates celebrity culture. Good movie though, cried waterfalls.

Jun 14, 2014: t.co/L4Ce1w8ti… via @YouTube

Timelapse caught me dancing-moving t.co/YvoJdz63J… t.co/fHwYw34W6…

So honoured! At Shafston House they have a photo of me taking a selfie on the ceremony v… t.co/I615i1Ufx… t.co/s9tuZKr2n…

The #marriedbyjosh selfie with @whitepearlphotography sneaking in the back there t.co/8QQqI8MQo… t.co/iwRDZNK88…

#marriedbyjosh #timelapse @ InterContinental Sanctuary Cove Resort t.co/zGq4kk4Bo…

What everyone doesn’t realise is that Mike is the Australian version of Mile t.co/5ws2wyaa0…

Aussie, Aussie, Aussie, Mike Mike Mike!

I think there’s a little bit of Mike in all of us today #Socceroos #WorldCup #TonyAbbott #MeelayIsHardToPronounce

If you sign an NDA, can you say you’ve signed an NDA? Asking for a friend.

All of my email inboxes are 0:0 #scorrreeee

How about that local football team playing in South America today.

A study has proven that crayfish suffer from anxiety. That’s cray cray.

A darling chandelier #adarlingaffair t.co/TUFeUKTZp… t.co/qaaZximJl…

Hashtag sayinghashtaginreallife

My superpower is remembering the words to every Cake sing when it comes on the radio.

Pretty excited about all of these new parties my new wireless portable PA system is goin… t.co/G5OuaekPd… t.co/9PRijPRUl…

Tomorrow’s office t.co/QuEQadxCw… t.co/BqdUL2dgZ…

#CentralPerk #NotTheCentralPerk #Logan #Hyperdome t.co/4T6ojFxXU… t.co/lgc7EWlt1…

[Redacted]!!!!!!!!!!! #OMFG

Like the round ball and you’re getting married? #wedding #weddings #soccer #worldcup #br… t.co/9mqWYHP9Q… t.co/ajEtHyIvJ…

Like the round ball and you’re getting married? #wedding #weddings #soccer #worldcup #br… t.co/risHLtaSH… t.co/JHgFO7ltj…

Stevie loves being loved #not #catsofinstagram t.co/mj75KTmBS… t.co/VXTF68i3J…

“Where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.” - Harry Potter and the Deathly … t.co/UgEFyNNiB… t.co/p9dnk0zG9…

Not a month goes by where there’s not a weird data usage iPhone thing from @Telstra (supposed to have 5GB …) t.co/eqj4wmjY8…

He’s got the warrant!!!

Guy on the train is appearing in court next week for attempting to steal a plane … and fraud.

I don’t just get #butterflies … t.co/exRyUyPQ9… t.co/ZwF1rlTjx…

“Everything we hear is an opinion, not a fact. Everything we see is a perspective, not the truth.” - Roman Emperor, Marcus Aurelius

Lunch at GYG. Group of young students walk in. Nekminit I’m that old guy drinking a beer at lunch, by myself, on Thursday, next to students.

“You were frickin' awesome! We had quite a few people come up to us at the wedding saying that it was good to see a fun, young celebrant”

If the original computer engineers were being honest with themselves they would’ve called the thing that held information forever a wife.

I don’t know what everyone is freaking out about. There’s only been 74 school shootings since the Sandy Hook massacre in 2012.

#itsgunnablowwww!!! t.co/gtArNyISV… t.co/TKLV6A0Uk…

She’s just a girl t.co/0ivQcljCe… t.co/1ZMdnK6Wc…

It’s Reining Deers t.co/oShrQsDAP… t.co/jLWNuE5Ch…

Family road trip day! t.co/hgCRXGPs9… t.co/HMZjbDPRL…

That love condition #briswed t.co/o5KcK9mcN… t.co/My35P1F42…

Everyone else’s plans to #lovemesomefoil, will be … foiled … @blushingconfetti t.co/SA0IdROsI… t.co/P8wY7L0H4…

Things must be getting tight at Fairfax. Republishing an American wedding article that is 50% irrelevant to Australia t.co/j94dMLlnF…

I indirectly watch The Gilmore Girls with Britt, not for the feminine rom-com-drama, but for the subtle and awesome cultural references.

Just letting you know so you can prepare the balloons and confetti.

I’m probably an hour or two away from reaching inbox:zero for the first time in weeks.

“Postage stamps are such a cool idea!” - @snow_withers

I’m pretty sure I’m the only guy that actually replies to spam email with a reference to legal action and the Spam Act of 2003.

Free stuff! t.co/YzqazsoMB…

If you were in a positive and generous mood, a 5 star rating on my fB page would probably make my day t.co/sTBdex1fr…

Really digging the Robina Apple Store’s front window display. So simple yet effective. @ Apple Store,… t.co/oSMfNT04h…

In five years or so you’ll wish you had of followed @redlips_onships before it was cool (that’s like, now)

File this video under “White people gone crazy”: Baby Got Back, Sir Mix-A-Lot with the Seattle Symphony t.co/0mmJuXtYb…

Andrew Denton once said that he only really asked variations of one question on Enough Rope, basically: “Life is hard, how are you coping?”

10 Ways a Modern Wedding is Completely Different to a Traditional Ceremony [A little guest blog psot I blog posted!] t.co/7uRfmXnYt…

Is there a literal ‘Internet cafe’ on the Gold Coast that serves coffee like a cafe, but has Internet sessions that last more than 30min?

It’s me in @thewest_com_au! t.co/TEzywUVvv…

I’ve gone all out on my new @easyweddings profile t.co/qEFinQ69D… t.co/OZljsSlgG…

#marriedbyjosh and #photographed by @lucasandcophotography #brisbanecelebrant #briswed t.co/6uASkWFQZ… t.co/Zs4PlUyBI…

Natalie and Dean’s wedding timelapse: t.co/cyP3NoJUg… via @YouTube

And the King decreed that it was indeed a two beer kind of night, so we all drank two beers. t.co/0sMWZ59L8… t.co/E5JvRcrsd…

“No-one goes to radio station websites! That’s why we’re listening to the radio, because we’re not at the computer” - Britt yelling at SeaFM

Eat, drink and be #marriedbyjosh t.co/JxVNpAn6O… t.co/mGIC9USMe…

Fusion Jewish ceremony today, this plays a central part. It’s a chuppah. t.co/Qwfvh26nx… t.co/LatfRZbpJ…

There’s just something about driving a convertible that says “I’m a poor decision maker”

Make @JoshuaWithers smile, a how-to guide: vote for me in the @W_E_O_A People’s Choice Award t.co/HdbkVBSz0… #WEOA - RT much?

Make Josh smile, a how-to guide: vote for me in the WEOA People’s Choice Award t.co/zxJIXAw5I…

Thanks, spellcheck. t.co/rFNx3HP8c…

Stevie says “it’s so terribly inconvenient for me to be sleeping on your chest, you shou… t.co/6oN9qbzbQ… t.co/1n1OfxKIb…

Love a good love story #briswed #brisbanecelebrant #gccelebrant #weddings #wedding #vows… t.co/RobT2m7tc… t.co/ph8w7g7Oy…

Forever Mr and Mrs Young, a surprise wedding timelapse: t.co/8jiPZcaMC… via @YouTube

Mr and Mrs Young’s sneaky garage chapel surprise wedding timelapse #marriedbyjosh t.co/FPPdWFJAU…

Just surprised all of Jed and Rachel’s family with an awesome surprise wedding in their … t.co/UR3khQF8k… t.co/hyjiURIQX…

Matt and Katie #marriedbyjosh at #cherbonwaters t.co/Bas0iTqAt… t.co/LNzysCo2X…

Any West Aussies got a copy of The West nearby? I want to check whether a particular story ran today.

My greatest fear is that Kanye West will only be truly appreciated after his death.

The only wedding I’ll let you heckle me at this year is on July 20 at @lightspacebrisban… t.co/PvE0SMw2o… t.co/UUgqXFxMN…

Guys, Instagram is down. Let me know your fax number, I’ve got a selfie to send you.

If you really were a comedian you would’ve made a parody of Asshole by @DenisLeary about @TonyAbbottMHR by now.

“Whether you think you can, or whether you think you can’t, you are right.” - Henry Ford

And also this morning, a shoutout to lone-tweeter, @Poulyn_, who retweeted this old doozy t.co/JArPTAGhp… …. 10k RT would be nice

That’s the nerdiest tweet I’ve tweeted in a whilte, back to normal programming with @WHITEMagazine t.co/dBXatr1s8… sorry @RobinaTC

Dear @RobinaTC, your public WiFi terms and conditions acceptance splash page has some CSS errors. I had to disable CSS to click “Login”.

Trying something a little classier for Chris and Di’s #wedding #vows this weekend t.co/dKSKxMcIU… t.co/x3CwPWB1E…

“Success comes from doing the hard part” t.co/ixC2MGCds…

Hello modelling career t.co/eOfafnyib…

You know what’d be awesome? If you clicked this link, searched for Josh, clicked the vote button! t.co/PQ8km2vcn…

“Things turn out best for the people who make the best of the way things turn out.” - Art Linkletter

Just been voted the Universe’s most rad celebrant. Legit.

#marriedbyjosh #brisbanecelebrant t.co/qlXsLWiSy… t.co/6VNNvojkR…

I told everyone at the ceremony that the only rule synths wedding was that everyone have… t.co/azJbcYzFy… t.co/1iT5NXR3b…

Kerri and Kirt’s wedding timelapse at the Moreton Bay Trailer Boat Club: t.co/xDC9LHMY9… via @YouTube

#marriedbyjosh at #theriad photos by @lucasandcophotography and all the other pics and a… t.co/0gjsaN9qM… t.co/U6gvDQ3m2…

#marriedbyjosh photo by @lucasandcophotography t.co/lYezMMELh… t.co/iO89dCp3n…

Looking forward to taking a selfie with a guy who’s hopefully eaten live chickens with Marilyn Manson, or something.

I’m going to be marrying Rob Zombie’s drummer’s father-in-law, which is enough of a connection to get 17 y/po Josh to look up from the N64.

Sam and Ellectra’s #marriedbyjosh elopement featured on @the_lane today t.co/1yS4HMgwL… t.co/SmdLIHzml…

Sam and Ellectra’s #ByronBay #elopement at #The Riad is on @the_lane now. Pics by the ob… t.co/5JgZdTwd8… t.co/ZkSuNu2V5…

Calvin: What’s it like to fall in love? Hobbes: Well… say the object of your affection w… t.co/3uhScF478… t.co/jTS59ugWI…

Love getting warm and fuzzed in the mail, thanks Tim and Anna!!! t.co/ognnKoOg6… t.co/S7G7XCAyl…

ARN building in Stones Corner has a KIIS FM logo on it.

Please stop sharing the new ‘Bieber being stupid’ video, I’m waiting for the box set to come out.

#Marriage tip for awesome husbands t.co/tGleQsd8H… t.co/VFKfAIjls…

That time I was on the Today Show in Perth with some mates t.co/vfunHwM58…

“Tweeting” @ Warner Bros. Movie World - Gold Coast, Australia t.co/QBm4HQ5PE…

Check out this Joker t.co/1FIlZqcip… t.co/BBgXfz6Yu…

Our stint in the Justice League. They kicked us out. t.co/SZjHwVtZz… t.co/yW9wfd9yt…

A testosterone hurricane. Please lock up your women and children. t.co/FgxmrOc5q…

“Oh no! Where’s Robin?” says @hellobrittanyjane t.co/sVgDKUof4… t.co/HJkf4Jvbs…

I’ve got good news everyone, Britt and I have been invited to join the Justice League. T… t.co/TkLxF9rDH… t.co/YOaLTi2Cc…

“Stay gold, pony boy” t.co/okc4aKJvJ… t.co/aLJ3hOxRc…

This was the height of fun when I was a teen t.co/YUUZ2KgZ8… t.co/9Fw3Fw7Hv…

Probably will never see that face again #RIPDoc

Cute bird served me coffee this morning t.co/s6QpLjjXj… t.co/lHWm1lHjF…

I was wandering the streets of Sydney today between meetings and stumbled across @luifro… t.co/WD3UBNrD3… t.co/xFuSU5uWp…

Love my @twoguysbowties ensemble t.co/6dqVN38t5… t.co/LOo3HgiIF…

I liked a @YouTube video from @theshortcuts t.co/fELn68JWZ… Milestone and co - Jessykah Miles - Marriage Celebrant

A happy person … t.co/sxb8wEXZJ…

Dear Lyndon, thanks bro t.co/FRUOVHKa6…

How much can a Koala bare? @ T3 Qantas Sydney Domestic Airport t.co/WI0kJrBYd…

Homeward bound. As much as I love that bridge, I love @hellobrittanyjane about a tonne m… t.co/CyPjNzYqJ… t.co/4bHF8jd1Z…

They say that you can measure a man by his remaining iPhone battery charge. I am the 1%.

Just caught up with my favourite #sydneycelebrant, @jess23m t.co/H69wsbUCK… t.co/EMZTjr6fv…

Don’t jump, you’re worth it, Lorikeet. t.co/AkNqlozrc… t.co/TqTuaBLPJ…

When I grow up I’m going to have a travelator in my house t.co/8XfLdjO9P…

I’m no doctor but this girl has crabs t.co/qtOfiKt8K… t.co/1O91TYuKS…

I couldn’t help but make an ass of myself in this selfie t.co/u9qYMp8Dz… t.co/Z3c983LAA…

Going to the chapel … t.co/8CzTOMP9Y… t.co/9WnXawGVh…

If you missed me schooling @Lisa_Wilkinson on Pop-Up weddings today on @TheTodayShow you can watch it here t.co/mdGYzUqMp… @popupwed

Watching yourself on TV never gets less weird. t.co/ZLlhpePKD… t.co/8jKdouFVp…

Just had a chat with @SteveMillsPR and @BasilZempilas on @6PR about the @PopUpWed

I’m in Perth’s red light district this morning t.co/ABMhZEPEg… t.co/Zgfz9dlRt…

About to go live on the Today Show! t.co/Meh0rbybL… t.co/F1fvXqLaR…

About to go live on the Today Show! @ Chapel Farm t.co/f6k60YAA1…

Is there anyone actually giving out cigars to people that got close enough?

I should film him and release it as an exercise DVD.

Watching this man, across from me at the airport, eat an ice-cream has positively ruined ice-creams for me, forever.

Some crazy bride at this wedding expo has tattooed my name on her foot t.co/T1NaE9uMb… t.co/gkZIsUWFA…

Rick and Lisa’s Cloudland wedding timelapse by Brisbane Marriage Celebrant Joshua Withers: t.co/Pz5eh0SHU… via @YouTube

If you listen back to Fatman Scoop’s ‘Be Faithful’ I think you’ll find he’s quite the equal rights activist #CanIGwtAWhatWhat

Fun wedding vows are real, honest and personal vows t.co/Lunoagysw…

#marriedbyjosh with four of their closest t.co/1rAgqzRuF…

#marriedbyjosh at @cloudlandbrisbane t.co/AEtS0Rniy… t.co/YLB5eQbR4…

Just resisted the temptation to ask The Veronica’s for a post-wedding selfie.

Not my office today, someone else’s t.co/NTT7d736Q… t.co/jKgcsS7xo…

Old age is when you’re reading a clients birth certificate and they were born in a year you can clearly remember.

Love recognises no barriers. Here’s to everyone celebrating love this weekend! t.co/XadoxpN1w… t.co/Rmo5Ewrj7…

Dear weddings, it’s not 2004 anymore. A guest post by @Pippy_la_rue! t.co/3NfhtNaJs…

Men on mountains t.co/iQ1NCWPEx…

Who of all of my Tweeps are Perth mediaites? I’ve got a Perth wedding story for those keen, we’re rocking the @popupwed in WA this Monday!

I liked a @YouTube video t.co/fPNXBjT6H… The Ground is Lava - Ten Years On

I just had the most Queensland problem ever: I couldn’t find my good thongs.

A few weeks ago I talk to @kochie_online and @sam_armytage on @sunriseon7 about @PopUpWed ! t.co/Atap8JMGT… This Mon we’re in Perth!

Some people say dogs have poor memory. But Lulu knows exactly where she is today. t.co/3zXJbzg9u… t.co/WOkvmttB5…

Off to see a girl about a thing t.co/i0hnKDnqc… t.co/Mt7FFFeu3…

“You don’t make weddings with salad” - a bride just now on Facebook chat :) t.co/tyyNM3Qrr…

Was #Kimye as good for you as it was for me? t.co/4zfXsieFC…

Google Ad: 85c, the phone call, $1.60, hearing her whisper ‘woohoo’ before she ends the call to see if I’m available: priceless.

I’m just going to check-out from adulthood for a moment, be right back t.co/0SdyKlZL0… t.co/koEvxMmf4…

The problem with top 40 radio, and the top 40 web t.co/nqAKfZ7Js…

Mog has been rumoured to be replaced, updated by/to Beats in Australia.

Australian Beats/Apple angle: Mog is owned by Bears. In Australia Mog is sold/licences by Bigpond Music, no data charges on Telstra.

Apple right now: Just Beat it.

#marriedbyjosh #wedding #timelapse at #hillstone #stlucia #brisbanecelebrant #brisbanewedding @… t.co/MpXxY2MeY…

I need to do some family history research, stat t.co/MTUYkB2nE…

Love a Wednesday wedding! t.co/KWoQOLOZ0… t.co/3KXhnbSSG…

October 19 to 30 I’m in New York City. Let’s do a wedding while I’m there, ok? #nycweddi… t.co/a5goib55W… t.co/rLtVe9ANa…

I’m not wearing the right shade of maroon am I? #origin t.co/keBbu9KxF… t.co/NWTDIeHKC…

Barber is playing Slipknot. It’s a good day.

Team Mellish’s Ecostudio Fellini Awesome Wedding t.co/lg6y76M0R…

My phone with wifi networks is like my wife when she meets people from Mackay, “You must know Josh!” t.co/5CHG2LZdr…

Following the “Cups (When I’m Gone)” culture progression t.co/GdadfWrOp…

Some people go to theme parks for fun. Me? I just open the laptop but don’t open GMail straight away. I’m a thrillseeker.

Twitter bio of former Channel Ten Wake Up producer t.co/SUG8awIDP…

Lisa and George’s Lightspace Fortitude Valley Wedding t.co/XABoZc45l…

Big thanks to @bondnickbond for writing the #Kimye vows for my wedding ceremony t.co/53tBBEoVr…

Dear Hollywood … a billboard on on consciously uncoupling. Pic by @markdanielspears t.co/29bWdOMlx… t.co/5FxSoeHdu…

On the blog this morning: Did you know I was supposed to be @kimcardashian and #kanyewes… t.co/OMsZg4RNP… t.co/CDwquywMP…

Did you know I was all lined up to be @KimKardashian and @kanyewest’s celebrant but lost the job to @richwilkersonjr t.co/53tBBEoVr…

One of my weddings has just been featured in @polkadotbride! t.co/ilIYAqrYs…

Breaking: Australia to be renamed to The Straylia.

As much as I like @AlecBaldwin’s podcast, I’d probably highly rate him reading a microwave oven manual in a podcast t.co/BTU32Badq…

Sifting through @kanyewest’s back catalogue trying to guess which song he sung himself down the aisle to.

I’m in-stalled at Toowoomba’s @vintagebridemag wedding fair until 3pm t.co/SuyZXbXbe… t.co/3Zso03YFe…

“We both would love to thank you for creating such a memorable, light, relaxed, cheerful… t.co/LA2Kr27Mq… t.co/tnMSXKWR8…

“We were after a young, vibrant, non-traditional male celebrant and that’s definitely wh… t.co/nEy6OUYkY… t.co/hLtJBUcJy…

Once Upon A Dream wedding photography documents the making of a #selfie t.co/rQUXxcFWK… t.co/yWp8R1QRX…

Jedd and Kate’s Kingscliffe Salt Beach wedding t.co/e2ZtWOIMR…

Mike and Sandi’s Bundaleer Rainforest Gardens Wedding t.co/gFEUrwimS…

Webstats always tell such a fun and odd story. Today two people have Googled “cost of joshua withers”.

GCal runs a tight and lean ship, is very unforgiving, but given fair warning is very generous with days off.

Some say that being self-employed means that you’re your own boss. Not true. I’m employed by Google Calendar.

#marriedbyjosh captured by, and regrammed @bekgrace_ t.co/wLOwKSRas… t.co/GcJjX9koW…

The amazing @bekgrace_ will go to great heights to get the right pic #weddingphotography t.co/Hm58s88za… t.co/j06L5s2dj…

#marriedbyjosh #timelapse #mavisskitchen #mtwarning #wedding @ Mavis’s Kitchen and Cabin’s @ Mt Warning t.co/IxPGd13Fq…

Today’s going to be pretty cool t.co/cGZGA2tXX… t.co/H65OYMsFQ…

I’m usually not one for traditions. But reading the @SatPaper could easily become one.

Considering a new photo-journalism series “Motorways turned into carparks”

Do not ever give up. Simply print this out, stare at it forever, and eventually you will die.

“A man’s errors are his portals of discovery.” - Writer, James Joyce

Britt trying to describe zip-ties: the things rapists use.

I’m spending far too much time doing 0km/hr on motorways this week. t.co/96SejGHaX… t.co/ZPwtLJ6f2…

Two sleeps until @vintagebridemag wedding fair hits #Toowoomba. I’ll be there with a bun… t.co/0TOy4Dkkn… t.co/Pa0RGChrv…

#marriedbyjosh t.co/zwLtADiFm…

Mirra really dresses up for a ceremony! t.co/tutST5QM7… t.co/dxjkrB60R…

Increasing by an average of five people per day.

Hey, if anyone’s looking for website, Google, or SEO help I’ve got the details of about three trillion Indian guys that can help you.

Dear Internet, is there a Brisbane/Australian company that can, or does, make custom memo envelopes like this? t.co/A3QQPmqYd…

The real casualties of the universe expanding are the local universes that are already doing it tough in this astrological environment.

Marriage is less about being madly in love and more about always letting your bride have some of your chips.

I see many wedding videos, but none have starred @RealHughJackman or Laurence Fishburne. Nice work, @joemichalczuk! t.co/Kbll4FuMQ…

New favourite Tumblr blog: t.co/xxDe00VT4… t.co/UwPRPPp52…

As much as I tell everyone that I don’t miss the media, of course I’m the wanker whose first reaction to a truck on fire is: video that shit

Even at 2am the M1 motorway is a carpark t.co/NvBMw3PFz…

Truck on fire on Gateway Bridge: t.co/xBmMc0ftA… via @YouTube

Truck on fire on the northern side of the northbound Gateway Bridge #bnetraffic t.co/JZ2rESaFo…

I’ve hit a new low. Listening to Ice-T’s podcast. t.co/VMAF7zQuc…

Sad, funny, strange. Words I’m using to describe people passionately dancing to Semisonic’s Closing Time at 11:59pm.

The one who winks t.co/pPRud2jT4…

Life’s always good when you’re playing tunes. I’m at Novotel Twin Waters tonight. Don’t mention the two hour drive home at midnight ….

Weddings: not a girl thing t.co/g2AMv1Te2…

I think we should spend a weekend here sometime, Britt xx t.co/5Dk8OEieM… t.co/ezpsy3pzs…

A couple on why they booked me “we do not want a boring ceremony, we’re in love - not going into retirement”

I said “please don’t give me a girly little cup” t.co/hEDkq9ivz… t.co/vRNHol08P…

I said “please don’t give me a girly little cup” @ Monk &amp; Grind t.co/7ClKo2qiA…

Shuts … but shits is also appropriate.

It’s not a day ending in y unless there’s another crash on the motorway that shits down the whole motorway …

Enter to win a one year membership to The Inner Circle from @evolveyourbizuk &amp; a year membership to @stickyalbums! t.co/8A0EsKKHs…

Don’t be worried about what I’m doing :) t.co/lbTqSlXZb… t.co/HK8bJZubk…

With Channel Ten axing News it’s got a new show planned: Olds. It’s the best of the Ten News of the past 50 years.

Citizens of the world, let’s put aside our politics &amp; beliefs to unite against our true enemy: the canapés “no thanks” guilt-trip guy.

“We were after a young, vibrant, non-traditional male celebrant and that’s definitely wh… t.co/D92PTqZMB… t.co/QwH8fYJ5G…

You know you’re in the country when the local council installs signs instructing drivers to ignore their GPS.

Newspaper reports …. t.co/ufKvcvfxn… t.co/Fb8bXrSwo…

It’s not often I’m the shortest person at the end of the aisle! #marriedbyjosh t.co/F7761Q4os… t.co/bMbsE598h…

Wouldn’t it suck to be the guy who’s lasting legacy was inventing pistachio crispbread.

We’re in the latest Brisbane News magazine! (2/2) t.co/PcYicn7S2… t.co/59C6e4eQb…

We’re in the latest Brisbane News magazine! (1/2) t.co/MHTINKj05… t.co/bj49NCX5j…

Britt came back from the shops with these new fangdangled things for me that the kids ar… t.co/x7GSGk6ls… t.co/xZqs3yViG…

A wedding ceremony venue is a frame for a memory. This is a very elegant and cool frame … t.co/CJTTdyBfs… t.co/BpmujMwps…

I don’t see it working RT @mashable: The “world’s first” Braille phone is now on sale. t.co/kcUnmWc5S… t.co/nn9wss5ac…

I suppose 91.7 is aimed at an older demographic?

ABC Gold Coast is such a different radio station to 612 Brisbane. I literally feel young listen to 91.7, on 612 I feel on par.

People wanting to be stars, shouldn’t be stars #TheVoiceAu

Pick up a copy of Brisbane news this week, Danielle from @whitewhiteweddings and I are i… t.co/w2ZW0ctst… t.co/LYtNfxcuu…

Monday’s are Saturday’s in wedding world. On Saturday’s we BBQ. Here’s to the #freakinwe… t.co/98fRUzAym… t.co/NF0zs0I6g…

Getting my #BonjourBeauty on at @meccamaxima t.co/gM5uJhFlb… t.co/FecpY0tMC…

I know that’s a mega smart-ass tweet, @abcgoldcoast, but you’re doing the tech equivalent of announcing @JuliaGillard as the new PM.

ABC GC doing a new technology segment where they’re breaking the news of Google Glass, right now. Need a hand over there, @abcgoldcoast?

This banner is a little bit out of place on the Gold Coast, let alone in Australia t.co/86CqheddT…

Fixing father-in-law’s computer, what malware software do kids use on Windows PCs these days?

I’m starting to think that the only reason Stevie says hi in the morning is so she can s… t.co/1uLnVO7dG… t.co/191zvwF6s…

I better set the table! t.co/0j9hRGoWN… t.co/iyRrbwpVk…

I stopped an smelt a rose yesterday, and it was quite lovely t.co/RqAT75Go1… t.co/znmJxOkRE…

#marriedbyjosh photo by Natasha Jade t.co/jKMbjvlrM… t.co/odK9ergY2…

#marriedbyjosh at the #gabba pic by Natasha Jade t.co/qsFZ9gKt9… t.co/aRApHboTt…

#MarriedByJosh, photobombed by Mr Mo, pic by Natasha Jade t.co/b5RhYNcuK… t.co/UjkRarm1p…

#MarriedByJosh at the Gabba, pic by Natasha Jade t.co/uu4PEa77Y… t.co/3H4lmMcXe…

#marriage t.co/QUQ2pp4cC…

#MarriedByJosh at @SarabahVineyard t.co/DmtkFlUj5…

“Potential is the complete absence of achievement” - Actor, Grant Bowler with @oshergunsberg t.co/OYQdAjEDg…

The hens party was directly before today’s wedding t.co/g4bfelvHC… t.co/zr6ZSx7ak…

But first Llama take a selfie t.co/0hgaJR3nq… t.co/CM5Bt41wp…

Beats by Steve.

“Are we being invaded?” #MarchInMay t.co/dKKHCY5Ps…

Lovvvve this pic #marriedbyjosh t.co/vl1T17TQe… t.co/zaGOdesfC…

Bitch of honour … t.co/zbApopKPQ…

Imagine all the people …. t.co/a71weu8DZ…

Awesome wedding readings never heard at a wedding t.co/sgYZ95Dnb…

Do you know someone that works for a printing company? I’m looking for a blank, possibly even broken, pull-up banner. Bris/GC/Tweed.

The M1 is a carpark ……. t.co/CzIPMcPDf… t.co/eS1AKSAfz…

Being regular, again t.co/h9qZU7NlX… t.co/jVVrC2fZc…

Being regular, again @ Padre t.co/PhidkS5jK…

Couldn’t help myself #Gabba t.co/j27yYKCMu… t.co/Nm2FuAveF…

Couldn’t help myself t.co/Q8TvAOnbq…

Really hoping everything is M, A, R, a V, E double L, O, U, S for today’s wedding t.co/l5EhOL4vr…

Wedding on the Gabba turf today, I’ve got cricket puns, don’t worry, but if you had something extra specially punny, feel free to comment.

I wanted to post a Jay Z/Beyoncé joke and Britt said I could do it Solange as it was funny.

Seven awesome readings you’ve [almost probably] never heard at a wedding t.co/L1jWWxJzR…

Mega thanks to everyone :)

I’m worried this PA system thing is getting out of hand. Ch9’s on the phone … might just pay for one myself :)

Whatever our souls are made of, hers and mine are the same t.co/iSNwl0F5P… t.co/d49cfk7b0…

I have a very large collection of books … which I would like to start reading one day.

I liked a @YouTube video t.co/ZT67qphWv… Documentary - Very Short Stories

#marriedbyjosh photo by @paulbamford t.co/xfFsQf7gs… t.co/6U5CIWHk1…

Wedding is Thursday May 22 on the Sunshine Coast, I can pickup/dropoff to Bris/GC

Place I normally rent from can’t donate, so I thought I’d ask publically.

I’m donating my services to a terminally ill bride next Thursday night, needing a PA system and party lights for the reception, can u help?

As if you had anything better to do this morning and listen to @MolksTVTalk and I talk about TV … live in a minute t.co/1ft5MvBF9…

Amirite?

More like hero pussy

I’m reading Salt Sugar Fat by Michael Moss on @Blinkist t.co/8YBXGlBra…

Really proud of @hellobrittanyjane today. She’s a little #MeccaMaxima super trooper toda… t.co/H69NgkCVT… t.co/wLfSj1bmh…

It’s a good day on the Gold Coast! t.co/OUUS6XgzT…

“It’s people like you that we need more of in this confusing web of wedding information.” - Adam and Mel

New ABC show idea: @CliveFPalmer sleeping in Parliament t.co/Pd7k93hDk…

Google apps tells me I’m dealing with 96.07 business emails per day. Which is about 86 more than my morning coffee allows for.

World’s most brutally honest wedding invitation t.co/m1HKt5hoU…

Check out the world’s most brutally honest, and long, wedding invitation t.co/vlM9ZPTh2…

One of my @LovelockedCo colleagues won $40,000 on @sunriseon7 this morning! t.co/mHOG7lrww…

My car’s farewells are so ambiguous. See me when, Lancer? SEE ME WHEN? t.co/tJIVXulk5… t.co/GGpcx0D58…

Heard a @goldfmgc announcer say that American Authors' ‘Best Day Of My Life’ was coming up with no @JoeHockey reference. Missed opp!

Are you less inclined to use American Authors' Best Day of My Life in your wedding now @JoeHockey has tainted it? t.co/KrOGvBLjy…

“So sick … wish I could … get … help …. but …. bugger paying ….. seven … dol … lars …. like … seriously wtf?” - sick ppl

Some of the talent swimming around on Youtube is mind-blowing t.co/vDbxgRWt2…

If you watch the budget right to the end of the credits there’s a secret scene where Joe Hockey gets rejected from The Avengers.

Any update on hair cuts in the budget?

On an International scale right now, Australia is the rich kid chucking a hissy fit because his parents only got him a BMW for his birthday.

Five years of #MarriedByJosh today t.co/1m6uFopJj…

Some budget advice from Lightspace tonight t.co/x5GvcNnZS… t.co/DBog9SKG4…

Playing “Doctor, Doctor, give me the news” on the radio now costs $7 per play #auspol #Budget2014

Spending big on infrastructure? @TonyAbbottMHR has 99 problems but bitumen ain’t one #auspol #Budget2014

Ok …. I’m listening to @612brisbane now getting budget updates. Jokes to follow.

I’ve been working, so I’ve missed the while budget, but it sounds like @JoeHockey just changed lanes without indicating #auspol #Budget2014

Serious idea: reality TV show based around my email inbox. More crazy stuff happens in there than you’d ever imagine.

What a bargain, for $5 this chick will get me on the front page of Apple’s search engine t.co/xdNGkFSwT…

I’ll be there #GoldCoast #weddingexpo t.co/kiiqQ972q…

“A lady never reveals her secret Twitter account username” - a saying

Jay Z has x problems, where x=99+y where y is how many extra problems he has.

Is Limewire down for everyone or just me?

SEO/web nerd friends: What blog/resource/website would you say is the go-to, number one resource, definitive website for SEO advice &amp; info?

Lulu says hi, she also wants to know where the doggie treats are, in case you know where… t.co/OcA3MNVUZ… t.co/R0Ei0k6bo…

#MarriedByJosh, photo by @lucasandcophotography at #TheRiad #ByronBay #Wedding t.co/usPU7uYo2… t.co/UN9agihzs…

Do bearded people do Crossfit or are the two sub-cultures not allowed to cross streams?

#MarriedByJosh, photo by @lucasandcophotography at #TheRiad #ByronBay #Wedding t.co/B4UvUgPFp… t.co/pSFS0Eugg…

Big ups to @ChaplainRob for dragging this baby out of retirement t.co/V7glseAzM…

Meeting space in Brisbane that doesn’t feel like a morgue or cost the earth, any tips?

I’ll be at @adarlingaffair on the 19th of July! Are you coming? t.co/uewsYdEL5… t.co/9zV0KTecQ…

Breaking: Budget axe to fall on whole of government, everyone is unemployed, chaos to ensue. Follow #Chaos for regular updates.

I’m married now, what next? t.co/XpA8IHicF…

Mackay ranks above the Gold Coast in something t.co/8xTeqbe9n…

“If you haven’t announced a date, you’re not serious.” t.co/gz4DoaHaU…

Kickass kind words from Ricky and Amy! Photo by @EtherealPhotography0 t.co/kJ0jvdrbn… t.co/GwljR7UMB…

I promised Linda I wouldn’t post a bad photo of her on social media. So here’s a photo o… t.co/llSILshgw… t.co/n4imwIeOJ…

Nice one, Pablo t.co/eq1NH8ogK…

Also, does anyone know of somewhere to get a light lunch on the way to this wedding out the back of a Byron Bay?

Dear @googlemaps, how about an option ‘Directions to blah blah and is like to have a light lunch on the way but don’t know the area"

Anyone know what this means? t.co/w2q10MQUz… t.co/haPnRRrCO…

djay by @Algoriddim has gunshot sfx. Accidentally pressing it in the middle of Hey Ya! is hilarious. Also genuinely terrifying for dancers.

Luckier than @dannolan… @satpaper t.co/m3uoz621w…

The calm before the wedding t.co/MV4rWiXA3… t.co/Mlqgv8FVV…

Say what you will about me, but I’m on time because I schedule it :) t.co/t450WgM53…

Now that you’re Facebook official, lemme take a #selfie #marriedbyjosh #wedding t.co/ww9EbUstx… t.co/MYbbvdUFN…

You may now, actually, update your Facebook relationship status #marriedbyjosh t.co/79J2ZIT8p… t.co/61rB3f8ZR…

There’s at least a 3000% chance of a snake being in this morning’s wedding #gonebush t.co/tOvokIxrr… t.co/UoZ6Ba69E…

(Bands &gt; Offspring) is the musical version of Pi.

Hang on, let me take a selfie #marriedbyjosh #selfie t.co/E3A9Pt4az… t.co/yL8S608Ig…

I’m planning on retiring once I’m good at crosswords.

Happy new Pug/Kanye month! #meetthepugs t.co/LNFHYcq8T… t.co/wrts4FXkQ…

Births, Deaths, and Marriages t.co/RT67tOsVD…

Love these pics from Stacey and Nathan’s warm and inviting backyard wedding t.co/iKrM9bUYO…

“Can you really afford to attend that wedding?” awesome wedding blog for guests by @Pippy_la_rue t.co/9R3GQm5KJ…

#MarriedByJosh, now with extra beard thanks to @hitchedmagazine t.co/poyTtnrTo… t.co/7ew5lMGha…

Currumbin Beach breakfasts with an amazing bride this morning! #mybride t.co/h7CrCmox2… t.co/GdFFS49f6…

Sometimes I cut across four lanes of traffic just so someone will Tweet about me.

Any of my Sydney peeps in a co-work situation? I’m scoping out a part-time desk/meeting space. Looking for input.

This is one of the most popular blog posts on my website: 120 wedding songs that aren’t John Legend’s ‘All Of Me’ t.co/ju7xnvFMb…

Learn how to minimise the number of people that fall asleep at your wedding ceremony t.co/0L4Unu4e4…

Radio news website @_radiotoday is looking for an editor, wish I had the time in my week to do it! t.co/QYlMELlHh…

My little piece on the science of celebrancy t.co/NgEoCkLEk…

Because I booked a meeting without confirming it, I get to read the new issue of hitchedmag over a… t.co/p4VhI47mr…

Release the kracken, in your wedding vows, a how-to guide by Josh Withers t.co/GliLx99wR…

Seeing an elderly man doing 110km/hr in the motorway stopping ‘lane’ is equally awesome and scary.

Mind. Blown. t.co/3uZbm9zAf…

When you find something on your website that was so stupid, so obvious, has been there for years, quite possibly seen by thousands #facepalm

Charlie and the Supermarket #BadPrequels

Investigating Sydney coworking spaces. I have Google, so don’t need a list, but are you in a co-working space? Looking for desk + place2meet

Hey @dannolan, with Fairfax not having any photographers, I see a real opportunity for #StopTonyMeow to step into the groove.

Look, @Facebook, I don’t want to say you’re ripping me off … but these maths and logics are all broken t.co/qkrHNtPEX…

How @coastlinewedvid made friends and influenced people (in the Gold Coast wedding industry) t.co/ZSPIaVk95…

Quick and simple wedding songs inspiration: 120 songs that aren’t “All Of Me” t.co/zXOp8m0qL…

Adults taking duckface selfies in the fruit and vege section t.co/gNNE4hh6O…

Don’t do it, it’s a trap RT @MolksTVTalk: Get the jump on the latest MolksTVTalk podcast: t.co/yHAsrRASV…

Marriage &gt; Wedding t.co/zVAt1DwNY…

The Science of Social Proof: 5 Types and the Psychology Behind Each t.co/53UASCD5i…

“We loved with a love that was more than love" and other non-corny quotes about love in this blog! t.co/uKvpqliRa…

ABC radio asked me why I cost what I cost. Find out how much I cost, and why, in this interview t.co/jeKy9HXkB…

#wedding and all that social media wedding jazz t.co/IgiTnsF3f…

“A life spent ceaselessly trying to please people … is a sure road to a regretful existence.” t.co/ZMVgH7SKk…

Have you accidentally, unconsciously, decided to have a terrible wedding? t.co/KKu7bvfzs…

Coming up, Harry’s going to disappoint his family #TheVoiceAU

It’s the Scat-Surfer-Man #TheVoiceAU

My baby just cares for singing that nots mine #TheVoiceAU

Not many people know this but I actually used to go to Joshua Withers' old high school, so we’re practically related.

Pa just turned his seat around #TheVoiceAU

Ricky is the king of the hover hand #TheVoiceAU

No diggity, no doubt, it’s called the voice, not the feet, boys #TheVoiceAU

Everyone, set your tweets to ‘snark’, it’s #voiceau time.

Local butcher advertises as a hormone-free butcher. Explains why they’re always so chilled and calm in there.

If you’re like me, you have too many ideas. This post has an idea on what we can do with them. t.co/XNxvYCdUB…

Yesterday I downsized from following 3500 Twitterers to 180 or so. Now I just judge people on retweets and ads they’re responsible for.

How much does an Australian wedding cost? This survey says $36k t.co/M3oENk0NP… and this one says $29k t.co/E0xEWAqxM… sooo…

I find way too much enjoyment in writing emails to brides and grooms that attend wedding fairs I was at t.co/YVALS2TZw…

Freshly engaged to be married? Weddings are totes different today, read my 2014 weddings guide to get up to speed t.co/oOfTnk6lP…

When everything goes digital only I don’t know what Lulu and I will walk to get in the morning t.co/XMXcL3299… t.co/fdLHj6X6q…

The importance of kindness t.co/cTNrlaz5F…

Life’s a little weird t.co/GU7WqyMX3… t.co/nm4O3bweL…

I take it the Q&amp;A student protesters aren’t majoring in stage management or graphic design?

Twitter is such a different experience when you’re only following 180 people instead of 3300. Reminds me of Twitter 2008/2009.

By the power vested in me by the Internet, I pronounce these five wedding things absoloute bullocks t.co/NrenvQzyP…

“Be perfectly imperfect” a new wedding reading t.co/mXUvX4Sct…

Lovelocked II is coming, read all about it t.co/m7Cpwjsbq…

What your coffee order says about your personality, I “like to keep things simple” apparently t.co/DbmzqmAEz…

In case you’ve come to my profile with all the feels because of an unfollow, none of it is personal, just tweet me and I’ll come back atcha.

Unfollowing 3000 people on Twitter is surprisingly liberating. I’m calling it my direct action policy.

New plan, unfollowing everyone, then re-following people that come across my path or those that tweet me.

Inspirational unfollow blog post t.co/s19ki3bHn…

I’ve read a blog post and am all inspired. I’m resetting Twitter. Unfollowing every single person and starting again. Unsure if this is wise

Do you know Facebook actually has a page that shows you which friends you interact with the least? t.co/jzIEFHD1l…

As much as I love all new bride and groom enquiries, my favourites would be the ones where they talk about flying me to Bali.

Vegas, ironically, loves pop-up weddings t.co/ScaseGpMO… #StarWarsDay

Are tie pins a thing? #ShouldI? t.co/xp4B3rZ6K… t.co/sbNW4mLcH…

I think it’s worth noting that I have really snarky things to say about each contestant. I’ve resisted the temptation until C Major #voiceau

He did it all for the wookie t.co/hYrxq2D6p… t.co/9Vl8HrWAV…

Today’s conversation starter t.co/H71Rf7NL6… t.co/m95G0YK2m…

No shake and undo, no keyboard or selecting, just view. Any ideas?

I read weddings off my iPad using Apple’s Pages word-processor, but I’d rather a view-only word-processor to read from at weddings.

Help me find an app?

Gunshot heard in Robina.

#marriedbyjosh #vivandbart pic by @paulbamford at #ecostudiofellini t.co/INkNiO2E6… t.co/7alfb2Gy8…

#marriedbyjosh #vivandbart pic by @paulbamford at #ecostudiofellini t.co/GCZxAKeV2… t.co/ZB2jssPXH…

#marriedbyjosh and we lost the groom in the sea of hugs and kisses t.co/zN8uTphb0… t.co/W2DtZYcHB…

Super duper in love with @hellobrittanyjane today. Sometimes I just look at this ring an… t.co/3yveJzzoh… t.co/jRstF3rDj…

Marriage is a lot like an orange … t.co/yXvywWbyo… t.co/vicEOIPjc…

Marriage is a lot like an orange… t.co/pnhGskasM…

Good news everyone, I’m beautiful t.co/VrBbrCh1j…

Today’s office#WHPsilhouetted t.co/6Nt3FHfKU… t.co/FGhcl9kOn…

A motorway is my mistress t.co/d9k9Vu2w0… t.co/pe6jct3sE…

If Abbott really wanted to eradicate evil and make Australia happy he’d aim the new fighter jets at ppl that don’t indicate to change lanes.

#marriedbyjosh in the rain! t.co/9DbcU0hEp… t.co/CpbNzpSa3…

Rain wedding selfie t.co/aaGJDs9Os… t.co/imUXJbY7m…

Breaking: Aged Pension renamed ‘The Promise Land’, only to be available after you spend 40 years wandering around the wilderness.

Breaking: Pension age rise to test algebra skills. New age will be p=this_year-birth_year*x where represents how many fucks the govt gives.

Eat your greens t.co/ZDN02NwJ2…

Breaking: Pension age increased to three weeks before your funeral #budget

#marriedbyjosh #sirromet t.co/desMbBjR6… t.co/Ia02AmVnf…

The wedding selfie is totally a thing t.co/UQW769GQe… t.co/Apqbwuie6…

Roof mirror wedding open night selfie t.co/K74qjH6Za… t.co/jToGlL2ik…

Styled Ecents, styling events! t.co/yzRrPAuq9… t.co/g7cEFI1jB…

Amini rocking their awesome tree! t.co/CP6u1mic9… t.co/L8Ij2c2op…

It’s my name, on a stand! t.co/JFpdiDBw3… t.co/BK6dBtMVC…

Brenton and Jessica’s unplugged wedding t.co/I7C7pVzLu…

That awkward moment that ur mother that doesn’t speak to you asks why you haven’t podcasted recently @ThingCommittee t.co/YpiAu53hQ…

Planning the marriage ceremony of a social media expert in an hour. What techie, non-hashtaggy and not-corny things should she incorporate?

Doing the speed limit in the motorway ‘fast lane’ is my adult version of egging houses.

Express yourself …

I think this says a lot about my mental state at the moment, that it took me 7hrs to realise I had been listening to the same song all day

Ok … the same song has been playing since midday … it’s taken me 7 hours to realise …. t.co/F5LQBdljt…

I think the same song has been playing on repeat on @abcdigmusic for the last two hours. I have only just realised.

It’s been lovely knowing you all.

Sorry guys, totes got to change identities and go into Police protection. I just farted in an office I thought was empty, but wasn’t.

And May the Fourth be also with you, “My City Life” t.co/N4IyppguF…

In an unexpected package of generosity, @moo has sent me free business cards. How’d t… t.co/GPmzn509y… t.co/xdlNRetNO…

In an unexpected package of generosity, @overheardatmoo has sent me free business cards. Thanks for all the fish? t.co/gSOUqSWTG…

Carolyn and John’s Gold Coast Elopement t.co/2I9VBLsLL…

The hardest thing as a florist would be not playing with the floral foam t.co/TmmIfBOff… t.co/SNeNNQcWw…

Man throwing chairs around on the M3 southbound through Mt Gravatt #seriously

BREAKING: Every Australian taxpayer to be given a Snickers in the #budget.

#marriedbyjosh and pic by @katietakesapicture t.co/QnmHNjda8… t.co/aL6BrLenT…

Why does a celebrant cost that much? t.co/tiEpEQ6Lr…

Stevie’s puzzled by the big bad world under her #CatsOfInstagram t.co/uOxCQjhZn… t.co/nKTgWldbn…

I’m talking to Rebecca Levingston on ABC Local Radio across Queensland tonight a… t.co/p7kH1b2fL… t.co/IQsvuRcGi…

I liked a @YouTube video t.co/GZgYDzE9T… The Fire Extinguisher

#swearwordregrets “All the other sh*t that you’ve ever heard at a wedding isn’t necessary” t.co/XXkRy6fZZ…

I’m on @612brisbane from 7:30pm in @reblev’s Bill Breakdown segment. She’s grilling me on why I cost what I cost t.co/WkBXPAasn…

How to make sure your grandparents, and everyone else, doesn’t fall asleep at your wedding t.co/MjqQmlqQ0…

Remember when news-agencies had the up to date content monopoly? I’ve been to so many this w/e to find a @SatPaper, they’re all lotto now.

Conquering the world with my Bride tonight t.co/ZuQL8LBdf… t.co/1ZasvQ2Lg…

Proudly marrying nerds since 2008. t.co/B22rCfgXm… t.co/C568ItjH9…

Surfers Paradise Meter Maids sure are getting young. I just saw one looking for a ‘potty’.

Dating like it’s 1996 tonight t.co/Le3lHOYaq… t.co/ozgJTinEd…

Playing golf with Tiger Woods … or Lance Armstrong … or @the_wifelife tonight t.co/4XU0sUNpm… t.co/LgX0hCpKs…

“What we really need is conscious coupling. What we really need is intentional coupling.” t.co/9rmEJbguH…

All the photos from Carolyn and John’s Gold Coast elopement, plus a few warm and fuzzy words from Carolyn! Check… t.co/eUrHA2dMo…

Google has done some earth moving around Chevron Island t.co/FLRV25aGV…

We be honest! t.co/CvKvmXuwY…

Albert Einstein on Love t.co/EDSDl5f6r…

This is wheelie good​ t.co/BXIATWBf7…

Brad Pitt, rocket science, clean cars, all of these things do not impress Shania Twain much. She must be a blast to hang out with.

I really am not getting any better at these selfie things #marriedbyjosh t.co/qU1lAmwId… t.co/Pw8nWt8y1…

#marriedbyjosh #vanRawsaw t.co/79Ie3Oti5… t.co/rJ0Fwd9iU…

Back in The Red Box! t.co/rvuPMqSyJ… t.co/SqOPhhfE9…

I would post a pic from the wedding I was just at in Virginia, but the couple’s socia… t.co/YwTL0oVQo… t.co/OlycKSLGJ…

Been to a wedding where there’s a social media policy?

I would post a pic from the wedding I was just at in Virginia, but the couple’s social media policy forbids it.

Hashtag lyfehappens

Anyone lose this in New Farm last night? t.co/J5mitj91I…

Merthyr Rd newsagent says the first Brisbane @SatPaper “hasn’t been delivered yet, try next week.” Talk about #firstworldproblems …

I just liked “Lovelocked - A Unique Wedding Event” by @LemonTreeFans on Vimeo: t.co/8nPSKKyKi…

Feet up, thinking about how lucky I am. Anzac Day’s the perfect time to reflect on s… t.co/UedHBvuww… t.co/VUJGGE8md…

In all fairness I didn’t know you were allowed to be sober on Bali flights.

Are there any differences between beads and analysis beads? Asking for a friend.

Indian computer trolls t.co/uWVgRKpZz…

Spending ANZAC Day trolling Indian call centre staff that are helping me with this apparent computer problem they found for me.

In 3mths there should be a nationwide journalism conference where the keynote is just a montage of all of the reports about William &amp; Kate.

I can only hope that years from now future generations will stop and remember who Princess Kate was wearing.

I always imagined that my ACA debut would be me with a jacket over my head pushing a camera away. Not tonight baby.

Judging by my inbox, your brand being used and mentioned on @ACurrentAffair9 is worth more than a live cross on @sunriseon7 :/

This Dolphin just gave me a death stare, I think I’ve been marked by Dolphin bikies. … t.co/9u55cjJk0… t.co/Oiag3NCQd…

The sun sets into Brisbane/The view from Tangalooma right now t.co/92wBG9Va8… t.co/TFZ6njb68…

My Tangalooma district office is styled by @beautifulweddingsaustralia today #letmeta… t.co/WG1i8aNUE… t.co/heUO8QU8u…

BREAKING: WTF actually means ‘Well that’s fantastic". This story is still developing.

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